October 14, 2025 • 21 mins
How did you discover BDSM?
My story began with an ancient Roman historian, hunger pangs, a taco craving, and a healthy dose of naivety. Then came the moment I ran into a professor at what seemed like the wrong place (a porn store) at the wrong time. As if there is ever a good time to see a professor in a porn shop, color me mortified.
Discover how Tacitus, tacos, and fate brought me to the BDSM community in ways I never saw coming. Tune in to hear how it all connects in this BDSM podcast episode and prepare to be surprised by the most unlikely path into D/S.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:01):
Hello everybody, this is Edward and welcome to Chatting with The
Light Keeper. And first of all, I want to
apologize for the delay between episodes.
I know I am normally very prompt.
I had my birthday and then some life happened which put me
behind. So that's why we had the delay.
(00:22):
Anyway, it's a little different perspective today.
The waves are actually, the lakelooks flat out there, but
there's quite a bit of wave noise.
So I wanted to step back a little bit from the water so you
could hear me well. And thus we have the unique
angle with the lighthouse tower right behind me.
So anyway, this episode is goingto be about my origin story.
(00:49):
I know I talked about it in the very first pod, but that was for
some years ago and I doubt many of you have gone back to listen
to it. So I thought we could talk about
how I became me and how I discovered the wonderful world
of BDSM. And amazingly, I have two things
(01:11):
to blame. I have Tacitus and tacos, and I
know that sounds like a very oddcombination.
In fact, you're probably asking yourself, who is Tacitus?
Tacitus was a Roman historian and I'm not sure if he came just
before the birth of the baby Jesus or if he came after.
But I majored in history in college and while I was in
(01:36):
school, my mid major school had a little bit of an issue with
the library. They were building a brand new
one which is absolutely gorgeous, beautiful.
However, at that time, because of the library construction,
what passed as a library was actually in the student center
bowling alley of all places, andvery few books were available.
(02:00):
So to make up for it, the university allowed us to go to
two other schools to use their library.
One was Michigan State and the other was Notre Dame.
And I chose Notre Dame on this Tuesday, and I know it was a
Tuesday because I'd gotten paid and I need to adjust my camera.
(02:21):
I apologize. It was kind of driving me Batty,
being the person that I am, thatthe tower wasn't perfectly
centered. So I think that fixes it.
Anyways, so I chose to go to Notre Dame.
Both were about equidistance from me.
So went to Notre Dame, use theirlibrary.
It's kind of neat to look out ofthe windows and see the football
(02:42):
stadium because the library is where they had the mural that is
known as Touchdown. Touchdown.
Jesus. Anyway, use the library came
back, it was late. I was hungry.
Of course, being a dorm rat thatyear, dining hall was closed.
So I thought I'm going to go outfor Taco Bell because I knew
(03:03):
Taco Bell was open late and I amof an age, which means I'm old.
GPS was not available. I had a crude map of the city.
I was still fairly new there andset out to go to Taco Bell,
which I had been to before. But I got lost this time, and in
my adventure I passed a place called an adult bookstore, and
(03:28):
it was next to a gentlemen's club.
In my mind, this is the level ofnaivete I had at the time, if
that's even a word. I thought adult bookstore meant
they didn't have a children's section and that they probably
sold a lot of foreign magazines and kept driving, kept looking.
(03:51):
And it was sort of like you get lost and you keep going by the
same landmark. And for me, it was that that
adult bookstore that I kept seeing.
So finally, on the 3rd or 4th revolution around this area, I
thought, what the heck, I'm not finding Taco Bell.
Check out the bookstore and while my mind was blown, I mean
(04:13):
it had, you know, sex toys, everything, magazines, books,
you name it. It was just absolutely mind
blowing to me. And when you walked in, kind of
the back left section was dedicated to BDSM.
And I found it and it was like an immediate poll, like, wow,
(04:36):
this is really interesting. I've seen nothing like this in
my life. I want to learn more.
And the magazines that were available were not educational
resources. In fact, in the in the school
university town that I was in, Iwould have to say that
dominatrix porn was a big sellerbecause that dominated the
(04:59):
shelves. But I found a book and the book
was called the Story of Oh, and it was sealed in plastic.
So I had no idea what it was really about except what was on
the back cover. And so I bought it and went home
and started reading it. And it was both intoxicating and
(05:20):
repulsive at the same time. I know that might seem kind of
odd for a, a book. And if you hear any weird noises
in the background, Coast Guard station here is apparently doing
some sort of drill this morning.Anyways, so I read the story of
OH, and it was both intoxicatingand revolting all together at
once. But something pulled me.
(05:44):
So two weeks later, on Tuesday, once again when I got paid, it
was back to the adult bookstore for more.
And this time I bought an Anne Rice book.
But I don't believe, and I apologize, many years ago, she
actually used the name Anne Rice.
(06:05):
I believe it was the Sleeping Beauty one.
And also bought a, what they call a, at the time, a Zine,
which is sort of like a magazine.
But it's was more like somebody after work when everyone else
went home, they took some time and used the Xerox copier in
their office to print this off. And it was about the BDSM scene
(06:29):
in Michigan and what was going on.
Club names. There were classifieds in there
that you could respond to. You sent them an envelope with
your letter to the person you were going to write to.
And of course, you know, cash money in the envelope and then
they would forward that on to the person who placed the
(06:53):
advertisement and then they could contact you by snail mail.
And obviously I didn't do any ofthat, but it was interesting to
read the ads and what people were looking for and all sorts
of terminology that people were using.
I had no clue what it meant, butit was intoxicating that you
hear about the clubs and kind ofbrief overviews of what was
(07:14):
going on. It was absolutely amazing.
So on paydays, every other Tuesday, I would make a journey
to the adult bookstore. I, I now at this point could
find both Taco Bell and the adult bookstore easily.
And this continued and about halfway through the semester, I
(07:34):
was in there buying the latest, the latest sort of local Zine.
And in the same section I was, and I had the, you know, I had
my purchase right in my hand. Standing there with, with his
wife was one of my professors. In fact, the professor I was
(07:56):
working on the Tacitus paper for.
And I think it's one of those moments that everyone, it's,
it's a common question, what happens if I run into somebody I
know? Well, here it is.
And I didn't even know what I didn't know.
I just knew this was intoxicating to me.
I really, something pulled me toit.
And here I am holding this clearas day, you know, turned so that
(08:20):
they could see what I had in my hand.
And what do you do? He spoke to me, said hello.
So yeah, I said hello back. We had a brief conversation.
And I just immediately owned up that, you know, I found this
BDSM thing intoxicating and thatI didn't know much about it.
(08:43):
And explained that I look forward to Tuesdays because I
came here, got got something to try and learn more, and then
went to Taco Bell for a late dinner.
And, you know, that was it. They carried on.
I left deeply embarrassed and even more embarrassed that I
just spoke freely rather than sort of watching my tongue,
(09:07):
which is what I would normally have done.
But in that moment, I just spokeand said, hey, here's what I'm
doing here, here's why. And when I went to see the same
professor in office hours because I was really struggling
to find resources on Tacitus of all things, which is amazing
that you couldn't, but I was really struggling.
(09:29):
And he shared some of his own books with me, which of course,
the rule was I had to read them during his office hours because
they were not leaving his office, which was fine, I had no
problem with that. But I think the big reason for
why the books couldn't leave theoffice, looking back, is he
wanted to get to know me becauseafter the semester ended and
(09:55):
after Tacitus, he was working onanother research project.
And although he couldn't pay me,he didn't have a stipend, He
wasn't a, he wasn't tenured yet.He offered me a chance to help
him with the research and to geta credit, you know, research
credit for it in the book. So of course, I jumped at it.
(10:15):
I'm an undergrad and this is something that most grad
students get. And the deal was I would do the
research, some of the research, he would, you know, tell me what
to look up and what not and pullit all together for him.
And since he couldn't pay me Sundays, since I was still a
dorm rat the next semester when the dining halls were closed on
campus, I know it's weird to think that you couldn't get a
(10:36):
meal on a Sunday, but you couldn't.
And they would, you know, provide dinner.
So I thought, hey, that's a fairtrade.
I'd get a decent meal and I get experience.
This is great. And what eventually happened is
that the professor and his wife both kind of, you know, asked me
(11:03):
if I was one night over dinner, asked me if I was still, you
know, researching the, the, the,the adult bookstore thing.
And I said, yes, I was. And I said it was, you know, I
was struggling to find, you know, educational stuff on it.
A lot of it was, you know, sort of Cornish.
And I was really looking to learn.
And there was a moment of silence.
(11:25):
And the wife then spoke and said, well, we are AGS couple.
And I sort of knew what that wasbut didn't know what it was.
So they explained it to me, you know, the dominance submissive,
you know, and how that worked. And if I was open to it, they
would be willing to sort of share their knowledge with me.
(11:48):
And so it started where not onlydid I do research, I also got
research from them. They had a wide collection of
books on it and we would talk about it and they would talk
about what was going on in theirlives and how DS fit for them,
what worked for them, how they did it, and it was fantastic.
(12:10):
Turns out there was even a localcommunity of people in that
particular city that were into media SM and they had, you know,
gatherings once a month for dinner.
And the thing was you had to be brought in and introduced and
then actually interviewed by theby the couple that hosted the
(12:32):
munch, which was for me a very nervous process because I really
wanted to meet more people. And so went and did that and it
was great. I started meeting people, having
conversations, getting to know other people.
And that's how it all grew for me.
And through this connection, I met a young lady who was also
(12:58):
into this and also a student at the same university.
And we started dating. And I guess you could call it
ADS relationship, probably one with a whole lot of training
wheels on it for both of us because we were both brand new,
both naive, inexperienced. So it was a lot of learning and
(13:22):
learning through trial and error, which I really don't
recommend, especially with all the resources out there that we
have today. But it was a great experience
and that is how I came to discover everything and get
involved. Then came the big change in
life, graduation. The girl I was dating, she moved
(13:47):
WI, moved a little bit east. And back then you actually
couldn't Skype, you know, of course there was no Internet and
you actually had to pay for thisthing called long distance,
which been if you called somebody probably 30 miles away,
it was at least $0.10 a minute if you got a really good deal,
which got really expensive really fast.
(14:07):
And our schedules clashed. And it just the distance killed
that relationship. And after it died, I thought
that this whole BDSM thing was acollege phase, right?
I had friends getting married, starting families, and the
corporate world was, you know, sort of preaching that I should
(14:28):
be doing the same. So I put it away, put it on a
shelf and tried to be the good vanilla person.
Putting my head down, going to work, working hard, dating.
Had a couple of 1, dated a couple of wonderful, wonderful
people, and every time these relationships sort of sputtered
(14:49):
out because I felt that I was bored and I couldn't figure it
out. They were both very different.
We shared a lot of the same interest.
So, you know, outside of, you know, the standard dating thing,
we did a lot of things together that we had in common, but there
was something missing. And internally, I could only
(15:09):
chalk it up to feeling bored. And so after both of those
ended, I had to have that conversation with myself.
OK, it's not them, it's me. What is it about me that is
feeling unfulfilled or unhappy here?
And what came to light for me asI unpacked a whole lot of
(15:34):
baggage in my head was that it was PDSM that was missing.
And at that point in time, the Internet had come back or had
come into being. So I started poking around on
the Internet and of course therewas a lot of information.
(15:55):
It was very easy to find, easierto find munches in person,
gatherings, information, chat rooms, discussions, you name it,
it was there. And so I came back into the
world of BDSM and started makingconnections and friendships via
the Internet, which was absolutely fantastic.
(16:19):
Much better than the old days which I never fully experienced
of doing the the personal ad type thing with a self addressed
stamped envelope and waiting andhoping the snail mail would come
with something. So it was fantastic.
And then I don't know how long ago it's been, It's probably
(16:40):
been at least at least a decade.I was looking for a creative
outlet for myself. And so I started writing about
the lifestyle and my experiences.
And so that's how I started doing a little bit of sort of, I
guess we could call it microblogging to start with and
went from there and it grew to what it is now.
(17:03):
And my socials that I do in thispodcast or video cast or vlog,
whatever the correct terminologyfor all of it is, is not
something I am doing to grow followers.
Which granted, I, I do secretly will admit that it's wonderful
when somebody does follow me. It's kind of like, oh, they like
(17:24):
what I'm having to say. That's awesome.
But it's all really for me, it'screativity and getting a
creative out, getting my creativity out.
I can't do music, I Can't Sing, I can't play an instrument, I
can't draw, I can't paint, but Ican write.
And so it's a really great creativity outlet for me to, to
(17:47):
do this. So that is that is why I do the
content that I do is for my own,my own creativity and my own, my
own release of all that pent up energy, which has been actually
fantastic and and very therapeutic, as well as
hopefully sharing and imparting some of the experiences that
I've had along the way. So I just kind of ended here
(18:12):
with a couple of questions that I get.
Do I am I still in contact with with I guess my lifestyle
mentors and unfortunately I am not Life happens and they've
actually since both passed away,unfortunately, but they did
(18:33):
continue to live DS right up until they ended up passing
away. So the big lesson that I took
away from that is that it's our choice whether we choose to age
out of the lifestyle or if we just adjust the lifestyle for
our ages. And it's very amazing to see
that we can just make some adjustments and not age out of
(18:56):
the lifestyle. So that is kind of the common
question. And another question that some
people ask me is did you know any sort of play type things
happen with me and my mentors? And the answer is not play,
perhaps as you would call it, but yes, educational things like
(19:20):
learning how to do simple things, learning how to, you
know, use, use a flogger, use a paddle, all of those things.
And unfortunately for me at the time, they were very old school.
So you had to learn what they would call from the bottom up,
which meant before you use the paddle on someone else, someone
(19:41):
used the paddle on you, which definitely was an eye opening
experience. Not something that I enjoyed,
but it is something that I thinkmany, many more dominance should
consider partaking in. Obviously it won't feel the same
way as it would feel to a submissive.
(20:02):
It gives you some idea of what it's like and I think that is
important, especially in this day and age.
Where every bit of information we tend to get is dedicated to
our role. There's great information out
there, you know, to learn how touse that paddle, but it's from
(20:24):
either what it should feel like for the submissive or how the
dominant should do it. And actually experiencing it
from the other side I think is very, very beneficial no matter
what your role or even if you'reexploring and you haven't picked
a role yet. So, yeah, that is sort of the
couple of the key, key takeawaysthat I had.
(20:44):
And it was a great experience. And if you do have the chance to
get to know somebody who is willing to, you know, be an
educational resource with you, be a mentor, take full advantage
of that. And if you want to be a mentor
or be mentored, I guess is what I'm looking for, be a mentee.
Don't just randomly approach somebody that you perhaps admire
(21:07):
online and say, will you mentor me?
Get to know them a little bit asa person because there does need
to be, you know, you have to getalong with the person that is
going to be a mentor. It doesn't mean you have to be
best friends or buddies and hangout and watch football on the
weekends, but you do have to have some sort of connection
(21:28):
beyond just the interest, the same interest.
So that is my advice. That is my origin story.
I hope everyone has a fabulous week and I look forward to
seeing you again in two weeks. There should not hopefully be
any delays before the next episode.
So thank you for tuning in. Once again, I apologize for the
(21:50):
delay. Have a great next two weeks and
I will chat with you soon.
Hello everybody, this is Edward and welcome to Chatting with The
Light Keeper. And first of all, I want to
apologize for the delay between episodes.
I know I am normally very prompt.
I had my birthday and then some life happened which put me
behind. So that's why we had the delay.
(00:22):
Anyway, it's a little different perspective today.
The waves are actually, the lakelooks flat out there, but
there's quite a bit of wave noise.
So I wanted to step back a little bit from the water so you
could hear me well. And thus we have the unique
angle with the lighthouse tower right behind me.
So anyway, this episode is goingto be about my origin story.
(00:49):
I know I talked about it in the very first pod, but that was for
some years ago and I doubt many of you have gone back to listen
to it. So I thought we could talk about
how I became me and how I discovered the wonderful world
of BDSM. And amazingly, I have two things
(01:11):
to blame. I have Tacitus and tacos, and I
know that sounds like a very oddcombination.
In fact, you're probably asking yourself, who is Tacitus?
Tacitus was a Roman historian and I'm not sure if he came just
before the birth of the baby Jesus or if he came after.
But I majored in history in college and while I was in
(01:36):
school, my mid major school had a little bit of an issue with
the library. They were building a brand new
one which is absolutely gorgeous, beautiful.
However, at that time, because of the library construction,
what passed as a library was actually in the student center
bowling alley of all places, andvery few books were available.
(02:00):
So to make up for it, the university allowed us to go to
two other schools to use their library.
One was Michigan State and the other was Notre Dame.
And I chose Notre Dame on this Tuesday, and I know it was a
Tuesday because I'd gotten paid and I need to adjust my camera.
(02:21):
I apologize. It was kind of driving me Batty,
being the person that I am, thatthe tower wasn't perfectly
centered. So I think that fixes it.
Anyways, so I chose to go to Notre Dame.
Both were about equidistance from me.
So went to Notre Dame, use theirlibrary.
It's kind of neat to look out ofthe windows and see the football
(02:42):
stadium because the library is where they had the mural that is
known as Touchdown. Touchdown.
Jesus. Anyway, use the library came
back, it was late. I was hungry.
Of course, being a dorm rat thatyear, dining hall was closed.
So I thought I'm going to go outfor Taco Bell because I knew
(03:03):
Taco Bell was open late and I amof an age, which means I'm old.
GPS was not available. I had a crude map of the city.
I was still fairly new there andset out to go to Taco Bell,
which I had been to before. But I got lost this time, and in
my adventure I passed a place called an adult bookstore, and
(03:28):
it was next to a gentlemen's club.
In my mind, this is the level ofnaivete I had at the time, if
that's even a word. I thought adult bookstore meant
they didn't have a children's section and that they probably
sold a lot of foreign magazines and kept driving, kept looking.
(03:51):
And it was sort of like you get lost and you keep going by the
same landmark. And for me, it was that that
adult bookstore that I kept seeing.
So finally, on the 3rd or 4th revolution around this area, I
thought, what the heck, I'm not finding Taco Bell.
Check out the bookstore and while my mind was blown, I mean
(04:13):
it had, you know, sex toys, everything, magazines, books,
you name it. It was just absolutely mind
blowing to me. And when you walked in, kind of
the back left section was dedicated to BDSM.
And I found it and it was like an immediate poll, like, wow,
(04:36):
this is really interesting. I've seen nothing like this in
my life. I want to learn more.
And the magazines that were available were not educational
resources. In fact, in the in the school
university town that I was in, Iwould have to say that
dominatrix porn was a big sellerbecause that dominated the
(04:59):
shelves. But I found a book and the book
was called the Story of Oh, and it was sealed in plastic.
So I had no idea what it was really about except what was on
the back cover. And so I bought it and went home
and started reading it. And it was both intoxicating and
(05:20):
repulsive at the same time. I know that might seem kind of
odd for a, a book. And if you hear any weird noises
in the background, Coast Guard station here is apparently doing
some sort of drill this morning.Anyways, so I read the story of
OH, and it was both intoxicatingand revolting all together at
once. But something pulled me.
(05:44):
So two weeks later, on Tuesday, once again when I got paid, it
was back to the adult bookstore for more.
And this time I bought an Anne Rice book.
But I don't believe, and I apologize, many years ago, she
actually used the name Anne Rice.
(06:05):
I believe it was the Sleeping Beauty one.
And also bought a, what they call a, at the time, a Zine,
which is sort of like a magazine.
But it's was more like somebody after work when everyone else
went home, they took some time and used the Xerox copier in
their office to print this off. And it was about the BDSM scene
(06:29):
in Michigan and what was going on.
Club names. There were classifieds in there
that you could respond to. You sent them an envelope with
your letter to the person you were going to write to.
And of course, you know, cash money in the envelope and then
they would forward that on to the person who placed the
(06:53):
advertisement and then they could contact you by snail mail.
And obviously I didn't do any ofthat, but it was interesting to
read the ads and what people were looking for and all sorts
of terminology that people were using.
I had no clue what it meant, butit was intoxicating that you
hear about the clubs and kind ofbrief overviews of what was
(07:14):
going on. It was absolutely amazing.
So on paydays, every other Tuesday, I would make a journey
to the adult bookstore. I, I now at this point could
find both Taco Bell and the adult bookstore easily.
And this continued and about halfway through the semester, I
(07:34):
was in there buying the latest, the latest sort of local Zine.
And in the same section I was, and I had the, you know, I had
my purchase right in my hand. Standing there with, with his
wife was one of my professors. In fact, the professor I was
(07:56):
working on the Tacitus paper for.
And I think it's one of those moments that everyone, it's,
it's a common question, what happens if I run into somebody I
know? Well, here it is.
And I didn't even know what I didn't know.
I just knew this was intoxicating to me.
I really, something pulled me toit.
And here I am holding this clearas day, you know, turned so that
(08:20):
they could see what I had in my hand.
And what do you do? He spoke to me, said hello.
So yeah, I said hello back. We had a brief conversation.
And I just immediately owned up that, you know, I found this
BDSM thing intoxicating and thatI didn't know much about it.
(08:43):
And explained that I look forward to Tuesdays because I
came here, got got something to try and learn more, and then
went to Taco Bell for a late dinner.
And, you know, that was it. They carried on.
I left deeply embarrassed and even more embarrassed that I
just spoke freely rather than sort of watching my tongue,
(09:07):
which is what I would normally have done.
But in that moment, I just spokeand said, hey, here's what I'm
doing here, here's why. And when I went to see the same
professor in office hours because I was really struggling
to find resources on Tacitus of all things, which is amazing
that you couldn't, but I was really struggling.
(09:29):
And he shared some of his own books with me, which of course,
the rule was I had to read them during his office hours because
they were not leaving his office, which was fine, I had no
problem with that. But I think the big reason for
why the books couldn't leave theoffice, looking back, is he
wanted to get to know me becauseafter the semester ended and
(09:55):
after Tacitus, he was working onanother research project.
And although he couldn't pay me,he didn't have a stipend, He
wasn't a, he wasn't tenured yet.He offered me a chance to help
him with the research and to geta credit, you know, research
credit for it in the book. So of course, I jumped at it.
(10:15):
I'm an undergrad and this is something that most grad
students get. And the deal was I would do the
research, some of the research, he would, you know, tell me what
to look up and what not and pullit all together for him.
And since he couldn't pay me Sundays, since I was still a
dorm rat the next semester when the dining halls were closed on
campus, I know it's weird to think that you couldn't get a
(10:36):
meal on a Sunday, but you couldn't.
And they would, you know, provide dinner.
So I thought, hey, that's a fairtrade.
I'd get a decent meal and I get experience.
This is great. And what eventually happened is
that the professor and his wife both kind of, you know, asked me
(11:03):
if I was one night over dinner, asked me if I was still, you
know, researching the, the, the,the adult bookstore thing.
And I said, yes, I was. And I said it was, you know, I
was struggling to find, you know, educational stuff on it.
A lot of it was, you know, sort of Cornish.
And I was really looking to learn.
And there was a moment of silence.
(11:25):
And the wife then spoke and said, well, we are AGS couple.
And I sort of knew what that wasbut didn't know what it was.
So they explained it to me, you know, the dominance submissive,
you know, and how that worked. And if I was open to it, they
would be willing to sort of share their knowledge with me.
(11:48):
And so it started where not onlydid I do research, I also got
research from them. They had a wide collection of
books on it and we would talk about it and they would talk
about what was going on in theirlives and how DS fit for them,
what worked for them, how they did it, and it was fantastic.
(12:10):
Turns out there was even a localcommunity of people in that
particular city that were into media SM and they had, you know,
gatherings once a month for dinner.
And the thing was you had to be brought in and introduced and
then actually interviewed by theby the couple that hosted the
(12:32):
munch, which was for me a very nervous process because I really
wanted to meet more people. And so went and did that and it
was great. I started meeting people, having
conversations, getting to know other people.
And that's how it all grew for me.
And through this connection, I met a young lady who was also
(12:58):
into this and also a student at the same university.
And we started dating. And I guess you could call it
ADS relationship, probably one with a whole lot of training
wheels on it for both of us because we were both brand new,
both naive, inexperienced. So it was a lot of learning and
(13:22):
learning through trial and error, which I really don't
recommend, especially with all the resources out there that we
have today. But it was a great experience
and that is how I came to discover everything and get
involved. Then came the big change in
life, graduation. The girl I was dating, she moved
(13:47):
WI, moved a little bit east. And back then you actually
couldn't Skype, you know, of course there was no Internet and
you actually had to pay for thisthing called long distance,
which been if you called somebody probably 30 miles away,
it was at least $0.10 a minute if you got a really good deal,
which got really expensive really fast.
(14:07):
And our schedules clashed. And it just the distance killed
that relationship. And after it died, I thought
that this whole BDSM thing was acollege phase, right?
I had friends getting married, starting families, and the
corporate world was, you know, sort of preaching that I should
(14:28):
be doing the same. So I put it away, put it on a
shelf and tried to be the good vanilla person.
Putting my head down, going to work, working hard, dating.
Had a couple of 1, dated a couple of wonderful, wonderful
people, and every time these relationships sort of sputtered
(14:49):
out because I felt that I was bored and I couldn't figure it
out. They were both very different.
We shared a lot of the same interest.
So, you know, outside of, you know, the standard dating thing,
we did a lot of things together that we had in common, but there
was something missing. And internally, I could only
(15:09):
chalk it up to feeling bored. And so after both of those
ended, I had to have that conversation with myself.
OK, it's not them, it's me. What is it about me that is
feeling unfulfilled or unhappy here?
And what came to light for me asI unpacked a whole lot of
(15:34):
baggage in my head was that it was PDSM that was missing.
And at that point in time, the Internet had come back or had
come into being. So I started poking around on
the Internet and of course therewas a lot of information.
(15:55):
It was very easy to find, easierto find munches in person,
gatherings, information, chat rooms, discussions, you name it,
it was there. And so I came back into the
world of BDSM and started makingconnections and friendships via
the Internet, which was absolutely fantastic.
(16:19):
Much better than the old days which I never fully experienced
of doing the the personal ad type thing with a self addressed
stamped envelope and waiting andhoping the snail mail would come
with something. So it was fantastic.
And then I don't know how long ago it's been, It's probably
(16:40):
been at least at least a decade.I was looking for a creative
outlet for myself. And so I started writing about
the lifestyle and my experiences.
And so that's how I started doing a little bit of sort of, I
guess we could call it microblogging to start with and
went from there and it grew to what it is now.
(17:03):
And my socials that I do in thispodcast or video cast or vlog,
whatever the correct terminologyfor all of it is, is not
something I am doing to grow followers.
Which granted, I, I do secretly will admit that it's wonderful
when somebody does follow me. It's kind of like, oh, they like
(17:24):
what I'm having to say. That's awesome.
But it's all really for me, it'screativity and getting a
creative out, getting my creativity out.
I can't do music, I Can't Sing, I can't play an instrument, I
can't draw, I can't paint, but Ican write.
And so it's a really great creativity outlet for me to, to
(17:47):
do this. So that is that is why I do the
content that I do is for my own,my own creativity and my own, my
own release of all that pent up energy, which has been actually
fantastic and and very therapeutic, as well as
hopefully sharing and imparting some of the experiences that
I've had along the way. So I just kind of ended here
(18:12):
with a couple of questions that I get.
Do I am I still in contact with with I guess my lifestyle
mentors and unfortunately I am not Life happens and they've
actually since both passed away,unfortunately, but they did
(18:33):
continue to live DS right up until they ended up passing
away. So the big lesson that I took
away from that is that it's our choice whether we choose to age
out of the lifestyle or if we just adjust the lifestyle for
our ages. And it's very amazing to see
that we can just make some adjustments and not age out of
(18:56):
the lifestyle. So that is kind of the common
question. And another question that some
people ask me is did you know any sort of play type things
happen with me and my mentors? And the answer is not play,
perhaps as you would call it, but yes, educational things like
(19:20):
learning how to do simple things, learning how to, you
know, use, use a flogger, use a paddle, all of those things.
And unfortunately for me at the time, they were very old school.
So you had to learn what they would call from the bottom up,
which meant before you use the paddle on someone else, someone
(19:41):
used the paddle on you, which definitely was an eye opening
experience. Not something that I enjoyed,
but it is something that I thinkmany, many more dominance should
consider partaking in. Obviously it won't feel the same
way as it would feel to a submissive.
(20:02):
It gives you some idea of what it's like and I think that is
important, especially in this day and age.
Where every bit of information we tend to get is dedicated to
our role. There's great information out
there, you know, to learn how touse that paddle, but it's from
(20:24):
either what it should feel like for the submissive or how the
dominant should do it. And actually experiencing it
from the other side I think is very, very beneficial no matter
what your role or even if you'reexploring and you haven't picked
a role yet. So, yeah, that is sort of the
couple of the key, key takeawaysthat I had.
(20:44):
And it was a great experience. And if you do have the chance to
get to know somebody who is willing to, you know, be an
educational resource with you, be a mentor, take full advantage
of that. And if you want to be a mentor
or be mentored, I guess is what I'm looking for, be a mentee.
Don't just randomly approach somebody that you perhaps admire
(21:07):
online and say, will you mentor me?
Get to know them a little bit asa person because there does need
to be, you know, you have to getalong with the person that is
going to be a mentor. It doesn't mean you have to be
best friends or buddies and hangout and watch football on the
weekends, but you do have to have some sort of connection
(21:28):
beyond just the interest, the same interest.
So that is my advice. That is my origin story.
I hope everyone has a fabulous week and I look forward to
seeing you again in two weeks. There should not hopefully be
any delays before the next episode.
So thank you for tuning in. Once again, I apologize for the
(21:50):
delay. Have a great next two weeks and
I will chat with you soon.
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