Change My Relationship

You cannot keep someone from gaslighting you, but you can choose how to respond to gaslighting. Learn effective responses by watching this video. #gaslighting #dysfunctionalrelationship #gaslighter #respondingtogaslighting

Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/Trv3...

In your dysfunctional relationships, it is important to ask yourself: "Why am I talking?" before you open your mouth. This is because most of the reasons will cause more problems for you. These complex relationships aren't easy to navigate. The dynamics are confusing. Emotions are up and down and hard to control. One of the most helpful things you can learn to do is to WAIT before you speak and ask yourself, "Why am I talking?" Wat...

When you disagree with how your grandchild is parented, what do you do? Do you offer parenting tips? Do you speak up? Do you confront child abuse? Do you point out the dysfunctional relationship dynamics? If you do, what do you think will happen? If you need answers to these questions, watch this video. You will receive helpful suggestions that will help you avoid making mistakes. #grandparenting #dysfunctionalrelationship #childab...

People in dysfunctional relationships make change-back moves when you set boundaries, which are designed to get you to back down. They do this because they don't want to change their behavior. They don't want to be accountable and take responsibility for their actions. They don't want to respect your limits and needs. They consider their own needs and desires more important than yours. 

Because of all these things, they manipulativ...

Codependents have slips just like addicts do. Codependent slips aren't good for you or your relationships. You need to learn how to recognize when you are slipping back into unhealthy behavior so you can stop before you do things you regret. #codependency #toxicrelationship #dysfunctionalrelationship

Toxic relationships are dysfunctional relationships. Narcissistic and manipulative people don't want to hear your concerns. They won't take responsibility for their part in the problems. They use strategies to keep from being accountable, and one of those is the subject of this video. 

What is DARVO? Something people do to prevent you from being heard. Find out what it is so you can recognize when it is being used against you. You ...

Navigating old age estranged from your children is a scary thought for some. One of my subscribers asked me to make a video on this topic. Watch it for some ideas on how to prepare for old age estranged from your children or if you don't have children. #healthyrelationship #planing #oldage

Relationship safety involves both people being trustworthy, honest, dependable, and emotionally healthy. A safe person doesn't cause harm, but an unsafe person causes harm by their words and actions.  

When you are in an abusive, toxic, and/or dysfunctional relationship, you aren't safe. You can set boundaries to try to get changes you need to feel safe, but you cannot depend on the other person. Relationship safety ultimately come...

This video shows you how to stop manipulating people. It is possible to change when you are motivated to do it. Watch this video to learn how to stop manipulating people. #manipulation #StopManipulation #ManipulationMotives #HealthyRelationship

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Why do you manipulate people? You need to know if you want to stop doing it. Wanting to change is the first step to being able to stop manipulating people but you also need to know why so you understand what drives the behavior. This video will show you why you manipulate people. #manipulation #ManipulationMotives #HealthyRelationship

What is the goal of conflict resolution? Most people would answer, "To resolve conflict." That is one of the goals, but it isn't the most important one. There is one that is more important, and if people keep it at the forefront of their minds, it will change the way they interact. Dysfunctional relationships don't do this, but healthy relationships do. Watch this video to find out what it is so you can improve your skills. #confli...

Zero tolerance for boundary violations is the only way to ensure that you won't continue to encounter the same problems in the future.  When you don't enforce consequences when your line is crossed, you go through a predictable process that requires you to start all over again. Watch this video to understand what you have to do to get strong enough to have a zero tolerance for boundary violations. #christianboundaries  #zerotoleran...

Is it okay to want a good life as a Christian? Is it okay to want to provide a good life for your family? Or, is a Christian supposed to be poor and only care about spiritual matters? Watch this video to hear the answer I gave to a subscriber when she sent me this question. #GoodLife #Christianity #ComfortableLife #ComfortsInChristianity

Dealing with difficult and dysfunctional people isn't easy. Doing the things you would do with healthy people doesn't work. This video offers an easy-to-remember acronym in "Don't JADE."  This reminds you not to justify, argue, defend or explain because it only makes things worse. #dysfunctionalrelationship #difficultpeople #detaching #detachment #JADE

In this sequel podcast to "How You Lose Your Self in Neurodiverse Marriages, Elizabeth and Kathleen share how to restore your sense of self. Both are married to men with Asperger's Syndrome and are the founders of "My Aspie and Me," a private Facebook group for Christian women. They hear women in their group say that they no longer recognize themselves and don't know who they are. Both also experienced a loss of themselves in their...

There is a predictable pattern that victims go through when trying to figure out what is going on in abusive relationships. Anyone experiencing emotional abuse, verbal abuse or any other type of abuse knows how it feels to be on the hamster wheel of invalidation, second guessing, confusion, and gaslighting. Then something else happens. The victim gets clarity and starts to get strong. Then the abuser pulls out a new card which inte...

Therapists doing therapy with an abuser and the victim together are making a huge mistake that further harms the victim and decreases the chance that the abuser will change. Watch this video to learn why therapists should not do couples therapy with an abuser and the victim together. #couplestherapy #therapyforvictims