Change My Relationship

In this sequel podcast to "How You Lose Your Self in Neurodiverse Marriages, Elizabeth and Kathleen share how to restore your sense of self. Both are married to men with Asperger's Syndrome and are the founders of "My Aspie and Me," a private Facebook group for Christian women. They hear women in their group say that they no longer recognize themselves and don't know who they are. Both also experienced a loss of themselves in their...

There is a predictable pattern that victims go through when trying to figure out what is going on in abusive relationships. Anyone experiencing emotional abuse, verbal abuse or any other type of abuse knows how it feels to be on the hamster wheel of invalidation, second guessing, confusion, and gaslighting. Then something else happens. The victim gets clarity and starts to get strong. Then the abuser pulls out a new card which inte...

Therapists doing therapy with an abuser and the victim together are making a huge mistake that further harms the victim and decreases the chance that the abuser will change. Watch this video to learn why therapists should not do couples therapy with an abuser and the victim together. #couplestherapy #therapyforvictims

Christian codependency means you are a Christian who is codependent at least partially because you hold scriptural misconceptions about what God wants you to do. For everyone who suffers from this, there will be a time if it continues, when you will ask this question: When it's you or me, and I have to choose one or the other, who should I choose? You need to know the answer if you are at that place or if you are heading there. Wat...

Kathleen and Elizabeth discuss how women can lose their sense of self in neurodiverse marriages, both having married men with Asperger's Syndrome. They are the founders of "My Aspie and Me," a private Facebook group for Christian women. They hear women in their group say that they no longer recognize themselves and don't know who they are. Both also experienced a loss of themselves in their marriages. 

This is a timely topic given...

This video provides therapists and counselors with a list of goals that the abuser needs if there is any hope of change. Most of the therapy provided for abusers misses some key elements that prevent lasting change. If you are in an abusive relationship, please watch to learn what your abuser has to do. #therapygoals #personalgrowth #toxicrelationship

Did you know that you can change your thoughts to change your life? You can, and it will have an immediate effect on your feelings and actions. It isn't difficult. If you are struggling with behaviors you cannot change, emotions that are sabotaging your life, or relationships that are stuck in a rut, watch this video to find out how to change your thoughts to change your life. #thoughts #thoughtsfeelings #changeyourlife 

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Setting boundaries is difficult when you are confused about what each person is responsible for, but if you know the difference between a burden and a load in Galatians 6:2-5, it gives you a helpful guideline. Because limits are different for each person and all individual factors have to be taken into consideration, it helps to have an objective test. If you struggle with setting Christian boundaries, watch this video to know the ...

In 2017, Christine’s husband John died suddenly following what should have been a routine operation. They had been married 24 years, and their daughter was 18 at the time. Less than three years after her husband’s

death, both of Christine’s parents died, adding more layers to her grief. In this interview, she describes her intentional grieving process and the things that helped her to survive and thrive, or "surthrive" as she calle...

If you have addicts and alcoholics in your life, you need to learn how to detach. If you don't, you may find yourself trying to force them to get sober and losing yourself in the process. Without the ability to separate yourself from their addiction and alcoholism, you can become obsessed with fixing them. You may find yourself feeling afraid and angry and wondering why you are not capable of convincing the person you care about to...

If you fear abandonment, you probably don't know how to detach. Detaching is about separating yourself from other people's opinions, emotions, reactions, choices, blame, threats, and more. That's hard to do when you need to be attached to people to feel okay. The problem is that you will be even more dependent on what they do, feel, and think, so you desperately need to be able to separate yourself. Watch this video to learn how yo...

Detaching from enablers is necessary when they are providing the means for people you care about to continue in their addiction and irresponsible behavior. It is hard enough to set your own boundaries with your loved one doing things you cannot support but when other people enable, you need to figure out how to respond to them too. Watch this video to help you to respond the right way. #addiction #detaching #irresponsible #enablers...

Do you find yourself unable to detach and unable to function well in your own life when someone close to you is not okay? You don't have to live that way. This video will show you how to detach with love so you can say, "I'm okay when you're not okay." #detachment #difficultrelationship #dysfunctionalrelationship #beingok #healthyrelationships

Setting boundaries isn't easy because a relationship has so many variables. Because of that, it is helpful to have specific components to focus on. One of those is to determine who is responsible for what. Once you know those things, it is easier to figure out what your limits should be. Watch this video on setting boundaries to learn how to determine who is responsible. #responsibilty #settingboundaries #Christianboundaries

When you are dealing with chronic liars, it is infuriating and hard to believe that despite the many promises to never lie again, they do. You probably ask why and how it could happen. But more importantly for you to figure out is "Why do you believe their lies?" #chronicliars #dysfunctionalrelationship #healthyrelationshipsteps #toxicrelationships #boundaries #dysfunctionaldynamics

What is the difference between forcing a solution where you are trying to control someone's behavior and setting a boundary where you are drawing a limit for yourself? Watch this video to get the answer to that question. #difficultrelationship #boundaries #controlling

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Abigail did not submit to her husband Nabal when he refused to help David and his men. This biblical story provides submission principles women can use to confidently say no to things that violate their consciences. #difficultrelationships #toxicrelationship #dysfunctionalrelationship #scripturalmisunderstandings

It isn't easy to listen to someone saying things you disagree with. It is hard to hear someone is upset with you, and even harder to not receive it as an attack and defend yourself. It takes self-restraint to focus on what is being said when your emotions are out of control.  Defensiveness and reactivity are primary reasons that conflict escalates and isn't resolved. There is an approach that can make it easier for you to listen, a...