S2-E142 - Men in the Modern World with Garrison Pearse - Champion Mindset Collective

Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
Nothing is responsibility of every generation to try and
break the challenge of the generation before, which you can
only really do if you've been doing the work on yourself in
terms of overcoming the challenges of inherited or that
have developed course or whatever they are.
It was growing up as a child. Everyone needs to understand all
the things that happen in our lives.
Do you become part of our tapestry?

(00:21):
It is a matter of what creates the light shade in our lives.
So it's not that it shouldn't have happened per se because
what has happened has happened. It's then how we choose to
respond, whether we try to ignore it, whether we behave in
such a way that exacerbates it, or whether we do try to find
other healing. So how would these changes
impacting men's mental and emotional?
Health, that creates a lot of turmoil and we all have to look

(00:43):
at the fact that 80% of suicidesare men.
That says a lot about what's nothappening for them as well as
what is happening to them. So sometimes you do have to go
to that point where the real pain is for somebody normalising
that problem to see that there is a way of engaging it.
They've all gone out wins. We've all got our negative

(01:04):
positive experiences. If a man can learn to accept the
fact that he's not the old one out, he doesn't need to feel so
bad about himself. You know, it's just being human.
The golden key for anyone in life is knowing that you can't
fix anybody except yourself. Best thing you ever do for
anybody is improve yourself. When you grow and improve those

(01:24):
around you get permission to grow and improve.
Don't focus on anybody else, focus on your.
Own yourself. Welcome back to the Champion
Mindset Collective podcast. I'm your host, Anthony Diane.
I'm so grateful that you're herewatching or listening to this
episode. If you've ever felt lost or
unsure of your role as a man today, you're not alone.
This episode is for every guy and those in his life who are

(01:46):
secretly struggling with their own identity and worth, who need
to know that they matter more than ever before.
Welcome to today's episode wherewe are going to explore
challenges and opportunities menface and their rapidly changing
world. As roles and expectations shift
at home and at work, many men are struggling to redefine their

(02:10):
identity and purpose. Joining us today is Garrison
Pierce from Garrison Coaching. Who was she?
His journey and offer valuable insights on how men navigate
those uncertain times and find their place in the modern world.
Garrison Pierce grew up in Australia during the 60s and
70s, at a time when men were expected to be breadwinners and

(02:35):
women stayed at home to raise kids.
But for years, because of his struggle and his childhood with
his own sense of existence, while striving to break the
cycle and raise his own childrendifferently today, Garrison is
dedicated to helping men who feel lost and disillusioned,
guiding them to rediscover theirstrength, purpose and a place in

(02:58):
this ever changing world. Let's welcome Garrison to the
Champion Monthly Collective podcast. 8.
Good to have you here, Garrison.It's been a long time coming.
Who finally got here? Yeah.
So Garrison, before we go into some questions, I really liked
for you to share your journey. It sounds like you've been

(03:20):
through a lot and would love to hear your childhood story and
you're leading up to where you are today.
Well, as you said on this, well,born and raised Australian and
that was in Sydney and I was part of a family with four sons
and I was the third born. And it was a family culture that

(03:44):
was very Victorian in its mindset.
And my father's parents and those before them were of very
similar veins. So it's almost as if we were
being raised in a previous generation mould in a, in the
wrong generation. So it was a very due to our

(04:07):
entire culture, because of our part of it being part of the The
Salvation Army. So we grew up in a very musical
Carmen environment. It was an environment where, you
know, we had a lot of access to different youth programmes and
things at the church, but at home it was, you know, quite a

(04:30):
demanding sort of experience. I was on the receiving end of a
lot of punishment, the law of accusation, Laura putdowns.
And so I struggled a lot and formost of my youth being inside
that context. So I often look at a photo of me

(04:53):
when I was only, I don't know, 18 months, two years, whatever
it was, seeing it very joyful little boy.
But then seeing over the years how the photos, that persona was
like being squished down over the period of time.
So, so it, it led to a lot of challenges in terms of knowing

(05:14):
how to to navigate being in the home, trying to avoid my father
because massive times. It was a a negative experience.
Certainly was was on the receiving end of apart from the
the punishment stuff, but also humiliation, misunderstanding.
Certainly everything had to be his way, certainly not heard or

(05:38):
understood. And it was also a matter of
trying to keep the balance between keeping him happy, but
also wanting to, you know, have a more stronger lightship with
with mum because there was also much more safer place to be in.
Fast forwarding into young adulthood, trying to find, you

(06:02):
know, your path in life and trying to find, you know,
setting up your own family and such.
You know, you, you, you grew up with the ideals that, you know,
you're like, I'm, you know, I'm not going to be like my father.
I'm gonna raise my kids so differently.
And when I did get kids, you know, it was very strong
challenge because unfortunately quickly starts seeing the

(06:25):
legacies of your own being parented.
Now appearing in raising grandchildren.
That wasn't altogether easy either, because the the
imbalance that had developed andmade out of these caused me to
be in a marriage which probably really wasn't the one that
should have happened. And that sort of caused a lot of

(06:47):
heartache in terms of being undermined in my leadership as a
founding father. It also meant being able to is I
ended up in a marriage that wasn't really right for me.
And as we had our children, certainly quickly saw my father
appearing within my own fathering.

(07:08):
And that we could was exacerbated by the fact that our
son has a DHD, but we didn't understand that he had that
didn't understand was like well into his 20s.
So that would have in understanding that would have
raised him very differently and probably would have saved a lot
of stress within the marriage. But, but incompatibility in

(07:33):
marriage is something which doesimpact a lot of marriages
because there's just not the time taken to to work through
that. But then of, you know,
eventually fell apart, turn intoa single parent for 10 years.
So there's been a lot of journeying.
Yeah, through all those times. And even though I've had thank

(07:55):
you support my own life in termsof self-awareness and stuff, it,
it always just feels like it just Chippenham took the of the
iceberg. It's it's a lot to understand.
It's so deep within us that we have to keep chipping away at it
and which is why we we never gave a completely heal from

(08:18):
that. And it's just every, it's like
climbing the mountain. You get to the top of the
mountain, there's another mountain to climb and you're
back at level 1 again. So, yeah, thank you.
Thank you for sharing that. I mean, I can, I can appreciate
how difficult it would have beenback then, but also even even

(08:39):
now, I'm sure that there are things popping up for you that
you are working through. So journey, it's not a
destination. We've gotta keep working on
ourselves to to be a bit divisions and really making that
child child self feel wanted andloved and and careful, right?
It's all true and I think that the the thing that everyone

(08:59):
needs to understand is that all the things that happen in our
lives do become part of our tapestry.
It is a matter of what creates the light and shade in our
lives. It's so it's not that it
shouldn't have happened per se, because what has happened has
happened, but it's then how it you choose to respond to it,

(09:20):
whether we try to ignore it, whether we behave in such a way
that exacerbates it or whether we do try to find the healing.
What I find is really helpful isknowing that there's always a
reason behind every behaviour, attitude, thought processes,

(09:42):
actions in action, whatever functionality there is in life,
there's always a good reason behind it.
But unfortunately, of course, being vulnerable is so hard,
particularly for men. They'd rather just say, Oh well,
that's just the way I am. You either put up with it or,
you know, shove off kind of thing and that doesn't serve

(10:05):
anybody. Yeah, I've done that in my life
in the past. We'll do it.
And taking responsibility and actually living a life that you
know, where you're becoming the better version of yourself as as
key, I think. And it's also, like you said,
the awareness is the first step,but also accepting what

(10:27):
happened, happened, acknowledging it and then
letting it go as that's, that's been my experience anyway.
So how do you see me in the roleof mean evolving in today's
world? So again, we are product of our
youth just as our parents were product their youth.
So a lot of stuff gets passed ongeneration to generation, from

(10:52):
trauma through to mindsets through to cultures within the
family. So it's that that we're then
take into our adulthood. And with that comes a lot of
social norms as well. So as you said in the intro, you
know, when I was a child, it wasstill very much a matter of the

(11:15):
man going to work and the motherstaying at home to raise the
children. Not that there's anything wrong
with that. Children need as much nurture as
they can get but as I was getting past my youth, you know,
that was rapidly changing. When I was about 12, my mum went
back to the workforce and that certainly left an impact on me

(11:40):
in a negative way. But we're still we're part of a
culture where and still are, where men are expected to be the
the number one breadwinner. But at the same time, what's now
happening is that women are becoming much more successful
than they ever have before on mass.
Also, there's always different choices that people make in

(12:03):
their lives and families, but men aren't needed as much as
they used to be because of that.So women dominate a lot of
different industries out there in terms of crew, everything
from hospitality to healthcare, etcetera.
There's very few bastions left there for women, which I'm sure

(12:24):
there will be those who disagreewith that.
But overall men are in many waysfalling behind.
So that even in terms of education, if you go to any
university, the number of femalestudents far outweigh the the
male students, same as differentindustries and same in terms of

(12:46):
different types of community environments.
So what's So there's the impact of men roles being taken over by
women in some areas. There's also the element of
watch your talk when you're growing up as a boy, you know,
what are you gonna be when you grow up?

(13:08):
And, and, but these days, by thetime they grow up, it's a very
different work environment anyway in terms of, you know,
and, and rightly so in many waysin terms of equal quality.
And, you know, now bowling allowed and sexual harassment of
law, there's been addressed mostly successfully, but there's
still plenty of that happening around because people still

(13:31):
people. But and the other thing that's
affecting men these days is the fact that we are now on the 5th
Industrial revolution, which we now see with the rapid emergence
of a I, even though it's been around for a long time and
various shapes and forms since because of COVID, the rapid

(13:54):
increase of technology through that period of time.
You know, there was a period when everybody was starting to
question, you know, what their life was and what it meant.
And we all shut up in our homes.And men probably have struggled
more because they don't have that central network that women
tend to have. So there's a lot of things that

(14:16):
have shifted in a man's world, even within the home.
A lot of marriages are falling apart because of
incompatibility. That's that's happening because
there's more financial choice that the husband and wife aren't
as dependent on each other as they used to be.
When a man is being usurped in the home, when the value that's

(14:42):
being placed on them in the homeis greenling, when there's a lot
of anti sentiment that comes from certain quadrents towards
men. When you see that even in the
advertising world, men are oftennow the dumbed down one in the
background. There's a lot of things that are
undermining what a man should be.

(15:04):
And and there's not a lot of guidance there to to help them
with that transition. So when there's jobs that no
longer exist, well, okay, well, they've got to find some other
way to do that to earn a living.And if, if they're the young
ones, that's bit easier because they're being brought up in the

(15:26):
A I world. But for the older ones, people
my age, you know, bit younger, whatever, you know, it's, it's
not so easy. You've, you've grown up with a
particular mindset of what you know your life should look like
compared to what is now possible.
So even when I was growing up, you know, the mindset was that

(15:48):
when you got into a job and you stayed with that company, you
know, for decades, for as long as you could, that was the
standard. That's what was expected, but
now the tables have turned us just like, ohh, you've been a
job for 10 years. What's wrong with you know, it's
just like you're not wanted to advance your life.
So there's just all these different conflicting messages
that are coming in every sort ofarea of life.

(16:11):
So what a man should be relationship, you know, that
they want the the the the message is that I will men need
to be more sensitive, more emotionally intelligent and and
in a long ways. They want men to be more in in a
feminine energy rather than masculine energy.

(16:32):
So there's a lot of confusion over that as well.
So what does a man mean at different stages is also not
very well understood either. So how women relate to men or
even how men relate to other menof different ages, it's
important to understand what is actually happening for them,

(16:53):
which is common across all men. It's not a particular men's
issue. Yeah, those dynamics depending
on each family and each, each situation is is quite, quite
diverse, isn't it really? Yeah, definitely a hard,
especially the AI space which itwhich I'm heavily involved in at
the moment. A lot of people are scared, a

(17:15):
lot of people are. Some people aren't even willing
to to embrace it. And the, the sad truth is that,
you know, just like technology, just like cars, just like we
don't impress it, we're going toget left behind.
And because of how the work, thewhole working space is changing.
I mean, already companies are letting people go.

(17:37):
So I can imagine what it's like for a, for a man to lose his
job, having been in that situation myself four times.
So how would these changes impacting men's mental and
emotional? Health.
Well, I guess partly the main issue is that is not that kind
of buffer around them, all thosewho know better who've been

(18:03):
there and done that because theycan't have been been there and
done that because it didn't exist before.
So there's a lot of pressure on men to be the provider, but also
be very adaptable for whatever hoops somebody wants them to

(18:27):
jump through, whether that's boss's colleagues, authorities
in the society, partners, whatever.
So there's there's a lot more expected of them in ways that
they can't necessarily step up to because they're not meant to
step up in, in all these different areas that, you know,

(18:48):
no one can actually accomplish all these different things.
So, so then you end up with thiscompetition happening between
men and women. And I must stress that I'm
saying these are very general terms, but there is a rise in
some alpha minded areas of men where it's like, you know, it's
almost becoming quite anti womenin many ways.

(19:10):
It's like, you know, I'm a man, that's it.
And it's like you've got to succumb to that, which is not
what life is about. But then you have the other side
of the camp too, where it's like, ohh, men are useless, you
know, we don't need them, blah blah.
And or we end up with, is this alot of misunderstanding, a lot
of miscommunication, a lot of incompatibility in different

(19:30):
situations. And I don't just mean in
transpersonal relationships, it happens in the workplace as
well, business partnerships, in community relations, leadership
roles, wherever there's people, there's going to be
misunderstanding and miscommunication.
So if if neither side understands how the other side
functions, then that's going to create a vacuum.

(19:53):
And when a man is needing to be needed and that's not happening,
they, they, there is a much morechance of being disconnected
from themselves, not just disconnected from whoever
they're being in relationship with.
So that creates a lot of turmoiland we only have to look at the
fact that. 80% of suicides are men.

(20:18):
That says a lot about what not happening for them as well as
what is happening to them. That means that they're not
really coping with what's what'sSo with, with men typically not
very good at relationships with emotions and understanding their
feelings and knowing how to manage them, then that's that's

(20:42):
the recipe for a lot of breakdowns in society.
So if you don't know what you want, if you can't hold space
with the other person, then there's very little space to go.
So you've spoken openly about your struggles and growing up.
How these experiences shape you understanding of manhood?

(21:03):
Well, it's interesting. My father was very much the kind
that would love to be up with his car in the backyard in the
shed, tinkering away. He would get very disgruntled
about the fact that his sons weren't interested in what he
was interested in has he was expected to be with his father
and his father before him. My father would talk about how

(21:27):
his father and his grandfather would take him out camping and
shooting for rabbits. They'd be all these other
stories about, you know, his father driving a horse and
waggon in terms of delivering the daily bread.
There's just such a a different world.
But what we ended up with was a man who struggled with his own

(21:50):
emotional intelligence, struggled a lot with depression,
and struggled a lot with terms of being fair and just in a lot
of situations he found himself in as a father, but also as a
colleague at work and also in various elements of the church.

(22:11):
We would often be hearing him whinging, complaining about
different things, which was his wired coping our guess.
So we've got all this sort of influences that have been coming
at us that we're in a, we're growing up in age that was
already rapidly changing in different ways.
And I, I could say that we weren't really prepared in what

(22:34):
it meant to become your own man and to become a good father.
The role model really wasn't there all that much.
I have to say that, you know, hewasn't a bad man.
I mean, you know, he was a very good provider.
He certainly would protect us with his life.

(22:55):
But in terms of that interpersonal dynamic on a
regular basis, it was very difficult to to charter that.
So, so I found that as a young man tend to to be a very active
like he was, I tended to find that I would be oblivious to the

(23:17):
impact that I was having on other people.
Found that because there wasn't that sense of nurturing that
there wasn't that sense of confidence and that sense of
owning who you are. And also found that in the times
when I was being humiliated, when I was being put down, any

(23:41):
kind of relationship between me and him was just very much
damage your repair when it came to my own children.
The the number one thing which Iwas committed to before they
were born, you know, you tell yourself you not gonna be like
your old man. But but one thing I was

(24:03):
committed to make sure that would happen is that I would
tell them on a regular basis that allowed them, not just
expecting them to sort of sense it because you're providing for
them. Children need to hear what you
feel, say, they, they, they needto know that you love them, to
hear that, but also to be told that you're proud of them,

(24:25):
really there to help them definewhat their life is about.
It's not about falling in, in myfootsteps, which, you know, it's
a bit hard these days anyway when you change careers about
five times like I have. But now I've got two young
children or young adults now they're pretty well balanced.
Who advised them a lot better? Absolutely.

(24:47):
That, you know, is that's part of adult is or as a parent, you
know, it's like you do your best, give what you can, but you
you at least try to improve whatyou received.
And I think it's the responsibility of every
generation to try and break the chains of the generation before,

(25:08):
which you can only really do if you've been doing the work on
yourself in terms of overcoming the challenges that you've
inherited or that have developedor whatever the environment was
growing up as a child. So all those things are
impacting on a man's ability to,to know how to navigate with

(25:29):
their own emotions, to know how to navigate relationships when
they haven't had really good examples.
The the breakdown of relationships with parents.
They talk about parents that areabsent, usually physically or
emotionally. And that's in, in, in every
increasing measure now. So the day when a community

(25:54):
raises a child is long gone. So there's a lot of pressure
that's coming in on families members as well.
When from my own experience, when you know, when my ex wife's
expectations on me were that of what you'd be expecting on a
broader, a group of people, it, it really is very crushing.

(26:17):
And you just become so overwhelmed and, and when things
could get bad, you think that you're the, the you're failing
as a man and as a person. You know, those generations are
they weren't even aware of the half the stuff that was going
on. And and you know, we have so
much more awareness these days than than I think our parents

(26:39):
and their parents head back then.
But again, like you said, that filtering down and in a
generation actually making a conscious decision of being the
change for the future, it takes a lot.
And I think, you know, I can talk from my, my perspective as

(26:59):
my parents, maybe try it a little bit of doing that.
I know my dad did not my mum, but I know my dad did.
And but yeah, it's, it's, it's been for me, my experience was
that going to the boarding school, being abandoned,
rejected, like you said before, when my daughter was born, I

(27:22):
made a conscious decision to to never put her through anything
that I went through. And yeah, like you said, I
always, we always say love you every time we see each other,
even if it's on the phone, whether it's in person.
And it's like you said, it's important.
It's so important. And you've obviously learned a
lot of lessons, some negative, some and a lot are positive as

(27:46):
well. How have those lessons
influenced how you talked about how you've how how it's
influenced your parenting? How about the way you coach
other men today? How's that influenced that?
Well, I guess the, the biggest gift that you can give anybody
in any sort of situation is allowing them to, to be heard,

(28:10):
to be, to be seen for where they're at.
And, and unfortunately, most people don't receive that kind
of gift. With men, it can be a bit more
challenging in the sense of, youknow, you, they need to go
somewhere which is totally unfamiliar, particularly in

(28:32):
dealing with their emotions. And it's like what I said
earlier, the good and the bad iswhat makes up our tapestries of
life. But sometimes, you know, we can
get caught up in the final detail and not lose sight of the

(28:53):
the bigger picture. So often it's a matter of
helping a man to be able to pullback from what they're so
absorbed in. So the classical example that I
still love going back to is if you have a whiteboard with a
black dot on it and you ask somebody what they see,

(29:13):
generally they'll say, ohh, I see a black dot, when in actual
fact, what they're seeing is a big whiteboard that just happens
to have a little black dot on it.
So, you know, if if they saw a car with a bit of mud on the
side of it because it went through a splash and you asked
them, what do you see? They wouldn't say that they saw

(29:35):
some mud splash. They would say their sea car.
So it's, it's helping them to translate what is as a whole and
then looking at in proportion what has been going on for them.
But you know, that's that's justwhy we tend to function.
You know, we otherwise known it,know it is either putting our

(29:58):
head in the sand or, you know, doing a lot of naval gazing and
it's just none of it's healthy or suitable in terms of
navigating life. So sometimes you do have to go
to that point where the real pain is for somebody,
normalising that and helping to see that at the ease of way of

(30:21):
engaging it. Because once they do, they can
also then go back to what I was saying earlier that, you know,
there is a reason for everything.
And someone says, I don't understand why I keep being
triggered by this kind of thing or by that particular person or
you know, why or feel overwhelmed when a certain

(30:44):
experience is happening. It just keeps on repeating.
I don't know why I can't stack to relationship.
All these different things are all sourced back into our
childhood, which, you know, somepeople will say, oh, that's just
a cop out. You know, it's like you are what
you are now, but we are a product or that's gone before
us. And it will only change if we

(31:06):
are intentional about finding that change, which is not for
the faint hearted. I mean, to, to, to take, you
know, straight on what has, you know, we've tried to avoid for
so long is an emotional and psychological gymnastic corral

(31:27):
experience. But, you know, as long as, as
long as I can help people to feel safe in an environment
where it's okay to go look at those things, it's amazing what
they learn and see for themselves.
And all of a sudden there's a great sense of control over
their life. The three, three something,

(31:51):
something years that we've knowneach other probably longer.
Yeah, you've, you've definitely helped me through a lot of a lot
of those things. Um, because yeah, I can remember
back to when I was being triggered by like in
relationships and yeah, it's definitely helped me.
And you know, I thank you for that.

(32:12):
Now I'm. It's been it's been vice versa,
Anthony, I mean, this, this is this is the power of bonding
male to male in a healthy way, because you should be able to
have each other's back. When one's down, the other one's
up, the other one's down. You know, the other one can help
lift up. If you both Dan, then you just
give each other little spice. Exactly.

(32:35):
And it's the sign in in a marriage.
Yeah, differences is that how a woman needs to receive is
different to how man needs to receive.
But as long as you've got that commitment to being there, then
you're okay. It's it's, it's like what Brunei
Brown says, that there's no suchthing as a 5050 relationship.

(32:59):
You know, the Hasman maybe 81 day and the wife is at 50.
You know, he's got her back. The next day she might be at 70
years, down at 20, she's got hisback.
So there's always that altering effect within the marriage.
And if you understand that that's what's happening, instead

(33:20):
of someone expecting someone to be consistent exactly the same
everyday, which is impossible for anybody to be, then you can
be even more gracious each other.
I mean, you know, there were times earlier when we started to
get to know each other. I would, you know, you'd do my
head in but once. But once we understood what was

(33:42):
going on, we were able to balance that out.
And you know, colleagues, partners, friends and I, we, we
all tend to do each other's headin over something.
But once there's understanding of why they're behaving that
way, and that person understandsthat they are behaving that way
and that there's a different wayto behave, then that changes a

(34:05):
lot in terms of how successful our relationship can be.
Because you are doing the work on yourself.
You cannot expect anything to get better if you're not getting
better yourself. That's not a that's a Jim Ryan
quite, isn't it? So the truth and always been the
same throughout all the centuries.

(34:26):
It's just that whether we have been taught and whether we're
take the time to learn it. Absolutely agree with you.
How can men start to address their feelings of shame and
inadequacy? Well, I think it starts with
simple fact that they don't needto believe that it's just them

(34:47):
that's feeling that way. The reality is that everybody
feels that way in some way. Felt forming of another.
We've all got our words, we've all got our negative and
positive experiences. If if a man can learn to accept
the fact that he's not the old one out, then he doesn't need to

(35:08):
feel so bad about himself, you know?
It's just being human. But then the other thing is
that, you know, a man needs to be able to find someone who they
can trust that is not going to laugh at them when they share
whatever's happening in their lives.

(35:28):
I mean, the tricky thing is if, if you feel like you don't
belong anywhere, you're not going to be vulnerable to
anybody. And and that's quite common
across the board as well. So nobody gets through their
childhood with their self esteemintact.

(35:50):
It's it's been damaged in one way or the other, but it's also
part of what you know, forms us.But The thing is that for man to
see something different for themselves, they have to be as
determined about it as more thananything else, the the secret to

(36:18):
manhood. Whatever that manhood needs to
be for you has to be in finding the role models that will help
you to grow not just into the understanding, but beyond that
in terms of understanding. You know what you hear for no

(36:39):
one mistake. No one is, you know, an
afterthought. Doesn't matter what the
circumstances were surrounding their birth.
No one, Everyone on Earth has a purpose, whether that's a brand
purpose like, you know, inventing, you know, the a I
driven car or just being the kind of father for your children

(37:02):
in a way that you never fatheredyourself.
I mean, there's so many different kinds of purposes in
life and we are we we all have multiple purposes within our own
self and at different stages of life.
So I don't think any man needs to feel that they're missing out
on, you know, fulfilling their purpose.

(37:25):
What they're missing out on is experiencing the deeper, greater
self and and if they understand that there's there's always more
in terms of the richness of their life for themselves.
There's also the other side thatnot only do they need to grow so

(37:47):
they don't miss out, if they need to grow so that others
don't miss out on who then better self can be.
So this is a little bug bear of mine is we hear a lot in the
self development world about, you know, reaching your full
potential, which is a bit of an anomaly because it suggests that

(38:11):
there is a definite end product,but there isn't Our our our
potential is ever evolving. We should be able to get to our
last breath and still believe that I, I there was still this
to do and you know, and I still need to get better at this or
that or, you know, I wanted to be able to have, you know,

(38:34):
greater effect in whichever area.
I mean, we're not here as a an individual silo.
So if, if men can understand that there's always something
bigger beyond where they currently are and that those
bigger things are meant for better fulfilment in their life,

(38:54):
which then also has the flow on effect to more enriched lives of
those who are around you, it's it's only a win win.
I mean, the problem is that I like life to be like a mountain
range. I mean, you talk refer to that
earlier, but what people don't realise or maybe not realise,

(39:15):
but sort of taken consideration is the fact that every amount of
top is followed by a corresponding valley.
And what I see a lot in society overall and you know, but
clearly with men, whatever I'm dealing with is that people can
get into these valleys which aredesigned for our greatest

(39:39):
growth. But if we haven't learnt because
of, you know, whatever environment we've been brought
up with, whatever skills we haveor haven't been imparted with,
it's very easy to get trapped inthe valley.
And, and if you're there for toolong, then the ability to climb
out of it gets harder. So it's a bit like the, the edge

(40:01):
of the mountain gets muddy and slippery.
The more we try and climb, the more you keep falling back.
And that's usually because. In that valley experience, if
you haven't learnt what you needto be learning in that
particular valley, then you won't get to move on.
So that's where you come back tothe idea of ohh, that's just the

(40:22):
way I am. Or you know, what else can you
expect? Or you know, whatever thing is
life dampening rather than life giving.
So, so the, the skill that I like to try and part for people,
for men is, okay, let's see where you're currently at and

(40:45):
what skills, what steps need to happen so you can navigate away,
back out of the valley. Learn your lesson, learn it
well, but know there's another mountain to climb, but know that
on the other side of that mountain, there's another
valley. So the better you get at
navigating valleys, the less time you're going to be caught
in those valleys, which means that you spent you achieve more

(41:06):
mountain top experiences, which then in turn bringing overall
fulfilment in your life in ways that people just sort of like,
you know, they can't see that there's anything better than
where they're at. When in actual fact is a lot
more in store if you are intentional about finding it.

(41:30):
Yeah, it's interesting. On my on my Champion Monthly
website, I've got this. I've got this photo of a man on
the mountain going like this, just like the logo.
But it says everyone wants to reach the peak, but there is no
growth on top of the mountain. It's in the valley that we slog
through the lush grass, the richsoil, leaning and becoming what

(41:54):
enables us to summit life's nextpeak.
And there was by Andy Andrews. I quite like that and that's the
reason it was exactly what you've just been talking about,
because the valley is where you do the work and then use a scene
du to the next pick of the mountain, right.
And then again, like you said, it's it's going to be another

(42:15):
valley at the at the base of that mountain.
But the other thing is we also have been brought up in a way
that we because we're life men have become so competitive, but
also we always looking living inthe gap.
So we're not we're we're always going well, Hey, we've got some

(42:35):
I've got to get there. I've got to do this.
I got to do that and we never, we're never going to get there
because it's a continuous journey.
What we've got to do is look back and say look how far I've
come and that's the way to live in the gain rather than living
in the gap. The other side of that coin is

(42:56):
that if we have spent, if we've experienced a lot of negativity
in our growing up, or if we havenot had the kind of love we feel
we could have needed to have had.
If we feel hard done by as children, then that has a

(43:18):
significant effect on how we perceive our world and in terms
of how you understand yourself. So if you grow up in a way that
says to you, you're not worthwhile, if that you're, you
know, on mistake or, or if you're someone who you need to

(43:43):
put on a front all the time. So someone, because some people
don't see what you believe is rotten on the inside, then
navigating our valleys becomes even more complex because
unfortunately, when you sort of are operating in that coral
mindset, you learn to settle forless, for a lot less.

(44:06):
So you end up jumping through all these hoops trying to
impress people who don't really need to be impressed.
You don't. Your value, your, your
validation doesn't rely on those, but we're taught
subconsciously that, you know, be happy with what you've got is
what I heard a lot growing up. So it's like, okay, so I'm

(44:27):
supposed to be happy with the few crumbs I get from people who
don't matter in terms of my value, my worth in this life.
So time in the Valley is very critical in terms of learning.
Here you are where you're at while you function the way you

(44:47):
do so that then equips you for the next phase.
Because self-awareness, not justthe self ones, but big how to do
something about what you're coming aware of is the only way
that you will live your life. Not trying to live someone
else's decree or what fantasies society is trying to sell you.

(45:12):
It's funny you aren't true self and what your purpose is in
life. That will enable you to be more
of your yourself, to be a real man in terms of what that is for
you. Stereotypes have been
suffocating men for a very long time.

(45:33):
Agree with you, Carson. What practical steps can men
take to redefine their identity and purpose in a changing world,
Especially with a I as well coming?
Well, it's not coming. It's already here.
But like endless changing wheel we're it's rapidly changing.
It's not, it's not like I think with technology it was changing

(45:56):
overtime, but AI is moving so fast, so, so fast.
Like within days and weeks things are changing.
How can men redefine their identity and purpose?
Well, I actually think that regardless of what is happening
in the current age, the challenge is always the same.

(46:16):
You know, we are a product, as I've said before, of our youth.
We are defined by what family culture we grow up in,
education, religious order, family plans, whatever.
There's there's always these different expectations that were
raised with. Some of them are good, some not

(46:39):
so good. But in the midst of all that,
it's still a matter of coming tounderstand who you are without
all that, but knowing that a lotof that is still fundamental to
understanding who you are. So that so some of the

(47:00):
fundamental steps that I do withguys is one of the key things I
do is conduct A behavioural assessment for them because it's
a bit more of a analytical process.
It's not so straight onto the emotions kind of thing.
So that helps men to get a better understanding of how they

(47:21):
would because there's some elements in the fundamental
wiring that never ever changes. So I, I did a behavioural
assessment many years ago. I did the same model assessment
32 years later and I was still the same worry.

(47:43):
Nothing had changed in terms of the fundamental worry.
A lot of other things around it changed, but I still operate on
the same system. So when men get to understand
that the there is reason behind their strengths and and why
there are certain weaknesses that it's actually a normal

(48:06):
practical application of if every individual's blueprint.
So when you can accept that, ohh, well, this is actually the
way I've been created Inspire. Whatever circumstances we
growing up, growing up in, if you're born a dominant person,
you will always be a dominant person.
If you're someone who loves socialising with people, that's

(48:30):
always been there. If you're someone who loves
detail and getting everything right so everything else
functions, well, that's always been there and always will be
there. But for any of these people,
it's like, okay, well, this is what I operate easily as, but
okay, well, there's other areas which take a lot more effort for

(48:51):
me to to draw on. It's still there.
It's still something that I can develop.
So once they understand this warring beta, it helps with
their iron self acceptance. So one of the things I then also
get guys to do, which is, you know, has tended to see be seen

(49:12):
as more of a bit of a female thing to do.
But if men can start writing down or that they're feeling or
that they're experiencing or therubbish that goes through their
head at times, just do like a brain dump on a regular basis.
It helps to free up the mind, helps to free up the heart so

(49:34):
that you know, it's, it's a bit like, you know, if you stuff too
much into the washing machine, you know, it's not gonna wash
the clothes very well because there's no room for movement.
So if you want to be able to process things better, then you
will create that room for movement.
Something I alluded to earlier is finding someone who you can

(49:57):
trust, someone who believes in you and can see your potential
better than what you can see yourself.
Now, not all of us will have that kind of person in our life.
If we've been brought up in an environment or a nationality or
whatever sort of kind of culturewhere that is in, you know,

(50:19):
sparse supply, then you've got to seek out someone, whether
it's a mentor, a coach, councillor or just someone who
you know, has done the hard yards and is happy to, to share
with you their experiences, thenthat goes a long way as well.

(50:40):
So that, as I mentioned earlier,when someone is feeling isolated
and I think they're the only onewith that issue, that everyone
else has gone great, which is a lie, then, you know, if they can
find someone who understands because they've been there, that
that does a lot in terms of helping us to, well, I start

(51:01):
rising above where we're at. And, and even just the simple
process of saying to yourself that, okay, there's nothing
saying that I have to be the wayI am.
There's nothing saying but there's not more to discover.

(51:21):
There may be voices in the media, social media, families,
whatever saying that, you know, we'll use you stick like this
and you'll be, you'll be fine. That's, that's not the road to
fulfilment. So you have to be dogged,
determined that you know you canexpect and want more.

(51:43):
And if you keep telling yourselfthat you don't deserve anything
better, then that's how you willlive.
But that is not how we're wide to be.
We are wide to be an ever evolving living species just
like any other planet. Planet will create you on this

(52:04):
earth is there's no stopping with life's experiences until
you know you've passed this chapter of life.
Yeah, yeah. What are some daily habits that
people or habits or mindsets that people could ultravate and
what do you recommend? Kim Jong Un was obviously one of

(52:25):
them that you talked about. Yeah, that's not that's not
something that me and I really taught to do, right.
It's more of a more females willjournal and stuff like that.
Well, that's just one of the another lie that we've been fed
through, you know, stories and movies and and whatever manly
cultures we're expecting, they expect to be part of.

(52:46):
But the brain has a huge job to do for all of us, and that is to
protect us. So if, if we're allowing
ourselves to be pushed around bywhichever wind that blows, then
we're not going to be able to, you know, solidify ourselves and
get on with being more of our true self.

(53:09):
So journaling or reporting or whatever you want to call it
that's going to allow you to connect with it better will help
you to not just download, but also to see patterns.
Patterns always start to appear when you keep writing things

(53:29):
down. So whether you treat it like a
science experiment or, or whether you treat it like, you
know, preparing the the, the most marvellous novel ever to
come, you know, it's like, all comes with making notes, just
like studying for whatever degree we're doing.
It's it's all about writing notes so we can see objectively
what it is. But as I said, with the brain

(53:53):
having such an important role toprotect us, it's where we also
then need to understand that that idea of protecting us isn't
necessarily seen as a good thing.
So that if someone has been raised by an abusive father then

(54:13):
they will tend to attract abusive men into their life.
So sounds weird, but we actuallyneed to stop listening to all
that our brain has to say. It's there to think, it's there
to process, it's not there to control.
But if we don't learn to harnessour thoughts, then it will

(54:35):
control us. So one of the good habits is to
come up with some kind of phrase, The, the briefer, the
the better, whether it's a word or a couple words that will help
us to intercept a lot of things that we that come across our
mind. So it's, it's a bit like, you
know, if you're walking along and a bird, something flies

(54:57):
straight past, you'll notice it,there's gone, but you, it's not
taking any place in your mind. You, you just keep going with
whatever you're doing. Our brain does the same thing.
It, it's, it's like this paper bag flies through our mind and
we stop and think, ohh, there's a brown paper bag in my mind.
What's going on? What's, what does it tell me?

(55:18):
It's not telling you anything. It's, it's just the wide deep
that the brain defrags itself. So it's just like, well, you
might think something about, youknow, how terrible you are
because of what this other person said to you yesterday.
When in actual fact, if we understand that that's often a
reflection on them rather than you, that helps.

(55:41):
If you understand that whatever message there is, we have to
sift through to see what is actually relevant because the
rest is not, then we we have that process.
But if it's a if it's a plain lie or plain distraction, that's
when we use our code word or statement to help intercept any

(56:05):
ability for it to to lodge. So it's a bit like, you know,
when the the seeds are blown on a damning line, they'll just
land wherever and they will growwherever they land.
So if if we have our words say for example it was like a
control alt delete. If you say that to yourself,

(56:29):
when these unwanted or irrelevant thoughts turn up in
your mind, then that code will intercept because its purpose is
to delight, it is to delay. It doesn't belong here.
So it's part of what is, how we make sure that our brain isn't
overloaded, overwhelmed. And that's where even it comes

(56:52):
back to the journalists like Ukraine.
Dump it. And when you look at it, what
the crap is there? Particularly when you come back
to a few days later and think what, why is my brain been
thinking that it's, it's, it's not right, it's not wrong.
It's just the way brains function because because we are

(57:13):
managed 97% by our subconscious,we are taking everything in, in
our environment all the time. We can't think about it all at
once. So the brain is doing its bit to
try and process this, what we'reoblivious to.
So. That's one.
Big challenge. It's deleting, distorting and

(57:33):
generalising things, right? Yeah, yeah.
So you know, and particularly ifyou've been, you know, say for
example, you've been raised being told all the time that
you're you're useless. That's what common thoughts are
going to come by your way. It's understanding, stepping
back and say why should I listento that?
Because actual fact doesn't matter if people have told me

(57:55):
that. It doesn't matter if I actually
have felt that I'm not a uselessperson, it is.
It's just sometimes we do useless things.
That doesn't make us a useless person, and it's disengaging
from the ownership of those laws.
That happened to me at the age of 15 and and it took me like I

(58:17):
almost ended my life because of that.
And but very quickly I was able to bounce back and go, no, let
me show you I can do this. And that person who was very
dear to me actually, cause I wasbasically said I couldn't sing,
I would never amount to anything, came to a concert that

(58:38):
I was singing at the border borders, eyes out.
And then later on in life completely supported me and
everything like that going forward.
So yeah, absolutely. And another, another way I find
personally is movement. Walking, walking, moving your
body, connecting with nature, walking down the beach and the

(59:00):
Bush, just getting out of the four walls and actually being in
the biggest space. Hmm, you know, makes you feel
like this so much more to explore and so much more out
there. So I'd also encourage people to,
you know, move their body, go for a walk.

(59:21):
And I've got a question, how important is community and
connection in this on this journey?
Ohh well it's everything becausewe're all designed for
community. No one is their own.
Ireland for sure there are thosewho regenerate better in their

(59:42):
own company. Where is this other top people
who regenerate better socially? But the reality is that we live
in a society more than ever where we're actually being
isolated against our will in a very insidious, very incremental
way. So.

(01:00:03):
When Facebook was launched, MarkZuckerberg said the units is
going to be so great because it's actually going to bring
everybody together when the proof actually is.
Now that's actually disconnecting people from each
other. If you, you know, go wherever,
work players, the shopping centre, whatever, most of the
time you'll see plenty of peoplewho are glued to their phone.

(01:00:26):
They're not looking at what they're eating, they're not
looking at where they're going, and they're not looking or
talking to the person they're there with.
They're they're absorbed with their phone and yeah, sure,
sometimes there's things that you know, they need to be paying
attention to, but generally speaking, it's something that
can wait till later. So our ability to be socially

(01:00:48):
present is being dwindled all the time.
So this is where COVID was a huge international lesson for
mankind in that we are not designed to be on our own.
So for through any length long next period of time.

(01:01:09):
So for those who were living by themselves or if there was two
people living by themselves together, you'll soon run out of
things to talk about or soon on our things of things that you
can distract yourself, hobbies or work or whatever.

(01:01:29):
It's just like we need that social interaction, otherwise we
wither. So that's why June COVID, we saw
an increase in suicide rates, wesaw an increase in domestic
violence, we saw an increase in depression, always unhealthy
things which get counterbalancedby having more people around us

(01:01:54):
in our lives so that there's notso much pressure coming on
ourselves or coming on to each other.
And because, you know, that's not how it's, that's not how it
is. So the, the old saying was that,
you know, you, the, the, you know, the chair and the parents
have the child, but it's the, it's the, the community, the
village that raises the child directly and indirectly.

(01:02:20):
And the more we aware of that, uh, the more we can be sure that
going and sulking and cornflowercells is, is not going to solve
anything. But also understanding that the
isolation is what also encourages addictions.

(01:02:43):
And those addictions come in allsorts of shapes and forms and
not necessarily what are the obvious things like, you know,
alcohol and drugs and that sort of thing.
It can actually be shopping online.
It can actually be, um, you know, chocolate, it can actually
be sex. It can be depression Even so

(01:03:06):
that you know, and I don't say that lightly because I've had my
own struggles with depression, but it can become an area of
escape. So whatever thing is, is our
guide to when we're not coping with what we're experiencing or
feeling, then that becomes our diction.

(01:03:28):
And that's where understanding the role of dopamine and
homeostasis in our physical being.
It will help us to know how to to move forward because that not
only is our band brand designed to protect us, our home stasis
is also designed to conserve andprotect us as well.

(01:03:50):
So when we're trying to get somewhere alive, if a boy is
pulling us back, if I don't meanso distracted with something
else and it's pulling us back aswell, people will get
discouraged in their growth. That's why it takes a lot of
concern, intention to to grow because you know he wants to be
bound by something that is not life giving.

(01:04:13):
But if we don't understand that,then we will be.
Yeah. And there's been this culture of
like, you've got to do lots and you've gotta do, you know,
you've gotta do lots of stuff and you've gotta hustle and
there's now you gotta work hard.And personally, I thought it's
all wrong. You definitely you're gonna
you're gonna have a good work ethic and so on, but you don't

(01:04:36):
need to work hard. And if you look at it like, you
know, all people are just like flustered there because they got
so much going on and now we're in a space with AI and
automation and things like that.We're actually flipping it and
saying don't work harder, work smarter.
And COVID was kind of like, in away, I guess people there were

(01:04:58):
people that were just still back-to-back meetings.
I was one of them, the type of job I was doing but a very
quickly didn't realised, hey, working, working my ass off,
working hard is not the answer because all I'm doing is doing
tasks, right? Am I doing something meaningful

(01:05:18):
that's actually going to producesomething?
Or am I just doing something forthe sake of doing something
because someone asked me to do it, told me to do it.
And so I think sometimes I feel that we've got to take a step
back and go, okay, I don't need to do so much.

(01:05:39):
I can simplify things and have have that balance and harmony,
harmony in my life where, you know, I'm always looking after
my workspace, but I'm also looking after myself and my
personal life as well. Yeah, For now, for listeners who
may be struggling right now, what is one piece of advice or
encouragement that you'd like toleave with them?

(01:06:00):
Like what are some of the first step that someone can take if
they're feeling overwhelmed? Well, the, the key to any
getting passed most things is to, to talk to somebody about
it. It needs to be someone who you
can trust, who's going to protect your privacy, but give
you the space to process as well.

(01:06:23):
That is so fundamental and, and in addition to what we're saying
about us being wired for community, because if we don't
learn to talk to it, to other people and offline things, it
will in turn eventually turn on us and start impacting our

(01:06:45):
health in some way or another. So for those who have
experienced considerable pain ortrauma in their life, then I
want them to understand that that that lives on in your body
until it's processed. So my encouragement is to people

(01:07:06):
to not just settle for crumbs, to know that there is more for
them and that the more that theyget to process and heal through
different things, the greater the enrichment that they can
expect in their own life. So for both for me, my
experience has been that, you know, because of the staff that

(01:07:29):
are carried for so long, I kept attracting the wrong people and
the wrong opportunities or the dead ends to my life.
And as I've grown, I've now seenhow I'm attracting different
kind of people into my life. I'm attracting different
opportunities into my life. It's just a very fundamental way
of how we are designed in terms of what energy we give off and

(01:07:51):
turn of, you know, if we're not ready to receive something, it's
not going to come to us. So or encourage people to be is
intentional about their life as possible rather than just being
blown about. Yeah, thank you for that,
Garrison. Now, how could people or how can
loved ones support men in their lives through these challenges?

(01:08:18):
I think one of the key things tostart off with is to drop your
expectations. Let them be themselves and and
let them know that regardless ofwhat choices they make, you
still love them, you still valuethem and boil mates.
Particularly if you're a lighting.
Do not smother them. Let them breathe and, and not,

(01:08:44):
you know, keep trying to say, well, this is the mould you need
to be fitting into. You know, you fall in love or
you become friends with someone because of the qualities that
they have. So our job is to keep
encouraging those qualities, nottry to bash them out of them or
or forced into some other kind of thing.

(01:09:06):
You just gotta let men breathe. But also given the the
guidelines of you know that there is more for them to
achieve. It's no, it's not always about
hard work. It is about being living in

(01:09:27):
purpose, putting Paris in action.
So if you, if you are okay, if you're wanting to care more for
someone, for a man that you who is in your life and whatever
status that is, please often to know that you accept them as

(01:09:48):
they are. Because when someone knows that
they are loved and accepted as they are, that is what helps
them to grow. Judgement, condemnation,
expectations is what kills plants.
Acceptance, love and encouragement, that is what
enables their man to grow. And if they are needing support,

(01:10:12):
just know that you cannot tell them.
If someone says to me, sorry, ifsomeone says to a partner,
whatever. Why you should see Garrett,
Garrett go through Garrison because you know he's going to
help you sort out these problems.
That is the number one thing that's going to repel that
person from ever coming to see me.

(01:10:35):
So you just got to be there to help them and support them.
And if they do start talking about what they need, you got to
be out of sight. Be honest and say, look, I can't
give you what you need. Is there somebody who we can go
to that will help us to help you?

(01:10:57):
Umm, don't ever tell someone they need help.
So there's a new specialised in helping men who feel lost and
disillusioned to find their place in this world, guiding
them towards renewed purpose, connection and self acceptance.

(01:11:18):
If people want to reach out to you or want some coaching or
even talk to you through a discovery call, maybe with you,
how could they get hold of you? Well, the main three points are
that contact me through my Facebook page, which is under my
name, Garrison Pierce, same as LinkedIn.

(01:11:39):
They can find me through LinkedIn or they can e-mail me
which is Garrison at Garrison coaching.com dot au.
They're the main ways of doing so.
If you look at my Facebook profile, if you're in Australia,
there is my phone number as well, which you can either or
regards where you are in the world, you can contact using

(01:12:02):
that number through WhatsApp. So it's, it's fairly easy to get
in touch with me and I want anybody to know that if they
just want to have an initial chat, yeah, that's, that's
preferred. That's there's no obligation,
the pressure for me to, you know, engage you in any
professional manner. I'm happy to just give you that

(01:12:26):
listening year to start off with.
And what you choose to do with that is up to you.
Beyond that. Yeah.
And I can, I can vouch for you, Garrison, and the last three, 3
1/2 years, whatever it's been, you've been, you've been that
shoulder that I can lean on. And, and you know, you've given

(01:12:50):
me some really sound advice evenat the time at times.
Give me a kick up the ass as well.
You're welcome. Just what I needed.
But I think we're both being there for each other and that's
that's the main thing that, you know, like people come into your
lives for a reason and, and, anda season as well.

(01:13:13):
And, and the theatre, you know, often we're projecting our
things where, where, how, how weshowing up and how the energy
we're putting out 13 day reflects back to us in terms of
how we're behaving, how we're showing up.
So people in your life that actually, you know, reflect that

(01:13:35):
information back to you. They're not actually bad people.
They're actually do care about you.
They're just showing you where there's opportunities for you to
potentially becoming a better version of yourself.
And, and it wasn't, yeah, it wasn't until I, I realised that
I think it was last year that mylife has changed.

(01:13:56):
I mean, I've struggled for the last 10 years, 11 years into
relation relationships and all of a sudden I'm now in a 10
month relationship. So there.
We go be for anyone in life is knowing that you can't fix
anybody except yourself. You can't change anybody.
They might choose to behave differently for you, but in the

(01:14:19):
end, it'll still go back to how they are.
So the best thing you can do foranybody you love, who needs
whatever support, care, whateverthat is, the best thing you can
ever do for anybody is improve yourself.
When you grow and improve those around you get permission to
grow and improve as well. So don't focus on anybody else,

(01:14:43):
Focus on your. Own exactly Yep, absolutely
okay, Garrison, we're now at thequick fire Christian.
So I trust trust that you are really for some really quick
fire answers. You can answer in a single word
or a short sentence. The first question is what is
your definition of success and has that definition changed for

(01:15:04):
you over time? I guess for a long time in my
early years, I didn't really understand what success actually
was. I mean, there's the typical
thing that society says, you know, it's like great job, great
income, kids, family. What picket fence company thing
going on? Unfortunately, I learnt when I

(01:15:25):
was a young man that that real success and that, and this is
how I identify, is that when youhave raised the next generation
with a legacy that empowers them, then you are successful.
If you use whatever resources you have acquired to the benefit

(01:15:45):
of others, yes, then you've beensuccessful.
Yeah, I like what I think now says.
The definition of success for him was if you're moving
forward, then you're successful.Yeah.
Who's been your greatest inspiration and why?
I think the longest standing inspiration for me has been my

(01:16:06):
mum because she's been such a role model in terms of
perseverance, in terms of still doing your best regardless.
And and also, no, I have to serve.
I mean, she had four boys. She was a crazy woman.

(01:16:28):
She used to get up at 6:00 in the morning and make all our
sandwiches when we're kids all the way through when we left
home. So she, she was very giving.
I can't say I ever did that for my children, but but yeah,
she's, she's been a very critical person in my life
because she's been, you know, a source of stability and

(01:16:53):
consistency in my life. Umm, yeah, absolutely.
What is something that you believe that others might
disagree with? My things I think one of the
things that that is becoming more understood out there is how

(01:17:13):
sex ruins the start of relationships.
Not what any male wants to hear.Ohh we all learned the hard way
in most things but what people don't understand is how you sex
happens within the 1st first fewmeetings together or in the

(01:17:36):
first number of months. It actually sabotages our
ability to think constructively and analyse things better so
that we can be more objective about the other person.
And this is where a lot of incompatibility happens with
couples, not just sex, but just,you know, racing around with all

(01:18:01):
these different expectations andnot taking the time to get to
deny somebody. Because I'm pretty sure that if
people took the time to get to know somebody first, they
probably never had sex with themat all.
So that's, that's probably controversial in today's age,
but that's, it's, it's a proven thing.

(01:18:22):
Find the courage to do what you want to do, to be who you know
you should be. Lovely, What is 1 message that
you'd like to share with the world?
I think if the world can stop trying to teach us, tell us,
sell us what we should be and what we shouldn't be and allowed

(01:18:45):
each other to find themselves, then I think we would be in a
very happier world. And the last question is, what
does it mean to you to be a champion and to have a champion
mindset? Well, it means I get to be part
of your club, Anthony. No, but what does it mean to

(01:19:07):
you? Well, if you don't champion
yourself, it won't matter how much encouragement anybody else
gives you. You've got you've got to take
the borough confidence in yourself.
Regardless of what you tend to think about yourself, you are
believe, because it is true, that there's always a better

(01:19:29):
version of you coming up the road.
Awesome, thank you so much, Gerard Garrison for sharing your
story and your wisdom with us today.
It's your honesty, your insights, powerful reminder that
no one has to face challenges alone.
If you are a man feeling lost ordisillusioned or you care about
someone who is, remember that there is hope and there is help.

(01:19:54):
So reach out to someone, keep the conversation going, reach
out for support and know that your journey matters.
Thank you for listening and until next time, I just want to
say you are loved, you are worthy.
Champion your life, champion your greatness and have an
amazing day.

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S2-E142 - Men in the Modern World with Garrison Pearse

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}S2-E142 - Men in the Modern World with Garrison Pearse