S2-E151 - Turning Pain into Power: Overcoming Life’s Greatest Challenges with Robert B Foster - Champion Mindset Collective

Episode Transcript
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(00:02):
Starting with my childhood, I'm the youngest of seven and for
whatever reason, I got the genetic short stroke.
I was short, I was skinny. I have skin tags on my right
ear. And I had a bad start.
Getting teased was an everyday thing.
So I walk in to see my outdoor track coach and I asked him for
the record book. And he looked at me like, this

(00:22):
is my mentor, you know, saying that to me.
And I was like, cause I'm going to break the high jump, right?
And he says, you don't have whatit takes to be a high jumper.
It's like, why don't you go try hurdles?
And that's the epitome of tryingto clip someone's wing going
back to the hospital. So the doctor takes off the
brace and within seconds he's just like, ohh, you're never
gonna run or jump again. I said, so I'm not even gonna

(00:44):
entertain with this dude just said, and we're going to have
the surgery and I'm gonna work like crazy every single day
until I can first walk because Iwent home in a wheelchair and a
Walker. So I'm going to first walk,
we're going to work on running and then going to get back to
jump. And that was my reality every
single day. So once that thing that you want

(01:04):
to do is bigger than you and it helps the greater good, nobody
can knock you off that path. Like people hit snooze cause
they're going to do something that's not fulfilling for them.
So when you get to that level, the self doubt pretty much just
erases itself because now you'vereconciled your own past, you've
dialled in your own stories, andnow you have a vision to help

(01:25):
other people, which now turns into purpose.
What if the very pain that triedto break you was the key to
unlocking your greatest strength?
Today's guest was told that he would never jump or run again,
yet he went to compete on in nearly 200 typical races and won
16 gold medals. His journey proves that

(01:46):
resilience isn't just about surviving, it's about rising
higher than you ever imagined. Welcome back to the Champion
Monster collective podcast. I'm grateful that you here
watching or listening to this episode would love for you to
share this episode with your friends, your family and your
work mates. And please subscribe so that we
can get this out to the wider world.
This episode is sponsored by AI Work Flows Agency, where if your

(02:09):
business is struggling with repetitive tasks, then hey,
we're here to help you give you back that freedom, reclaim your
time and scale faster and grow faster.
So there will be a link in the show notes.
Click on it, get in touch with me, let's have a chat.
Well, today's guest is Robert B Foster, a transformational
speaker, coach, author and the host of Shut Up and Grind

(02:33):
podcast. From donating a kidney to her
sister to losing his father to defying life changing injury,
Roberts story is 1 of grit, resilience and relentless
pursuit of purpose. His mission is to help others
conquer self doubt, embrace the struggles and rewire their

(02:55):
narratives into one of strength and success.
Robert, welcome to the Champion Mindset Collective podcast.
How you doing? Thank you for having me.
Are we honoured to have you here?
Thank you so much, Robert. Before we go into a whole lot of
questions, I'd love for you to share your journey in life from
childhood and what are some of the key moments in your life
there were highlights or challenges that you overcame?

(03:16):
I mean, from what you what, whatwe've already experienced and
from what I've seen so far, it sounds like it's been phenomenal
and we'd love to hear it from you.
Yeah, so starting with my childhood, I'm the youngest of
seven and for whatever reason, Igot the genetic short straw.
So I was short, I was skinny. I have skin tags on my right

(03:41):
ear, and I had a bad stutter. So getting teased was an
everyday thing. Just constantly being teased.
It's like you're you're so small.
What are those things on your ears?
And people would make fun of me because I couldn't speak, you
know, saying mom was like mom, mom.
And then they like mom. And so it was very, very, it was

(04:02):
very frustrating. I mean, overall, I had a very
good upbringing. You know, my parents were very,
very supportive. They pushed us.
It was just that genetic shortfall.
Like my brothers were big. They were muscular, should say
they were tall, not big. But you know, they were just
bigger than me. And just watching them excel in

(04:23):
all of their sports, watching them earn medals, ribbons,
trophies, awards, getting their names in the newspaper.
And I wanted that. I was like, what's wrong with
me? I'm like how come mom the only
one that's different? It's like why am I short?
Why am I skinny? Why do I have the skin tags?
How come I can't speak without stuttering?
So growing up, it's like thinking that there's something

(04:45):
wrong with me. And so one of the first
breakthroughs when I saw our speech pathologists, I believe
this was from 6 to 8th grade, I'm not mistaken.
Or 5th, 5th to 7th, one of those.
And the pathologist was just like Robert, there's nothing
wrong with you. He's like, you just have to slow
down. I was like, really is that
simple? It's like they just slow down.

(05:07):
And what I found in life is likethe answers to a lot of the
problems if it's right there already.
Like we like to over complicate things, but the real defining
moment moment was as a freshman to illustrate how small I was, I
was 5 foot 488 lbs, right? That's tiny for freshmen.

(05:30):
Like to put it in perspective, when one of my twin boys was 61,
about 1:30 as a freshman, right?So, so that's how little I was.
But with the defining moment came was my brothers.
I mean, my sisters were were excelling too.
But obviously being a boy, like I wanted to beat my brothers and

(05:53):
my brothers would walk around with their, with their records
written on T-shirts and stuff and, and I wrote them all down,
right. So I walked in to see my outdoor
track coach and I asked him for the record book.
And he looked at me like, why doyou want the record book?
Now? This is my coach, this is my
mentor, you know, saying that tome.

(06:13):
And I was like, because I'm going to break the high jump
record and he says you don't have what it takes to be a high
jumper. He's like, why don't you go try
hurdling, say, and that's the epitome of trying to clip
someone's wings, right? So in that moment, right in that
moment, I had two choices. I can listen to him give up the
dream of high jumping and I I can go hurdle or I can believe

(06:38):
in myself and figure my dad is 6foot.
I mean, my grandfather was actually the shortest of all of
us, but so I was hoping I didn'tget that passed down.
But I was like, my dad's over 6 foot and my two brothers are
over 6 foot. So it's a very good odds that
I'm eventually going to grow. So I was like, no, I was like, I
want a high jump or I quit the team.

(06:59):
I was like, those those are the options.
So he's like fine, go, go high jump.
And so now to his point as that freshman, I didn't do great in
the high jump, you know, becauseagain, I hadn't built into my
genetics yet, but the mindset was there, the work ethic was
there and I and I just needed the two to join.

(07:19):
So as as a sophomore, I grew a little, I think it was around
5-7 as a sophomore, but then between sophomore and junior
year, I grew to six one and thensenior year 662.
And so I ended up breaking the high jump record, the Southern
Division triple jump record, thepentathlon record and I was on

(07:40):
the record setting 4 by 100 metre team, which I think we
broke the record five times thatseason.
And it's not even about breaking, breaking the record.
It's about going back to what that coach said, telling me I
didn't have what it took. And that's that's the take away
that I want people to get When Ishare that story is so many

(08:01):
times we let other people talk us out of what it is that we
truly want to do. And I chose to believe in myself
and forge that path and understanding that journey.
As I get into my other stories later, people will understand.
Like that's how I became who I am now.
Yeah, there's an amazing that the answers that we look for are

(08:23):
in the stillness of of life. And as you mentioned before, as
we slow down the the answers come and you know, we're we're
we're so much in a rush these these days, everything is
instant and we just need to slowdown.
We slow down life. You know, our body tells us, our
life tells us. And you know, mindset is such a

(08:44):
big thing because when you're sitting a good mindset, you're
actually sitting the frequency of how your energy is vibrating.
And we often being told by people, other people's
perceptions of what we can achieve, but only we know our
limits. And you know, have you ever been
in a, in a, in a situation wheresomeone says, ohh, you can't do
that. I'm like, well, how do you know?

(09:05):
You know, And for for me, from aquite a young age, for me it was
the same way people would say, ohh, you, you can't do that.
So let me show you. And they were like, what?
Yeah, let me show you. And yeah.
Interesting. In the introduction, you you
gave a kidney to your sister. I have something in common.
We we both have a kidney. One kidney.

(09:26):
I was mine was taken out of birth because it wasn't
functioning. And I was, I was three months
prior. And yeah, 15 days out.
I waited about a pound. Wow.
So talk about talk about small. I was like, tiny.
Thank you, Robert, for sharing all of that.

(09:48):
It's, you know, I can imagine some of it would would have.
Yeah, they'll be, they'll be allsorts of emotions attached to
all of those scenarios and situations that happened.
Could you tell us a little bit about turning paint the past
pain into the present power? What does it mean to you to turn

(10:09):
pain into power? So since I started my podcast
journey and hearing from guests from all over the world, just
hearing the things that people have gone through that people
get stuck in pain because they're stuck in the what right,
they're stuck on what happened like this happened to me.

(10:30):
And not to not to, you know, call people people victims, but
that that is kind of a victim mindset.
It's like this happened to me. I'm mad about it, I'm upset
about it, I'm sad about it. And then you end up staying in
that perpetual feeling. So when you think about one hour
after what happened happened, that's where you pick up the

(10:53):
story because you need that first hour to just kind of come
to the realisation. Like, wow, this just happened.
Like watching my father pass away.
Like if I if I stuck and if I get stuck in his last minute of
life, I'm never going to heal. It's like, it's like I'm already
never going to unseat it. But if when we left that room in

(11:14):
the hospital, when we left that room, that's where the story
begins. It's like, how did, how did
whatever happen to you? How did that not break you?
That's the story, right? People lose parents everyday.
Like that wasn't some phenomenonthat only happened to me and my
family, right? Death is unfortunately, it's a

(11:35):
part of life. So it's coming for all of us,
right? It's undefeated.
So how you react to what happened, that's where you find
the golden Nuggets and that's where you can slip into a place
of gratitude. Like I've interviewed countless
people on my show who never knewtheir father or had an abusive
father or just had an absent father.

(11:56):
You know, father passed away in the womb in Vietnam with what?
What am I guess? So I was 45 when my dad passed.
So I had 45 years of memories. Memories where he made me laugh,
memories where he inspired me, where he encouraged me to be
better, where he made me work hard.
We got to watch him work hard and never give up on the things

(12:19):
that he wanted, and that broughtme to a place of gratitude.
It's like not everybody can say that.
So yes, losing him, having to end care, watching him die,
watching the colour leave his face, watching his eyes get big
and his head slowly turn and then he's gone, You know, it's

(12:40):
like all of that happened. And I had a podcast scheduled
the very next day, and it would have been easy, right?
The world would have forgiven meif I cancelled that episode.
But I always preach about showing up no matter what life
throws at you. If you're tired, show up.
If you're not motivated, show up.
You know, no matter what it is. If you're running late, show up.

(13:01):
A couple minutes late, show up. So I showed up that day.
And who would have thought because my guest scheduled
probably four to five months prior that that episode was
going to be about grief, you know, in that like I was meant
to be there in that moment with that guest as her son got
murdered at 29. So that was the most tearful

(13:24):
episode that I've ever given. But I opened the show with a
tribute to my father. I'm bowling because it's fresh
now with only a day old, right? So I'm balling, my guest comes
on and you know, cause like I keep the guests backstage while
I do will I do the intro? So I bring her on and she's
already ball and just from listening to me, but just being

(13:46):
there, raw, vulnerable, it was such a release.
And so that every episode that Idid that had to deal with grief
or loss, you know, like I'd still get choked up, but it just
got easier and it got easier andit got easier.
And now someone going through pain.
So my pain has become a superpower because I can help

(14:07):
that person navigate their pain,you know, those 7 stages of
grief because like, I've lived it myself.
So it's one thing to hit and youknow, I'm not and I'm not
knocking therapists and counsellors and and all that,
but it's good to hear from someone who went through what
you're currently going through Like, and I can tell you from
from experience, you know, I've been through a messy divorce.

(14:30):
I had one of my other sisters near nearly died from a brain in
aneurysm burst and trying to raise my own kids and be
uplifting for my fitness clientsand be uplifting for my podcast
audience, knowing that I could lose my sister at any second.
It's like those are real things that that we have to process.
And so once you get those stories dialled in, and then you

(14:53):
move past the what, and then youreally start looking at how you
moved on from it, that's when the Golden Nugget show up.
Wow. Yeah.
You know, it's, it's so interesting.
We have a a little bit in common.
I think my father passed around about the same age as you.
Yeah. He was like my right arm, you
know, when he left, it was like my right arm had fallen off.

(15:15):
And I was like, you know, and, but you know, like, it made me
remember all of the things that he taught me as I was growing
up. I didn't spend a lot of time
with him because I spent a lot of time in, in, in a boarding
school in India, which was crossed between army and prison
effectively. And, you know, like the time

(15:39):
that I did spend with him and, and the wisdom that he gave me
was, well, you know, has set me up for for the future.
And you're right, you know, it'sabout showing up.
It's about it's no matter what you're going through, it's about
showing up. It's about being your authentic
self. And no matter what happens, it's
just about keep pushing through,keep, keep moving forward.

(16:00):
Yeah. For So for you, was the was the
knee injury the specific moment where everything shifted for
you? Pretty much.
I mean, I've been doubted a lot in my life, but that 1 was
definitely the biggest one because I have no shortage of
confidence. So like, like when people doubt
me, I'm like, yeah, just sit back and observe.

(16:21):
It's like, I got this. But with this one now, it came
from a doctor, you know, It camefrom a doctor.
And so in that moment, I gave that doctor too much power and I
realised at the end of the day, he's just a human, right?
He's just a human being. And so when I heard those words,

(16:43):
because I was competing in in a track meet, which is why the
gold medal thing was relevant tothe story.
It's not just, again, it's not just just the flex, like, hey, I
did that, but it happened at a track meet where I planted to
jump in the high jump and then Isaw white for a second.
Like I don't know how long I sawwhite, but when I came back, my

(17:03):
knee, my knee cap was like aboutfour inches up my quadricep.
And so yeah, yeah, it was, it was a pretty bad injury.
Like the athletic trainer comes running over and I had my hands
like this over my knee. So she couldn't initially see it
and so I told her that I called for my now ex to call an
ambulance and she's like, oh, she's like, I'm not so sure

(17:24):
you're gonna need an ambulance. And then I move my hands and she
was like, Oh my God. She's like, how are you not
screaming in pain right now? I was like, ohh, this I was
like, I can't feel, this is like, this is completely numb.
I was like, but more importantly, how do I get my 2
gold medals? Because even though I got hurt,
I had still won my age bracket and I had won the long jump
earlier. And so she's like, that's what

(17:46):
you're worried about right now? I'm like, well, I have to wait
for the ambulance, so I may as well grab my medals, right?
So from from there, again, goingback to the hospital.
So the doctor takes off the brace and within seconds he's
just like, ohh, you're never going to run or jump again.
Like and look me right in my eyes, you know, and my eyes

(18:07):
started to fill up, you know, with tears without I'm a super
active dude, you know, from hiking.
I meant I managed some fitness business.
It's like I'm constantly doing obstacle races, running track
meets and just doing whatever I can to play basketball,
volleyball. I was in the softball league.
Like I'm a super active dude andmy my now ex had just given

(18:29):
birth to twin boys my 4th and 5th children.
So now the ages were were 962 and the twins were four months.
And then I get told I'll never be able to run or jump again.
So initially I hung on those words, right?
And at my core, I'm a competitorin every aspect of life.

(18:50):
I look at it as a competition. So at first I start going down
that rabbit hole. I look up at Kelly.
She's she's got tears in her eyes because she knows how
active I am and how devastating it would be to not be able to
play basketball with my kids. So, you know, go hiking, go rock
climbing. We like doing or any of that
stuff that requires the strengthin your lower body.

(19:13):
But then competitor me jumped out and was like, this guy
doesn't know who we are. It's like we haven't even had
the surgery yet. How you going to tell me how I'm
going to heal? And the example that I give to
people, if you break your arm and you need surgery to have it
reset, that surgery doesn't healyou.

(19:34):
They put a cast on and the body heals itself.
And what is in control of the body?
The mind, the mind, I said. So I'm not even gonna entertain
with this dude just said to me and we're going to have the
surgery and I'm going to work like crazy every single day
until I can first walk because Iwent home in a wheelchair in a

(19:57):
Walker. I said, so I'm gonna first walk,
we're gonna work on running and then going to get back to
jumping. And that was my reality every
single day that I did not let that those doctors words cloud
my mind and I let my mind and mybody go to work.
Yeah, that's, that's amazing. Just that relentless, you know,

(20:19):
pursuit of, of going after what you're called to do and, and who
you are. Really.
Yeah. So for someone listening right
now who feels stuck in their pain, what is the first step
they can take? The first step you can take is
to know what you want and to be surprised.
A lot of people have no clue. It's like, I'll work with
someone. I'm like, all right, what are we

(20:40):
working towards? Like, yeah, I don't know.
Like, what do you mean you don'tknow?
Like we don't know. You can't.
You can't put the right steps inlike when people come into the
gym and they always start with vague goals.
Ohh. I just want to be healthier.
It's like if you're not drinkingenough water today and you start
drinking enough water tomorrow, you're technically healthier.
And it's like, so we need to geta little more specific.

(21:02):
And so it's like, alright, I want to lose weight, Okay, how
much weight I want to lose 15 lbs.
OK, what's that going to do for you?
Right. And you want to get down to the
heart of what it is that you want to do.
Like I just did a first, my first live.
Like I started a Facebook group called Veterans Voices.
So the programme that that I run, I can help anybody get

(21:24):
through any pain. But you also don't want to be
broad. So my father lived with PS PTSD
from Vietnam and he never ever spoke about the war.
His last month of life we went up to the VA office to apply for
benefits for my mom. You know, because we knew
eventually we were going to loseand in order to get the

(21:47):
benefits, he had to tell what happened to him.
And I never knew. I never knew this story.
So I found out right there in real time.
But just to watch his body language when the woman came in,
it was funny too, because she came in all Willy nilly.
Like you can tell they do that every single day.
So she comes in, she's like, So what you been through?
Like all cheery, you know, So myfather, he's at first he's like,

(22:12):
I can't do this. Like I, I can't do this today.
And I was like, well, today is all we have it said.
So we're all here. Just take your time, couple deep
breaths and then when you're ready, just share what happened.
And so he puts his head down. And now my dad, he was a manly
man, you know, like I've outsideof funerals, I've never seen him

(22:33):
cry outside of funerals. Like he was that guy.
He probably said I love you twice, but he always showed it,
like he always showed up. It's like you felt it.
He just never verbalised it. And so he puts his head down
like his shoulders was all kind of shrugged and I start seeing
teardrops hitting the table and I was like, well like what is

(22:58):
happening right now? Like, my dad never cries.
And so then he lifts his head upand then he just unloads.
And it's not Even so much of thewhat he shared.
It's like he held that in for six decades.
He held that in and doing what I, what I do now, it's like I, I

(23:21):
could have helped him navigate that, you know, So he's, he's no
longer with us, but there's still veterans among us now that
are still living some nightmare that they went through.
And that's why that group is near to me.
Like I have friends who are veterans.
It's like me, myself, I, I neverserved, but I had siblings,

(23:42):
cousins, aunts, uncles, friends that have have served and I've
heard so many different stories.I've interviewed countless
veterans on my podcast and just the things that they've seen,
things that they've had to do and things that were done to
them. Just countless stories out
there. And the rate of male suicide is

(24:03):
still pretty high. So I want to create the police a
community where veterans can come and have that space to
where they can share what happened to them or if they need
guidance, to where I can help them really face what happened,
but help them find the golden Nuggets and what they went

(24:24):
through. So they didn't go through all
that for nothing. Yeah, yeah, totally agree with
you. Why do you believe prioritising
yourself is so essential in and your personal and professional
growth and what are some of the common barriers that that help
people back from doing this? So I hate answering questions

(24:46):
with a question, but have you ever been inspired by someone
who's working below their potential?
Yeah, absolutely. Yeah.
So that person, if they actuallywork to their potential, they're
going to inspire more people, right?
So when you hold yourself back, like over here where it says

(25:08):
unleash, right, when, when you are fully unleashed, then you
have the potential to change people's lives, right?
Like it's not, it's not just about you.
You know, I tell people in anything, in any adventure, even
in here, if people want to lose weight, you're not losing weight
for you. You're losing weight for your
coworker. You're going to be an example

(25:29):
for your kids. You're going to be a better
spouse to your significant other, right?
You're going to shine in the workplace.
It's like it's gonna enhance every aspect of your life.
It's not just about what you want to accomplish.
So when you have it, when it's bigger than you, it's now a
purpose, right? It's a purpose.
It's like, yes, it's like, yes, I wrote a book, but the book,

(25:51):
the book isn't about me. It's about helping people
navigate their pain. So there's 15 chapters.
In the 15 chapters, there's 13 worksheets.
So when I tell you it's about the reader.
And these worksheets will help you take whatever it is that you
dealt with, that you've been through, that hurt you, that
traumatised you. And it's gonna help you really

(26:14):
dissect it and find out where those golden Nuggets are, like I
mentioned earlier, and then how you can take those and use it
for good. Like, again, going back to the
knee injury, it's like I look down now, like right now in real
time, I'm looking at this 6 inchscar going down my knee.
And I could say the yeah, I couldn't, I couldn't high jump

(26:38):
for seven years or I couldn't really run for, you know, almost
two years. And and I could go into all the
woes me stuff, but now it's not about that.
It's like I was told something and I made a decision that you
can't decide that for me, right?It's like you can't decide that
that for me. It's like I am now on a mission.

(26:58):
It has nothing to do with proving that doctor wrong is had
to do with getting me back back to me.
Like I don't I don't do what I do in my world to prove other
people wrong. Like if I have my eyes locked on
something, I'm going to do what I have to do to make it come to
fruition. And that's that's what I want
other people to understand is you have it all inside of you

(27:20):
already. You just have to decide to turn
it up. You know, it's like I lost
everything early 2023 and I wentinto a dark place, like a deep,
deep dark place. When I tell you I lost my car, I
lost my house, my children were split up, I had nowhere to live.
I was literally homeless for sixdays and I went into that sunken

(27:42):
place and what pulled me out of it was, believe it or not, I
restarted my podcast because at first I had paused that because
I'm like, how can I get up here and be motivational when I'm in
a pizza hell right now? So I paused it.
But when I restarted it, my veryfirst guest, it's like I
restarted it so she could schoolme.

(28:04):
You know, hindsight being 2020, like I wasn't schooling her, she
was schooling me. And I started coaching again.
And that very first practise litmy soul right back up because
for a second I was going to pivot away from fitness.
And once I got in just watching those students, just soaking

(28:26):
everything I was saying and watching them apply it and
watching them excel, I was like,this is my lame.
It's like this is where I belong.
And then once I got focused again, everything started
falling into place. Like all the positive
opportunities just started appearing.
I didn't talk to 1 counsellor. I didn't we not reading out one
self help book. I've no not one self help

(28:49):
podcast. I just got realigned again with
my purpose and here we are. Yeah, absolutely.
You know, your mindset helped you reignite that.
You know, it was a feel that reignited that that passion and
that purpose and within you to unleash your potential because I
looking like you. I've been in a while, I've been

(29:10):
doing this podcast. I've had moments where I've felt
like I'm not good enough or ohh,this is happening in my life.
A situation has happened and it's because of that I'm feeling
I can't go on the podcast. And then it went hang, hang on.
You're the you're the host of the Champion Mindset Monica
podcast and you call yourself a champion.

(29:32):
And at that moment I bang, you know, kicked back into gear and
off I go. Yes, how?
How can the listeners apply the same mindset and the same amount
of resilience when they're told that you can't do something or
or something seems so impossibleto achieve or they have that
self doubt. How can they apply that in their
own lives? So their conviction has to be

(29:54):
strong. Like if you're conviction is
strong, nobody can shake you. Like when I started my my
fitness business in 2009, it wasthe same year that I had the
knee injury. So like I had just finally
decided to leave the restaurant industry.
I'm going to pursue fitness and then I get this devastating knee
injury, right? So, so like it definitely wasn't
a good start, but also in 2009 we were in a recession And so

(30:18):
people are like, how are you going to start a business when
we're in a recession? It's like I'm not worried about
all that recession talk. I'm worried about focused be
getting focused on this goal because when I knew it was
bigger than just fitness was oneof my clients.
This is when playing a fitness was starting to pop up all over
the place. So I was only charging 50 bucks

(30:40):
a month then for 3/3 sessions a week because I didn't know any
better and So what? What are my clients?
She's coming to hand me a chequefor the month and she says,
before I give this to you, she said, I just want you to know, 2
minutes from my house, they justopened a brand new
state-of-the-art Planet Fitness for $10 a month.
She's like an unwilling to give you 5 times the amount because

(31:03):
you believed in me before I believed in myself.
And that's when I knew, alright,this is bigger than just losing
weight and gaining muscles. Like this is a whole mindset
shift. I was like, so I'm really like a
personal development coach that uses fitness as the platform.
And so then I knew that alright,this thing is going to happen

(31:27):
because now it's bigger than just I want to run a gym.
You know, it's like people, people get get started in things
without fully thinking it through.
And so I started slow. I let it go organically and then
in 2014, well officially Januaryof 2015, 2014, we, we bought it
and then we hit some zoning issues, but we opened up a 5000

(31:50):
square foot facility and we didn't open it with all the
bells and whistles cause like the average gym, they go under
and like 18 months, but because they get themselves $100,000 in
debt and then they have no clients.
So when we open, we opened with about 150 to 160 clients.
So we were profitable right fromthe very first month.

(32:11):
And the goal for that year was to make 100K.
We made 100K by May, you know, so it was, it was crazy.
And we didn't even focus on that.
We were just focused on getting people in, getting them moving,
getting them believing in themselves.
So once that thing that you wantto do is bigger than you and it

(32:33):
helps the greater good, nobody can knock you off that path.
It's like you're going to see itthrough.
When your alarm goes off, you'regoing to get up because now
you're working for someone else.Like people hit snooze because
they're going to do something that's not fulfilling to them.
They may like it, they they might be good at it, but if
you're hitting snooze, you're not fulfilled.

(32:54):
Yeah, absolutely. Yeah.
You know, you, you haven't got that, you haven't got the
purpose behind what, you know, why are you doing it?
And like people who are stuck injobs and they're like, ohh,
gotta get a job, you know, go tothis job.
Again, they're not really passionate about it.
There's not really, and you know, it's not part of their,
their, their purpose. So I don't encourage people who,

(33:17):
if you're, if you're going through that, really look at,
you know, is it really serving you?
If not, then look at something that's actually going to support
your vision and your purpose in life.
Power of storytelling us. So, so transformational.
How do you help others uncover their own personal stories?
Like, how do you help them really go deeper into what what

(33:39):
the narrative is and the storiesthat they're telling themselves?
Yeah, so I'll give you a real world one.
I was working with three women, right?
We were on a Zoom call. And so one of them survived a
stroke and a heart attack at theage of 34.
The second woman, she in her early 20s, watched her high

(34:03):
school sweetheart kill himself. And then the third one, she
goes, she goes to schools in their inner city and she creates
outdoor learning, learning environments.
And so when I got to the third one, she was like, I don't have
a story nearly as strong as theirs.

(34:23):
And I was like, why? She's like, well, this, this,
this one went through extreme loss, you know, witness an
extreme loss. So again, this went survived 2
life threatening things. I'm like, yeah, but your stories
isn't any less. And she's like, how so?
I was like, you said you grew uplike lower middle class, right?
You didn't have the things that the other kids had.

(34:45):
That said, your father was fortunate enough to get a better
paying job, moved you guys into the country and you fell in love
with nature. And now you could have just
taken that reality and just moved on with your life.
But a part of you wanted to giveback and help those inner city
kids experience nature because there's really no nature in the

(35:07):
cities, right? And so and so you're going to
these schools now and you're giving them something that they
that for a lot of them, because so many people that grew up in
the city stay in the city. So a lot of them may not get
that on an everyday basis unlessthey go on vacation.
I said, So what you're doing is absolutely amazing, you know,

(35:29):
and so I obviously went deeper in into it with her, but it's
how you look at your circumstance.
Like if someone says, ohh, I'm just a waitress at the breakfast
joint, I was like, OK, so you serve, people come in, you're
starting their day, you're interaction is starting their
day. It's like they can leave this

(35:49):
restaurant better than they camein because they interacted with
you, you know, said so it doesn't matter what you do if
you wash dishes, right? If you have a dishwasher that's
not good, you can have the best broil cook on earth that cooks
the perfect states steaks if there's nothing to put it on,
right? That business is going down if

(36:11):
there's no silverware, right? So all the jobs are important
again when you make it bigger than you.
Absolutely. Yeah, Yeah, when, Yeah, you're
so right. And you know, when we share our
struggles at this powerful, it'sa powerful tool for growth and

(36:31):
and for leadership as well. What advice would you give
someone who feels that their story isn't big enough to
inspire others? I would say you don't know that
until you tell it. It's like, how do you know?
If you don't think your story isbig enough, that just means that
you don't know how to tell it. Because going back to what I

(36:52):
said earlier, it doesn't matter what happens or what you
experienced. It's how did you get through it,
right? And I'll give another example.
I can take my knee journey, equate it to my mother's winning
battle with breast cancer and toa woman who's nine months
pregnant, right? And I love when I say this with

(37:14):
female hosts cause they always make a face whenever I say a
woman who's nine months pregnant, I say because right
now, initially you're thinking those three things aren't
related. And you're right, like cause
that's if you focus on the what?Now what I learned is that pain
is pain, right? So with me, I had to wake up

(37:35):
everyday and do what was necessary for me to walk again
and then run again and then jumpagain and then compete again.
My mother had to wake up everyday with the realisation
that she had breast cancer and she had to get up every morning
like 6:30 in the morning, drive to the hospital to get radiation
treatments. Like fortunately she didn't need

(37:55):
chemotherapy and as of today, she is cancer free.
And that woman who is 9 months pregnant, she has to wake up
with the reality that she's got a big old belly.
That baby's probably sitting on her bladder with a foot in the
rib cage. Her back hurts and her feet are
swollen, right. So each one of those three are
dealing with some level of pain.And that's what people have to

(38:17):
understand. It's the journey and how you
deal with that pain. And like, that's something that
I learned really from doing my show and just hearing what
people went through. And I've heard some doozies.
I'm sure you have too. And just but it's but it's how
you get through whatever it is you're experiencing.
That process is the same. Yeah, absolutely.

(38:39):
History will inspire others likeyou know, no matter what you've
been through, there is going to be someone that is going to be
able to relate to it in some shape or form.
And like you said, until you tell her, you don't know, you
know, and a lot of people have been, a lot of people have been
shot down and they, they're too scared to tell this story or, or

(39:01):
they have that low self esteem where they go, well, no one's
going to listen to me. And it's not, it's not really,
um, it's not really, you know, I'm not worthy to, to share my
story. So let's talk about self doubt,
right? Self doubt and building
confidence. What are some of the practical
steps that someone can take today and start overcoming their

(39:22):
self doubt? Okay, so I want to tell you a
quick story and then I'll directly answer the question.
So when am I one of my personal training clients?
She comes into the gym and I could tell she had been crying,
right? So, you know, she's like, can I
talk to you? I'm like, yeah, of course you
can. And because like I tell all all
my clients, I'm like, I do like life coaching too.

(39:44):
So if you guys ever are going through something and you just
need to talk to me, I'm like, come to me.
So she came to me. We go in the office and we spent
her whole session talking, right?
So the first part, she and her daughter had gotten into a car
accident. And I guess her daughter had a
really bad ankle injury. So she's bawling her eyes out
now. And she's like, you know, the

(40:07):
doctors told her that she's, she's not going to be able to
walk again, right? And, and I stopped right there.
I said, whoa, whoa, whoa. I said, you know the story of my
knee. I said, don't get that into your
daughter's head. I said, cause the brain controls
the body. I said you get that into her
head, the body's going to respond accordingly.
Has said so you gotta let her know when you walk again not if

(40:31):
no maybes it's like you got to speak that with conviction like
when you walk again and I believe it was four months later
she started walking again. You know, so, so to to your
point, let me just read a coupleof of the chapters in in my
book. So chapter 1 is there's nothing

(40:53):
wrong with you. Like how we started this with me
having the stutter and the skin tags and being short and skinny
thinking that there's something wrong with me.
And there wasn't like with the speech, I just had to slow.
I had to slow down with my genetics.
I had to be patient. You know, with the skin tags, I
still have them. Like I forget that they're there
sometimes. Like I'm shaving is like, ohh,

(41:14):
yeah, I have those, you know, soit's one of those things that
you just have to come to grips with.
There's nothing wrong with you. You know how a tragic injury was
the best thing to happen to me. Like I said, people get stuck on
the what? But I took that moment and
turned it into a movement, you know, so like, you can get stuck
on that and beat yourself up on it and stay in that, that pain

(41:38):
of depression, or you can take what happened and do something
with it. You know, the pain of your past
is fuel for a better future. You know, we discussed that
earlier. Prioritising yourself without
the guilt. You know, what to do before
setting a goal. And there I get into how to
build a supportive tribe, becoming who you need to be to
reach your goals, you know, But it starts, it starts with

(42:00):
clarity of vision. Like I said earlier, you have to
know what you want, not what you're interested in.
Because there's idea, there's goal, and then there's vision,
right? So if you can get yourself to
vision, you'll be unstoppable. A lot of people have an idea.
I want to write a book, right? A goal is I want to write a book

(42:20):
that helps abuse victims, right?That's a goal.
But a vision is, I want to reach100,000 people in the next three
years to have them speaking withclarity, speaking with
confidence and owning their past, right?
That's a vision, right? So when you can get to that
level, the self doubt, it prettymuch just erases itself because

(42:42):
now you've reconciled your own past, you've dialled in your own
stories, and now you have a vision to help other people.
Now turns into purpose. You know, once you reach
purpose, self doubt goes away. Do you know the word moment?
The word moment that you said before?
You put vision and empowerment into the middle of that word and

(43:04):
it spells movement. Hmm, I like that.
I like it. I just thought of it as you were
saying it. It's like when you have a moment
when you have a situation and you have a vision and you
empower yourself, then you can then, then you've got movement
and then you can start to reignite and inspire and unleash

(43:26):
yourself. And I'm just using the words
that are behind you, right? Yes.
So you've gotta shut your mind out of your brain up and you've
got to give it to the chatter and you going to start telling a
positive stories and positive words, which are then going to
help you push through that the challenge that you're going

(43:47):
through. So remember that when you,
whenever you're going through a moment, if you have a vision and
you have the empowerment, then you're going to be moving
forward and unleashing your fullpotential.
So how do you personally grow confidence even after all of
your achievements? Reps.
Right. Right, it's, it's, it sounds

(44:09):
simple, right? It sounds simple, but it's rats.
It's reps Like I said earlier when I was talking about my dad,
when I first told the story, I bowled like a baby.
The next time I bowled, but not as much.
And like, like now, even if I tell it from January when he got
sick to November when he passed away, if I tell the entire
timeline, I can't get through itwithout getting choked up.

(44:31):
And that's fine. And a message for the men out
there. If we weren't meant to cry, we
wouldn't have teared. Acts like it's okay to let that
vulnerability, Joe, that's, that's true strength.
There's nothing wrong with that whatsoever.
So what was the original question taken?
How do you personally grow in confidence even after all the

(44:54):
OHH yes all the achievements here?
Yeah, so like my first podcast episode.
So I, I go back and I watch it. It's like I've always been a
good speaker, but interviewing people.
I did the, the old school send me like 1010 questions and
talking points and send me all this stuff and, and I would go
through and I and I just didn't,I didn't like that form because

(45:17):
people send safe questions. You know, like I said to you
when you sent me the outline, I'm like, I'm not even reading
that. This is like, because I want, I
want the questions you asked me.I want my answers to be raw and
authentic, like like I don't wanna free pre think about what
I wanna say. Like I just want it to come out
raw and in the moment. So, so yeah, Rep so the next

(45:41):
episode. No, then the next episode and
then the next episode. And now I've done 368.
So like I got it down. So like I don't I don't even
read people's BIOS half the time.
It's like, I might scan it. I might scan it just in case if
the conversation gets stuck, butit's rare.
Out of the 368, I've had two to where I actually had to drag the

(46:03):
guests through the interview. So those those are the ones that
I do a hard stop at 30 minutes. I'm like, okay, thank, thank you
for coming. You know, it's like you're not
giving me enough. You know, it's like you're not
managing my energy. Yeah.
So yeah. But that's all it is.
Yeah, I had one where I had to, after every question, a person
had to look at their phone, turnto look at their notes.

(46:25):
And I'm like, come on, just talkfrom experience, you know?
And I was like, this is painful.Exactly.
It's like, so it's like when I watch people give, give speeches
like, and they have the speech written down, you know, it's
like, it's like, that's not, that's not from the heart.
You know, it's like, I can get up and I could give a one hour

(46:47):
speech with 0 preparation, you know, because again, because my,
and that's not because I'm special or anything.
I've gone through speaker boot camps and speaker trainings like
like I went through professionaltraining and they help you
reconcile all of your stories and how to weave them together.
Like in this one. How, how long have we been
talking? About 50 minutes.

(47:09):
And we spoke about my knee injury.
We spoke about my mom having cancer.
We spoke about the plight of a pregnant woman who nine months
pregnant. We spoke about my other sister
and her brain aneurysm burst andmy sister with the kidney
donation. It's like so many different
things into one major topic, youknow, overcoming self doubt,
right? So when you have your stories

(47:30):
reconciled, everything is it's so much easier to get on any
platform and to talk because youknow how to use what parts of
each story for whatever the question the host is asking.
Absolutely, Yeah. It's been such a awesome
conversation and I have got somequestions which I haven't seen

(47:51):
you yet which coming up which are quick fire ones.
So that's going to, that's goingto get you going to be flying at
the seat of your pants for that one.
Yeah. Can you can you share a story
from your Shut Up and Grind interviews?
She one story that really out ofthe 348, was it 340?

(48:12):
868. 68 yeah, I'm up to 149 which is gonna lend lend today.
Um, so almost had that 150 mark.I think your episode is going to
be 100 one 5151 you'll be 151. So there you go.
Ohh and I've been doing this forjust just under three years.

(48:33):
So next in two months time, it will be 3 years that I've been
doing this podcast. How long have you been posting?
Five years. Five years.
Nice. So can you assure she one
specific interview that deeply impacted your perspective on
resilience? So the one that stands out, this

(48:56):
woman and her husband, they werein the Congo.
No, not Congo. I'm sorry.
They're from South Africa and the husband went on a missions
trip in Congo and while he was there, he was kidnapped by Congo
rebels. He's kidnapped and so they had
him call his wife every night and they would beat and torture

(49:22):
him, and they ended each phone call with a gunshot.
So she didn't know if he was dead or alive.
And this happened every night. I don't remember the time frame
because that was probably 250 episodes ago.
So like, I don't remember all ofthe details, but just imagine

(49:42):
being in those shoes where you're a mom, two small kids,
your husband's been captured andevery single night you get to
listen to him being tortured by these Congo rebels, ending every
phone call with a gunshot. Fortunately, he was rescued and
he did survive. So it's one of those things on

(50:05):
both, on both sides. Imagine being tortured everyday,
you know, so it's like and having to deal with that
reality. And then on the wife's end, on
the kids end, where's daddy? And as the mom, how are we gonna
be like, ohh, he got captured and he's getting crap beat out
of him everyday, you know what Imean?
So like this multiple fronts of of Brazilians there.

(50:25):
And out of all the episodes thatI've done, that's the one that
really stands out the most because there was so much
uncertainty there. And for the mom having to be
strong for the kids, you know, for the husband having the will
to survive that, Yeah, it's absolutely amazing.
Like that, that story at some point, I think, I think I'm

(50:47):
glad. I'm glad you you made me brought
that up. So I think I want to go back and
get the husband's perspective onwhat he went through and feeling
helpless and powerless. And, you know, his family is out
there. Are they going to go after his
family? You know, like there's so many
things that was probably going through his mind as well.
That would be an amazing episodeto to really get his point of

(51:09):
view on it. Yeah, absolutely.
Yeah. Well, Robert, it's been it's
been amazing listening to you this episode.
Before we go into the quick firequestions, I'd like to, for you
to share and how can people get in touch with you if they, if
they, if they would like to comeand be part of your gym, but
also part of it, if you get somehelp or even be on your podcast

(51:30):
and, and, and like what, what are the, the ways that people
can connect with you? Yeah, I'd say as far as getting
help or being on the show, to e-mail rob@robertbfoster.com,
pretty simple. Instagram it's at Robert under

(51:50):
score B under score Foster, and on Facebook it's at Robert B
Foster. I actually have two and at our
Foster 74 and then the book is that Shut Up and grindbook.com.
Then the podcast is on all the podcast platforms.
Nice. Well, we'll put all that
information into the show notes,but we'll also have a page on my

(52:13):
on my Google sites that has all that information about you,
about this episode and the and the videos and so on on there so
that they can go to one place and be able to discover
everything about you in one place.
Nice, love it. So so started doing that end of
last year. Every guest now has a page.
And that was one of my visions of this podcast was that to

(52:37):
build a community of people thathave been on this podcast where
if people listened to an episode, they can actually go
and say, hey, look, I really enjoyed that episode.
I want to come get in contact with you.
My vision is one day to have this community where where a
platform where everyone can hosttheir own courses and allsorts
of different things, and my audience can come to one place

(53:00):
and be able to have access to, you know, to people.
Yeah. So where are they?
We're at the quick fire Christians now and you've go,
you've got 6 questions and this is rapid fire.
You can answer them in a single word or a single scene, short
sentence. First question is how do you

(53:20):
define success and has that definition evolved for you
overtime? So to me, success is doing
something that fulfils you. Like it's not necessarily a
financial amount. It's not things like a big
house, big car. Like for me, things don't move
me. I wake up everyday and
everything that I do has a purpose to it.

(53:41):
Whether it's here at the gym. I know with the background you
can't tell, but we're sitting ina gym.
But whether it's here, whether it's my podcast, whether I'm
guesting on other people's platforms, we're off season now,
but I coach indoor and outdoor track and field.
So I'm there for the athletes. I have my children.
Like everything I do is bigger than me.

(54:01):
And so to me already I see that as success.
And then once I expand this veterans programme, it's just
going to get even better. So like it doesn't feel like
work. Like I don't I don't on Tuesday.
I'm not saying Friday can't get here fast enough because I work
everyday. And then like, I'll take little
pockets of rest here or there because again, going back to you

(54:25):
gotta be working towards something.
I'm 51. I want the ability to retire by
the time of 55. It's like, I probably won't
retire, but I just want the option be like, I could walk
away right now and be good. So that's what it looks like to
me. Well, I'll be I'll be 55 next,
next year in February. So yeah, I'd love to be out of

(54:49):
retired in as well. Yeah.
Who? Who's been your greatest
inspiration and why? So the easy answer is my father,
right? But outside of my father, my
parents, you know, is Michael Jordan.
It's like just watching him, watching him growing up and just
even with him now as as a businessman, like he went from a

(55:14):
small town in North Carolina to one of the few billionaires in
the world and like his and his mindset was unwavering.
Now people say, oh, well, basketball's just just a game,
but but sports actually shape business to the business.
You're going to take lips. And on the court, he took his
share of lips and he rose through and created a dynasty.

(55:36):
And like just when you hear the behind the scenes stories, it's
simply simply amazing. And like, I'm honoured that I
got to watch him from the age of10 on.
Nice. What are something that you
believe that others may disagreewith?
Look at that. Finally a question of where I
have to think, because usually I'm right there with, with all

(55:57):
of my answers. Wow.
And all these interviews, somebody finally got me.
What do I believe that not? All right, I'll, I'll, I'll give
you a kind of a controversial answer that politics is made-up,
right? Politics is made-up and, and a
lot, a lot of people like, no, no, no, like people for whatever

(56:18):
side of the aisle that they're on, like they will live and die
by by that. But there's a group of
billionaires that run the world,you know what I mean?
Like they control the governments and the government's
milk the people so that they canmake more money.
So all these guys fighting over right, left, you're wasting your
time because they're both playing the same game.
Yeah, totally. I, I'm, I'm, I'm with you on

(56:40):
that. And it's just a system to to
control. Yeah.
And the amount my message would be don't listen to if anyone
else just focus on what you've got, what you want to do and and
just do it. And don't be, don't be, don't be
directed by anyone else. Yeah, if you could go back and

(57:02):
give young Robert be Foster one piece of advice, what would that
be? Invest, Invest.
Cause I got into management early.
I was young and like by 19 I wasa, was a general manager of a

(57:23):
restaurant and I wasted so much money on nonsense, you know,
getting the fancy clothes and ithad rings and chains, you know,
going to Dave and Buster's almost like 3, three to four
days a week. And like, if I had invested that
money, I'd be sitting pretty right now, though I actually had
a docuseries film filmed on me and they asked me that question.

(57:44):
And that's what I said. I would go back and be like,
like, get good credit. Like don't mess out your credit
cards or and pay your student loan.
Invest, have good credit and you'll be good.
Yeah, totally. What is 1 message that you'd
like to share with the world? Whatever it is you want to do,

(58:05):
just get started. Doesn't have to be perfect, just
get started. You can always improve.
Like this book cover? This is actually the second
cover, I think because of my green screen there it is.
See how like the shut didn't come out up there and then this
is over here. This is the new cover, you know,
so but I just wanted to get it out because it's about the

(58:27):
content. So I was like, you know what, I
don't like it, but let's just get it out.
And I sold a bunch. So I was like, all right, now we
can just redesign the cover reprint, you know, once I sold
all of those and then we can just keep keep going.
But people think everything has to be perfect before they start,
and it doesn't just get started.There's a saying, start before

(58:49):
you're ready. Everything else will fall into
place. Yeah.
The last question I have for youis what does it mean to you to
be a champion and to have a champion mindset?
So to be a champion means that you leave it all out there?
No, because sometimes the best person doesn't always win.

(59:09):
You know, like my my senior year, I was undefeated in the
high jump, but I ended up losingin the States.
So but because I lost that one meat, I got bumped from first
team to third team. Now, I was the best one out
there. And so like in my mind, it's
like I'm still the best in the state.
Like this one, me, I slipped up.But you carry that through.

(59:34):
Like you, you take the highs, you take the lows and you're
always learning, you're always growing.
Like the champion never stops. Like if you watch Kobe Bryant
videos, like when they were up too well in the play offs and
he's like, job's not finished. You know, it's like job not
finished because the the reporter was like, Kobe, you
don't look like you're happy. He's like, yeah, because we're

(59:55):
not done. It's like when we finish the
job, then we start, then we start training for next year.
It was like he didn't take the time to revel, you know, I mean,
yeah, on the court. But then that very next day,
he's right back on the horse. That's that's the champion
mindset. Yeah, exactly.
Yeah, because that moment doesn't define your future.

(01:00:17):
When you start, you know, movingforward, then that's when
everything changes. Well, Robert, it's been your
story's been living proof that Ed you know, no matter what
adversity that you go through, that can be a foundation of
greatness, not the end of the road from turning your pain into
power and prioritising yourself without the guilt and owning

(01:00:40):
your story. The sound important and you've
given us it's like a blueprint for resilience and growth.
And for our listeners. If you wanted to go deeper and
make sure that you grab Robert'sbook Shut Up and Grind and
inside you'll find real life stories, powerful exercises, and
transformative worksheets to help you conquer self doubt,

(01:01:02):
master self-expression and buildunstoppable confidence.
I'll put the link in the show notes.
Get your copy. Remember, you'll struggle is not
the end of the story. It's only the beginning of your
strength. Until next time, keep showing
up, keep pushing forward, keep living with that champion
mindset. And lastly, I just want to say

(01:01:25):
you are loved. You are worthy.
You are definitely deserving of everything that you desire in
this world. You've just got to follow your
heart and and move forward. Remember movement, right?
And lastly, champion your life, champion your greatness and have

(01:01:45):
an amazing day.

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S2-E151 - Turning Pain into Power: Overcoming Life’s Greatest Challenges with Robert B Foster

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}S2-E151 - Turning Pain into Power: Overcoming Life’s Greatest Challenges with Robert B Foster