Episode Transcript
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(00:05):
Welcome back to the Show Chef.
Have you ever tried to balanceyour work and life like a scale?
Always teetering, adjusting,hoping it won't tip.
Ever feel guilty for workingtoo much or not working enough?
Do you wonder if there's a better wayto find peace, purpose, and performance
in both your kitchen and your life?
Well, you're not alone.
(00:25):
And today we're unpacking thedifference between chasing
balance and cultivating harmony.
We'll get into all of that andmore right after this message.
Welcome to Chef Life Radio, the podcastdedicated to helping chefs and culinary
leaders take control of their kitchens,build resilient teams, and create
(00:45):
a thriving career in hospitality.
I'm Chef Adam Lamb, your host,leadership coach, and industry veteran.
If you're tired of highturnover, I. Burnout and the
daily grind, you're not alone.
This podcast is here to give you thereal strategies, insights, and tools you
need to lead with confidence, build aculture of excellence and craft a kitchen
that works for you, not against you.
(01:06):
Because the best kitchens don'tjust survive, they thrive.
Hit that subscribe buttonand let's get started.
Work-life balance implies equaldistribution in a constant juggling
act where time is measured anddivided like ingredients on a scale.
Always needing to be exact.
It creates an illusion that successin both personal and professional
(01:27):
life requires strict 50 50 alignment.
This mindset leaves many chefs feelinginadequate and guilty, believing they
must constantly choose between workand life, and rarely feeling like
they're succeeding at either work lifeharmony, on the other hand, acknowledges
the unique rhythms of culinary life.
It's not about striving forevenness, but for alignment.
(01:49):
Making sure that the timeand energy you invest.
Wherever you are reflectsyour values and purpose.
Harmony lets you blend your passionfor cooking with your personal life in
a way that feels more fluid and human.
It allows for imperfection.
It gives you permission to show up fullyeven if your hours aren't balanced.
It's about presence, not perfection.
(02:10):
Chasing balance can lead to burnout fromunrealistic expectations while cultivating
harmony builds resilience, clarity, andflow in both your kitchen and your life.
Harmony is about integration,creating a rhythm that works for your
values, goals, and season of life.
The myth of a perfect balance, noday in a chef's life is evenly split.
(02:32):
Harmony allows for dynamic flow.
It's about being fullypresent wherever you are.
The danger of chasing balance isburnout from unrealistic expectations.
Are you trying to keep the scaleseven, or are you creating a life
that actually works for you?
I am sitting on the beachin a longboat key Florida.
My girls are playing in the surf.
(02:53):
My wife is next to me sitting in her sunchair, and I am being dogged by my phone.
It's blowing up because I'mgetting text message after text
message from the guys back at work.
At one point, my wife looks over atme, gives me that side eye, and then
all of a sudden starts packing upand I'm like, what are you doing?
(03:17):
She looks at me and she says, ifthis is what it's gonna be like
now, we might as well go home.
And I felt about this big because Icouldn't create a boundary between
my personal time and my professionaltime, and that really stung.
What made it worse is I let herpack us up and I drove that entire
(03:43):
three hour drive in complete.
Silence.
Knowing that I had failedthe culinary industry doesn't
lend itself to a nine to five.
Schedule it making traditional worklife balance feel out of reach.
For many chefs, the idea of workingeight hours and then clocking
out to enjoy a calm, predictable,personal life is unrealistic.
(04:04):
Ideally.
Chaos, chaos, precision, artistry,and adrenaline, and none of that fits
neatly into a corporate style calendar.
I. This is why the pressure to achievebalance can feel like a setup for failure.
It's not just the hours, it'sthe emotional toll, the physical
demands, and the reality that ourpassion is also our profession.
(04:24):
The traditional work-life balancemodel doesn't account for the fact that
many of us choose this life becausewe love it, even when it's hard.
But that doesn't mean we haveto sacrifice everything else.
Harmony invites us to reimagine success.
Not as escaping work, but integratingour work and life in ways that
feel aligned and sustainable.
It asks not How do I workless, but how do I make my work
(04:48):
and life support each other?
Harmony gives permission forsome days to be work heavy and
others to be deeply restorative.
It replaces guilt with grace, and itstarts by letting go of what doesn't fit
your reality and designing what does.
Harmony is possible even inthis high pressure world.
(05:10):
Long hours split shifts, emotionallabor, how chef life defines traditional
culture, why flexibility and boundariesmatter more than hours worked and
redefining what success looks like.
It's not about clocking out at 5:00PM it's about finding alignment.
Balance is about hours.
Harmony is about energy.
(05:33):
Now that my children are adults, Icarry a certain amount of guilt for
all those times that I wasn't present.
You know, my kids didn't care aboutwhether or not I was a corporate
chef or an executive chef, or whetherI had had this event coming up
or that event coming up for them.
It was about time spent with them.
I. And I gotta say, justbeing there wasn't enough.
(05:54):
There were plenty of Sundays where I waswaking up, groggy, hungover, and just
hating life and being there wasn't enough.
I needed to be present to them.
And that's the magic trick I hadto learn because I recognized that
there was a whole scope of thingsthat were happening around me that
(06:15):
I was completely oblivious to.
So whether I was at work or I wasat home, in both instances, I needed
to be actually present to what wasgoing on so that I could be a full
participant even if there was no balance.
And after struggling and failing orfeeling like I was a failure came upon
this idea of harmony, what would itlook like if I was completely upfront
(06:37):
and honest about what this week?
This month, this quarter was gonna requirefrom me in order to be successful at work
so that I could also be a success at home,because that meant that if everybody was
clear and the boundaries were set when Iwas there, I was fully there ultimately.
The price I paid was one of guilt andshame, and let's be honest, that's a great
(07:01):
story to keep me from actually doing whatI need to do and be present where I'm at.
Because as long as I'm guilty offeeling shame, I'm actually not
present to what is because I'm actuallyliving in the past in that moment.
So I had to figure outa way to release that.
So that I could actually be present in thepresent, and that meant forgetting about
(07:25):
this whole idea about work life balance.
You don't need to split your life evenlyto feel whole Harmony comes from aligning
your choices with your values andrecognizing that a fulfilling life doesn't
require rigid balance, but intentionalintegration harmony means creating a
flow where your work supports your life.
And your life fuels your work.
(07:46):
Instead of constantly switchinghats, you're weaving a fabric or
each thread, chef, parent, partner,friend, creative adds to the
same story, not competes with it.
The key to achieving harmonylies in self-awareness.
You have to know what matters most to youso you can make decisions to support those
values instead of draining your energy.
(08:07):
When you're out of harmony, it shows upas frustration, guilt, or disconnection.
But when you're in sync, you feelpurposeful, energized, and more
grounded no matter how busy life gets.
And I talked earlier about at thatparticular point in your life,
almost every decade from job tojob, your core values, the things
that matter to you will shift.
(08:29):
And so where you might think that workis the most important thing right now,
that might not always be the case.
And to be self-aware enough toknow when that shift happens.
And then to design your life aroundthat, which matters most to you.
In an upscale retirement communitythat I worked at, I promoted the
sous-chef to executive chef, and afterabout six months of mentoring and
(08:49):
coaching, he came to me one day andsaid, I'd like to have my old job back.
I said, what do you mean, man?
Like you're the executive chef now?
He said, yeah, I, I, I don't want the job.
I, I want my sous chef job back.
And I thought for a moment andcouldn't quite understand like
why he was asking me that.
So I said, well, why?
He said, my kids are five and seven.
(09:11):
I want to be there totuck them in at night.
They might not always want meto tuck them into bed, but right
now it's important to them.
So it's important to me.
And I thought to myself, damn, nowthere's someone who understands his
core values and if I'm being honest,made me feel a little bit guilty
that I didn't make that same decisionwhen my kids were five and seven.
(09:34):
So I did what he askedand the executive chef.
Who was underperforming becamea sous chef who was a superstar.
Harmony is a dailypractice, not a destination.
It's about building a lifestylethat's resilient, responsive, and
reflective of who you truly are, notwho the industry says you should be.
(09:55):
Consider these three elementsof work, life harmony.
First thing is identify your core values.
Let them guide your time and energy.
Every single coaching client Ihave, we start with the same process
around identifying your core values.
Because without those, you arecompletely adrift and you're going
from job to job, moment to momentwithout anything really guiding you.
(10:18):
Forward practicing presence.
Be fully in the kitchen at work,fully with your people at home,
and designing the alliance.
It's a phrase I got from friend KristenMarvin, who's an incredible leadership
coach, and she talks about designingthe alliance with her coaching clients.
But I'll bet you any amount of money thatshe sat down and designed the alliance
between her and her husband as well.
(10:40):
And the first thing she wanted to fitin there were the things that were
most important to her, her self-care,her exercise, her mental wellness.
So once you put those big rocksin the jar, then you can fill up
that jar with other smaller rocks.
Designing the routines and ritualsthat create margin and protect energy.
(11:02):
So these are your actionsteps for this episode.
Define what harmony looks like for you,not someone else's version of success.
The easiest way to do that is to geta fresh piece of paper and write out
your perfect day, your ideal day,from the moment you wake up to the
moment you go to bed, because you'regonna end up focusing on those things
(11:24):
that are most important to you.
That's gonna give you a key ondesigning your life, not what you think
is currently possible, but let yourimagination run wild, 'cause that is
going to give you your direction forward.
Audit your week.
Where are you spending your energy?
And does it align withwhat matters most to you?
(11:46):
Write it out like a schedule, like whereyou're spending your time doing what.
This is also gonna give you some insightinto what you are taking on that can
be easily offloaded to somebody else.
This is gonna be workingthat delegation muscle.
You wanna be in your A game, you wannadelegate your B game and your C game to
(12:08):
others whose a game are those things?
And this week create one ritual.
To mark the transition between workand home, I actually created a audio
meditation that I call a middayreset because I recognize that taking
the chef home was not a good thing.
(12:30):
As a matter of fact, my wife Jennifer saidto me one day, you know, as don't work
for you, and I had to pull myself back.
Like, what?
Like you're talking to me likea chef because I didn't create a
boundary between work and going home.
I created this audiomeditation, which you can get.
The link is in the show notes for free.
(12:50):
If it serves you, I want you to have itbecause it's important to create this
space so that you can context switchsuccessfully, finish up work, and
then be the person you want to be at.
Home.
Harmony isn't about balance,it's about intention.
It's not about having equal time.
It's about being in alignment.
(13:13):
If you've been chasing balance andwondering why you feel like you're falling
short, maybe it's time for a new paradigm.
Harmony offers freedom,flexibility, and flow.
It allows you to be the best version ofyourself, both behind the line and beyond
it, 1% better than you were yesterday.
Remember, this industry will takeeverything you give it if you
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don't intentionally carve out aversion of life that works for you.
You'll end up running onempty, burned out, bitter, and
wondering what it's all for.
Harmony doesn't happen by accident.
It's built choice bychoice moment by moment.
And it's not about perfection.
It's about being present.
It's about knowing what mattersand letting that guide the way
(13:58):
you show up in your kitchen, atyour table and in your own mind.
So here's the question.
What would your life look like ifit wasn't split down the middle,
but woven together with intention?
What would it feel like to be in harmony?
And what's one small change you canmake today to move in that direction?
(14:20):
Until next time, stay tall and frosty.
And don't forget the lead with a heart.
That's a wrap for today'sepisode of Chef Life Radio.
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Your feedback helps us reach moreculinary leaders like you who are ready
to take their kitchens to the next level.
(14:42):
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Life Radio community for exclusiveinsights and leadership tools.
Remember, leadershipisn't about perfection.
It's about progress.
So take what you've learned todayand apply it in your kitchen,
your team, and your life.
Chef Life Radio is morethan just a podcast.
It's a movement.
The focus is no longer just on careersurvival, but on transforming leadership,
(15:05):
creating sustainability, and ensuringchefs can build kitchens that thrive.
Remember the secret ingredientto culinary success.
Isn't just in the food,it's in the leadership.
Keep learning, keep growing, andas always, lead with the heart.
See you next time.