In this heartfelt episode of the Champion Mindset Collective Podcast, Anthony Dahya sits down with Amanda Law to explore her powerful journey through anorexia and orthorexia, two eating disorders that shaped much of her early life. Amanda opens up about how her obsession with food rules and body control spiralled into a toxic mindset, and how seeking help became her turning point.
With honesty and vulnerability, Amanda shares how a combination of therapy, mindset shifts, positive affirmations, and mindfulness helped her build a healthy relationship with food. From measuring every meal to embracing her body with compassion, Amanda’s story is a reminder that healing is possible and that it starts with changing the way we think.
Whether you're struggling with food, self-image, or know someone who is, this conversation offers insight, hope, and practical tools for support.
- 🌿 Learn how to spot the signs of disordered eating
- 🌿 Hear Amanda’s tips for building a healthy relationship with food
- 🌿 Discover the mindset tools that helped her heal
💡 Key Takeaways
Orthorexia often masquerades as “healthy eating” but is rooted in fear and control.
Therapy and mindset work are crucial in breaking free from obsessive food behaviours.
Positive affirmations and self-awareness can rewire harmful thought patterns.
Recovery isn’t a destination—it’s an ongoing process that requires mindfulness.
Supporting someone with an eating disorder means listening, not fixing.
👉 If you or someone you love is struggling with body image or food control, this episode will bring clarity and hope.
Contact Amanda Law:
➡️ Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/amandalawrecruiter/
📢 Connect with Me!
📒📒 Champion Mindset Collective:
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➡️ Click this link to visit and join the Champion Mindset Collective Facebook group: https://www.linkedin.com/groups/14404192/
➡️LinkedIn:https://www.linkedin.com/in/anthonydahya/ ➡️Facebook: / anthony.dahya
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➡️YouTube:https://www.youtube.com/@AnthonyDahya ➡️Spotify:https://open.spotify.com/show/7kjTpNOpEHHfqAM4Mrx9xY?si=bb7d2c9a226f4d9f ➡️TikTok: / anthony.dahya
💬 Let's Discuss!Leave your thoughts or questions in the comments below.
I’d love to hear from you!
Email me at: podcast@anthonydahya.com
This episode is sponsored by AI Workflows, Empowering Business Growth with Intelligent Automation and AI
Email: aiworkflows@anthonydahya.com
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:03):
But I had a like a really abusive childhood.
Food became like the one thing that I could control, that I had
control over. I think somewhere along the
lines that just got like really quite distorted in our household
as well. All of the treat food, the
chocolates, the biscuits and stuff that was locked away in a
cabinet always would find the key and I would go and open up
(00:24):
the thing and I would just bingeJake because I, you know, I
wasn't allowed. So for the first because I saw
her quite like really regularly.So like in the first week I had
to go away and I had to wipe down all these things that were
kind of bubbling up subconsciously that I wasn't
even really aware of. But I was so shocked.
Like it wasn't even like 1 an hour.
It was like 4 negative thoughts an hour.
(00:46):
Itive thought things massive forme because she sent me away and
she said I want every single time you have a negative thought
that bubbles up within you to recognise where it's coming
from. Like is it coming from your
head? Is it coming from like your
heart? Is it coming from your gut?
And what is it? And I want you to start writing
(01:06):
these down. That would often say to myself,
my body's perfect the way that it is now.
I seem like how much I was beingreally unkind to myself.
And that was the shift. But I had to go through that
actually unlocked having a better relationship with food.
You know, I'm healthy. I'm so grateful to have a
healthy body that functions really well.
(01:26):
You know, gratitude. Gratitude is really important.
Welcome to the champion music collective podcast.
I'm yours Anthony Dyer. I'm so grateful that you're here
watching or listening to this episode.
Would love for you to share thisepisode with your friends, your
family, and your work mates. And don't forget to subscribe or
follow. Today's podcast is about a
struggle with orthorexia, which is an eating disorder, and how
(01:50):
Amanda overcame it with the power of positive thinking.
Welcome. Today, we're in this powerful
and deeply personal conversationwith Amanda Law, who is here to
share her journey of overcoming orthorexia.
It's an eating disorder that often goes unnoticed but can
have a significant impact on mental and physical wellbeing.
(02:13):
Amanda's story is of resilience,self discovery and the power of
positive mindset. She battled anorexia as a
teenager, only to later find herself trapped in orthorexia, A
relentless obsession with eatingclean and controlling every
aspect of her diet. It wasn't until she sought help
(02:36):
from a nutritionist that she truly began to heal and reclaim
her life. Amanda is here to open up about
what it's really like to live with orthorexia.
The moment she realised she needed to change and mindset
shifts that that ultimately sit here free.
If you've struggled with third control or body image, this
(02:59):
conversation is for you. Amanda, welcome to the Champion
Mindset Collective podcast. Happy to be here, thanks for
having me. Yeah.
So you're welcome. So tell us about orthorexia.
I've never heard of it. I've heard of anorexia, but
never orthorexia. Yeah.
Yeah, yeah. Tell us more about that.
(03:19):
It's really around control. So it's kind of like a severe
control around food. And that's really, that's really
what it is. So for me, it manifested in, I
had kind of like an, I've alwayshad an obsession around being
thin, you know, from a very young age, not really sure where
(03:41):
it came from, but some people say it kind of stems back to
childhood trauma and things likethat, like having something that
you could control. So you decide, right, I'm not
going to eat or I'm going to purge my fate or so yeah,
really. I had that anorexia when I was
younger, which I think we're going to go into and in another
(04:01):
question. But yeah, the orthorexia for me
was really just showed up in my life and being like severe
control over what I was eating with like an obsession to like
be losing weight and to be thin,to have like a particular body
shape and that kind of thing. So that's how it showed up for
me. Tell us about your journey with
(04:23):
anorexia. You mentioned that you you never
fully regained your a healthy relationship with food.
No how? How did that eventually turn
into orthorexia? Yeah.
So I from a young age had like, anorexia for quite a few years.
Like as a teen, I remember kind of being over like, my high
school years and, you know, things like just trying to like,
(04:45):
make an apple that lasts the whole day, like at school and
stuff like that. And I kept it under wraps.
You know, I would eat a little bit of like, food at meal times
and stuff at home. So it wasn't really widely known
in my family that I had it. And it wasn't really until.
And I had like severe like body dysmorphia, like I was tiny.
(05:07):
It was only like a size like 8 to 10.
And, but in my mind I was like huge.
And I, I remember it being kind of addict's worse when I was at
college when I used to sort of walk into the college canteen
and just in my head, like everyone's looking at me
thinking, wow, she's so huge. You know, when the reality was I
(05:27):
was very slim and I was sporty as well.
I did lots of sport and things like that.
So it wasn't really until I sortof had look like my first
boyfriend and he kind of really helped me with that understand
that like no, like you look great, like you're attractive
and all that kind of thing. And so I kind of got it under
(05:48):
control a little bit, but I never really had a healthy
relationship with food until I kind of got over and orthorexia.
So it really sort of, I guess itorthorexia was with me really
pro site anorexia, like really up until kind of like around
like my late 30s and and I always just had this thing about
(06:08):
like got to lose weight, got to be thin and I got quite egg.
Well was, well, I'm probably about 560 now, but you know,
like I became got to sort some sort of 16 in my 30s.
Most women will understand it. It's pretty hard to keep the
weight off, you know, but you know, like, and just a lack of
(06:29):
time to exercise and stuff. But like I've actually gotten to
the point where I was like, right, I'm just going to fully
embrace like having more curves,being more womanly.
And I started buying dresses because high, High Street
dresses that like they're not, they're not made for like Herbie
women. So I started going to like Isla
Marie and like stiffly she and stuff like that to dress the
(06:52):
clothes that were made for curvywomen.
I started to feel really good inmy clothes.
And then I thought, right, OK, again, the authority said kind
of came back and I was like, right, I'm gonna like, control
everything that I'm eating. And it got so bad that a point
where I had like, a, like a board up in my room that had
like a list of roles. And it must have had about 12
(07:12):
different roles of like, things I could and couldn't do.
And every time I had a trait, solike a sausage roll or like a
chocolate bar or something like that, I would write it on my
calendar. I would not allow myself to have
more than two cheat foods a week.
I was like obsessively like measuring myself with a tight
every week to see because I stopped weighing myself like
(07:36):
about a decade ago. So that was just too triggering.
But I'd like obsessively measuremyself Like where has it come
off like? And it was just a nightmare.
It could completely controlled me.
Like food was no longer a joy. There is no longer any enjoyment
from food. It was just military.
It was just terrible. And then I got to the point
(07:58):
where I actually couldn't lose weight anymore.
And what I was doing was workingin those exercising heaps and
things. And then I went to see somebody
recommended, you know, one of those like the universe signpost
you somewhere. And I sort of had a conversation
with them reflexologists. And she said like, ohh, wow.
Like I just had this amazing situation.
(08:21):
She'd lost heaps of weight. And I was like, have you lost
all this weight? And she's like, ohh, I've been
to see Michelle. And so I was like, ohh, wow, she
sounds great. So I went to see.
So I booked him with her actually with a view to like get
her to help her lose weight. And then the first session that
we had, she said, no, this is not what we're doing.
(08:41):
Like we need to sort your mindset out.
And she found out about all these rules and she actually
educated me that I hadn't eatingdisorder and, and that's where
we went from there, basically. So you're pretty strict rules
and you tracked everything that you were eating, right?
Did you describe to us what yourtypical day look like at the
(09:03):
time? Very so strict on like what I
would be eating. And it was also like like an
obsession with it's got to be like really healthy as well.
So I'm trying to eat kind of like organic or I might be going
through juicing phase or a fasting phase depending on kind
of like what obsession I had with the food at the time.
(09:24):
And you know, like 111 time, I sort of just juiced for like 7
days to try and like shrink downand you know, so I'd have like
little bursts of doing like little random things to try and
lose weight. But a typical day would be like
3 square meals, um, with like 2 snacks and then measuring any,
(09:45):
any snacks that I had, like justmaking a note of them.
And the list of rules that I hadwould be I'd like to drink lots
of water And I can't remember them more now.
I think I've blocked them all out, but it would be things
like, yeah, just like all these healthy roles for me to follow
and, and whether I had like a take away or something like that
(10:08):
or, you know, all these different things that I'd have
to follow. If I can't remember the mall
now, I feel blocked it all out because it was about, it was
probably when I was at the worstwith the list.
Um, was probably about six yearsago now.
So I've done a lot of work and I've, I've blocked all of that
out really. But like I I remember having a
(10:29):
list of about 12 rules. Yeah, so when you when you went
to that Lady to get help and you, you asked for to be able to
lose weight and she said no, we're not doing this.
And what what was your initial response?
And. I was like, no, no, I'm coming
to you to like, you know, you'regoing to help me lose weight.
(10:50):
And she's like, look, we, you, you will find your natural
weight at the end of this, but we've got a lot of work to go
through before you go there. And you need to accept yourself
and love yourself the way that you are without this obsession
on food. And you, we actually need to fix
(11:12):
your relationship with food so that becomes healthy.
And then as a result of that, you will find your natural
weight because you will no longer be, you know, using food.
And I really liked how she used to say that.
She used to say, like, how are you using food?
Like, what are you using it for?So, you know, if you're
thinking, you know, cause I, I will offer and, and I still have
(11:34):
to have control over this now, like go to food for everything.
So if I'm down, I wanna eat something nice.
Like the only time. And the adverse thing happens.
Like if I go through a big period of stress, like I can't
eat. I think that's quite common for
everyone. But like food is like my comfort
space, you know, if I've had a bad day or like if I'm bored or
(11:56):
whatever, it's like, it's alwaysfood.
So like Michelle taught me to understand what was I using it
for? What was I looking to get out
food and then try and find healthier ways to get that.
So replacing that, reaching out for food for something more
healthy like going for a walk orhaving a cup of tea or having a
(12:17):
bath or so we went through lots of exercises to find out what
brings me joy and you know, whatfeels my cut and do more of
that. And so that I'm not going to
food because it's like Michelle says, you know, if you want a
sausage roll, have a sausage roll.
But if you have a sausage roll everyday you're going to be
putting and so on. So she just really helped me
(12:39):
look at food in different ways so that I, I had became a
healthy relationship with food. But also the big thing that we
had to sort was me loving my body.
And that was really where the positive energy had to go
because that was really hard. That was the worst thing about
it all, really. Nothing like how much I was
(12:59):
hating on my body, how much I was being really unkind to
myself. And that was the shift that I
had to go through that actually unlocked having a better
relationship with food. And ironically, like she was,
well, not ironically, she was right, like at the end of our
journey together. And I did find my natural
(13:20):
weight, which is kind of like 14to 16, you know, And you know, I
just think my body's just such amiracle now for everything that
it can do. I'm so grateful for it.
And I don't, and I can genuinelysay like, I don't hate my body.
I do still always have to be really careful because like if
I'm going through like things inmy life, like sometimes I do go
(13:44):
through periods where like I want to eat too much less that
unhealthy and I'll just have to try and keep it under control
because I'm a classic. Like you are what you eat.
Like if I'm eating those cakes, then I'm huge, you know?
Like I just can't do it. Yeah.
So through that process of working with that Lady, sorry, I
(14:05):
forgot her name, what was her? Name Michelle.
Michelle And so working with Michelle did did you discover at
what point in time in your life did you, you know, kind of like
not like not love yourself as much or stop loving yourself?
Ohh, I think it was always just there.
(14:26):
Like I think if anyone watched their the the podcast before and
I think I touched on it, but I can't remember having to touch
on it now, but I had a like a really abusive childhood and I
think it came from that. I think it really is like, it's
like the way that Michelle explained it to me was that, you
(14:47):
know, food became like the one thing that I could control that
I had control over. So I think somewhere along the
lines just got like really quitedistorted.
Hmm. Yeah, yeah.
So one thing, I could take ownership of that, you know,
which is kind of a strange thing, but I think I think she's
right. I think that was because I like,
when I look back and I really think right down to my youngest
(15:11):
age, I had issues with food because in our household as
well, all of the treat food, thechocolates, the biscuits and
stuff that was locked away in a cabinet in our house growing up.
And I was only like, had to go. And I can remember being really
young and like going and findingthe key always would find it Kay
(15:32):
and I would go and open up the thing and I would just binge
eating because I, you know, I wasn't allowed it, you know.
So I think treat food became kind of almost like it a naughty
guilty pleasure or something as well.
So I think I can remember reallyabout 3 young age, I always
having like issues with food. And yeah, but it only became
(15:55):
apparent when, like, I really hit my 20s and like, hormones
change and I started to like, put on wakes up until then, I
was like super skinny even though I thought I was huge.
But then I did actually start toput on my promise.
And that was when it all kind offell apart then because it was
like became this control thing of like, you know,
unrealistically not wanting to have any fat on you, which is
(16:17):
just Ludacris because we need you know.
The point that that you sort of was with the warning signs and
that you recognise that something wasn't right.
Good question. I think when I, when I got into
a relationship with, you know, my first love type thing when I
(16:40):
was younger, that was about 17 then then I realised that I had
a strange like view of my body and relationship with food.
So probably around 17 I realisedthat, yeah.
Yeah, and reaching out for help is often reaching out for help
is quite, quite daunting. And and you know, it's it's
(17:05):
hard, right? Yeah.
Did you feel some resistance andchanging your habits?
Ohh yeah. I mean, I mean, I didn't
actually reach out for help at all, did I?
I mean, like, I didn't even really recognise that I had a
problem until someone pointed itout to me, you know, in my late
30s. So yeah, reaching out for help
(17:27):
is difficult because you're kindof, like, stuck in your own head
over it. You just have this relationship
with yourself where you're talking to yourself about it and
it's all really negative and youdon't share it with other
people. You know, you just comparing
yourself to other people all thetime and and you're in this
light constant like battle with like negativity within yourself
(17:50):
about it and it's not really something that you would
probably share with people. Yeah.
And they would for you, there would have been a time where you
came to the realisation that hey, you, are you on this
negative loop, right? And and you wanted to and then
you came, came to the realisation that it's time to
(18:11):
change your thoughts and from from the negative to positive
thoughts. Right.
Yeah, that was like one of the homework that like Michelle sent
me. So Michelle sort of sent me away
with a load of actions to do. So like being more mindful when
you're eating was one of them. So like, slow down.
Like don't eat in front of the telly.
Enjoy your food. Think about it nourishing you.
(18:33):
Think about the choices that youmake with the food.
Like, is this nourishing me? Like why do I want this?
Why am I eating this? She also brought in a load of
things around like your younger self as well.
Like, so you're younger rebellious self and things like
that wasn't interesting. Like who's showing up to the
dinner table basically, um, is it your, you know, you're very
(18:54):
young self that's been abused. Is it your teenage self, it's
rebellious or is it the adult self and bring the adult self to
the table. Also helped me to do lots of
things like don't eat when you're upset, don't eat when
you're stressed. Because like, and she helped me
to do lots of things around improving my metabolism, which
is, you know, has been a game changer really in terms of like
(19:17):
movement and stuff like that. But the, the, the negative
thought thing was massive for mebecause she sent me away and she
said I want every single time you have a negative thought that
bubbles up within you to recognise where it's coming
from. Like is it coming from your
head? Is it coming from like your
heart? Is it coming from your gut?
(19:39):
And what is it? And I want you to start writing
these down. So for the first cause I saw her
quite like really regularly. So like for the first week I had
to go away and I had to write down all these things that were
kind of bubbling up subconsciously that I wasn't
even really aware of. But I was so shocked.
Like it wasn't even like 1 an hour.
It was like like 4 negative thoughts and hour.
(20:02):
Like I hate falling. Like I feel so fat like ohh.
Fat rolls and like I don't look nice stress like how am I gonna
like cover up my tummy? You know, like all of these like
negative thoughts. I had to write the mall down and
I remember just being in tears in that first week just like,
wow, like this is so roll like I'm being so unkind to myself.
(20:24):
And that was like the realisation.
So I wrote them all down and then and then the next session I
went back and I shared them all with Michelle and we work
through them all like where theywere coming from and stuff.
And then each time something would bubble up within me.
What I would do was sounds a bitstrange, but I would think about
transferring that energy into something positive to say.
(20:45):
Like something would bubble up within me.
So like I hate my body, I look gross, something like that.
I would say I would use that energy and almost pull it out of
myself, like put it over there and be like and replace it with
like a positive thought. Like, no, I look great.
No, I'm a beautiful curvy woman.I have a great healthy body.
My body's miraculous and what itdoes.
(21:07):
And I would usually, and at first it was really unnatural,
you know, and I had to force myself and I would say it out
loud. And Michelle also did a lot of
work with me about standing in front of the mirror, like also
undressed and dress and, and really accepting how I was.
(21:29):
And instead of looking for the problem areas, which we all do
as women, we don't like to look at our problem areas, actually
look at it and be like, no, thisis natural.
This is completely normal. And everyone has a different
shape. So in those earlier times, there
was a lot of that. There was a lot of retraining my
relationship that had with myself and my body.
(21:50):
And it did take quite a while, but eventually, you know, the
negative thoughts start to slow down and you become really
mindful of them and you start toreplace them with like, positive
affirmations by yourself. And I'd highly recommend that to
anyone going through any problems with body dismorphia
or, or, or any eating disorders or anyone that just doesn't like
(22:11):
their body, you know? Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, the, the power of reframing I thought is is huge.
And you know, in the cognitive behaviour therapy they used the
three C method, which is catch your thought, check your
thought, change your thought. And also, if you listen to
people like Doctor Jodie Spencer, he often talks about
(22:33):
how our thoughts, our emotions and actions create our current
reality. And so if we're always thinking
that this is who we are, then then that's who we're going to
feel that emotion. And that's the reality we're
going to create because the action we're going to take is
going to be an coming from a negative place rather than a
(22:54):
positive place. And, and as you mentioned
before, our bodies are amazing, like what our bodies actually
do, right? And, and really, when we think
about it, we abuse our bodies somuch, you know, and, and you
know, if we actually, as the saying is, our body is a temple,
if we actually treated our body as a temple, like if we were
(23:17):
walking into the House of God ora temple or something like that,
we would be respectful. But often with our bodies, we're
not. And, and it's, it's, it's
amazing how like the way we treat ourselves as to how we
treat other things or people. And.
(23:39):
Yeah, and it comes down to taking responsibility, right?
Yeah, respect and kindness to your body as.
Well, yeah. Any aha moments for you during
that journey? Ohh, lots that there were lots.
I think that was a big aha moment was just becoming aware
(24:01):
of the negative thoughts and howlike that's actually being
unkind. And I think like Michelle used
to say, you know, if you had a child, would you speak to your
child like that? Would you say that those sorts
of things? And that really helped me to
sort of think that like about how I spoke to myself.
(24:21):
That was probably the biggest aha moment for me.
And then as I kind of went through the journey, it was
really interesting how so detaching myself from the
negative habits that I've had and it just really freed me up
to enjoy food. And I think like that was the
best moment of all of them was like this kind of like when you
(24:42):
give up smoking and it doesn't have a controller over you
anymore, you're free of it, you know, or when you give up
something negative in your life,Like I just felt free all of a
sudden and nothing had a hold onme.
And I just felt like invincible because I think it almost become
like a propensity for me. Like, so you can become a
propensity and, you know, propensities are heavy and they
(25:06):
stand between you and the light.And I didn't want that.
And when I became aware that I had this thing that was like
standing between me and the liar, I thought, this is
ridiculous. You know, like I'm here in this
earthly body. This my earthly body is
incredibly important to be healthy because it's going to
take me through the spiritual journey.
And I need to look after it, respect it, take care of it, But
(25:30):
I don't need to obsess about it.You know, this is just an
earthly shell, you know? And if, you know, somebody's
going to love me, you know, the future or like I'm gonna have a
partner in the future, they're gonna love me for the person
that I am now and how I look. They're not going to be, you
know, with me because I've got like a size 8 body, you know,
(25:52):
and I'm like, I won't have like,I'll have like the salad
dressing on the side, please, you know, like, you know, that's
not me. So just embrace who I am.
I think that was the biggest moment for me is it's like,
yeah, I'm not, I'm not like a skinny, skinny woman like that.
So what? There's loads of women now have
all different shapes and sizes, all beautiful, you know?
(26:13):
Hmm. Yeah, yeah.
So, you know, like your mindset would have been impacted like
growing up and at what point in your life did you really start
having a more of a health healthy mindset that supported
your, you know, yourself about 38?
(26:35):
Yeah, okay. And yeah, and what are some of
the? Are also guilty like I always
felt guilty if I would like havea take away I would like enjoy
it in the moment. Always felt guilty like.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah, and guilt is a is a low vibration, right?
(26:57):
Yeah, yeah, so, so loving yourself and saying hey, I'm,
I'm, I'm just great the way I amand it's okay to have a snack,
but just don't overdo, alright? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah alright, enjoy your take out on a Friday night.
Just make sure you go for a walkon the weekend and you're active
(27:18):
over the weekend and you don't do it like every night of the
week. You know, once a.
Week yeah did did you like with that mindset did you change the
your diet or the food that you were eating did you like did you
you know sort of start loving different food and.
(27:40):
Once I was, I read yeah, yeah. I have a much different
relationship with food now, likejust a really healthy 1.
I think about why I want something.
Like if I'm craving cake or something really bad, I think
you know what's going on. So I like check in with my
thoughts because it's kind of like when I start like wanting
(28:01):
something like really like yummy, it's normally because
there's something a little bit amiss within me.
So like but then if I still wantcake after like 4 days, like I
have right, you know, like I'm like okay, this is just about
the cake. Like this is fine.
Like I'll have like a piece of cake and then but have a much
(28:25):
more balanced and yeah. I mean, if you're having, if you
having cake everyday, then that's, that's, that's going to
be a pattern that you're gonna start to go, well, what's going
on here, right? But if you're having cake once
once in a while, that's okay. Yeah, but I like really like
healthy relationship food. Now I have like, you know, 3
(28:45):
square meals a day and have healthy snacks and I don't feel
guilty about food. And you know, I just make sure
that I don't eat like those of bakery goods too much.
And you know, like I have a takeout once every couple of weeks
or something like fish love fishand chips.
So, you know, I have that. I just, you know, I think I'm
(29:06):
just eat more healthy now, but I'm not making more conscious
decisions. Like it's not subconscious
eating. I'm not like grabbing food to to
like comfort eat anymore. And if I find myself going into
that, like wanting to come for me, I just checked myself and
say, okay, right, what's going on?
And there's normally something going on in my life that were
(29:28):
bit stressed out about. So it's like, OK, let's fix that
stress and then, you know, yeah.Yeah, yeah.
And so people who are listening to this today might be going,
well, how do I even start with affirmations?
And how do I create, how do I create affirmations to support
my? What are some of your most
(29:48):
powerful affirmations or mindsetshifts that have helped you
transform your relationship withfood?
Um, I love my body. My body is an amazing, you know,
like what, what was it like what, what I think what our
bodies are really, but they're just, they do so much automatic
(30:10):
stuff, like they're so intelligent.
They know exactly what they're doing.
And so my body's like, wonderful.
It's amazing, especially I thinklike women that have had a
child, you know, like you've grown a human.
It's just like, wow. And you know, you have so much
respect for your body. Suggest those sorts of things as
(30:31):
all all around and around sort of like, you know, I'm a
beautiful curvy woman and I'm completely natural the way that
I am. Like everybody's different.
And, you know, those are some ofthe positive affirmations that I
really like used regularly and would often say to myself, my
body's perfect the way that it is.
(30:53):
You know, I'm healthy. I'm so grateful to have a
healthy body that functions really well.
You know, gratitude, like gratitude is really important
and those who really like the positive affirmations and then
it just like really grabbing those negative thoughts and
being like, no, that's not true.And then saying something more
(31:14):
positive. When you have those negative
thoughts come up, like have theyhave they been generally
something that's specifically something that's that's gone
back to your childhood or you know, has it been something
that's that's been coming up more, more like regularly?
(31:35):
Luckily don't have the negative thoughts anymore since I went
through the exercise of retraining myself and they just
don't bubble up. They're just not there anymore.
I just killed them off, you know, Yes, I would probably like
to be slimmer than I am that it doesn't dominate me or control
(31:58):
me anymore. And I don't obsess over it.
Like what what I do is I just dowhat I can.
There's in my remit of control. So I try to exercise, try to
walk, try to make positive choices.
And you know, I just try and keep that and, and be mindful
around like eating like Michellesaid, like and donating stress.
(32:18):
Don't even you're upset. Things like that, like calm down
because we need oxygen to digestour food.
So taking a breath between each mouthful helps them.
Tabloidism or eating, slowing down, cheering really well.
That all helps the brain to understand like we're eating
like, so it's just like slowing everything down.
(32:39):
I think I was always in a rush before rush, rush, rush of
fresh, you know, like, and so just slowing my life down, it's
really helped, I think. I was reading the the power of
now and there, you know, you like it totally talks about how
being present with even when you're eating and and tasting
(32:59):
every every bite and feeling that the sensation in your mouth
and and you know, and that's that's where you become present
and that stops you from from going into the future fear,
which is anxiety and and so one of the things.
For me on the go, like they likethey, they think we're really
(33:19):
weird that we're like walk around eating because they sit
down and eat and savour their food.
That's what we should do. Yeah, I think we just get so
busy in the in for the psycho getting busy and and we don't
really spend quality time in theprison and being present with
(33:43):
with a third all people. And because we're just on the
go, go, go. And sometimes, sometimes I think
I feel like we'll be, we'll be really what would benefit us as
to slow down and just go with the live with flow in our lives,
right, Rather than going againstit.
(34:05):
So we're constantly trying to, you know, go do things and try
and force things when we can just let it flow and just be
right. Yeah.
So if someone is listening to this episode right now and they
and they realise that they may be struggling with orthorexia,
(34:25):
what would you say to them? Go and get help, you know, find.
I mean, like the lady that I used was absolutely amazing.
Her name's Michelle Sage and she's based on the Shore, so I'd
highly recommend her. Yeah, go and speak to somebody
that understands healthy relationships with food and make
(34:47):
a choice that you don't want to be controlled by food anymore or
you don't want your behaviour with food to control you.
And, and you know, yeah, I thinkrecognition is the key.
So admitting like, yeah, I don'thave a good relationship with
food and I want to have a betterrelationship with food.
Start there and get some help because you can't really do it
(35:10):
on your own. You do need to have some an
expert holding your hand throughit and taking you through the
process. It's kind of like with healing,
you know, when I'm working on someone's body, like I am
working on their body, like we're kind of like a circuit and
then I step away and energy is released through me.
(35:30):
So like you need that, like you need that other person to help
you break your cycles. So and they will give you a
fresh pair of eyes and, and justgo easy on yourself as well.
Like I think like again, it's about like self love.
It's about looking after yourself and doing the right
thing for you. So don't beat yourself up about
(35:52):
it. Don't have any judgement on
yourself, just, um, go into it with the, with the view that
like I, I want to have a healthyrelationship with food and I
want to be free of control. Like, and I think that's the
same for like, kind of like anorexia, bulimia and all of the
other eating disorders. I've, I've met a lot of people
(36:13):
with those disorders as well. I think a lot of it is it is
control, its mindset, it is potentially childhood trauma,
you know, so I think everything needs to be looked at
holistically and it's a journey and it and, and you know, and I,
I luckily haven't fallen back into old habits, but I guess if
(36:34):
you do, like don't worry about yourself.
Just have your have your coping mechanisms that you go to like
your affirmations or you know, you know, recognise it triggers
and you know, and stop yourself before you go down that rabbit
hole. You know, and and use yourself
because essentially what it is is an eating disorder is you're
(36:57):
abusing your body food basically.
Hmm, have any small steps or mindset chefs that people can
start to start with to regain their control over their health
and the positive way? Um, what are you using food for?
Are you using food rather than eating food?
(37:19):
Like food should just nourish you.
Like, what is food to you? That's a good question to ask
yourself. Like what?
What does food give me? Because that only answer to that
should be yes, enjoyment, because we could all sit down
and enjoy a lovely meal, especially a lovely healthy
meal. But food should be like
nourishment, you know, it shouldbe like a joyous thing to do.
(37:43):
It shouldn't be like punishment.It shouldn't be guilt.
It shouldn't be, you know, try to give you an emotional boost
and you know it. Food for me now isn't is
nourishment, you know, and enjoyment with friends and
family. You know, I think, I think
that's a good question to sit down and ask yourself, like what
(38:05):
am I getting out of food and is not good?
Yeah, yeah, absolutely. And for those who have loved, so
those who have a loved one who'sgoing through this, what's the
best way to support that person and with without making them
(38:26):
feel judged or pressured? It's really difficult with
anorexia and, and all the different, you know, orthorexia
because it's so personal and I think in the loved ones and the
far now of people that are experiencing this and you've got
to understand that that person is in their own head about it.
(38:49):
So I really honestly think that they have, you have to have like
specialist help with it because I think the recognition needs to
come from them. If you sort of say to someone,
you know, ohh, you know, you're not looking great or I've
noticed this, it probably could potentially make it worse.
(39:10):
So I think those kind of like interventions and and things
like can make it worse. But I think it's tread carefully
with it, but definitely say, youknow, hey, I've noticed that.
And you know, like maybe your relationship with food is, it's,
it's a real tricky one, but likesomehow get them to maybe open
(39:33):
up and talk about it like hell. Why, why do you do that?
Like, or why did you say that? I guess if you, if you catch
them saying something negative, that's probably the best thing
to do is like, if you catch themsaying like something negative
about themselves, then you can say, no, not at all.
You know, like, why did you say that and get maybe them to open
(39:54):
apple. Why do you think that?
And get them to admit to you that they're having like
negative thoughts. They've got a negative
relationship with food. And then you can suggest, I
think you should get some help, like have you thought about, you
know, seeing somebody about yourrelationship with food?
And that's probably the best wayto go around because I think if
you say like, hey, like you're looking really thin or you're
(40:14):
not looking well, or I've noticed that you're Bingy
saying, or I've noticed that, you know, like, that probably
adds to the problem. Hmm.
And are you currently like helping people, supporting
people in this area or was guiding?
People, not really I I saw a fewpeople in my this is actually
(40:36):
the only time I've ever talked about it with you out in the
public domain. Like yeah, it's not something
that I share on the regular at all.
It's very personal to me and I did see a couple of people with
eating disorders when I was working in my clinic, but it
(40:56):
was, it was too triggering for me.
It's yeah, it's not something I feel like equipped to deal with
it. I'm really honestly think it has
to be like someone that is a professional that is trained in
this, that can cope with the emotions of it because like, I
found it difficult because a lotof you know, I found it very sad
(41:22):
dealing with those people and and, and like, looking back on
that time, I was so pleased thatI'm free of it.
And it's just it's not part of my life anymore.
So it's not something that I feel equipped to deal with.
You know, I'm happy to share my story.
But yeah, like, yeah, only time talked about it in the in the
public you. Know well thank you for sharing
(41:44):
your story because you know thiswill help people and and for
them to know that they're not the they're not alone and there
are other people have gone through this and they can also
they can also take the right steps by connecting with the
professional and help and help themselves right and.
You're really not alone. I mean, lots of women struggle
(42:05):
with this. I mean, I don't know, like many
women that sort of talk openly about it.
I don't know, many women don't be like, yeah, my body's
absolutely perfect and I love it.
You know, like there's always some problem areas that we have.
But it's I think it's about accepting that we're perfect the
way that we are. Yes, there may be like healthy
tweaks that we need to make, exercise and healthy eating.
(42:25):
There's always a good thing for like our bodies, but and I think
it's really important that to realise that, you know, you're
not alone. Like there's lots of women that
are going through varying stagesof this, even even women that
don't and men I guess like that don't have eating disorders.
(42:47):
Like probably a lot of people struggle with food in some ways.
Yeah. And in this particular area, has
there been anyone that's inspired you and, and, and how
anorexia that was, um, orthorexia and these sort of
(43:07):
disorders as anyone that you've looked up to there or any books
that you've read that you could recommend?
I think it really is just Michelle to be honest, because
Michelle went through her own journey with this as well.
And Shell shared, I don't think she particularly had orthorexia,
but she went through her own journey that she shared with me.
I think her journey's even on her website and it was her like
(43:30):
she inspired me because I lookedat a woman who okay, well she's
comfort the other end and she isis great now she's doing
amazing. So she was my biggest
inspiration in all of this. Yeah.
Umm, and if you, if you could goback to your younger self right
now, what would you have said tothat to your younger?
(43:51):
Self, yeah, you're like, you're perfect the way that you are.
You're beautiful, but you're theway that you are.
And beauty is a holistic thing. You know, it's about the person
that you are, the spiritual being that you are.
You're going to go through your life and you're gonna like go up
and down and you might be skinnyand really fit for a phase and
then you might put on a little bit of weight and like that's
(44:13):
normal and that's okay. Might just be healthy.
Focus on health. Health is wealth.
That's probably my younger self.And what is one last message
that you'd like to share with the world?
Don't compare yourself with others, you know, like you know
that that Lady that you see jogging down the road like
(44:34):
looks, looks amazing and doesn'thave any Cellulite and whatever.
Like that's her journey, you know, and you are you and you,
you're perfect the way that you are.
And it's more, what's more important is to look after your
body, being that it is a really precious instrument to take you
through the spiritual journey that you're having.
And, and yeah, that's probably what I would share.
(44:56):
Umm. Awesome, thank you so much
Amanda for sharing your story and your journey with us.
It's it's been really amazing. It's incredibly, incredibly
inspiring and I know that it's going to resonate with many of
the people who are going to listen or watch this episode and
(45:16):
the people that are struggling with their relationship with
food. So thank you so much and
honestly if for your honesty andsharing what you, what you know,
the difficult journey that you've been through and you've
got the strength through that journey.
Right and. Freedom, freedom when we go
through these things, we, we, webuild the strength and we build
the freedom. And so for those who are
(45:38):
listening, if Manda story has resonated with you, please know
that you're not alone and there is support out there and healing
as possible. So reach out to Michelle stage
and I will I will find her details and add that to the to
the show notes as well. So, and if someone really wanted
(46:02):
to just come and have a chat with you, is that is that okay?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. You just find me on LinkedIn,
Yeah. So thank you so much for for
your time and I really appreciate it and what's your
shit is amazing. And thank you all for listening
to this episode. And Please remember to share
(46:24):
this episode with someone who may benefit from from what
Amanda has shared. And please subscribe and follow
this podcast so they don't miss future episodes and we can get
it out to the wider world. Your support and subscribing and
following helps us grow this podcast and to be able to bring
(46:44):
more episodes that are going to help you on your journey.
So until next time, just know that you are loved, know that
you're worthy. Champion your life, champion
your greatness, and stay strong.Stay mindful.
Remember that your mindset is the greatest tool for change.
Have an amazing day.
But I had a like a really abusive childhood.
Food became like the one thing that I could control, that I had
control over. I think somewhere along the
lines that just got like really quite distorted in our household
as well. All of the treat food, the
chocolates, the biscuits and stuff that was locked away in a
cabinet always would find the key and I would go and open up
(00:24):
the thing and I would just bingeJake because I, you know, I
wasn't allowed. So for the first because I saw
her quite like really regularly.So like in the first week I had
to go away and I had to wipe down all these things that were
kind of bubbling up subconsciously that I wasn't
even really aware of. But I was so shocked.
Like it wasn't even like 1 an hour.
It was like 4 negative thoughts an hour.
(00:46):
Itive thought things massive forme because she sent me away and
she said I want every single time you have a negative thought
that bubbles up within you to recognise where it's coming
from. Like is it coming from your
head? Is it coming from like your
heart? Is it coming from your gut?
And what is it? And I want you to start writing
(01:06):
these down. That would often say to myself,
my body's perfect the way that it is now.
I seem like how much I was beingreally unkind to myself.
And that was the shift. But I had to go through that
actually unlocked having a better relationship with food.
You know, I'm healthy. I'm so grateful to have a
healthy body that functions really well.
(01:26):
You know, gratitude. Gratitude is really important.
Welcome to the champion music collective podcast.
I'm yours Anthony Dyer. I'm so grateful that you're here
watching or listening to this episode.
Would love for you to share thisepisode with your friends, your
family, and your work mates. And don't forget to subscribe or
follow. Today's podcast is about a
struggle with orthorexia, which is an eating disorder, and how
(01:50):
Amanda overcame it with the power of positive thinking.
Welcome. Today, we're in this powerful
and deeply personal conversationwith Amanda Law, who is here to
share her journey of overcoming orthorexia.
It's an eating disorder that often goes unnoticed but can
have a significant impact on mental and physical wellbeing.
(02:13):
Amanda's story is of resilience,self discovery and the power of
positive mindset. She battled anorexia as a
teenager, only to later find herself trapped in orthorexia, A
relentless obsession with eatingclean and controlling every
aspect of her diet. It wasn't until she sought help
(02:36):
from a nutritionist that she truly began to heal and reclaim
her life. Amanda is here to open up about
what it's really like to live with orthorexia.
The moment she realised she needed to change and mindset
shifts that that ultimately sit here free.
If you've struggled with third control or body image, this
(02:59):
conversation is for you. Amanda, welcome to the Champion
Mindset Collective podcast. Happy to be here, thanks for
having me. Yeah.
So you're welcome. So tell us about orthorexia.
I've never heard of it. I've heard of anorexia, but
never orthorexia. Yeah.
Yeah, yeah. Tell us more about that.
(03:19):
It's really around control. So it's kind of like a severe
control around food. And that's really, that's really
what it is. So for me, it manifested in, I
had kind of like an, I've alwayshad an obsession around being
thin, you know, from a very young age, not really sure where
(03:41):
it came from, but some people say it kind of stems back to
childhood trauma and things likethat, like having something that
you could control. So you decide, right, I'm not
going to eat or I'm going to purge my fate or so yeah,
really. I had that anorexia when I was
younger, which I think we're going to go into and in another
(04:01):
question. But yeah, the orthorexia for me
was really just showed up in my life and being like severe
control over what I was eating with like an obsession to like
be losing weight and to be thin,to have like a particular body
shape and that kind of thing. So that's how it showed up for
me. Tell us about your journey with
(04:23):
anorexia. You mentioned that you you never
fully regained your a healthy relationship with food.
No how? How did that eventually turn
into orthorexia? Yeah.
So I from a young age had like, anorexia for quite a few years.
Like as a teen, I remember kind of being over like, my high
school years and, you know, things like just trying to like,
(04:45):
make an apple that lasts the whole day, like at school and
stuff like that. And I kept it under wraps.
You know, I would eat a little bit of like, food at meal times
and stuff at home. So it wasn't really widely known
in my family that I had it. And it wasn't really until.
And I had like severe like body dysmorphia, like I was tiny.
(05:07):
It was only like a size like 8 to 10.
And, but in my mind I was like huge.
And I, I remember it being kind of addict's worse when I was at
college when I used to sort of walk into the college canteen
and just in my head, like everyone's looking at me
thinking, wow, she's so huge. You know, when the reality was I
(05:27):
was very slim and I was sporty as well.
I did lots of sport and things like that.
So it wasn't really until I sortof had look like my first
boyfriend and he kind of really helped me with that understand
that like no, like you look great, like you're attractive
and all that kind of thing. And so I kind of got it under
(05:48):
control a little bit, but I never really had a healthy
relationship with food until I kind of got over and orthorexia.
So it really sort of, I guess itorthorexia was with me really
pro site anorexia, like really up until kind of like around
like my late 30s and and I always just had this thing about
(06:08):
like got to lose weight, got to be thin and I got quite egg.
Well was, well, I'm probably about 560 now, but you know,
like I became got to sort some sort of 16 in my 30s.
Most women will understand it. It's pretty hard to keep the
weight off, you know, but you know, like, and just a lack of
(06:29):
time to exercise and stuff. But like I've actually gotten to
the point where I was like, right, I'm just going to fully
embrace like having more curves,being more womanly.
And I started buying dresses because high, High Street
dresses that like they're not, they're not made for like Herbie
women. So I started going to like Isla
Marie and like stiffly she and stuff like that to dress the
(06:52):
clothes that were made for curvywomen.
I started to feel really good inmy clothes.
And then I thought, right, OK, again, the authority said kind
of came back and I was like, right, I'm gonna like, control
everything that I'm eating. And it got so bad that a point
where I had like, a, like a board up in my room that had
like a list of roles. And it must have had about 12
(07:12):
different roles of like, things I could and couldn't do.
And every time I had a trait, solike a sausage roll or like a
chocolate bar or something like that, I would write it on my
calendar. I would not allow myself to have
more than two cheat foods a week.
I was like obsessively like measuring myself with a tight
every week to see because I stopped weighing myself like
(07:36):
about a decade ago. So that was just too triggering.
But I'd like obsessively measuremyself Like where has it come
off like? And it was just a nightmare.
It could completely controlled me.
Like food was no longer a joy. There is no longer any enjoyment
from food. It was just military.
It was just terrible. And then I got to the point
(07:58):
where I actually couldn't lose weight anymore.
And what I was doing was workingin those exercising heaps and
things. And then I went to see somebody
recommended, you know, one of those like the universe signpost
you somewhere. And I sort of had a conversation
with them reflexologists. And she said like, ohh, wow.
Like I just had this amazing situation.
(08:21):
She'd lost heaps of weight. And I was like, have you lost
all this weight? And she's like, ohh, I've been
to see Michelle. And so I was like, ohh, wow, she
sounds great. So I went to see.
So I booked him with her actually with a view to like get
her to help her lose weight. And then the first session that
we had, she said, no, this is not what we're doing.
(08:41):
Like we need to sort your mindset out.
And she found out about all these rules and she actually
educated me that I hadn't eatingdisorder and, and that's where
we went from there, basically. So you're pretty strict rules
and you tracked everything that you were eating, right?
Did you describe to us what yourtypical day look like at the
(09:03):
time? Very so strict on like what I
would be eating. And it was also like like an
obsession with it's got to be like really healthy as well.
So I'm trying to eat kind of like organic or I might be going
through juicing phase or a fasting phase depending on kind
of like what obsession I had with the food at the time.
(09:24):
And you know, like 111 time, I sort of just juiced for like 7
days to try and like shrink downand you know, so I'd have like
little bursts of doing like little random things to try and
lose weight. But a typical day would be like
3 square meals, um, with like 2 snacks and then measuring any,
(09:45):
any snacks that I had, like justmaking a note of them.
And the list of rules that I hadwould be I'd like to drink lots
of water And I can't remember them more now.
I think I've blocked them all out, but it would be things
like, yeah, just like all these healthy roles for me to follow
and, and whether I had like a take away or something like that
(10:08):
or, you know, all these different things that I'd have
to follow. If I can't remember the mall
now, I feel blocked it all out because it was about, it was
probably when I was at the worstwith the list.
Um, was probably about six yearsago now.
So I've done a lot of work and I've, I've blocked all of that
out really. But like I I remember having a
(10:29):
list of about 12 rules. Yeah, so when you when you went
to that Lady to get help and you, you asked for to be able to
lose weight and she said no, we're not doing this.
And what what was your initial response?
And. I was like, no, no, I'm coming
to you to like, you know, you'regoing to help me lose weight.
(10:50):
And she's like, look, we, you, you will find your natural
weight at the end of this, but we've got a lot of work to go
through before you go there. And you need to accept yourself
and love yourself the way that you are without this obsession
on food. And you, we actually need to fix
(11:12):
your relationship with food so that becomes healthy.
And then as a result of that, you will find your natural
weight because you will no longer be, you know, using food.
And I really liked how she used to say that.
She used to say, like, how are you using food?
Like, what are you using it for?So, you know, if you're
thinking, you know, cause I, I will offer and, and I still have
(11:34):
to have control over this now, like go to food for everything.
So if I'm down, I wanna eat something nice.
Like the only time. And the adverse thing happens.
Like if I go through a big period of stress, like I can't
eat. I think that's quite common for
everyone. But like food is like my comfort
space, you know, if I've had a bad day or like if I'm bored or
(11:56):
whatever, it's like, it's alwaysfood.
So like Michelle taught me to understand what was I using it
for? What was I looking to get out
food and then try and find healthier ways to get that.
So replacing that, reaching out for food for something more
healthy like going for a walk orhaving a cup of tea or having a
(12:17):
bath or so we went through lots of exercises to find out what
brings me joy and you know, whatfeels my cut and do more of
that. And so that I'm not going to
food because it's like Michelle says, you know, if you want a
sausage roll, have a sausage roll.
But if you have a sausage roll everyday you're going to be
putting and so on. So she just really helped me
(12:39):
look at food in different ways so that I, I had became a
healthy relationship with food. But also the big thing that we
had to sort was me loving my body.
And that was really where the positive energy had to go
because that was really hard. That was the worst thing about
it all, really. Nothing like how much I was
(12:59):
hating on my body, how much I was being really unkind to
myself. And that was the shift that I
had to go through that actually unlocked having a better
relationship with food. And ironically, like she was,
well, not ironically, she was right, like at the end of our
journey together. And I did find my natural
(13:20):
weight, which is kind of like 14to 16, you know, And you know, I
just think my body's just such amiracle now for everything that
it can do. I'm so grateful for it.
And I don't, and I can genuinelysay like, I don't hate my body.
I do still always have to be really careful because like if
I'm going through like things inmy life, like sometimes I do go
(13:44):
through periods where like I want to eat too much less that
unhealthy and I'll just have to try and keep it under control
because I'm a classic. Like you are what you eat.
Like if I'm eating those cakes, then I'm huge, you know?
Like I just can't do it. Yeah.
So through that process of working with that Lady, sorry, I
(14:05):
forgot her name, what was her? Name Michelle.
Michelle And so working with Michelle did did you discover at
what point in time in your life did you, you know, kind of like
not like not love yourself as much or stop loving yourself?
Ohh, I think it was always just there.
(14:26):
Like I think if anyone watched their the the podcast before and
I think I touched on it, but I can't remember having to touch
on it now, but I had a like a really abusive childhood and I
think it came from that. I think it really is like, it's
like the way that Michelle explained it to me was that, you
(14:47):
know, food became like the one thing that I could control that
I had control over. So I think somewhere along the
lines just got like really quitedistorted.
Hmm. Yeah, yeah.
So one thing, I could take ownership of that, you know,
which is kind of a strange thing, but I think I think she's
right. I think that was because I like,
when I look back and I really think right down to my youngest
(15:11):
age, I had issues with food because in our household as
well, all of the treat food, thechocolates, the biscuits and
stuff that was locked away in a cabinet in our house growing up.
And I was only like, had to go. And I can remember being really
young and like going and findingthe key always would find it Kay
(15:32):
and I would go and open up the thing and I would just binge
eating because I, you know, I wasn't allowed it, you know.
So I think treat food became kind of almost like it a naughty
guilty pleasure or something as well.
So I think I can remember reallyabout 3 young age, I always
having like issues with food. And yeah, but it only became
(15:55):
apparent when, like, I really hit my 20s and like, hormones
change and I started to like, put on wakes up until then, I
was like super skinny even though I thought I was huge.
But then I did actually start toput on my promise.
And that was when it all kind offell apart then because it was
like became this control thing of like, you know,
unrealistically not wanting to have any fat on you, which is
(16:17):
just Ludacris because we need you know.
The point that that you sort of was with the warning signs and
that you recognise that something wasn't right.
Good question. I think when I, when I got into
a relationship with, you know, my first love type thing when I
(16:40):
was younger, that was about 17 then then I realised that I had
a strange like view of my body and relationship with food.
So probably around 17 I realisedthat, yeah.
Yeah, and reaching out for help is often reaching out for help
is quite, quite daunting. And and you know, it's it's
(17:05):
hard, right? Yeah.
Did you feel some resistance andchanging your habits?
Ohh yeah. I mean, I mean, I didn't
actually reach out for help at all, did I?
I mean, like, I didn't even really recognise that I had a
problem until someone pointed itout to me, you know, in my late
30s. So yeah, reaching out for help
(17:27):
is difficult because you're kindof, like, stuck in your own head
over it. You just have this relationship
with yourself where you're talking to yourself about it and
it's all really negative and youdon't share it with other
people. You know, you just comparing
yourself to other people all thetime and and you're in this
light constant like battle with like negativity within yourself
(17:50):
about it and it's not really something that you would
probably share with people. Yeah.
And they would for you, there would have been a time where you
came to the realisation that hey, you, are you on this
negative loop, right? And and you wanted to and then
you came, came to the realisation that it's time to
(18:11):
change your thoughts and from from the negative to positive
thoughts. Right.
Yeah, that was like one of the homework that like Michelle sent
me. So Michelle sort of sent me away
with a load of actions to do. So like being more mindful when
you're eating was one of them. So like, slow down.
Like don't eat in front of the telly.
Enjoy your food. Think about it nourishing you.
(18:33):
Think about the choices that youmake with the food.
Like, is this nourishing me? Like why do I want this?
Why am I eating this? She also brought in a load of
things around like your younger self as well.
Like, so you're younger rebellious self and things like
that wasn't interesting. Like who's showing up to the
dinner table basically, um, is it your, you know, you're very
(18:54):
young self that's been abused. Is it your teenage self, it's
rebellious or is it the adult self and bring the adult self to
the table. Also helped me to do lots of
things like don't eat when you're upset, don't eat when
you're stressed. Because like, and she helped me
to do lots of things around improving my metabolism, which
is, you know, has been a game changer really in terms of like
(19:17):
movement and stuff like that. But the, the, the negative
thought thing was massive for mebecause she sent me away and she
said I want every single time you have a negative thought that
bubbles up within you to recognise where it's coming
from. Like is it coming from your
head? Is it coming from like your
heart? Is it coming from your gut?
(19:39):
And what is it? And I want you to start writing
these down. So for the first cause I saw her
quite like really regularly. So like for the first week I had
to go away and I had to write down all these things that were
kind of bubbling up subconsciously that I wasn't
even really aware of. But I was so shocked.
Like it wasn't even like 1 an hour.
It was like like 4 negative thoughts and hour.
(20:02):
Like I hate falling. Like I feel so fat like ohh.
Fat rolls and like I don't look nice stress like how am I gonna
like cover up my tummy? You know, like all of these like
negative thoughts. I had to write the mall down and
I remember just being in tears in that first week just like,
wow, like this is so roll like I'm being so unkind to myself.
(20:24):
And that was like the realisation.
So I wrote them all down and then and then the next session I
went back and I shared them all with Michelle and we work
through them all like where theywere coming from and stuff.
And then each time something would bubble up within me.
What I would do was sounds a bitstrange, but I would think about
transferring that energy into something positive to say.
(20:45):
Like something would bubble up within me.
So like I hate my body, I look gross, something like that.
I would say I would use that energy and almost pull it out of
myself, like put it over there and be like and replace it with
like a positive thought. Like, no, I look great.
No, I'm a beautiful curvy woman.I have a great healthy body.
My body's miraculous and what itdoes.
(21:07):
And I would usually, and at first it was really unnatural,
you know, and I had to force myself and I would say it out
loud. And Michelle also did a lot of
work with me about standing in front of the mirror, like also
undressed and dress and, and really accepting how I was.
(21:29):
And instead of looking for the problem areas, which we all do
as women, we don't like to look at our problem areas, actually
look at it and be like, no, thisis natural.
This is completely normal. And everyone has a different
shape. So in those earlier times, there
was a lot of that. There was a lot of retraining my
relationship that had with myself and my body.
(21:50):
And it did take quite a while, but eventually, you know, the
negative thoughts start to slow down and you become really
mindful of them and you start toreplace them with like, positive
affirmations by yourself. And I'd highly recommend that to
anyone going through any problems with body dismorphia
or, or, or any eating disorders or anyone that just doesn't like
(22:11):
their body, you know? Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, the, the power of reframing I thought is is huge.
And you know, in the cognitive behaviour therapy they used the
three C method, which is catch your thought, check your
thought, change your thought. And also, if you listen to
people like Doctor Jodie Spencer, he often talks about
(22:33):
how our thoughts, our emotions and actions create our current
reality. And so if we're always thinking
that this is who we are, then then that's who we're going to
feel that emotion. And that's the reality we're
going to create because the action we're going to take is
going to be an coming from a negative place rather than a
(22:54):
positive place. And, and as you mentioned
before, our bodies are amazing, like what our bodies actually
do, right? And, and really, when we think
about it, we abuse our bodies somuch, you know, and, and you
know, if we actually, as the saying is, our body is a temple,
if we actually treated our body as a temple, like if we were
(23:17):
walking into the House of God ora temple or something like that,
we would be respectful. But often with our bodies, we're
not. And, and it's, it's, it's
amazing how like the way we treat ourselves as to how we
treat other things or people. And.
(23:39):
Yeah, and it comes down to taking responsibility, right?
Yeah, respect and kindness to your body as.
Well, yeah. Any aha moments for you during
that journey? Ohh, lots that there were lots.
I think that was a big aha moment was just becoming aware
(24:01):
of the negative thoughts and howlike that's actually being
unkind. And I think like Michelle used
to say, you know, if you had a child, would you speak to your
child like that? Would you say that those sorts
of things? And that really helped me to
sort of think that like about how I spoke to myself.
(24:21):
That was probably the biggest aha moment for me.
And then as I kind of went through the journey, it was
really interesting how so detaching myself from the
negative habits that I've had and it just really freed me up
to enjoy food. And I think like that was the
best moment of all of them was like this kind of like when you
(24:42):
give up smoking and it doesn't have a controller over you
anymore, you're free of it, you know, or when you give up
something negative in your life,Like I just felt free all of a
sudden and nothing had a hold onme.
And I just felt like invincible because I think it almost become
like a propensity for me. Like, so you can become a
propensity and, you know, propensities are heavy and they
(25:06):
stand between you and the light.And I didn't want that.
And when I became aware that I had this thing that was like
standing between me and the liar, I thought, this is
ridiculous. You know, like I'm here in this
earthly body. This my earthly body is
incredibly important to be healthy because it's going to
take me through the spiritual journey.
And I need to look after it, respect it, take care of it, But
(25:30):
I don't need to obsess about it.You know, this is just an
earthly shell, you know? And if, you know, somebody's
going to love me, you know, the future or like I'm gonna have a
partner in the future, they're gonna love me for the person
that I am now and how I look. They're not going to be, you
know, with me because I've got like a size 8 body, you know,
(25:52):
and I'm like, I won't have like,I'll have like the salad
dressing on the side, please, you know, like, you know, that's
not me. So just embrace who I am.
I think that was the biggest moment for me is it's like,
yeah, I'm not, I'm not like a skinny, skinny woman like that.
So what? There's loads of women now have
all different shapes and sizes, all beautiful, you know?
(26:13):
Hmm. Yeah, yeah.
So, you know, like your mindset would have been impacted like
growing up and at what point in your life did you really start
having a more of a health healthy mindset that supported
your, you know, yourself about 38?
(26:35):
Yeah, okay. And yeah, and what are some of
the? Are also guilty like I always
felt guilty if I would like havea take away I would like enjoy
it in the moment. Always felt guilty like.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah, and guilt is a is a low vibration, right?
(26:57):
Yeah, yeah, so, so loving yourself and saying hey, I'm,
I'm, I'm just great the way I amand it's okay to have a snack,
but just don't overdo, alright? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah alright, enjoy your take out on a Friday night.
Just make sure you go for a walkon the weekend and you're active
(27:18):
over the weekend and you don't do it like every night of the
week. You know, once a.
Week yeah did did you like with that mindset did you change the
your diet or the food that you were eating did you like did you
you know sort of start loving different food and.
(27:40):
Once I was, I read yeah, yeah. I have a much different
relationship with food now, likejust a really healthy 1.
I think about why I want something.
Like if I'm craving cake or something really bad, I think
you know what's going on. So I like check in with my
thoughts because it's kind of like when I start like wanting
(28:01):
something like really like yummy, it's normally because
there's something a little bit amiss within me.
So like but then if I still wantcake after like 4 days, like I
have right, you know, like I'm like okay, this is just about
the cake. Like this is fine.
Like I'll have like a piece of cake and then but have a much
(28:25):
more balanced and yeah. I mean, if you're having, if you
having cake everyday, then that's, that's, that's going to
be a pattern that you're gonna start to go, well, what's going
on here, right? But if you're having cake once
once in a while, that's okay. Yeah, but I like really like
healthy relationship food. Now I have like, you know, 3
(28:45):
square meals a day and have healthy snacks and I don't feel
guilty about food. And you know, I just make sure
that I don't eat like those of bakery goods too much.
And you know, like I have a takeout once every couple of weeks
or something like fish love fishand chips.
So, you know, I have that. I just, you know, I think I'm
(29:06):
just eat more healthy now, but I'm not making more conscious
decisions. Like it's not subconscious
eating. I'm not like grabbing food to to
like comfort eat anymore. And if I find myself going into
that, like wanting to come for me, I just checked myself and
say, okay, right, what's going on?
And there's normally something going on in my life that were
(29:28):
bit stressed out about. So it's like, OK, let's fix that
stress and then, you know, yeah.Yeah, yeah.
And so people who are listening to this today might be going,
well, how do I even start with affirmations?
And how do I create, how do I create affirmations to support
my? What are some of your most
(29:48):
powerful affirmations or mindsetshifts that have helped you
transform your relationship withfood?
Um, I love my body. My body is an amazing, you know,
like what, what was it like what, what I think what our
bodies are really, but they're just, they do so much automatic
(30:10):
stuff, like they're so intelligent.
They know exactly what they're doing.
And so my body's like, wonderful.
It's amazing, especially I thinklike women that have had a
child, you know, like you've grown a human.
It's just like, wow. And you know, you have so much
respect for your body. Suggest those sorts of things as
(30:31):
all all around and around sort of like, you know, I'm a
beautiful curvy woman and I'm completely natural the way that
I am. Like everybody's different.
And, you know, those are some ofthe positive affirmations that I
really like used regularly and would often say to myself, my
body's perfect the way that it is.
(30:53):
You know, I'm healthy. I'm so grateful to have a
healthy body that functions really well.
You know, gratitude, like gratitude is really important
and those who really like the positive affirmations and then
it just like really grabbing those negative thoughts and
being like, no, that's not true.And then saying something more
(31:14):
positive. When you have those negative
thoughts come up, like have theyhave they been generally
something that's specifically something that's that's gone
back to your childhood or you know, has it been something
that's that's been coming up more, more like regularly?
(31:35):
Luckily don't have the negative thoughts anymore since I went
through the exercise of retraining myself and they just
don't bubble up. They're just not there anymore.
I just killed them off, you know, Yes, I would probably like
to be slimmer than I am that it doesn't dominate me or control
(31:58):
me anymore. And I don't obsess over it.
Like what what I do is I just dowhat I can.
There's in my remit of control. So I try to exercise, try to
walk, try to make positive choices.
And you know, I just try and keep that and, and be mindful
around like eating like Michellesaid, like and donating stress.
(32:18):
Don't even you're upset. Things like that, like calm down
because we need oxygen to digestour food.
So taking a breath between each mouthful helps them.
Tabloidism or eating, slowing down, cheering really well.
That all helps the brain to understand like we're eating
like, so it's just like slowing everything down.
(32:39):
I think I was always in a rush before rush, rush, rush of
fresh, you know, like, and so just slowing my life down, it's
really helped, I think. I was reading the the power of
now and there, you know, you like it totally talks about how
being present with even when you're eating and and tasting
(32:59):
every every bite and feeling that the sensation in your mouth
and and you know, and that's that's where you become present
and that stops you from from going into the future fear,
which is anxiety and and so one of the things.
For me on the go, like they likethey, they think we're really
(33:19):
weird that we're like walk around eating because they sit
down and eat and savour their food.
That's what we should do. Yeah, I think we just get so
busy in the in for the psycho getting busy and and we don't
really spend quality time in theprison and being present with
(33:43):
with a third all people. And because we're just on the
go, go, go. And sometimes, sometimes I think
I feel like we'll be, we'll be really what would benefit us as
to slow down and just go with the live with flow in our lives,
right, Rather than going againstit.
(34:05):
So we're constantly trying to, you know, go do things and try
and force things when we can just let it flow and just be
right. Yeah.
So if someone is listening to this episode right now and they
and they realise that they may be struggling with orthorexia,
(34:25):
what would you say to them? Go and get help, you know, find.
I mean, like the lady that I used was absolutely amazing.
Her name's Michelle Sage and she's based on the Shore, so I'd
highly recommend her. Yeah, go and speak to somebody
that understands healthy relationships with food and make
(34:47):
a choice that you don't want to be controlled by food anymore or
you don't want your behaviour with food to control you.
And, and you know, yeah, I thinkrecognition is the key.
So admitting like, yeah, I don'thave a good relationship with
food and I want to have a betterrelationship with food.
Start there and get some help because you can't really do it
(35:10):
on your own. You do need to have some an
expert holding your hand throughit and taking you through the
process. It's kind of like with healing,
you know, when I'm working on someone's body, like I am
working on their body, like we're kind of like a circuit and
then I step away and energy is released through me.
(35:30):
So like you need that, like you need that other person to help
you break your cycles. So and they will give you a
fresh pair of eyes and, and justgo easy on yourself as well.
Like I think like again, it's about like self love.
It's about looking after yourself and doing the right
thing for you. So don't beat yourself up about
(35:52):
it. Don't have any judgement on
yourself, just, um, go into it with the, with the view that
like I, I want to have a healthyrelationship with food and I
want to be free of control. Like, and I think that's the
same for like, kind of like anorexia, bulimia and all of the
other eating disorders. I've, I've met a lot of people
(36:13):
with those disorders as well. I think a lot of it is it is
control, its mindset, it is potentially childhood trauma,
you know, so I think everything needs to be looked at
holistically and it's a journey and it and, and you know, and I,
I luckily haven't fallen back into old habits, but I guess if
(36:34):
you do, like don't worry about yourself.
Just have your have your coping mechanisms that you go to like
your affirmations or you know, you know, recognise it triggers
and you know, and stop yourself before you go down that rabbit
hole. You know, and and use yourself
because essentially what it is is an eating disorder is you're
(36:57):
abusing your body food basically.
Hmm, have any small steps or mindset chefs that people can
start to start with to regain their control over their health
and the positive way? Um, what are you using food for?
Are you using food rather than eating food?
(37:19):
Like food should just nourish you.
Like, what is food to you? That's a good question to ask
yourself. Like what?
What does food give me? Because that only answer to that
should be yes, enjoyment, because we could all sit down
and enjoy a lovely meal, especially a lovely healthy
meal. But food should be like
nourishment, you know, it shouldbe like a joyous thing to do.
(37:43):
It shouldn't be like punishment.It shouldn't be guilt.
It shouldn't be, you know, try to give you an emotional boost
and you know it. Food for me now isn't is
nourishment, you know, and enjoyment with friends and
family. You know, I think, I think
that's a good question to sit down and ask yourself, like what
(38:05):
am I getting out of food and is not good?
Yeah, yeah, absolutely. And for those who have loved, so
those who have a loved one who'sgoing through this, what's the
best way to support that person and with without making them
(38:26):
feel judged or pressured? It's really difficult with
anorexia and, and all the different, you know, orthorexia
because it's so personal and I think in the loved ones and the
far now of people that are experiencing this and you've got
to understand that that person is in their own head about it.
(38:49):
So I really honestly think that they have, you have to have like
specialist help with it because I think the recognition needs to
come from them. If you sort of say to someone,
you know, ohh, you know, you're not looking great or I've
noticed this, it probably could potentially make it worse.
(39:10):
So I think those kind of like interventions and and things
like can make it worse. But I think it's tread carefully
with it, but definitely say, youknow, hey, I've noticed that.
And you know, like maybe your relationship with food is, it's,
it's a real tricky one, but likesomehow get them to maybe open
(39:33):
up and talk about it like hell. Why, why do you do that?
Like, or why did you say that? I guess if you, if you catch
them saying something negative, that's probably the best thing
to do is like, if you catch themsaying like something negative
about themselves, then you can say, no, not at all.
You know, like, why did you say that and get maybe them to open
(39:54):
apple. Why do you think that?
And get them to admit to you that they're having like
negative thoughts. They've got a negative
relationship with food. And then you can suggest, I
think you should get some help, like have you thought about, you
know, seeing somebody about yourrelationship with food?
And that's probably the best wayto go around because I think if
you say like, hey, like you're looking really thin or you're
(40:14):
not looking well, or I've noticed that you're Bingy
saying, or I've noticed that, you know, like, that probably
adds to the problem. Hmm.
And are you currently like helping people, supporting
people in this area or was guiding?
People, not really I I saw a fewpeople in my this is actually
(40:36):
the only time I've ever talked about it with you out in the
public domain. Like yeah, it's not something
that I share on the regular at all.
It's very personal to me and I did see a couple of people with
eating disorders when I was working in my clinic, but it
(40:56):
was, it was too triggering for me.
It's yeah, it's not something I feel like equipped to deal with
it. I'm really honestly think it has
to be like someone that is a professional that is trained in
this, that can cope with the emotions of it because like, I
found it difficult because a lotof you know, I found it very sad
(41:22):
dealing with those people and and, and like, looking back on
that time, I was so pleased thatI'm free of it.
And it's just it's not part of my life anymore.
So it's not something that I feel equipped to deal with.
You know, I'm happy to share my story.
But yeah, like, yeah, only time talked about it in the in the
public you. Know well thank you for sharing
(41:44):
your story because you know thiswill help people and and for
them to know that they're not the they're not alone and there
are other people have gone through this and they can also
they can also take the right steps by connecting with the
professional and help and help themselves right and.
You're really not alone. I mean, lots of women struggle
(42:05):
with this. I mean, I don't know, like many
women that sort of talk openly about it.
I don't know, many women don't be like, yeah, my body's
absolutely perfect and I love it.
You know, like there's always some problem areas that we have.
But it's I think it's about accepting that we're perfect the
way that we are. Yes, there may be like healthy
tweaks that we need to make, exercise and healthy eating.
(42:25):
There's always a good thing for like our bodies, but and I think
it's really important that to realise that, you know, you're
not alone. Like there's lots of women that
are going through varying stagesof this, even even women that
don't and men I guess like that don't have eating disorders.
(42:47):
Like probably a lot of people struggle with food in some ways.
Yeah. And in this particular area, has
there been anyone that's inspired you and, and, and how
anorexia that was, um, orthorexia and these sort of
(43:07):
disorders as anyone that you've looked up to there or any books
that you've read that you could recommend?
I think it really is just Michelle to be honest, because
Michelle went through her own journey with this as well.
And Shell shared, I don't think she particularly had orthorexia,
but she went through her own journey that she shared with me.
I think her journey's even on her website and it was her like
(43:30):
she inspired me because I lookedat a woman who okay, well she's
comfort the other end and she isis great now she's doing
amazing. So she was my biggest
inspiration in all of this. Yeah.
Umm, and if you, if you could goback to your younger self right
now, what would you have said tothat to your younger?
(43:51):
Self, yeah, you're like, you're perfect the way that you are.
You're beautiful, but you're theway that you are.
And beauty is a holistic thing. You know, it's about the person
that you are, the spiritual being that you are.
You're going to go through your life and you're gonna like go up
and down and you might be skinnyand really fit for a phase and
then you might put on a little bit of weight and like that's
(44:13):
normal and that's okay. Might just be healthy.
Focus on health. Health is wealth.
That's probably my younger self.And what is one last message
that you'd like to share with the world?
Don't compare yourself with others, you know, like you know
that that Lady that you see jogging down the road like
(44:34):
looks, looks amazing and doesn'thave any Cellulite and whatever.
Like that's her journey, you know, and you are you and you,
you're perfect the way that you are.
And it's more, what's more important is to look after your
body, being that it is a really precious instrument to take you
through the spiritual journey that you're having.
And, and yeah, that's probably what I would share.
(44:56):
Umm. Awesome, thank you so much
Amanda for sharing your story and your journey with us.
It's it's been really amazing. It's incredibly, incredibly
inspiring and I know that it's going to resonate with many of
the people who are going to listen or watch this episode and
(45:16):
the people that are struggling with their relationship with
food. So thank you so much and
honestly if for your honesty andsharing what you, what you know,
the difficult journey that you've been through and you've
got the strength through that journey.
Right and. Freedom, freedom when we go
through these things, we, we, webuild the strength and we build
the freedom. And so for those who are
(45:38):
listening, if Manda story has resonated with you, please know
that you're not alone and there is support out there and healing
as possible. So reach out to Michelle stage
and I will I will find her details and add that to the to
the show notes as well. So, and if someone really wanted
(46:02):
to just come and have a chat with you, is that is that okay?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. You just find me on LinkedIn,
Yeah. So thank you so much for for
your time and I really appreciate it and what's your
shit is amazing. And thank you all for listening
to this episode. And Please remember to share
(46:24):
this episode with someone who may benefit from from what
Amanda has shared. And please subscribe and follow
this podcast so they don't miss future episodes and we can get
it out to the wider world. Your support and subscribing and
following helps us grow this podcast and to be able to bring
(46:44):
more episodes that are going to help you on your journey.
So until next time, just know that you are loved, know that
you're worthy. Champion your life, champion
your greatness, and stay strong.Stay mindful.
Remember that your mindset is the greatest tool for change.
Have an amazing day.
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