March 22, 2025 • 26 mins
Hey friend! If you are listening to this podcast then I consider you a friend! So thanks for the gift of your time---it's a gift to connect with you in this fun way. In this episode we chat about the gift of friendship and how our presence in people's lives is a present! Being mindful about being intentional with "our people"---that's truly a gift! I hope you'll be encouraged and inspired to take the Change Chaser's Challenge and take Action Steps to bringing some joy, love, and sunshine to whoever comes to mind as you listen to this episode. Let's Go!
Faith in Action // Change in Motion
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Episode Transcript
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(00:09):
Well, hey, hey, hey.
Welcome back to Change Chasers.
This podcast is where we are,y'all we're just growing as
we're going.
I'm trying to figure all of thisout, so I will say thank you.
Thank you, thank you so much forcoming back and being a part of
this journey with me and.
Shoot fire.
I'm hoping we will be growing aswe're going together, and so I'm
(00:34):
excited for today's episode.
We're going to be talking aboutone I.
Of the most treasured andcherished things in my life, and
I would go ahead and venture tosay that it most likely is in
your life as well, the power offriendship and building
connections.
That last is this episode title,and so with it, I'm just wanting
(00:58):
to hopefully allow us just tokinda hit pause and all of the
hustle and bustle and all of theto-do list and all of the things
that.
Our just demands of life, right?
That have us kind of occupyingall of our time and all of the
things for us to be able to stopand chat for a brief amount of
(01:19):
time about the beauty of humanconnection and how we can
cultivate more meaningfulrelationships, more meaningful
friendships.
And so with today as these otherepisodes, I am grateful to share
with you that.
It's a gift and it's a joy tospend time with you.
So my name is Mandy Ledford andI'm grateful for your time.
(01:42):
And so today as we're going totalk about the gift of one of
life's greatest treasure'sfriendship, so let's go sweet
friends.
Here we go.
Friendship to me, I will saythat I don't think that's
necessarily just about hangingout or sharing laughs.
It's truly about connection.
I think that great friends arefriends that I trust, right?
(02:04):
Anybody else like, yes.
If you can't trust your friend,then it makes it really tough.
I know that to be true, and so Ithink the connection and trust
and walking through life withpeople I.
Who truly see and support you.
I mean, it's a game changer,isn't it?
I mean, it just makes such adifference in all, all of our
lives.
I think we're all probablynodding our head like, mm-hmm.
(02:26):
Yes.
We're thinking of those peoplewho make our days better, right?
And so in this episode, I.
Together we're gonna beexploring what makes a good
friend and how to nurture yourfriendships, and hopefully to
give you even some inspirationon how to handle challenges that
might come along with them.
So let's go ahead and dive inHot.
(02:49):
Take number one.
What makes friendship sopowerful?
Friendship to me, I think is oneof the most important
relationships that we can have.
And even studies will show thatstrong friendships contribute to
better mental health, lowerstress levels, and even longer
lifespans.
And so beyond science, y'all, weknow that this from life
(03:12):
experience, that my opinion lifeis simply better when it's
shared with good friends.
I love those memes or maybereels of little old ladies.
I'm a woman, so I have aperspective of a woman.
If you're a fellow listening,then you know, look at it in a
manly way and with your, withyour fellas, but I just love
(03:32):
those memes or or whatever,where it'll have the old ladies
and it'll have some referenceabout sitting on the front
porch, rocking chairs, or thetype of trouble we're gonna get
into when you're this old orwhatever.
It just always cracks me upbecause it makes me stop and
think about I.
Who is in my life now that I canpicture being in my life in
(03:53):
many, many years, right?
Where we're gonna be, white hairor gray hair and just living
life together.
And maybe you're in a differentstage of life than I am and
you're listening to this andyou're thinking, man already got
the white hair or the gray hair.
And so I just, I, I just amfilled with joy with you of
whoever you're thinking about inthis time about who.
(04:14):
Is a gift to your life.
Who is it that is making yourlife better?
And so throughout this episode,I hope that you will be
encouraged to, I'm gonna kind ofgive you some call to action at
the end to reach out to thosepeople that you're thinking
about.
And so, but when I think aboutthe core of friendship, I think
about trust is a must, is likewhat I like to say, that trust
(04:36):
is, I mean, it's essential to ahealthy friendship, right?
And so friends are people thatyou can rely on.
No matter what, I think thatTrue Friends offer mutual
support.
A true friend celebrate yourwins and stands by you in your
tough times or in your losses.
And so just thinking about whohas been right there beside you,
(04:58):
who has I?
Offered that shoulder, so tospeak, to either cry on or maybe
the hand to pick you up whenyou're at your lowest of low's.
And so I think that greatfriends are who we have
connections with, right?
Like friendship is all aboutfeeling understood and valued.
I have been also thankful.
(05:18):
I have a friend named Jana whohas always been really gracious
to say to me that you are seen.
You are loved, you are valued,and you are heard.
And I've never forgotten anytimeshe always says that to me.
And no matter, good, bad, uglyof life, those are powerful
sentiments of truth that I thinkare game changers in our day.
(05:41):
Right.
And so encouraging you also of,you know, just the whole idea of
we being like Jana, or we beinga person who makes people feel
seen, valued, heard, and loved.
I don't know, maybe that's justa little tidbit that we can stop
and hit pause and think about alittle bit.
(06:02):
And another one of those.
Growing as we're goingopportunities, right?
If we're not doing that, thenhey, what we start today changes
tomorrow.
And so I can be good or it canbe bad.
So let's make it good.
I'm gonna share a quick storywith you guys now.
Um, I wanna share about a timethat I remember when I was
facing a tough decision and.
(06:23):
My friend was so gracious to,she didn't tell me what to do,
and she didn't tell me what Iwanted to hear either.
And that has never left me asfar as like really, really
valuable life experience to gothrough, right?
She just simply sat andlistened.
She listened with me and she wasjust so gracious to be there.
(06:47):
And when I look back on thatmemory, I think about that
moment reminded me, I.
Of how valuable it is to havesomeone who's willing to just be
there, right to, to give thegift of their presence.
What a present ending with teathat is, right?
What a gift, what a presentsomeone's presence is.
(07:11):
For somebody to be there for uswithout judgment.
Offering a safe space to be ableto work through life challenges.
Man, y'all.
It truly is a gift.
And so my hot take number two isthe different types of friends
that we all have, you know, andkind of segueing through and
thinking about not allfriendships look the same,
(07:32):
right?
I mean, and that's okay.
Each type of friend plays aunique role in our life.
And when I stop and I pivot myperspective as we talked about
in episode two, that it, itreally helps me to stop and
think about.
Okay.
Well, you know, not everybody'sgoing to always necessarily go
through every day of my lifewith me, which is not always
(07:53):
easy.
It can be sad, it can be hard.
It can even be lonely.
I mean, it can be confusing.
I mean, right.
I mean, whew, goodnight.
Some of our, um, experiences inlife are relationships, our
friendships, um, you know, itjust doesn't necessarily always
lead to a straight and narrowpath, right?
I mean, we get to have.
(08:15):
Those amazingly awesome lifelongfriends, though some friends
that come along are thoselifers.
Mm.
I'm always, I'm thankful forthose lifers, those lifelong
friends, that to me, those arethe friends who have been with
you through thick and thin,right through childhood, and by
thick and thin, I should say.
Whew.
Yeah.
They knew me when I was thinner.
(08:36):
Right?
Now, they still love me when I'mthicker, but, um, that's
probably what that line reallymeans, right?
That expression.
But in all seriousness, I'mgrateful for those friends that
stick with me through thick andthin.
My childhood friends, my collegefriends, college roommates, um,
my 20 something year roommates,my just, all of the people that
(08:57):
have been so awesome andimpactful my life.
I think about former coworkers,current coworkers.
Then I even think about friendswho have turned into family.
Some of my friends that are mylifelong friends, I actually
call them my family.
And so they're a pretty specialgroup of folks that, man, I
(09:18):
can't imagine my life without'em, you know?
So those lifelong friends arethe friends that stick with us
through thick and thin, and whata gift.
What a gift those friends are.
And then I also think aboutthough, that there's those
friends that are in our lives,though for a season.
And so you might hear thatexpression that, you know,
there's friends that come for aseason, a reason or a lifetime.
(09:40):
And so when I think aboutseasoned friends, or they're the
ones that come into your lifefor a specific season and
offering exactly what you needduring that time.
And so those are opportunitiesto treasure them for that
snippet of time that we get todo life together.
And so having a pivot, aperspective rather than being.
(10:02):
Sad because maybe thosefriendships kind of fizzle out,
that it doesn't necessarily,it's not necessarily a bad
thing, it just means that theywere a part of your life at just
the right time, right?
They were involved in your lifeand the capacity in which it was
best for you and best for them.
And so then I also think aboutthese really unique friends that
(10:24):
I would say another reallyideal, awesome friend that I'm
grateful to have in my life isthe mentor friend.
And so that friend is the onewho inspires you to grow.
Maybe this friend also doesn'tjust inspire you to grow, but he
or she challenges you to grow,right?
It's like in that expressionI've shared with you guys
(10:46):
previously is that I'm notcalling you out, but I am
calling you up, and so thementor friend is someone who
will help you to see yourpotential.
And then I think about how coolit is though to have the fun
friend, and I'll shoot youstraight, y'all.
I am known as the fun friend inmy circle of friends.
(11:06):
And so sometimes it getsexhausting because I mean, you
know, and everybody just is fun.
No, I'm just kidding.
Like, it's a gift to bringlaughter and light and um,
goodness to people's lives.
And so you put, my friend Kellyand I together we're Enneagram
Sevens.
I don't know if you do theEnneagram, but we.
We do not think that, um, ifthings get too serious, we, we
(11:30):
ready to make people laugh,right?
We don't think that we should bebored and that we're willing to
do whatever it takes in order tolighten the room or a situation.
And so being a fun friend.
Is a joy, and I'm grateful forthat.
And I'm really grateful forthose friends that are fun
friends of my life as well.
And so I think about a funfriend is one who knows how to
(11:52):
bring laughter and joy into yourlife.
And so I think about those fourdifferent types of friends.
And obviously we could go on awhole nother gamut of like, and
this friend and that friend andyou know, in this other
descriptive adjective of somereally awesome people in that,
folks that.
Have really honorableattributes.
And so, but I'm just, you know,for time's sake, I just wanted
(12:13):
to get you to thinking aboutlike what type of friend are you
being, and I think it kind ofdepends on who else we're, you
know, the reciprocation in ourlife of lifelong friends,
seasoned friend, mentor, friend,or fun friend, you know?
And sometimes it's a blend ofall four of those and how
awesome that is and how rare itis to be able to have those
(12:34):
special people though that fitall of those categories and.
And so I just wanted toencourage you with thinking
about how friendship can addvalue in its own way and how
it's okay if some relationshipsdo shift over time.
So rather than being sad, bad,mad, gloom, doom, all of that,
what if we pivot our perspectiveand we just think about, wow,
(12:56):
man, I'm so grateful for thismemory and that memory and this
really awesome, wonderful time.
I know that we can get caught upin now day, modern day with all
of the social media, and we'llhave followers and all of these
friends.
And I say that in quotationsbecause you know, there's people
on Facebook that I don't evenknow if I've met'em in real
(13:17):
life.
I mean, anybody else like you,just like whenever Facebook
first came along all those yearsago, you're like, yeah, let's
go.
Let's add'em.
We don't even know.
I mean, it could be some creeperstalker, but they're our
Facebook friend, right?
I mean, it's the craziest thingever.
And so.
Society though, puts thatpressure, it's almost kind of
performative in some ways,especially social media goes.
(13:39):
And when I think about socialmedia, I think about the people
who post only what is awesome intheir life.
It's like that highlight reel.
And you've heard, you've heardpeople talk about this before,
I'm sure sermons or, you know,just little things of, um, this
is no new news to you, but justthinking about.
(13:59):
All of the pressure, so tospeak, that gets placed on us
about relationships and how ifthings just, you know, might not
always be what you always hopethat they would be.
I mean, there's some unmetexpectations that I think
unfortunately, we all have beenthere, done that, and we all
hoping that we're not doing ittomorrow.
Right.
(14:20):
And so just encouraging you tokind of stop and think about
like what type of value are youadding to other people's lives?
Are you being an awesomecoworker?
Are you being a great teammate?
Are you being a wonderfulfriend, brother, sister,
husband, wife, cousin, grandma,grandpa?
I mean, like, whatever, right?
Like, are you being somebody whomakes everybody feel like a
(14:42):
somebody?
And so when I'm transition, nowover in, I'm about to hit you
with hot take number three, Ihope with, you know, thinking
through like what type of friendyou are that'll inspire you.
If you are not being who youwanna be, then hey.
You know what?
Start today.
Start today.
So hot.
(15:02):
Take number three is how to be abetter friend.
That kind of segues over, and sowhen I stop and I think about
great friendships, unfortunatelythey don't just happen.
I mean, you might have anacquaintance that you have a
good time with and just have afew laughs in hear, but really
great friendships don't justhappen.
They require effort andintentionality.
(15:24):
And so, I mean, sometimes theyeven require you to pull out
your calendar.
It might be February, but you'rescheduling.
A dinner date for May the 15th.
Right?
I mean, like real talk.
We are crazy busy and life canget away from us before we know
it.
And so when we go through and wejust think about how can we
nurture our friendships better,I'm gonna, I.
(15:44):
Talk about three ways for time'ssake here.
Just thinking through.
Number one, be present.
Right?
Be present.
I already said it a moment agothat our presence is a present.
And so in a busy world, y'allshowing up whether physically or
emotionally, it makes all thedifference in the world.
So sometimes we might need toput down our phone as well.
(16:06):
That's one thing I wouldencourage you.
Next time you go out to eat at arestaurant, look around at all
the tables around you and counthow many people are on their
cell phone.
It blows my mind.
It absolutely blows my mind ofhow many people are in the
presence of some amazing peoplesitting at a table to have a
meal, but they're scrolling ontheir phone.
(16:28):
Hmm.
I really try to make a consciouseffort not to do that because I
want the people that I'm with intheir presence.
To know that they are moreimportant to me than what is on
that little device that I'mholding in my hand, that I'm
scrolling.
Boom.
Scrolling is real, isn't it?
I mean, real talk though.
(16:49):
I think it's important to putour phone down and really engage
when we're spending time withour friends.
My point number two iscommunicate honestly.
Good friendships are built onopen and honest communication,
so.
Don't be afraid to expressgratitude, right?
To address misunderstandings orshare your feelings, you know,
(17:09):
being real, just being open andtransparent and honest.
And number number three on thisone is celebrate them.
A true friend rejoices in yoursuccesses and so be their
biggest cheerleader.
Even in the little things,because I think when we can do
that, y'all, it just brings, itbrings joy and life and hope,
(17:32):
and it allows people, as Janaalways says, to feel seen,
valued, loved, and heard.
And so my sweet friends, I willsay, my challenge to you this
week is that I want to challengeyou to reach out to a friend
that you haven't spoken to in awhile and.
Send them a text or give them acall or maybe even schedule a
(17:53):
coffee date.
Hey, you might even wanna go oldschool and send them some snail
mail.
Love a KAA card, right?
You might have to go and youmight take out a loan to buy a
stamp nowadays'cause it isgetting so expensive.
But, um, hey, there's nothingbetter than snail mail love,
right?
A card, something that's not abill.
(18:15):
What a joy that would bring totheir mailbox as they get to
pull that out.
And see that you were sogracious and kind and you were
thinking from them.
Or if you're like me, then youmight even wanna do the idea of
placing an Amazon order and youwill be just sitting excitedly
waiting for the delivery toarrive at their doorstep, right?
(18:36):
I mean, hey, real talk if that'smore your speed.
Been there, done that, and I, Imight be doing that tomorrow.
Um, but my challenge to each ofus, myself personally, I'm gonna
do this too, sweet friends, isjust.
Let somebody know that you'rethinking about'em.
Let somebody know that they'reseen, they're valued, they're
loved, and they're heard.
All right now for my hot take.
(18:57):
Number four, navigatingfriendships and the challenges
that unfortunately can comesometimes in.
Friendships in anyrelationships, but friendships,
like any relationship, it canface difficulties, right?
They can face difficulties, andmaybe there's been a
misunderstanding or perhaps lifehas pulled you in different
(19:18):
directions.
And so when I stop and I thinkabout this happens, right?
This is really real.
I've had a circumstance likethis that's happened in my life
and this last year, and it'sbeen one of the most
challenging, difficult.
Uh, hardest things that I'veever had to live through.
And so thinking about how do wehandle things though with grace?
How do we, how do we just dobetter, right?
(19:40):
How do we be able to honor andlove someone well, and so when I
was thinking through this, Ithought, you know, number one
point is how do we addressconflict, right?
Well, the best way to addressconflict is to do it early.
And I've learned that.
I mean, we live and learn,right?
So ignoring issues only makesthem worse.
(20:00):
Now, this is my opinion, ofcourse, but when I think we
ignore, ignore issues, it justseems to make things get outta
hand more.
It hurts feelings more as timegoes on.
It's almost like you've heardthat expression, the the, um,
you know, the mole hill, likeinto the mountain and that kind
of thing.
And so, uh, making a mountainout of a mole hill, that's the
expression.
(20:20):
There we go.
And so, um, having a an honestconversation I believe is
crucial.
I believe it's also really,really.
Spiritually wise.
And so the approach that we getto have with that is to have of
love and understanding andthinking about spiritually as
being a woman of faith.
I think about in Matthew chapter18 and verses 15, 15 through 20,
(20:41):
it outlines a process forresolving conflict.
It, uh, with, you know, being ina.
Christian community, it says tostart with a private
confrontation, then involvewitnesses.
And finally bringing the issuebefore the church with the
ultimate goal of reconciliation,right, and restoration, how
beautiful it is.
Whenever we're able to havehonest conversations, and I
(21:03):
truly believe that when wehandle things with the heart
posture and with the.
Character of Christ.
I mean, y'all, it can be a gamechanger in our life, but also
other people's lives.
And so my challenge to all of usis that have honest
conversations.
Do the hard thing, like bewilling to provide clarity.
(21:24):
'cause I always say this, Ithink clarity is kind.
And being honest and talking tosomebody, y'all, it's a gift.
Just as our presence is apresent, I think the honest
conversations are a gift.
My point number two I'd love tomake on this one is respect
(21:44):
boundaries.
I.
Respect boundaries.
'cause good friendships allowroom for individuality.
So we need to respect ourfriend's space and our and their
needs.
And even if they're differentfrom ours.
And so we might not alwaysunderstand, but I think it's
really respectful to honor ourfriend's boundaries.
And if they've asked for spaceor time, I think that it's
(22:06):
honorable to do as they'veasked.
Right?
I mean, that's the best thing wecan do is.
Just love them from a distance,pray for them.
Try to do whatever we can tostill allow them to know in our
own small way that they areseen, that they're valued, that
they're loved, and that they'reheard.
But sometimes we have to operateon somebody else's timeline.
(22:29):
Right.
My point number three issometimes though we gotta know
when to let go.
And this is not easy at all, isit?
I mean, unfortunately, sometimesfriendships just, they fade.
And I think that's okay becausenot every relationship is meant
to last forever.
I think we've all experiencedsome friendships that have been
(22:51):
such a joy in our lives, right?
And we can appreciate those goodmoments, but we also can let go
with peace when it's time.
And so with stating all of that,it now leads me to segue over
into hot take number five, theGift of Friendship.
(23:11):
Friendship is a two-way street.
And I think whenever it's donewell, y'all, it's one of life's
greatest blessings.
Friends remind us that we're notalone.
They make the hard days easier,and they add so much joy to the
good days.
And so I.
I just wanna encourage you inknowing that your intentionality
matters the way that you'reliving your life matters, and
(23:31):
the way that you are lovingothers so stinking Well, gosh,
it's a blessing.
So I just wanna say thank youbecause I'm sure you're
listening to this.
You're thinking about Yeah, likefist bump in the air.
Let's go.
'cause I am a good friend everyday that ends in Y in English,
of course.
And.
If you don't know that, then allthe days a week in and why.
(23:51):
But in all seriousness, I thinkthat I'd love to leave you with
a closing hot take of the bestfriendships are built on love
and respect and sharedexperiences.
They don't have to be perfect,thank goodness, right?
I am far from perfect.
Maybe you're the same, thatyou're not perfect either, but
(24:15):
y'all.
The best friendships are theones that bring value to your
life.
And remember, when I stop and Ithink about one of the greatest
gifts that age in life hastaught me is that we don't need
a hundred friends.
You just need a few who trulymatter, and the ones who are
(24:37):
willing to do life with you,with intentionality, and that
they give you the greatest giftof letting you know that you are
seen, that you're valued.
That you are loved and that youare hurt.
So in closing, sweet Friends, mycall to action to each of us, is
that, think about a friend,maybe two friends, three
(25:02):
friends, maybe five, I don'tknow, but at least think about
one friend who's made a bigimpact on your life.
And then my challenge is to askyou in your call to action is
take a moment and thank them.
Send them a message, write thema no.
Or tell them in person.
Let them know how much they meanto you.
(25:22):
I can promise you that that willprobably bless them more than
you could ever imagine.
And so as I'm about to sign off,I'm gonna say again'cause this
is just what all the podcastersdo.
I figure I'm putting togetherthis content and I am hoping
that it is Holy Spirit led andthat it is blessing you.
(25:44):
So if today's episode blessedyou, then I'm gonna ask you, we
share it with a friend whoinspires you so that we can
spread the love and celebratethe power of friendship.
(26:04):
Thanks for tuning in to thisFriendship episode.
I'm Mandy and I'll see you nexttime for more conversations
about life, love, andconnection.
Remember, a true friend is oneof life's greatest gifts, so
cherish them.
Well keep chasing, change andliving with purpose.
Goodbye sweet friends, France.
Well, hey, hey, hey.
Welcome back to Change Chasers.
This podcast is where we are,y'all we're just growing as
we're going.
I'm trying to figure all of thisout, so I will say thank you.
Thank you, thank you so much forcoming back and being a part of
this journey with me and.
Shoot fire.
I'm hoping we will be growing aswe're going together, and so I'm
(00:34):
excited for today's episode.
We're going to be talking aboutone I.
Of the most treasured andcherished things in my life, and
I would go ahead and venture tosay that it most likely is in
your life as well, the power offriendship and building
connections.
That last is this episode title,and so with it, I'm just wanting
(00:58):
to hopefully allow us just tokinda hit pause and all of the
hustle and bustle and all of theto-do list and all of the things
that.
Our just demands of life, right?
That have us kind of occupyingall of our time and all of the
things for us to be able to stopand chat for a brief amount of
(01:19):
time about the beauty of humanconnection and how we can
cultivate more meaningfulrelationships, more meaningful
friendships.
And so with today as these otherepisodes, I am grateful to share
with you that.
It's a gift and it's a joy tospend time with you.
So my name is Mandy Ledford andI'm grateful for your time.
(01:42):
And so today as we're going totalk about the gift of one of
life's greatest treasure'sfriendship, so let's go sweet
friends.
Here we go.
Friendship to me, I will saythat I don't think that's
necessarily just about hangingout or sharing laughs.
It's truly about connection.
I think that great friends arefriends that I trust, right?
(02:04):
Anybody else like, yes.
If you can't trust your friend,then it makes it really tough.
I know that to be true, and so Ithink the connection and trust
and walking through life withpeople I.
Who truly see and support you.
I mean, it's a game changer,isn't it?
I mean, it just makes such adifference in all, all of our
lives.
I think we're all probablynodding our head like, mm-hmm.
(02:26):
Yes.
We're thinking of those peoplewho make our days better, right?
And so in this episode, I.
Together we're gonna beexploring what makes a good
friend and how to nurture yourfriendships, and hopefully to
give you even some inspirationon how to handle challenges that
might come along with them.
So let's go ahead and dive inHot.
(02:49):
Take number one.
What makes friendship sopowerful?
Friendship to me, I think is oneof the most important
relationships that we can have.
And even studies will show thatstrong friendships contribute to
better mental health, lowerstress levels, and even longer
lifespans.
And so beyond science, y'all, weknow that this from life
(03:12):
experience, that my opinion lifeis simply better when it's
shared with good friends.
I love those memes or maybereels of little old ladies.
I'm a woman, so I have aperspective of a woman.
If you're a fellow listening,then you know, look at it in a
manly way and with your, withyour fellas, but I just love
(03:32):
those memes or or whatever,where it'll have the old ladies
and it'll have some referenceabout sitting on the front
porch, rocking chairs, or thetype of trouble we're gonna get
into when you're this old orwhatever.
It just always cracks me upbecause it makes me stop and
think about I.
Who is in my life now that I canpicture being in my life in
(03:53):
many, many years, right?
Where we're gonna be, white hairor gray hair and just living
life together.
And maybe you're in a differentstage of life than I am and
you're listening to this andyou're thinking, man already got
the white hair or the gray hair.
And so I just, I, I just amfilled with joy with you of
whoever you're thinking about inthis time about who.
(04:14):
Is a gift to your life.
Who is it that is making yourlife better?
And so throughout this episode,I hope that you will be
encouraged to, I'm gonna kind ofgive you some call to action at
the end to reach out to thosepeople that you're thinking
about.
And so, but when I think aboutthe core of friendship, I think
about trust is a must, is likewhat I like to say, that trust
(04:36):
is, I mean, it's essential to ahealthy friendship, right?
And so friends are people thatyou can rely on.
No matter what, I think thatTrue Friends offer mutual
support.
A true friend celebrate yourwins and stands by you in your
tough times or in your losses.
And so just thinking about whohas been right there beside you,
(04:58):
who has I?
Offered that shoulder, so tospeak, to either cry on or maybe
the hand to pick you up whenyou're at your lowest of low's.
And so I think that greatfriends are who we have
connections with, right?
Like friendship is all aboutfeeling understood and valued.
I have been also thankful.
(05:18):
I have a friend named Jana whohas always been really gracious
to say to me that you are seen.
You are loved, you are valued,and you are heard.
And I've never forgotten anytimeshe always says that to me.
And no matter, good, bad, uglyof life, those are powerful
sentiments of truth that I thinkare game changers in our day.
(05:41):
Right.
And so encouraging you also of,you know, just the whole idea of
we being like Jana, or we beinga person who makes people feel
seen, valued, heard, and loved.
I don't know, maybe that's justa little tidbit that we can stop
and hit pause and think about alittle bit.
(06:02):
And another one of those.
Growing as we're goingopportunities, right?
If we're not doing that, thenhey, what we start today changes
tomorrow.
And so I can be good or it canbe bad.
So let's make it good.
I'm gonna share a quick storywith you guys now.
Um, I wanna share about a timethat I remember when I was
facing a tough decision and.
(06:23):
My friend was so gracious to,she didn't tell me what to do,
and she didn't tell me what Iwanted to hear either.
And that has never left me asfar as like really, really
valuable life experience to gothrough, right?
She just simply sat andlistened.
She listened with me and she wasjust so gracious to be there.
(06:47):
And when I look back on thatmemory, I think about that
moment reminded me, I.
Of how valuable it is to havesomeone who's willing to just be
there, right to, to give thegift of their presence.
What a present ending with teathat is, right?
What a gift, what a presentsomeone's presence is.
(07:11):
For somebody to be there for uswithout judgment.
Offering a safe space to be ableto work through life challenges.
Man, y'all.
It truly is a gift.
And so my hot take number two isthe different types of friends
that we all have, you know, andkind of segueing through and
thinking about not allfriendships look the same,
(07:32):
right?
I mean, and that's okay.
Each type of friend plays aunique role in our life.
And when I stop and I pivot myperspective as we talked about
in episode two, that it, itreally helps me to stop and
think about.
Okay.
Well, you know, not everybody'sgoing to always necessarily go
through every day of my lifewith me, which is not always
(07:53):
easy.
It can be sad, it can be hard.
It can even be lonely.
I mean, it can be confusing.
I mean, right.
I mean, whew, goodnight.
Some of our, um, experiences inlife are relationships, our
friendships, um, you know, itjust doesn't necessarily always
lead to a straight and narrowpath, right?
I mean, we get to have.
(08:15):
Those amazingly awesome lifelongfriends, though some friends
that come along are thoselifers.
Mm.
I'm always, I'm thankful forthose lifers, those lifelong
friends, that to me, those arethe friends who have been with
you through thick and thin,right through childhood, and by
thick and thin, I should say.
Whew.
Yeah.
They knew me when I was thinner.
(08:36):
Right?
Now, they still love me when I'mthicker, but, um, that's
probably what that line reallymeans, right?
That expression.
But in all seriousness, I'mgrateful for those friends that
stick with me through thick andthin.
My childhood friends, my collegefriends, college roommates, um,
my 20 something year roommates,my just, all of the people that
(08:57):
have been so awesome andimpactful my life.
I think about former coworkers,current coworkers.
Then I even think about friendswho have turned into family.
Some of my friends that are mylifelong friends, I actually
call them my family.
And so they're a pretty specialgroup of folks that, man, I
(09:18):
can't imagine my life without'em, you know?
So those lifelong friends arethe friends that stick with us
through thick and thin, and whata gift.
What a gift those friends are.
And then I also think aboutthough, that there's those
friends that are in our lives,though for a season.
And so you might hear thatexpression that, you know,
there's friends that come for aseason, a reason or a lifetime.
(09:40):
And so when I think aboutseasoned friends, or they're the
ones that come into your lifefor a specific season and
offering exactly what you needduring that time.
And so those are opportunitiesto treasure them for that
snippet of time that we get todo life together.
And so having a pivot, aperspective rather than being.
(10:02):
Sad because maybe thosefriendships kind of fizzle out,
that it doesn't necessarily,it's not necessarily a bad
thing, it just means that theywere a part of your life at just
the right time, right?
They were involved in your lifeand the capacity in which it was
best for you and best for them.
And so then I also think aboutthese really unique friends that
(10:24):
I would say another reallyideal, awesome friend that I'm
grateful to have in my life isthe mentor friend.
And so that friend is the onewho inspires you to grow.
Maybe this friend also doesn'tjust inspire you to grow, but he
or she challenges you to grow,right?
It's like in that expressionI've shared with you guys
(10:46):
previously is that I'm notcalling you out, but I am
calling you up, and so thementor friend is someone who
will help you to see yourpotential.
And then I think about how coolit is though to have the fun
friend, and I'll shoot youstraight, y'all.
I am known as the fun friend inmy circle of friends.
(11:06):
And so sometimes it getsexhausting because I mean, you
know, and everybody just is fun.
No, I'm just kidding.
Like, it's a gift to bringlaughter and light and um,
goodness to people's lives.
And so you put, my friend Kellyand I together we're Enneagram
Sevens.
I don't know if you do theEnneagram, but we.
We do not think that, um, ifthings get too serious, we, we
(11:30):
ready to make people laugh,right?
We don't think that we should bebored and that we're willing to
do whatever it takes in order tolighten the room or a situation.
And so being a fun friend.
Is a joy, and I'm grateful forthat.
And I'm really grateful forthose friends that are fun
friends of my life as well.
And so I think about a funfriend is one who knows how to
(11:52):
bring laughter and joy into yourlife.
And so I think about those fourdifferent types of friends.
And obviously we could go on awhole nother gamut of like, and
this friend and that friend andyou know, in this other
descriptive adjective of somereally awesome people in that,
folks that.
Have really honorableattributes.
And so, but I'm just, you know,for time's sake, I just wanted
(12:13):
to get you to thinking aboutlike what type of friend are you
being, and I think it kind ofdepends on who else we're, you
know, the reciprocation in ourlife of lifelong friends,
seasoned friend, mentor, friend,or fun friend, you know?
And sometimes it's a blend ofall four of those and how
awesome that is and how rare itis to be able to have those
(12:34):
special people though that fitall of those categories and.
And so I just wanted toencourage you with thinking
about how friendship can addvalue in its own way and how
it's okay if some relationshipsdo shift over time.
So rather than being sad, bad,mad, gloom, doom, all of that,
what if we pivot our perspectiveand we just think about, wow,
(12:56):
man, I'm so grateful for thismemory and that memory and this
really awesome, wonderful time.
I know that we can get caught upin now day, modern day with all
of the social media, and we'llhave followers and all of these
friends.
And I say that in quotationsbecause you know, there's people
on Facebook that I don't evenknow if I've met'em in real
(13:17):
life.
I mean, anybody else like you,just like whenever Facebook
first came along all those yearsago, you're like, yeah, let's
go.
Let's add'em.
We don't even know.
I mean, it could be some creeperstalker, but they're our
Facebook friend, right?
I mean, it's the craziest thingever.
And so.
Society though, puts thatpressure, it's almost kind of
performative in some ways,especially social media goes.
(13:39):
And when I think about socialmedia, I think about the people
who post only what is awesome intheir life.
It's like that highlight reel.
And you've heard, you've heardpeople talk about this before,
I'm sure sermons or, you know,just little things of, um, this
is no new news to you, but justthinking about.
(13:59):
All of the pressure, so tospeak, that gets placed on us
about relationships and how ifthings just, you know, might not
always be what you always hopethat they would be.
I mean, there's some unmetexpectations that I think
unfortunately, we all have beenthere, done that, and we all
hoping that we're not doing ittomorrow.
Right.
(14:20):
And so just encouraging you tokind of stop and think about
like what type of value are youadding to other people's lives?
Are you being an awesomecoworker?
Are you being a great teammate?
Are you being a wonderfulfriend, brother, sister,
husband, wife, cousin, grandma,grandpa?
I mean, like, whatever, right?
Like, are you being somebody whomakes everybody feel like a
(14:42):
somebody?
And so when I'm transition, nowover in, I'm about to hit you
with hot take number three, Ihope with, you know, thinking
through like what type of friendyou are that'll inspire you.
If you are not being who youwanna be, then hey.
You know what?
Start today.
Start today.
So hot.
(15:02):
Take number three is how to be abetter friend.
That kind of segues over, and sowhen I stop and I think about
great friendships, unfortunatelythey don't just happen.
I mean, you might have anacquaintance that you have a
good time with and just have afew laughs in hear, but really
great friendships don't justhappen.
They require effort andintentionality.
(15:24):
And so, I mean, sometimes theyeven require you to pull out
your calendar.
It might be February, but you'rescheduling.
A dinner date for May the 15th.
Right?
I mean, like real talk.
We are crazy busy and life canget away from us before we know
it.
And so when we go through and wejust think about how can we
nurture our friendships better,I'm gonna, I.
(15:44):
Talk about three ways for time'ssake here.
Just thinking through.
Number one, be present.
Right?
Be present.
I already said it a moment agothat our presence is a present.
And so in a busy world, y'allshowing up whether physically or
emotionally, it makes all thedifference in the world.
So sometimes we might need toput down our phone as well.
(16:06):
That's one thing I wouldencourage you.
Next time you go out to eat at arestaurant, look around at all
the tables around you and counthow many people are on their
cell phone.
It blows my mind.
It absolutely blows my mind ofhow many people are in the
presence of some amazing peoplesitting at a table to have a
meal, but they're scrolling ontheir phone.
(16:28):
Hmm.
I really try to make a consciouseffort not to do that because I
want the people that I'm with intheir presence.
To know that they are moreimportant to me than what is on
that little device that I'mholding in my hand, that I'm
scrolling.
Boom.
Scrolling is real, isn't it?
I mean, real talk though.
(16:49):
I think it's important to putour phone down and really engage
when we're spending time withour friends.
My point number two iscommunicate honestly.
Good friendships are built onopen and honest communication,
so.
Don't be afraid to expressgratitude, right?
To address misunderstandings orshare your feelings, you know,
(17:09):
being real, just being open andtransparent and honest.
And number number three on thisone is celebrate them.
A true friend rejoices in yoursuccesses and so be their
biggest cheerleader.
Even in the little things,because I think when we can do
that, y'all, it just brings, itbrings joy and life and hope,
(17:32):
and it allows people, as Janaalways says, to feel seen,
valued, loved, and heard.
And so my sweet friends, I willsay, my challenge to you this
week is that I want to challengeyou to reach out to a friend
that you haven't spoken to in awhile and.
Send them a text or give them acall or maybe even schedule a
(17:53):
coffee date.
Hey, you might even wanna go oldschool and send them some snail
mail.
Love a KAA card, right?
You might have to go and youmight take out a loan to buy a
stamp nowadays'cause it isgetting so expensive.
But, um, hey, there's nothingbetter than snail mail love,
right?
A card, something that's not abill.
(18:15):
What a joy that would bring totheir mailbox as they get to
pull that out.
And see that you were sogracious and kind and you were
thinking from them.
Or if you're like me, then youmight even wanna do the idea of
placing an Amazon order and youwill be just sitting excitedly
waiting for the delivery toarrive at their doorstep, right?
(18:36):
I mean, hey, real talk if that'smore your speed.
Been there, done that, and I, Imight be doing that tomorrow.
Um, but my challenge to each ofus, myself personally, I'm gonna
do this too, sweet friends, isjust.
Let somebody know that you'rethinking about'em.
Let somebody know that they'reseen, they're valued, they're
loved, and they're heard.
All right now for my hot take.
(18:57):
Number four, navigatingfriendships and the challenges
that unfortunately can comesometimes in.
Friendships in anyrelationships, but friendships,
like any relationship, it canface difficulties, right?
They can face difficulties, andmaybe there's been a
misunderstanding or perhaps lifehas pulled you in different
(19:18):
directions.
And so when I stop and I thinkabout this happens, right?
This is really real.
I've had a circumstance likethis that's happened in my life
and this last year, and it'sbeen one of the most
challenging, difficult.
Uh, hardest things that I'veever had to live through.
And so thinking about how do wehandle things though with grace?
How do we, how do we just dobetter, right?
(19:40):
How do we be able to honor andlove someone well, and so when I
was thinking through this, Ithought, you know, number one
point is how do we addressconflict, right?
Well, the best way to addressconflict is to do it early.
And I've learned that.
I mean, we live and learn,right?
So ignoring issues only makesthem worse.
(20:00):
Now, this is my opinion, ofcourse, but when I think we
ignore, ignore issues, it justseems to make things get outta
hand more.
It hurts feelings more as timegoes on.
It's almost like you've heardthat expression, the the, um,
you know, the mole hill, likeinto the mountain and that kind
of thing.
And so, uh, making a mountainout of a mole hill, that's the
expression.
(20:20):
There we go.
And so, um, having a an honestconversation I believe is
crucial.
I believe it's also really,really.
Spiritually wise.
And so the approach that we getto have with that is to have of
love and understanding andthinking about spiritually as
being a woman of faith.
I think about in Matthew chapter18 and verses 15, 15 through 20,
(20:41):
it outlines a process forresolving conflict.
It, uh, with, you know, being ina.
Christian community, it says tostart with a private
confrontation, then involvewitnesses.
And finally bringing the issuebefore the church with the
ultimate goal of reconciliation,right, and restoration, how
beautiful it is.
Whenever we're able to havehonest conversations, and I
(21:03):
truly believe that when wehandle things with the heart
posture and with the.
Character of Christ.
I mean, y'all, it can be a gamechanger in our life, but also
other people's lives.
And so my challenge to all of usis that have honest
conversations.
Do the hard thing, like bewilling to provide clarity.
(21:24):
'cause I always say this, Ithink clarity is kind.
And being honest and talking tosomebody, y'all, it's a gift.
Just as our presence is apresent, I think the honest
conversations are a gift.
My point number two I'd love tomake on this one is respect
(21:44):
boundaries.
I.
Respect boundaries.
'cause good friendships allowroom for individuality.
So we need to respect ourfriend's space and our and their
needs.
And even if they're differentfrom ours.
And so we might not alwaysunderstand, but I think it's
really respectful to honor ourfriend's boundaries.
And if they've asked for spaceor time, I think that it's
(22:06):
honorable to do as they'veasked.
Right?
I mean, that's the best thing wecan do is.
Just love them from a distance,pray for them.
Try to do whatever we can tostill allow them to know in our
own small way that they areseen, that they're valued, that
they're loved, and that they'reheard.
But sometimes we have to operateon somebody else's timeline.
(22:29):
Right.
My point number three issometimes though we gotta know
when to let go.
And this is not easy at all, isit?
I mean, unfortunately, sometimesfriendships just, they fade.
And I think that's okay becausenot every relationship is meant
to last forever.
I think we've all experiencedsome friendships that have been
(22:51):
such a joy in our lives, right?
And we can appreciate those goodmoments, but we also can let go
with peace when it's time.
And so with stating all of that,it now leads me to segue over
into hot take number five, theGift of Friendship.
(23:11):
Friendship is a two-way street.
And I think whenever it's donewell, y'all, it's one of life's
greatest blessings.
Friends remind us that we're notalone.
They make the hard days easier,and they add so much joy to the
good days.
And so I.
I just wanna encourage you inknowing that your intentionality
matters the way that you'reliving your life matters, and
(23:31):
the way that you are lovingothers so stinking Well, gosh,
it's a blessing.
So I just wanna say thank youbecause I'm sure you're
listening to this.
You're thinking about Yeah, likefist bump in the air.
Let's go.
'cause I am a good friend everyday that ends in Y in English,
of course.
And.
If you don't know that, then allthe days a week in and why.
(23:51):
But in all seriousness, I thinkthat I'd love to leave you with
a closing hot take of the bestfriendships are built on love
and respect and sharedexperiences.
They don't have to be perfect,thank goodness, right?
I am far from perfect.
Maybe you're the same, thatyou're not perfect either, but
(24:15):
y'all.
The best friendships are theones that bring value to your
life.
And remember, when I stop and Ithink about one of the greatest
gifts that age in life hastaught me is that we don't need
a hundred friends.
You just need a few who trulymatter, and the ones who are
(24:37):
willing to do life with you,with intentionality, and that
they give you the greatest giftof letting you know that you are
seen, that you're valued.
That you are loved and that youare hurt.
So in closing, sweet Friends, mycall to action to each of us, is
that, think about a friend,maybe two friends, three
(25:02):
friends, maybe five, I don'tknow, but at least think about
one friend who's made a bigimpact on your life.
And then my challenge is to askyou in your call to action is
take a moment and thank them.
Send them a message, write thema no.
Or tell them in person.
Let them know how much they meanto you.
(25:22):
I can promise you that that willprobably bless them more than
you could ever imagine.
And so as I'm about to sign off,I'm gonna say again'cause this
is just what all the podcastersdo.
I figure I'm putting togetherthis content and I am hoping
that it is Holy Spirit led andthat it is blessing you.
(25:44):
So if today's episode blessedyou, then I'm gonna ask you, we
share it with a friend whoinspires you so that we can
spread the love and celebratethe power of friendship.
(26:04):
Thanks for tuning in to thisFriendship episode.
I'm Mandy and I'll see you nexttime for more conversations
about life, love, andconnection.
Remember, a true friend is oneof life's greatest gifts, so
cherish them.
Well keep chasing, change andliving with purpose.
Goodbye sweet friends, France.
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