July 22, 2023 • 61 mins
Ever found yourself in a tight spot, trying to navigate a loved one through sudden mental health struggles? This episode might resonate with you. Our guest, Keri Gassaway, takes us through an emotional journey of her husband's sudden bout of psychosis. Their story is a testament to the power of compassion, understanding, and patience, especially when mental health comes to the forefront in relationships.
Have you ever felt like a maze runner while seeking quality mental health care? Her husband's experience highlights the very real challenges many face in accessing the right healthcare, particularly when it comes to mental health. We also delve into the impact of the Amen Clinics and the benefits of supplements. But remember, always seek professional help first and be a staunch advocate for your own self-care.
Keri talks about her transition into health coaching and the birth of her own business, Live Well by Keri. www.livewellbykeri.com. Listen as she shares her experiences with creating bespoke diet plans — notably for her daughter grappling with PCOS — and connecting people with the resources they need. Through it all, Keri's story is a reminder of the transformative power of wellness and balance, regardless of the turbulence we encounter. Prepare to be enlightened and inspired by this intimate conversation on mental health, love, wellness, and hope. Thank you, Keri, for your bravery in telling your most personal story on mental health.
For questions and a free health assessment, please contact Keri Gassaway at:
www.livewellbykeri.com
livewellbykeri@gmail.com
www.thechatterboxradio.com
www.carriefarris.com
Thank you for listening to our show! If you are looking for meditations, breathing exercises, yoga or aerial yoga (@CarrieAIRYoga), we've got that too! Check out our YouTube videos Especially developed to increase brain flow, stimulate the vagus nerve and relieve stress. If you are on Facebook, Instagram, YouTube or Twitter, click and follow! You are apart of other people's healing. Join me and let's make this planet a little nicer.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
KG and CF, another Carrie Carrie, except she spells
her name way cooler than me,I've always told her that and I
knew for a long time.
Yeah, and I'm so happy you'rehere me too and you've been
through a lot as well and Ithink it was just all about the
timing that we needed To gethere to this moment.
(00:21):
And we've had dinner you knowcouples dinner.
We've talked through a lot ofthings in the past, and and we
could sit here and talk about awhole bunch of different things,
because I'm like swirling in mymind.
Oh, what about this and whatabout yesterday?
Yeah, all that, but I want togo ahead and just ask the hard
questions Right now.
(00:42):
Dive right in.
I'm ready for so, for themental health Issues that you
all have been through.
You went through this with yourhusband, who is also named
Carrie.
Yes, and.
It was a couple of years ago, ayear and a half ago.
Speaker 2 (01:03):
It started.
It was it started two years ago, in August, so yes, 2021.
Speaker 1 (01:10):
So tell me about the beginning, like I Remember him
saying you were sitting in aparking lot, just had dinner and
everything was fine, yeah weliterally went from one minute
of having a Date that was likejust such a fun date.
Speaker 2 (01:28):
We had connected well , we were having a lot of fun.
He had tried new food that heusually he's not picky, but
necessarily he just like, youknow, like sushi.
But he had been so sweet thatnight and he was like I know you
love sushi, let's go have sushi, you know, and so and he ended
up loving it like it was just agreat night and, honestly,
(01:48):
within like 10 minutes from thatparking lot to the drive home,
like there was just such a shiftin him and he was experiencing
some pretty extreme anxiety andLike his, the things he was
saying, his gestures like was.
Speaker 1 (02:06):
Was he all of a sudden becoming nervous or shaky
?
Like what were the signs?
Speaker 2 (02:11):
Yeah, it was more just like you know.
I mean like I was ready to makeout, you know, I'm like Like we
were just connected, you know,and he just was like I don't
feel right and like just kind ofLike from my point of view just
felt like kind of like a bummer.
I was like what do you mean?
Like?
you were doing like what I don'tunderstand and he was just like
(02:32):
I just feel really anxious andlike he just couldn't shake it
and I had Just being honest from, like my point of view.
So he has a personality that isvery Detailed.
He was, or he still is.
I mean, he's just a veryregimented like you.
Speaker 1 (02:56):
I can know routine.
Speaker 2 (02:57):
I could know what he's doing, where he's at almost
any point of the day, andthat's a thing that I love about
it.
Like it provides so muchsecurity for me, like I love
that part of his personality andit's it Makes him a very safe
person.
But for a free-spirited personlike me, it could also make me a
little Frustrated.
(03:19):
You know, I'm like, you know Iwould want him to, yeah, so in
that moment I felt likesomething like that was
happening.
I had no idea what was you knowabout to come.
So I was a little like Harsh, Iwould say I was just like I
wasn't tender and like hey, likeyou know, I'm sorry, like
(03:41):
what's going on.
I was just kind of like prettylike irritated that.
Speaker 1 (03:46):
This is a fun time and you're just day, you know,
still it spoiling this party.
Speaker 2 (03:49):
Yeah, I was like I don't.
I just don't understand whatjust happened, you know.
So Also, part of the story isthat we had had this.
We if anyone knows us, knowsthat we move around a lot.
We're always up for likeadventures and different things
like that.
So we had had this great ideabecause he works all over Texas
(04:11):
that we would have.
We sold, like our big house andwe had two apartments, one in
the Dallas area, one in Austin,and we were kind of both going
back and forth but it it wascreating a little bit of
separation, more than we hadever had because, there were
days that you know we were notin the same city and because he
drives- a lot pharmaceuticalsales.
(04:35):
So we were in that state and forme it didn't affect me.
I just I stay pretty busy and Iwas, honestly, every time I saw
him I was like twice as excitedto see him because we were
having some of the Distance youknow, for him that part was a
little harder because he, whenhe was away, he wasn't with his
(04:57):
family, so we still have onedaughter living at home.
So I I say all that backgroundto say that in that moment, when
all of that's happening, andthen I Did not handle it well
because I thought it was, youknow, just something else.
And so then the next day he, hewas going back, he was
traveling back to Austin and Iwas staying there, and so that
(05:20):
was kind of the progression whenit really like started to hit
he.
He got home and he was byhimself for several days and he
just began to have like thesevery intrusive thoughts, just
constant.
He couldn't shake it and hekept calling me and he's like I
just I don't know what's goingon, but I can't shake this, you
(05:42):
know, and I'm still like I feellike you're just being like
obsessive, like just let it just.
The major man else you know like, I don't like and and this is
also me being a not what knowingwhat's going on.
You know, in marriage you havehistory with people, so you're
thinking you know it's otherpersonality traits.
(06:04):
And then on top of that we'reall busy, right Like.
I'm thinking like I can't dealwith this right now.
I have clients to help or Ihave, you know, I have things to
do and so I was in a space ofkind of like Just not responding
, well, frustrated frustrated.
Speaker 1 (06:25):
This is never happened before you know,
together a long time.
He's super fit.
Yeah, that's how you met himwas.
He was a tennis pro.
Speaker 2 (06:32):
Yeah, yeah well, I've actually known him my whole
life Really.
He and my sister went to schooltogether and so, like always,
knew him and his family.
But yeah he's always been likeand that's something that we had
common ground on was just,we've always worked out together
like we are.
You know, we both were on thesame page with like how we ate
and like what we wanted to dofor our health, and Something
(06:55):
again I was so thankful for itwas just feeling like this
extreme of you know, I'm like I,I don't understand, like what's
happening to you.
So he just really continues toget worse and is Super
struggling, reaches out to somefriends of ours and Slowly from
(07:19):
that point he just began likeactually isolating himself from
me and would not like answercalls.
And because I was unknowingly,I was like kind of like Adding
fuel to the fire.
Yeah, I was hurting more than Iwas helping and you know that
was my heart.
I just I truly did not know whatwas going right.
(07:41):
So On one hand, he's telling mesome things and on the other
hand, he's really shutting meout and he's like confiding more
and in some close friends whichyou know.
At the time I felt reallyhurtful because, as his wife, I
just wanted him to talk to me.
In retrospect I'm super gratefulfor friends that were there to
(08:02):
listen and Just be there for himwhen I was, you know, not in an
understanding space.
So fast forward about a weekand I'm shipping him like books
and sending him like Cards andlike words, and just like trying
to.
I'm finally realizingsomething's not right.
(08:23):
Still a lot of questions, butI'm like well.
Speaker 1 (08:26):
Maybe you're thinking this is more serious than what
I thought it was absolutely.
Speaker 2 (08:31):
But at the time I still didn't realize the
magnitude of what it was goingto be, or that.
You know my kind, my shift tokind words weren't gonna change
it either.
Because even though I made ashift in how I was Caring for
him and trying to help, and youknow, you know, I mean of course
I was like Try this smoothie,or you know, like, yeah, like
(08:54):
anything I could think of.
Speaker 1 (08:55):
You know it was like sending him books and like I
love you so much in prayer.
Speaker 2 (09:00):
Yes, all the stuff, like I'm like I'm now in the
battle to help him and love himthrough it, even though I still
don't really fully understand.
But I'm like let's figure itout.
And so that was kind of thebeginning of us starting the
process of so many differenttypes of doctors like which the
(09:21):
specialists are really hard toget into quickly, which we
needed some like quick answers.
But China, like findpsychiatrists and your
chronologists, because he, hedoes have thyroid issues, he
doesn't have a thyroid at all,so he's on thyroid medication
and I had a really like gutinstinct that that had a part of
it the whole time.
(09:42):
Yeah, but a lot of the like yes,okay, it was definitely the
culprit of like why it started,but I couldn't get anyone to
listen to me because of thesymptoms he was having.
They were, they were notconnecting the dots, but I just
(10:02):
like, I knew it was like a mom'sinstinct, but but for my spouse
, but you, just you know thefacts because he had changed his
medication right before that.
Speaker 1 (10:11):
Yeah, thyroid is affects your pituitary gland and
your emotions and your hormonesand everything and I had known
so when we first started datinghe had experienced.
Speaker 2 (10:23):
This is when he found out he had thyroid cancer and
he had experienced major socialanxiety, which that was my first
.
I'd never even heard of such athing, you know.
I didn't understand then either,but that once he addressed the
thyroid cancer, had that removedand got on medication that
never came back.
He was, he was okay, and sothat's why I just but I put two
(10:45):
and two together.
I'm like I've seen this beforein a different way a little bit,
but I knew, I Knew that was atleast part of the root of it and
so All time I mean we went tomultiple family physicians er's
Tried really hard to get intoendocrinologist Finally would
(11:06):
get appointments.
There was at one point wefinally had an appointment with
an endocrinologist and he endedup having such an episode that
day that he literally I had totake him to the ER.
So we couldn't get to ourendocrinologist appointment and
it was just this like cycle ofall these Roadblocks and not
feeling heard and people notreally like listening.
Speaker 1 (11:27):
I mean at one point.
Speaker 2 (11:29):
One of the doctors said you know what?
You just need to thinkdifferent thoughts.
And we were like, yeah, yes,this, if it was that easy.
Yeah, that would be amazing,it's surprise it's.
Speaker 1 (11:41):
I can't even think of the word word because
surprising just doesn't do itfor me.
But when Miles was in thehospital, because he was an
adult, they could have releasedhim at any time once he was
cleared physically.
And so we were like you have togive him a psych test.
Yeah, you have to, we have tohave that.
It was so important.
And we finally got it.
(12:02):
And the guy asked him threequestions Did you try to kill
yourself?
Yes, do you want to right now?
No, are you going to?
No, okay, you're clear.
He's not mentally ill.
This is what the hospital saidWow, yeah, yeah, the care.
Speaker 2 (12:21):
And I genuinely don't believe that people, you know,
whatever type of physician or ifthey're in the healthcare realm
, I don't believe that they havebad hearts and they don't want
to help or that they don't care.
I do.
I mean, maybe some don't, but Ibelieve that there's so much
misinformation, not enoughinformation, just really like
(12:48):
such a lack of understandingwhich I get because, like I said
, that's where I was at onepoint, like I just didn't get it
but and you don't even knowwhere to go, there's no, it's
like there's no, like, oh, Imean Google, where do you start
when this happens?
There's no such thing.
It's not like saying, like youknow what do you do when you
break your leg, I mean it's like, yeah, it is all like uncharted
(13:10):
territory and it is, the crazything is it's so time sensitive
and it's so critical to get goodhelp quickly, but it is
impossible.
Like this process went fromAugust to I finally found some
help for him.
(13:30):
October 15th was when we wereable to take him and I don't
know if many days more of hewould have lived, because it
just it was progressivelygetting so much worse.
He was in a state of psychosisand that was induced by how far
off his thyroid was, like it wasway off which was also some
(13:53):
negligence negligence on anotherphysician's part in the way
that they changed his medicationand didn't tell him.
Speaker 1 (14:00):
Mm.
This is, oh, my gosh girl.
I can't.
Speaker 2 (14:04):
So just unpacking all those things, living with a lot
of guilt myself for not knowingwhat to do and for not always
responding right, but it'sincredibly taxing on a caregiver
, like it's exhausting, becauseyou care so much and you wanna
find the answers and you wannado the right thing and you're
(14:27):
also just literally.
There were moments I wasphysically holding him up to
walk, like every second of ourday was about how do we get him
through the next moment, mm-hmm,and I know how you feel.
I know you, yeah, and which isreally wild to me because, to be
honest, during all of that, Itend to have issues sometimes
(14:53):
with overthinking things.
But you and I had not spoken ina while, which was kind of I
mean, we didn't spend a lot oftime together, always because of
just life and living indifferent cities, but we had not
spoken for a while and Iremember starting to think I
think she's mad at me, or youknow the silly girl thoughts
that you have, just that likesomething different is wrong,
(15:14):
and then come to find out you'rewalking your horrific journey
at the same time At the exactsame time we're on this.
Speaker 1 (15:22):
It's unreal.
Speaker 2 (15:22):
The path which I don't believe is you know.
I mean it's not a no, not atall, and thank goodness I don't
even remember how we initiallyreconnected again, but I think
it was through me, ann, probablyyeah, because she's the one
that let me know.
(15:43):
You know what was.
You know to a degree, what wasgoing on.
She's like, oh, she's goingthrough hard season two and I
was like, oh okay, yeah, none ofthis is about me.
I mean you know what you get inyour head like.
You're for real.
It's like people are just goingthrough life.
And stuff is hard and you gotto check on your friends and you
got to just not makeassumptions and you know, and
being in the position that youwere in, it's like you're just
(16:06):
trying to get through your day.
Speaker 1 (16:08):
You're trying to keep your loved one alive and find
answers and you can't thinkabout anything else.
Speaker 2 (16:13):
Yeah, you really can and there's not a lot of outside
support there either.
Like you're walking a lot of italone, even emotionally, Like
people just don't understand andyou're trying to protect your
loved one for their dignity andtheir.
My husband is the mosthardworking kind, Like just I
(16:36):
mean, if there's an example ofjust like, a good kind, normal
human being, he's never raisedhis voice ever in my present
I've never heard him.
He's just consistent and solid,and this like amazing person
and for the world to see him anydifferent.
You know, I never wanted topresent him in this light of
(16:59):
like, oh, your husband's gonecrazy you know, and it's like,
although it was.
Speaker 1 (17:05):
It's almost like look , it can happen to anybody,
anyone.
I mean this man who I've knownjust everything you're saying, I
mean from an outsider lookingin he wins the award for like
the nicest guy in the world,Just so.
Speaker 2 (17:19):
Loves his family and good man, yeah, Diligent in his
health, like diligent in hisfaith, like absolutely not
perfect and he's grown immenselyover the course of our marriage
, but just generally speaking,like he didn't do anything to
get this or deserve this or gothrough this Like to walk
through this.
Speaker 1 (17:39):
Yeah, it was drugs it was out of the blue.
Speaker 2 (17:42):
Just, you know, we truly believe that there's, you
know, absolutely a purposebehind it and that God will use
it.
And you know certainly he wouldabsolutely never want to suffer
through it again.
But he's willing to take whathe's gone through and try to
help and it did, Consequently,actually ended up creating a
(18:08):
better marriage and relationshipfor us, and just we are better
people in general for it,because both of us have so much
more compassion and justPatience Patience.
Gratitude, gratitude foreverything big and everything
small, because you just realizelike life can change quick and
(18:33):
there's a lot harder things than, like you know, sitting through
traffic or something stupidthat could, like you know, make
you go berserk at one point inyour life.
Speaker 1 (18:43):
And you feel so silly for looking back and getting
upset over some really minorthings.
You see things a lotdifferently, for sure.
So, october, what happens?
You finally got them somehow.
Speaker 2 (18:56):
Yeah, so we such a cool God story in that too.
And just of course I was.
You know, I was doing all thethings I could do physically
research, like just trying tofigure everything out, trying to
find doctors, doing all thisstuff but I was simultaneously
praying, begging God, and I canlook back now I have all these
(19:20):
prayer notes in my phone andjust seeing how, like, how
desperate I was and how he didactually come through with
answers for us.
And I didn't always see it inthat very moment, but over time
I was in such a space of like Ieither was afraid.
(19:40):
I just was afraid we were goingto lose him, like that.
It was really so far beyond mycapacity to do anything I could
barely like keep him aliveanymore.
And but we had visited someplaces that I was like.
I also was like I cannot leavehim here, I cannot leave my
(20:00):
loved one here.
It was terrifying to think thatI was going to leave him there
and so, but I also knew Icouldn't continue this.
So I was actually trying.
I found a place in Californiaand I was trying to get him out
there.
So I knew I couldn't get him ona commercial flight and have
(20:20):
him last through three hoursLike there was no way.
So just even through theairport I probably couldn't have
gotten him on the plane becausehe was still like just severe
anxiety and these intrusivethoughts.
He was weak, he was gettinglike frail and just it was just
really bad.
He didn't sleep for almostthree months.
(20:43):
I mean awake constantly, whichwas perpetuating.
Speaker 1 (20:48):
Yeah, and that makes it worse.
Speaker 2 (20:49):
So I'm at this point of desperation.
I think of a friend who I knewhad his pilot's license and I'm
like I'm going to call him andsee if he can get a hold of the
plane and get us out there.
So, oddly enough, I call himand he happens to work in the
(21:10):
same building with a lady who isliterally all over or over all
of the state of Texas mentalhealth facilities Like she.
I can't even describe exactlywhat her job is, but she knows
in detail, like what they're allabout and like knows who runs
them, like what you know?
So she, he connects me to her.
(21:32):
She buried graciously at 8 pmat night, not during her working
hours.
Like she calls me and walks methrough all this and she's like,
do not get him to California.
Like I know where you need totake him and it was, it wasn't
covered by insurance, so also bythe grace of God, like we were
(21:52):
able to pay for it.
And that's something that's onmy heart a lot, because not
everybody can, but not there's alot of people with the same
need and not everyone can accessthat kind of quality care.
And I know that it saved hislife and it was, you know, a
full team of seven people, likea social worker, a psychiatrist,
(22:14):
you know, just like a nursepractitioner, like just a whole
team and this was a manager inHouston and I can't speak highly
enough and there you know, forour experience it was amazing
(22:35):
and I felt, I mean the minute hewent in, the very first night,
he was prayed over and loved onand it wasn't even just, like
you know, the expertise of thephysicians, it was also just the
people there and their heartand the way that they cared for
him and I finally felt like hewas safe.
Speaker 1 (22:56):
You know I've heard a lot of great things about that
place.
Speaker 2 (23:01):
Yeah, no, it was amazing.
And to finally feel like Did ithelp?
You have help, support and thatthere's actually hope that
somebody's actually really goingto look at what's going on and
help you figure it out and helpnot just and I am not against
using medication as needed or aspart of the plan or a tool,
(23:22):
like I'm not and we've had to doit but I refuse to just like
hand over this once healthy,thriving man and be like just
drug him up so he's, you know,still like not coherent but he's
not ready to kill himself.
You know, I knew there had tobe better and deeper answers and
(23:47):
I knew I had exhausted all theresources I had and I did.
I felt like I was out of spacewhere I couldn't even keep him
safe anymore.
So to just feel like you couldsafely hand someone over to
people that were not going tojust dismiss him as a number and
(24:09):
shove him in a room and throwout some medicine and be like we
did our job, but they reallycared and they worked with him
and he met friends in there andpeople who have very, very high
level, high functioning people.
Like the stress in this world,you think people their physician
, their professor, theirprofessional athlete they have
(24:31):
it all.
They're hurting too and they'restruggling and they need help
and they need answers.
There's no person too high andthere's no person that's too low
, I guess, or like there's justan immense need for this kind of
help across the board, like asnormal of a person, as you can
(24:54):
think, and as like it doesn'tdiscriminate no, not one ounce.
So that aspect of it was goodtoo, that he I just I realize
now that's such a part of all ofour healing and just general
health is just connection andconnection to the right people
(25:14):
and being able to talk and shareand like be vulnerable and it's
not fun to share with peoplelike the hard things that you're
going through, especially tothat level.
Speaker 1 (25:30):
I'll never forget one time.
It was back in Houston when wewere living and we had a friend,
and it was the frame where youdo the play dates right, and I
had suffered through postpartumdepression five times.
So I knew what it was, I knewhow to write it out, I knew how
(25:51):
to self-care at that point.
And she had come over and Iremember she said something to
me and I decided to open up toher about it and the first thing
she was like I was so shockedat her reaction because it
wasn't.
Oh, I'm so sorry.
You know, I've felt like thatbefore.
I wasn't looking for, you know,this big thing, I was just
(26:15):
letting her know.
Hey, I've been kind of goingthrough this, so if I'm acting,
whatever.
And she just was like you know,I've never been able to
understand people like that.
I've never felt that way.
I don't know what that is.
And you know, I have aconversation with my sister
about this once and she wastelling me that she was feeling
like that.
I told her just snap out of itand she left.
(26:38):
I was like she didn't get it.
You know, I have family membersthat couldn't get out of bed.
That were amazing people.
It's not a choice.
Sometimes we do choose towallow in our own stuff and stay
depressed and go through allthe lists and have a party with
our, you know, feeling sorry forourselves, but we need to be
(27:01):
able to have people to talk to.
And one thing that I'm gladabout all of this discussion I'm
hoping people if there are, ifthere is still a person out
there, because this was like 20,18 years ago we didn't have a
lot of information, so maybeit'll, you know, open someone's
(27:24):
eyes and ears up to maybe not beso insensitive Because for that
person to actually admit it outof their mouth to you, to
everything they had and trust inyou as their friend.
Speaker 2 (27:43):
And to dismiss it just totally invalidates what
they're going through.
They already feel so much shameanyway.
I mean my husband had to workthrough.
I mean, even though it wasnothing he could control, he had
to work through a lot of shameof, like what you know, just not
(28:03):
being able to care for hisfamily and, like you know,
having to get help and being inthat space and being a man,
being provider for his family,that identity that they take on,
yeah.
And that was, you know.
That was, you know, really notthe first experience in our
(28:24):
family with some mental healthissues, but I do.
I can say that, backing up towhen it started, you know,
becoming something.
That was this, this ongoingmessage God was trying to get
through me or to me.
Speaker 1 (28:42):
Through past experiences.
You mean yeah?
Speaker 2 (28:45):
And I've had some friends with you know other
people in my family where I toowas like I don't know.
I mean, I've had hard thingsand I just like you, just keep
going work hard, like just getover it.
You know, like there's, like yousaid, there's a place for that,
there's a place forresponsibility for ourselves and
ownership and what we are, youknow, supposed to do in life.
(29:08):
But there's a big difference ina real illness or suffering,
and we would never in a millionyears tell a diabetic or someone
with cancer or like, suck it up.
Just you know what's yourproblem.
Speaker 1 (29:24):
Yeah, kind of, I've never had that.
Speaker 2 (29:27):
Like why can't you just get over your cancer?
Speaker 1 (29:29):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (29:31):
Like it is.
It is an actual illness.
It is an actual like there aremany different problems going on
.
It's not any one thing, I guess, and everybody experiences like
there are different types ofmental health, I guess.
Speaker 1 (29:48):
In extremities.
Speaker 2 (29:49):
Absolutely so, it's you know.
But sometimes, yeah, it's like Imean, just get over your
chemical balance just orimbalance you know, like that's
just kind of an overarchingattitude for some reason about
mental health, and then theother side of it is just the
Hide it, suppress it, likethere's shame around it.
(30:12):
There, you know, and it's likeI Wouldn't feel shamed to say my
child has diabetes and we couldreally use some prayers and I
really don't know what I'm doingwith this disease to help her.
But you know, if you'll haveany tips or if anybody can help
(30:32):
or if you can lead me in theright direction.
Somebody, please help me.
You know, but whenever it'sRelated to mental health, it is
like you, you can't announce it,you can't ask for help, you
can't I mean Not without somejudgment and.
And a lot of misunderstanding.
So that, like then, my heart isnot even to to judge the people
(30:56):
that feel that way or arejudging.
It's just to create someawareness and some eye-opening
about how you respond to people,like you could even just listen
, even if deep down you don't,still don't understand.
Just listening can be the mostpowerful thing for someone
(31:17):
that's suffering, like Because,like you said, like they've got
all this stuff bottled up andfor them to get to, yeah, just
open up and share can be a hugepart of their healing.
Oh, absolutely, you know so, andthat's a space that I work on
in myself because, you know,having I haven't experienced
(31:42):
extreme mental health issues forin my own body, but I have
witnessed the destruction andthe pain and the hurt and the
suffering and other people verydear to me, and I had to learn
and grow and figure out how tohelp and respond and and so
(32:02):
anyone can like, whereversomebody's at in that journey
like you, you can learn like,you can learn how to do better
and you can learn more about it,even if you don't understand it
now, and I just it reallystarts with just listening and
just Deciding to have a heart ofcompassion instead of a heart
of Judgment.
(32:23):
You know, and yeah yeah, sowhat?
Speaker 1 (32:26):
how long was he in there?
He was in there for seven weeks.
Speaker 2 (32:32):
So, yeah, he got to come home right before
Thanksgiving, which was amazing.
He was definitely Still notlike a hundred percent himself
when he came home, like thejourney continued for his
healing for sure.
He, to this day, I mean hestill has to do, you know.
(32:57):
He knows what he has to doevery day to like Manage, you
know and to to feel good.
Nothing, nothing to the extremeat all of what he felt when he
was in the thick of it.
But there's there's a lot ofgratitude for for the healing
(33:20):
and for getting you know overthe humps.
But there's always a little bitof fear there too for both of
us to ever go back.
You know it's a, so Any littlething that feels off sometimes
can be super scary and and youcan want to, just you know.
Speaker 1 (33:38):
Go right back there where you are emotionally.
It's so fresh.
Speaker 2 (33:41):
Yeah, it's pretty, it's, it's an actual trauma.
I mean, it's a trauma for sure,and your body doesn't know the
difference in in.
It happened two years ago toyou.
Think it's about to happenagain right now.
Yeah and it feels the same andit feels terrifying in different
ways for for both of you.
But yeah, I mean the themanager clinic helped stabilize
(34:10):
him, helped you know a protocol,like he did.
I always forget the name ofthese treatments.
He also did some.
They're Brain stimulation, Ifeel like.
It's like EMR.
I want to say a DM EMDR.
Is that the tapping one or noEMDR is?
Speaker 1 (34:30):
the one where they take you.
Aaron does this, she's atherapist.
You have to be a therapist, yes,to be able to do that, and they
wouldn't do it with miles,because he was in psychosis, but
once he was out of psychosis,they take you through it and
it's supposed to be just a gamechanger.
She lost her baby by drowning.
(34:51):
Well, when the baby was 18months old, this therapist and
EMDR saved her Aaron's life yeah, by being able to move on and
move past it, and so now she's atherapist and actually helps
people with that.
That's amazing.
Is that what you did, or I?
Speaker 2 (35:09):
did I think I think so it.
I know that it was.
They had like a cap on hisskull and had like these.
It only gets to like the graymatter, I believe, like it
doesn't the stem the brainstimulation.
I think it is the EDMR, becauseof the.
(35:30):
The initials that are coming tomy mind are too close to that
for it to be.
I don't feel like somethingdifferent.
But anyway, he that was part ofhis treatment protocol.
Of course they were able tofind some medication to help
like Stabilize his thoughts andlike work, work with that and
(35:52):
he's been able to wean down toreally low dosage of that.
It's not you know, which isamazing, like he had to use what
he had to use initially but hewas able to to wean down off of
that his.
We stay very on top of histhyroid now and Really only use
very trusted Physicians andresources for that, because it
(36:16):
it can be.
I don't.
I don't know if people realizehow much a thyroid can really
like Wreck your body or makeyour body feel amazing, like
it's yeah, it's like the centralcontrol system in the brain so
People will kind of look at mefunny when I would even say like
that that was part of the thingyou know, and I was like no,
it's, it's very powerful and soHaving that's just another thing
(36:43):
I would encourage if peoplejust said Get labs, like if you
feel off and you know in any way, like just don't hesitate to
get labs done and really seeksomebody that will look at
what's going on, cuz even my mom.
Speaker 1 (36:58):
She's, she's, has a hypothyroidism, and that was one
of the reasons why she was inbed for six months.
She didn't know, and part ofhypothyroidism is depression and
so it does.
Speaker 2 (37:11):
It's all connected and people can think oh, I'm
just being lazy, or I'm just youknow, you know I just why am?
I depressed yeah, everything'sgreat, you know, physically
cannot function in the way thatyou're meant to, or feel the way
that you want to feel, if thosesystems are not intact.
And so I, I just the idea, orif you're depressed or something
(37:34):
.
There's, there's so manysystems in your body that can
contribute to all of that.
And can you know, like you knowall this with even just like
what you're eating and your guthealth, and like there's,
there's just so many things youcan help, absolutely enzymes.
Speaker 1 (37:48):
Have you heard of the amen clinics?
Yes, yeah, and so someone hadtold me about that a friend.
She took her daughter there.
It was great.
It's really expensive.
They do the brain scans.
They can tell you exactly ifyou have the money in the time,
yeah, I would recommend going todo that.
It's an.
They have debt.
They're in Dallas, chicago, la,new York and maybe one other
(38:11):
place and and so they havesupplements and that's where we
tried Probiotics for the brain.
There's specific probiotics thatare made for your brain and for
other things you know, likeyour gut or whatever, and so we
did a lot of that.
Lions, main mushrooms Amazing.
(38:35):
I would recommend going to yourdoctor and you know what you're
already taking.
I don't want to recommendanything.
You are your own advocate.
I am not a medical doctor.
However, I do believe insupplements and Researching them
.
Going to amen clinics, lookonline, read their blogs.
Their blogs are amazing.
(38:55):
You'll learn so much and theygive you great tips, not just
for supplements, but forexercise routine, learning, more
information about it.
So that's another really greatresource.
Speaker 2 (39:08):
Resource yeah, it's funny you mentioned them because
we that was actually the firstClinic that we tried Before I
sent him to manager I hate tosay sent him, because that
honestly sounds like like Ididn't just dump him off before
he went to manager for treatmentbut he, it was an amazing Tool.
(39:32):
He was in such a state that wecouldn't even get him past part
of the the process of diagnosisand you know like you have to
sit still and have some testsdone and things, and so his his
experience there.
He was not in a state to Evenget them, have them, help him,
(39:53):
get ready to understand how totreat him.
That makes sense.
Like he was, like he couldn'teven Get through all the tests,
so he was just at a differentlevel.
That said, I have a familymember who has suffered from
addiction for 10 years now andBeen been clean for almost a
year, but is currently using amen clinic and Like mind-blowing
(40:17):
, helping her really to like,even even though she had been
Clean and sober for like ninemonths, like the addition of
this treatment is Addressing somuch, like so much deeper than
just oh, you know she did yourband aid right yeah and really
(40:38):
like it's, it's so awesome towatch because she's feeling
better she is.
she doesn't even like to not eatclean anymore, Like it makes
her feel bad when she eats bador like she is so aware now of
how she's, you know, feeling andhelping her body.
And it's really cool becauseyou know addicts hurt their body
(41:02):
for a good period of time.
You know like they're in amindset of being okay with
essentially hurting their bodyand then to see them learn how
to want to heal their body andto you know, and and then that
clinic actually really got herlike to a whole other level of
(41:25):
well with some treatments theydid on her.
But even just thesupplementation and the things
that she's putting in her shakesevery day and all these things
and like working to heal herfrom the inside out you know I
love hearing that.
Speaker 1 (41:37):
Yeah, so it ended up helping my friend's daughter as
well.
Speaker 2 (41:42):
So, yeah, so there are some good resources out
there.
Speaker 1 (41:46):
Even though we've talked about there's maybe not
enough or it can be challengingto find the right thing but well
, and one of the reasons theymen clinics we didn't use it is
because they're busy girl Like,when you can call on the phone,
you can talk to someone rightthere and they were so great.
However, they're like okay, intwo months or in three months we
(42:10):
got our first opening and I'msorry I cannot.
I need something right now.
Speaker 2 (42:16):
We had waited a month for the appointment and he had
progressed so much by the timewe got in for the appointment.
It was like it was.
It was useless at that pointfor the like I said like that
wouldn't be the case foreverybody but where he is or
where he was with his journey,we weren't able to utilize that
(42:41):
at that point.
Like he just needed something,so much you know bigger.
Speaker 1 (42:46):
He needed an intervention coming in.
Speaker 2 (42:48):
Yeah, I mean yeah, just kind of.
But, that said, I know theywork with.
It can be something like ADHD,or it's not always just someone
who's in a like crisis situationor a major trauma, Like they
can work with things that are,you know, maybe not as urgent or
(43:14):
like smaller scale, but they'reimportant and they're life
changing when somebody can getthe right help you know, find it
early to before it progresses.
Speaker 1 (43:23):
So how is everything today.
How is he?
How is he?
Speaker 2 (43:30):
doing he is doing amazing, very healthy.
He honestly amazes me.
Like I said, when he first cameback, like it was, it was he
was, he was.
He was still a different personthan what I had known before
(43:50):
Because, too, I mean, he was onmore medications at the time and
that can just, you know, alter,like your energy level and just
they're not the same.
No, it was, he was different.
And so, with time, though, likeI mean, he's just so diligent to
do the work and there were dayswhere he was so tired and did
(44:11):
not want to get out of bed, buthe always did and he just kept.
He was very driven to getbetter for us and to just return
to feeling more normal and morelike himself.
So I will say, as he was ableto, like take a little less
medication and get some of thatout of the system and his energy
(44:33):
levels would come up, and Imean he's utilized you know
testosterone supplements and youknow he all types of different
supplements that that he uses tojust like you know he never
misses his green juice.
Now, yeah, but yeah, I mean helike he's probably as fit or
(45:00):
more fit than he's been in likeyears.
He feels good.
Our marriage is amazing.
And he, I think, if there's like, I think, probably the best
change for us, like we are abeneficiary of the change, but
just for him, like for so manyyears, because he was such a I
(45:24):
mean, part of his diagnosis wasOCD, and so he, it made a lot of
sense to realize like, oh,that's, that's his consistency,
like you know.
But he's, he's been able toenjoy life and actually he still
is.
You know, he's still a routineperson, he's still like
(45:44):
functions well that way I mean,honestly, I do too.
It just was never to an extremedegree, but he, it's so nice to
see him like he still works sohard for our family and he, he,
you know, takes good care of hisbody.
He's like he keeps our yard intip top shape, like he does all
the things and he's veryresponsible.
(46:04):
But it's been so nice to seehim get to like live and enjoy
and to be excited for life andnot just feel like struggle,
struggle, struggle, yes, likeI've got to do XYZ and this, all
you know.
And so, as much as I don't likewhat he had to suffer through
to get to that point, I'm sothankful that he gets to live in
that state of being now and Iknow for sure it's definitely.
(46:31):
I see that he's much moreconfident person too, like just
he's a quieter person but hewould really keep to himself a
lot and I've just seen a reallike.
I think a lot of it comes fromthe, the compassion and the just
wanting to see and care forothers that he encounters, and
(46:52):
so he's definitely I've seen himbe more just connected and
vocal and like reaching out topeople and and that's that's
been a blessing too like that Iwould have never known could
come from, like what we wentthrough.
Speaker 1 (47:10):
But yeah, so yeah, it makes all of you just see how
great you you are together andthen how easily it can be taken
away and it makes you sograteful that you got that back.
Speaker 2 (47:25):
Absolutely, and it really just as a as a wife like
which I think this ispotentially a maybe a chronic
problem in America for women toI would never suggest that in a
marriage you don't haveexpectation of each other.
(47:45):
Obviously you do and you don'tstay in hurtful, toxic
situations by any means.
But that said it's, it's easyin this age to be a woman who
just wants a husband to justprovide whatever everybody else
has and to just it's almost likethey're your little workhorse,
(48:06):
you know, it's like just love methe right way and provide all
the things I want and take us onthese drips and do this and do
that.
And it's easy to to get in thatmode of just expectation of
this person as opposed to justreally loving that person, and
no matter what period, not forwhat they can give you or
(48:28):
provide for you and andconsequently, like as as our
relationship has healed in thatway and we've both.
We've both been able to seeeach other better.
He certainly loves me in a waythat he didn't before and is
very.
When you go through hard thingslike that, you realize that you
really you love each other in adeeper way than just a gift, a
(48:54):
gift that someone can buy youor you know, like I've told him
and I've told other people, whenI said my vows for better, for
worse, I mean, if we're allbeing honest when we're standing
there, we're thinking not tooworse.
Speaker 1 (49:08):
Basically for better.
You know, like when worsehappens.
Speaker 2 (49:13):
I'm not gonna lie.
I was like Did I mean that?
Like can I, can I really behere for the worst?
Can I do it?
And the answer is yes, I canand I did, but I Not without
question and not without going.
This.
This wasn't what I wanted, god,this wasn't what I planned.
(49:35):
Like this, all of a sudden,everything that was maybe
annoying to me about him, I waslike I just want him back.
I just want this person back.
Like when you almost losesomeone, you quit having so much
expectation of what you wishthey would be and you appreciate
them for the things that driveyou crazy.
(49:57):
Yeah right, it's like you knowwhat you know and most of the
time the things that drive mecrazy, or all they stem from the
same thing that I Love the mostyou know, I love the, the
consistency and the safety andthe security the most, yeah, but
also sometimes I'm like, can wenot be on the schedule?
(50:17):
Because I'm a spontaneousperson and you know, so I.
Think you just have to learn tolike.
You can't love it on one handand hate it on the other.
You just got to love the personfor who they are and how they
are and learn to work together.
Speaker 1 (50:32):
And Anyway, I just think that for us it was like we
both realized we had more of atreasure in each other than we
ever realized before, becauseyeah, well, I, I believe it's
because of who you are, Becauseyou know there are a lot of
people that have been in thatsame situation and they leave
(50:55):
because there's no hope andmaybe there's a lack of they,
and you use.
You had hope in the Lord, youhad faith that it was gonna work
out, because it wasn't lookinggood.
No, and you know, without theright help, people stay in that
mindset for the rest of theirlife.
Yeah, unfortunately, and withhope and your perseverance, I
(51:20):
mean that's why, and God renewedit, renewed the marriage, all
of it.
I'm so happy.
It's amazing.
I'm so proud of you and him andthe courage To be able to speak
out.
And you have your own thingeven before all of this.
Live well by Kerry Mm-hmm.
(51:40):
And you are a health advocate,yogi, meditation girl, like all
the things.
Speaker 2 (51:47):
It's really like again there's.
There's never coincidences.
I think it's so cool how Godjust works and he works in all
these little details.
But it's funny you mentionedthat because today is actually
kind of an official launch dayof Me becoming a hundred percent
a health coach and like full onLaunching my business and no,
(52:13):
no other side gigs.
This is it.
Speaker 1 (52:15):
This is yeah, this is my, because Kerry is very
talented and she's good at a lotof things.
Her and I've always she's aninstructor, I'm an instructor.
She's always taught classes.
She's always one-on-one trainedpeople me too so we've always
had each other to talk andcourage, cry, complain, whatever
(52:36):
we need to do.
Yeah, and, and it's been ajourney and this is just what I
expect of you to do.
So, if you're looking for ahealth coach, yeah, is your
website.
Your website iswwwlivewellbykarycom.
Yep, so it's live, live.
I Vee by, live well, live well.
(52:57):
You did, you say it live wellby b?
Speaker 2 (53:02):
y kary k?
Speaker 1 (53:03):
e r I dot com sweet so yeah so when I call you and
book your services, what do youoffer?
Speaker 2 (53:11):
so I kind of arrange Primarily If somebody wants to
work one-on-one with me.
It's gonna be a virtual sessionand it's gonna just honestly
include there's nothing I dothat's about a, a specific diet
or Certainly won't have anythingto do with a fad or or anything
(53:34):
like that, but just Really likecustomize one-on-one coaching
to get to the root of whereveryou're stuck.
If you're stuck in a Root ofwherever you're stuck, if you're
stuck in in Eating habits arejust a certain way that you feel
, then we'll look at that.
If it is the consistency ofbeing able to move your body,
(53:55):
then we're gonna address that.
If it's, if it's both of those,will do both.
But it's Like the big thing forme is like what I'm, I love
nutrition, period and food.
I believe that food can heal thebody and I think it's such an
important piece of our life,both for our health and for
Celebration.
But also like nourishment is somuch more than what we put in
(54:18):
our body and it's eat yourmedicine.
Yeah, it's your whole, it'syour whole life.
Like, yeah, are your financesout of whack?
Are your relationships out ofwhack?
Are you connecting with people?
Are you getting sunshine?
Like Just all the facets.
And and I I've been a person.
I have been all about wellnesssince I can remember it's, it's
(54:39):
ingrained in me, it's how Godmade me I.
I couldn't continue to ignoreit if I wanted to like.
It just is there.
That said, I Haven't had aperfect Health past or like I've
been stuck in places like I amhuman and I have had spaces
where I Felt stuck and that'sjust so normal.
(55:00):
There's not I don't care who isout there on the internet that
looks like they are the perfectpicture of health like Even if
they kind of are now theyprobably weren't always like.
We all are kind of on thesejourneys of like.
Maybe I always do well witheating, but you know, yeah, I
really cannot, for whateverreason, I can't get myself, you
(55:22):
know, to, to move my body, andso that's kind of what I.
I help people dig deep andfigure out what's going on and
and then customize a plan and bethat accountability and that
Source of help.
Sometimes I'm the source of helpand I can and I can find the
answer.
Sometimes it's just I've gotyou know the connections,
(55:45):
whether it's a functionalmedicine doctor or a thyroid
specialist or you know whateverI'm seeing that's going on with
somebody then, then sometimesI'm not the answer.
You know like we work throughwhat we can work through and
then and then I'm going toconnect you to the right
resources.
Yeah and sometimes it's acombination of both.
Speaker 1 (56:02):
So so what's a good email address?
Because they could email youand then maybe you Do.
You do like a 20-minute freeAssessing or consultation.
Yeah, so they can.
Speaker 2 (56:13):
Yeah, that way, you know we can kind of both see if
it's, if it's, a good fit.
And you know some people justyou know I can, I am capable and
and have the expertise to justwrite out an exact diet plan for
you If you just wanted to lose10 pounds, like I can do that
and we could address thatabsolutely, like weight loss can
be part of it, but my goal isto help people make lifelong
(56:38):
change that they can implementconsistently and not just feel
like I'm just doing this diet ofdeprivation and so, yes, I lost
weight, but it's notsustainable and I'm not really
happy you know, so my goal is toMake all those things happen
and make shifts happen so thatPeople can get to where they
(57:00):
feel great and yeah like.
They look great and they feelhappy and joyful and fun and you
know not just like look at me,I have rock-hard abs, but the
rest of my life sucks, you know?
Speaker 1 (57:10):
Yeah and the other thing is In training people for
so many years, like you and Iboth have People think that it's
the answer to happiness,literally, yeah, like they get
so excited because they know intwo months that they're gonna be
feeling good and they're gonnabe down Some way, feel stronger,
and it's true and you are.
(57:30):
But just because you reach thatgoal, that's not.
Speaker 2 (57:34):
I mean, it's a piece of the, it's just a small piece,
yeah, but it's super importantto to look at all those pieces
and that's when I feel likeCertainly there's an education
piece there for me, but there'salso just that is God's gift to
me to use to help other peopleDig deep and figure it out and
(58:00):
get some answers for what'sgoing on.
And and that's not, like I said, disclaimer I'm not a doctor
either and I don't have all theanswers I do.
I mean I just customized aeating plan for my daughter who
suffers from PCOS and it totallyhelps it.
I mean it radically changeslike how she feels and how her
body responds, and so there'sdefinitely things like that I
(58:23):
can do, but it's just not a likehere's a four week diet and
you're gonna have your ultimatebody in four weeks and you know
it's just a bit of a deeper dive.
Speaker 1 (58:34):
So yeah, and you can be that calm and accountability
person Everybody needs that.
Yeah, so I'll put all of thisinformation in the show notes.
Yeah, what is your?
Speaker 2 (58:44):
email is also live Well by Carrie mm-hmm at
gmailcom.
Okay, so, um, yeah, sweet, sopretty simple.
And then my Instagram handle islive well by Carrie, so you can
find me there too, and I'm justwatching some stuff today and
you are.
Speaker 1 (59:08):
It's gonna be amazing .
Yeah, if you do it, I know it.
Speaker 2 (59:11):
Yeah, it's been a journey.
I've started and stopped manytimes, and that's that's another
part of my message.
Is you just got to keep going?
Just keep doing yeah and you'regonna have you know obstacles
and and seasons that Couldpotentially stop you, but yeah,
when you're meant to dosomething, you just got to do it
, that's right, all right.
Speaker 1 (59:33):
Well, I can't wait to have you back on here and we
can talk some hell stuff.
Yeah, there's so much to talkabout.
Speaker 2 (59:40):
You're one of my inspirations and I have people.
That Gives me the courage to dowhat I'm supposed to do.
I love that.
Yeah, thank you for that.
Speaker 1 (59:49):
Well, thank you, you know, you're awesome.
Speaker 2 (59:51):
You've always been like so fit, so yeah, it's
always inspiring.
I love you.
Speaker 1 (59:57):
I mean you can have five kids.
Speaker 2 (59:58):
If someone can have five kids and look like this,
I'm gonna listen but you're alsojoyful, Ah even through your
pain.
Speaker 1 (01:00:06):
Yeah, yeah joy the Lord.
Speaker 2 (01:00:09):
That's what we hang on to sometimes Don't we and I
get to interview Carrie yourhusband's probably sometime in
August, so yeah, yeah, well,thanks so much for coming.
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (01:00:23):
All right.
Well, we'll see you again nexttime.
KG and CF, another Carrie Carrie, except she spells
her name way cooler than me,I've always told her that and I
knew for a long time.
Yeah, and I'm so happy you'rehere me too and you've been
through a lot as well and Ithink it was just all about the
timing that we needed To gethere to this moment.
(00:21):
And we've had dinner you knowcouples dinner.
We've talked through a lot ofthings in the past, and and we
could sit here and talk about awhole bunch of different things,
because I'm like swirling in mymind.
Oh, what about this and whatabout yesterday?
Yeah, all that, but I want togo ahead and just ask the hard
questions Right now.
(00:42):
Dive right in.
I'm ready for so, for themental health Issues that you
all have been through.
You went through this with yourhusband, who is also named
Carrie.
Yes, and.
It was a couple of years ago, ayear and a half ago.
Speaker 2 (01:03):
It started.
It was it started two years ago, in August, so yes, 2021.
Speaker 1 (01:10):
So tell me about the beginning, like I Remember him
saying you were sitting in aparking lot, just had dinner and
everything was fine, yeah weliterally went from one minute
of having a Date that was likejust such a fun date.
Speaker 2 (01:28):
We had connected well , we were having a lot of fun.
He had tried new food that heusually he's not picky, but
necessarily he just like, youknow, like sushi.
But he had been so sweet thatnight and he was like I know you
love sushi, let's go have sushi, you know, and so and he ended
up loving it like it was just agreat night and, honestly,
(01:48):
within like 10 minutes from thatparking lot to the drive home,
like there was just such a shiftin him and he was experiencing
some pretty extreme anxiety andLike his, the things he was
saying, his gestures like was.
Speaker 1 (02:06):
Was he all of a sudden becoming nervous or shaky
?
Like what were the signs?
Speaker 2 (02:11):
Yeah, it was more just like you know.
I mean like I was ready to makeout, you know, I'm like Like we
were just connected, you know,and he just was like I don't
feel right and like just kind ofLike from my point of view just
felt like kind of like a bummer.
I was like what do you mean?
Like?
you were doing like what I don'tunderstand and he was just like
(02:32):
I just feel really anxious andlike he just couldn't shake it
and I had Just being honest from, like my point of view.
So he has a personality that isvery Detailed.
He was, or he still is.
I mean, he's just a veryregimented like you.
Speaker 1 (02:56):
I can know routine.
Speaker 2 (02:57):
I could know what he's doing, where he's at almost
any point of the day, andthat's a thing that I love about
it.
Like it provides so muchsecurity for me, like I love
that part of his personality andit's it Makes him a very safe
person.
But for a free-spirited personlike me, it could also make me a
little Frustrated.
(03:19):
You know, I'm like, you know Iwould want him to, yeah, so in
that moment I felt likesomething like that was
happening.
I had no idea what was you knowabout to come.
So I was a little like Harsh, Iwould say I was just like I
wasn't tender and like hey, likeyou know, I'm sorry, like
(03:41):
what's going on.
I was just kind of like prettylike irritated that.
Speaker 1 (03:46):
This is a fun time and you're just day, you know,
still it spoiling this party.
Speaker 2 (03:49):
Yeah, I was like I don't.
I just don't understand whatjust happened, you know.
So Also, part of the story isthat we had had this.
We if anyone knows us, knowsthat we move around a lot.
We're always up for likeadventures and different things
like that.
So we had had this great ideabecause he works all over Texas
(04:11):
that we would have.
We sold, like our big house andwe had two apartments, one in
the Dallas area, one in Austin,and we were kind of both going
back and forth but it it wascreating a little bit of
separation, more than we hadever had because, there were
days that you know we were notin the same city and because he
drives- a lot pharmaceuticalsales.
(04:35):
So we were in that state and forme it didn't affect me.
I just I stay pretty busy and Iwas, honestly, every time I saw
him I was like twice as excitedto see him because we were
having some of the Distance youknow, for him that part was a
little harder because he, whenhe was away, he wasn't with his
(04:57):
family, so we still have onedaughter living at home.
So I I say all that backgroundto say that in that moment, when
all of that's happening, andthen I Did not handle it well
because I thought it was, youknow, just something else.
And so then the next day he, hewas going back, he was
traveling back to Austin and Iwas staying there, and so that
(05:20):
was kind of the progression whenit really like started to hit
he.
He got home and he was byhimself for several days and he
just began to have like thesevery intrusive thoughts, just
constant.
He couldn't shake it and hekept calling me and he's like I
just I don't know what's goingon, but I can't shake this, you
(05:42):
know, and I'm still like I feellike you're just being like
obsessive, like just let it just.
The major man else you know like, I don't like and and this is
also me being a not what knowingwhat's going on.
You know, in marriage you havehistory with people, so you're
thinking you know it's otherpersonality traits.
(06:04):
And then on top of that we'reall busy, right Like.
I'm thinking like I can't dealwith this right now.
I have clients to help or Ihave, you know, I have things to
do and so I was in a space ofkind of like Just not responding
, well, frustrated frustrated.
Speaker 1 (06:25):
This is never happened before you know,
together a long time.
He's super fit.
Yeah, that's how you met himwas.
He was a tennis pro.
Speaker 2 (06:32):
Yeah, yeah well, I've actually known him my whole
life Really.
He and my sister went to schooltogether and so, like always,
knew him and his family.
But yeah he's always been likeand that's something that we had
common ground on was just,we've always worked out together
like we are.
You know, we both were on thesame page with like how we ate
and like what we wanted to dofor our health, and Something
(06:55):
again I was so thankful for itwas just feeling like this
extreme of you know, I'm like I,I don't understand, like what's
happening to you.
So he just really continues toget worse and is Super
struggling, reaches out to somefriends of ours and Slowly from
(07:19):
that point he just began likeactually isolating himself from
me and would not like answercalls.
And because I was unknowingly,I was like kind of like Adding
fuel to the fire.
Yeah, I was hurting more than Iwas helping and you know that
was my heart.
I just I truly did not know whatwas going right.
(07:41):
So On one hand, he's telling mesome things and on the other
hand, he's really shutting meout and he's like confiding more
and in some close friends whichyou know.
At the time I felt reallyhurtful because, as his wife, I
just wanted him to talk to me.
In retrospect I'm super gratefulfor friends that were there to
(08:02):
listen and Just be there for himwhen I was, you know, not in an
understanding space.
So fast forward about a weekand I'm shipping him like books
and sending him like Cards andlike words, and just like trying
to.
I'm finally realizingsomething's not right.
(08:23):
Still a lot of questions, butI'm like well.
Speaker 1 (08:26):
Maybe you're thinking this is more serious than what
I thought it was absolutely.
Speaker 2 (08:31):
But at the time I still didn't realize the
magnitude of what it was goingto be, or that.
You know my kind, my shift tokind words weren't gonna change
it either.
Because even though I made ashift in how I was Caring for
him and trying to help, and youknow, you know, I mean of course
I was like Try this smoothie,or you know, like, yeah, like
(08:54):
anything I could think of.
Speaker 1 (08:55):
You know it was like sending him books and like I
love you so much in prayer.
Speaker 2 (09:00):
Yes, all the stuff, like I'm like I'm now in the
battle to help him and love himthrough it, even though I still
don't really fully understand.
But I'm like let's figure itout.
And so that was kind of thebeginning of us starting the
process of so many differenttypes of doctors like which the
(09:21):
specialists are really hard toget into quickly, which we
needed some like quick answers.
But China, like findpsychiatrists and your
chronologists, because he, hedoes have thyroid issues, he
doesn't have a thyroid at all,so he's on thyroid medication
and I had a really like gutinstinct that that had a part of
it the whole time.
(09:42):
Yeah, but a lot of the like yes,okay, it was definitely the
culprit of like why it started,but I couldn't get anyone to
listen to me because of thesymptoms he was having.
They were, they were notconnecting the dots, but I just
(10:02):
like, I knew it was like a mom'sinstinct, but but for my spouse
, but you, just you know thefacts because he had changed his
medication right before that.
Speaker 1 (10:11):
Yeah, thyroid is affects your pituitary gland and
your emotions and your hormonesand everything and I had known
so when we first started datinghe had experienced.
Speaker 2 (10:23):
This is when he found out he had thyroid cancer and
he had experienced major socialanxiety, which that was my first
.
I'd never even heard of such athing, you know.
I didn't understand then either,but that once he addressed the
thyroid cancer, had that removedand got on medication that
never came back.
He was, he was okay, and sothat's why I just but I put two
(10:45):
and two together.
I'm like I've seen this beforein a different way a little bit,
but I knew, I Knew that was atleast part of the root of it and
so All time I mean we went tomultiple family physicians er's
Tried really hard to get intoendocrinologist Finally would
(11:06):
get appointments.
There was at one point wefinally had an appointment with
an endocrinologist and he endedup having such an episode that
day that he literally I had totake him to the ER.
So we couldn't get to ourendocrinologist appointment and
it was just this like cycle ofall these Roadblocks and not
feeling heard and people notreally like listening.
Speaker 1 (11:27):
I mean at one point.
Speaker 2 (11:29):
One of the doctors said you know what?
You just need to thinkdifferent thoughts.
And we were like, yeah, yes,this, if it was that easy.
Yeah, that would be amazing,it's surprise it's.
Speaker 1 (11:41):
I can't even think of the word word because
surprising just doesn't do itfor me.
But when Miles was in thehospital, because he was an
adult, they could have releasedhim at any time once he was
cleared physically.
And so we were like you have togive him a psych test.
Yeah, you have to, we have tohave that.
It was so important.
And we finally got it.
(12:02):
And the guy asked him threequestions Did you try to kill
yourself?
Yes, do you want to right now?
No, are you going to?
No, okay, you're clear.
He's not mentally ill.
This is what the hospital saidWow, yeah, yeah, the care.
Speaker 2 (12:21):
And I genuinely don't believe that people, you know,
whatever type of physician or ifthey're in the healthcare realm
, I don't believe that they havebad hearts and they don't want
to help or that they don't care.
I do.
I mean, maybe some don't, but Ibelieve that there's so much
misinformation, not enoughinformation, just really like
(12:48):
such a lack of understandingwhich I get because, like I said
, that's where I was at onepoint, like I just didn't get it
but and you don't even knowwhere to go, there's no, it's
like there's no, like, oh, Imean Google, where do you start
when this happens?
There's no such thing.
It's not like saying, like youknow what do you do when you
break your leg, I mean it's like, yeah, it is all like uncharted
(13:10):
territory and it is, the crazything is it's so time sensitive
and it's so critical to get goodhelp quickly, but it is
impossible.
Like this process went fromAugust to I finally found some
help for him.
(13:30):
October 15th was when we wereable to take him and I don't
know if many days more of hewould have lived, because it
just it was progressivelygetting so much worse.
He was in a state of psychosisand that was induced by how far
off his thyroid was, like it wasway off which was also some
(13:53):
negligence negligence on anotherphysician's part in the way
that they changed his medicationand didn't tell him.
Speaker 1 (14:00):
Mm.
This is, oh, my gosh girl.
I can't.
Speaker 2 (14:04):
So just unpacking all those things, living with a lot
of guilt myself for not knowingwhat to do and for not always
responding right, but it'sincredibly taxing on a caregiver
, like it's exhausting, becauseyou care so much and you wanna
find the answers and you wannado the right thing and you're
(14:27):
also just literally.
There were moments I wasphysically holding him up to
walk, like every second of ourday was about how do we get him
through the next moment, mm-hmm,and I know how you feel.
I know you, yeah, and which isreally wild to me because, to be
honest, during all of that, Itend to have issues sometimes
(14:53):
with overthinking things.
But you and I had not spoken ina while, which was kind of I
mean, we didn't spend a lot oftime together, always because of
just life and living indifferent cities, but we had not
spoken for a while and Iremember starting to think I
think she's mad at me, or youknow the silly girl thoughts
that you have, just that likesomething different is wrong,
(15:14):
and then come to find out you'rewalking your horrific journey
at the same time At the exactsame time we're on this.
Speaker 1 (15:22):
It's unreal.
Speaker 2 (15:22):
The path which I don't believe is you know.
I mean it's not a no, not atall, and thank goodness I don't
even remember how we initiallyreconnected again, but I think
it was through me, ann, probablyyeah, because she's the one
that let me know.
(15:43):
You know what was.
You know to a degree, what wasgoing on.
She's like, oh, she's goingthrough hard season two and I
was like, oh okay, yeah, none ofthis is about me.
I mean you know what you get inyour head like.
You're for real.
It's like people are just goingthrough life.
And stuff is hard and you gotto check on your friends and you
got to just not makeassumptions and you know, and
being in the position that youwere in, it's like you're just
(16:06):
trying to get through your day.
Speaker 1 (16:08):
You're trying to keep your loved one alive and find
answers and you can't thinkabout anything else.
Speaker 2 (16:13):
Yeah, you really can and there's not a lot of outside
support there either.
Like you're walking a lot of italone, even emotionally, Like
people just don't understand andyou're trying to protect your
loved one for their dignity andtheir.
My husband is the mosthardworking kind, Like just I
(16:36):
mean, if there's an example ofjust like, a good kind, normal
human being, he's never raisedhis voice ever in my present
I've never heard him.
He's just consistent and solid,and this like amazing person
and for the world to see him anydifferent.
You know, I never wanted topresent him in this light of
(16:59):
like, oh, your husband's gonecrazy you know, and it's like,
although it was.
Speaker 1 (17:05):
It's almost like look , it can happen to anybody,
anyone.
I mean this man who I've knownjust everything you're saying, I
mean from an outsider lookingin he wins the award for like
the nicest guy in the world,Just so.
Speaker 2 (17:19):
Loves his family and good man, yeah, Diligent in his
health, like diligent in hisfaith, like absolutely not
perfect and he's grown immenselyover the course of our marriage
, but just generally speaking,like he didn't do anything to
get this or deserve this or gothrough this Like to walk
through this.
Speaker 1 (17:39):
Yeah, it was drugs it was out of the blue.
Speaker 2 (17:42):
Just, you know, we truly believe that there's, you
know, absolutely a purposebehind it and that God will use
it.
And you know certainly he wouldabsolutely never want to suffer
through it again.
But he's willing to take whathe's gone through and try to
help and it did, Consequently,actually ended up creating a
(18:08):
better marriage and relationshipfor us, and just we are better
people in general for it,because both of us have so much
more compassion and justPatience Patience.
Gratitude, gratitude foreverything big and everything
small, because you just realizelike life can change quick and
(18:33):
there's a lot harder things than, like you know, sitting through
traffic or something stupidthat could, like you know, make
you go berserk at one point inyour life.
Speaker 1 (18:43):
And you feel so silly for looking back and getting
upset over some really minorthings.
You see things a lotdifferently, for sure.
So, october, what happens?
You finally got them somehow.
Speaker 2 (18:56):
Yeah, so we such a cool God story in that too.
And just of course I was.
You know, I was doing all thethings I could do physically
research, like just trying tofigure everything out, trying to
find doctors, doing all thisstuff but I was simultaneously
praying, begging God, and I canlook back now I have all these
(19:20):
prayer notes in my phone andjust seeing how, like, how
desperate I was and how he didactually come through with
answers for us.
And I didn't always see it inthat very moment, but over time
I was in such a space of like Ieither was afraid.
(19:40):
I just was afraid we were goingto lose him, like that.
It was really so far beyond mycapacity to do anything I could
barely like keep him aliveanymore.
And but we had visited someplaces that I was like.
I also was like I cannot leavehim here, I cannot leave my
(20:00):
loved one here.
It was terrifying to think thatI was going to leave him there
and so, but I also knew Icouldn't continue this.
So I was actually trying.
I found a place in Californiaand I was trying to get him out
there.
So I knew I couldn't get him ona commercial flight and have
(20:20):
him last through three hoursLike there was no way.
So just even through theairport I probably couldn't have
gotten him on the plane becausehe was still like just severe
anxiety and these intrusivethoughts.
He was weak, he was gettinglike frail and just it was just
really bad.
He didn't sleep for almostthree months.
(20:43):
I mean awake constantly, whichwas perpetuating.
Speaker 1 (20:48):
Yeah, and that makes it worse.
Speaker 2 (20:49):
So I'm at this point of desperation.
I think of a friend who I knewhad his pilot's license and I'm
like I'm going to call him andsee if he can get a hold of the
plane and get us out there.
So, oddly enough, I call himand he happens to work in the
(21:10):
same building with a lady who isliterally all over or over all
of the state of Texas mentalhealth facilities Like she.
I can't even describe exactlywhat her job is, but she knows
in detail, like what they're allabout and like knows who runs
them, like what you know?
So she, he connects me to her.
(21:32):
She buried graciously at 8 pmat night, not during her working
hours.
Like she calls me and walks methrough all this and she's like,
do not get him to California.
Like I know where you need totake him and it was, it wasn't
covered by insurance, so also bythe grace of God, like we were
(21:52):
able to pay for it.
And that's something that's onmy heart a lot, because not
everybody can, but not there's alot of people with the same
need and not everyone can accessthat kind of quality care.
And I know that it saved hislife and it was, you know, a
full team of seven people, likea social worker, a psychiatrist,
(22:14):
you know, just like a nursepractitioner, like just a whole
team and this was a manager inHouston and I can't speak highly
enough and there you know, forour experience it was amazing
(22:35):
and I felt, I mean the minute hewent in, the very first night,
he was prayed over and loved onand it wasn't even just, like
you know, the expertise of thephysicians, it was also just the
people there and their heartand the way that they cared for
him and I finally felt like hewas safe.
Speaker 1 (22:56):
You know I've heard a lot of great things about that
place.
Speaker 2 (23:01):
Yeah, no, it was amazing.
And to finally feel like Did ithelp?
You have help, support and thatthere's actually hope that
somebody's actually really goingto look at what's going on and
help you figure it out and helpnot just and I am not against
using medication as needed or aspart of the plan or a tool,
(23:22):
like I'm not and we've had to doit but I refuse to just like
hand over this once healthy,thriving man and be like just
drug him up so he's, you know,still like not coherent but he's
not ready to kill himself.
You know, I knew there had tobe better and deeper answers and
(23:47):
I knew I had exhausted all theresources I had and I did.
I felt like I was out of spacewhere I couldn't even keep him
safe anymore.
So to just feel like you couldsafely hand someone over to
people that were not going tojust dismiss him as a number and
(24:09):
shove him in a room and throwout some medicine and be like we
did our job, but they reallycared and they worked with him
and he met friends in there andpeople who have very, very high
level, high functioning people.
Like the stress in this world,you think people their physician
, their professor, theirprofessional athlete they have
(24:31):
it all.
They're hurting too and they'restruggling and they need help
and they need answers.
There's no person too high andthere's no person that's too low
, I guess, or like there's justan immense need for this kind of
help across the board, like asnormal of a person, as you can
(24:54):
think, and as like it doesn'tdiscriminate no, not one ounce.
So that aspect of it was goodtoo, that he I just I realize
now that's such a part of all ofour healing and just general
health is just connection andconnection to the right people
(25:14):
and being able to talk and shareand like be vulnerable and it's
not fun to share with peoplelike the hard things that you're
going through, especially tothat level.
Speaker 1 (25:30):
I'll never forget one time.
It was back in Houston when wewere living and we had a friend,
and it was the frame where youdo the play dates right, and I
had suffered through postpartumdepression five times.
So I knew what it was, I knewhow to write it out, I knew how
(25:51):
to self-care at that point.
And she had come over and Iremember she said something to
me and I decided to open up toher about it and the first thing
she was like I was so shockedat her reaction because it
wasn't.
Oh, I'm so sorry.
You know, I've felt like thatbefore.
I wasn't looking for, you know,this big thing, I was just
(26:15):
letting her know.
Hey, I've been kind of goingthrough this, so if I'm acting,
whatever.
And she just was like you know,I've never been able to
understand people like that.
I've never felt that way.
I don't know what that is.
And you know, I have aconversation with my sister
about this once and she wastelling me that she was feeling
like that.
I told her just snap out of itand she left.
(26:38):
I was like she didn't get it.
You know, I have family membersthat couldn't get out of bed.
That were amazing people.
It's not a choice.
Sometimes we do choose towallow in our own stuff and stay
depressed and go through allthe lists and have a party with
our, you know, feeling sorry forourselves, but we need to be
(27:01):
able to have people to talk to.
And one thing that I'm gladabout all of this discussion I'm
hoping people if there are, ifthere is still a person out
there, because this was like 20,18 years ago we didn't have a
lot of information, so maybeit'll, you know, open someone's
(27:24):
eyes and ears up to maybe not beso insensitive Because for that
person to actually admit it outof their mouth to you, to
everything they had and trust inyou as their friend.
Speaker 2 (27:43):
And to dismiss it just totally invalidates what
they're going through.
They already feel so much shameanyway.
I mean my husband had to workthrough.
I mean, even though it wasnothing he could control, he had
to work through a lot of shameof, like what you know, just not
(28:03):
being able to care for hisfamily and, like you know,
having to get help and being inthat space and being a man,
being provider for his family,that identity that they take on,
yeah.
And that was, you know.
That was, you know, really notthe first experience in our
(28:24):
family with some mental healthissues, but I do.
I can say that, backing up towhen it started, you know,
becoming something.
That was this, this ongoingmessage God was trying to get
through me or to me.
Speaker 1 (28:42):
Through past experiences.
You mean yeah?
Speaker 2 (28:45):
And I've had some friends with you know other
people in my family where I toowas like I don't know.
I mean, I've had hard thingsand I just like you, just keep
going work hard, like just getover it.
You know, like there's, like yousaid, there's a place for that,
there's a place forresponsibility for ourselves and
ownership and what we are, youknow, supposed to do in life.
(29:08):
But there's a big difference ina real illness or suffering,
and we would never in a millionyears tell a diabetic or someone
with cancer or like, suck it up.
Just you know what's yourproblem.
Speaker 1 (29:24):
Yeah, kind of, I've never had that.
Speaker 2 (29:27):
Like why can't you just get over your cancer?
Speaker 1 (29:29):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (29:31):
Like it is.
It is an actual illness.
It is an actual like there aremany different problems going on
.
It's not any one thing, I guess, and everybody experiences like
there are different types ofmental health, I guess.
Speaker 1 (29:48):
In extremities.
Speaker 2 (29:49):
Absolutely so, it's you know.
But sometimes, yeah, it's like Imean, just get over your
chemical balance just orimbalance you know, like that's
just kind of an overarchingattitude for some reason about
mental health, and then theother side of it is just the
Hide it, suppress it, likethere's shame around it.
(30:12):
There, you know, and it's likeI Wouldn't feel shamed to say my
child has diabetes and we couldreally use some prayers and I
really don't know what I'm doingwith this disease to help her.
But you know, if you'll haveany tips or if anybody can help
(30:32):
or if you can lead me in theright direction.
Somebody, please help me.
You know, but whenever it'sRelated to mental health, it is
like you, you can't announce it,you can't ask for help, you
can't I mean Not without somejudgment and.
And a lot of misunderstanding.
So that, like then, my heart isnot even to to judge the people
(30:56):
that feel that way or arejudging.
It's just to create someawareness and some eye-opening
about how you respond to people,like you could even just listen
, even if deep down you don't,still don't understand.
Just listening can be the mostpowerful thing for someone
(31:17):
that's suffering, like Because,like you said, like they've got
all this stuff bottled up andfor them to get to, yeah, just
open up and share can be a hugepart of their healing.
Oh, absolutely, you know so, andthat's a space that I work on
in myself because, you know,having I haven't experienced
(31:42):
extreme mental health issues forin my own body, but I have
witnessed the destruction andthe pain and the hurt and the
suffering and other people verydear to me, and I had to learn
and grow and figure out how tohelp and respond and and so
(32:02):
anyone can like, whereversomebody's at in that journey
like you, you can learn like,you can learn how to do better
and you can learn more about it,even if you don't understand it
now, and I just it reallystarts with just listening and
just Deciding to have a heart ofcompassion instead of a heart
of Judgment.
(32:23):
You know, and yeah yeah, sowhat?
Speaker 1 (32:26):
how long was he in there?
He was in there for seven weeks.
Speaker 2 (32:32):
So, yeah, he got to come home right before
Thanksgiving, which was amazing.
He was definitely Still notlike a hundred percent himself
when he came home, like thejourney continued for his
healing for sure.
He, to this day, I mean hestill has to do, you know.
(32:57):
He knows what he has to doevery day to like Manage, you
know and to to feel good.
Nothing, nothing to the extremeat all of what he felt when he
was in the thick of it.
But there's there's a lot ofgratitude for for the healing
(33:20):
and for getting you know overthe humps.
But there's always a little bitof fear there too for both of
us to ever go back.
You know it's a, so Any littlething that feels off sometimes
can be super scary and and youcan want to, just you know.
Speaker 1 (33:38):
Go right back there where you are emotionally.
It's so fresh.
Speaker 2 (33:41):
Yeah, it's pretty, it's, it's an actual trauma.
I mean, it's a trauma for sure,and your body doesn't know the
difference in in.
It happened two years ago toyou.
Think it's about to happenagain right now.
Yeah and it feels the same andit feels terrifying in different
ways for for both of you.
But yeah, I mean the themanager clinic helped stabilize
(34:10):
him, helped you know a protocol,like he did.
I always forget the name ofthese treatments.
He also did some.
They're Brain stimulation, Ifeel like.
It's like EMR.
I want to say a DM EMDR.
Is that the tapping one or noEMDR is?
Speaker 1 (34:30):
the one where they take you.
Aaron does this, she's atherapist.
You have to be a therapist, yes,to be able to do that, and they
wouldn't do it with miles,because he was in psychosis, but
once he was out of psychosis,they take you through it and
it's supposed to be just a gamechanger.
She lost her baby by drowning.
(34:51):
Well, when the baby was 18months old, this therapist and
EMDR saved her Aaron's life yeah, by being able to move on and
move past it, and so now she's atherapist and actually helps
people with that.
That's amazing.
Is that what you did, or I?
Speaker 2 (35:09):
did I think I think so it.
I know that it was.
They had like a cap on hisskull and had like these.
It only gets to like the graymatter, I believe, like it
doesn't the stem the brainstimulation.
I think it is the EDMR, becauseof the.
(35:30):
The initials that are coming tomy mind are too close to that
for it to be.
I don't feel like somethingdifferent.
But anyway, he that was part ofhis treatment protocol.
Of course they were able tofind some medication to help
like Stabilize his thoughts andlike work, work with that and
(35:52):
he's been able to wean down toreally low dosage of that.
It's not you know, which isamazing, like he had to use what
he had to use initially but hewas able to to wean down off of
that his.
We stay very on top of histhyroid now and Really only use
very trusted Physicians andresources for that, because it
(36:16):
it can be.
I don't.
I don't know if people realizehow much a thyroid can really
like Wreck your body or makeyour body feel amazing, like
it's yeah, it's like the centralcontrol system in the brain so
People will kind of look at mefunny when I would even say like
that that was part of the thingyou know, and I was like no,
it's, it's very powerful and soHaving that's just another thing
(36:43):
I would encourage if peoplejust said Get labs, like if you
feel off and you know in any way, like just don't hesitate to
get labs done and really seeksomebody that will look at
what's going on, cuz even my mom.
Speaker 1 (36:58):
She's, she's, has a hypothyroidism, and that was one
of the reasons why she was inbed for six months.
She didn't know, and part ofhypothyroidism is depression and
so it does.
Speaker 2 (37:11):
It's all connected and people can think oh, I'm
just being lazy, or I'm just youknow, you know I just why am?
I depressed yeah, everything'sgreat, you know, physically
cannot function in the way thatyou're meant to, or feel the way
that you want to feel, if thosesystems are not intact.
And so I, I just the idea, orif you're depressed or something
(37:34):
.
There's, there's so manysystems in your body that can
contribute to all of that.
And can you know, like you knowall this with even just like
what you're eating and your guthealth, and like there's,
there's just so many things youcan help, absolutely enzymes.
Speaker 1 (37:48):
Have you heard of the amen clinics?
Yes, yeah, and so someone hadtold me about that a friend.
She took her daughter there.
It was great.
It's really expensive.
They do the brain scans.
They can tell you exactly ifyou have the money in the time,
yeah, I would recommend going todo that.
It's an.
They have debt.
They're in Dallas, chicago, la,new York and maybe one other
(38:11):
place and and so they havesupplements and that's where we
tried Probiotics for the brain.
There's specific probiotics thatare made for your brain and for
other things you know, likeyour gut or whatever, and so we
did a lot of that.
Lions, main mushrooms Amazing.
(38:35):
I would recommend going to yourdoctor and you know what you're
already taking.
I don't want to recommendanything.
You are your own advocate.
I am not a medical doctor.
However, I do believe insupplements and Researching them
.
Going to amen clinics, lookonline, read their blogs.
Their blogs are amazing.
(38:55):
You'll learn so much and theygive you great tips, not just
for supplements, but forexercise routine, learning, more
information about it.
So that's another really greatresource.
Speaker 2 (39:08):
Resource yeah, it's funny you mentioned them because
we that was actually the firstClinic that we tried Before I
sent him to manager I hate tosay sent him, because that
honestly sounds like like Ididn't just dump him off before
he went to manager for treatmentbut he, it was an amazing Tool.
(39:32):
He was in such a state that wecouldn't even get him past part
of the the process of diagnosisand you know like you have to
sit still and have some testsdone and things, and so his his
experience there.
He was not in a state to Evenget them, have them, help him,
(39:53):
get ready to understand how totreat him.
That makes sense.
Like he was, like he couldn'teven Get through all the tests,
so he was just at a differentlevel.
That said, I have a familymember who has suffered from
addiction for 10 years now andBeen been clean for almost a
year, but is currently using amen clinic and Like mind-blowing
(40:17):
, helping her really to like,even even though she had been
Clean and sober for like ninemonths, like the addition of
this treatment is Addressing somuch, like so much deeper than
just oh, you know she did yourband aid right yeah and really
(40:38):
like it's, it's so awesome towatch because she's feeling
better she is.
she doesn't even like to not eatclean anymore, Like it makes
her feel bad when she eats bador like she is so aware now of
how she's, you know, feeling andhelping her body.
And it's really cool becauseyou know addicts hurt their body
(41:02):
for a good period of time.
You know like they're in amindset of being okay with
essentially hurting their bodyand then to see them learn how
to want to heal their body andto you know, and and then that
clinic actually really got herlike to a whole other level of
(41:25):
well with some treatments theydid on her.
But even just thesupplementation and the things
that she's putting in her shakesevery day and all these things
and like working to heal herfrom the inside out you know I
love hearing that.
Speaker 1 (41:37):
Yeah, so it ended up helping my friend's daughter as
well.
Speaker 2 (41:42):
So, yeah, so there are some good resources out
there.
Speaker 1 (41:46):
Even though we've talked about there's maybe not
enough or it can be challengingto find the right thing but well
, and one of the reasons theymen clinics we didn't use it is
because they're busy girl Like,when you can call on the phone,
you can talk to someone rightthere and they were so great.
However, they're like okay, intwo months or in three months we
(42:10):
got our first opening and I'msorry I cannot.
I need something right now.
Speaker 2 (42:16):
We had waited a month for the appointment and he had
progressed so much by the timewe got in for the appointment.
It was like it was.
It was useless at that pointfor the like I said like that
wouldn't be the case foreverybody but where he is or
where he was with his journey,we weren't able to utilize that
(42:41):
at that point.
Like he just needed something,so much you know bigger.
Speaker 1 (42:46):
He needed an intervention coming in.
Speaker 2 (42:48):
Yeah, I mean yeah, just kind of.
But, that said, I know theywork with.
It can be something like ADHD,or it's not always just someone
who's in a like crisis situationor a major trauma, Like they
can work with things that are,you know, maybe not as urgent or
(43:14):
like smaller scale, but they'reimportant and they're life
changing when somebody can getthe right help you know, find it
early to before it progresses.
Speaker 1 (43:23):
So how is everything today.
How is he?
How is he?
Speaker 2 (43:30):
doing he is doing amazing, very healthy.
He honestly amazes me.
Like I said, when he first cameback, like it was, it was he
was, he was.
He was still a different personthan what I had known before
(43:50):
Because, too, I mean, he was onmore medications at the time and
that can just, you know, alter,like your energy level and just
they're not the same.
No, it was, he was different.
And so, with time, though, likeI mean, he's just so diligent to
do the work and there were dayswhere he was so tired and did
(44:11):
not want to get out of bed, buthe always did and he just kept.
He was very driven to getbetter for us and to just return
to feeling more normal and morelike himself.
So I will say, as he was ableto, like take a little less
medication and get some of thatout of the system and his energy
(44:33):
levels would come up, and Imean he's utilized you know
testosterone supplements and youknow he all types of different
supplements that that he uses tojust like you know he never
misses his green juice.
Now, yeah, but yeah, I mean helike he's probably as fit or
(45:00):
more fit than he's been in likeyears.
He feels good.
Our marriage is amazing.
And he, I think, if there's like, I think, probably the best
change for us, like we are abeneficiary of the change, but
just for him, like for so manyyears, because he was such a I
(45:24):
mean, part of his diagnosis wasOCD, and so he, it made a lot of
sense to realize like, oh,that's, that's his consistency,
like you know.
But he's, he's been able toenjoy life and actually he still
is.
You know, he's still a routineperson, he's still like
(45:44):
functions well that way I mean,honestly, I do too.
It just was never to an extremedegree, but he, it's so nice to
see him like he still works sohard for our family and he, he,
you know, takes good care of hisbody.
He's like he keeps our yard intip top shape, like he does all
the things and he's veryresponsible.
(46:04):
But it's been so nice to seehim get to like live and enjoy
and to be excited for life andnot just feel like struggle,
struggle, struggle, yes, likeI've got to do XYZ and this, all
you know.
And so, as much as I don't likewhat he had to suffer through
to get to that point, I'm sothankful that he gets to live in
that state of being now and Iknow for sure it's definitely.
(46:31):
I see that he's much moreconfident person too, like just
he's a quieter person but hewould really keep to himself a
lot and I've just seen a reallike.
I think a lot of it comes fromthe, the compassion and the just
wanting to see and care forothers that he encounters, and
(46:52):
so he's definitely I've seen himbe more just connected and
vocal and like reaching out topeople and and that's that's
been a blessing too like that Iwould have never known could
come from, like what we wentthrough.
Speaker 1 (47:10):
But yeah, so yeah, it makes all of you just see how
great you you are together andthen how easily it can be taken
away and it makes you sograteful that you got that back.
Speaker 2 (47:25):
Absolutely, and it really just as a as a wife like
which I think this ispotentially a maybe a chronic
problem in America for women toI would never suggest that in a
marriage you don't haveexpectation of each other.
(47:45):
Obviously you do and you don'tstay in hurtful, toxic
situations by any means.
But that said it's, it's easyin this age to be a woman who
just wants a husband to justprovide whatever everybody else
has and to just it's almost likethey're your little workhorse,
(48:06):
you know, it's like just love methe right way and provide all
the things I want and take us onthese drips and do this and do
that.
And it's easy to to get in thatmode of just expectation of
this person as opposed to justreally loving that person, and
no matter what period, not forwhat they can give you or
(48:28):
provide for you and andconsequently, like as as our
relationship has healed in thatway and we've both.
We've both been able to seeeach other better.
He certainly loves me in a waythat he didn't before and is
very.
When you go through hard thingslike that, you realize that you
really you love each other in adeeper way than just a gift, a
(48:54):
gift that someone can buy youor you know, like I've told him
and I've told other people, whenI said my vows for better, for
worse, I mean, if we're allbeing honest when we're standing
there, we're thinking not tooworse.
Speaker 1 (49:08):
Basically for better.
You know, like when worsehappens.
Speaker 2 (49:13):
I'm not gonna lie.
I was like Did I mean that?
Like can I, can I really behere for the worst?
Can I do it?
And the answer is yes, I canand I did, but I Not without
question and not without going.
This.
This wasn't what I wanted, god,this wasn't what I planned.
(49:35):
Like this, all of a sudden,everything that was maybe
annoying to me about him, I waslike I just want him back.
I just want this person back.
Like when you almost losesomeone, you quit having so much
expectation of what you wishthey would be and you appreciate
them for the things that driveyou crazy.
(49:57):
Yeah right, it's like you knowwhat you know and most of the
time the things that drive mecrazy, or all they stem from the
same thing that I Love the mostyou know, I love the, the
consistency and the safety andthe security the most, yeah, but
also sometimes I'm like, can wenot be on the schedule?
(50:17):
Because I'm a spontaneousperson and you know, so I.
Think you just have to learn tolike.
You can't love it on one handand hate it on the other.
You just got to love the personfor who they are and how they
are and learn to work together.
Speaker 1 (50:32):
And Anyway, I just think that for us it was like we
both realized we had more of atreasure in each other than we
ever realized before, becauseyeah, well, I, I believe it's
because of who you are, Becauseyou know there are a lot of
people that have been in thatsame situation and they leave
(50:55):
because there's no hope andmaybe there's a lack of they,
and you use.
You had hope in the Lord, youhad faith that it was gonna work
out, because it wasn't lookinggood.
No, and you know, without theright help, people stay in that
mindset for the rest of theirlife.
Yeah, unfortunately, and withhope and your perseverance, I
(51:20):
mean that's why, and God renewedit, renewed the marriage, all
of it.
I'm so happy.
It's amazing.
I'm so proud of you and him andthe courage To be able to speak
out.
And you have your own thingeven before all of this.
Live well by Kerry Mm-hmm.
(51:40):
And you are a health advocate,yogi, meditation girl, like all
the things.
Speaker 2 (51:47):
It's really like again there's.
There's never coincidences.
I think it's so cool how Godjust works and he works in all
these little details.
But it's funny you mentionedthat because today is actually
kind of an official launch dayof Me becoming a hundred percent
a health coach and like full onLaunching my business and no,
(52:13):
no other side gigs.
This is it.
Speaker 1 (52:15):
This is yeah, this is my, because Kerry is very
talented and she's good at a lotof things.
Her and I've always she's aninstructor, I'm an instructor.
She's always taught classes.
She's always one-on-one trainedpeople me too so we've always
had each other to talk andcourage, cry, complain, whatever
(52:36):
we need to do.
Yeah, and, and it's been ajourney and this is just what I
expect of you to do.
So, if you're looking for ahealth coach, yeah, is your
website.
Your website iswwwlivewellbykarycom.
Yep, so it's live, live.
I Vee by, live well, live well.
(52:57):
You did, you say it live wellby b?
Speaker 2 (53:02):
y kary k?
Speaker 1 (53:03):
e r I dot com sweet so yeah so when I call you and
book your services, what do youoffer?
Speaker 2 (53:11):
so I kind of arrange Primarily If somebody wants to
work one-on-one with me.
It's gonna be a virtual sessionand it's gonna just honestly
include there's nothing I dothat's about a, a specific diet
or Certainly won't have anythingto do with a fad or or anything
(53:34):
like that, but just Really likecustomize one-on-one coaching
to get to the root of whereveryou're stuck.
If you're stuck in a Root ofwherever you're stuck, if you're
stuck in in Eating habits arejust a certain way that you feel
, then we'll look at that.
If it is the consistency ofbeing able to move your body,
(53:55):
then we're gonna address that.
If it's, if it's both of those,will do both.
But it's Like the big thing forme is like what I'm, I love
nutrition, period and food.
I believe that food can heal thebody and I think it's such an
important piece of our life,both for our health and for
Celebration.
But also like nourishment is somuch more than what we put in
(54:18):
our body and it's eat yourmedicine.
Yeah, it's your whole, it'syour whole life.
Like, yeah, are your financesout of whack?
Are your relationships out ofwhack?
Are you connecting with people?
Are you getting sunshine?
Like Just all the facets.
And and I I've been a person.
I have been all about wellnesssince I can remember it's, it's
(54:39):
ingrained in me, it's how Godmade me I.
I couldn't continue to ignoreit if I wanted to like.
It just is there.
That said, I Haven't had aperfect Health past or like I've
been stuck in places like I amhuman and I have had spaces
where I Felt stuck and that'sjust so normal.
(55:00):
There's not I don't care who isout there on the internet that
looks like they are the perfectpicture of health like Even if
they kind of are now theyprobably weren't always like.
We all are kind of on thesejourneys of like.
Maybe I always do well witheating, but you know, yeah, I
really cannot, for whateverreason, I can't get myself, you
(55:22):
know, to, to move my body, andso that's kind of what I.
I help people dig deep andfigure out what's going on and
and then customize a plan and bethat accountability and that
Source of help.
Sometimes I'm the source of helpand I can and I can find the
answer.
Sometimes it's just I've gotyou know the connections,
(55:45):
whether it's a functionalmedicine doctor or a thyroid
specialist or you know whateverI'm seeing that's going on with
somebody then, then sometimesI'm not the answer.
You know like we work throughwhat we can work through and
then and then I'm going toconnect you to the right
resources.
Yeah and sometimes it's acombination of both.
Speaker 1 (56:02):
So so what's a good email address?
Because they could email youand then maybe you Do.
You do like a 20-minute freeAssessing or consultation.
Yeah, so they can.
Speaker 2 (56:13):
Yeah, that way, you know we can kind of both see if
it's, if it's, a good fit.
And you know some people justyou know I can, I am capable and
and have the expertise to justwrite out an exact diet plan for
you If you just wanted to lose10 pounds, like I can do that
and we could address thatabsolutely, like weight loss can
be part of it, but my goal isto help people make lifelong
(56:38):
change that they can implementconsistently and not just feel
like I'm just doing this diet ofdeprivation and so, yes, I lost
weight, but it's notsustainable and I'm not really
happy you know, so my goal is toMake all those things happen
and make shifts happen so thatPeople can get to where they
(57:00):
feel great and yeah like.
They look great and they feelhappy and joyful and fun and you
know not just like look at me,I have rock-hard abs, but the
rest of my life sucks, you know?
Speaker 1 (57:10):
Yeah and the other thing is In training people for
so many years, like you and Iboth have People think that it's
the answer to happiness,literally, yeah, like they get
so excited because they know intwo months that they're gonna be
feeling good and they're gonnabe down Some way, feel stronger,
and it's true and you are.
(57:30):
But just because you reach thatgoal, that's not.
Speaker 2 (57:34):
I mean, it's a piece of the, it's just a small piece,
yeah, but it's super importantto to look at all those pieces
and that's when I feel likeCertainly there's an education
piece there for me, but there'salso just that is God's gift to
me to use to help other peopleDig deep and figure it out and
(58:00):
get some answers for what'sgoing on.
And and that's not, like I said, disclaimer I'm not a doctor
either and I don't have all theanswers I do.
I mean I just customized aeating plan for my daughter who
suffers from PCOS and it totallyhelps it.
I mean it radically changeslike how she feels and how her
body responds, and so there'sdefinitely things like that I
(58:23):
can do, but it's just not a likehere's a four week diet and
you're gonna have your ultimatebody in four weeks and you know
it's just a bit of a deeper dive.
Speaker 1 (58:34):
So yeah, and you can be that calm and accountability
person Everybody needs that.
Yeah, so I'll put all of thisinformation in the show notes.
Yeah, what is your?
Speaker 2 (58:44):
email is also live Well by Carrie mm-hmm at
gmailcom.
Okay, so, um, yeah, sweet, sopretty simple.
And then my Instagram handle islive well by Carrie, so you can
find me there too, and I'm justwatching some stuff today and
you are.
Speaker 1 (59:08):
It's gonna be amazing .
Yeah, if you do it, I know it.
Speaker 2 (59:11):
Yeah, it's been a journey.
I've started and stopped manytimes, and that's that's another
part of my message.
Is you just got to keep going?
Just keep doing yeah and you'regonna have you know obstacles
and and seasons that Couldpotentially stop you, but yeah,
when you're meant to dosomething, you just got to do it
, that's right, all right.
Speaker 1 (59:33):
Well, I can't wait to have you back on here and we
can talk some hell stuff.
Yeah, there's so much to talkabout.
Speaker 2 (59:40):
You're one of my inspirations and I have people.
That Gives me the courage to dowhat I'm supposed to do.
I love that.
Yeah, thank you for that.
Speaker 1 (59:49):
Well, thank you, you know, you're awesome.
Speaker 2 (59:51):
You've always been like so fit, so yeah, it's
always inspiring.
I love you.
Speaker 1 (59:57):
I mean you can have five kids.
Speaker 2 (59:58):
If someone can have five kids and look like this,
I'm gonna listen but you're alsojoyful, Ah even through your
pain.
Speaker 1 (01:00:06):
Yeah, yeah joy the Lord.
Speaker 2 (01:00:09):
That's what we hang on to sometimes Don't we and I
get to interview Carrie yourhusband's probably sometime in
August, so yeah, yeah, well,thanks so much for coming.
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (01:00:23):
All right.
Well, we'll see you again nexttime.
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