August 30, 2024 • 32 mins
Feeling overwhelmed and need a break to regroup? You're not alone. Join me on this emotionally charged episode of "Check Yourself with Harley" as I open up about my personal battles with feeling isolated and the struggle for self-awareness. From insights drawn from a recent church sermon on loneliness to the poignant realization that many of us feel lonely even with faith and connections, we dive deep into the complexities of human relationships and the importance of honest conversations. You'll find comfort in knowing you're not the only one navigating these waters.
Ever felt like an outcast for seeking deeper connections? Listen as I share my own journey of transitioning from superficial friendships to embracing authenticity, even if it means feeling isolated at times. I recount how a challenging conversation with my ex became a pivotal moment for self-reflection and growth, underscoring the importance of accepting truths regardless of their source. This raw and candid discussion will inspire you to look inward and confront your own uncomfortable truths, leading to meaningful personal change.
To wrap up, we delve into the emotional challenges of self-reflection and the crucial role of mutual support in relationships. Learn how letting go of bitterness and embracing criticism can be transformative, as I share personal anecdotes that highlight the importance of being grounded in your true self. Finally, I spread love and encouragement, reminding you that despite life's ups and downs, you are loved, enough, and never alone. Stay positive, keep spreading the love, and let's navigate this journey together.
Thank you for listening 💞 You are loved You are enough You are NOT alone You were built for this.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
You better check yourself before you break
yourself.
You better check yourselfbefore you break yourself.
The way of fools seems right tothem, but the wise listen to
advice.
Proverbs 12, 15.
Hey, what's up you guys?
Welcome back to Check Yourselfwith Harley.
Thank you for being here withme today and spending time with
(00:21):
me.
I wanted to, before I go on tothis week's episode, kind of
talk a little bit about thingsthat have been going on with me.
I did not film an episode lastweek.
Things have just been sucking alot lately.
Honestly, I am dealing with alot of stuff personally, a lot
of things like inside.
(00:42):
As I mentioned to you guys,this is a journey and that is
why I created the podcast,because I wanted to share it
with other people that maybewere going through something
similar or like maybe arewanting to, you know, change
some things, and it's really,really hard.
(01:03):
It's hard to completelyrestructure the way that you
have behaved your whole life.
I am 34 years old.
I didn't learn the way that Iwas overnight, and I say was
because I'm definitely not thesame person.
However, that person is stillthere.
(01:24):
It's still very much part of me.
So there is times where thereis situations that come and they
put me in a certain like panicmode and survival and then I
kind of like start to, you know,want to go back to old
behaviors and things like that.
(01:45):
So I took a moment to kind oflike regroup myself and figure
out like what is it that I needto be focused on?
Pray, do a lot of likeunderstanding not just of myself
, but people around me.
Understanding not just ofmyself, but people around me and
(02:10):
that has been pretty helpfulfor me Doesn't mean that
everything's good and thingsstill don't suck, but it makes
it a lot easier to handle.
I think that life will never beperfect and you sometimes aren't
cured of the disease and youstill have to live with it, and
it's about learning how tomanage what you're dealing with
(02:33):
and going through.
So that's what I've been doingand I have really been thinking
about my podcast.
I love what I'm doing so far.
I just want to do it better andI haven't been happy with what
I've been putting out.
To be quite honest.
I like the content.
(02:54):
They're important episodes foryou guys to kind of get an
understanding of what I'm doingbut I also feel like I'm not
coming through on my episodesthe way I want to.
I want to be myself.
I don't want to sound like acorporate representative of
something, because I'm not, andI don't want to sound like I
(03:18):
have it all together because Idon't and that was the point of
the podcast was so others likeme would not feel alone.
I actually went to church onSunday and the sermon was about
loneliness.
I thought it was amazing.
The pastors were talking abouthow only 12% of people that feel
lonely will actually talk aboutit because they are embarrassed
(03:44):
or ashamed or you know, feellike they'll be judged.
Then the pastors mentionedtwo-thirds of the people in the
world are actually lonely.
They feel lonely.
So that was a really importantsermon for me, because I feel
lonely.
I feel lonely.
(04:04):
Sometimes I am at home with mydaughter all day.
She's only eight months.
I do have a job, but it'sobviously work from home, so it
does feel lonely.
And one of the things that Ithought about, whenever you're a
Christian and you say somethinglike I feel lonely, people are
automatically going to be likebut you have Jesus all the time.
(04:25):
Yes, that is true, but from myperspective, is you can be
lonely and you can be empty.
Being empty and lonely are twodifferent things.
When you're empty, you have nohope, you have nothing, you
believe in nothing and you'rejust kind of here for whatever
reason, until you're not.
(04:47):
And that's how I used to livemy life.
I used to be empty and I usedto look for ways to fill this
void that I just didn't knowwhat it was.
But I don't feel that I don'tfeel not happy just because I am
going through things.
I still have a lot of peaceinside of me and I'm still
really happy.
But it doesn't make it any lesshard.
(05:07):
And I know I have Jesus with meand I know that I can talk to
him.
But it is nice to havecompanionship and it is nice to
have someone to hang out withand talk to and things like that
.
Like yes, I have my kids, but Iwould like to talk to an adult
sometimes.
So that is the point of medoing this podcast so that you
(05:28):
don't feel like a weirdowondering weird questions to
yourself or like that you'redealing with something and
you're not too sure but youdon't really know who to ask or
you don't have anyone to ask.
A lot of times we think I'm notlonely because I have all these
friends, and I mean, whatfriends do you have?
Are they like friends that youcan be like real with and talk
(05:50):
to and y'all can talk about,like things from the past and
how you've overcome or how youhaven't overcome yet?
Or like maybe something you'redealing with really personal,
without judgment?
Or do you have like thesesurface level friends where
you're like he, he, ha, ha andat the end of the day, if you're
really going through some, youcan't call them?
And I think a lot of us havethose surface level friendships.
(06:13):
I had a friend that I had, formy goodness, years and years and
years, and they didn't find outpersonal things about me until
like a couple years ago.
I've always had very surfacelevel friendships because I
didn't want to like sound likethe weird one and I, you know,
didn't want to seem like I wasjust all over the place or
(06:33):
whatever.
So I decided to stop livinglike that a while back because I
was just over it.
It's very exhausting, but Iunderstand that that's very hard
for a lot of people.
So I don't want anyone to feelalone, even if I can't talk to
you or even if you know you feelbetter just keeping certain
(06:56):
things to yourself.
I just don't want you to feellike the weirdo outcast like I
do sometimes, so I willembarrass myself for all of us.
That was just a littlepre-episode tangent.
I really just wanted y'all toknow that I want to come across
as me.
I am not a professional and I'mnot here to be one.
(07:17):
I am here to be your friend.
I'm here to make you feel likeyou're not all by yourself in
this very complicated world andlife that we're all living in
right now.
That is how I'm going to bemoving forward with my podcast.
I am going to be keeping it me.
I'm going to be myself.
All of that out the way.
So today's episode how do youhandle the truth?
(07:39):
So while making this episode, Iwas actually having this
discussion with one of myfriends I went to high school
with.
He's been a friend for years.
We used to work together and wewould just shoot the.
You know we just do that allthe time on different topics.
We've always just had likethese really deep discussions
(08:02):
about different stuff.
We have these debates and wekind of like talk about our own
different point of view andthings like that.
Back when Clinton and Trumpwere going against each other.
We used to watch the debates.
It was like football for us.
We just like talk about whatone was doing, the other one,
(08:23):
one, and we kind of like talkcrap to each other about it and
to each other of the can, likeour candidate that we were going
for, because we were going forthe same person.
It was just it was fun.
It's fun times to have thoseconversations with him.
So for this episode we're kindof discussing my last episode.
And then he started discussingabout like the flip side of you
(08:45):
receiving, the keeping it realwhen people keep it real with
you.
He was kind of saying that themost important part of receiving
the truth was where it wascoming from.
But I disagree with him becauseI don't believe that is
necessarily the case.
Doesn't matter where the truthcome from.
So the truth is just the truth,like we talked about in the
(09:08):
previous episode, of course,delivery and like how you mean
it and how you kind of likerelay something, maybe sensitive
information, to somebody thatdoesn't really know that about
themselves.
You would want to be kind ofcautious and just careful, but
that doesn't mean that you can'tget the truth from somebody
that doesn't like you or thatdoesn't have your best interest
(09:30):
at heart.
So why not use that?
Why not use something thatsomeone is giving to you If it's
useful information?
I would and I do.
I always have.
I think the most importantthing is for you to actually
analyze the truth that they aregiving to you.
Is it an actual truth?
What value does it hold for youin your life?
So we went back and forth for awhile.
(09:52):
He, I don't think, reallygrasped on, maybe fully, what I
was saying.
He was kind of catching mydrift, but maybe this episode
will answer that for you, myfriend, when you listen to it.
So when I split up from myoldest kid's dad, we weren't
like the best friends ever.
Now our kids are 16, 15, and 14.
(10:13):
So we get along just fine.
We actually get along well.
Yeah, back then we were kind oflike doing the baby mama, baby
daddy thing that everybody andhated each other and took each
other's kids away from eachother every other day.
Pretty much we would fight allthe time.
I remember this was years afterwe split.
(10:33):
We'd still have like a reallyhard time, just because it's
hard to like catch yourco-parenting wave, I guess.
So we used to say like reallymean things to each other.
One thing that we both knew wasthat we both cared about being
in the kids' lives.
Now I consider him great friend, great person in my life.
(10:54):
We had to just grow up, but youknow, things happen.
So back in the day, in one ofthese like arguments that we're
having, it had been some yearsafter we had split up and he was
in a new relationship and he'dbeen in this relationship for
about five years at that timeand I remember he said to me I
believe his words were are yousure you're not the problem?
Or like maybe you're theproblem, or something like that.
(11:16):
So I was just so upset and Ijust thought, like how dare you?
Why would I be the problem?
Because I am just, you know,perfect.
It was all him.
All of our problems were himand he was the one that did
everything to me.
I think that's kind of how weall look at things.
Whenever we break up withsomebody, we just blame
(11:37):
everything on them.
We don't think that we didanything wrong or had any part.
Especially, we compare thewrongs, like does their wrong
match my wrong or is their sinmore sinful than mine?
And that's not a thing.
We don't know how one personfeels pain compared to you.
Maybe something that you thinkis small is very hurtful to
(11:59):
somebody else.
So, anyway, I at the time didnot take this truth with any
type of value, obviously, and Ialso kind of thought how can
somebody come tell me a truthabout me that they don't even
practice themselves?
I think we all do that a lot oftimes, mostly with parents.
Like our parents will tell usdon't do this or be careful with
(12:22):
that, and you're just kind oflike didn't you do that?
Like a million times already,like I'm not going to listen to
you, I'm going to go ahead anddo me and screw up my life the
best way I see fit.
That's kind of how I saw itwhenever he said that to me.
You know, after a while ofthings not going as envisioned
for me, I had to kind of take alook at the facts about the
(12:42):
truth that he was telling meInstead of like thinking, oh you
know, this is somebody thatdoes not have my best interest
at heart.
He doesn't even like me, andwhy would he care if I am
successful in a relationship ornot?
I had to think about the actualtruth.
I had to stop thinking aboutwhere it was coming from.
I had to analyze our situationas a whole.
(13:04):
I had to take responsibilityfor the things that I did in our
relationship and why it failed.
I had to look at the fact thathe had now been in a successful
relationship for five years.
I think I have already beenthrough two failed ones at this
point, probably one actual, realone that I would count.
Who knows how many people Idated at that point, I don't
(13:24):
know.
I had to let go of thebitterness of our past, maybe
look for the value in what hewas telling me, because this is
somebody I had just spent a lotof years with and we have three
kids together.
Who better than to mayberecognize something in me that I
don't recognize in myself?
A relationship that he was inor that he isn't because it's
his wife, they're not a badrelationship.
(13:47):
They were able to make it workback.
You know, when I was bitter andI was upset, I would think well
, obviously a man can alwaysfind somebody, because women are
out here lonely sometimes youjust take whatever you can get
and they just kind of stay.
And that was wrong for me tothink like that because anybody,
(14:08):
no matter who you are, you weall have like a threshold of how
much crap we're going to takefrom a person, so it was wrong
for me to think that they'vebeen able to accomplish goals.
They successfully got herthrough school.
She's a teacher, like I said, anice person, nothing weird.
Anytime that we're all in thesame room, it's she's a teacher.
Like I said, a nice person,nothing weird.
Any time that we're all in thesame room, it's.
She's very, very cordial.
(14:30):
There's no disrespect that goeson between her and I.
When I started kind of thinkingabout all of those things, I
started to see, yeah, I probablyhave a part.
One thing is that differentpeople bring different things
out of you.
Some people are better together.
Some of the things is dependenton how you are towards the
(14:52):
person, like how supportive youare and how much you share in
with their dreams and how muchyou guys communicate and things
like that.
So that was something that theyhad that we definitely did not.
The truth that he gave to me isactually that I wasn't perfect
and for me to sit and comparewrongs, I wasn't doing myself
(15:15):
any favors because he wasn'tdoing that.
He was able to make a life forhimself at this point, but I was
still thinking that there'snothing I was doing wrong, so I
will just continue being thesame thing that I had been
through our whole seven yearsthat we were together.
That truth actually completelychanged things for me in a lot
(15:40):
of different ways Not at thatmoment, because I only have
implemented and accepted it, butit is something that I now knew
that it was a fact.
Yeah, it wasn't delivered from.
The best person like this issomebody who I just went through
a terrible breakup with and wehad like a lot of bad things
(16:00):
when we were together.
Regardless of who he is, hestill told me something that I
truly needed to see in order forme to have a successful
relationship later on in life.
Had I not known that, I wouldhave just continued to act the
same way.
I would be acting the same wayright now and keep thinking that
I am just, you know, a ray ofsunshine when I am not.
(16:21):
I will always be extremelythankful to my kid's dad for
pointing that out to me at thattime, and obviously our
relationship has came a long wayand if he were to say that to
me today, I would have thoughtabout.
You know what he was saying,but I did not that time because
of where it was coming from.
You know, just like you'regoing to receive truths from
(16:42):
someone that you don't like, youwant to like brush those aside
and not accept them.
There's times where you'regoing to receive some truths
from someone that you actuallylove very much, and when we
receive hard truths from someonethat we love and they are not
delivered in the best waypossible, I think we take those
truths to heart Again.
(17:03):
We need to look at that truth,especially if it's not said to
you in the best way.
I actually just had a situationhappen to me where I was talking
to someone that I love, verymuch, admire, and I always kind
of felt like they saw medifferent.
They saw me for the best in meand not necessarily like the bad
(17:28):
things that I've done, like not.
They don't judge me based offmy past, basically.
But some of the things thatwere said, I internalized them
right away.
The thing is that it's not true.
Some of the things that theywere saying, the truths that I
was hearing, weren't present daytruths.
They are from the past.
I had to understand thedifference because if you
(17:51):
receive something that you'vealready kind of worked through,
there's no point on you feelingbad about yourself.
So you have to look at thistruth and think how much truth
is there to it?
Is that still the case?
Can I take something away fromit?
Like, maybe improve?
Maybe you have changed it some,but you can improve it.
So from this one, that's kindof what I took.
(18:16):
I had made the changes, but Idid need to improve and work
more on this particular thing.
I was very upset and then I wasjust like you know what?
I need to just work harder atthis.
That's what I'm doing.
I'm working harder on thataspect of my life.
Sometimes we get a truth fromsomeone that we care very deeply
about A situation that I had.
I was in a relationship longterm.
(18:38):
I was having a discussion withthis other person.
They were talking about theirjob and how much they didn't
like their job and they werejust tired of it and this had
been like a conversation forsome months now.
I was just feeling very likesad that they were just so
unhappy with this job and Iwanted to help in some way.
(18:59):
We were like talking about likegoals and things like that and
I was just kind of like askingthem like what do they really
truly want to do?
And you know, like how can wefigure out to get them to a
place where they're feelinghappier and more fulfilled?
I suggested that they quittheir job and that they switch
onto a new field, and theresponse was not everyone can
(19:21):
quit their job every two years.
I was really triggered wheneverthis person said that, because
it was true and it was somethingI was always really
self-conscious about.
I had a really hard time likeholding down a job for very long
.
When they said this to me, Iimmediately was like really
defensive and I was just likewhat in the heck?
(19:44):
And I was just like what in theheck?
Like I am here trying to besupportive of you and trying to
help you for you to like feelhappy in what you're doing, and
you're like coming at me kind ofsideways.
I thought about what was beingsaid to me instead of like
internalizing that and feelingreally bad about myself.
I had to understand that atthat time I had like undiagnosed
(20:07):
mental illness and with what Ihave it's it causes you to be
impulsive.
At one point I decided I didn'twant to work in an office
anymore, so was like I'm goingto go waitress.
I started working at arestaurant and at a bar and that
was just impulsive because Ihave kids.
I can't just be getting up andquitting jobs and doing all that
crazy mess, but that's what Iwould do with school.
(20:31):
It was difficult because I haveagain ADHD or ADD whatever.
I couldn't focus for very longon one specific thing.
If it was boring, if it wasn'tfulfilling, then I just didn't
want to do it and I just wantedto move on to something else.
I wasn't successful infinishing that and that was
(20:51):
something that has alwaysbothered me.
Because I wanted to finishschool, I tried for a long time
to go to school full time, takecare of the kids and work a full
time job, because I was asingle mom for a long time.
Yeah, I was hurtful when Iheard that.
As I analyzed the truth andbroke it down, I was able to
give myself some grace andunderstanding to myself that
these were the reasons for thatand I did not have to make
(21:14):
myself feel like I was just apiece of crap because of that.
It's just an unfortunate sideeffect of something that I had
no control over at that time.
That's something I stillstruggle with, but I am more
aware of the struggle, so I tryto work really hard and
implement things that will makeme be more successful at holding
(21:36):
down that job.
When you hear the truth aboutcertain things, how does that
truth make you feel?
Is it a truth that you'vealready kind of worked through,
because I've received thosetruths that are past truths.
I have moved past that certainseason in my life, so it can be
(21:56):
true, but it's something thatI've already recognized and
moved past.
Now you're going to hear sometruths where people will tell
you something like reallyoutrageous and it's going to
like upset you.
That's not the same thing assomething that's triggering or
making you self-conscious more.
I think whenever you'reself-conscious about something,
(22:17):
that is when you probably shouldtake a moment, analyze, like,
am I self-conscious because thisis like a past thing that I've
had and am I still continuing it?
Or am I self-conscious becausethis is like a past thing that
I've had and am I stillcontinuing it?
Or am I self-conscious becauseI feel like this is true and I
just haven't been able to acceptthat truth?
If you haven't been able toaccept it, are you scared of
(22:38):
making the adjustment, or areyou scared that you wouldn't be
able to make any adjustment ormake the changes, that it would
be too hard?
If that is the case, then don'taccept that from yourself.
You can definitely make thechange.
It's not going to be anovernight change and it's not
going to be easy.
But acknowledging the fact thatyou know that that is something
(23:00):
that is true and you probablyneed to go ahead and work on is
a huge step, because noteveryone is going to do that.
A lot of people go through theirwhole life being told like, hey
, you should probably like ABC,and they're just kind of like,
no, I don't.
Because I don't do that and Idon't accept it, you will go
(23:21):
through life not being able togrow and not improve yourself.
That's a disservice that you'redoing to you personally.
You also want to think about.
Is there something I can learnfrom this truth?
Will it help me grow andimprove the quality of my life
overall, to accept and grow fromit the situation with my kid's
dad?
It did.
(23:41):
I accepted that I needed to be amore supportive partner.
I needed to speak more lifeinto the person that I am trying
to create a life with and notsit there and bash them every
five seconds for every thingthat they do wrong, because I do
things wrong all the time andI'm not perfect.
(24:03):
It's really unfair to thinkthat they are the only ones at
fault of everything.
And comparing well, he did that, so I am better.
That's not how a relationshipshould work.
That's not how a marriage wouldwork.
Ultimately, I think that's thegoal is to have a marriage that
would be successful.
(24:23):
So, in light of the truth thatyou're receiving, one thing I
also try to do is think arethere other truths that maybe
I've been trying to avoid?
Maybe start looking and seeing.
What are patterns that you have?
What is happening around you?
How are you contributing tosituations in your life?
Maybe make some apologies.
Maybe accept the wrongs thatyou have done, implement changes
(24:47):
little ones.
Let's start new patterns.
It's simple things that lead tohuge outcomes.
Just for me, listening tosomething inspirational in the
morning, it has completelychanged the course of my day.
And that started that littlebit because it was easier to
just put it on in the car, andthen it progressed to now I
(25:10):
journal, pick up my Bible and doBible study first thing in the
morning.
That was like improvement timesa thousand for me.
You, just as you go, youprogress.
If you're trying to lose weight, you start walking 10, 15
minutes a day.
Next thing you know you're likerunning marathons, like it's
just the small changes that leadto huge things.
(25:32):
When you hear the truth, howdoes it affect how you view
yourself?
Does it affect something thatyou viewed as something like
positive about yourself?
At that point you might want togo ahead and think is this
positive, truly a positive?
Because you can think that youare confident, but maybe it's
not real confidence, it's justyou're prideful and cocky.
(25:54):
Obviously, then, that'ssomething you would need to go
ahead and adjust Again.
No one should be able to hurtthe person that you are, that
you feel secure in and rooted,that you feel like you are
establishing.
So if someone comes up to me andtells me that I'm not a very
kind person or that I'm notcompassionate, that would be a
(26:15):
laughable truth to me, because Iknow for a fact that I would
give my last to somebody thatneeded it and I've always wanted
to help other people.
I wouldn't want my worst enemyin the situations that I've been
in my life before.
That would just be absurd to meto hear that and I would be
able to be secure in who I amenough to just move past that
(26:39):
and it would not affect me inany way.
If someone told me you're crazy, I would feel somewhat
triggered.
Obviously not if it's like afriend or my kids or you know if
it's a jokingly way, but I meanif someone basically attacked
me for the way that I think orif I say something, and of
course that's's because of Ideal with mental illness, not
(27:00):
necessarily because it's true,it's just it's a sensitive
subject for me.
To wrap this up, just rememberthat when you start to become
grounded in who you truly are,who you're working towards, you
have absolute confidence thatyou are taking the steps, that
you are doing your very best tobecome this person, or that you
(27:21):
are doing your best to maintainwhat you are, or that you're
doing your very best andmaintaining or where you've
gotten.
At this point there is no quote, unquote truth that could shake
that.
I have had the hardest timewith people saying things to me
(27:42):
from my past that they want tocome back and kind of
incorporate into my presentseason.
It's frustrating, I will tellyou right now.
It gets really exhaustingbecause you're like you're
almost like annoyed that yourpast keeps getting like brought
into.
You know your face when you'vebeen working so hard.
(28:03):
But I had to like truly justthink and not that I don't care
or listen to people's advice,but advice is the amount of
skill that that person has andthe amount that they know.
Nobody knows you better thanyourself.
As you become more confident inwhat you're doing, as you are
more sure of who you are, youwon't even have to see the
(28:25):
difference between a truth andyour past.
So, to resolve the debatebetween my friend and I yes, you
should consider the source, nodoubt.
However, that is not the firstor second thing that you should
consider.
We need to be our own source.
Just because someone saidsomething to us in a crappy way
(28:45):
or with ill intention, ordoesn't mean it to help better
you, doesn't mean that it's notsomething you can take and learn
from and grow and improveyourself.
Like they just did you a favor,they gave you something you
didn't have before, which wasthe knowledge of something that
you couldn't see by yourself.
And, the same token, justbecause someone that you love
(29:08):
and you care about, that youfeel like cares about you.
Tells you something that theyfeel is true doesn't make it
real.
People have their ownperception of the truth.
They have their owninsecurities and ideas of all of
us.
We all have a perception aboutother people, even those that we
love, that doesn't make it real.
You are the one that candetermine how much truth there
(29:30):
is to something that someone istelling you, but you have to be
honest with yourself.
You have to really think aboutwhat is being said and how it
makes you feel.
If maybe you're unsure aboutsomething that you heard and
I've had situations where I'veheard things that I am not sure
if I am doing or that I haven'timproved, or maybe it's even
that I haven't improved them allthe way and I still need to
(29:53):
work harder on that specificthing I will pray and I will ask
for guidance.
Maybe you don't pray, maybejournal it out, but really try
to like dig deep within yourself.
Some truths are harder toaccept and they're going to take
longer.
You might not take care of itright then and there, but at
(30:13):
least you have some awareness ofit and you can go back to it
when you're ready.
You don't have to face it atthat moment.
There are some truths that Ihaven't faced up to this point
and I'm not so sure when I'mgoing to face them, and that's
okay.
You aren't on anyone else'stimeline or any truth.
This is your journey.
You can work on each thing atthe time that you feel most
(30:35):
comfortable to do that, becausesome of them will take strength
and some of them will takecourage.
It can be a lot.
It can take a toll on you.
Be kind and patient withyourself and just take your time
and accepting and working on it.
No step is going to be toosmall.
I'm going to go ahead and endwith thank y'all again for
(30:55):
listening, being here with me.
I am really excited to moveforward, be able to just be me,
that you guys can feel thatyou're loved and that you're not
alone in this and in the waysthat you feel or like the things
you're going through.
We all are going through stuff.
I think it's easier for us tohide away and not share those
(31:18):
things, but truthfully, itchanges.
Whenever you share, you get itout.
You're not like carrying thisheavy burden around anymore by
yourself.
So even if you're just sharingit with me, I appreciate that.
I love y'all.
I pray that you're going tohave a great rest of your week.
Good weekend.
I will most definitely beputting on an episode next week.
(31:42):
I will continue on with theTikToks and the reels and all
that good stuff.
Truly miss doing them.
I love being able to justspread the love around if you're
having a rough day, because itmakes my rough day go a little
bit less rough.
Just remember you are loved,you're enough and you're never
alone.
Until next time.
You better check yourself before you break
yourself.
You better check yourselfbefore you break yourself.
The way of fools seems right tothem, but the wise listen to
advice.
Proverbs 12, 15.
Hey, what's up you guys?
Welcome back to Check Yourselfwith Harley.
Thank you for being here withme today and spending time with
(00:21):
me.
I wanted to, before I go on tothis week's episode, kind of
talk a little bit about thingsthat have been going on with me.
I did not film an episode lastweek.
Things have just been sucking alot lately.
Honestly, I am dealing with alot of stuff personally, a lot
of things like inside.
(00:42):
As I mentioned to you guys,this is a journey and that is
why I created the podcast,because I wanted to share it
with other people that maybewere going through something
similar or like maybe arewanting to, you know, change
some things, and it's really,really hard.
(01:03):
It's hard to completelyrestructure the way that you
have behaved your whole life.
I am 34 years old.
I didn't learn the way that Iwas overnight, and I say was
because I'm definitely not thesame person.
However, that person is stillthere.
(01:24):
It's still very much part of me.
So there is times where thereis situations that come and they
put me in a certain like panicmode and survival and then I
kind of like start to, you know,want to go back to old
behaviors and things like that.
(01:45):
So I took a moment to kind oflike regroup myself and figure
out like what is it that I needto be focused on?
Pray, do a lot of likeunderstanding not just of myself
, but people around me.
Understanding not just ofmyself, but people around me and
(02:10):
that has been pretty helpfulfor me Doesn't mean that
everything's good and thingsstill don't suck, but it makes
it a lot easier to handle.
I think that life will never beperfect and you sometimes aren't
cured of the disease and youstill have to live with it, and
it's about learning how tomanage what you're dealing with
(02:33):
and going through.
So that's what I've been doingand I have really been thinking
about my podcast.
I love what I'm doing so far.
I just want to do it better andI haven't been happy with what
I've been putting out.
To be quite honest.
I like the content.
(02:54):
They're important episodes foryou guys to kind of get an
understanding of what I'm doingbut I also feel like I'm not
coming through on my episodesthe way I want to.
I want to be myself.
I don't want to sound like acorporate representative of
something, because I'm not, andI don't want to sound like I
(03:18):
have it all together because Idon't and that was the point of
the podcast was so others likeme would not feel alone.
I actually went to church onSunday and the sermon was about
loneliness.
I thought it was amazing.
The pastors were talking abouthow only 12% of people that feel
lonely will actually talk aboutit because they are embarrassed
(03:44):
or ashamed or you know, feellike they'll be judged.
Then the pastors mentionedtwo-thirds of the people in the
world are actually lonely.
They feel lonely.
So that was a really importantsermon for me, because I feel
lonely.
I feel lonely.
(04:04):
Sometimes I am at home with mydaughter all day.
She's only eight months.
I do have a job, but it'sobviously work from home, so it
does feel lonely.
And one of the things that Ithought about, whenever you're a
Christian and you say somethinglike I feel lonely, people are
automatically going to be likebut you have Jesus all the time.
(04:25):
Yes, that is true, but from myperspective, is you can be
lonely and you can be empty.
Being empty and lonely are twodifferent things.
When you're empty, you have nohope, you have nothing, you
believe in nothing and you'rejust kind of here for whatever
reason, until you're not.
(04:47):
And that's how I used to livemy life.
I used to be empty and I usedto look for ways to fill this
void that I just didn't knowwhat it was.
But I don't feel that I don'tfeel not happy just because I am
going through things.
I still have a lot of peaceinside of me and I'm still
really happy.
But it doesn't make it any lesshard.
(05:07):
And I know I have Jesus with meand I know that I can talk to
him.
But it is nice to havecompanionship and it is nice to
have someone to hang out withand talk to and things like that
.
Like yes, I have my kids, but Iwould like to talk to an adult
sometimes.
So that is the point of medoing this podcast so that you
(05:28):
don't feel like a weirdowondering weird questions to
yourself or like that you'redealing with something and
you're not too sure but youdon't really know who to ask or
you don't have anyone to ask.
A lot of times we think I'm notlonely because I have all these
friends, and I mean, whatfriends do you have?
Are they like friends that youcan be like real with and talk
(05:50):
to and y'all can talk about,like things from the past and
how you've overcome or how youhaven't overcome yet?
Or like maybe something you'redealing with really personal,
without judgment?
Or do you have like thesesurface level friends where
you're like he, he, ha, ha andat the end of the day, if you're
really going through some, youcan't call them?
And I think a lot of us havethose surface level friendships.
(06:13):
I had a friend that I had, formy goodness, years and years and
years, and they didn't find outpersonal things about me until
like a couple years ago.
I've always had very surfacelevel friendships because I
didn't want to like sound likethe weird one and I, you know,
didn't want to seem like I wasjust all over the place or
(06:33):
whatever.
So I decided to stop livinglike that a while back because I
was just over it.
It's very exhausting, but Iunderstand that that's very hard
for a lot of people.
So I don't want anyone to feelalone, even if I can't talk to
you or even if you know you feelbetter just keeping certain
(06:56):
things to yourself.
I just don't want you to feellike the weirdo outcast like I
do sometimes, so I willembarrass myself for all of us.
That was just a littlepre-episode tangent.
I really just wanted y'all toknow that I want to come across
as me.
I am not a professional and I'mnot here to be one.
(07:17):
I am here to be your friend.
I'm here to make you feel likeyou're not all by yourself in
this very complicated world andlife that we're all living in
right now.
That is how I'm going to bemoving forward with my podcast.
I am going to be keeping it me.
I'm going to be myself.
All of that out the way.
So today's episode how do youhandle the truth?
(07:39):
So while making this episode, Iwas actually having this
discussion with one of myfriends I went to high school
with.
He's been a friend for years.
We used to work together and wewould just shoot the.
You know we just do that allthe time on different topics.
We've always just had likethese really deep discussions
(08:02):
about different stuff.
We have these debates and wekind of like talk about our own
different point of view andthings like that.
Back when Clinton and Trumpwere going against each other.
We used to watch the debates.
It was like football for us.
We just like talk about whatone was doing, the other one,
(08:23):
one, and we kind of like talkcrap to each other about it and
to each other of the can, likeour candidate that we were going
for, because we were going forthe same person.
It was just it was fun.
It's fun times to have thoseconversations with him.
So for this episode we're kindof discussing my last episode.
And then he started discussingabout like the flip side of you
(08:45):
receiving, the keeping it realwhen people keep it real with
you.
He was kind of saying that themost important part of receiving
the truth was where it wascoming from.
But I disagree with him becauseI don't believe that is
necessarily the case.
Doesn't matter where the truthcome from.
So the truth is just the truth,like we talked about in the
(09:08):
previous episode, of course,delivery and like how you mean
it and how you kind of likerelay something, maybe sensitive
information, to somebody thatdoesn't really know that about
themselves.
You would want to be kind ofcautious and just careful, but
that doesn't mean that you can'tget the truth from somebody
that doesn't like you or thatdoesn't have your best interest
(09:30):
at heart.
So why not use that?
Why not use something thatsomeone is giving to you If it's
useful information?
I would and I do.
I always have.
I think the most importantthing is for you to actually
analyze the truth that they aregiving to you.
Is it an actual truth?
What value does it hold for youin your life?
So we went back and forth for awhile.
(09:52):
He, I don't think, reallygrasped on, maybe fully, what I
was saying.
He was kind of catching mydrift, but maybe this episode
will answer that for you, myfriend, when you listen to it.
So when I split up from myoldest kid's dad, we weren't
like the best friends ever.
Now our kids are 16, 15, and 14.
(10:13):
So we get along just fine.
We actually get along well.
Yeah, back then we were kind oflike doing the baby mama, baby
daddy thing that everybody andhated each other and took each
other's kids away from eachother every other day.
Pretty much we would fight allthe time.
I remember this was years afterwe split.
(10:33):
We'd still have like a reallyhard time, just because it's
hard to like catch yourco-parenting wave, I guess.
So we used to say like reallymean things to each other.
One thing that we both knew wasthat we both cared about being
in the kids' lives.
Now I consider him great friend, great person in my life.
(10:54):
We had to just grow up, but youknow, things happen.
So back in the day, in one ofthese like arguments that we're
having, it had been some yearsafter we had split up and he was
in a new relationship and he'dbeen in this relationship for
about five years at that timeand I remember he said to me I
believe his words were are yousure you're not the problem?
Or like maybe you're theproblem, or something like that.
(11:16):
So I was just so upset and Ijust thought, like how dare you?
Why would I be the problem?
Because I am just, you know,perfect.
It was all him.
All of our problems were himand he was the one that did
everything to me.
I think that's kind of how weall look at things.
Whenever we break up withsomebody, we just blame
(11:37):
everything on them.
We don't think that we didanything wrong or had any part.
Especially, we compare thewrongs, like does their wrong
match my wrong or is their sinmore sinful than mine?
And that's not a thing.
We don't know how one personfeels pain compared to you.
Maybe something that you thinkis small is very hurtful to
(11:59):
somebody else.
So, anyway, I at the time didnot take this truth with any
type of value, obviously, and Ialso kind of thought how can
somebody come tell me a truthabout me that they don't even
practice themselves?
I think we all do that a lot oftimes, mostly with parents.
Like our parents will tell usdon't do this or be careful with
(12:22):
that, and you're just kind oflike didn't you do that?
Like a million times already,like I'm not going to listen to
you, I'm going to go ahead anddo me and screw up my life the
best way I see fit.
That's kind of how I saw itwhenever he said that to me.
You know, after a while ofthings not going as envisioned
for me, I had to kind of take alook at the facts about the
(12:42):
truth that he was telling meInstead of like thinking, oh you
know, this is somebody thatdoes not have my best interest
at heart.
He doesn't even like me, andwhy would he care if I am
successful in a relationship ornot?
I had to think about the actualtruth.
I had to stop thinking aboutwhere it was coming from.
I had to analyze our situationas a whole.
(13:04):
I had to take responsibilityfor the things that I did in our
relationship and why it failed.
I had to look at the fact thathe had now been in a successful
relationship for five years.
I think I have already beenthrough two failed ones at this
point, probably one actual, realone that I would count.
Who knows how many people Idated at that point, I don't
(13:24):
know.
I had to let go of thebitterness of our past, maybe
look for the value in what hewas telling me, because this is
somebody I had just spent a lotof years with and we have three
kids together.
Who better than to mayberecognize something in me that I
don't recognize in myself?
A relationship that he was inor that he isn't because it's
his wife, they're not a badrelationship.
(13:47):
They were able to make it workback.
You know, when I was bitter andI was upset, I would think well
, obviously a man can alwaysfind somebody, because women are
out here lonely sometimes youjust take whatever you can get
and they just kind of stay.
And that was wrong for me tothink like that because anybody,
(14:08):
no matter who you are, you weall have like a threshold of how
much crap we're going to takefrom a person, so it was wrong
for me to think that they'vebeen able to accomplish goals.
They successfully got herthrough school.
She's a teacher, like I said, anice person, nothing weird.
Anytime that we're all in thesame room, it's she's a teacher.
Like I said, a nice person,nothing weird.
Any time that we're all in thesame room, it's.
She's very, very cordial.
(14:30):
There's no disrespect that goeson between her and I.
When I started kind of thinkingabout all of those things, I
started to see, yeah, I probablyhave a part.
One thing is that differentpeople bring different things
out of you.
Some people are better together.
Some of the things is dependenton how you are towards the
(14:52):
person, like how supportive youare and how much you share in
with their dreams and how muchyou guys communicate and things
like that.
So that was something that theyhad that we definitely did not.
The truth that he gave to me isactually that I wasn't perfect
and for me to sit and comparewrongs, I wasn't doing myself
(15:15):
any favors because he wasn'tdoing that.
He was able to make a life forhimself at this point, but I was
still thinking that there'snothing I was doing wrong, so I
will just continue being thesame thing that I had been
through our whole seven yearsthat we were together.
That truth actually completelychanged things for me in a lot
(15:40):
of different ways Not at thatmoment, because I only have
implemented and accepted it, butit is something that I now knew
that it was a fact.
Yeah, it wasn't delivered from.
The best person like this issomebody who I just went through
a terrible breakup with and wehad like a lot of bad things
(16:00):
when we were together.
Regardless of who he is, hestill told me something that I
truly needed to see in order forme to have a successful
relationship later on in life.
Had I not known that, I wouldhave just continued to act the
same way.
I would be acting the same wayright now and keep thinking that
I am just, you know, a ray ofsunshine when I am not.
(16:21):
I will always be extremelythankful to my kid's dad for
pointing that out to me at thattime, and obviously our
relationship has came a long wayand if he were to say that to
me today, I would have thoughtabout.
You know what he was saying,but I did not that time because
of where it was coming from.
You know, just like you'regoing to receive truths from
(16:42):
someone that you don't like, youwant to like brush those aside
and not accept them.
There's times where you'regoing to receive some truths
from someone that you actuallylove very much, and when we
receive hard truths from someonethat we love and they are not
delivered in the best waypossible, I think we take those
truths to heart Again.
(17:03):
We need to look at that truth,especially if it's not said to
you in the best way.
I actually just had a situationhappen to me where I was talking
to someone that I love, verymuch, admire, and I always kind
of felt like they saw medifferent.
They saw me for the best in meand not necessarily like the bad
(17:28):
things that I've done, like not.
They don't judge me based offmy past, basically.
But some of the things thatwere said, I internalized them
right away.
The thing is that it's not true.
Some of the things that theywere saying, the truths that I
was hearing, weren't present daytruths.
They are from the past.
I had to understand thedifference because if you
(17:51):
receive something that you'vealready kind of worked through,
there's no point on you feelingbad about yourself.
So you have to look at thistruth and think how much truth
is there to it?
Is that still the case?
Can I take something away fromit?
Like, maybe improve?
Maybe you have changed it some,but you can improve it.
So from this one, that's kindof what I took.
(18:16):
I had made the changes, but Idid need to improve and work
more on this particular thing.
I was very upset and then I wasjust like you know what?
I need to just work harder atthis.
That's what I'm doing.
I'm working harder on thataspect of my life.
Sometimes we get a truth fromsomeone that we care very deeply
about A situation that I had.
I was in a relationship longterm.
(18:38):
I was having a discussion withthis other person.
They were talking about theirjob and how much they didn't
like their job and they werejust tired of it and this had
been like a conversation forsome months now.
I was just feeling very likesad that they were just so
unhappy with this job and Iwanted to help in some way.
(18:59):
We were like talking about likegoals and things like that and
I was just kind of like askingthem like what do they really
truly want to do?
And you know, like how can wefigure out to get them to a
place where they're feelinghappier and more fulfilled?
I suggested that they quittheir job and that they switch
onto a new field, and theresponse was not everyone can
(19:21):
quit their job every two years.
I was really triggered wheneverthis person said that, because
it was true and it was somethingI was always really
self-conscious about.
I had a really hard time likeholding down a job for very long
.
When they said this to me, Iimmediately was like really
defensive and I was just likewhat in the heck?
(19:44):
And I was just like what in theheck?
Like I am here trying to besupportive of you and trying to
help you for you to like feelhappy in what you're doing, and
you're like coming at me kind ofsideways.
I thought about what was beingsaid to me instead of like
internalizing that and feelingreally bad about myself.
I had to understand that atthat time I had like undiagnosed
(20:07):
mental illness and with what Ihave it's it causes you to be
impulsive.
At one point I decided I didn'twant to work in an office
anymore, so was like I'm goingto go waitress.
I started working at arestaurant and at a bar and that
was just impulsive because Ihave kids.
I can't just be getting up andquitting jobs and doing all that
crazy mess, but that's what Iwould do with school.
(20:31):
It was difficult because I haveagain ADHD or ADD whatever.
I couldn't focus for very longon one specific thing.
If it was boring, if it wasn'tfulfilling, then I just didn't
want to do it and I just wantedto move on to something else.
I wasn't successful infinishing that and that was
(20:51):
something that has alwaysbothered me.
Because I wanted to finishschool, I tried for a long time
to go to school full time, takecare of the kids and work a full
time job, because I was asingle mom for a long time.
Yeah, I was hurtful when Iheard that.
As I analyzed the truth andbroke it down, I was able to
give myself some grace andunderstanding to myself that
these were the reasons for thatand I did not have to make
(21:14):
myself feel like I was just apiece of crap because of that.
It's just an unfortunate sideeffect of something that I had
no control over at that time.
That's something I stillstruggle with, but I am more
aware of the struggle, so I tryto work really hard and
implement things that will makeme be more successful at holding
(21:36):
down that job.
When you hear the truth aboutcertain things, how does that
truth make you feel?
Is it a truth that you'vealready kind of worked through,
because I've received thosetruths that are past truths.
I have moved past that certainseason in my life, so it can be
(21:56):
true, but it's something thatI've already recognized and
moved past.
Now you're going to hear sometruths where people will tell
you something like reallyoutrageous and it's going to
like upset you.
That's not the same thing assomething that's triggering or
making you self-conscious more.
I think whenever you'reself-conscious about something,
(22:17):
that is when you probably shouldtake a moment, analyze, like,
am I self-conscious because thisis like a past thing that I've
had and am I still continuing it?
Or am I self-conscious becausethis is like a past thing that
I've had and am I stillcontinuing it?
Or am I self-conscious becauseI feel like this is true and I
just haven't been able to acceptthat truth?
If you haven't been able toaccept it, are you scared of
(22:38):
making the adjustment, or areyou scared that you wouldn't be
able to make any adjustment ormake the changes, that it would
be too hard?
If that is the case, then don'taccept that from yourself.
You can definitely make thechange.
It's not going to be anovernight change and it's not
going to be easy.
But acknowledging the fact thatyou know that that is something
(23:00):
that is true and you probablyneed to go ahead and work on is
a huge step, because noteveryone is going to do that.
A lot of people go through theirwhole life being told like, hey
, you should probably like ABC,and they're just kind of like,
no, I don't.
Because I don't do that and Idon't accept it, you will go
(23:21):
through life not being able togrow and not improve yourself.
That's a disservice that you'redoing to you personally.
You also want to think about.
Is there something I can learnfrom this truth?
Will it help me grow andimprove the quality of my life
overall, to accept and grow fromit the situation with my kid's
dad?
It did.
(23:41):
I accepted that I needed to be amore supportive partner.
I needed to speak more lifeinto the person that I am trying
to create a life with and notsit there and bash them every
five seconds for every thingthat they do wrong, because I do
things wrong all the time andI'm not perfect.
(24:03):
It's really unfair to thinkthat they are the only ones at
fault of everything.
And comparing well, he did that, so I am better.
That's not how a relationshipshould work.
That's not how a marriage wouldwork.
Ultimately, I think that's thegoal is to have a marriage that
would be successful.
(24:23):
So, in light of the truth thatyou're receiving, one thing I
also try to do is think arethere other truths that maybe
I've been trying to avoid?
Maybe start looking and seeing.
What are patterns that you have?
What is happening around you?
How are you contributing tosituations in your life?
Maybe make some apologies.
Maybe accept the wrongs thatyou have done, implement changes
(24:47):
little ones.
Let's start new patterns.
It's simple things that lead tohuge outcomes.
Just for me, listening tosomething inspirational in the
morning, it has completelychanged the course of my day.
And that started that littlebit because it was easier to
just put it on in the car, andthen it progressed to now I
(25:10):
journal, pick up my Bible and doBible study first thing in the
morning.
That was like improvement timesa thousand for me.
You, just as you go, youprogress.
If you're trying to lose weight, you start walking 10, 15
minutes a day.
Next thing you know you're likerunning marathons, like it's
just the small changes that leadto huge things.
(25:32):
When you hear the truth, howdoes it affect how you view
yourself?
Does it affect something thatyou viewed as something like
positive about yourself?
At that point you might want togo ahead and think is this
positive, truly a positive?
Because you can think that youare confident, but maybe it's
not real confidence, it's justyou're prideful and cocky.
(25:54):
Obviously, then, that'ssomething you would need to go
ahead and adjust Again.
No one should be able to hurtthe person that you are, that
you feel secure in and rooted,that you feel like you are
establishing.
So if someone comes up to me andtells me that I'm not a very
kind person or that I'm notcompassionate, that would be a
(26:15):
laughable truth to me, because Iknow for a fact that I would
give my last to somebody thatneeded it and I've always wanted
to help other people.
I wouldn't want my worst enemyin the situations that I've been
in my life before.
That would just be absurd to meto hear that and I would be
able to be secure in who I amenough to just move past that
(26:39):
and it would not affect me inany way.
If someone told me you're crazy, I would feel somewhat
triggered.
Obviously not if it's like afriend or my kids or you know if
it's a jokingly way, but I meanif someone basically attacked
me for the way that I think orif I say something, and of
course that's's because of Ideal with mental illness, not
(27:00):
necessarily because it's true,it's just it's a sensitive
subject for me.
To wrap this up, just rememberthat when you start to become
grounded in who you truly are,who you're working towards, you
have absolute confidence thatyou are taking the steps, that
you are doing your very best tobecome this person, or that you
(27:21):
are doing your best to maintainwhat you are, or that you're
doing your very best andmaintaining or where you've
gotten.
At this point there is no quote, unquote truth that could shake
that.
I have had the hardest timewith people saying things to me
(27:42):
from my past that they want tocome back and kind of
incorporate into my presentseason.
It's frustrating, I will tellyou right now.
It gets really exhaustingbecause you're like you're
almost like annoyed that yourpast keeps getting like brought
into.
You know your face when you'vebeen working so hard.
(28:03):
But I had to like truly justthink and not that I don't care
or listen to people's advice,but advice is the amount of
skill that that person has andthe amount that they know.
Nobody knows you better thanyourself.
As you become more confident inwhat you're doing, as you are
more sure of who you are, youwon't even have to see the
(28:25):
difference between a truth andyour past.
So, to resolve the debatebetween my friend and I yes, you
should consider the source, nodoubt.
However, that is not the firstor second thing that you should
consider.
We need to be our own source.
Just because someone saidsomething to us in a crappy way
(28:45):
or with ill intention, ordoesn't mean it to help better
you, doesn't mean that it's notsomething you can take and learn
from and grow and improveyourself.
Like they just did you a favor,they gave you something you
didn't have before, which wasthe knowledge of something that
you couldn't see by yourself.
And, the same token, justbecause someone that you love
(29:08):
and you care about, that youfeel like cares about you.
Tells you something that theyfeel is true doesn't make it
real.
People have their ownperception of the truth.
They have their owninsecurities and ideas of all of
us.
We all have a perception aboutother people, even those that we
love, that doesn't make it real.
You are the one that candetermine how much truth there
(29:30):
is to something that someone istelling you, but you have to be
honest with yourself.
You have to really think aboutwhat is being said and how it
makes you feel.
If maybe you're unsure aboutsomething that you heard and
I've had situations where I'veheard things that I am not sure
if I am doing or that I haven'timproved, or maybe it's even
that I haven't improved them allthe way and I still need to
(29:53):
work harder on that specificthing I will pray and I will ask
for guidance.
Maybe you don't pray, maybejournal it out, but really try
to like dig deep within yourself.
Some truths are harder toaccept and they're going to take
longer.
You might not take care of itright then and there, but at
(30:13):
least you have some awareness ofit and you can go back to it
when you're ready.
You don't have to face it atthat moment.
There are some truths that Ihaven't faced up to this point
and I'm not so sure when I'mgoing to face them, and that's
okay.
You aren't on anyone else'stimeline or any truth.
This is your journey.
You can work on each thing atthe time that you feel most
(30:35):
comfortable to do that, becausesome of them will take strength
and some of them will takecourage.
It can be a lot.
It can take a toll on you.
Be kind and patient withyourself and just take your time
and accepting and working on it.
No step is going to be toosmall.
I'm going to go ahead and endwith thank y'all again for
(30:55):
listening, being here with me.
I am really excited to moveforward, be able to just be me,
that you guys can feel thatyou're loved and that you're not
alone in this and in the waysthat you feel or like the things
you're going through.
We all are going through stuff.
I think it's easier for us tohide away and not share those
(31:18):
things, but truthfully, itchanges.
Whenever you share, you get itout.
You're not like carrying thisheavy burden around anymore by
yourself.
So even if you're just sharingit with me, I appreciate that.
I love y'all.
I pray that you're going tohave a great rest of your week.
Good weekend.
I will most definitely beputting on an episode next week.
(31:42):
I will continue on with theTikToks and the reels and all
that good stuff.
Truly miss doing them.
I love being able to justspread the love around if you're
having a rough day, because itmakes my rough day go a little
bit less rough.
Just remember you are loved,you're enough and you're never
alone.
Until next time.
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