Botox - Filler - Boobs - Is it Enough? - Chatter Box Radio

Episode Transcript
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Unknown (00:01):
Welcome to chatterbox radio. Sometimes things go your
way. Sometimes they don't. Life,kids, heaven. It's quite the
journey. We hope you'll join us.

(00:21):
Hi, friends. Hi. Hi. Welcomeback April Larsen. And Karla
Allen. I have I've had them bothon my podcast separately. And
today we've come together. Andthat topic is so perfect. And
then happened with just aconversation with April and I.

(00:42):
But before we get into that, Iwould love for Carla to
introduce yourself and yourbackground. And same with April,
because we've recorded before,but we just let it roll. And I'm
sure people were like, who iswhat? What does she do? How do I
find her? I want to make surepeople know who you are and how
to find you. I'm Carla. Andlet's see, I'm 58 years old.

(01:09):
And I say that boldly andproudly, all thanks to Carrie
who told me one day to make surethat I proclaim my age with just
excitement. And so I do butlet's see, I'm a wife of almost
25 years a mom to two adultkids. I have a daughter in law.

(01:30):
And I'm asked Gosh, health,nutrition nerd geek just do all
the things I love, love, lovelearning and researching and
digging deep. I mean, I'm ahealth coach. But the main thing
is I just love coming alongsidewomen and helping them and
encouraging them and empoweringthem just to be their own

(01:52):
advocates and to thrive whateverseason of life you're in. That's
that's what I say is whatever siseason it is enjoy it and thrive
in it. Yeah, that's kind of myheart. My passion. Amen, sister.
I hear ya. What about you APR?
58?
i It's a lie. Why leave? Love,ya know?

(02:16):
Well, when I first met her, Iwas like, There's no way I was
staring at the back of her legs.
Like we're not supposed to.
Right? I'm just like, we all doit. For those hamstrings real?
Yeah. We totally check out otherwomen. Yeah, I told my always I
told Michael that the other dayI go, You do realize that when I
walk into a restaurant, I'm notlooking at men. Like I'm seeing

(02:39):
where I line up the other women,and I'm being honest.
I did, because I was like, youdon't need to worry about that.
I'm like, I'm just seeing whereI line up here, everybody.
I love that.
cop there. I told you I'm beingsuper vulnerable. Today, I'm
gonna tell you all my dirtysecrets. And that's one of them.
But I don't think I'm the onlyone. Right. Like, I think that

(03:03):
that's something that we all doin different demographics of age
groups. And yeah, we'll get intothat. But no, yeah, I you do
because when you're you areconfronted with somebody as
beautiful as Carla and who's asfit as Carla, your natural
instinct is to say, Oh, where amI next to that? Now that I think

(03:25):
the key is, do you use it tofire up? You're like, okay,
that's, that's encouraging, orinspiring? Or do you use it? to
intimidate or to be jealous orto desert? And you know, does it
create the bad parts ofyourself? Right? And that's, I

(03:45):
think that's something we eachhave to ask ourselves, because
for both of you, you guysinspire me? You just you just
you just drive it harder in me,you know? Well, tell us a little
bit about your background. Andthat means a lot what you're
saying and thinks let you do.
So. Yep, I'm I'm 45 this waslast April. I am a mom of four,

(04:06):
almost four fully grown adultkids, which are like, what how
is that even possible? Andmarried 20 years, been a full
time stay at home mom for youknow, 20 years, but decided that
I wanted to get into the beautyindustry mostly to help with

(04:28):
just giving myself something todo and feel outside of what I
do. Raising kids and being amom. Something else that could
help me financially or just makeme feel like I'm I'm adding to
society in some way. So that wascheese. I feel like it's one of
your gifts though. Because whenI met you years ago, you are

(04:51):
going to school for that. Yeah.
And you would pour into thesewomen. Yeah. And make them
feel good about themselves? Andyou're good at what you did. And
remember, you kind of had a, Idid have their own line here of
am I taking it too far? What'stoo far? Kind of thing? Yeah,

(05:13):
probably about, let's see, yeah,eight, nine years ago, I sat
with the Lord and just felt soheavy on my heart in my in my in
an industry that is so corruptand just it just that vanity
self focused this Hellenisticmyopic type mindset and I'm, I'm

(05:39):
involved in it and I'mencouraging it and right. What I
heard from him was so powerful.
And it was basically that whatother opportunity could you have
to get so close and intimatewith another person, put your
hands on them love on them andpray over them. And I just
remember walking away from thatand being changed in my mindset

(05:59):
of my approach, that it wasn'tjust going to be about beauty or
skincare or, but it was going tobe about the person. And I think
that's why I have returningclients because I honestly think
it's more than just a facial, Ithink that they're coming for
therapy, and they're coming tojust release something and you
both know the power of hate oftouch. And when we become

(06:24):
intimate like that with otherpeople, there's power behind
that. And so I don't take it forgranted. And I tried to be
really careful with what I'minfusing into people or the
energy that they're putting backin me or I'm putting in them
that kind of thing. So yeah, itdefinitely changed. It changed
for me at that point. And thenand then I felt good about it.
And so I I love it like Carla, Ilove pouring into women, I love

(06:48):
encouraging them. I love helpingthem to see how beautiful they
are and how much they have tooffer. And
it's definitely it's definitelya passion of mine, too. And I
know it's a passion of yours tocarry. For sure. Yeah. So where
do you think the eight, nineyears have brought? Like, where
do you Where are you at todaywith all of it? What are your

(07:10):
thoughts? Like? How are youfeeling about the beauty
industry? And you and Carla?
And, and also I thought, I betsome women are wondering about
Carla's surgery and being like,Oh my God, you're gonna have a
scar? We're gonnahave you Yeah. How are you going
to deal with that scar? Youknow, I mean, really? Have you
thought about that? Oh, Icouldn't care less. Who cares?

(07:31):
Right. So I'm so beyond that at58 years old, I could care less
about a scar that it will be mybattle scar. It'll be what I can
tell people the story about ifthey see it, you know, I mean,
yeah. But yeah, I that is likethe least of my concerns. So
Carla, sorry, Carrie. Realquick. I want to ask you a

(07:54):
question about that. So when yousaid at 58, I could care I could
care less. So when did thatshift happened for you? Or? Or
has it always been that way?
Have you always felt I couldcare less? Oh, I wish.
I wish I'd always felt that noeven happened for me. Yeah, it's
it's, you know, even as you weretalking in the intro and talking

(08:16):
about sizing people up when yougo in a restaurant, wherever it
may, it may be, and you use meas an example. I'm like, I am
the one over there. I mean,especially as you start getting
to this age, and you do goplaces, and so many people are
younger and beautiful and not awrinkle and, and all the things

(08:37):
and then there you are. The onethat is obviously a little more
well aged.
And it's hard. I mean, it takesa conscious effort. In talking
to myself and praying just Lord,let me be confident in how I
look who I am. And I mean, it'sa constant. It's never something

(09:01):
that just flows super simple.
It's something I have to workon. And because forever I was
the least confident person inthe room, no matter. I mean,
people are surprised when I tellhim that from back in, you know,
my younger days, 20s or whatnot.
I was I came across confidentbut inside there was zero

(09:23):
competence. It was it was allbeating myself up. And so now at
58 A little scar up my bellybutton. I mean, it'll get lost
in a wrinkle or something. So,yeah, I just I don't know, I
just that part I let I just letgo up, right? Because that's not
the big picture. But sometimeswe get focused not you because

(09:46):
you've made the decision, butothers like how can I do that to
my body, you know, or how can Ido that? That's such a sacrifice
what you're doing, and I'm so soadmire you for that. Yeah,
that's amazing.
No, thank you. And if, if yourlisteners don't know what we're
talking about, they're like,What? What is? What could she
does she get a tummy tuck?

(10:08):
Right?
Now, while they're there, thatwould be amazing if they just,
you know, a little bit but yeah,yeah, just briefly because I
don't want it to be about that.
But yes, I am donating a kidney.
And they go in laparoscopicallythrough my belly button. So it
will will not even be sevendays. Major doing this and seven

(10:32):
days. Yes, June 7. And all thatsix days. Yeah, in all the
things that you've had to gothrough to prepare for that.
It's amazing. And I'm ready. AndKarla has a podcast, and she is
just starting our podcast. Andyour age is not your cage, Carla
Allen. And the tagline is, yourage is not your cage. And she

(10:53):
just interviewed her friend,Tammy. And so you gotta check
that out. She's gonna get thatrolling pretty soon. So that's
cool. So Carla, what's the?
What's the idea behind? Age isnot your cage, is it? Is it more
about the fitness part of that?
Is it about the beauty part? Isit a combination? Is it a

(11:15):
mindset is all the above? Ithink it's all encompassing. But
I think the main thing is, it ismore mindset than anything,
because that's what holdseveryone back when when you say
your age is not your cage, thatcan mean you know, someone
that's 18 years old, that limitsthemselves in maybe speaking now

(11:36):
boldly about something becausethey feel like they're too
young, their voice doesn'tmatter. So they let their age
cage them in. And then the sameas you get older you. It's just
like this mindset of gettinginto that. I'm getting older.
Yeah, this is supposed to hurtor,
you know, whatever it may be,it's we just put this cage

(11:56):
around ourselves and lock it inaround a number. And just like
58 is a number I don't mostdays, I do not feel 58 And it's
weird, because I have friendsthat are in their 30s. And when
I'm with them, I feel like I'mtheir age. And then it's like,
you know, a light bulb goes off?
No, you're not you could betheir mother close to

(12:19):
grandmother, I don't know.
You know, so it is a to me, it'smore mindset really has nothing
to do with beauty or, orfitness, it all goes under the
umbrella of that. But it's just,it's your mindset and what you
do with that, at any age. Yeah,that was good. What you just

(12:40):
mentioned about when you were20, and how you struggled. And I
know for me, I've often thoughton my journey from teenage years
to now 45 I that. It's alwaysthat it's, it's, I look back,
and I think I was strugglingwith other with things. It's
like there, it's I almost feellike it's this false sense of a

(13:04):
goal that you're never going toget to like a thing that you're
and you realize, then it ismindset, it's, it's, it's
totally in my head because I wasjust as unhappy with some things
in my 20s You know, as I am nowand I'm thinking, well, that's
so dumb, like that was your newyour 20s you know, and then it
does make you realize it's justthe way that you are viewing

(13:27):
yourself or those. Yeah, I lovethe term cages, these prisons
that we put ourselves in,whether it be in the beauty
industry, or or like you said, Ilove that you said the thing
abouteven what you're able to do that
being confident in in thatthing, that slave that you're
being called to do is it's allabout in your your mind. And I

(13:51):
think that's why Scripture tellsus that we're supposed to take
our thoughts captive and renewour mind. There's so much that I
don't think we even understandabout our psyche and our what
what we ourselves are able to dothrough thought. I remember
years ago,it was actually our friend
Christie that recommended thiswoman. She's a brain brain

(14:13):
scientist, and she's aChristian. And her name is Dr.
Carolyn leaf. And she does areally cool brain detox type
thing, you could do a 30 dayprogram. And anyhow, she was
explaining what thoughts do inthe brain what they what they
literally look like in thebrain, and it looks like

(14:34):
broccoli and cheese. And sheshowed when a thought is given
more than you know, X amount ofattention. It shows what it does
in the brain and those roots ofthe thought grow deeper into our
brains basically. And then theystick in there and they you
know, she said so. So one of thebest ways is just immediately

(14:54):
you know, removing thosethoughts or switching the
thought to somethingnails, even if you don't believe
in it, because when you say itand you think on it, you know,
continuously, then it becomestruth to you. And then that's
what takes root. So, and also tothat is our brain doesn't know
the difference between the truthand the lies, we're telling it.

(15:16):
So if we're constantly speakingand importing negativity, that's
what it begins to believe. Andit's the same.
You know, when we're speakinglife into ourselves, and
positive and constant confidenceand same thing, you know, our
brain will, will do whatever wehelp it do. And that's, that's

(15:41):
been a big thing for me tounderstand. And also, with age
comes wisdom. And you just startcaring less about all those
silly little things that justbogged you down. 20s 30s, even
40s. I mean, you know, we keeplearning as we go. And that is
one thing that and that's whyeverybody says, Oh, I wouldn't

(16:02):
go back and be 20. Again, unlessI know what I know. Now, you
know, and I mean, so much wisdomhas come with it, where you just
start calling, I don't care, Idon't care what they think about
me, I don't care about this,that and it's and it feels so
good. So that's, it leads into agreat question I have because

(16:23):
you, so I'm 45 You're 58 care,you're 52 I went 52 and two
weeks, whoo, kind of write thatdown.
So it's kind of fun, because wehave 40s represented 50s
represented. Like, it's, it'scool. But one of the things I
wanted to ask was,so I feel like I'm in carry,
this was something you and Isort of talked a little bit

(16:45):
about.
I find myself. And here's thevulnerability part, like
spending an insane amount of myday, thinking about and taught
and obsessing about beautylooks, diet exercise. And I want

(17:07):
to always encourage myself tomove away from it. But I also
wonder, so part of it is becauseI'm losing it, like I know I'm
losing it, because I can see itevery day I wake up in the
mirror. And so there's thisweird place I'm in where I feel
still, like I'm supposed to berelevant. And I'm not supposed
to be invisible yet. Andthere's, there's there's women

(17:30):
my age who are getting manyfacelifts, and then they look
like they're 35. And being inthe industry that I'm in, I see
it all around me. And I'mconstantly, you know, like
monitoring where I fall in thatworld. And so then that's these
obsessive thoughts. And thenit's the How far do I go? You
know, do I get them anyfacelift. And I'll be really

(17:52):
honest with you guys, likeagain, this is I'm just being
super transparent. I've hadsurgery, I've I've breast
implants, I've had liposuction,I've done lots of stuff to
myself. And I can tell you with100% certainty, it's never
enough. It's never enough, likeI will find I find the next
thing that bothers me. And thenit's like, Okay, do I do that

(18:14):
now? So a I guess my questionthere were supposed to be a
question is, do you feel like itdoes start to become less
important? Is that because ofjust wisdom and aging? Or do you
think it's because of youchanging your mindset? And you
taking those thoughts captiveand you convincing yourself or

(18:35):
talking yourself down off thatyou know, that building so to
speak? Well first of all, I willjust say what an amazing
conversation because how manywomen probably want to say what
you're saying, you know, theywant to share about this and
speak this out and I absolutelylove it because again, it's

(18:55):
places where so many of us havebeen and you know in when so
we're being vulnerable andhonest and I mean I've done
nothing to myself ever except alittle facial scrub or or
something. But because for meand that is not a Ooh look at me

(19:16):
toot my horn you know, becausesometimes when I say it I feel
like people are going girl youshould go do something about
those lines and you know, youshould do this and do that. And
it's not to toot my horn is tosay because I was one of those
that was always afraid itwouldn't be enough and that I
would want to keep doing moreand more and more. And also one

(19:39):
could I afford to keep doingmore as we got down the right
you know, because it does get soconstantly but also it was also
fear of oh my gosh, I will bethe one that one eyebrow goes
one way the other goes the otherway. You know I'll be the one
that the crazy things that I do.
I'm not doing it. YeahI mean, the crazy things would

(20:00):
happen to him. And I alsostarted getting into what if I
went and did something likethis, whether it be implants, or
lipo or tummy tuck, and I diedon the table for what. And so
that's where I went most of thetime with mine, it wasn't for
lack of not wanting to do it,because trust me, I mean, I'll

(20:20):
stand in front of the mirror,and you know, and pull things
back and pull the neck back intoall the things and imagine what
it would look like to be likethat again. And then I find
myself just going, let that go.
It does not matter your, yourwrinkles, your lines, they show
you laugh a lot, you smile. Butit still does not mean it's

(20:42):
always easy when you look in themirror, and you're putting on
that makeup and it's not goingon like it used to. And it's
fallen in the creases. And it'swhatever it may be, it is a
constant, reminding yourself andchanging your mindset and loving
who God made you to be as you'reaging. And I'll say one more

(21:03):
thing on it is that I've alwayswanted to try and reflect. And
it's again, where the age is notyour cage comes in. If I'm
reflecting this of your age isnot your occasion, and embrace
aging, embrace your age, but yetI'm out doing all this surgery
and doing all these things. Whatam I telling people embrace your

(21:26):
age, however, go do all thesethings. And I want my daughter
and young girls coming up behindme in such a time this age,
where they're so pressed to doeverything so early, of knowing
it's okay, you do not have tosuccumb to all that you can just

(21:47):
be you and do what feels rightfor you. And again, that's zero
judgment against anyone else inwhat they decide to do. But
that's what was right for me.
And it's, I feel like I'd begoing against everything that
I'm saying, if I was out there,you know doing that? Yeah. Well,
I'd be a hypocrite to say, youknow, don't do it. And you

(22:08):
shouldn't do it because I havedone my own things. I breastfed
five children do the math onthat. And I had that done for
myself,physically, to make myself feel
better, because things didn'tfit, right. I didn't like how I
felt. And so I did that. For me.

(22:34):
There were other things likeBotox or fillers that I've done
in the past, where I've said,I've done it for me, but I'm not
I really doing it to look likemy friends. And people think
that I'm prettier or younger orwhatever. So I took a break from
that. This is funny. Becauselast January, April, and I were

(22:57):
going to February, one of thetwo I got paid on one of my
voice accounts because I waslike, I can't do that, you know,
now we're gonna do video, I justwant to do a little bit I hear
on these lines. I want to do alittle, you know, right here.
And it's no big deal. And I havethe monies. And I felt the Lord.

(23:18):
Like, I just felt like, don't doit. And I was like, well, who's
that saying that? You know? Isthat my other Alter Ego, Tina?
Hey, Tina, shut up. Yeah, I'mdoing this. I go and do this.
April and I are going to recordthe very next day. And that's

(23:38):
when I realized there wassomething called a fish hook.
I don't know what this girl didto my face. And I don't even
know what she was doing. Ididn't know how much I just said
a little. I had one I find theother I look like a hook a gun
into my foreheadand pull it out like this.

(24:01):
And then this eyebrow like this.
So it's taken since then. I'mlike every night like Come on.
Wait, do you have to wait forthat to go away? Well, yeah,
yeah. Oh my gosh. Wow. So thatwas fine. It's not like a filler
that I think fillers, you candissolve. But Botox, you just
gotta ride it on out. Now. Idon't know what they can do now.

(24:24):
But I was never going back thereagain. And I wasn't gonna do
that again. And I learned mylesson. Big time and over the
years, I feel like it'sawareness number one is just
being aware of your life andyour thoughts. If you are aware
for one second and go what areyou think about? What What am I
thinking about for five minutes?

(24:47):
You're going to know what you'refocusing on, whether it's
working out or the way you lookor your food or relationships,
or whatever. Because in themornings, I was stuck every
morning I'd wake up and think ofOut. Money are the problems are
my job's like, all the time, andit was obsessive. And then when
I was like, What am I doing? Andthat sent me down a really, you

(25:08):
know, dark path, being aware,and then switching it and start
saying all those things of,everything's gonna be okay, I'm
safe in this moment, I can paymy bills, I can do this positive
positive, because exactly whatyou're just saying.
It gets stuck in yoursubconscious, and it believes

(25:31):
it's truth. And then you startacting as that is truth. When
it's not, you keep tellingyourself, you're ugly, you're
going to believe you're ugly,and you're going to act out all
these things. Because of thatone thought, you know, but if we
can stop the thought, like yousaid, at the very beginning,
take that thought captive, andjust deny it, I'm not going to

(25:53):
think that. And even if it's,you have to say I'm pretty or
I'm secure, or I'm happy, andyou're not saying it, and keep
saying it, praying and all thethings but you're to it for
yourself. Because it's going tochange, it's going to switch.
And so now when I wake up, I'venoticed I'm not thinking about

(26:16):
that anymore. And I was like,really? It really does work.
That's awesome. You have tochoose. Yeah, that's awesome. I
think I was talking to my sisterin law about this, as well,
couple weeks ago. And she shereally believes that it's a
generational curse for me. Andshe kind of went into why she

(26:37):
thinks that and she's known mefor 20 some years now. So
but being raised in SouthernCalifornia, and I'm not saying
that this is I know that there'scountless other women that
battle this and deal with it.
But growing up in SouthernCalifornia with a single mom who
lived vicariously through me andmy sister, she never was thin,
she struggled with her weighther whole life.

(27:03):
You know, she got me intomodeling she there was there was
a she was very excited abouthaving a cute little daughter
that she could dress up and makelook pretty. And I think that
there was a message sent to meat some point. And maybe through
that, and also through, I didn'tI think growing up as a
Jehovah's Witness and then notand being bullied in school.

(27:28):
There was a shift that happenedaround 1415 years old for me,
where I all of a sudden startedbecoming pretty like, and people
were giving me attention forthat. And I was being liked for
that. And I was being I wasrelevant now. And I was
important now. AndI think that the fear, because
it really is, it's comes backto, you know, we either are

(27:48):
looking through a lens of loveand freedom or fear. And I think
that the fear behind it for meis I'm not going to be relevant
anymore. And I'm not going to beliked or loved or accepted. If I
let this go, or if this this is,you know, changes, because it's

(28:09):
something that I think I'veidentified with now has God told
me over and over again, who whatmy true identity is? Yes. I
think it's a matter of how do Ijust really wrap myself in that.
And then again, I mean, you bothbeing in the fitness industry in
the health industry, you know,you're like, okay, but I also

(28:31):
need to make sure I'm just, I'mtaking care of this body like I
want to be so that's where youknow, as writing down in the
notes, like where's the line?
Because I can't seem to figureout the line between obsession
and constant worry and trying tohang on to this false identity.

(28:52):
And just health and well being.
Yeah, that makes sense. Yeah.
Well, you would ask yourself, isthis affecting my life in a
negative way? Like, am Ispending less time with my
family? Am I not doing thethings that I need to do? Am I
Am I happy? Am I happy rightnow? Am I you know, obsessing
over you know, this, you've gotto self assess. Awareness is so

(29:17):
big, this is huge. You've got tohave self awareness, and then
know what the tools are, to takethe steps to get out of it. You
know, that's what I was gonnasay. Yeah, being aware. I mean,
like, step one is being awareand, and then take situation.
Yes, exactly. BecauseI don't know that that awareness

(29:39):
of where you're at. And thenwhen those thoughts come in is
when then you can take themcaptive in and speak, you know,
life and truth over yourself.
And, you know, it doesn't mean Idid want to say too, it doesn't
mean that we can't do thingsthat make us feel good.

(30:00):
I get my hair highlighted, youknow, I have exact lashes, you
know all the things, it doesn'tmean, we can't do things that we
love and that feel good. But Ithink we always need to look at
what is the motive and thepurpose behind it. Yeah, there
are some people that are justworking to save money. Yeah. And

(30:21):
even believe some of the storiesI've heard about women coming
home, and they don't want togive anybody any ideas, but they
go and they pulse money out, youknow, at the grocery store. And
then they'll go over here andpost money, or they'll, and
they'll make a box and theircloset stuff. I have clients
that do that. Yeah. And then Ihave women who will hide money

(30:44):
from their husbands so that theycan come get facials and spend
tons of money. Yeah, so and thenthe girl came, and the girl was
home one day, the box flew offthe shelf, just flew off the
shelf, what boxes?
It was pushed, landed in frontof her husband.

(31:06):
What was that? What is this? Andshe she told him? And of course
he was, you know, pretty madabout it. But yes, we learn that
we will go to great Xextremities to fulfill this
need, like whether it's money,or it's time or hiding it, I had

(31:26):
it, I hid it from my husbandyears and years ago. And still
silly. Like what? Yeah, that wasgonna feed my ego to make me
feel a little bit prettier. So Ican act hotter. I mean, he
doesn't even know when he seesme. So if I am I doing it for
him? I'm not doing it for youcan't even tell ya. No, no, no,

(31:52):
they don't care. They love us.
And that's, that's, that'sthat's what I'm talking about
with the whole. I think it's,it's, it's more about, it's not
about getting the attention ofmen. I think it's more about
staying relevant within thedemographic of other women that
are our ages or what that'sculture is saying you should

(32:13):
stay on. I mean, for Pete'ssake, Kim Kardashian is my
around my age. Yeah, I'm justlike, and of course, that
message to me is, you shouldlook as good. Or as young as Kim
Kardashian looks like, is itever going to be enough for her?
Well, have you seen what theycan do with all the Photoshop? I

(32:33):
mean, it's insane. We think allthese people look that way. And
they don't. And I love that youkeep talking about being
relevant, because I think thatso much of it, and we want to be
relevant to all those womenaround us. And, and as you get
older, you are, it's like oursociety says you're not

(32:55):
relevant, what you say anymoreis not relevant. I think there
is that thing of beinginvisible, and how beautiful if
we can step out and show that weare relevant or not invisible.
And it's because we areconfident that we have an
awareness that we have Christ inus, and we're not going to allow
the world and the culture andwhat everybody's doing to form

(33:15):
and shape who we are. And, youknow, I think the more and more
that we can do that we can stepout, we can be bold, and say
we're not going to put up witheverything.
I mean, we become more relevant,but really it i It doesn't
matter if anyone else thinkswe're relevant. It's it matters.

(33:36):
What I say seeing other people'sapproval, and not exactly, which
is I mean, the whole world. AndI want to touch on what Chelsea
said about your husbands andbecause I think that's an
important piece of it too.
Because if it weren't for myhusband, I mean, he is the one
that builds me up continually.

(33:59):
He still thinks I am the hottestthing in the world. And he's
known me since I was 21 yearsold. So he's he's seen me, you
know, walk through a lot. And heis constantly building me up and
talking about and when youlisten to that enough and
receive it enough, where therewas a time, I might not have so
much but at this age, it's evenmore more so I hear it because I

(34:24):
truly hear it from him. And Isee it and he didn't see another
woman in the world, but me. Andso I want to see that. You know,
I want to see that same thing.
And I know not everybody isfortunate enough to have that in
their lives. But it doesn't haveto be someone else. It can be
yourself. You can see yourselflike that. And I tell myself,

(34:44):
I'm not trying to be anysomebody else. I want to be the
best that I can be. Yeah, youknow, and I now my eyelids are
drooping every day that I getolder and that's gonna happen
But if I can just feel the bestthat day. And it's all about
your mindset, you know, yourmental health is so important.

(35:09):
Your mental health is set,right? All this other stuff is
going to come right in the line.
And when I say mental, I'mtalking mental, spiritual,
inside who you are, God made youto truly be you're not an
accident, there's a reason whyyour feet are stuck on a ball
floating in space right now. Andit's not just to be here and
set, you have something and lookand look as something to do. But

(35:34):
if. But if we're distracted, andwe're constantly comparing
ourselves to the next girl rightnext to us, or what they're
doing and what I'm doing, howmany hours are we done that? How
many hours have we wasted? And Ithink at our age, what is also
happening is we're realizing,Oh, this, this, we do really
have one lakh, this thing doesnot go on forever. What are you

(35:57):
going to do about it? Are yougoing to sit around and keep
rushing and spending money andtrying to look better for who,
or you're going to get out thereand make a difference. And if
it's, I'm not saying just pourinto the people around you, your
children, you're creating thesehumans, you know, and affecting
their lives for the rest oftheir lives. But I wanted to

(36:21):
tell you one quick story. Wewere talking about it before. In
April, you had sent scriptureand it was I think, Ecclesiastes
three nine. And then there was aRomans, what was the Scripture?
1120 1121? Through 23. Yeah, itwas Ecclesiastes is what it was.
And right before that, the Lordreminded me of this story, one

(36:42):
of my bosses at one of the biggyms, she
had just gotten married, and shewas little, they had agreed that
they wanted kids. And then shewas like, came to me in
confidence and said, I don'tknow if I want to have kids. And
I was like, Okay, well, that'severyone's choice. Well, what's

(37:03):
the holdup? And she's like,well, I thought I always wanted
to have kids and my husbandwants like three kids. We wanted
to have a family and said themwhat's wrong? And she said, I
don't want to run my body.
And I was like, Okay, I getthat. And she's like, how did
you get over that, because whenwe were having this

(37:24):
conversation, and you know, abasketball team, practically.
And I said, because your body isgoing to be just one day, like,
you really have to wrap yourmind around this thing is not
forever. And that's a sacrifice,of love, that you that is

(37:45):
eternal. Like you that spiritthat is coming to this world
that you're bringing in, isforever. And that is so much
greater and satisfying than mehaven't stretch marks on my
stomach that isn't going to bethere one day, anyway, because
I'm going to be dust. So I waslike, you really need to sit

(38:06):
with your awareness and yourwhy, why would you make that
decision? You know, and then gofrom there. She has four kids
right now, just so you know.
Well, and I, you know, I thinkto that carry it is if you can,
if you can look at it that mostof the wrinkles on this face are
from my kids, probably. Yeah, Ithink there's a couple in here

(38:27):
from sunny too, but, but also,if you can look at it that yes,
I never, I never lost that lastlittle bit on my tummy because
of my C sections. Or yeah, maybemy my chest isn't where it needs
to be, because that I fed mykids. And that is one thing that
you know, Sonny has alwaysreminded me of that, that is the
beauty to him in any of it. AndI just think if we can try and

(38:53):
look at it that way, and notfrom the lens of the world, but
look at it through the lens ofGod who created us and and
created this for that. And it'sthe greatest gift ever, you
know, in my life. And so I justtry to remind myself of it
again. There's times I'll catchmyself in the mirror and go

(39:14):
whoa, wow. Okay, well, those arelittle bit south from yesterday,
butthey make things to help that. I
want to say like, it's not easy.
is dealing with that ego. Imean, if you haven't dealt with
it yet, there'll be a day. Yeah.
But also if you can laugh withit, and here's me, you know,

(39:35):
sharing and being vulnerable.
But say you're you're goingsomewhere and you're wearing
that, you know pretty tight,sexy fitting dress, but
underneath girl that thingyou've got the you got spanked,
she got things holding thatquestion up. And it's like, I
love it when I do that. And thenwhere before I put the dress on
my show Sunday. I'm like, Ah,this way you can think about all

(39:57):
night and it's, it's like everFree thing. It's not what you
want to see. Yeah, yeah. It'sall the hidden secrets. Yeah.
Going on there. Yeah, exactly.
Any What about you a bra? Youwere such good stuff, by the way
thing. And you both are suchhuge powerhouse wisdom. And I

(40:18):
knew that I was going to besuper vulnerable. And I think
that God wants me to be andwants me to be transparent. And
so I have no, there's no remorseor feelings of like, oh, I can't
believe it just shared that.
Because it's just it is whereit's, it's where I'm at. And
it's what I've been strugglingwith and battling with. And I
think bringing it to the surfaceand sharing it with people that
I trust and love so much andadmire so much, I think is a

(40:41):
huge step. And it's soimportant, I think, otherwise,
you just live in that darknessalone, or you live in that place
alone or the struggle alone. ButCarla, you Oh, shoot, I just
lost my train of thought. Isthat what happens with h2? Yeah,
that's there. Yeah.

(41:02):
You know, it's like I saidbefore,
because you are sharing likethat, and you are being
vulnerable. I do believe that.
So many women want to have thisconversation, they want to be
real, they want to share howthey wish they could get over
that. And they wish they couldgive up this habit of spending
money they don't have becausethey're trying to keep up or

(41:25):
whatever, I believe fullheartedly that women want to
have these conversations they'rejust afraid to, and we're in the
age of people don't want to bevulnerable and appear weak, or
whatever it may be. And it'slike, if you can just let it go
and lay things out there. Itjust opens the door for you to
keep doing it. And then it opensthe door for other women to do

(41:47):
it to us.
You know, people hide the mentalhealth or the struggles that
they have. That's why I came outand did all this because No body
wants to talk about it. Nobodywants to say that they have a
mental illness or how they dealtwith it. So same thing, like
what we think about ourselves,and then like what we do that's

(42:08):
so personal. And you don't knowthat every other girl out there
is thinking the exact samething. I don't know anyone that
doesn't have something thatthey're bearing in there.
Because if they said it, oh mygosh, you know me, you know, and
I'm Mari you. And I it wasfunny, because after your trip

(42:32):
and we talked a roll, it waslike you knew it. You were like
we need to talk about this. Andit's been a topic that we've
talked about, but you're sopassionate to get the word out
there. Yeah, just an open endeddiscussion for for. So I did I
tell you did we talk after I gotback from the Caribbean, we took
a 20 year anniversary trip withthe kids and went to the

(42:54):
Caribbean. And it was awesomeand amazing. And I told Carrie
that. I mean, Carla, I have notkicked my own butt as hard as I
did before that dang trip. Asfar as exercise goes. I was
lifting every day. I was I meanyou guys carried because I was
like I was on like a seven day.
I mean, I just hardcore going atit because I wanted to be like

(43:14):
is there a bikini contests?
Is there like a money prize?
The only reason gladstar myselfand,
and I so I did right I did formonths and months and months.
Michael had broken his foot inSeptember and he was home and

(43:36):
and so we had an idle ton ofdowntime to be able to just let
me let let him be responsiblefor some things in the house.
And, and then I just go to thegym every day, right? Just doing
this every day. So what Carrieis referring to is we go and
yes, I was feeling Uberconfident in my bikini and I was
feeling super confident, youknow, on our excursions, and

(43:59):
then I come home and then I lookat the pictures. And I mean
literally my first thought was,Why did I even try because I
look awful. And I look fat and Ilook you know and that is not
who I thought that when I likethat's not what I thought I
looked like, like when when whenmy you know as I'm standing
there, you know thinking allthese things and I the second I

(44:22):
thought it I went there'ssomething wrong. This is not
this isn't this isn't good thatthat was their first thought it
was after I saw that I wasn'thappy. It was like there's
something so wrong that needs tobe addressed with this because i
Is there ever. I mean becausethat's the first time I thought
okay, I've done it all I've doneit all. I mean with the

(44:42):
exception of tummy tucks and youknow extreme other things I'm
thinking if you are notsatisfied and happy and can't
see yourself as beautiful or youcan't see yourself as strong,
which I am I'm so freakin strongI could go out run and outpace
20 year old right now.
With how strong I am, and youcould you both could to, I don't

(45:04):
give that weight. I don't givethat, you know, I don't consider
that as being amazing. Instead,I consider what my I see and,
and the comparison next to aKardashian or next to the
celebrity and think it's notgood enough because it doesn't
look like that I don't sit thereand think, Yeah, but look at how
how, you know, strong you are orlook at all the things you've
done or the babies you've madefrom this body. And there's,

(45:27):
there's, there's a shift thatneeds to happen, like you said,
carry in, in my own mind, and inthe mind of other women, that we
give more credibility and moreconfidence to what our bodies
have done and can do than whatthey physically look like.
Because sometimes those mightnot line up. That just may not

(45:47):
line up. And so, you know, Ithink that it's just for me, I'm
like, I'm ready to move pastthat. I'm ready to just give
myself the freedom to say it'sgood enough, girl, it's good
enough, you've I could startcrying right now. And you've
you've you've done, you foughtthe fine fight, you've you've
worked so hard for this. Now,just what you just appreciate

(46:07):
all that it's done for you.
Because there are women, andthere are people who can't walk
for Pete's sake. And who, andI'm sitting here grasslands are
with no breasts, right? We couldthe list goes on. Yeah, I mean,
it's just, and something else. Ican't remember which of you said
it, but is the legacy and andwhat I want to be known for. And
and the thing is, is that I it'sso ironic, because when I look

(46:30):
at I mean, yes, I was alreadyhonest about my quick assessment
of where I lined up physicallywhen I walk into a room or
something with other women. Butas far as my admiration, and
what I what I find honorable andwhat I find, as you know, just
awe inspiring, has nothing to dowith physical appearance. And I
can sit there and say thatconfidently about my opinion of

(46:53):
others. But why can't I say thatto myself? Why can't I give
myself that because, becauseit's like, that's what I just
think is amazing, is what I seeand other women that are is
inspiring. And, and that's whatI hold up. That's what I think
of is incredible. The and sothere's a there's a

(47:15):
there's a separation there foryourself. And I think a lot of
us do this where we don't giveourselves the same credibility
and, and honor and recognitionthat we give to everyone else.
And I think that's part of thelie of the enemy. I think it
keeps us stuck. It keeps usdistracted. It keeps us from
being you know, truly and fullywho we are in Christ. And I

(47:40):
think like you guys said thestarting the conversation is
where it needs to happen withwomen, and then encouraging one
another on tools of how we getunstuck, and how do we start
speaking, those things we sayover each other to ourself?
Yeah, and I think that's a keypoint, too, is what are the

(48:01):
tools because we can we can sayall these kinds of things
forever. And you know, what arethe tools. And you know, one of
the things that I've told mycoaching clients in different
things is, you know, whatever itis for you, if it's putting
sticky notes everywhere you goon your steering wheel, on your
mirrors, on your refrigerator,wherever you go the most.

(48:21):
Whatever it is that continuallyreminds you of who you are,
whatever it is that you need tobe reminded of. And, you know,
as you were talking, I just mademe think about, I mean, think
about people, women, that you'rearound that just exude this
beautiful piece aboutthemselves. And you can tell

(48:44):
it's not fake, you can tell it'sreal, you can tell that they are
confident in themselves, andthey fully just love you for who
you are and what you look likeor whatever. And it's I mean,
when I'm around someone likethat, I feel it and it's just
like, you know, I was a genuine?
Yeah, yeah, exactly. And it'ssuch a beautiful thing. If you

(49:07):
can make people feel like that.
That's where your true beautyis. Yeah, it's right there and
making people feel loved and youcan't unless you love yourself
and accept yourself exactly theway that you are. Yeah, always,
ever, ever. Everything startswith who we say we are. And I

(49:28):
and I again, like this is I'veI've encouraged and mentored
other women in similar things,which is so funny, because it's
like, it's like the struggle of,you know, my own personal battle
with the awareness of I know, Iknow what God says and I know
who he says I am. And that butthe but the battle still rages

(49:51):
and it's like so yeah, it's allI think everything comes back to
identity. Everything comes backto who do we say we are and who
does Christ sayEr, and are we aligned with it?
Do we walk in agreement with it?
And another it's just it's sopowerful. And the more that I've
learned, is just like with milesand mental illness, you know,

(50:12):
when he was going through allthat all his stories that he
would tell us that he thoughtthat had happened. Were stories
from movies that he left on atnight time while he was
sleeping, y'all. Wow. Yeah,that's a subconscious, D tilde.
He was like, Well, what aboutthis, and this and this, it
happened? I remember I wasthere. And I was like, Yeah,
that was in that movie. Youknow, he was notorious about

(50:34):
leaving his music on his TV onand all this is just discovery
over experience and, and howthose things are planted in your
mind while you're sleeping.
They're actuallyaudio that you can get and play.
It's positive, tucking in itspeaks like ASMR. And real soft

(50:55):
and in music. And it just speaksthat so while you're sleeping,
you can hear it you can do withscripture, anything. It's about,
ask yourself, What are youwatching on TV? What are you
listening to in the music? Oh, Ijust like the beats. Yeah. But
when they're, you know, sayingsome really terrible things.

(51:16):
Your subconscious is absorbingthose words, whether you like
the music or not. So you've gotto assess, and what are you
looking at magazines, tick tock,Snapchat, yeah, all these kids
compare compare AmericanAmerican mirror. So my mission
isn't to just help othersthrough a podcast and have them
become more self aware, I wantmy children to know this, and

(51:39):
implement the tools that we'velearned. Because if, like, we
always say, if I would haveknown then what I know now and I
tell I told him last night, Iwant you to get this now, you
will be a bigger light, you willbe more secure, you will know
who you are, you will go on andbe mighty in this world, instead
of just being what, what you'redoing is you're just letting the

(52:03):
enemy take over and oppress you.
And you're giving your choosingto give him the power. And I
feel the young age of selfawareness. Right? Yeah, yeah.
And, you know, for me, anothergreat thing that people can do,
if it's their body, if it'stheir image, if it's if it's

(52:25):
that that is so difficult tobelieve that your your
beautiful, is standing in frontof a mirror, you can be
completely naked, or put on aswimsuit or something. And just
completely tell yourself, I'mbeautiful, you know, um, God has
created me this way this is,this is my stomach does this

(52:47):
because God created that way,whatever it is. Because with me
having trauma and abuse of mypast, and my body being used in
ways that shouldn't have been,you start to not, I mean, you
don't believe then that it'sbeautiful, and that it's for

(53:08):
even beautiful with yourhusband, and whatever. And once
you start getting the enemy outof that, and you start pouring
that in, in you continually,like I said, if it takes a stand
in front of that mirror, nonstopand repeating that, and I've
done it, and it's I mean, it hashelped me. And it's helped me
just ignore those little, youknow, flaws of the things that

(53:31):
held me back. It's just anotherway to fight back. And it's
another way to take thoughtscaptive. And also the thing that
I've hung on to so deeply is wehave to fight with spiritual
weapons, and that's with theword and that's with, you know,
all the things choose a peace,all the things that get us in a
place, and it's fighting withthose weapons, not the worldly

(53:55):
weapons.
And just fighting back andletting the enemy know that he
has no place in your body, inyour home in your family, and
that it is time for him to go.
That's good. Yeah, and I wasjust going to piggyback off that
really quick. The other day Idid, I did something kind of
similar, is I stood in front ofthe mirror and I thank God for

(54:18):
every piece of me, like Istarted from my head and I went
down you know, thank you for youknow, this face, you've given me
this beautiful hair and, and Icould tell like as I was going
through that and as I was, bythe time I got to the end, I
could feel a physicaldifference. I could feel a

(54:38):
difference in just my mycountenance, my attitude. So I
think that's huge. Even if andI'll tell my kids this in other
ways, is even if you don'tbelieve it, there's a saying
that says that goes right.
Feelings follow right actions.
So you may not feel it.

(55:00):
But but it'll come when you whenyou act upon what it is that
you're trying to bring forth.
You know, if it's confidence,like you said, Carla, if it's if
it'syour quenching the lies. It's
okay if it's not your I hatethis term today but like it's

(55:20):
okay if it's currently not yourtruth. That's okay. Like, we can
still walk in what we want to beour truth, even if it's
currently not the truth and soyeah, I thought that was so
good. And then I also justwanted to comment too on the
kids thing I will say this that,whether good or bad, we'll see
the outcome of this, but I havebeen 100% honest with my girls.

(55:40):
And I've told them everything.
I've told them what I've done.
I've told them how it's made mefeel. I've told them my regrets.
I've told them why I've.
And I think that's huge, in thesense that I don't ever want.
First of all, I've always beenvery honest with my kids. And

(56:01):
I've, I've always been verycommunicative with my kids. And
because I want them to see thatI'm human, I'm imperfect. I've
apologized profusely over andover to them for mistakes I've
made things I've done, I neverwant them to think that I'm
superior, or have some sort of,you know, demigod mentality over
them that I just nothing,nothing wrong happens or I don't

(56:24):
have a motion or whatever.
But what's been really greatabout it is that it's opened up
the opportunity for my girls tosee when you do go down this
path, like here is what can mostlikely will come. And it's that
it's never enough, at least inme, and I share that with them.

(56:45):
Everything I think yeah,exercise dieting food. I mean,
I've got down to the weight thatI wanted to five times after I
have my kid was it enough? It'snever gonna make me out. It's
never gonna Novia enough, right?
Get back on my jeans. And that'swhen I was like, it doesn't
matter. No, it's, it's thesession on that scale that I had
for so many years. And I wouldtell my clients, if you want to

(57:09):
get depressed, go step on ascale every morning. Because
your your weight is going to bedifferent every day. Anyways,
every day need is you need agauge, let's try once a month or
every two months. But I did thesame thing. Yeah, well,
sorry. Before we leave that,because I lost this thought a

(57:30):
couple of times when you hadbrought up like, I'm trying to
remember what you said, but howdo we not focus on that? How do
we know when we're doing toomuch with fitness, nutrition,
whatever it may be. And I thinkit's also when the shift begins
to happen. When we are doingmore for our literally our

(57:52):
health, we want to do the bestthings for our health. As we get
older, we want to do the bestthings for our bodies, say say
fitness training, whatever itmay be, say lifting weights, I
want to do that, because I willstrengthen my bones and my
muscles. And if I fall, then I'mbetter protected in that, you

(58:13):
know, and then nutrition wise,is this serving my body? Well,
you know, are these things thatare going to help me as I go
along to, you know, potentiallystay away from things like
diabetes and whatever it may be?
I think it's when we go moretoward how can it help our long
term health versus how can I getthe best biceps and not that

(58:34):
it's wrong that want you know,nice, shapely biceps, that's
okay, too. But when it becomesthe focus and the obsession over
just, you know, when I'm outwalking, because I mean, we all
know I love to walk and it's,it's I'll be out there going,
Lord, thank You that I can walkthat someone else cannot walk
today that I am out herewalking, thank you for my health

(58:57):
in that way. And I think if wecan turn it to those kinds of
things to the Focus starts tocome off of
you know, okay, so I do have alittle roll around the middle or
whatever. So okay, that's allright. You know,
that's good. That's super good.
Off of both those things. Sosomething that Christy and I

(59:19):
have been talking a lot aboutis, I think it's, I think it
comes from a Hebrew word, or aHebrew translation of a word
that I'm not going to rememberbut it's it's, it's, it's
translated as, as beast, a beastmentality and that we are not
created to be beasts and she andI've talked a lot about what
that means. And one of thethings I was listening to in a

(59:40):
podcast was that not knowingwhen to stop, not like this,
like cancer, like cancer doesn'tknow when to stop. And that the
beast in us is this I'm sorry,my, your, that the beast in us
is that same thing? There'snothing that will satiate it. It
just won'tStop. And that that when we stop
and say, uh, hold on, I am not abeast. I was not created as a

(01:00:04):
beast, I was created as a imagebearer of God. And I thought
that it was just so powerfulwhen we realized because it
like, like I keep saying, it'snever enough. You're You're,
you're always chasing thisthing. And that applies, by the
way, with everything right? Wecan apply that to finances, we
could apply that to, you know, Imean, I I've always been,
although I will say it hasn'thasn't been a problem for me as

(01:00:27):
of late, like probably the lastseveral years. But even moving
to Texas, like, I remember justfeeling so frustrated that I was
not where all y'all werefinancially, that we didn't have
the house that we didn't havethe acres that we didn't have
the things that that I thoughtwould bring me happiness that I
thought would be the thing thatwould give me what I wanted. And

(01:00:47):
I think that that is that isthat beast nature that we can
either obey and listen to, butthen we're going to constantly
feel frustrated. Because once weget there, and I've heard this
from so many differentcelebrities that have reached
the top, and then they're like,the top is kind of lame, like,

(01:01:08):
like, what's next what I needsomething more I that was why a
Tom Brady went back into, intoplaying because he had won all
of it. And then he was like, andthen it was done. And he's like,
Well, I don't want to be done. Iwasn't enough. So so I feel like
that's such a powerful thing torecognize in us and realize that
but you know, it will neversatiate if we can't find

(01:01:32):
contentment, we'll never be ableto reach that point. And I think
that that's what heaven is for.
I think that is what we're alllonging and groaning and waiting
for. But we were trying to fillit and find it with these other
things. When really, it's oureternal home. That is what we're

(01:01:53):
all hungry for. And thesetemporal things just not going
to they're not going to do it.
And that comes down tocomparison, everything as you
were talking, I just kept in myhead kept hearing that
comparison is the thief of joy.
I mean, it just is that seems sobasic, but it is in every area
if we could just keep our eyeson Jesus and our focus in our

(01:02:16):
lane and our family and whatreally, really matters because I
will say when you start gettingto this age, and as I creep to
60, which seems so strange, andyou start like Carrie, you said
earlier about, you know, yourteens, 20s, even 30, you're not
thinking I'm headed toward theend, even though you could die
the next day in a car crash orwhatever. But when you start

(01:02:39):
getting here, oh my gosh, thegratitude and the contentment in
the not comparing as much becomeso much easier and so much more
important because I just want toenjoy my family, my friends in
the space the Lord has me inand let go of that comparison.
Now tomorrow, I may be rightback over here comparing but

(01:03:01):
that's okay. I'll start over andkeep going. And that's what you
have to do. Whatever the doctortold you you had one week to
live. Would you spend that weekobsessing about your ring call?
No good. Ending with the timewith your kids, you'd be
traveling, you'd be callingpeople you'd be writing letters,
all the things because that'sreality, you're not gonna live

(01:03:23):
forever, and you could dietomorrow. And then when you are
in heaven, and you're doing yourlife review, and you're talking
about all the things you did,are you gonna sit around and be
like, damn, I just spent like,20 years. I look at my face. I
looked at it. Look at me.
Yeah, no, it's true. It's true.
No, you you'll be pushing Aprilin front of you in line, she she

(01:03:44):
needs to go first.
Let her talk to my patient getall the way to do my facial.
But one of the things before wefinish, I wanted to say was one
of the things that helped medeal with my issues was being
still adjust being still. Andor, you know, if you, if that

(01:04:08):
feels uncomfortable, then go toa therapist, like talk about it,
bring this topic up, whateverthe topic is for you, whatever
the obsession is for you bringit up talk about it. Because
when I'm laying there, and I'mhung on something like what you
said April about whatever it is,right? Say it's beauty for you.
And you were talking about that.
And this was my thing, and whenI'm still and I say okay, this

(01:04:28):
is mine, and it's hard to giveyou because it's so hanging on
me tight this insecurity, thisobsession, this thought, why can
I stop? And I really go with mybreath. And I really just
visualize my spirit going up andmeeting with the Lord and
sitting in a beautiful place anddrowning out everything else.

(01:04:49):
And I say here why? And whenthis happened, this this
happens. You know, I've done itseveral times, but this one
particular time, he brought up amemory
In May, and I had net I had, Ican't tell you I've ever thought
about it since the incident. Andhe brought it up and I just bald

(01:05:10):
and bald and bald, I kid younot, I was free from that
obsessive thought thatinsecurity just went away. And I
realized I needed to deal withthat I needed to deal with the
pain that was there that Ididn't even know about God
needed to, let me feel it andlet it pass through me. And now

(01:05:32):
it's gone. And so sometimes it'ssomething that's happened to
you, or over and over, that'shappened to you, that you've
accepted and believed aboutyourself, that's such a lie,
that no one's going to solve it.
Except if you go and just bestill with the Lord, it will be
miraculous what you can discoverabout yourself and release.

(01:05:54):
Yeah.
My last thing that I would liketo add that I thought about too,
is also if it helps, and youhave that that person in your
life, that friend that can helphold you accountable, that you
can honestly and vulnerablyshare me and I'm really

(01:06:14):
struggling today I was at thegym, and this is what was going
through my mind. And I wouldlove to have you just pray with
me and pray for me and help holdme accountable to this and asked
me about it. You know, I thinkthat's such a beautiful thing,
too. If we if we have people wecan invite in. I mean, again, it
goes back to how beautiful wouldit be is if as women we just

(01:06:37):
invited others in into thatvulnerability, and we walked it
out together, you know? Yeah,that's really good. Yeah. And I
was just gonna say when you weretalking Carrie about being still
with the Lord. I think anothertool, like what you're saying to
Karla is, is having communityhaving the right community, the
right people, the right women, Ithink is key. And even just

(01:07:02):
talking to you to today likethis and being real and being
vulnerable, that it's, it's,it's a release, and it is sort
of like this, okay, that's outthere. And and it's so helpful,
I think in growth and in thepruning process and the refining
process. So yeah, thank you toboth of us for such great advice

(01:07:24):
and tools. And yeah, I will saythat I'm past the age where I
care aboutbeing right or needing to feel
like my mic like a, what's theright words? You know, where
you're just like, well, I look,I look stupid, or whatever,
like, I don't care anymore aboutlooking stupid. Like, it is what
it is. I feel like being justhonest with myself and with
other people, I think is a moreendearing quality. People want

(01:07:46):
that that's what they're lookinglike, fit yourself, you know?
Yeah, just laugh at yourselfdance goofy, if you want to
dance. Yeah, be it. Yeah, itdoesn't matter in that I wanted
to mention that book, becauseI've talked about it before at
the monthly women's group, I do,but because it had such an
impact on me, but it's calledFind Your people with Jenny

(01:08:09):
Allen. And April, as you weretalking about in Curie chimed
into on it, you don't just openthat to anybody, not everybody
is meant to be in your safecircle. And that's one of the
things this book I booked Iearmarked and highlighted so
much she shares a lot aboutthat. And what that truly looks

(01:08:29):
like having you know, yourpeople, and that that book had a
lot of impact. For me. Importantthing that I need to say about
that is please pick if there'speople in your life that are
acting that way, and feedingthat insecurity of yours. It's
okay to let them go. The ironicthere's not,

(01:08:53):
there's not, there's not ifanything, I have the opposite
problem. I've told you thisCarrie that I have the opposite
problem of finding community andpeople here. No, no, none of
them are I'm not talking to you.
I'm not talking to you. But likeanyone else that's listening.
Like if there are people aroundyou that are living this fake
world lifestyle and, and you'renot feeling that that's giving

(01:09:15):
you much then it's okay to lethim go, you won't be alone.
Because I've also come torealize that once you start
changing that about you, you'llstart to see that the right
people will start being comingin to your life attracted to
that. Yeah, so I was just gonnasay, unfortunately, this journey
I've been on over the last yearit's like

(01:09:40):
God's brought me back fullcircle to my Texas people, which
is so interesting. And you know,and so I've talked to Michael
about that. I'm like, so what'sthat about? I mean, you know,
I'm like the community, thegreatest the best women I'd have
in my life right now. I'll livein Texas. Like are we supposed
to move back to Texas? Likewhat's that about? Yeah,
and you areis your house for sale yet? No.

(01:10:02):
It's, you know, April, I thinkwhat that is about to the piece
of it is the age, the wisdom,the things that, you know, when
you and I have talked, it'sletting go of things that happen
before that when you look back,you're like, who was that? And
what was that, you know, it wasjust so silly. And, and so I

(01:10:25):
think it's just growth and it'sjust growth in the Lord. And
it's just realizing, again, whatis important and what's not. And
I think for you, and I'm notspeaking for you, it's kind of
my own journey to is, God isleading me to the people that he
wants in my life. And that's,that's regarding Carrie and I

(01:10:49):
reconnected again to you know,and I love that Carla. And
that's I couldn't agree with youmore. And that's what I've come
to the conclusion of, too, isthat because there's outside of
just this topic, and there's somany things that I've God's been
doing in me in the last three,four years, that I think is
evident. He's bringing certainlike minded people, Carrie,

(01:11:11):
Christie bohart yourself now,you know, which was the quote,
one of the coolest things isprobably happened to me this
year as having you be broughtback into my life. And and I
don't think it has to do withlocation. I just, I think that's
the other thing is like, wedon't have to sit here. And what
a beautiful thing that we havetoday is the ability to have
relationship and conversationlike this spanning 1000s of

(01:11:34):
miles, but we can have this kindof connection and be able to see
each other face to face and allthat. So it's so cool. It's so
cool. So I love it. And and thenmaybe it's too I mean because
you all I do have history withwith you guys from Texas, so
maybe the maybe the goal wouldbe okay, you you reconnect in
the similar ways with thesewomen and then maybe God will

(01:11:57):
bring more of these kinds ofwomen to you, you know, they're
within your community. I've letgo of having any expectation.
I'm trying really hard to justlearn the contentment of where
I'm at right now. And thenasking God who he wants to be
for me in this season and try togo key into that and walk in

(01:12:19):
that and be okay in thatuncomfortability whatever that
is not not over, analyze it ortry to put too much expectation
on it, you know, yeah, or findthe answer. So, anyway, this is
really good. Thank you forcoming and being with us today.
And we're definitely having bothof you back again, because this
is too good and we're gonna pickanother topic and get after it

(01:12:41):
was awesome day. Love you. Bye

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