February 18, 2025 • 19 mins
Today's podcast episode teaches you the secrets to empowering teens with the confidence to conquer communication challenges head-on.
Imagine a world where your teen speaks with self-assurance, no longer shackled by the fear of judgment or a fixed mindset about their abilities.
Join Francesca as she unpacks effective strategies inspired by Dr. Carol Dweck’s research, tackling the impact of school environments and social media on teenagers' communication skills.
By encouraging the habit of thinking out loud, teens can learn to express themselves more openly, transforming nervousness into confidence.
Step into the realm of low-pressure public speaking with personal anecdotes from drama classes that showcase the power of everyday interactions.
Francesca introduces the power voice method, a transformative technique to enhance public speaking, and reveals the launch of the Confidence to Lead Academy—a dynamic course crafted to nurture future leaders.
As we wrap up, don't miss the invitation to join the open waitlist and stay tuned for more episodes packed with insights to help your teen discover their unique voice and confidently step into leadership roles.
CLICK HERE TO LEARN MORE ABOUT THE CONFIDENCE TO LEAD ACADEMY WAITLIST
If you enjoyed today's episode, please take the time to rate our podcast. Your rating means the world to us and it allows us to continue to share and grow our message of support to other fabulous humans out there!
For more free resources, check out my guide to the 5 secret habits of teens who succeed. Jam packed with advice, tips and strategies. Yours free!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome back to Challenge your Mind, change the
World, the podcast where weexplore how to raise thoughtful,
confident and capable teens whocan navigate life with
curiosity and courage.
I'm Francesca, your host andCEO, the Classic High School
Teacher, and today we aretackling a challenge that so
many parents face how to helpyour teen speak with confidence.
(00:25):
And I really wanted to talkabout this episode today because
, as a drama and performing artsteacher, which was one of the
many subjects that I taught athigh school, I used to find that
getting teenagers to be able tobe confident in their speaking
in class wasn't always easy, andso I wanted to talk about this
(00:47):
topic today, because maybeyou've noticed that your teen is
hesitant to get involved inclass or to get involved at
school, or maybe they struggleto contribute to group
discussions at home or groupdiscussions when you're out and
about with friends.
Maybe your teen avoids eyecontact when they're speaking or
they're mumbling their words.
(01:08):
Maybe they're unsure of howthey'll be received and, let's
be real, sometimes shynessreally kicks in, and our kids
won't even order their own foodat a restaurant.
So if this sounds familiar,you're not alone, my friend,
speaking up, whether in schoolor in social situations or in
leadership settings can feelreally intimidating.
(01:29):
But here's the good newsConfidence in speaking isn't a
personality trait, I promise youit's not.
It's a skill and just like anyskill, it can be strengthened.
With the right approach, we canchange it.
We can encourage and reallybuild the confidence of our
teenagers and our children,because it's not just teenagers,
(01:50):
it's what comes before theteenage years as well, which is
just as important, and we canstrengthen those skills.
So in today's episode, we'regoing to unpack why so many
teens struggle with speakingconfidence.
We're going to unpack why somany teens struggle with
speaking confidence.
We're going to look at thepsychology behind self-assurance
in communication and we'regoing to look at the simple,
(02:12):
science-backed strategies thatparents can use, that you can
use at home as a parent, to helpyour teen find their voice.
So if you want to raise a teen,a tween or a child anybody, if
you've got children at home ofany age, if you want to raise
them so that they can walk intoany room, speak up and own their
(02:32):
own voice, then this episode isfor you.
Let's start with a question whydo some teens seem naturally
confident when speaking, whileothers shrink into the
background?
And I remember I know from myown experience when we had to do
speech assessments at school.
Every year there were speechassessments from year nine
(02:54):
through to year 11.
And everybody used to be sonervous about it.
All my students used to be sonervous about it.
It doesn't matter what age theywere, whether they were year
nine, which in the States isyear eight, or through to year
11, which is the first class insenior school in New Zealand,
(03:16):
and everybody used to be nervous.
Here's the reality.
Most teens aren't quiet becausethey have nothing to say.
They're quiet because theydoubt their ability to say it
well or they fear how otherswill perceive them.
Now, according to one of myfavorite doctors on research on
mindset, dr Carol Dweck, herresearch found that teens who
(03:37):
lack speaking confidence oftenhave a fixed mindset about their
ability to communicate.
They think I'm just not a goodspeaker.
What if I embarrass myself?
People will judge me if I saysomething wrong.
Now we can look at the sciencebehind this fixed mindset In a
study from the AmericanPsychological Association found
(03:57):
that fear of public speakingactivates the brain's amygdala,
which is the center responsiblefor processing fear in our
brains, and this triggers afight or flight response,
causing racing heartbeats,sweaty palms, dry mouth, brain
freeze.
For many teens, this responsehappens even in very small
conversations, not just in bigpublic speeches, where you have
(04:20):
to stand at the front of theclassroom and all eyes are on
you.
So we need to look at this.
This is really importantbecause it's affecting our
teenagers in everyday life, andhere's what makes it worse.
School emphasizes correctanswers over confident
expression, making our teensfeel afraid of saying the wrong
(04:40):
thing.
Social media also adds to this.
It compounds.
It's created a culture ofcomparison where teenagers are
constantly worrying about howthey sound in front of their
peers and also.
Parents unfortunately oftenunknowingly reinforce fear by
speaking for their teens insteadof encouraging them to speak
(05:02):
for themselves.
And I am guilty of this.
I do this all the time and Ialways have to check myself,
especially when we're going outand we're meeting people for the
first time and we're making alittle bit of small talk.
I will jump in if my sondoesn't say anything, just to
basically fill the silence.
So we all do it, but we need tobe able to be confident in our
(05:25):
children's ability to use theirvoice.
Now here's the good news.
Confidence is not about beingperfect.
It's about practice, and todayI'm going to share some powerful
strategies to help your teambreak through the fear and own
their own voice.
So good.
So the first strategy that I'mgoing to teach you today is
we're going to teach them tothink out loud.
(05:46):
We're going to teach our kidsto think out loud.
Now, a lot of teens hesitate tospeak because they think that
their ideas need to be fullyformed before they say them.
But here's the truth Confidentspeakers aren't the ones who
know everything.
They're the ones who arecomfortable thinking out loud.
It's such a good habit to getinto at home.
It might drive other people inthe house nuts because they
(06:10):
might think that you're talkingto them.
We do this in our house a lot,but we are all thinkers who
think out loud, and I think it'sa great thing.
So here's how to help.
We can encourage our childrenand our teens to express
half-formed thoughts.
Now, what I mean by this is, ifthey say, I don't know what to
say, we can respond with that'sokay.
(06:33):
What's one thing you'rethinking about right now?
Or you could model it yourselfso you could say things like I'm
not sure how to explain thisyet, but here's what I'm
thinking dot dot, dot right.
Or we could praise effort, notperfection.
So when our children and ourteenagers do speak up, we can
celebrate the fact that theytried, regardless of how perfect
(06:55):
it was.
Just shower them with praisethe fact that they're actually
thinking and they'recontributing to the conversation
and they're giving their input,and this teaches them that
their voice matters, even iftheir thoughts aren't completely
fully polished just yet.
Now my second strategy is what Icall the three-second rule for
speaking up.
Have you ever seen your teenhesitate to answer a question in
(07:19):
class, only to miss theirchance?
Now, I know that, as parentslistening, you won't be seeing
your teenagers in class, butwhen you're having a
parent-teacher interview, it'ssomething that you can ask the
teacher.
What is your teenager like atspeaking up in class?
Or think about a socialsituation?
Do you?
When you go out for dinner orcatching up with friends, do you
(07:41):
notice your teenager hesitatingto answer a question?
Well, if that is true, well,I've got a trick for you.
We're going to teach our kidsthe three second rule.
So if they've got something tosay, they count to three and
then they say it.
No overthinking, no secondguessing, just go for it.
It's basically allowing ourkids the space to breathe, to
(08:06):
put together their thoughts andthen to say them out loud.
And it goes back to what I wassaying before about us, as
adults and parents, wanting tojump in and answer questions for
them.
Teenagers take a little bitlonger, need a little bit more
time, a little bit morebreathing space to be able to
answer the question.
So we're teaching them to countto three and then say it, and
(08:27):
this means that they're notgoing to be overthinking things,
they're not going to be secondguessing themselves, they're
just going to go for it.
They're just going to have a goat answering the question.
Now, why this works.
Well, I've got a study reportfor you from UCLA's Center for
Communication which found thatdelaying a response increases
self-doubt.
Right?
So if you're sitting therechewing over the answer in your
(08:48):
mind should I answer it, shouldI not then you are, by delaying
that response, you areincreasing your own self-doubt,
overthinking it.
We do this as adults too.
I'm a terrible overthinker.
I'm always overthinking things.
I mean, sometimes what feelslike a spontaneous decision for
me is actually my husband sayingdon't overthink it, just do it.
And it is so true, and in thenicest possible way.
(09:12):
This is what we need to modeland scaffold for our children
and our teenagers.
So by telling them to count tothree and then answer it, it
means they're not going to justsit there agonizing over whether
or not they're going to beright by answering the question.
So the longer that teenagershesitate, the more likely they
are to talk themselves out ofspeaking.
So let's practice this at homeDuring dinner.
(09:34):
I challenge you to ask yourchildren or your teenagers a
random question like what's thebest movie ever?
Totally random, and then havethem answer it within three
seconds.
Make it into a game.
Have a stopwatch out, see who'sthe fastest to answer, you know
, turn it into a bit of acompetition.
I've got boys at home.
They love competition, soeverything just turns into a
(09:56):
competition in our house.
But by practicing this at home,it builds reflexive confidence,
which is the ability to trusttheir own voice, and that is
building confidence.
So good, now my third strategy.
I've got four of them, by theway.
So this is number threeStrategy.
Number three is their lowstakes speaking, which leads to
(10:17):
high confidence.
Public speaking Now, what do Imean by that?
Most teens fear public speakingbecause they haven't practiced
speaking in low pressuresituations, and this is why I
used to love drama classes atschool.
We used to have some classeswhere it was mainstream English,
but we had a couple of dramamodules built into it, meaning
that students who had opted intothose classes got to do a
(10:41):
little bit of drama as well asEnglish.
And by introducing theatre,sports games and warm-up games
at the start of the lessons, mystudents really got used to
speaking in front of each otherin really low-pressure
situations.
It would just be turning theclassroom into a real community
feel, and you can do that athome as well.
(11:04):
So the solution is to help ourkids, help our teenagers, build
confidence in everydayconversations at home.
We want to encourage them toorder their own food at
restaurants.
We want to encourage them toask a store clerk a question
when you're out shopping, themto ask a store clerk a question
when you're out shopping, orencourage them and this is a
(11:24):
hard one, but really encouragethem to introduce themselves to
new people.
Now, research from Stanfordshowed that teens who practice
low stakes speaking so that'sthe things like casual
conversations, ordering theirown food, introducing themselves
to new people, all of those lowstakes speaking develop greater
confidence in high stakessituations like presentations
(11:47):
and debates.
And my bonus tip for you is tothink about role play at home.
You could ask how would youintroduce yourself if you were
meeting someone new today andpractice the different ways to
start conversations.
Once again, this could be agreat dinner party game, over
the dinner table tonight to tryit.
How would you introduceyourself if you were meeting
someone new today and you couldput different personality types
(12:10):
in?
How would you introduceyourself if you were meeting the
president today?
How would you introduceyourself if you were meeting
King Charles today?
That kind of thing Make it fun.
Now my fourth strategy is tohelp our children and help our
teens master their power voice.
Have you ever noticed that whenteens are nervous, they either
(12:32):
mumble or they overcompensate bytalking too fast?
Here's a technique that workswonders the power voice method.
Now here's how.
Technique that works wondersthe power voice method.
Now here's how it works.
Step one we're going to lowerthe speed.
Speak 20 slower than normal.
This makes them sound moreconfident and gives their brain
(12:56):
time to process thoughts.
Get your teen or your tween tostart speaking at a lower speed
Now.
Step two is to emphasize keywords.
So we're going to teach ourteens to pause before saying
something important, and thisincreases engagement.
(13:17):
You see what I did there.
So we want to teach them topause.
And step three we want tobreathe before speaking.
So a deep breath before talkingsignals to the brain that it's
in control.
So, by teaching our tweens andour teens to breathe before
speaking, take a deep breaththen there's science related to
(13:40):
that.
It's signaling to the brainthat they are in control, and
psychology studies confirm thatpeople who speak slower and use
intentional pauses are perceivedas 30% more confident and
credible.
Lower the speed, emphasize keywords and breathe before
speaking.
So what you could do at home isyou could ask your tween or
(14:04):
your teen to read a paragraphfrom their favorite book with a
really strong, steady voice,because this is going to help
them feel their own power, getthem used to listening to their
voice in a new way.
Now, at the end of the day,helping your teen find their
voice in a new way Now, at theend of the day, helping your
teen find their voice isn't justabout speaking.
It's about self-assurance,independence and leadership,
(14:27):
because when your teen knows howto express themselves
confidently, they will beunstoppable in school, in their
friendships in their jobinterviews and well beyond that.
So your challenge this week Ichallenge you.
Your challenge, if you acceptit is to try one of these
strategies that we've justtalked about, these four
(14:49):
strategies, with your teen.
Maybe it's the three-secondrule, or practicing a power
voice and then DM me or commentand tell me what worked.
I would love to hear how you gothen DM me or comment and tell
me what worked.
I would love to hear how you go.
Now, talking about communicationand helping our teens find
their voice, I am putting thefinishing touches on a brand new
(15:09):
, very, very, very specialcourse very close to my heart.
I have created this with my ownchildren in mind, to help them,
as well as all of my amazingClassic High School Teacher
community of parents.
The parents that are in theClassic High School Teacher
community are committed.
They want the best for theirchildren and they are eager to
(15:31):
be able to support them in anyway they can, and so this course
that I have put together is allabout helping your teen to find
their voice, to find theirconfidence.
It's called the Confidence toLead Academy.
The waitlist has just openedand I'm taking waitlist names
until we are ready to roll itout, which is going to be really
, really soon.
But if you sign up now to thewaitlist, then that means that
(15:54):
you are going to be front linefor when we do open and there'll
be a few extra bonuses andsurprises for you that everybody
else will miss out on.
So you don't want to miss outon that waitlist.
I will link it in the shownotes.
That's the Confidence to LeadAcademy waitlist, and it is all
about empowering our teenagersto become the leaders of
tomorrow.
(16:14):
It's really important in thisdigital age.
It's really important in thisworld of AI that's evolving so
fast, and if we do not empowerour children to find their voice
and to be confident in the waythat they express themselves in
the world, then AI will takeover their jobs, they'll take
over their confidence and it'sgoing to be a lot harder for
(16:38):
them to navigate through a worldwhere so much of what we do now
will be redundant in the future.
So we need to support our teens, to help them find their voice,
help them understand what itmeans to be a leader, what it
means to work in groupsituations, what it means to
thrive in a community situation.
All of these things are soimportant.
(16:59):
They're not taught in skillsbecause they're not part of the
curriculum, but they're lifeskills.
So join me inside Confidence toLead.
The waitlist is open now, and Iknow you are going to be so
thrilled by it.
All right, so that's it fortoday.
If you loved this episode,don't forget to hit subscribe
and share it with a fellowparent who needs to hear this.
(17:20):
I will see you next time onChallenge your Mind, change the
World.
Bye for now.
Welcome back to Challenge your Mind, change the
World, the podcast where weexplore how to raise thoughtful,
confident and capable teens whocan navigate life with
curiosity and courage.
I'm Francesca, your host andCEO, the Classic High School
Teacher, and today we aretackling a challenge that so
many parents face how to helpyour teen speak with confidence.
(00:25):
And I really wanted to talkabout this episode today because
, as a drama and performing artsteacher, which was one of the
many subjects that I taught athigh school, I used to find that
getting teenagers to be able tobe confident in their speaking
in class wasn't always easy, andso I wanted to talk about this
(00:47):
topic today, because maybeyou've noticed that your teen is
hesitant to get involved inclass or to get involved at
school, or maybe they struggleto contribute to group
discussions at home or groupdiscussions when you're out and
about with friends.
Maybe your teen avoids eyecontact when they're speaking or
they're mumbling their words.
(01:08):
Maybe they're unsure of howthey'll be received and, let's
be real, sometimes shynessreally kicks in, and our kids
won't even order their own foodat a restaurant.
So if this sounds familiar,you're not alone, my friend,
speaking up, whether in schoolor in social situations or in
leadership settings can feelreally intimidating.
(01:29):
But here's the good newsConfidence in speaking isn't a
personality trait, I promise youit's not.
It's a skill and just like anyskill, it can be strengthened.
With the right approach, we canchange it.
We can encourage and reallybuild the confidence of our
teenagers and our children,because it's not just teenagers,
(01:50):
it's what comes before theteenage years as well, which is
just as important, and we canstrengthen those skills.
So in today's episode, we'regoing to unpack why so many
teens struggle with speakingconfidence.
We're going to unpack why somany teens struggle with
speaking confidence.
We're going to look at thepsychology behind self-assurance
in communication and we'regoing to look at the simple,
(02:12):
science-backed strategies thatparents can use, that you can
use at home as a parent, to helpyour teen find their voice.
So if you want to raise a teen,a tween or a child anybody, if
you've got children at home ofany age, if you want to raise
them so that they can walk intoany room, speak up and own their
(02:32):
own voice, then this episode isfor you.
Let's start with a question whydo some teens seem naturally
confident when speaking, whileothers shrink into the
background?
And I remember I know from myown experience when we had to do
speech assessments at school.
Every year there were speechassessments from year nine
(02:54):
through to year 11.
And everybody used to be sonervous about it.
All my students used to be sonervous about it.
It doesn't matter what age theywere, whether they were year
nine, which in the States isyear eight, or through to year
11, which is the first class insenior school in New Zealand,
(03:16):
and everybody used to be nervous.
Here's the reality.
Most teens aren't quiet becausethey have nothing to say.
They're quiet because theydoubt their ability to say it
well or they fear how otherswill perceive them.
Now, according to one of myfavorite doctors on research on
mindset, dr Carol Dweck, herresearch found that teens who
(03:37):
lack speaking confidence oftenhave a fixed mindset about their
ability to communicate.
They think I'm just not a goodspeaker.
What if I embarrass myself?
People will judge me if I saysomething wrong.
Now we can look at the sciencebehind this fixed mindset In a
study from the AmericanPsychological Association found
(03:57):
that fear of public speakingactivates the brain's amygdala,
which is the center responsiblefor processing fear in our
brains, and this triggers afight or flight response,
causing racing heartbeats,sweaty palms, dry mouth, brain
freeze.
For many teens, this responsehappens even in very small
conversations, not just in bigpublic speeches, where you have
(04:20):
to stand at the front of theclassroom and all eyes are on
you.
So we need to look at this.
This is really importantbecause it's affecting our
teenagers in everyday life, andhere's what makes it worse.
School emphasizes correctanswers over confident
expression, making our teensfeel afraid of saying the wrong
(04:40):
thing.
Social media also adds to this.
It compounds.
It's created a culture ofcomparison where teenagers are
constantly worrying about howthey sound in front of their
peers and also.
Parents unfortunately oftenunknowingly reinforce fear by
speaking for their teens insteadof encouraging them to speak
(05:02):
for themselves.
And I am guilty of this.
I do this all the time and Ialways have to check myself,
especially when we're going outand we're meeting people for the
first time and we're making alittle bit of small talk.
I will jump in if my sondoesn't say anything, just to
basically fill the silence.
So we all do it, but we need tobe able to be confident in our
(05:25):
children's ability to use theirvoice.
Now here's the good news.
Confidence is not about beingperfect.
It's about practice, and todayI'm going to share some powerful
strategies to help your teambreak through the fear and own
their own voice.
So good.
So the first strategy that I'mgoing to teach you today is
we're going to teach them tothink out loud.
(05:46):
We're going to teach our kidsto think out loud.
Now, a lot of teens hesitate tospeak because they think that
their ideas need to be fullyformed before they say them.
But here's the truth Confidentspeakers aren't the ones who
know everything.
They're the ones who arecomfortable thinking out loud.
It's such a good habit to getinto at home.
It might drive other people inthe house nuts because they
(06:10):
might think that you're talkingto them.
We do this in our house a lot,but we are all thinkers who
think out loud, and I think it'sa great thing.
So here's how to help.
We can encourage our childrenand our teens to express
half-formed thoughts.
Now, what I mean by this is, ifthey say, I don't know what to
say, we can respond with that'sokay.
(06:33):
What's one thing you'rethinking about right now?
Or you could model it yourselfso you could say things like I'm
not sure how to explain thisyet, but here's what I'm
thinking dot dot, dot right.
Or we could praise effort, notperfection.
So when our children and ourteenagers do speak up, we can
celebrate the fact that theytried, regardless of how perfect
(06:55):
it was.
Just shower them with praisethe fact that they're actually
thinking and they'recontributing to the conversation
and they're giving their input,and this teaches them that
their voice matters, even iftheir thoughts aren't completely
fully polished just yet.
Now my second strategy is what Icall the three-second rule for
speaking up.
Have you ever seen your teenhesitate to answer a question in
(07:19):
class, only to miss theirchance?
Now, I know that, as parentslistening, you won't be seeing
your teenagers in class, butwhen you're having a
parent-teacher interview, it'ssomething that you can ask the
teacher.
What is your teenager like atspeaking up in class?
Or think about a socialsituation?
Do you?
When you go out for dinner orcatching up with friends, do you
(07:41):
notice your teenager hesitatingto answer a question?
Well, if that is true, well,I've got a trick for you.
We're going to teach our kidsthe three second rule.
So if they've got something tosay, they count to three and
then they say it.
No overthinking, no secondguessing, just go for it.
It's basically allowing ourkids the space to breathe, to
(08:06):
put together their thoughts andthen to say them out loud.
And it goes back to what I wassaying before about us, as
adults and parents, wanting tojump in and answer questions for
them.
Teenagers take a little bitlonger, need a little bit more
time, a little bit morebreathing space to be able to
answer the question.
So we're teaching them to countto three and then say it, and
(08:27):
this means that they're notgoing to be overthinking things,
they're not going to be secondguessing themselves, they're
just going to go for it.
They're just going to have a goat answering the question.
Now, why this works.
Well, I've got a study reportfor you from UCLA's Center for
Communication which found thatdelaying a response increases
self-doubt.
Right?
So if you're sitting therechewing over the answer in your
(08:48):
mind should I answer it, shouldI not then you are, by delaying
that response, you areincreasing your own self-doubt,
overthinking it.
We do this as adults too.
I'm a terrible overthinker.
I'm always overthinking things.
I mean, sometimes what feelslike a spontaneous decision for
me is actually my husband sayingdon't overthink it, just do it.
And it is so true, and in thenicest possible way.
(09:12):
This is what we need to modeland scaffold for our children
and our teenagers.
So by telling them to count tothree and then answer it, it
means they're not going to justsit there agonizing over whether
or not they're going to beright by answering the question.
So the longer that teenagershesitate, the more likely they
are to talk themselves out ofspeaking.
So let's practice this at homeDuring dinner.
(09:34):
I challenge you to ask yourchildren or your teenagers a
random question like what's thebest movie ever?
Totally random, and then havethem answer it within three
seconds.
Make it into a game.
Have a stopwatch out, see who'sthe fastest to answer, you know
, turn it into a bit of acompetition.
I've got boys at home.
They love competition, soeverything just turns into a
(09:56):
competition in our house.
But by practicing this at home,it builds reflexive confidence,
which is the ability to trusttheir own voice, and that is
building confidence.
So good, now my third strategy.
I've got four of them, by theway.
So this is number threeStrategy.
Number three is their lowstakes speaking, which leads to
(10:17):
high confidence.
Public speaking Now, what do Imean by that?
Most teens fear public speakingbecause they haven't practiced
speaking in low pressuresituations, and this is why I
used to love drama classes atschool.
We used to have some classeswhere it was mainstream English,
but we had a couple of dramamodules built into it, meaning
that students who had opted intothose classes got to do a
(10:41):
little bit of drama as well asEnglish.
And by introducing theatre,sports games and warm-up games
at the start of the lessons, mystudents really got used to
speaking in front of each otherin really low-pressure
situations.
It would just be turning theclassroom into a real community
feel, and you can do that athome as well.
(11:04):
So the solution is to help ourkids, help our teenagers, build
confidence in everydayconversations at home.
We want to encourage them toorder their own food at
restaurants.
We want to encourage them toask a store clerk a question
when you're out shopping, themto ask a store clerk a question
when you're out shopping, orencourage them and this is a
(11:24):
hard one, but really encouragethem to introduce themselves to
new people.
Now, research from Stanfordshowed that teens who practice
low stakes speaking so that'sthe things like casual
conversations, ordering theirown food, introducing themselves
to new people, all of those lowstakes speaking develop greater
confidence in high stakessituations like presentations
(11:47):
and debates.
And my bonus tip for you is tothink about role play at home.
You could ask how would youintroduce yourself if you were
meeting someone new today andpractice the different ways to
start conversations.
Once again, this could be agreat dinner party game, over
the dinner table tonight to tryit.
How would you introduceyourself if you were meeting
someone new today and you couldput different personality types
(12:10):
in?
How would you introduceyourself if you were meeting the
president today?
How would you introduceyourself if you were meeting
King Charles today?
That kind of thing Make it fun.
Now my fourth strategy is tohelp our children and help our
teens master their power voice.
Have you ever noticed that whenteens are nervous, they either
(12:32):
mumble or they overcompensate bytalking too fast?
Here's a technique that workswonders the power voice method.
Now here's how.
Technique that works wondersthe power voice method.
Now here's how it works.
Step one we're going to lowerthe speed.
Speak 20 slower than normal.
This makes them sound moreconfident and gives their brain
(12:56):
time to process thoughts.
Get your teen or your tween tostart speaking at a lower speed
Now.
Step two is to emphasize keywords.
So we're going to teach ourteens to pause before saying
something important, and thisincreases engagement.
(13:17):
You see what I did there.
So we want to teach them topause.
And step three we want tobreathe before speaking.
So a deep breath before talkingsignals to the brain that it's
in control.
So, by teaching our tweens andour teens to breathe before
speaking, take a deep breaththen there's science related to
(13:40):
that.
It's signaling to the brainthat they are in control, and
psychology studies confirm thatpeople who speak slower and use
intentional pauses are perceivedas 30% more confident and
credible.
Lower the speed, emphasize keywords and breathe before
speaking.
So what you could do at home isyou could ask your tween or
(14:04):
your teen to read a paragraphfrom their favorite book with a
really strong, steady voice,because this is going to help
them feel their own power, getthem used to listening to their
voice in a new way.
Now, at the end of the day,helping your teen find their
voice in a new way Now, at theend of the day, helping your
teen find their voice isn't justabout speaking.
It's about self-assurance,independence and leadership,
(14:27):
because when your teen knows howto express themselves
confidently, they will beunstoppable in school, in their
friendships in their jobinterviews and well beyond that.
So your challenge this week Ichallenge you.
Your challenge, if you acceptit is to try one of these
strategies that we've justtalked about, these four
(14:49):
strategies, with your teen.
Maybe it's the three-secondrule, or practicing a power
voice and then DM me or commentand tell me what worked.
I would love to hear how you gothen DM me or comment and tell
me what worked.
I would love to hear how you go.
Now, talking about communicationand helping our teens find
their voice, I am putting thefinishing touches on a brand new
(15:09):
, very, very, very specialcourse very close to my heart.
I have created this with my ownchildren in mind, to help them,
as well as all of my amazingClassic High School Teacher
community of parents.
The parents that are in theClassic High School Teacher
community are committed.
They want the best for theirchildren and they are eager to
(15:31):
be able to support them in anyway they can, and so this course
that I have put together is allabout helping your teen to find
their voice, to find theirconfidence.
It's called the Confidence toLead Academy.
The waitlist has just openedand I'm taking waitlist names
until we are ready to roll itout, which is going to be really
, really soon.
But if you sign up now to thewaitlist, then that means that
(15:54):
you are going to be front linefor when we do open and there'll
be a few extra bonuses andsurprises for you that everybody
else will miss out on.
So you don't want to miss outon that waitlist.
I will link it in the shownotes.
That's the Confidence to LeadAcademy waitlist, and it is all
about empowering our teenagersto become the leaders of
tomorrow.
(16:14):
It's really important in thisdigital age.
It's really important in thisworld of AI that's evolving so
fast, and if we do not empowerour children to find their voice
and to be confident in the waythat they express themselves in
the world, then AI will takeover their jobs, they'll take
over their confidence and it'sgoing to be a lot harder for
(16:38):
them to navigate through a worldwhere so much of what we do now
will be redundant in the future.
So we need to support our teens, to help them find their voice,
help them understand what itmeans to be a leader, what it
means to work in groupsituations, what it means to
thrive in a community situation.
All of these things are soimportant.
(16:59):
They're not taught in skillsbecause they're not part of the
curriculum, but they're lifeskills.
So join me inside Confidence toLead.
The waitlist is open now, and Iknow you are going to be so
thrilled by it.
All right, so that's it fortoday.
If you loved this episode,don't forget to hit subscribe
and share it with a fellowparent who needs to hear this.
(17:20):
I will see you next time onChallenge your Mind, change the
World.
Bye for now.
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