April 29, 2025 • 41 mins
In the high-pressure world of culinary arts, finding balance and purpose can be a challenge. As chefs, we often sacrifice our well-being for the sake of our craft. But what if there was a way to maintain our passion while prioritizing our mental and physical health?
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In this episode, I sit down with Chef Nio DiPietrantonio, a culinary professional who's experienced the ups and downs of the industry firsthand. We explore his journey from the intense restaurant scene to a more balanced role in senior living communities, and how this transition sparked a mission to support fellow hospitality workers.
A Shift in Perspective
Chef Nio shares his personal story of burnout and health struggles, including a wake-up call that forced him to reevaluate his career path. We discuss:
• The cultural shock of moving from traditional restaurants to senior living facilities
• Finding purpose and connection in cooking for a different demographic
• Balancing creativity with nutritional needs in healthcare settings
Building a Support Network
Inspired by his experiences, Chef Nio co-founded Serving Up Support Maine, a grassroots organization dedicated to helping hospitality workers. We delve into:
• The genesis of the organization during the pandemic
• Addressing issues like substance abuse, financial struggles, and mental health
• The importance of community and peer support in the industry
Changing the Narrative
Our conversation tackles the broader issues facing the culinary world and how we can work towards positive change:
• Challenging the "badge of honor" mentality around overwork and stress
• The need for leadership and adaptability training in culinary education
• Creating a more sustainable and supportive industry for future generations
This episode offers a candid look at the challenges facing culinary professionals and provides hope for a brighter future. Whether you're a seasoned chef or just starting your culinary journey, you'll find valuable insights on creating a more balanced and fulfilling career in the kitchen.
Key Takeaways:
• The importance of prioritizing mental and physical health in the culinary industry
• How changing work environments can lead to new perspectives and opportunities
• The power of community support in addressing industry-wide challenges
• Strategies for creating a more sustainable and supportive culinary culture
Join us as we explore the path to a healthier, more balanced culinary industry – one chef at a time.
Chapters
00:00 - Introduction to Chef Life Radio
00:17 - Meet Chef Neo DiPietrantonio
00:46 - The Origin of Serving Up Support Maine
01:11 - The Reality of Hospitality Work
04:54 - The Importance of Humility and Learning
07:15 - Struggles and Resilience in the Culinary World
12:34 - Transition to Senior Living Communities
15:04 - Challenges and Rewards of Senior Living Kitchens
21:27 - Balancing Flavor and Nutrition in Cooking
21:50 - Challenges of Working with Nutritionists
24:21 - Creating a Support Network During the Pandemic
26:43 - Founding Serving Up Support
28:48 - Mental Health in the Hospitality Industry
35:15 - The Importance of Leadership and Adaptability
40:12 - Conclusion and Final Thoughts
Stay Tall & Frosty and Lead from the Heart,
Adam
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Adam Lamb (00:04):
Welcome back to the Show Chef.
What if I told you that burnout doesn'thave to be the end of your story, that
you could walk away from the chaos, notin defeat, but with clarity, purpose,
and a deeper connection to your craft?
In this episode of Chef Life Radio, Isit down with Chef Neo DiPietrantonio
but not before completely butchering hername, who went from chasing perfection.
(00:29):
High pressure restaurants torediscovering balance, health and
meaning in the most unexpected atplaces senior living communities.
We talk about what it takes to slowdown without giving up how creativity
and care can coexist and why changingkitchens might just change your life.
We also dive deep into the originof serving up Support Maine, a
(00:50):
grassroots initiative, chef NeoCo-founded to help hospitality workers.
Battling burnout, substance abuseand mental health challenges,
and why it's always true.
That need is the mother of all invention.
Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition.
This is a story about reinvention,resilience, and the radical idea that you
don't have to suffer to prove you care.
(01:11):
Whether you're just getting started inthe industry or you're wondering how much
longer you can hold on this one's for you.
Stick around.
We'll be back with allthat and a whole lot more.
Welcome to Chef Life Radio, the podcastdedicated to helping chefs and culinary
leaders take control of their kitchens,build resilient teams, and create
(01:33):
a thriving career in hospitality.
I'm Chef Adam Lamb, your host,leadership coach, and industry veteran.
If you're tired of high turnover.
Burnout and the dailygrind, you're not alone.
This podcast is here to give you thereal strategies, insights, and tools you
need to lead with confidence, build aculture of excellence and craft a kitchen
that works for you, not against you.
(01:55):
Because the best kitchens don'tjust survive, they thrive.
Hit that subscribe buttonand let's get started.
Hey, chef, real quick.
If you're digging the conversationand you want more tools, insight and
mindset shifts to help you thrive,both in and out of the kitchen.
Make sure you're signed up for therecipe for your success Newsletter
Drops twice a month, totally free.
(02:17):
It's packed with leadership tips,culture building strategies, and
reminders to breathe before the burnout.
Whether you're a head chef, a teamleader, or just trying to figure out
what's next, it's written for you.
Hit the link in the show notes to geton the list and let's succeed together.
And now back to the show
because I'll have to do it again, so
Nio DiPietrantonio (02:35):
no worries.
Adam Lamb (02:39):
Say it one more time again.
Nio DiPietrantonio (02:40):
DiPietrantonio
Adam Lamb (02:42):
dri Dupri.
Nio DiPietrantonio (02:45):
It's ridiculous.
I,
Adam Lamb (02:47):
I know.
I'll say just Chef Nio.
Nio DiPietrantonio (02:50):
That's what everybody else does.
So
Adam Lamb (02:51):
really
Nio DiPietrantonio (02:53):
DiPietrantonio
Adam Lamb (02:56):
DiPietrantonio okay.
Forget it.
I'm, I'm a little tired.
It's not you, it's me.
It's always me.
No, that's
Nio DiPietrantonio (03:02):
fine.
I hear you, brother.
I hear you.
It's been a long day.
Adam Lamb (03:04):
And so, but you didn't even go to work today?
Nio DiPietrantonio (03:07):
I didn't, but unfortunately my mom, she had
a really bad accident at work.
She fell and broke her leg last month.
She's not able to get herselfaround, so I've been taking her to
do like grocery shopping and to herphysical therapy appointments and
doctor's appointments and stuff.
So trying to help her gether life back on track.
Adam Lamb (03:25):
And do you find that, uh, for most of your
life you have been a caretaker?
Nio DiPietrantonio (03:28):
Yes, definitely.
Yes, for sure.
Adam Lamb (03:33):
Oh, it's fantastic.
It's fantastic.
Yeah, it's, I think one of the weirdthings is to actually understand
that we're in a life of service.
Nio DiPietrantonio (03:42):
I would say that's for probably the same for most people in
the hospitality industry and for chefs.
Adam Lamb (03:46):
We
Nio DiPietrantonio (03:46):
give ourselves to people all day long.
Adam Lamb (03:48):
Yeah.
But we hold everybody else injudgment because they don't get it.
Nio DiPietrantonio (03:52):
That's true.
That's true.
Adam Lamb (03:55):
And the thing that I had to come to terms with is
like no one will ever understand.
So why am I expecting them to,
Nio DiPietrantonio (04:01):
at least to encourage the conversation, to have a little
bit of empathy with each other to
Adam Lamb (04:06):
see
Nio DiPietrantonio: where we're coming from. (04:06):
undefined
Adam Lamb (04:07):
Yeah.
That very often gets into, I don'tknow, I spent lots of nights.
Service bars way, way late.
And inevitably the conversationsget to this point where, you know,
the, everybody just wants to bitchand be a victim of the circumstance.
And that would've really hit me isno, I made this choice, so therefore
(04:28):
I have no right complaint about it.
And the cool thing is, islike understanding that I
have the power to change it.
Nio DiPietrantonio (04:35):
We do.
And we did.
I'd say for sure we did choosethe life, but that doesn't mean
that we can't make it better forourselves and for other generations.
Adam Lamb (04:42):
Couldn't agree more.
Couldn't agree more.
So tell me one thing that you wantme to know and tell me one thing
that you don't want me to know.
How about
Nio DiPietrantonio (04:52):
you?
All right.
Let's see.
One thing I want you to know is thatI take a lot of pride in what I do,
but I don't want my pride to everget in the way of learning something.
And that, I think that's easy to do,especially in our industry where we have
a certain body of knowledge and we get toa point where we're like, I know how to do
that, but you also have to learn to holdyourself in a certain level of humility.
Mm-hmm.
(05:12):
And that's something I amvery aware of in myself to.
Take a step back and be like, okay,check your ego and pay attention
to what's going on in front of you.
Adam Lamb (05:23):
It's very admirable for sure because that takes,
Nio DiPietrantonio (05:26):
it's hard,
Adam Lamb (05:27):
a bit of maturity.
That doesn't necessarilyhappen right outta the gate.
Nio DiPietrantonio (05:31):
You have to fall on your face a couple times.
First, first to get there.
Adam Lamb (05:35):
Oh yeah.
That's so much fun.
Nio DiPietrantonio (05:37):
It sure.
Let's call it that.
Adam Lamb (05:40):
And one thing that you don't want us to know about you.
Nio DiPietrantonio (05:43):
I don't want you to know how sensitive I am.
I do take criticism verypersonally, even as I got older.
So I try to be very stone faced whensomeone's saying they don't like something
or something didn't hit well or land well.
And I'll just be like, okay,thank you for the feedback.
But then inside I'm like crying.
I'm sad and I'm like, I'm tryingto put that wall up of like shame
that I had because it didn'tcome out the way I wanted it to.
(06:03):
And it's learning to separate myemotions from my, my aptitude.
And to just to learn from thatexperience and not take it personally.
Adam Lamb (06:13):
Yeah.
I think it's, I think it's a given thatif you're in this life, if you're in
this career, you're already sensitive.
That's true.
It takes a certain bit of sensitivity tobe able to work with, really find products
and the nuances of flavor and be able to.
Have some sort of reverence for where theycame from and where they're gonna be, and
(06:37):
yet we put ourselves out there every day.
It becomes almost like a self-fulfillingfantasy that we want criticism,
even though we don't want it.
Does that make sense?
Nio DiPietrantonio (06:47):
Absolutely.
I went to art school.
My degree is actually in fine arts, sothat's where like my passion started when
I was a a kid, fresh outta high school.
And I've always loved cooking, but whenyou put out a piece of work, whether
it's a painting or a plate or a pastryor something like that, and you put it
in front of somebody and they don't likeit, you're like, Ugh, I just put all
this work and effort and love into it.
(07:08):
Why don't you like it?
And then you gotta take a step back andbe like, okay, why don't they like it?
What can I do better next time?
Adam Lamb (07:15):
One of the things that I'll say that I don't want anybody to know
is that typically what would happenis I would work really hard on like a
particular beer dinner or wine dinneror huge event and be charging all the
way up to the minute the plates hitthe table, and then I always had this
(07:35):
huge sense of depression afterwards.
I don't know what I was expecting.
Did I have an expectation thatpeople were just gonna jump up or
whatever, and then that didn't happen.
I'm not quite sure that's it, butI just understood innately that
that's a shit load of energy to putinto something that for most folks,
will be forgotten in about 48 hours.
Nio DiPietrantonio (07:58):
I can understand that there's a certain level of
expectation versus reality whereyou build something up in your head.
How much work went into that event andwhen it feels like it's not appreciated,
that can be very demoralizing.
Adam Lamb (08:11):
Yeah, and that's why I, a lot of my coaching is around, I hear
time and time again how chefs feellike not appreciated or not valued,
and I had to come through the firemyself only to understand that if
I'm expecting someone else to valueme, then I'll be waiting a long time.
Like no one will ever beable to know what we do.
(08:34):
The nuance and the effort and thepassion, the calculation and the
time travel and all that stuff.
And so when we come back to thespace of, we expect everyone
else to know that's, that I don'tthink that's fair of us to them.
And again, becomes like a, forgivethe word, but a circle jerk.
It's almost, geez, whatare we gonna do now?
Nio DiPietrantonio (08:54):
No, I, I can understand that.
And I think too, maybe a certain aspectof that social media has helped and
hurt in a way because it shows, wesee a lot of, especially with younger
chefs taking these elaborate videosand photos of the work that they
do and the work that goes into it.
And that's great, but it, they alsodon't show necessarily what goes on
in the background, the long hours.
(09:16):
The cleanup, the having to stay lateto take care of the dishes and the, the
weekly cleanups of scrubbing out theovens and the ranges and the salamander,
and taking everything apart and takingapart a greaser and all that stuff.
And that's the real kitchenlife that people don't see.
And sometimes when they come fromculinary school or what have you, and
step into that world, they're like, whoa.
Adam Lamb (09:36):
Yeah.
Like even just mopping a floor.
Nio DiPietrantonio (09:38):
Yeah.
Adam Lamb (09:39):
There is joy to be found even in mopping the floor.
Nio DiPietrantonio (09:42):
It's a very zen experience, especially after a crazy
shift when you just have that, likethere's silence in the restaurant and
there's silence in the dining room andeverything else is clean and you're
mopping the last thing of the day.
It's a very.
Centering time, which isyou need after a busy day
Adam Lamb (09:59):
for sure.
Now you got a lot of, I was veryintrigued by watching your, or reading
your content on LinkedIn because itresonated so deeply with me because I
wish our paths had crossed because itseems like you and I have a very similar
aesthetic, and so that's why I wantedto bring you on the show, and there's
several things that we want to get into.
Nio DiPietrantonio (10:20):
I appreciate
Adam Lamb (10:21):
that.
But before that, why don't you letthe listeners know how you got here?
Nio DiPietrantonio (10:25):
Yeah, of course.
So I've been in the hospitalityindustry since I was 16 years old.
I started as actually a hostess fora chain restaurant up here in New
England, like a mom and pop kind ofaesthetic where it's like a burger joint,
milkshakes, ice cream, that kind of thing.
And at that point we had somechefs who just decided not
to show up for work one day.
So my manager's like, Hey, canyou hop back there and help?
(10:48):
And I was 17 at this point and I'm like.
Sure.
Okay.
So that's how I got started cooking, andI found I really liked it back there.
I liked being creative.
I liked learning about different stylesof cooking because that's where I
have a very strong Italian background,as you can tell by my last name.
I'm a third generationimmigrant, which is really cool.
I learned how to cook WIC andwith like my Nona in the kitchen
(11:09):
when I was little, so that really.
Spoke to me on a deeper level.
So learning how to cook is where I stayed.
And I picked up some other part-timejobs as I stayed in that role, learning
how to cook from other, other reallygreat chefs who were willing to teach me.
And I eventually got to be likea manager, a general manager.
I served as a director fora very short period of time.
(11:31):
It's just 'cause I didn't really, Ididn't like leaving home that much
and leaving the state that much.
Um, and then I just went backinto cooking and all that.
But during the pandemic,obviously is when a lot of
hospitality folks were struggling.
Myself included, it was a little bitbefore the pandemic that I actually
had a small stroke while I was at work.
Boy, oh boy.
(11:51):
Yeah, it was not a good time.
I was working, I would say, anywherebetween 14 to 18 hour days at this point,
just because we were very short staffed.
I was working as both acook and a manager, and.
Dual roles, which is never funwhen you're a restaurant manager.
And I was also abusing likecaffeine pills at the time just to
be able to get through my shifts.
(12:12):
I. And on top of that I was havinglike three energy drinks a day.
Very healthy lifestyle.
Don't recognize.
Right, exactly.
Yeah.
And I was also, unfortunately goingthrough a rough divorce, my husband
was struggling with a substanceabuse problem, so I was not in a
good space mentally or physically.
And that's what eventually led me tothat, that unfortunate health event.
(12:34):
And it forced me to make some lifestylechanges and that's how I got into
cooking for a senior living community.
Adam Lamb (12:42):
So when you say lifestyle choices, like what were some of
the lifestyle choices that youdecided to make at that time?
Nio DiPietrantonio (12:48):
I had my, I had to go to the hospital obviously because of
what happened, and I saw a neurologistand I still see her a couple times a year.
And she told me that I needed toconsider a career change at that point.
And that made me so depressedbecause I didn't wanna stop
doing what I loved doing.
And the narrative I kept beinghere, being told from my doctors was
(13:09):
that this lifestyle is killing you.
That this job is bad for you, thatlike you, you need to get out.
Adam Lamb (13:15):
Boy.
Oh boy.
Nio DiPietrantonio (13:16):
Yeah.
Yeah.
And when you keep hearing thatfrom people who are educated, and I
assume that they were smarter thanme, telling me that you need to stop
doing this thing that you love, it's.
It hurts.
It made me sad and I was very conflictedand I was fortunate enough that one
of my cook buddies was like, Hey, Iknow this place that's looking for
a chef that I think would probablybe better 'cause it's less stressful
(13:38):
than what you're doing right now.
And I'm like, all right, hey, I'llcheck it out and look into it.
And I'm really glad that I did because Ithink the lifestyle fits me a lot better.
Adam Lamb (13:47):
So let's talk about the lifestyle change.
So you went from standalonerestaurant, small chain.
To a senior living facility.
Nio DiPietrantonio (13:57):
Yes.
Yes.
And
Adam Lamb (13:58):
so just culture
Nio DiPietrantonio (13:58):
shock.
Adam Lamb (14:00):
I'm just kind curious about that mindset of, okay, I still wanna do
this, but I need something that's I, Idon't know, less intense or whatever.
Let's say that that's the phrase.
Nio DiPietrantonio (14:11):
That's what I was thinking.
I was in the mindset that it wouldn'tbe as like I didn't have to deal with
online orders and delivery orders andin-house orders and bouncing back and
forth between manager duties or going toother restaurants to bail them out when
they didn't have enough staff members.
Sure.
And just the absolute chaos of beingin a restaurant versus being in like
(14:33):
a kitchen with a couple of otherchefs, taking care of like older
folks is what I just imagined it.
I just make 'em like agrilled cheese or something.
That's was the first thing thatcame into my mind, and it's not like
that in case anyone's wondering.
Right.
But it was a cultureshock when I got there.
But I will say that I think thatit's a much better fit for me
(14:54):
because it's cooking with a purpose.
It's serving what I think is a,a community that really needs
more support and engagement.
Adam Lamb (15:04):
Talk a little bit more about that.
The need, I guess, is the thing thatcomes up as the way you said it.
Nio DiPietrantonio (15:11):
There's not a whole lot, or What I will say is that I see a
lot of turnover, of course in restaurants.
Everybody knows that hospitality hasan incredibly high turnover rate, but
even in senior living communities,the turnover rate is just as bad.
I worked at one facility wheretenured service was considered
two years, and I'm like, okay.
(15:33):
But when we.
When I work in the kitchen, I'm working inright now, we have five chefs and that's
unheard of for the ones that I've been in.
Usually it's like one, two,or three people, three working
at one time, if you're lucky.
And they don't tend to staylong just because it is a little
different in the terms of you.
You see the same people every day, and ifthey don't like something, they're going
(15:54):
to tell you in no uncertain terms whatwas wrong with it, why it was wrong, and
why you should be ashamed of yourself.
You have to get very comfortable hearingextremely direct feedback from people.
Yeah.
But that can also be very refreshing.
Yeah.
And when you're working with asenior population, you get to
know them on a deeper level.
These are people you see every day andyou're encouraged to go out and spend
(16:18):
time with them and do activities withthem and engage with their families
and spend time in the dining room.
They even ask us to go out and sharea meal with them at least once a week.
Adam Lamb (16:27):
Yeah.
I, I also worked at asenior living facility.
Yeah.
Nio DiPietrantonio (16:31):
Um,
Adam Lamb (16:32):
and I think the thing that shocked me the most was
I hadn't counted on acknowledging theamount of stress that I put myself under
on a daily basis, and I reflected that.
When you're on the street, it'sjust not that one plate you put out.
It's the 10 people that they're gonna telland the 10 people that they're gonna tell.
(16:53):
And before you know it, I'mliving underneath a bridge in a
cardboard box with my Natty ice.
And so there's that kind of mania that'sexpected, even if it's just a slow burn.
Some people internalize it, don'treally put it out that much, but
it's still that kind of manicdesire to keep everything up.
Which I'm, I'm sure you experienced when,you know you had your little stroke.
(17:15):
I mean, shit.
Gotta keep going.
Gotta keep going.
Nio DiPietrantonio (17:17):
Absolutely.
That's the hustle culture.
Adam Lamb (17:20):
And then you get back into the, you get back into the
senior living facility and all of asudden everybody's like, just chill.
Just chill bad.
Nio DiPietrantonio (17:27):
That's, it was such a culture shock because I was used to just
running back and forth, get to this meal,get to this station, get to this order,
get to this prep, put this away, and thenwhen I get there it's just, oh, we've got
a couple hours to put together this meal.
We have some stuff we gotta put away.
They're starting an activity inan hour and a half if you wanna
go participate in an activity.
(17:48):
And I'm like, what areyou even talking about?
What is an activity?
What do we do?
Adam Lamb (17:53):
Yeah.
And I thought it was, it wassuch an interesting thing.
I was there probably about threeweeks before I recognized, I started
falling in love with the residents and
Nio DiPietrantonio (18:03):
absolutely
Adam Lamb (18:05):
hadn't expected that.
Because to your point,you see them every day.
And I thought that would be a bad thing.
But what I recognize is it'sa perfect feedback loop.
Nio DiPietrantonio (18:16):
Absolutely.
And it, it can be really intimidatingbecause you are gonna meet those people
who are a little extra spicy, I liketo say, and they'll, they'll tell you.
What the hell did you guysdo to dinner last night?
That was the worst thing I ever had.
Oh my God.
And how they'll be like, ohyeah, breakfast was amazing.
Thank you.
Great job.
I'm like, oh, thanks.
Adam Lamb (18:35):
Yeah, thanks.
Nio DiPietrantonio (18:36):
Feedback.
Adam Lamb (18:36):
Yeah, and it's, it's weird to like, um, again, there's
that thing about the energy.
Like I felt my body just settling intoitself and someone pulled me on the side
and like, I was in my, I was in my thing,I was in my jam and someone pulled me
off the side like, what are you doing?
I'm doing my thing, man.
And.
You don't understand.
You got 650 fans here.
(18:59):
They want you to try stuff,they want you to fail.
They want you to like, at leastsomething's changing, right?
They can see it in front of their eyes.
Like they want you to experiment.
So don't think that you're gonna that,that this is a place where they're gonna
criticize you until you walk out thedoor, because it depends on your skillset.
But um, and the other thing that'sprobably a lot of people don't understand.
(19:23):
Who've never worked inthat market segment.
Is that weird thing aboutseeing folks transition?
I.
Nio DiPietrantonio (19:30):
Yes.
Yes.
So if you work, it depends onobviously what community you work in.
Sure.
Because I, I went from originallyindependent care to assisted living care.
And when you move to those communities,you do have people who live in an
independent lifestyle, meaning thatthey, they don't need necessarily medical
assistance or mobility assistance,but when you move into assisted
living, that usually means that youneed help doing something somewhere.
(19:53):
And then we also have what they call amemory care unit, which is for people
who are obviously struggling with, um.
Mental ability or memoryloss, things of that nature.
And when you work in a senior livingcommunity, you do see that transition from
when somebody, it might be independentto moving to assisted living and
eventually up to the memory care unit,and they might start forgetting certain
(20:14):
things or remembering that they don't.
I. That they don't like certain things orthey don't like to eat certain things or
it, and then it's just, it's dishearteningand saddening at the same time.
As much as you love this personbecause you see them every day,
they're part of your family now.
Adam Lamb (20:27):
Yep.
Nio DiPietrantonio (20:28):
And that can be very hard to watch.
Adam Lamb (20:30):
Yeah.
Some folks could be on property for 20years because they spend most of that time
in independent living and whether it'sa little cottage or whatever, and then
they start moving to the interior of theproperty where the more intense care is.
And it's almost.
I got really emotionallyinvested in the residents.
I had a group of, I don't know, 15.
(20:52):
After I got there, they pulled meinto a room, had a meeting with me,
and the one guy is saying, listen,you know I have prostate cancer.
Nio DiPietrantonio (20:59):
I said,
Adam Lamb (20:59):
when I eat the food, my PSA is like 15, and when I stop eating it
and eat at home, it comes down to six.
Adam, you gotta help
Nio DiPietrantonio (21:09):
me.
Adam Lamb (21:09):
Like you gotta help me.
Like I know that food is medicine andif I don't get the right nutrition,
you know it's gonna be short.
But once they moved, it seemed,once they moved into the building,
it was like, yeah, weeks or months.
I. Yeah.
Nio DiPietrantonio (21:27):
And that's a big thing too, is that they care about
flavor as much as anything else.
But we also have to takeinto account nutrition needs.
Yeah.
We have to learn how to cook withoutsalt in a lot of issues, which can be
very challenging for, for some chefs.
Yeah.
Is that you have to learn to create flavorwithout salt or without sometimes fat or
without dairy because you have to caterto a lot of different diverse needs.
Adam Lamb (21:50):
Yeah.
And you're also in partnershipwith a nutritionist.
You submit your menus and thenutritionist comes back, green
beans are a starch, right?
Nio DiPietrantonio (21:58):
Yeah.
Yes.
And uh,
Adam Lamb (22:02):
you've got two starch.
You do have to
Nio DiPietrantonio (22:03):
work with the nutritionist, which is it.
It can be difficult.
I've worked with some goodones and some bad ones.
But a lot of times what I've noticedis that they just, you'll work with
a nutritionist who also doesn'treally know how to cook either.
That's correct.
They'll come up with some of thesecrazy recipes that make absolutely
no sense, and I'm like, howdid you even come up with this?
I'm like, oh, somebody submitted it to us.
I'm like, this is garbage.
They're not gonna eat this.
Adam Lamb (22:25):
It's a very interesting way to work.
You know, wield your craft, likein partnership with these people.
Like to your point, someone'salways coming in with a recipe
like, they wanna try this and Ihad this with my nana, or whatever.
Yeah.
And you're almost kind of,
Nio DiPietrantonio (22:42):
yeah, sure, why not?
Adam Lamb (22:44):
I could sit there and kick my feet or whatever, but it
just seems so much easier justto, yeah, let's be together.
I started a littlenewsletter every week and
Nio DiPietrantonio (22:53):
I love that I
Adam Lamb (22:54):
kept saying, we're all in this together.
I did it.
It wasn't completely altruistic.
They were used to raspberriesin December and I'm like, I only
get so many dollars per month.
Per year.
Yes.
I'd rather spend thaton high quality meats
Nio DiPietrantonio (23:08):
during
Adam Lamb (23:08):
budget.
Yeah.
I started doing a commodity report andthey were like, oh yeah, strawberries
are getting really expensive.
We're gonna stop having, yeah,man, because I wanna keep giving
you this really great, these greatproteins and vegetables, and so
not only are you working in.
In assisted living, senior care, butthen you decide that you're gonna
(23:32):
dedicate a portion of your life to.
Hospitality mental health.
Nio DiPietrantonio (23:36):
Yes.
Yes.
So when I was going through my own mentalhealth struggles is when I actually
discovered the Burnt Chef Project.
And I know you're a big advocateand I'm, I appreciate that.
It was very cool and that I was listeningto Chris Hall doing a podcast when
I was actually doing like Job PostSearchings one time, and he was talking
about how that we shouldn't have togive up doing something that we love
(23:56):
just because everyone's telling usthat it's broken or it's wrong, or.
For whatever reason that it'sfundamentally flawed and that it needs to,
it does need to change, but we shouldn'thave to walk away from it to make it work.
And I was sitting therelike aggressively nodding.
As I'm scrolling through indeedlooking at job postings, I'm
like, okay, why am I doing this?
(24:17):
I don't want to leave, but I need tofigure out a way to make this better.
And what happened during the pandemicis that it was a small group of us
who were actually like in a text-basedchat from different restaurants,
and we were all talking about thedifferent struggles we were having.
So one of our coworkers has twospecial needs kids, and she was
having trouble finding care forthem because in the middle of the
pandemic everything was shut down.
(24:38):
And another one of our.
One of our support group members atthe time wasn't able to afford enough
food, so they were looking for a foodpantry that was still operating in our
area so that they could get groceriesfor the week, and other members
started suggesting resources for that.
They'd be like, oh, check out this.
This pantry on this street, inthis in your area, or check out
like the Autism Society of Mainebecause they might be able to help
(25:01):
you find resources for helpingwith your kids and stuff like that.
And it was that little supportgroup that we decided, why
doesn't everybody have this?
Why doesn't every restaurant havea group of people just willing
to look out for each other?
Adam Lamb (25:16):
Isn't that interesting?
Nio DiPietrantonio (25:18):
Yes, yes.
Especially with how cliquey it can be.
I'm sure you've worked with plenty ofchefs and plenty of groups where it was
very like tight knit and everybody knewwhat was going on in each other's lives,
and that's just, that's what we do.
We see these people sometimes80, 90 hours a week.
We are typically a family.
Whether or not we wanna admit it,
Adam Lamb (25:40):
we are spending more time with them than our families.
Nio DiPietrantonio (25:43):
Yes, I certainly was.
Adam Lamb (25:45):
And so this starts as.
For lack of a better word, no one elseis doing it, so we might as well do it.
Right.
Nio DiPietrantonio (25:53):
Essentially.
Yeah.
We wanted to create, we wanted to takeour support network and make it bigger.
We wanted to be able to include morepeople in it and get more people
involved and try to find more resources.
We wanted to try to find morelike food pantries to help
battle in food insecurity.
We wanted to try to help peoplewith, if they were struggling with
financial problems to help with likedebt counseling and things like that.
The, unfortunately, the pandemic hurt alot of people in a lot of restaurants and
(26:16):
people were struggling to pay their bills.
So trying to find people tohelp with paying bills was good.
And any kind of resourcelike that, that would help.
And, uh, substance use is very high inthe hospitality industry, so trying to
help people find clinics that they couldget into to, to help them battle their.
Their substance use disorders.
That's another big one.
Adam Lamb (26:35):
Yeah.
And
Nio DiPietrantonio (26:36):
trying to collect resources to help all of these
people with these things is what wedecided we wanted to do as a group.
Adam Lamb (26:41):
And so that turned into
Nio DiPietrantonio (26:43):
serving up Support me.
It's a nonprofit organization.
We decided to turn itofficially into an organization.
It's me and two otherformer restaurant managers.
Unfortunately, they're no longer inthe hospitality industry, but they're
invested in helping to make it better.
Adam Lamb (27:00):
Chris Hall from the Burnt Chef Project.
Not a chef, not in the industry.
He was servicing the industry.
He was a salesperson and he kept goinginto these kitchens and just hearing
all the horror stories and said,shit, someone's gotta do something.
But it seems to me, catkins, there'sso many people from the outside
who will listen to our stories,then go, oh, we need to help them.
Nio DiPietrantonio (27:20):
No, like a Sarah McLaughlin commercial.
Adam Lamb (27:22):
No, but I'm just saying, very few of us, very few of us were like going,
oh, let's get together and do somethinguntil the pandemic, which I think.
From my perspective was a good thing.
It hurt a lot of people, and I don'twant to demean that, but I also
understand that this is a greatopportunity for us to reset the
industry, our culture, if not now when.
(27:45):
And some of that's panned out andsome of that hasn't panned out.
So I celebrate the fact thatyou started as a grassroots
organization just because you could.
Nio DiPietrantonio (27:54):
That's exactly what it was, is I wanted
to make a difference here.
I wanted to help more peoplehere because I've unfortunately
lost people to, to overdoses.
I've lost people to alcoholismand I've lost friends just
from just leaving the industry.
People I still talk to, but werejust so burnt out from the way
that they were treated by peopleor by their managers, or just by.
(28:14):
The very nature of thebusiness that they're like,
I just can't do this anymore.
It's crushing my soul.
Yeah.
And I don't want that to keep happening.
I want people to be excitedto be in the industry.
I'm excited to be in the industry.
I just needed to find my niche.
Yeah.
Adam Lamb (28:28):
Like the meme, like I just want chefs to be happy again.
Nio DiPietrantonio (28:31):
Yes.
Essentially.
Adam Lamb (28:33):
I really want them to enjoy their work.
Nio DiPietrantonio (28:34):
Happy chefs create innovative dishes and you can
taste it in the food when they'rehappy and when they're not happy.
Adam Lamb (28:40):
Well, it's no secret that anger cooks make shitty food.
So
Nio DiPietrantonio (28:43):
yes, agreed.
You can taste the impatience.
Adam Lamb (28:48):
And so what does it look like now moving forward for this organization?
I think in 2024 you guys won an award.
You're.
For your efforts?
Nio DiPietrantonio (28:58):
Yes.
We got a best innovative mentalhealth approach for 2024 from best
of best review, which is really cool.
Very unexpected, but very cool.
And it's just, it's nice thatit's being seen as a movement.
It also feels like maybe in a way it's,oh, helping people that's so novel.
(29:20):
And it's just, it feels like if it wasany other industry, it maybe it would've
been taken more seriously earlier, butbecause it's hospitality, and hospitality
is generally seen as being like low incomeor lower skills are needed to do the job,
that it's just seemed like a throwawayjob or a throwaway industry, and it's not.
Hospitality is everything andeverywhere in our society,
Adam Lamb (29:42):
it couldn't be more.
I gotta ask, how you feeling?
Nio DiPietrantonio (29:47):
I'm feeling good.
I'm definitely, one of the challengesof working in senior living is that you
do run the risk of losing residents.
Mm-hmm.
And we actually, within the last twoweeks, we've lost four just from different
things, unfortunately, like memory care,dementia and illness, general illness.
And there were four people Ireally cared about, and it's hard
(30:10):
to have time to process that.
Especially because the care staff alsodoesn't really get a chance to process it.
And these are people that you work closelywith and they don't get the opportunity
to cry and grieve because they havehundreds of other people to take care of.
So you carry that with you and you missit when you don't see those people in the
dining room anymore at their usual tables.
(30:33):
So not having that space to grievethere is challenging, but you have to
make time to grieve and to appreciatethe people for who they were.
And, uh, yeah.
For your emotional healths
Adam Lamb (30:45):
and physically.
Nio DiPietrantonio: Physically, I'm doing better. (30:47):
undefined
I'm doing well.
I do have to take medications for life, itcertain meds that I have to take, but they
keep me happy, they keep me well focused.
All the big free things that Ineed to do my job well, and to
be able to be a better person.
I need to be present for my familyand I need to be present for my
husband and to be who I wanna be.
Adam Lamb (31:08):
And so how long you think you're gonna be able to do this?
Nio DiPietrantonio (31:12):
I'm gonna keep doing it as long as I can.
I, I don't see it ending.
I wanna see us grow.
I wanna see our organization grow.
I wanna see the Burnt Chef Projectgrow because I'm an ambassador.
I wanna bring that.
I would love to have the BurntChef Project in the Burnt Chef
Academy in every restaurant.
I think everyone should takethe courses if they can.
Same thing with likehealthy hospital courses.
Same thing with the chow organization.
I think everyone should go to achow meeting at least once just to
(31:35):
see what it's about, because havingthat catharsis is so important.
Adam Lamb (31:40):
I love the Wednesday night meetings.
I dial in whenever I can.
It's the men's only group, and I'vedone a lot of men's work, so that's a
great environment for me to drop into.
And I love the fact that sobriety is nota prerequisite to being there, right?
So you still have to handle yourself,but the point you can't go and smash.
But, but the point is like,they welcome all and it's, I, I.
(32:06):
I've been beating the drum sinceabout 2008 about these issues and
thought to myself like, no one elseis gonna clean this shit up, man.
This is our mess.
It's our responsibility.
And I know a lot of these organizationswere starting before the pandemic, but
of course, during and after is reallywhere it came up because they think.
(32:26):
To a certain extent, we, the industrylost the narrative because now all of
a sudden the Washington Post and theNew York Times are writing, oh, it's
shit to fucking work in restaurants.
Okay dude, we do that allalong, thanks very much.
But now the outside world knows that,but there's, I don't know if there's
some, like a certain amount of honoror props that we give to one another
(32:46):
for slogging it out or for being inthe grind and patting each other on the
back and trying to outdo one another.
I think that.
That badge of of courage is, isreally misplaced because I think we
continue to egg each other on even now.
Nio DiPietrantonio (33:04):
Oh yeah.
Adam Lamb (33:05):
And until a chef from a hotel or a chef from a restaurant
can meet a chef from a senior livingfacility and go, yeah, dude, you got it.
Restaurants close at seven o'clockat night, you're going home to kids.
I'm still at the job like, oh yeah,each particular job has its own thing.
But I think that there's a certainamount of, I don't wanna say respect,
(33:29):
but I. Grace that we should be givingone another no matter what market
segment we work in, because we're alldealing with the same stuff and it's
just a little different on each end.
And I, there were, I hadbeen shamed a couple times.
I had a, a sous chef who said to me on theline, he's getting ready for a Saturday
night and a little Italian bistro, andhe's like, dude, I'm quitting, dude,
(33:52):
you've been here like seven years.
What do you mean you're quitting?
Yep.
Going to healthcare.
Healthcare.
What do you what?
That's such a great transition.
And he said it very simply to me,he's, I wanna be home for my kids.
And I'm like, oh, now that's somebody whoreally knows what his core values are.
And I didn't know what theywere mine like owing mine.
(34:12):
Like I spent so much time chasing thepinnacle of my career that my children
spent a lot of time like without me.
And even though as they're grownnow, I. They have a lot of compassion
and for me, and they're like, no,dude, you were the, you were great.
You were a great father.
I know, I know.
Like I could have done thingsdifferently, but at the time I only did
(34:35):
what I did because that's all I knew.
And having said that,
I'm just, I feel very grateful to behere, to be talking to you, be talking
about things like the Burn Chef project,about you serving up support Maine.
I think these are things that arevery positive and anything I can do
to support you, I want to do that.
Nio DiPietrantonio (34:53):
I'm so grateful and I appreciate that.
And same with you.
I love listening to you.
I love listening to Chef Life Radio.
I learned a lot.
I did the, I was listening to yourlast episode about like adaptivity
and adaptability and how that'sa skill that can be nurtured.
And I had to take a step back and thinkabout it and I'm like, you know what?
That's true.
And no one ever really putit that way to me before.
Mm-hmm.
(35:13):
So I learned a lot from that too.
Thanks.
You have to teach how to be adaptable,and that's not something I think anybody
talks about in the restaurant industry.
Adam Lamb (35:21):
Yeah.
I've come down to this one simplestatement, which is like, nobody
teaches leadership in culinary school.
Yeah.
And at some point we all need to leadE, even if we just lead ourselves.
'cause of course you can't lead anybodyelse if you're not leading yourself.
But the point is like getting throwna set of keys and now I'm the chef.
That's the recipe for disaster.
(35:42):
So that
Nio DiPietrantonio (35:42):
field promotion,
Adam Lamb (35:43):
like you, I wanna leave this industry better.
Then when I found it, because as manycrazy times, as many hard times, as
many frustrating and, and, and sadtimes, I also had some amazing times
and it has really been a gift to me.
So I wanna make sure that I do everythingpossible to, uh, be a resource to others
(36:05):
because I don't want to have anotherhospitality professional take their own
lives because they didn't feel seen,heard, or had access to resources because.
That's bullshit.
Nio DiPietrantonio (36:15):
It is.
And maybe some of it is alittle bit generational too.
My own mentor who I adore this, the chefwho literally taught me everything I know.
I still talk to him regularly.
He thinks I'm crazy.
He says, I don't.
I appreciate what you're trying to do.
I just don't think it's gonna work.
I don't think it's gonna go anywhere.
This is like a 65-year-old chef.
Sure.
I love death.
He's amazing.
But that's, he's A-A-C-I-Agraduate and he was an instructor.
(36:38):
He, if he doesn't think that we can changeit, that can be a little demoralizing,
but I wanna make it better for him too.
I want you to see thatwe can make this better.
We can do better for you.
We can do better for everybody else.
He even used to tell me howhe missed his entire child.
His kids growing up because hewas busy working or busy teaching,
and he regrets that he regretsnot being there for his kids.
(36:59):
Like how you were saying he is.
He is a great father.
He's a great man, but he has so manyregrets for not being there, for
his family, and we can find balance.
We can find a way to make this work forpeople regardless of what stage you are.
Adam Lamb (37:13):
I couldn't agree more because.
To be frank, everybodywants to blame the industry.
We're the industry,
Nio DiPietrantonio (37:20):
right?
I, we're only as good asour industry and right.
We have to make it better.
Adam Lamb (37:23):
Like how, like I say, very often that I've been trained, shamed,
and conditioned to be the way I am.
Because there was always somebodylooking at me like outta the corner.
And when you think about it.
Comparison is the death of joy, right?
Yes.
If you're comparing yourselfto someone else constantly, but
that's what our industry does.
Every single competitions or whateverdown the street and you cook,
(37:44):
comparing yourself to someone elseand never quite, that was the original
Instagram to be in this industry, yo.
But that is also a recipefor disaster because it.
It skews the journey of youdiscovering what you're possible.
So to your mentor, I would say, dude, justbecause you made that choice doesn't mean
(38:06):
you have to continue to make that choice.
It's that simple, and when enoughof us decide that we're gonna create
something different, it'll happen.
It's just a point of leverage.
There's a certain amount of energythat needs to build up before things
start changing, and it's not gonnabe, listen, we could just sit there
(38:27):
and go, okay, it'll never change.
And then it won't exactly.
But we certainly have no ideawhat's possible unless we try.
Nio DiPietrantonio (38:36):
I remember when I started my management training, granted
this was when I was 18, I had no businessbeing a manager, but again, somebody
didn't show up for their job, so Igot a battlefield promotion and when I
started my training, they actually hadus watch a video called The Lone Dancer.
I don't know if you've ever seen or ifyou know what that is, but it's this
little video of a guy I think he's at.
A Woodstock concert or something,something crazy like a hippie, everybody,
(38:58):
right, go to music and et cetera.
Dance.
Dance.
And this one guy gets up and he startsdancing and he looks a little silly
doing it, but eventually one personwill join him and another person will
join him and eventually he's got awhole crowd of people dancing with him.
And the, obviously the message ofthat is that you do eventually.
Have to be that one crazy lone dancer.
If you want other people to join you,and you do have to put yourself out
(39:20):
there, you have to look a little crazyto, to get people to, to join you.
I love it.
If they don't feel heard,they're not gonna be with you.
So I guess I have to be the lone,crazy dancer and I'm glad that
you're up there dancing with you.
I'll
Adam Lamb (39:31):
dance with you anytime, Christopher, you.
Nio DiPietrantonio (39:34):
They can find me on on Instagram.
We are at serving up.
Support me as our Instagram handle.
I'm on LinkedIn, Neo duped.
Antonio, we have a Facebookpage for both that and LinkedIn
page for serving up support me.
We have also a, a place on our websitewhere if you are struggling with
anything, you can contact us and we willhelp you find resources in your area.
We are not just exclusiveto Maine or New England.
(39:56):
We will help you no matter where you are.
We will help you find resourcesfor what you're struggling with.
Adam Lamb (40:01):
Thank you very much for what you're doing, chef.
Nio DiPietrantonio (40:03):
Of course, we owe it to us.
We owe it to ourselves andwe owe it to our industry.
Adam Lamb (40:07):
I look forward to having you back very soon.
Nio DiPietrantonio (40:09):
Thank you so much, chef Adam.
I'm so grateful for your time.
Adam Lamb (40:12):
That's a wrap for today's episode of Chef Life Radio.
If this resonated with you, do me a favor,subscribe, share, and leave a review.
Your feedback helps us reach moreculinary leaders like you who are ready
to take their kitchens to the next level.
Want more connect with me onLinkedIn, Instagram, or join our Chef
Life Radio community for exclusiveinsights and leadership tools.
(40:33):
Remember, leadershipisn't about perfection.
It's about progress.
So take what you've learned todayand apply it in your kitchen,
your team, and your life.
Chef Life Radio is more thanjust a podcast, it's a movement.
The focus is no longer just on careersurvival, but on transforming leadership,
creating sustainability, and ensuringchefs can build kitchens that thrive.
Remember, the secret ingredientto culinary success isn't just in
(40:56):
the food, it's in the leadership.
Keep learning, keepgrowing, and as always.
Lead with the heart.
See you next time.
Welcome back to the Show Chef.
What if I told you that burnout doesn'thave to be the end of your story, that
you could walk away from the chaos, notin defeat, but with clarity, purpose,
and a deeper connection to your craft?
In this episode of Chef Life Radio, Isit down with Chef Neo DiPietrantonio
but not before completely butchering hername, who went from chasing perfection.
(00:29):
High pressure restaurants torediscovering balance, health and
meaning in the most unexpected atplaces senior living communities.
We talk about what it takes to slowdown without giving up how creativity
and care can coexist and why changingkitchens might just change your life.
We also dive deep into the originof serving up Support Maine, a
(00:50):
grassroots initiative, chef NeoCo-founded to help hospitality workers.
Battling burnout, substance abuseand mental health challenges,
and why it's always true.
That need is the mother of all invention.
Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition.
This is a story about reinvention,resilience, and the radical idea that you
don't have to suffer to prove you care.
(01:11):
Whether you're just getting started inthe industry or you're wondering how much
longer you can hold on this one's for you.
Stick around.
We'll be back with allthat and a whole lot more.
Welcome to Chef Life Radio, the podcastdedicated to helping chefs and culinary
leaders take control of their kitchens,build resilient teams, and create
(01:33):
a thriving career in hospitality.
I'm Chef Adam Lamb, your host,leadership coach, and industry veteran.
If you're tired of high turnover.
Burnout and the dailygrind, you're not alone.
This podcast is here to give you thereal strategies, insights, and tools you
need to lead with confidence, build aculture of excellence and craft a kitchen
that works for you, not against you.
(01:55):
Because the best kitchens don'tjust survive, they thrive.
Hit that subscribe buttonand let's get started.
Hey, chef, real quick.
If you're digging the conversationand you want more tools, insight and
mindset shifts to help you thrive,both in and out of the kitchen.
Make sure you're signed up for therecipe for your success Newsletter
Drops twice a month, totally free.
(02:17):
It's packed with leadership tips,culture building strategies, and
reminders to breathe before the burnout.
Whether you're a head chef, a teamleader, or just trying to figure out
what's next, it's written for you.
Hit the link in the show notes to geton the list and let's succeed together.
And now back to the show
because I'll have to do it again, so
Nio DiPietrantonio (02:35):
no worries.
Adam Lamb (02:39):
Say it one more time again.
Nio DiPietrantonio (02:40):
DiPietrantonio
Adam Lamb (02:42):
dri Dupri.
Nio DiPietrantonio (02:45):
It's ridiculous.
I,
Adam Lamb (02:47):
I know.
I'll say just Chef Nio.
Nio DiPietrantonio (02:50):
That's what everybody else does.
So
Adam Lamb (02:51):
really
Nio DiPietrantonio (02:53):
DiPietrantonio
Adam Lamb (02:56):
DiPietrantonio okay.
Forget it.
I'm, I'm a little tired.
It's not you, it's me.
It's always me.
No, that's
Nio DiPietrantonio (03:02):
fine.
I hear you, brother.
I hear you.
It's been a long day.
Adam Lamb (03:04):
And so, but you didn't even go to work today?
Nio DiPietrantonio (03:07):
I didn't, but unfortunately my mom, she had
a really bad accident at work.
She fell and broke her leg last month.
She's not able to get herselfaround, so I've been taking her to
do like grocery shopping and to herphysical therapy appointments and
doctor's appointments and stuff.
So trying to help her gether life back on track.
Adam Lamb (03:25):
And do you find that, uh, for most of your
life you have been a caretaker?
Nio DiPietrantonio (03:28):
Yes, definitely.
Yes, for sure.
Adam Lamb (03:33):
Oh, it's fantastic.
It's fantastic.
Yeah, it's, I think one of the weirdthings is to actually understand
that we're in a life of service.
Nio DiPietrantonio (03:42):
I would say that's for probably the same for most people in
the hospitality industry and for chefs.
Adam Lamb (03:46):
We
Nio DiPietrantonio (03:46):
give ourselves to people all day long.
Adam Lamb (03:48):
Yeah.
But we hold everybody else injudgment because they don't get it.
Nio DiPietrantonio (03:52):
That's true.
That's true.
Adam Lamb (03:55):
And the thing that I had to come to terms with is
like no one will ever understand.
So why am I expecting them to,
Nio DiPietrantonio (04:01):
at least to encourage the conversation, to have a little
bit of empathy with each other to
Adam Lamb (04:06):
see
Nio DiPietrantonio: where we're coming from. (04:06):
undefined
Adam Lamb (04:07):
Yeah.
That very often gets into, I don'tknow, I spent lots of nights.
Service bars way, way late.
And inevitably the conversationsget to this point where, you know,
the, everybody just wants to bitchand be a victim of the circumstance.
And that would've really hit me isno, I made this choice, so therefore
(04:28):
I have no right complaint about it.
And the cool thing is, islike understanding that I
have the power to change it.
Nio DiPietrantonio (04:35):
We do.
And we did.
I'd say for sure we did choosethe life, but that doesn't mean
that we can't make it better forourselves and for other generations.
Adam Lamb (04:42):
Couldn't agree more.
Couldn't agree more.
So tell me one thing that you wantme to know and tell me one thing
that you don't want me to know.
How about
Nio DiPietrantonio (04:52):
you?
All right.
Let's see.
One thing I want you to know is thatI take a lot of pride in what I do,
but I don't want my pride to everget in the way of learning something.
And that, I think that's easy to do,especially in our industry where we have
a certain body of knowledge and we get toa point where we're like, I know how to do
that, but you also have to learn to holdyourself in a certain level of humility.
Mm-hmm.
(05:12):
And that's something I amvery aware of in myself to.
Take a step back and be like, okay,check your ego and pay attention
to what's going on in front of you.
Adam Lamb (05:23):
It's very admirable for sure because that takes,
Nio DiPietrantonio (05:26):
it's hard,
Adam Lamb (05:27):
a bit of maturity.
That doesn't necessarilyhappen right outta the gate.
Nio DiPietrantonio (05:31):
You have to fall on your face a couple times.
First, first to get there.
Adam Lamb (05:35):
Oh yeah.
That's so much fun.
Nio DiPietrantonio (05:37):
It sure.
Let's call it that.
Adam Lamb (05:40):
And one thing that you don't want us to know about you.
Nio DiPietrantonio (05:43):
I don't want you to know how sensitive I am.
I do take criticism verypersonally, even as I got older.
So I try to be very stone faced whensomeone's saying they don't like something
or something didn't hit well or land well.
And I'll just be like, okay,thank you for the feedback.
But then inside I'm like crying.
I'm sad and I'm like, I'm tryingto put that wall up of like shame
that I had because it didn'tcome out the way I wanted it to.
(06:03):
And it's learning to separate myemotions from my, my aptitude.
And to just to learn from thatexperience and not take it personally.
Adam Lamb (06:13):
Yeah.
I think it's, I think it's a given thatif you're in this life, if you're in
this career, you're already sensitive.
That's true.
It takes a certain bit of sensitivity tobe able to work with, really find products
and the nuances of flavor and be able to.
Have some sort of reverence for where theycame from and where they're gonna be, and
(06:37):
yet we put ourselves out there every day.
It becomes almost like a self-fulfillingfantasy that we want criticism,
even though we don't want it.
Does that make sense?
Nio DiPietrantonio (06:47):
Absolutely.
I went to art school.
My degree is actually in fine arts, sothat's where like my passion started when
I was a a kid, fresh outta high school.
And I've always loved cooking, but whenyou put out a piece of work, whether
it's a painting or a plate or a pastryor something like that, and you put it
in front of somebody and they don't likeit, you're like, Ugh, I just put all
this work and effort and love into it.
(07:08):
Why don't you like it?
And then you gotta take a step back andbe like, okay, why don't they like it?
What can I do better next time?
Adam Lamb (07:15):
One of the things that I'll say that I don't want anybody to know
is that typically what would happenis I would work really hard on like a
particular beer dinner or wine dinneror huge event and be charging all the
way up to the minute the plates hitthe table, and then I always had this
(07:35):
huge sense of depression afterwards.
I don't know what I was expecting.
Did I have an expectation thatpeople were just gonna jump up or
whatever, and then that didn't happen.
I'm not quite sure that's it, butI just understood innately that
that's a shit load of energy to putinto something that for most folks,
will be forgotten in about 48 hours.
Nio DiPietrantonio (07:58):
I can understand that there's a certain level of
expectation versus reality whereyou build something up in your head.
How much work went into that event andwhen it feels like it's not appreciated,
that can be very demoralizing.
Adam Lamb (08:11):
Yeah, and that's why I, a lot of my coaching is around, I hear
time and time again how chefs feellike not appreciated or not valued,
and I had to come through the firemyself only to understand that if
I'm expecting someone else to valueme, then I'll be waiting a long time.
Like no one will ever beable to know what we do.
(08:34):
The nuance and the effort and thepassion, the calculation and the
time travel and all that stuff.
And so when we come back to thespace of, we expect everyone
else to know that's, that I don'tthink that's fair of us to them.
And again, becomes like a, forgivethe word, but a circle jerk.
It's almost, geez, whatare we gonna do now?
Nio DiPietrantonio (08:54):
No, I, I can understand that.
And I think too, maybe a certain aspectof that social media has helped and
hurt in a way because it shows, wesee a lot of, especially with younger
chefs taking these elaborate videosand photos of the work that they
do and the work that goes into it.
And that's great, but it, they alsodon't show necessarily what goes on
in the background, the long hours.
(09:16):
The cleanup, the having to stay lateto take care of the dishes and the, the
weekly cleanups of scrubbing out theovens and the ranges and the salamander,
and taking everything apart and takingapart a greaser and all that stuff.
And that's the real kitchenlife that people don't see.
And sometimes when they come fromculinary school or what have you, and
step into that world, they're like, whoa.
Adam Lamb (09:36):
Yeah.
Like even just mopping a floor.
Nio DiPietrantonio (09:38):
Yeah.
Adam Lamb (09:39):
There is joy to be found even in mopping the floor.
Nio DiPietrantonio (09:42):
It's a very zen experience, especially after a crazy
shift when you just have that, likethere's silence in the restaurant and
there's silence in the dining room andeverything else is clean and you're
mopping the last thing of the day.
It's a very.
Centering time, which isyou need after a busy day
Adam Lamb (09:59):
for sure.
Now you got a lot of, I was veryintrigued by watching your, or reading
your content on LinkedIn because itresonated so deeply with me because I
wish our paths had crossed because itseems like you and I have a very similar
aesthetic, and so that's why I wantedto bring you on the show, and there's
several things that we want to get into.
Nio DiPietrantonio (10:20):
I appreciate
Adam Lamb (10:21):
that.
But before that, why don't you letthe listeners know how you got here?
Nio DiPietrantonio (10:25):
Yeah, of course.
So I've been in the hospitalityindustry since I was 16 years old.
I started as actually a hostess fora chain restaurant up here in New
England, like a mom and pop kind ofaesthetic where it's like a burger joint,
milkshakes, ice cream, that kind of thing.
And at that point we had somechefs who just decided not
to show up for work one day.
So my manager's like, Hey, canyou hop back there and help?
(10:48):
And I was 17 at this point and I'm like.
Sure.
Okay.
So that's how I got started cooking, andI found I really liked it back there.
I liked being creative.
I liked learning about different stylesof cooking because that's where I
have a very strong Italian background,as you can tell by my last name.
I'm a third generationimmigrant, which is really cool.
I learned how to cook WIC andwith like my Nona in the kitchen
(11:09):
when I was little, so that really.
Spoke to me on a deeper level.
So learning how to cook is where I stayed.
And I picked up some other part-timejobs as I stayed in that role, learning
how to cook from other, other reallygreat chefs who were willing to teach me.
And I eventually got to be likea manager, a general manager.
I served as a director fora very short period of time.
(11:31):
It's just 'cause I didn't really, Ididn't like leaving home that much
and leaving the state that much.
Um, and then I just went backinto cooking and all that.
But during the pandemic,obviously is when a lot of
hospitality folks were struggling.
Myself included, it was a little bitbefore the pandemic that I actually
had a small stroke while I was at work.
Boy, oh boy.
(11:51):
Yeah, it was not a good time.
I was working, I would say, anywherebetween 14 to 18 hour days at this point,
just because we were very short staffed.
I was working as both acook and a manager, and.
Dual roles, which is never funwhen you're a restaurant manager.
And I was also abusing likecaffeine pills at the time just to
be able to get through my shifts.
(12:12):
I. And on top of that I was havinglike three energy drinks a day.
Very healthy lifestyle.
Don't recognize.
Right, exactly.
Yeah.
And I was also, unfortunately goingthrough a rough divorce, my husband
was struggling with a substanceabuse problem, so I was not in a
good space mentally or physically.
And that's what eventually led me tothat, that unfortunate health event.
(12:34):
And it forced me to make some lifestylechanges and that's how I got into
cooking for a senior living community.
Adam Lamb (12:42):
So when you say lifestyle choices, like what were some of
the lifestyle choices that youdecided to make at that time?
Nio DiPietrantonio (12:48):
I had my, I had to go to the hospital obviously because of
what happened, and I saw a neurologistand I still see her a couple times a year.
And she told me that I needed toconsider a career change at that point.
And that made me so depressedbecause I didn't wanna stop
doing what I loved doing.
And the narrative I kept beinghere, being told from my doctors was
(13:09):
that this lifestyle is killing you.
That this job is bad for you, thatlike you, you need to get out.
Adam Lamb (13:15):
Boy.
Oh boy.
Nio DiPietrantonio (13:16):
Yeah.
Yeah.
And when you keep hearing thatfrom people who are educated, and I
assume that they were smarter thanme, telling me that you need to stop
doing this thing that you love, it's.
It hurts.
It made me sad and I was very conflictedand I was fortunate enough that one
of my cook buddies was like, Hey, Iknow this place that's looking for
a chef that I think would probablybe better 'cause it's less stressful
(13:38):
than what you're doing right now.
And I'm like, all right, hey, I'llcheck it out and look into it.
And I'm really glad that I did because Ithink the lifestyle fits me a lot better.
Adam Lamb (13:47):
So let's talk about the lifestyle change.
So you went from standalonerestaurant, small chain.
To a senior living facility.
Nio DiPietrantonio (13:57):
Yes.
Yes.
And
Adam Lamb (13:58):
so just culture
Nio DiPietrantonio (13:58):
shock.
Adam Lamb (14:00):
I'm just kind curious about that mindset of, okay, I still wanna do
this, but I need something that's I, Idon't know, less intense or whatever.
Let's say that that's the phrase.
Nio DiPietrantonio (14:11):
That's what I was thinking.
I was in the mindset that it wouldn'tbe as like I didn't have to deal with
online orders and delivery orders andin-house orders and bouncing back and
forth between manager duties or going toother restaurants to bail them out when
they didn't have enough staff members.
Sure.
And just the absolute chaos of beingin a restaurant versus being in like
(14:33):
a kitchen with a couple of otherchefs, taking care of like older
folks is what I just imagined it.
I just make 'em like agrilled cheese or something.
That's was the first thing thatcame into my mind, and it's not like
that in case anyone's wondering.
Right.
But it was a cultureshock when I got there.
But I will say that I think thatit's a much better fit for me
(14:54):
because it's cooking with a purpose.
It's serving what I think is a,a community that really needs
more support and engagement.
Adam Lamb (15:04):
Talk a little bit more about that.
The need, I guess, is the thing thatcomes up as the way you said it.
Nio DiPietrantonio (15:11):
There's not a whole lot, or What I will say is that I see a
lot of turnover, of course in restaurants.
Everybody knows that hospitality hasan incredibly high turnover rate, but
even in senior living communities,the turnover rate is just as bad.
I worked at one facility wheretenured service was considered
two years, and I'm like, okay.
(15:33):
But when we.
When I work in the kitchen, I'm working inright now, we have five chefs and that's
unheard of for the ones that I've been in.
Usually it's like one, two,or three people, three working
at one time, if you're lucky.
And they don't tend to staylong just because it is a little
different in the terms of you.
You see the same people every day, and ifthey don't like something, they're going
(15:54):
to tell you in no uncertain terms whatwas wrong with it, why it was wrong, and
why you should be ashamed of yourself.
You have to get very comfortable hearingextremely direct feedback from people.
Yeah.
But that can also be very refreshing.
Yeah.
And when you're working with asenior population, you get to
know them on a deeper level.
These are people you see every day andyou're encouraged to go out and spend
(16:18):
time with them and do activities withthem and engage with their families
and spend time in the dining room.
They even ask us to go out and sharea meal with them at least once a week.
Adam Lamb (16:27):
Yeah.
I, I also worked at asenior living facility.
Yeah.
Nio DiPietrantonio (16:31):
Um,
Adam Lamb (16:32):
and I think the thing that shocked me the most was
I hadn't counted on acknowledging theamount of stress that I put myself under
on a daily basis, and I reflected that.
When you're on the street, it'sjust not that one plate you put out.
It's the 10 people that they're gonna telland the 10 people that they're gonna tell.
(16:53):
And before you know it, I'mliving underneath a bridge in a
cardboard box with my Natty ice.
And so there's that kind of mania that'sexpected, even if it's just a slow burn.
Some people internalize it, don'treally put it out that much, but
it's still that kind of manicdesire to keep everything up.
Which I'm, I'm sure you experienced when,you know you had your little stroke.
(17:15):
I mean, shit.
Gotta keep going.
Gotta keep going.
Nio DiPietrantonio (17:17):
Absolutely.
That's the hustle culture.
Adam Lamb (17:20):
And then you get back into the, you get back into the
senior living facility and all of asudden everybody's like, just chill.
Just chill bad.
Nio DiPietrantonio (17:27):
That's, it was such a culture shock because I was used to just
running back and forth, get to this meal,get to this station, get to this order,
get to this prep, put this away, and thenwhen I get there it's just, oh, we've got
a couple hours to put together this meal.
We have some stuff we gotta put away.
They're starting an activity inan hour and a half if you wanna
go participate in an activity.
(17:48):
And I'm like, what areyou even talking about?
What is an activity?
What do we do?
Adam Lamb (17:53):
Yeah.
And I thought it was, it wassuch an interesting thing.
I was there probably about threeweeks before I recognized, I started
falling in love with the residents and
Nio DiPietrantonio (18:03):
absolutely
Adam Lamb (18:05):
hadn't expected that.
Because to your point,you see them every day.
And I thought that would be a bad thing.
But what I recognize is it'sa perfect feedback loop.
Nio DiPietrantonio (18:16):
Absolutely.
And it, it can be really intimidatingbecause you are gonna meet those people
who are a little extra spicy, I liketo say, and they'll, they'll tell you.
What the hell did you guysdo to dinner last night?
That was the worst thing I ever had.
Oh my God.
And how they'll be like, ohyeah, breakfast was amazing.
Thank you.
Great job.
I'm like, oh, thanks.
Adam Lamb (18:35):
Yeah, thanks.
Nio DiPietrantonio (18:36):
Feedback.
Adam Lamb (18:36):
Yeah, and it's, it's weird to like, um, again, there's
that thing about the energy.
Like I felt my body just settling intoitself and someone pulled me on the side
and like, I was in my, I was in my thing,I was in my jam and someone pulled me
off the side like, what are you doing?
I'm doing my thing, man.
And.
You don't understand.
You got 650 fans here.
(18:59):
They want you to try stuff,they want you to fail.
They want you to like, at leastsomething's changing, right?
They can see it in front of their eyes.
Like they want you to experiment.
So don't think that you're gonna that,that this is a place where they're gonna
criticize you until you walk out thedoor, because it depends on your skillset.
But um, and the other thing that'sprobably a lot of people don't understand.
(19:23):
Who've never worked inthat market segment.
Is that weird thing aboutseeing folks transition?
I.
Nio DiPietrantonio (19:30):
Yes.
Yes.
So if you work, it depends onobviously what community you work in.
Sure.
Because I, I went from originallyindependent care to assisted living care.
And when you move to those communities,you do have people who live in an
independent lifestyle, meaning thatthey, they don't need necessarily medical
assistance or mobility assistance,but when you move into assisted
living, that usually means that youneed help doing something somewhere.
(19:53):
And then we also have what they call amemory care unit, which is for people
who are obviously struggling with, um.
Mental ability or memoryloss, things of that nature.
And when you work in a senior livingcommunity, you do see that transition from
when somebody, it might be independentto moving to assisted living and
eventually up to the memory care unit,and they might start forgetting certain
(20:14):
things or remembering that they don't.
I. That they don't like certain things orthey don't like to eat certain things or
it, and then it's just, it's dishearteningand saddening at the same time.
As much as you love this personbecause you see them every day,
they're part of your family now.
Adam Lamb (20:27):
Yep.
Nio DiPietrantonio (20:28):
And that can be very hard to watch.
Adam Lamb (20:30):
Yeah.
Some folks could be on property for 20years because they spend most of that time
in independent living and whether it'sa little cottage or whatever, and then
they start moving to the interior of theproperty where the more intense care is.
And it's almost.
I got really emotionallyinvested in the residents.
I had a group of, I don't know, 15.
(20:52):
After I got there, they pulled meinto a room, had a meeting with me,
and the one guy is saying, listen,you know I have prostate cancer.
Nio DiPietrantonio (20:59):
I said,
Adam Lamb (20:59):
when I eat the food, my PSA is like 15, and when I stop eating it
and eat at home, it comes down to six.
Adam, you gotta help
Nio DiPietrantonio (21:09):
me.
Adam Lamb (21:09):
Like you gotta help me.
Like I know that food is medicine andif I don't get the right nutrition,
you know it's gonna be short.
But once they moved, it seemed,once they moved into the building,
it was like, yeah, weeks or months.
I. Yeah.
Nio DiPietrantonio (21:27):
And that's a big thing too, is that they care about
flavor as much as anything else.
But we also have to takeinto account nutrition needs.
Yeah.
We have to learn how to cook withoutsalt in a lot of issues, which can be
very challenging for, for some chefs.
Yeah.
Is that you have to learn to create flavorwithout salt or without sometimes fat or
without dairy because you have to caterto a lot of different diverse needs.
Adam Lamb (21:50):
Yeah.
And you're also in partnershipwith a nutritionist.
You submit your menus and thenutritionist comes back, green
beans are a starch, right?
Nio DiPietrantonio (21:58):
Yeah.
Yes.
And uh,
Adam Lamb (22:02):
you've got two starch.
You do have to
Nio DiPietrantonio (22:03):
work with the nutritionist, which is it.
It can be difficult.
I've worked with some goodones and some bad ones.
But a lot of times what I've noticedis that they just, you'll work with
a nutritionist who also doesn'treally know how to cook either.
That's correct.
They'll come up with some of thesecrazy recipes that make absolutely
no sense, and I'm like, howdid you even come up with this?
I'm like, oh, somebody submitted it to us.
I'm like, this is garbage.
They're not gonna eat this.
Adam Lamb (22:25):
It's a very interesting way to work.
You know, wield your craft, likein partnership with these people.
Like to your point, someone'salways coming in with a recipe
like, they wanna try this and Ihad this with my nana, or whatever.
Yeah.
And you're almost kind of,
Nio DiPietrantonio (22:42):
yeah, sure, why not?
Adam Lamb (22:44):
I could sit there and kick my feet or whatever, but it
just seems so much easier justto, yeah, let's be together.
I started a littlenewsletter every week and
Nio DiPietrantonio (22:53):
I love that I
Adam Lamb (22:54):
kept saying, we're all in this together.
I did it.
It wasn't completely altruistic.
They were used to raspberriesin December and I'm like, I only
get so many dollars per month.
Per year.
Yes.
I'd rather spend thaton high quality meats
Nio DiPietrantonio (23:08):
during
Adam Lamb (23:08):
budget.
Yeah.
I started doing a commodity report andthey were like, oh yeah, strawberries
are getting really expensive.
We're gonna stop having, yeah,man, because I wanna keep giving
you this really great, these greatproteins and vegetables, and so
not only are you working in.
In assisted living, senior care, butthen you decide that you're gonna
(23:32):
dedicate a portion of your life to.
Hospitality mental health.
Nio DiPietrantonio (23:36):
Yes.
Yes.
So when I was going through my own mentalhealth struggles is when I actually
discovered the Burnt Chef Project.
And I know you're a big advocateand I'm, I appreciate that.
It was very cool and that I was listeningto Chris Hall doing a podcast when
I was actually doing like Job PostSearchings one time, and he was talking
about how that we shouldn't have togive up doing something that we love
(23:56):
just because everyone's telling usthat it's broken or it's wrong, or.
For whatever reason that it'sfundamentally flawed and that it needs to,
it does need to change, but we shouldn'thave to walk away from it to make it work.
And I was sitting therelike aggressively nodding.
As I'm scrolling through indeedlooking at job postings, I'm
like, okay, why am I doing this?
(24:17):
I don't want to leave, but I need tofigure out a way to make this better.
And what happened during the pandemicis that it was a small group of us
who were actually like in a text-basedchat from different restaurants,
and we were all talking about thedifferent struggles we were having.
So one of our coworkers has twospecial needs kids, and she was
having trouble finding care forthem because in the middle of the
pandemic everything was shut down.
(24:38):
And another one of our.
One of our support group members atthe time wasn't able to afford enough
food, so they were looking for a foodpantry that was still operating in our
area so that they could get groceriesfor the week, and other members
started suggesting resources for that.
They'd be like, oh, check out this.
This pantry on this street, inthis in your area, or check out
like the Autism Society of Mainebecause they might be able to help
(25:01):
you find resources for helpingwith your kids and stuff like that.
And it was that little supportgroup that we decided, why
doesn't everybody have this?
Why doesn't every restaurant havea group of people just willing
to look out for each other?
Adam Lamb (25:16):
Isn't that interesting?
Nio DiPietrantonio (25:18):
Yes, yes.
Especially with how cliquey it can be.
I'm sure you've worked with plenty ofchefs and plenty of groups where it was
very like tight knit and everybody knewwhat was going on in each other's lives,
and that's just, that's what we do.
We see these people sometimes80, 90 hours a week.
We are typically a family.
Whether or not we wanna admit it,
Adam Lamb (25:40):
we are spending more time with them than our families.
Nio DiPietrantonio (25:43):
Yes, I certainly was.
Adam Lamb (25:45):
And so this starts as.
For lack of a better word, no one elseis doing it, so we might as well do it.
Right.
Nio DiPietrantonio (25:53):
Essentially.
Yeah.
We wanted to create, we wanted to takeour support network and make it bigger.
We wanted to be able to include morepeople in it and get more people
involved and try to find more resources.
We wanted to try to find morelike food pantries to help
battle in food insecurity.
We wanted to try to help peoplewith, if they were struggling with
financial problems to help with likedebt counseling and things like that.
The, unfortunately, the pandemic hurt alot of people in a lot of restaurants and
(26:16):
people were struggling to pay their bills.
So trying to find people tohelp with paying bills was good.
And any kind of resourcelike that, that would help.
And, uh, substance use is very high inthe hospitality industry, so trying to
help people find clinics that they couldget into to, to help them battle their.
Their substance use disorders.
That's another big one.
Adam Lamb (26:35):
Yeah.
And
Nio DiPietrantonio (26:36):
trying to collect resources to help all of these
people with these things is what wedecided we wanted to do as a group.
Adam Lamb (26:41):
And so that turned into
Nio DiPietrantonio (26:43):
serving up Support me.
It's a nonprofit organization.
We decided to turn itofficially into an organization.
It's me and two otherformer restaurant managers.
Unfortunately, they're no longer inthe hospitality industry, but they're
invested in helping to make it better.
Adam Lamb (27:00):
Chris Hall from the Burnt Chef Project.
Not a chef, not in the industry.
He was servicing the industry.
He was a salesperson and he kept goinginto these kitchens and just hearing
all the horror stories and said,shit, someone's gotta do something.
But it seems to me, catkins, there'sso many people from the outside
who will listen to our stories,then go, oh, we need to help them.
Nio DiPietrantonio (27:20):
No, like a Sarah McLaughlin commercial.
Adam Lamb (27:22):
No, but I'm just saying, very few of us, very few of us were like going,
oh, let's get together and do somethinguntil the pandemic, which I think.
From my perspective was a good thing.
It hurt a lot of people, and I don'twant to demean that, but I also
understand that this is a greatopportunity for us to reset the
industry, our culture, if not now when.
(27:45):
And some of that's panned out andsome of that hasn't panned out.
So I celebrate the fact thatyou started as a grassroots
organization just because you could.
Nio DiPietrantonio (27:54):
That's exactly what it was, is I wanted
to make a difference here.
I wanted to help more peoplehere because I've unfortunately
lost people to, to overdoses.
I've lost people to alcoholismand I've lost friends just
from just leaving the industry.
People I still talk to, but werejust so burnt out from the way
that they were treated by peopleor by their managers, or just by.
(28:14):
The very nature of thebusiness that they're like,
I just can't do this anymore.
It's crushing my soul.
Yeah.
And I don't want that to keep happening.
I want people to be excitedto be in the industry.
I'm excited to be in the industry.
I just needed to find my niche.
Yeah.
Adam Lamb (28:28):
Like the meme, like I just want chefs to be happy again.
Nio DiPietrantonio (28:31):
Yes.
Essentially.
Adam Lamb (28:33):
I really want them to enjoy their work.
Nio DiPietrantonio (28:34):
Happy chefs create innovative dishes and you can
taste it in the food when they'rehappy and when they're not happy.
Adam Lamb (28:40):
Well, it's no secret that anger cooks make shitty food.
So
Nio DiPietrantonio (28:43):
yes, agreed.
You can taste the impatience.
Adam Lamb (28:48):
And so what does it look like now moving forward for this organization?
I think in 2024 you guys won an award.
You're.
For your efforts?
Nio DiPietrantonio (28:58):
Yes.
We got a best innovative mentalhealth approach for 2024 from best
of best review, which is really cool.
Very unexpected, but very cool.
And it's just, it's nice thatit's being seen as a movement.
It also feels like maybe in a way it's,oh, helping people that's so novel.
(29:20):
And it's just, it feels like if it wasany other industry, it maybe it would've
been taken more seriously earlier, butbecause it's hospitality, and hospitality
is generally seen as being like low incomeor lower skills are needed to do the job,
that it's just seemed like a throwawayjob or a throwaway industry, and it's not.
Hospitality is everything andeverywhere in our society,
Adam Lamb (29:42):
it couldn't be more.
I gotta ask, how you feeling?
Nio DiPietrantonio (29:47):
I'm feeling good.
I'm definitely, one of the challengesof working in senior living is that you
do run the risk of losing residents.
Mm-hmm.
And we actually, within the last twoweeks, we've lost four just from different
things, unfortunately, like memory care,dementia and illness, general illness.
And there were four people Ireally cared about, and it's hard
(30:10):
to have time to process that.
Especially because the care staff alsodoesn't really get a chance to process it.
And these are people that you work closelywith and they don't get the opportunity
to cry and grieve because they havehundreds of other people to take care of.
So you carry that with you and you missit when you don't see those people in the
dining room anymore at their usual tables.
(30:33):
So not having that space to grievethere is challenging, but you have to
make time to grieve and to appreciatethe people for who they were.
And, uh, yeah.
For your emotional healths
Adam Lamb (30:45):
and physically.
Nio DiPietrantonio: Physically, I'm doing better. (30:47):
undefined
I'm doing well.
I do have to take medications for life, itcertain meds that I have to take, but they
keep me happy, they keep me well focused.
All the big free things that Ineed to do my job well, and to
be able to be a better person.
I need to be present for my familyand I need to be present for my
husband and to be who I wanna be.
Adam Lamb (31:08):
And so how long you think you're gonna be able to do this?
Nio DiPietrantonio (31:12):
I'm gonna keep doing it as long as I can.
I, I don't see it ending.
I wanna see us grow.
I wanna see our organization grow.
I wanna see the Burnt Chef Projectgrow because I'm an ambassador.
I wanna bring that.
I would love to have the BurntChef Project in the Burnt Chef
Academy in every restaurant.
I think everyone should takethe courses if they can.
Same thing with likehealthy hospital courses.
Same thing with the chow organization.
I think everyone should go to achow meeting at least once just to
(31:35):
see what it's about, because havingthat catharsis is so important.
Adam Lamb (31:40):
I love the Wednesday night meetings.
I dial in whenever I can.
It's the men's only group, and I'vedone a lot of men's work, so that's a
great environment for me to drop into.
And I love the fact that sobriety is nota prerequisite to being there, right?
So you still have to handle yourself,but the point you can't go and smash.
But, but the point is like,they welcome all and it's, I, I.
(32:06):
I've been beating the drum sinceabout 2008 about these issues and
thought to myself like, no one elseis gonna clean this shit up, man.
This is our mess.
It's our responsibility.
And I know a lot of these organizationswere starting before the pandemic, but
of course, during and after is reallywhere it came up because they think.
(32:26):
To a certain extent, we, the industrylost the narrative because now all of
a sudden the Washington Post and theNew York Times are writing, oh, it's
shit to fucking work in restaurants.
Okay dude, we do that allalong, thanks very much.
But now the outside world knows that,but there's, I don't know if there's
some, like a certain amount of honoror props that we give to one another
(32:46):
for slogging it out or for being inthe grind and patting each other on the
back and trying to outdo one another.
I think that.
That badge of of courage is, isreally misplaced because I think we
continue to egg each other on even now.
Nio DiPietrantonio (33:04):
Oh yeah.
Adam Lamb (33:05):
And until a chef from a hotel or a chef from a restaurant
can meet a chef from a senior livingfacility and go, yeah, dude, you got it.
Restaurants close at seven o'clockat night, you're going home to kids.
I'm still at the job like, oh yeah,each particular job has its own thing.
But I think that there's a certainamount of, I don't wanna say respect,
(33:29):
but I. Grace that we should be givingone another no matter what market
segment we work in, because we're alldealing with the same stuff and it's
just a little different on each end.
And I, there were, I hadbeen shamed a couple times.
I had a, a sous chef who said to me on theline, he's getting ready for a Saturday
night and a little Italian bistro, andhe's like, dude, I'm quitting, dude,
(33:52):
you've been here like seven years.
What do you mean you're quitting?
Yep.
Going to healthcare.
Healthcare.
What do you what?
That's such a great transition.
And he said it very simply to me,he's, I wanna be home for my kids.
And I'm like, oh, now that's somebody whoreally knows what his core values are.
And I didn't know what theywere mine like owing mine.
(34:12):
Like I spent so much time chasing thepinnacle of my career that my children
spent a lot of time like without me.
And even though as they're grownnow, I. They have a lot of compassion
and for me, and they're like, no,dude, you were the, you were great.
You were a great father.
I know, I know.
Like I could have done thingsdifferently, but at the time I only did
(34:35):
what I did because that's all I knew.
And having said that,
I'm just, I feel very grateful to behere, to be talking to you, be talking
about things like the Burn Chef project,about you serving up support Maine.
I think these are things that arevery positive and anything I can do
to support you, I want to do that.
Nio DiPietrantonio (34:53):
I'm so grateful and I appreciate that.
And same with you.
I love listening to you.
I love listening to Chef Life Radio.
I learned a lot.
I did the, I was listening to yourlast episode about like adaptivity
and adaptability and how that'sa skill that can be nurtured.
And I had to take a step back and thinkabout it and I'm like, you know what?
That's true.
And no one ever really putit that way to me before.
Mm-hmm.
(35:13):
So I learned a lot from that too.
Thanks.
You have to teach how to be adaptable,and that's not something I think anybody
talks about in the restaurant industry.
Adam Lamb (35:21):
Yeah.
I've come down to this one simplestatement, which is like, nobody
teaches leadership in culinary school.
Yeah.
And at some point we all need to leadE, even if we just lead ourselves.
'cause of course you can't lead anybodyelse if you're not leading yourself.
But the point is like getting throwna set of keys and now I'm the chef.
That's the recipe for disaster.
(35:42):
So that
Nio DiPietrantonio (35:42):
field promotion,
Adam Lamb (35:43):
like you, I wanna leave this industry better.
Then when I found it, because as manycrazy times, as many hard times, as
many frustrating and, and, and sadtimes, I also had some amazing times
and it has really been a gift to me.
So I wanna make sure that I do everythingpossible to, uh, be a resource to others
(36:05):
because I don't want to have anotherhospitality professional take their own
lives because they didn't feel seen,heard, or had access to resources because.
That's bullshit.
Nio DiPietrantonio (36:15):
It is.
And maybe some of it is alittle bit generational too.
My own mentor who I adore this, the chefwho literally taught me everything I know.
I still talk to him regularly.
He thinks I'm crazy.
He says, I don't.
I appreciate what you're trying to do.
I just don't think it's gonna work.
I don't think it's gonna go anywhere.
This is like a 65-year-old chef.
Sure.
I love death.
He's amazing.
But that's, he's A-A-C-I-Agraduate and he was an instructor.
(36:38):
He, if he doesn't think that we can changeit, that can be a little demoralizing,
but I wanna make it better for him too.
I want you to see thatwe can make this better.
We can do better for you.
We can do better for everybody else.
He even used to tell me howhe missed his entire child.
His kids growing up because hewas busy working or busy teaching,
and he regrets that he regretsnot being there for his kids.
(36:59):
Like how you were saying he is.
He is a great father.
He's a great man, but he has so manyregrets for not being there, for
his family, and we can find balance.
We can find a way to make this work forpeople regardless of what stage you are.
Adam Lamb (37:13):
I couldn't agree more because.
To be frank, everybodywants to blame the industry.
We're the industry,
Nio DiPietrantonio (37:20):
right?
I, we're only as good asour industry and right.
We have to make it better.
Adam Lamb (37:23):
Like how, like I say, very often that I've been trained, shamed,
and conditioned to be the way I am.
Because there was always somebodylooking at me like outta the corner.
And when you think about it.
Comparison is the death of joy, right?
Yes.
If you're comparing yourselfto someone else constantly, but
that's what our industry does.
Every single competitions or whateverdown the street and you cook,
(37:44):
comparing yourself to someone elseand never quite, that was the original
Instagram to be in this industry, yo.
But that is also a recipefor disaster because it.
It skews the journey of youdiscovering what you're possible.
So to your mentor, I would say, dude, justbecause you made that choice doesn't mean
(38:06):
you have to continue to make that choice.
It's that simple, and when enoughof us decide that we're gonna create
something different, it'll happen.
It's just a point of leverage.
There's a certain amount of energythat needs to build up before things
start changing, and it's not gonnabe, listen, we could just sit there
(38:27):
and go, okay, it'll never change.
And then it won't exactly.
But we certainly have no ideawhat's possible unless we try.
Nio DiPietrantonio (38:36):
I remember when I started my management training, granted
this was when I was 18, I had no businessbeing a manager, but again, somebody
didn't show up for their job, so Igot a battlefield promotion and when I
started my training, they actually hadus watch a video called The Lone Dancer.
I don't know if you've ever seen or ifyou know what that is, but it's this
little video of a guy I think he's at.
A Woodstock concert or something,something crazy like a hippie, everybody,
(38:58):
right, go to music and et cetera.
Dance.
Dance.
And this one guy gets up and he startsdancing and he looks a little silly
doing it, but eventually one personwill join him and another person will
join him and eventually he's got awhole crowd of people dancing with him.
And the, obviously the message ofthat is that you do eventually.
Have to be that one crazy lone dancer.
If you want other people to join you,and you do have to put yourself out
(39:20):
there, you have to look a little crazyto, to get people to, to join you.
I love it.
If they don't feel heard,they're not gonna be with you.
So I guess I have to be the lone,crazy dancer and I'm glad that
you're up there dancing with you.
I'll
Adam Lamb (39:31):
dance with you anytime, Christopher, you.
Nio DiPietrantonio (39:34):
They can find me on on Instagram.
We are at serving up.
Support me as our Instagram handle.
I'm on LinkedIn, Neo duped.
Antonio, we have a Facebookpage for both that and LinkedIn
page for serving up support me.
We have also a, a place on our websitewhere if you are struggling with
anything, you can contact us and we willhelp you find resources in your area.
We are not just exclusiveto Maine or New England.
(39:56):
We will help you no matter where you are.
We will help you find resourcesfor what you're struggling with.
Adam Lamb (40:01):
Thank you very much for what you're doing, chef.
Nio DiPietrantonio (40:03):
Of course, we owe it to us.
We owe it to ourselves andwe owe it to our industry.
Adam Lamb (40:07):
I look forward to having you back very soon.
Nio DiPietrantonio (40:09):
Thank you so much, chef Adam.
I'm so grateful for your time.
Adam Lamb (40:12):
That's a wrap for today's episode of Chef Life Radio.
If this resonated with you, do me a favor,subscribe, share, and leave a review.
Your feedback helps us reach moreculinary leaders like you who are ready
to take their kitchens to the next level.
Want more connect with me onLinkedIn, Instagram, or join our Chef
Life Radio community for exclusiveinsights and leadership tools.
(40:33):
Remember, leadershipisn't about perfection.
It's about progress.
So take what you've learned todayand apply it in your kitchen,
your team, and your life.
Chef Life Radio is more thanjust a podcast, it's a movement.
The focus is no longer just on careersurvival, but on transforming leadership,
creating sustainability, and ensuringchefs can build kitchens that thrive.
Remember, the secret ingredientto culinary success isn't just in
(40:56):
the food, it's in the leadership.
Keep learning, keepgrowing, and as always.
Lead with the heart.
See you next time.
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