March 4, 2025 • 19 mins
As chefs, we often find ourselves caught in a relentless cycle of comparison. Whether it's scrolling through social media, eyeing our peers' accolades, or feeling the pressure to outperform, this habit can silently erode our confidence, stifle our creativity, and rob us of joy in our craft.
"The only chef you should be competing with is the one you were yesterday." - Adam Lamb
In this episode of Chef Life Radio, we're pulling back the curtain on the comparison trap that plagues so many culinary professionals. We'll explore how this mindset not only impacts our personal well-being but also affects team dynamics and kitchen culture.
Breaking Free from the Comparison Trap
We'll dive into actionable strategies to help you:
• Redefine success on your own terms
• Cultivate gratitude and self-reflection
• Use comparison as inspiration rather than judgment
• Manage social media consumption effectively
Key Takeaways:
1. Understand how comparison undermines confidence and creativity
2. Learn to celebrate your unique journey and contributions
3. Discover techniques to foster a collaborative kitchen culture
4. Develop a growth mindset focused on personal improvement
This episode offers a fresh perspective on thriving in the culinary world without falling prey to the comparison game.
You'll gain insights on how to lead with authenticity, nurture your passion, and create a fulfilling career that aligns with your values.
Whether you're a seasoned executive chef or an aspiring culinary leader, this discussion will equip you with the tools to break free from comparison and rediscover the joy in your culinary journey.
Ready to reclaim your confidence and creativity in the kitchen?
Tune in and let's start cooking up success—on your own terms.
Stay Tall & Frosty
Adam
Links Mentioned in the Show
- Our Competition | Pier Sixty-Six
- The Kitchen Band | Naked Ambition
- Chef Steve Caputo
- Chef Greg Barnhill
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:04):
Welcome back to the Show Chef.
Ever find yourself scrollingthrough social media wondering
why you're not achieving the sameaccolades or recognition as others?
Does the pressure to outperformyour peers leave you feeling
drained, uninspired, or inadequate?
Are you secretly worried that you'll nevermeasure up no matter how hard you push?
(00:24):
In today's episode, we're gonna exposehow comparison silently undermines
your confidence, creativity, and joy,and provide actionable strategies
to break you free from its grip.
We'll get to that in a whole lotmore right after this message.
Welcome to Chef Life Radio, the podcastdedicated to helping chefs and culinary
(00:44):
leaders take control of their kitchens,build resilient teams, and create
a thriving career in hospitality.
I'm Chef Adam Lamp, your host,leadership coach, and industry veteran.
If you're tired of high turnover, burnoutand the daily grind, you're not alone.
This podcast is here to give you the realstrategies, insights, and tools you need.
To lead with confidence, build a cultureof excellence and craft a kitchen
(01:07):
that works for you, not against you.
Because the best kitchens don'tjust survive, they thrive.
Hit that subscribe buttonand let's get started.
Welcome back.
We're talking about thrivingin the kitchen and beyond.
Today we're talking about a habitthat plagues way too many chefs.
Comparison.
You know what I'm talking about?
(01:28):
The endless measuring of oursuccess against someone else's.
The constant pressure to bebetter, faster, more creative.
But here's the kicker,comparison is a thief.
It steals your confidence,your creativity, and most
importantly, your joy.
So let's break this down andtalk about how to stop sabotaging
ourselves in an industry thatthrives on competition thrive.
(01:52):
The culinary industryis built on comparison.
Every service we're judged bycritics, guests, and online reviews.
Social media makes it worse,seeing perfectly plated dishes.
Michelin starred kitchens andchefs getting recognition that
we crave the competitive natureof kitchens fuels this mindset.
(02:13):
Someone is always younger, faster,or seemingly more successful,
but the problem is that constantcomparison creates imposter syndrome.
Am I good enough?
Do I have what it takes?
It turns learning into acompetition instead of a process.
It makes it impossible to celebrate ourown wins because we're always looking at
(02:35):
someone else's and that fucking sucks.
And if you believe that story feelslike shit, but is that the story?
It's one thing if you're comparingyourself to somebody that you see in the
media, but the weirdest thing is whenyou start comparing yourself to your
best friend, which let's face it, is anoccupational hazard for over 20 years.
(02:57):
I compared myself to a guy who I oncehired as my sous chef and as he climbed
the ranks and became a chef in his ownright, a great chef, I started to watch
him from afar and compared myself to him.
Our competition went back just asfar at one point, we used to send
dishes back and forth to one anotherin a cab for each of us to critique.
(03:22):
I. While the competition felt goodnatured, at one point, as our careers
started to diverge, I started using thatas a point of comparison, trying to figure
out what he was doing, why he was gettingthe accolades that he was receiving,
and to judge my career against his,when in fact our lives became different.
(03:45):
What was important to him becamedifferent than what was important to me.
I didn't understand it so much later thatthose choices came with certain costs.
Was I willing to pay thesame price that he did?
Then I finally understood that as longas I envied him, I wasn't spending
any time trying to make my careerbetter or to live in my choices.
(04:08):
Basically comparison was a great excusefrom being fully where I was, having what
I had and creating gratitude around that,which my life was, instead of constantly
hoping that it would be something else.
And once I got to this space whereI could authentically celebrate his
wins as well as my own, that's whenI understood what true power was.
(04:33):
The power to make a positive choice inmy life and my career moving forward
free of comparing myself to anybody.
Who do you compete against?
Who do you compare yourself against?
Who do you silently envy wishingthat their life or career was yours?
The damage comparison causes, well,first and foremost, burnout and anxiety.
(04:55):
You're feeling like you're always behind,creates an unsustainable work ethic.
Pushing yourself harder and harderwithout real purpose except to go
deeper in the grind, pedal faster,and instead of improving for the
sake of growth, you start chasingvalidation from those around you.
I'll be the first one to admit thatvalidation feels good, but if that is
your motivation for anything that you'redoing, except for the pure joy of the
(05:18):
process of being present to the magicthat's happening right in front of you,
once you replace that with hoping thatpeople are gonna acknowledge the fact
that you've been working really hardat this and giving you that validation
back then that is a bear trap yourheart will never ever get out of.
Because here's the simple truth.
If you're looking for anyone, even otherchefs to appreciate how much of you you
(05:42):
are putting into what you do, then that'sa fool's errand because no one will be
able to appreciate everything that you'vedone in order to produce what you do.
So expecting other people to understandthat and appreciate that when they don't
know is really a fool's errand and you'reasking to get let down every single time.
(06:03):
Comparison is a creativity killer.
Constantly measuringyourself against others.
Stifles risk taking and originality.
Instead of experimenting, you worryabout whether your dish is good
enough to compare with others.
You're caught in a paralysis of analysisand you never quite get on with that
which is presenting itself to youbecause you're always worried about how
(06:24):
other people are going to interpret it.
Will they accept it?
Is it gonna be good enough for them?
Again, placing your validation overthere with them instead of here with you,
your heart and your brain in concert.
Connected to the process of creativity.
Comparison also breaks down team culture.
Comparison doesn't just hurt you.
It affects how you see your peers andeventually how they start seeing you.
(06:48):
It turns colleagues intocompetitors creating tension
rather than collaboration.
And in.
Regards to me and my best friend.
I spent years holding him injudgment that his career was
doing so much better than mine.
And that secret thing that I heldagainst him, he must have known,
even though I didn't say it outloud, because that energy was
present every time we connected.
And to have to release that,because what I came to understand
(07:10):
is I valued his friendship.
The Messai tribe in Africahave a saying that only a spear
can sharpen another spear.
And while I appreciate it andbenefited from our competitiveness,
what I recognize is that's exhaustingto be doing that all the time.
I just wanted to drop my spear andjust give 'em a hug and just be friends
and, uh, not have that between us.
(07:32):
And that was my decision becauseI had to let that go because it
hurt my heart to do otherwise.
The last way it breaks downteam culture is it starts to
become a toxic kitchen culture.
When chefs feel like they'reconstantly being ranked.
Instead of being valued for theirunique contributions, I once worked
at a restaurant on a hotel property.
(07:54):
They closed that restaurant down.
They let go of the chef of thehotel and then asked me, well,
chef, you're out of a job now.
Would you like another job?
And so they put me in competitionwith the banquet chef to see who would
become the chef overall of the property.
And that was a miserable.
Six weeks of us trying to outdo oneanother and be seen as having the
(08:15):
capacity to lead, uh, the entire teamof this hotel until such time as they
made a decision, put me in charge.
And it turned out that that animositycould have killed that relationship
between me and the banquet chef Instead,laughingly, uh, for a Christmas party,
we put a band together and 15 yearslater we were still making music.
(08:35):
So I'm really, really thankful that, uh.
That we were able to come together andheal the breach that existed within
that team culture and build thatteam even better than it was before.
But I couldn't have doneit without his help.
Not all organizations can go throughthat type of competition and not
completely lose their team cohesion,which is the most critical part of
(08:59):
any successful culinary operation.
How to escape the comparison trap.
Well, number one.
Redefine success on your own terms.
Instead of comparing your chapter twoto someone else's, chapter 10, define
what success looks like for you.
This is one of the first steps Itake with all my coaching clients
in order to understand and deeplyembody what your core values are,
(09:24):
what your goals and your mission is.
It's really important to spend some timedoing an imagination practice called
Your Perfect Day, and that is imaginingyour life one year from now, three
years from now, five years from now.
And it's one thing to say.
I open up a food truck.
It's another thing altogether to spendsome time thinking about that, connecting
with the emotions, and then write it down.
(09:46):
And the best way to do that isimagine your perfect day in that life.
You wake up, you do what?
What's the next thing?
How do you feel whenyou're having breakfast?
You're spending time with your kids?
What's the next step?
What's next step?
You write that out as your perfectday, and what you're actually
doing is you're future projectingwhat your life will be like.
(10:07):
At whatever point in your future, butit starts you down the road of defining
like, what's, what is success to me?
Is it money?
Is it accolades?
Is it family time?
What is it that matters most to me?
Because conversely, then that becomesyour non-negotiable core values.
Those are the things that you're notwilling to bartter away just for a job.
(10:31):
Is it leading a happy, high performingteam, running a sustainable kitchen,
having balance in your life?
The only chef you should be competingwith is the one you were yesterday.
I constantly talk about the 1% way,which is to say, today I'm gonna
be 1% better than I was yesterday.
(10:51):
That.
Is my only goal 1% better than I wasyesterday because in reality, that
is the only outcome that you havepower over that you can influence.
You can't influence someone else'slife, but you can certainly influence
the person that you're gonna betomorrow based upon your thoughts,
feelings, and actions of today.
That's why it doesn't matter what youroutside circumstances look like today,
(11:14):
tomorrow can be completely differentif you're focused on what that is and
creating an energy around it that ishigher than your present circumstance.
I know that's a little bit of mumbo jumboquantum mechanic stuff, but it's true.
The shit works.
Define what is your perfect day.
Write it out.
Put that in a piece of paper, put it away,and come back to it next year and see just
(11:36):
how close you came to achieving all thoseincredibly important emotional points.
Not necessarily what you do, but it'sthe emotion that's attached to what
you do that will redefine your success.
Point number two, practice gratitudeand reflection At the end of each
(11:56):
shift, instead of asking, did Ioutperform someone, try asking, what
did I do well today, what did I learn?
How did I contribute to the team?
Lastly, before you go to bed, make surethat you have a journal next to your bed.
And the last thing you do beforeyou go to sleep is write down three
things that you're grateful for.
Everybody can find threethings to be grateful for.
(12:19):
I got up this morning.
I. There's some people in the world thatdidn't do that today, that you could
breathe freely, that you could put youruniform on, that you had transportation.
There are three things in everyone'slife that you can, that they can
write down, and once they write thatdown, reflect on that and actually
experience gratitude for those things.
Because here's the thing, once youstart shifting your perspective to
(12:41):
looking for things to be gratefulfor, conversely, you'll find
more things to be grateful for.
It's weird the way that works, right?
Number three, use comparisonas inspiration, not judgment.
Instead of why am I not as good asthem ask, what can I learn from them?
I remember looking at my buddy's menusand being completely perplexed about
(13:05):
some of the stuff that he was putting on.
I mean, I understood the dishes,but I was like thinking about
process and how you do it.
He was the first guy I ever knew that didSu V and I was calling him for months.
Trying to figure out how to do whathe did, not to replicate what he
did, but to use those same principlesand processes in what I was doing,
how I can incorporate those things.
And it became a point of celebrationand inspiration instead of me looking
(13:29):
at it, which I had previously done,and go, shit, man, I'll never do that.
Reach out, collaborate, ask questions.
Chefs you admire are moreapproachable than you think.
All it takes is a dm. See himon Instagram dm. Hey, listen,
I've been following your work.
Really love this.
Have a question.
You got time.
Question mark.
No one is that unapproachable that theycan't spend a couple minutes connecting
(13:52):
with somebody who's authentically tryingto connect with them instead of just
trying to get something out of it.
Right?
It's always important to make sure thatyou bring value to that conversation and
figure out how you can recompense themfor any value that you receive from them.
Right?
Number four, limit thesocial media spiral.
(14:13):
Oh my God.
So in my new book that's comingout, I talk about the, the 1% way,
and I talk about the narrow pathas a process for which development
can happen spontaneously.
And one of the things is on a narrowpath, what you do is you limit
anything that is not directly, uh,relatable to your particular goal.
(14:33):
And a lot of that is.
Trim it down, your social media,turning off your notifications.
I mean, time and time again.
If you look through your day, you can findso many things that are a distraction from
you and take you off your present task.
And here's a littlebit of science for you.
They call it context switching.
If you're doing one thing and you'redeep in that hole and you are a grooving
(14:53):
on that thing, and someone asks yousomething and pulls you away from that
task to do another thing, it can takeyou up to two to four hours before you
can refocus in on that previous task.
Get in it.
That's why it's so important to timeblock and make sure that you're doing
things within a certain time blockso you can focus deeply on that.
And then after that time block startfocused deeply on another thing.
(15:14):
Recognize that what you seeon online is a highlight reel.
I want you to understand that what yousee online, whether it's Instagram,
Facebook, I don't care where youlook, that's a highlight reel.
That's not the full story.
Very rarely is anybody posting aboutwhat it's like to actually create this
particular dish, but there are someabsolutely stunning pictures of the
(15:36):
dish afterwards, which leaves me inparticular, I'll just speak for myself,
wondering like how the hell they did that?
And conversely gives me an idea of like,shit, I probably can't do that again.
That's what means by stifling creativity.
And after a while you get a badcase of the fuck its, well, I'll
never be that good, so fuck it.
Why try?
Following certain accounts makes youfeel worse about yourself than others.
(16:01):
It's time to unfollow them.
Again, it comes back to using comparisonas an inspiration, not as judgment.
And I know that's easy to say and hardto do, but if you want to stay present
to where you're at in your developmentsuch that nothing stands in your way.
(16:21):
Then you are gonna have to disassociateyourself from anything that makes you
feel like shit or tries to convinceyou that you're not good enough.
And let's face it, we all have thatvoice inside our heads that is always
telling us that we're not good enough.
But that voice is justthe voice of our ego.
It's a protective mechanism.
And.
(16:42):
The story that it'stelling is not the truth.
It's just a story.
And when you can identify withit as just a story, not right,
not wrong, just a story, you canhave a different perspective.
Thank you for sharing.
Fuck you, for caring, and not take itas the little truth of who you are, what
you're, what you're capable of producing.
(17:04):
Listen, chef comparison willalways be part of this industry.
It's built into the way wework, train, and compete.
But it's up to you whether you'dlet it drive you or destroy you
instead of looking sideways.
Look forward instead of measuringyourself against others.
Measure how far you have come today.
I challenge you to catch yourselfthe next time comparison creeps in.
(17:26):
I want you to take a deepbreath and remind yourself
your journey is yours alone.
Keep pushing forward, keeplearning, and most of all, keep.
Keep cooking with passion.
Here's your action steps.
Number one, identify one waycomparison has been holding you back.
Number two, set a personal goalbased on growth, not competition.
(17:51):
Number three, celebrate one.
Small win today, no matter how minor.
And number four, at the endof the day, write down three
things that you're grateful for.
If this episode resonated with you, shareit with a fellow chef, and if you're
ready to reclaim your passion, purpose,and process in the kitchen, hit subscribe
(18:12):
and let's keep the conversation going.
Until next time, stay tall and frosty.
That's a wrap for today'sepisode of Chef Life Radio.
If this resonated with you, do me a favor,subscribe, share, and leave a review.
Your feedback helps us reach moreculinary leaders like you who are ready
(18:33):
to take their kitchens to the next level.
Want more connect with me onLinkedIn, Instagram, or join our Chef
Life Radio community for exclusiveinsights and leadership tools.
Remember, leadershipisn't about perfection.
It's about progress.
So take what you've learned todayand apply it in your kitchen,
your team, and your life.
Chef Life Radio is more thanjust a podcast, it's a movement.
(18:54):
The focus is no longer just on careersurvival, but on transforming leadership,
creating sustainability, and ensuringchefs can build kitchens that thrive.
Remember, the secret ingredientto culinary success isn't just in
the food, it's in the leadership.
Keep learning, keepgrowing, and as always.
Lead with the heart.
See you next time.
Welcome back to the Show Chef.
Ever find yourself scrollingthrough social media wondering
why you're not achieving the sameaccolades or recognition as others?
Does the pressure to outperformyour peers leave you feeling
drained, uninspired, or inadequate?
Are you secretly worried that you'll nevermeasure up no matter how hard you push?
(00:24):
In today's episode, we're gonna exposehow comparison silently undermines
your confidence, creativity, and joy,and provide actionable strategies
to break you free from its grip.
We'll get to that in a whole lotmore right after this message.
Welcome to Chef Life Radio, the podcastdedicated to helping chefs and culinary
(00:44):
leaders take control of their kitchens,build resilient teams, and create
a thriving career in hospitality.
I'm Chef Adam Lamp, your host,leadership coach, and industry veteran.
If you're tired of high turnover, burnoutand the daily grind, you're not alone.
This podcast is here to give you the realstrategies, insights, and tools you need.
To lead with confidence, build a cultureof excellence and craft a kitchen
(01:07):
that works for you, not against you.
Because the best kitchens don'tjust survive, they thrive.
Hit that subscribe buttonand let's get started.
Welcome back.
We're talking about thrivingin the kitchen and beyond.
Today we're talking about a habitthat plagues way too many chefs.
Comparison.
You know what I'm talking about?
(01:28):
The endless measuring of oursuccess against someone else's.
The constant pressure to bebetter, faster, more creative.
But here's the kicker,comparison is a thief.
It steals your confidence,your creativity, and most
importantly, your joy.
So let's break this down andtalk about how to stop sabotaging
ourselves in an industry thatthrives on competition thrive.
(01:52):
The culinary industryis built on comparison.
Every service we're judged bycritics, guests, and online reviews.
Social media makes it worse,seeing perfectly plated dishes.
Michelin starred kitchens andchefs getting recognition that
we crave the competitive natureof kitchens fuels this mindset.
(02:13):
Someone is always younger, faster,or seemingly more successful,
but the problem is that constantcomparison creates imposter syndrome.
Am I good enough?
Do I have what it takes?
It turns learning into acompetition instead of a process.
It makes it impossible to celebrate ourown wins because we're always looking at
(02:35):
someone else's and that fucking sucks.
And if you believe that story feelslike shit, but is that the story?
It's one thing if you're comparingyourself to somebody that you see in the
media, but the weirdest thing is whenyou start comparing yourself to your
best friend, which let's face it, is anoccupational hazard for over 20 years.
(02:57):
I compared myself to a guy who I oncehired as my sous chef and as he climbed
the ranks and became a chef in his ownright, a great chef, I started to watch
him from afar and compared myself to him.
Our competition went back just asfar at one point, we used to send
dishes back and forth to one anotherin a cab for each of us to critique.
(03:22):
I. While the competition felt goodnatured, at one point, as our careers
started to diverge, I started using thatas a point of comparison, trying to figure
out what he was doing, why he was gettingthe accolades that he was receiving,
and to judge my career against his,when in fact our lives became different.
(03:45):
What was important to him becamedifferent than what was important to me.
I didn't understand it so much later thatthose choices came with certain costs.
Was I willing to pay thesame price that he did?
Then I finally understood that as longas I envied him, I wasn't spending
any time trying to make my careerbetter or to live in my choices.
(04:08):
Basically comparison was a great excusefrom being fully where I was, having what
I had and creating gratitude around that,which my life was, instead of constantly
hoping that it would be something else.
And once I got to this space whereI could authentically celebrate his
wins as well as my own, that's whenI understood what true power was.
(04:33):
The power to make a positive choice inmy life and my career moving forward
free of comparing myself to anybody.
Who do you compete against?
Who do you compare yourself against?
Who do you silently envy wishingthat their life or career was yours?
The damage comparison causes, well,first and foremost, burnout and anxiety.
(04:55):
You're feeling like you're always behind,creates an unsustainable work ethic.
Pushing yourself harder and harderwithout real purpose except to go
deeper in the grind, pedal faster,and instead of improving for the
sake of growth, you start chasingvalidation from those around you.
I'll be the first one to admit thatvalidation feels good, but if that is
your motivation for anything that you'redoing, except for the pure joy of the
(05:18):
process of being present to the magicthat's happening right in front of you,
once you replace that with hoping thatpeople are gonna acknowledge the fact
that you've been working really hardat this and giving you that validation
back then that is a bear trap yourheart will never ever get out of.
Because here's the simple truth.
If you're looking for anyone, even otherchefs to appreciate how much of you you
(05:42):
are putting into what you do, then that'sa fool's errand because no one will be
able to appreciate everything that you'vedone in order to produce what you do.
So expecting other people to understandthat and appreciate that when they don't
know is really a fool's errand and you'reasking to get let down every single time.
(06:03):
Comparison is a creativity killer.
Constantly measuringyourself against others.
Stifles risk taking and originality.
Instead of experimenting, you worryabout whether your dish is good
enough to compare with others.
You're caught in a paralysis of analysisand you never quite get on with that
which is presenting itself to youbecause you're always worried about how
(06:24):
other people are going to interpret it.
Will they accept it?
Is it gonna be good enough for them?
Again, placing your validation overthere with them instead of here with you,
your heart and your brain in concert.
Connected to the process of creativity.
Comparison also breaks down team culture.
Comparison doesn't just hurt you.
It affects how you see your peers andeventually how they start seeing you.
(06:48):
It turns colleagues intocompetitors creating tension
rather than collaboration.
And in.
Regards to me and my best friend.
I spent years holding him injudgment that his career was
doing so much better than mine.
And that secret thing that I heldagainst him, he must have known,
even though I didn't say it outloud, because that energy was
present every time we connected.
And to have to release that,because what I came to understand
(07:10):
is I valued his friendship.
The Messai tribe in Africahave a saying that only a spear
can sharpen another spear.
And while I appreciate it andbenefited from our competitiveness,
what I recognize is that's exhaustingto be doing that all the time.
I just wanted to drop my spear andjust give 'em a hug and just be friends
and, uh, not have that between us.
(07:32):
And that was my decision becauseI had to let that go because it
hurt my heart to do otherwise.
The last way it breaks downteam culture is it starts to
become a toxic kitchen culture.
When chefs feel like they'reconstantly being ranked.
Instead of being valued for theirunique contributions, I once worked
at a restaurant on a hotel property.
(07:54):
They closed that restaurant down.
They let go of the chef of thehotel and then asked me, well,
chef, you're out of a job now.
Would you like another job?
And so they put me in competitionwith the banquet chef to see who would
become the chef overall of the property.
And that was a miserable.
Six weeks of us trying to outdo oneanother and be seen as having the
(08:15):
capacity to lead, uh, the entire teamof this hotel until such time as they
made a decision, put me in charge.
And it turned out that that animositycould have killed that relationship
between me and the banquet chef Instead,laughingly, uh, for a Christmas party,
we put a band together and 15 yearslater we were still making music.
(08:35):
So I'm really, really thankful that, uh.
That we were able to come together andheal the breach that existed within
that team culture and build thatteam even better than it was before.
But I couldn't have doneit without his help.
Not all organizations can go throughthat type of competition and not
completely lose their team cohesion,which is the most critical part of
(08:59):
any successful culinary operation.
How to escape the comparison trap.
Well, number one.
Redefine success on your own terms.
Instead of comparing your chapter twoto someone else's, chapter 10, define
what success looks like for you.
This is one of the first steps Itake with all my coaching clients
in order to understand and deeplyembody what your core values are,
(09:24):
what your goals and your mission is.
It's really important to spend some timedoing an imagination practice called
Your Perfect Day, and that is imaginingyour life one year from now, three
years from now, five years from now.
And it's one thing to say.
I open up a food truck.
It's another thing altogether to spendsome time thinking about that, connecting
with the emotions, and then write it down.
(09:46):
And the best way to do that isimagine your perfect day in that life.
You wake up, you do what?
What's the next thing?
How do you feel whenyou're having breakfast?
You're spending time with your kids?
What's the next step?
What's next step?
You write that out as your perfectday, and what you're actually
doing is you're future projectingwhat your life will be like.
(10:07):
At whatever point in your future, butit starts you down the road of defining
like, what's, what is success to me?
Is it money?
Is it accolades?
Is it family time?
What is it that matters most to me?
Because conversely, then that becomesyour non-negotiable core values.
Those are the things that you're notwilling to bartter away just for a job.
(10:31):
Is it leading a happy, high performingteam, running a sustainable kitchen,
having balance in your life?
The only chef you should be competingwith is the one you were yesterday.
I constantly talk about the 1% way,which is to say, today I'm gonna
be 1% better than I was yesterday.
(10:51):
That.
Is my only goal 1% better than I wasyesterday because in reality, that
is the only outcome that you havepower over that you can influence.
You can't influence someone else'slife, but you can certainly influence
the person that you're gonna betomorrow based upon your thoughts,
feelings, and actions of today.
That's why it doesn't matter what youroutside circumstances look like today,
(11:14):
tomorrow can be completely differentif you're focused on what that is and
creating an energy around it that ishigher than your present circumstance.
I know that's a little bit of mumbo jumboquantum mechanic stuff, but it's true.
The shit works.
Define what is your perfect day.
Write it out.
Put that in a piece of paper, put it away,and come back to it next year and see just
(11:36):
how close you came to achieving all thoseincredibly important emotional points.
Not necessarily what you do, but it'sthe emotion that's attached to what
you do that will redefine your success.
Point number two, practice gratitudeand reflection At the end of each
(11:56):
shift, instead of asking, did Ioutperform someone, try asking, what
did I do well today, what did I learn?
How did I contribute to the team?
Lastly, before you go to bed, make surethat you have a journal next to your bed.
And the last thing you do beforeyou go to sleep is write down three
things that you're grateful for.
Everybody can find threethings to be grateful for.
(12:19):
I got up this morning.
I. There's some people in the world thatdidn't do that today, that you could
breathe freely, that you could put youruniform on, that you had transportation.
There are three things in everyone'slife that you can, that they can
write down, and once they write thatdown, reflect on that and actually
experience gratitude for those things.
Because here's the thing, once youstart shifting your perspective to
(12:41):
looking for things to be gratefulfor, conversely, you'll find
more things to be grateful for.
It's weird the way that works, right?
Number three, use comparisonas inspiration, not judgment.
Instead of why am I not as good asthem ask, what can I learn from them?
I remember looking at my buddy's menusand being completely perplexed about
(13:05):
some of the stuff that he was putting on.
I mean, I understood the dishes,but I was like thinking about
process and how you do it.
He was the first guy I ever knew that didSu V and I was calling him for months.
Trying to figure out how to do whathe did, not to replicate what he
did, but to use those same principlesand processes in what I was doing,
how I can incorporate those things.
And it became a point of celebrationand inspiration instead of me looking
(13:29):
at it, which I had previously done,and go, shit, man, I'll never do that.
Reach out, collaborate, ask questions.
Chefs you admire are moreapproachable than you think.
All it takes is a dm. See himon Instagram dm. Hey, listen,
I've been following your work.
Really love this.
Have a question.
You got time.
Question mark.
No one is that unapproachable that theycan't spend a couple minutes connecting
(13:52):
with somebody who's authentically tryingto connect with them instead of just
trying to get something out of it.
Right?
It's always important to make sure thatyou bring value to that conversation and
figure out how you can recompense themfor any value that you receive from them.
Right?
Number four, limit thesocial media spiral.
(14:13):
Oh my God.
So in my new book that's comingout, I talk about the, the 1% way,
and I talk about the narrow pathas a process for which development
can happen spontaneously.
And one of the things is on a narrowpath, what you do is you limit
anything that is not directly, uh,relatable to your particular goal.
(14:33):
And a lot of that is.
Trim it down, your social media,turning off your notifications.
I mean, time and time again.
If you look through your day, you can findso many things that are a distraction from
you and take you off your present task.
And here's a littlebit of science for you.
They call it context switching.
If you're doing one thing and you'redeep in that hole and you are a grooving
(14:53):
on that thing, and someone asks yousomething and pulls you away from that
task to do another thing, it can takeyou up to two to four hours before you
can refocus in on that previous task.
Get in it.
That's why it's so important to timeblock and make sure that you're doing
things within a certain time blockso you can focus deeply on that.
And then after that time block startfocused deeply on another thing.
(15:14):
Recognize that what you seeon online is a highlight reel.
I want you to understand that what yousee online, whether it's Instagram,
Facebook, I don't care where youlook, that's a highlight reel.
That's not the full story.
Very rarely is anybody posting aboutwhat it's like to actually create this
particular dish, but there are someabsolutely stunning pictures of the
(15:36):
dish afterwards, which leaves me inparticular, I'll just speak for myself,
wondering like how the hell they did that?
And conversely gives me an idea of like,shit, I probably can't do that again.
That's what means by stifling creativity.
And after a while you get a badcase of the fuck its, well, I'll
never be that good, so fuck it.
Why try?
Following certain accounts makes youfeel worse about yourself than others.
(16:01):
It's time to unfollow them.
Again, it comes back to using comparisonas an inspiration, not as judgment.
And I know that's easy to say and hardto do, but if you want to stay present
to where you're at in your developmentsuch that nothing stands in your way.
(16:21):
Then you are gonna have to disassociateyourself from anything that makes you
feel like shit or tries to convinceyou that you're not good enough.
And let's face it, we all have thatvoice inside our heads that is always
telling us that we're not good enough.
But that voice is justthe voice of our ego.
It's a protective mechanism.
And.
(16:42):
The story that it'stelling is not the truth.
It's just a story.
And when you can identify withit as just a story, not right,
not wrong, just a story, you canhave a different perspective.
Thank you for sharing.
Fuck you, for caring, and not take itas the little truth of who you are, what
you're, what you're capable of producing.
(17:04):
Listen, chef comparison willalways be part of this industry.
It's built into the way wework, train, and compete.
But it's up to you whether you'dlet it drive you or destroy you
instead of looking sideways.
Look forward instead of measuringyourself against others.
Measure how far you have come today.
I challenge you to catch yourselfthe next time comparison creeps in.
(17:26):
I want you to take a deepbreath and remind yourself
your journey is yours alone.
Keep pushing forward, keeplearning, and most of all, keep.
Keep cooking with passion.
Here's your action steps.
Number one, identify one waycomparison has been holding you back.
Number two, set a personal goalbased on growth, not competition.
(17:51):
Number three, celebrate one.
Small win today, no matter how minor.
And number four, at the endof the day, write down three
things that you're grateful for.
If this episode resonated with you, shareit with a fellow chef, and if you're
ready to reclaim your passion, purpose,and process in the kitchen, hit subscribe
(18:12):
and let's keep the conversation going.
Until next time, stay tall and frosty.
That's a wrap for today'sepisode of Chef Life Radio.
If this resonated with you, do me a favor,subscribe, share, and leave a review.
Your feedback helps us reach moreculinary leaders like you who are ready
(18:33):
to take their kitchens to the next level.
Want more connect with me onLinkedIn, Instagram, or join our Chef
Life Radio community for exclusiveinsights and leadership tools.
Remember, leadershipisn't about perfection.
It's about progress.
So take what you've learned todayand apply it in your kitchen,
your team, and your life.
Chef Life Radio is more thanjust a podcast, it's a movement.
(18:54):
The focus is no longer just on careersurvival, but on transforming leadership,
creating sustainability, and ensuringchefs can build kitchens that thrive.
Remember, the secret ingredientto culinary success isn't just in
the food, it's in the leadership.
Keep learning, keepgrowing, and as always.
Lead with the heart.
See you next time.
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