June 19, 2025 • 33 mins
In this episode of Chef Life Radio, I sit down with Kimberly Flear, founder of Last Call Coaching, to discuss mental health challenges in the hospitality industry and the importance of creating a recovery-friendly workplace.
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Kimberly shares her personal journey and the initiatives she champions, such as breathwork, body movement, and post-shift debriefs, as strategies to combat burnout and emotional strain.
We explore the need for a cultural shift towards support and accountability, emphasizing the importance of meeting people where they are and the long-term vision of changing industry norms.
Chapters
00:00 - Introduction and Episode Overview
00:21 - Meet Kimberly Flear: Mental Health Advocate
02:03 - The Stigma of Mental Health in Hospitality
03:30 - Kimberly's Personal Journey and Industry Challenges
10:09 - Pathways to Recovery and Support Systems
20:20 - Self-Care Practices and Personal Growth
25:57 - Future Vision and Industry Change
31:46 - Conclusion and Final Thoughts
Links In The Show
Stay Tall & Frosty and Lead from Your Heart,
Adam
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Adam M Lamb (00:05):
Welcome back to the Show Chef.
What if the bravest thing thatyou could do was to ask for help?
In an industry where long hours highheat and silent suffering are worn like
badges of honor, it's easy to forgetthat we're humans first, chef's second.
That's why I sat down with KimberlyFlear founder of Last Call Coaching.
(00:25):
A leader in mental health wellness forhospitality professionals for real.
Talk on what it takes to shift theculture from burnout to support
Kimberly's not talking from theory.
She's lived it, and in this episodeshe breaks down why breath work
and body movement aren't soft.
They're strategic.
How to spot the signs of emotionalstrain before it turns into a crisis
(00:48):
and what it really means to createa recovery friendly workplace.
We talk about the pressure to perform.
Stories we don't tell and howoften conversations can be the
first step towards a kitchenthat actually feels safe.
If you've ever felt like you hadto leave parts of yourself outside
the walk-in just to get throughthe day, this one's for you.
(01:08):
We'll get into all that and muchmore right after this message.
This is Chef Life Radio andI'm your host Chef Adam Lamb.
I'm a culinary career coach dedicatedto assisting hospitality professionals
just like you who enjoy their careerswithout having to sacrifice their lives.
I coach chefs on leadership,communication, culture.
(01:31):
And relationship mastery.
If you've lost your passion, purpose,or drive, you either want to move
up or out, then let's connect.
Go to chef life coaching.com/discovery,and now let's get to the good stuff.
We're thrilled to have Kimberlyflir here with us on the show.
Kimberly Flear (01:49):
Thanks, Adam.
Adam M Lamb (01:50):
And first off, gotta ask, how you feeling?
Kimberly Flear (01:53):
Yeah, I'm feeling really good.
It's Friday.
I live in a beautiful place.
I feel good in my body.
Gratitude is the superpower of the day.
Adam M Lamb (02:03):
You know, here on the show, longtime listeners know that, uh, we
pound the drum pretty religiously around.
Um, the stigma of, of mental health,uh, hospitality industry and the fact
that we haven't been very good stewardsover human capital for a long time.
And these things went unnoticed andunrecognized and was chalked up to,
(02:24):
yeah, that's the way it's gonna be.
So, you know, either youcan hang with it or not.
What we've come to understand, especiallythrough the pandemic, is we can do
a lot better as the founder and leadfacilitator of Last Call Coaching.
Over the last several months, I've noticedthat you've become a very focused voice
on places like LinkedIn, talking aboutthe stigma of mental health issues in the
(02:48):
hospitality industry, and you're just notgonna put up with that bullshit anymore.
Kimberly Flear (02:53):
I'm not gonna put up with it.
No.
You know, it's really, I think about beinga voice for those who don't have one.
We're silenced by stigma and we'reliving in a culture that represents
that it's always been this wayand that there is no other way.
And I'm here to kind of challengethose industry norms and be a little
bit disruptive in the process.
(03:16):
And I think that's quite anature of someone who comes
from the hospitality industry.
We are known to be a little disruptive.
You know, we kind of don'tconform to society's rules.
We kind of take on thatmisfit kind of personality.
And so after my own journey ofstruggling pretty intensely with some
self-destructive behaviors, habits,patterns, all which were fueled
(03:39):
by the industry, not necessarilystarting in the industry, but what
happened is the industry attracted me.
So I could escape.
So I could numb out.
And I think that's a missing component ina lot of the conversations and a lot of
the awareness that's being brought forwardis that we're dealing with a group of
individuals who someone are looking forthat escape or looking for that kind of
(04:06):
just outside the nine to five, somethingthat allows them to constantly be like
the dopamine rush of a busy service.
The adrenaline, the instantgratification, all of those are
not necessarily recognized as beingsomething that can hinder mental
health, if not addressed properly.
Adam M Lamb (04:27):
Yeah.
Kind of underlying culture of instantgratification and how in my career
that really served me, you know,I got into the industry ultimately
because I was a, I didn't know it inthe moment, but once I got into it, I
was kinda like looking for a communityand a place to be, you know, fully me.
(04:47):
Anthony Bourdain is on record as saying,you know, the kitchen's one of the last
great merit autocracies, and it's trueif you can kick ass on your station.
Nobody really gives a shit.
You know, they don't care whereyou come from, what color you are,
what your background is, and veryoften they don't give a shit about
what you're doing in your off time.
So speak to me about how your careerhas influenced what you're doing now.
Kimberly Flear (05:14):
Yeah, it, it's so embedded with every corner of what I do.
You know, I have a plaque on my wall oflived experience spending 25 plus years
in the industry and not necessarilyreally recognizing the problem.
When I was in it in my twenties, itwas fun, and I got to travel and I
(05:34):
was really good at my job, but thingsstarted to deteriorate pretty quickly.
There was no help there.
You know, I kept losingjobs for drinking on shift.
I kind of say sometimes the industryate me up and spit me out without a
resource in hand, and so that's reallywhat sparked something inside of me.
(05:56):
Once I cleared my own head, I had totake a step away from the industry.
I had to take a step away, so I took acouple of years off, and in that time
just really reflected on my own journey.
And then got hit with a tragedy oflosing a friend who was also an industry
veteran who walked a similar path.
You know, he couldn't keep a job.
By the end, he was gettinglet go and bouncing around
(06:18):
from restaurant to restaurant.
And again, just as you said, nobodyquestions what we're bringing with us.
As long as you can do your job well, nomatter the state of mind that you're in,
you know, there were days where we weresurfing tables and with no sleep, right?
Some of us are still high on whateverit was that we took that morning.
And I've worked in some really highreputation places and nobody questions it
(06:41):
because as long as you get the job done.
And so in 2021, that's really whenit sparked this desire and this pull
towards wanting to help the industry.
I give credit to the industry foreverything that I was, everything
I am and everything I will be.
I hit the road at.
(07:01):
15 years old, I found community.
I found people who gave meattention and the care and the
love I didn't receive as a child.
And so
that's where it kicked off.
And I love everything about thisindustry, but I love it so much that
(07:25):
it can't continue the way that it is.
Yeah.
Or it's not going to survive.
The new generation is not gonna take it.
More establishments aregonna recognize this.
More organizations are gonna realizetheir doors are gonna have to, you
know, it's not gonna look good forthem if we don't start taking action
and taking care of our people, justlike we take care of our guests.
(07:46):
Without the guests, we have no business,without the staff, we have no business.
Adam M Lamb (07:52):
That really lands with me because I'm also thinking about.
Our responsibility to takeaccountability, right?
For the things that happen to us, thesituations that we put ourselves in.
You know, here on the show, we liketo say we are the industry because
looking over there to say it wastheir problem, or the industry did
(08:14):
it to me or nobody gave a shit aboutthat may in all be true, but that.
Comes from point of havingno power to change anything.
So to actually acknowledge, nope, nobodyforced me to put that thing up my nose.
Nobody forced me to go to the, youknow, and just having that really shitty
feeling about, oh fuck, I did it again.
(08:36):
So, yeah, we need to takeaccountability for it.
We need to acknowledge, you know, ourpart in not only, you know, taking
part in it, but also facilitating anenvironment where that stuff could happen.
I remember very clearly.
Watching a line cook on lunch.
You know, just sweat and bullets, becauseI know he'd been out all night because
I had been there with him, and I'mlike, I'm not gonna bail you out, dude.
(08:59):
You're out there playing.
Then this is the pricethat you're gonna pay.
But I think I mentioned ourlast conversation together.
I wrote a blog post where themain premise of it was, chef,
I'm feeling a little itchy.
I need to get to a meeting today.
Said, no line cook ever.
Right.
Because even then it's shame.
Kimberly Flear (09:20):
Absolutely.
Adam M Lamb (09:21):
Like we created an environment where people felt ashamed
to need to take space for their own.
Like not, that's not even recovery.
That's, I just need tolike change the vibe.
You know, do a pattern interrupt.
Because so much of my experience waslike, and again, and I thought that
(09:41):
was very courageous of you just saying,Nope, I gotta heal myself first.
You went to a cabin in BC and yousat there with yourself and you were
determined to heal that part of you.
That was, you know, jonesing forrecognition and acknowledgement and you
know, I think the addiction starts a lotsooner than we find any substances because
(10:03):
it's that addiction to Yeah, the dopamine.
Kimberly Flear (10:09):
I don't think that's something that's talked about enough is
that dopamine I, you know, I talk a lotabout different initiatives that we can
implement into organizations, and oneof them that I think where we're missing
a big piece of it is that post shift.
Adam M Lamb (10:24):
Yeah,
Kimberly Flear (10:24):
pre-shift is great.
Take the pulse on your teamand find out what's happening.
But post shift is where the energy,the adrenaline, the need to come down.
Is quite often where we go and use orwe go out, and I certainly don't wanna
come across like I'm trying to take thefun or suck the vibe out of the industry
(10:47):
because I wanna keep it as uniqueand fun and keep it for what it is.
Yeah.
But not at the expense of someonewho can't keep their shit together.
Or someone who's suffering in silence orneeds to go to a meeting but can't ask
because nobody else will support them.
Right.
So I think we just have a really greatopportunity in front of us to start
(11:12):
addressing these things consistently.
Not a workshop around mentalhealth and burnout prevention.
And then walk away.
Right?
Adam M Lamb (11:20):
Yeah.
Kimberly Flear (11:20):
And that's big.
That's to me, sometimes itfeels like a larger than life
project that I'm working on.
I think there's also a misconceptionaround the pathways to recovery, and this
is also something that's really, you know,embedded into my work, is recognizing
that there's multiple pathways.
And I think the more that we continueto do this work around hospitality
(11:43):
platforms and spaces will open up,that can cater specifically to the
unique needs of our industry becauseit's a different beast, I believe.
Mm-hmm.
And I think that.
As we continue to have more of theseconversations and implement these
strategies and systems, opportunities aregonna be available for people like-minded
(12:03):
from the industry to come together.
There's already people out there doing it,you know, Ben's friends and Chow has these
meetings where we can come together andtalk industry shit together, and that's
really supportive and really needed.
Adam M Lamb (12:15):
Yeah, I love the Wednesday child meetings for men.
Kimberly Flear (12:17):
Yeah,
Adam M Lamb (12:18):
I love it.
I've done men's work for many yearsand to be able to show up makes a very
clear distinction is like sobrietyis not a prerequisite to attending.
So if you're just getting off shift andyou've had a couple beers, we welcome
that because I've been in circles where,you know, if you are not stone cold
sober, they don't want any part of you.
(12:39):
And that's kind of a little bit ofrigidity that I push back against as well.
Ben's friends is a great organization.
I saw a post the other day aboutan after shift mocktail thing where
people are like learning how to makedifferent alcohol free drinks, but
as a way to get together that doesn'tnecessarily have alcohol attached to it.
(13:01):
I have a friend in Philadelphia,chef Maria Campbell, who runs an
organization where they regularly.
Think up ways to get industry veteransor industry participants together
that doesn't have alcohol involved?
Kimberly Flear (13:15):
No, and it's okay if people have a couple, like my philosophy
is I meet people where they're at.
Adam M Lamb (13:20):
Yep.
It's not
Kimberly Flear (13:21):
complete abstinence.
It's not sucking the fun out.
You don't have to come in the forestand zen out and you know you can
still live a high quality, fun life.
Adam M Lamb (13:30):
Yeah.
Kimberly Flear (13:31):
But eventually it will take its toll if anyone's listening and
they find themselves who've been in theindustry, you know, 15, 20 years, like
myself, I woke up at the age of 38.
The party was well over and it wasstill doing cocaine for breakfast.
This is not sustainable, right?
So it's really about meeting peoplewhere they're at, and those that do need
(13:51):
help know that it's available to them.
Adam M Lamb (13:54):
And just a little science for everybody, you know, a lot of it has to
do with flooding the brain with dopamine.
And what happens is the brain canonly take in so much dopamine.
So what it does is it startsto thin out the receptors.
And when people enter in recovery,or even just decide to do, oh, I'm
gonna do dry January or whatever.
Very often, those first week to 10 daysis pretty morose because now all of a
(14:18):
sudden there are fewer receptors for thatdopamine, but there's a lot less dopamine.
I need to understand that the brainself regulates beautifully and
it in response to lower dopamine,it opens up more receptor sites.
Yeah.
So you gotta stick with it, man.
Day at a time, moment at a time.
And I know lots of people who
(14:39):
in sobriety achieved a success thatthey never thought was possible
just because they're clearer.
Kimberly Flear (14:47):
That me Never thought possible.
Adam M Lamb (14:50):
Yeah.
Kimberly Flear (14:51):
Never thought possible.
And I think, you know, the, the dopaminerush, not even even alcohol and drugs
aside, the dopamine rush that comesfrom a busy, high vibes surface.
Mm-hmm.
If we can address that afterservice in a healthy way.
Right.
Again, you're rewiring your brain andyou're creating your neural pathways.
(15:15):
So the come down after servicedoesn't have to be so intense.
There's many tips and tricksthat we can do after service.
Adam M Lamb (15:24):
So mention a couple that you know.
Okay, so I don't, and I don'twanna try this because I'm
listening to this podcast.
I'm like, what the hell do I have to lose?
Kimberly Flear (15:29):
Yeah.
Great.
So I'm all about body movement.
Mm-hmm.
Because we gotta move the energy thatall that energy needs to go somewhere.
What we're doing with drugs andalcohol is we're suppressing it and
now it's still stuck in our energybody, so we gotta move the body.
So even just to go out dancing is greatif you have to do it at home by yourself.
If you're not comfortable doing it withoutalcohol, because I know that can be
(15:51):
really awkward at first, but definitelybody movement is really important.
Connecting to the breath, even a little 10minute breath yes, can totally ground you.
I have been doing breath workfor the last couple of years.
It's been transformative.
So grounding ourselves with breath.
There's a little trick called EFT Tapping.
(16:13):
These are all really like energeticpractices, so I've been doing tapping for
years and it's really helped me as well.
Again, we gotta shift thatenergy and create the space.
So dancing, breath tapping, evenjournaling, having a deep conversation
with a friend, a vulnerable conversationwith a friend, unpacking the
(16:33):
service that you just went through.
Right.
So many times we walk out the doorafter service and we leave it at the
door and that's great, but we're notmaybe addressing some things that
had surfaced for us during that time.
And so again, we're suppressing it withdrugs and alcohol, whereas if we talk
it through or journal about it or havesome kind of outlet that is safe in a
(16:54):
safe container, that can really help too.
'cause then we're not carryingit with a, in a mental state.
Um,
Adam M Lamb (17:01):
God, there's so much in there.
So first thing I want toacknowledge is the whole somatic.
Yeah, principle of energy that's lockedup in your body because there are certain
people who believe that, you know thatenergy stuck in the body and not exercised
out metastasizes as a physical entityin the body, and that's where chronic
illness comes right, wrong or whatever.
(17:24):
But that movement also, if we'rereally about a recovery friendly
workplace, and let's not even call itrecovery friendly, let's talk about.
An environment where we respect andhonor everybody's mental health.
What would it look like to get theteam together at the end of the shift
for five minutes and say, okay, let'sdebrief everybody first, take a deep
(17:45):
breath in and out, and then let's talkabout some of the things that happened.
Not to like berate anybody.
It's a great opportunity to celebratesuccesses and also give everybody
an opportunity to like just dump.
And I like walking.
Just walk with someone elseand then have the conversation.
Yeah, which is really cool.
(18:05):
I mean, I think sometimes a very goodfriend of mine who I took talked to
last night, and we would go alwaysout to the smoke pit and we'd sit
there silently next to one another.
There's 30 people out in the smoke pit,and here and I are over in the corner
and we're not talking because we'rekind of self isolating in that moment.
But by the same token, you don'tnecessarily need to smoke to go out and.
(18:26):
Create a space where you can justbreathe and just be by yourself for 10
minutes so that you can get recenteredbefore going into the environment.
So I love all those ideas.
I think they're fantastic.
You mentioned that it seems like aproblem too big to solve, and the
question for you is it must be soinspiring that it pulls you forward
(18:48):
as opposed to pushes you forward.
Can you speak to that a little bit?
Kimberly Flear (18:53):
Yeah.
That larger than life project.
I feel like I'm a tiny voice, butI'm a loud creature or something
is coming to me like because I amjust one, you know, individual.
But the pull is because Ihave conversations like this.
There's no pushing, there'sno, I did that for too long.
This is about passion and impact.
(19:18):
And so I get pulled and drawntowards intuitively the people
that resonate with my work.
Adam M Lamb (19:24):
Mm-hmm.
Kimberly Flear (19:25):
Who wanna have these conversations, who are
open and willing to change.
So I don't know if that's answeringyour question, but I'm pulled
towards the leaders in this space.
And that's what allows me to keep going.
I have yet to meet one person.
Maybe there's a coupleof naysayers on LinkedIn.
Adam M Lamb (19:46):
I saw one comment yesterday.
Okay,
Kimberly Flear (19:47):
yeah.
We won't go there.
I think everybody that I speak to is allfor this and wants to support this, and
no one has said, stop, don't do this.
Or, you know.
There are people that will ignore me.
There are people that maybe will saythings, you know, when I'm not in the
(20:08):
room, but for the most part, there is nodenying that this culture needs a shift.
Yeah.
So
Adam M Lamb (20:20):
what do you do for your own self-care?
Kimberly Flear (20:22):
So I live quietly in the forest in a cabin alone with no children.
So I've created a very spaciouslife that allows me to have a
really beautiful self-care practice.
Um, I, when I got sober, Ieliminated a lot of distractions
as well because I knew, you know,like I don't have a big screen tv.
(20:44):
I don't scroll social.
I use LinkedIn as a tool, notas a way to numb or be mindless.
So self care for me looks like.
So I cold plunge every day.
I swim in the Pacific Ocean every day.
Now, obviously it gets warmer inthe summer, so I have to switch
to cold showers, but that practicealone has been one of the most
(21:09):
transformative I've ever experienced.
You know, this winterit was like minus eight.
Two feet of snow, which is prettyrare for the Sunshine Coast.
Mm-hmm.
Sure.
And going down in my robe and slippinginto that freezing cold water,
like that strength, that's clarity.
There's a lot.
(21:29):
It also
Adam M Lamb (21:29):
produces some pretty incredible physiological changes in
the body when you're submerge yourselfin cold water and it drives all the
blood to the center of the organs.
Kimberly Flear (21:38):
Yeah.
Adam M Lamb (21:38):
It's, you wanna
Kimberly Flear (21:39):
talk about dopamine?
I mean, boom.
Right?
There isn't many other things organicallythat feel so good when you come outta the
water, every cell in your body is alive.
I think that's one.
Apart from last call coaching.
I think that my cold plungingwill be the legacy I leave behind.
I've gotten quite a fewof my friends into it.
Adam M Lamb (21:55):
It feels so good right after the pain stops.
Kimberly Flear (21:58):
Yeah.
The first like 15 to 45seconds is, what am I doing?
But then once I'm in, I spend,I'm up to about 10 minutes,
so I've really trained myself.
Adam M Lamb (22:07):
You're a polar bear.
Kimberly Flear (22:08):
Yeah.
And then, you know, we spoke earlier aboutenergy practices and this has been vital
in my healing journey and my self-care.
I took the route of energypractices such as breath work.
I do Qigong, I do yoga.
Very connected to nature.
I spend a lot of time out innature by the sea or in the forest.
(22:32):
I'm constantly looking to improve myself.
I'm always learning whether it's differentleadership styles or coaching practices,
or I'm generally constantly absor.
Not constantly, but when Icreate the space absorbing
information to to better myself.
I'm on a mission, you know,for my own personal journey
to feel and to live from my.
(22:53):
Most optimal timeline.
I know, you know, from thehighest version of myself.
And then by extension, because Ilive that way, I'm able to support
others in doing the same becauseintegrity is one of my core values.
So if I don't walk the walk and talkthe talk, then I'm out of alignment.
Right?
Adam M Lamb (23:10):
I was facilitating men's weekend two years ago, or three
years ago, and one of the guys wasa member of kind of an alpha group.
And he looked at me over the fireplace andhe is like, dude, how the fuck can you be
doing this man, look at you, you're fat.
As a way of kind of like beingout of integrity with the work.
(23:30):
And that kind of pushed me back alittle bit so far as to understand that
was his viewpoint, his perspective,but it didn't naturally land with me.
But you know, I've hadsome challenges physically.
I've had a laminectomy Fusion in 2007.
The last five years it was in, I wasin constant pain and didn't understand
that it had broken in several differentplaces and so had to have it all
(23:51):
pulled out and pulled back in again.
So for me, the recovery has been along road, but I continue to focus
on what I like to call the 1% weigh,which is my only objective is to
be 1% better than I was yesterday.
That might mean, you know, one pound morewalking, 10 minutes more like whatever
that looks like to be just 1% betterthan yesterday as an idea of round.
(24:15):
Kaizen, you know, small stepsover time, yield big results.
She said, you know, you gotta designthe alliance with your coaching clients.
I said, design the alliance.
I'm like, what the, and shehas a, she has a process that
she walks everybody through.
So this is the alliance that we're gonna.
Agree to, and these are thenon-negotiables day looks like
(24:36):
how I spend each of those blocks.
What does my perfect day look likeand how close to can I get to actually
achieving that every day from whereI live, the things that are in it,
you know, do I go running, do I hike?
Whatever that is.
So how often am I fit consciouslychoosing, you know, what I want my
(24:56):
day, or am I just getting pulled along?
And for years and years and years,especially in the hospitality industry.
I was just pulled along, man,and, and not right, not wrong,
but it's just like having theacknowledgement, like understanding
that is a risk in the industry.
And let's face it, in the eightiesthere was this huge confluence of
some perfect elements that cametogether to make working in the
(25:18):
industry really cool, you know?
And lots of people werecoming into the industry.
As a matter of fact, I remember,you know, getting 500 resumes for
a single position in the kitchen,and that lasted until it didn't.
And so it wasn't really incumbent upon usas leaders or the industry to really look
hard at how we were treating folks becausethere was always someone else and back.
(25:40):
Even though looking back, I thinkall of us can probably recognize
how we were treated that way andlike we didn't fucking like it then.
But
when 6 million people leave theindustry, what a huge opportunity.
What a great reset to rethink everything.
What is your biggest hopefor last call coaching?
For this year, for 2025,
Kimberly Flear (26:03):
just to keep putting the building blocks together.
I'm going to to continueto be consistent for 2025
more awareness, more education.
There's some loose partnershipsin the works right now with some
people in Oregon, constantlygetting my name out there.
(26:25):
My training's out there.
This is a long-term game, so it'shard to condense it into one year.
I think that 2025 is reallyjust about laying the foundation
and working with people who are openand willing to begin this shift.
I believe that being a catalystfor this kind of change is huge.
Once we get that momentum going,like a snowball, the momentum's
(26:48):
just gonna continue to buildand build and then over time.
We can start to see greater change.
Adam M Lamb (26:59):
And what is your biggest fear for the industry?
Kimberly Flear (27:08):
Well, that people are resistant to change.
I, my biggest fear is that welose another 6 million people.
I don't think I bring a lot offear to the table, to be honest.
That's, I kind of like when I tapinto fear, I think that the only fear
(27:33):
that lives in me is with my own ability.
Like it's, it's the personal development.
That's the fear.
It's not this industry's gonna shiftor else there will be no industry.
Right.
Exactly.
Right.
It's not whether it's 15 years,20 years, whatever it is.
There's not a lot of fear in that.
Um.
(27:54):
It's continuing to show up for myself,putting myself out there, doing
those uncomfortable things, havingthe uncomfortable conversations that
nobody wants to have, being vulnerable.
This level of work that I'm doinghas brought forth like far out.
I thought I did all the healing when Igot sober, but like entrepreneurship and
putting my neck out and talking aboutaddiction in hospitality has surfaced
(28:14):
all the little critters again that I haveto look at with my own self-development.
But that's beautiful and amazing.
That doesn't mean thatI'm afraid and I'm gonna.
Curl up under a, a rock out herein the forest and not do it.
Sure.
To me, that's the pull forward, right.
To continue to do this workis leaning into that fear.
Adam M Lamb (28:34):
I, uh, just want to acknowledge you for your
tenacity, your authenticity,your vision for an industry where
recovery isn't a bad word.
Kimberly Flear (28:46):
Yeah, like I picture, like I have this vision of walking into
restaurants and there's a little plaqueon the wall that just acknowledges,
Hey, this restaurant is recoveryfriendly, or whatever term or labeled.
It doesn't have to say that, but do youknow like just some kind of recognition.
You know, we can put TripAdvisorreviews all over and, but how
(29:07):
are we treating our staff?
Let's start acknowledging that.
And of course, I picture mylittle pineapple on that.
I gotta brand it.
I gotta brand that plaque.
Um, well, you gotta,
Adam M Lamb (29:15):
you gotta, you gotta be careful about the pineapple price.
Kimberly Flear (29:17):
I know I heard this.
I know.
But it is the symbol of hospitalityand I'm gonna go with it.
Adam M Lamb (29:22):
You go down to some of the oldest towns in New England and
the houses have very often either apicture of a codfish above the door or
a pineapple because it was represented.
Success
Kimberly Flear (29:36):
and let's be honest, hospitality staff are no
surprise to be swingers as well.
So I know there's more to the pineapple,but I think it's really great and I
just have this big vision of, of peoplereally stepping up and putting their
staff just as important as their guests.
Adam M Lamb (29:52):
Well, please consider myself and Chef Life Radio and Chef
Life Coaching as part of your alliancebecause we want to be where you're at.
And we say to you, come on board, becauseone more makes it all the more merrier.
Kimberly Flear (30:08):
I'm grateful to be here.
Adam M Lamb (30:09):
And so currently you're doing one-on-one coaching, correct?
Kimberly Flear (30:12):
Yep.
So I do one-on-one coaching.
Adam M Lamb (30:14):
And are you planning on moving into group
coaching with organizations?
I.
Kimberly Flear (30:19):
Yes.
Yeah.
So the bigger picture, like I love doingthe one-on-one support, and that was
originally where my whole business planand structure was created to support the
chefs and the servers and the bartenders.
Right.
But after a lot of reflection and havinga lot of conversations with people,
I. Employers, I believe, are reallywhere the shift needs to take place.
And so implementing programs toaddress turnover staff, like staff
(30:44):
retention, guest satisfaction, allof those components that are affected
by not taking care of our staff.
Yeah, so working one-on-onewith employers to implement
these trainings and workshops.
There's multiple ways.
That we could do that.
So I think it starts from the top.
And more impact can be made when you'rein front of a large organization.
Adam M Lamb (31:04):
Sure.
I mean, if nothing else to have, uh,the buy-in from upper management.
Yeah.
He understands what you're trying to do.
And so if someone wanted to get in touchwith you to learn more about you and
what you're doing, how do they do that?
Kimberly Flear (31:19):
Yeah, great.
So I'm really active on LinkedInas we mentioned before, so you can
definitely find me on LinkedIn.
My website is last callcoaching.com, so the best way
would be LinkedIn or my website,
Adam M Lamb (31:30):
and we'll make sure that we have all those links in the show notes.
I. Kimberly Flear thanksso much for being with us.
Kimberly Flear (31:36):
Thanks, Adam.
I love spending time with you.
It's
Adam M Lamb (31:38):
awesome.
Yeah, I love it.
Kimberly Flear (31:39):
Yeah, I look forward to it.
Adam M Lamb (31:46):
That's it for this episode of Chef Life Radio.
If you're ready to take yourcareer to the next level, then.
Sign up for a free discovery calland find out what's possible for
you@jefflifecoaching.com slash discovery.
And the link is in the shownotes here at Jeff Life Radio.
We believe that working in akitchen should be demanding.
It just shouldn't have to be demeaning.
(32:06):
It should be hard.
It just doesn't have to be harsh.
We believe that it's possible tohave more solidarity and less.
Suck it up.
Sunshine more, compassionless cutthroat island.
We believe in more partnershipand less put up or shut up.
More family and less fuck you.
Stand tall and frosty brothers andsisters, but consider for a moment.
(32:28):
For all the blood, sweat, andeffort you put into what you do.
At the end of the day, it'sjust some stuff on a plate.
None of it really matters.
Doesn't define you as a person or make youany more special or less than anyone else.
It's just a dance that we'reengaged in, so we might as well
laugh and enjoy every bit of it.
Or didn't you know that the purposeof your life should be to enjoy it?
(32:50):
You love it.
I'm humble.
Reach out to the show at facebook.com/chefLife Radio, Twitter at Chef Life
Radio, Instagram at Chef Life Radio.
Visit the website@chefliferadio.com.
Subscribe to the podcast at anyof the major podcasts directories.
(33:11):
Please take a moment and give usa thumbs up and write a review.
It really does help spread the news.
Thanks for listeninguntil the next episode.
Be well and do good.
This episode was producedby me, Adam Lamb.
It was recorded in a basement BunkerStudio in Bardo, North Carolina.
Co-produced by ThomasStinson of pod like.com.
Chef Life Radio is a productionof Realignment Media.
Welcome back to the Show Chef.
What if the bravest thing thatyou could do was to ask for help?
In an industry where long hours highheat and silent suffering are worn like
badges of honor, it's easy to forgetthat we're humans first, chef's second.
That's why I sat down with KimberlyFlear founder of Last Call Coaching.
(00:25):
A leader in mental health wellness forhospitality professionals for real.
Talk on what it takes to shift theculture from burnout to support
Kimberly's not talking from theory.
She's lived it, and in this episodeshe breaks down why breath work
and body movement aren't soft.
They're strategic.
How to spot the signs of emotionalstrain before it turns into a crisis
(00:48):
and what it really means to createa recovery friendly workplace.
We talk about the pressure to perform.
Stories we don't tell and howoften conversations can be the
first step towards a kitchenthat actually feels safe.
If you've ever felt like you hadto leave parts of yourself outside
the walk-in just to get throughthe day, this one's for you.
(01:08):
We'll get into all that and muchmore right after this message.
This is Chef Life Radio andI'm your host Chef Adam Lamb.
I'm a culinary career coach dedicatedto assisting hospitality professionals
just like you who enjoy their careerswithout having to sacrifice their lives.
I coach chefs on leadership,communication, culture.
(01:31):
And relationship mastery.
If you've lost your passion, purpose,or drive, you either want to move
up or out, then let's connect.
Go to chef life coaching.com/discovery,and now let's get to the good stuff.
We're thrilled to have Kimberlyflir here with us on the show.
Kimberly Flear (01:49):
Thanks, Adam.
Adam M Lamb (01:50):
And first off, gotta ask, how you feeling?
Kimberly Flear (01:53):
Yeah, I'm feeling really good.
It's Friday.
I live in a beautiful place.
I feel good in my body.
Gratitude is the superpower of the day.
Adam M Lamb (02:03):
You know, here on the show, longtime listeners know that, uh, we
pound the drum pretty religiously around.
Um, the stigma of, of mental health,uh, hospitality industry and the fact
that we haven't been very good stewardsover human capital for a long time.
And these things went unnoticed andunrecognized and was chalked up to,
(02:24):
yeah, that's the way it's gonna be.
So, you know, either youcan hang with it or not.
What we've come to understand, especiallythrough the pandemic, is we can do
a lot better as the founder and leadfacilitator of Last Call Coaching.
Over the last several months, I've noticedthat you've become a very focused voice
on places like LinkedIn, talking aboutthe stigma of mental health issues in the
(02:48):
hospitality industry, and you're just notgonna put up with that bullshit anymore.
Kimberly Flear (02:53):
I'm not gonna put up with it.
No.
You know, it's really, I think about beinga voice for those who don't have one.
We're silenced by stigma and we'reliving in a culture that represents
that it's always been this wayand that there is no other way.
And I'm here to kind of challengethose industry norms and be a little
bit disruptive in the process.
(03:16):
And I think that's quite anature of someone who comes
from the hospitality industry.
We are known to be a little disruptive.
You know, we kind of don'tconform to society's rules.
We kind of take on thatmisfit kind of personality.
And so after my own journey ofstruggling pretty intensely with some
self-destructive behaviors, habits,patterns, all which were fueled
(03:39):
by the industry, not necessarilystarting in the industry, but what
happened is the industry attracted me.
So I could escape.
So I could numb out.
And I think that's a missing component ina lot of the conversations and a lot of
the awareness that's being brought forwardis that we're dealing with a group of
individuals who someone are looking forthat escape or looking for that kind of
(04:06):
just outside the nine to five, somethingthat allows them to constantly be like
the dopamine rush of a busy service.
The adrenaline, the instantgratification, all of those are
not necessarily recognized as beingsomething that can hinder mental
health, if not addressed properly.
Adam M Lamb (04:27):
Yeah.
Kind of underlying culture of instantgratification and how in my career
that really served me, you know,I got into the industry ultimately
because I was a, I didn't know it inthe moment, but once I got into it, I
was kinda like looking for a communityand a place to be, you know, fully me.
(04:47):
Anthony Bourdain is on record as saying,you know, the kitchen's one of the last
great merit autocracies, and it's trueif you can kick ass on your station.
Nobody really gives a shit.
You know, they don't care whereyou come from, what color you are,
what your background is, and veryoften they don't give a shit about
what you're doing in your off time.
So speak to me about how your careerhas influenced what you're doing now.
Kimberly Flear (05:14):
Yeah, it, it's so embedded with every corner of what I do.
You know, I have a plaque on my wall oflived experience spending 25 plus years
in the industry and not necessarilyreally recognizing the problem.
When I was in it in my twenties, itwas fun, and I got to travel and I
(05:34):
was really good at my job, but thingsstarted to deteriorate pretty quickly.
There was no help there.
You know, I kept losingjobs for drinking on shift.
I kind of say sometimes the industryate me up and spit me out without a
resource in hand, and so that's reallywhat sparked something inside of me.
(05:56):
Once I cleared my own head, I had totake a step away from the industry.
I had to take a step away, so I took acouple of years off, and in that time
just really reflected on my own journey.
And then got hit with a tragedy oflosing a friend who was also an industry
veteran who walked a similar path.
You know, he couldn't keep a job.
By the end, he was gettinglet go and bouncing around
(06:18):
from restaurant to restaurant.
And again, just as you said, nobodyquestions what we're bringing with us.
As long as you can do your job well, nomatter the state of mind that you're in,
you know, there were days where we weresurfing tables and with no sleep, right?
Some of us are still high on whateverit was that we took that morning.
And I've worked in some really highreputation places and nobody questions it
(06:41):
because as long as you get the job done.
And so in 2021, that's really whenit sparked this desire and this pull
towards wanting to help the industry.
I give credit to the industry foreverything that I was, everything
I am and everything I will be.
I hit the road at.
(07:01):
15 years old, I found community.
I found people who gave meattention and the care and the
love I didn't receive as a child.
And so
that's where it kicked off.
And I love everything about thisindustry, but I love it so much that
(07:25):
it can't continue the way that it is.
Yeah.
Or it's not going to survive.
The new generation is not gonna take it.
More establishments aregonna recognize this.
More organizations are gonna realizetheir doors are gonna have to, you
know, it's not gonna look good forthem if we don't start taking action
and taking care of our people, justlike we take care of our guests.
(07:46):
Without the guests, we have no business,without the staff, we have no business.
Adam M Lamb (07:52):
That really lands with me because I'm also thinking about.
Our responsibility to takeaccountability, right?
For the things that happen to us, thesituations that we put ourselves in.
You know, here on the show, we liketo say we are the industry because
looking over there to say it wastheir problem, or the industry did
(08:14):
it to me or nobody gave a shit aboutthat may in all be true, but that.
Comes from point of havingno power to change anything.
So to actually acknowledge, nope, nobodyforced me to put that thing up my nose.
Nobody forced me to go to the, youknow, and just having that really shitty
feeling about, oh fuck, I did it again.
(08:36):
So, yeah, we need to takeaccountability for it.
We need to acknowledge, you know, ourpart in not only, you know, taking
part in it, but also facilitating anenvironment where that stuff could happen.
I remember very clearly.
Watching a line cook on lunch.
You know, just sweat and bullets, becauseI know he'd been out all night because
I had been there with him, and I'mlike, I'm not gonna bail you out, dude.
(08:59):
You're out there playing.
Then this is the pricethat you're gonna pay.
But I think I mentioned ourlast conversation together.
I wrote a blog post where themain premise of it was, chef,
I'm feeling a little itchy.
I need to get to a meeting today.
Said, no line cook ever.
Right.
Because even then it's shame.
Kimberly Flear (09:20):
Absolutely.
Adam M Lamb (09:21):
Like we created an environment where people felt ashamed
to need to take space for their own.
Like not, that's not even recovery.
That's, I just need tolike change the vibe.
You know, do a pattern interrupt.
Because so much of my experience waslike, and again, and I thought that
(09:41):
was very courageous of you just saying,Nope, I gotta heal myself first.
You went to a cabin in BC and yousat there with yourself and you were
determined to heal that part of you.
That was, you know, jonesing forrecognition and acknowledgement and you
know, I think the addiction starts a lotsooner than we find any substances because
(10:03):
it's that addiction to Yeah, the dopamine.
Kimberly Flear (10:09):
I don't think that's something that's talked about enough is
that dopamine I, you know, I talk a lotabout different initiatives that we can
implement into organizations, and oneof them that I think where we're missing
a big piece of it is that post shift.
Adam M Lamb (10:24):
Yeah,
Kimberly Flear (10:24):
pre-shift is great.
Take the pulse on your teamand find out what's happening.
But post shift is where the energy,the adrenaline, the need to come down.
Is quite often where we go and use orwe go out, and I certainly don't wanna
come across like I'm trying to take thefun or suck the vibe out of the industry
(10:47):
because I wanna keep it as uniqueand fun and keep it for what it is.
Yeah.
But not at the expense of someonewho can't keep their shit together.
Or someone who's suffering in silence orneeds to go to a meeting but can't ask
because nobody else will support them.
Right.
So I think we just have a really greatopportunity in front of us to start
(11:12):
addressing these things consistently.
Not a workshop around mentalhealth and burnout prevention.
And then walk away.
Right?
Adam M Lamb (11:20):
Yeah.
Kimberly Flear (11:20):
And that's big.
That's to me, sometimes itfeels like a larger than life
project that I'm working on.
I think there's also a misconceptionaround the pathways to recovery, and this
is also something that's really, you know,embedded into my work, is recognizing
that there's multiple pathways.
And I think the more that we continueto do this work around hospitality
(11:43):
platforms and spaces will open up,that can cater specifically to the
unique needs of our industry becauseit's a different beast, I believe.
Mm-hmm.
And I think that.
As we continue to have more of theseconversations and implement these
strategies and systems, opportunities aregonna be available for people like-minded
(12:03):
from the industry to come together.
There's already people out there doing it,you know, Ben's friends and Chow has these
meetings where we can come together andtalk industry shit together, and that's
really supportive and really needed.
Adam M Lamb (12:15):
Yeah, I love the Wednesday child meetings for men.
Kimberly Flear (12:17):
Yeah,
Adam M Lamb (12:18):
I love it.
I've done men's work for many yearsand to be able to show up makes a very
clear distinction is like sobrietyis not a prerequisite to attending.
So if you're just getting off shift andyou've had a couple beers, we welcome
that because I've been in circles where,you know, if you are not stone cold
sober, they don't want any part of you.
(12:39):
And that's kind of a little bit ofrigidity that I push back against as well.
Ben's friends is a great organization.
I saw a post the other day aboutan after shift mocktail thing where
people are like learning how to makedifferent alcohol free drinks, but
as a way to get together that doesn'tnecessarily have alcohol attached to it.
(13:01):
I have a friend in Philadelphia,chef Maria Campbell, who runs an
organization where they regularly.
Think up ways to get industry veteransor industry participants together
that doesn't have alcohol involved?
Kimberly Flear (13:15):
No, and it's okay if people have a couple, like my philosophy
is I meet people where they're at.
Adam M Lamb (13:20):
Yep.
It's not
Kimberly Flear (13:21):
complete abstinence.
It's not sucking the fun out.
You don't have to come in the forestand zen out and you know you can
still live a high quality, fun life.
Adam M Lamb (13:30):
Yeah.
Kimberly Flear (13:31):
But eventually it will take its toll if anyone's listening and
they find themselves who've been in theindustry, you know, 15, 20 years, like
myself, I woke up at the age of 38.
The party was well over and it wasstill doing cocaine for breakfast.
This is not sustainable, right?
So it's really about meeting peoplewhere they're at, and those that do need
(13:51):
help know that it's available to them.
Adam M Lamb (13:54):
And just a little science for everybody, you know, a lot of it has to
do with flooding the brain with dopamine.
And what happens is the brain canonly take in so much dopamine.
So what it does is it startsto thin out the receptors.
And when people enter in recovery,or even just decide to do, oh, I'm
gonna do dry January or whatever.
Very often, those first week to 10 daysis pretty morose because now all of a
(14:18):
sudden there are fewer receptors for thatdopamine, but there's a lot less dopamine.
I need to understand that the brainself regulates beautifully and
it in response to lower dopamine,it opens up more receptor sites.
Yeah.
So you gotta stick with it, man.
Day at a time, moment at a time.
And I know lots of people who
(14:39):
in sobriety achieved a success thatthey never thought was possible
just because they're clearer.
Kimberly Flear (14:47):
That me Never thought possible.
Adam M Lamb (14:50):
Yeah.
Kimberly Flear (14:51):
Never thought possible.
And I think, you know, the, the dopaminerush, not even even alcohol and drugs
aside, the dopamine rush that comesfrom a busy, high vibes surface.
Mm-hmm.
If we can address that afterservice in a healthy way.
Right.
Again, you're rewiring your brain andyou're creating your neural pathways.
(15:15):
So the come down after servicedoesn't have to be so intense.
There's many tips and tricksthat we can do after service.
Adam M Lamb (15:24):
So mention a couple that you know.
Okay, so I don't, and I don'twanna try this because I'm
listening to this podcast.
I'm like, what the hell do I have to lose?
Kimberly Flear (15:29):
Yeah.
Great.
So I'm all about body movement.
Mm-hmm.
Because we gotta move the energy thatall that energy needs to go somewhere.
What we're doing with drugs andalcohol is we're suppressing it and
now it's still stuck in our energybody, so we gotta move the body.
So even just to go out dancing is greatif you have to do it at home by yourself.
If you're not comfortable doing it withoutalcohol, because I know that can be
(15:51):
really awkward at first, but definitelybody movement is really important.
Connecting to the breath, even a little 10minute breath yes, can totally ground you.
I have been doing breath workfor the last couple of years.
It's been transformative.
So grounding ourselves with breath.
There's a little trick called EFT Tapping.
(16:13):
These are all really like energeticpractices, so I've been doing tapping for
years and it's really helped me as well.
Again, we gotta shift thatenergy and create the space.
So dancing, breath tapping, evenjournaling, having a deep conversation
with a friend, a vulnerable conversationwith a friend, unpacking the
(16:33):
service that you just went through.
Right.
So many times we walk out the doorafter service and we leave it at the
door and that's great, but we're notmaybe addressing some things that
had surfaced for us during that time.
And so again, we're suppressing it withdrugs and alcohol, whereas if we talk
it through or journal about it or havesome kind of outlet that is safe in a
(16:54):
safe container, that can really help too.
'cause then we're not carryingit with a, in a mental state.
Um,
Adam M Lamb (17:01):
God, there's so much in there.
So first thing I want toacknowledge is the whole somatic.
Yeah, principle of energy that's lockedup in your body because there are certain
people who believe that, you know thatenergy stuck in the body and not exercised
out metastasizes as a physical entityin the body, and that's where chronic
illness comes right, wrong or whatever.
(17:24):
But that movement also, if we'rereally about a recovery friendly
workplace, and let's not even call itrecovery friendly, let's talk about.
An environment where we respect andhonor everybody's mental health.
What would it look like to get theteam together at the end of the shift
for five minutes and say, okay, let'sdebrief everybody first, take a deep
(17:45):
breath in and out, and then let's talkabout some of the things that happened.
Not to like berate anybody.
It's a great opportunity to celebratesuccesses and also give everybody
an opportunity to like just dump.
And I like walking.
Just walk with someone elseand then have the conversation.
Yeah, which is really cool.
(18:05):
I mean, I think sometimes a very goodfriend of mine who I took talked to
last night, and we would go alwaysout to the smoke pit and we'd sit
there silently next to one another.
There's 30 people out in the smoke pit,and here and I are over in the corner
and we're not talking because we'rekind of self isolating in that moment.
But by the same token, you don'tnecessarily need to smoke to go out and.
(18:26):
Create a space where you can justbreathe and just be by yourself for 10
minutes so that you can get recenteredbefore going into the environment.
So I love all those ideas.
I think they're fantastic.
You mentioned that it seems like aproblem too big to solve, and the
question for you is it must be soinspiring that it pulls you forward
(18:48):
as opposed to pushes you forward.
Can you speak to that a little bit?
Kimberly Flear (18:53):
Yeah.
That larger than life project.
I feel like I'm a tiny voice, butI'm a loud creature or something
is coming to me like because I amjust one, you know, individual.
But the pull is because Ihave conversations like this.
There's no pushing, there'sno, I did that for too long.
This is about passion and impact.
(19:18):
And so I get pulled and drawntowards intuitively the people
that resonate with my work.
Adam M Lamb (19:24):
Mm-hmm.
Kimberly Flear (19:25):
Who wanna have these conversations, who are
open and willing to change.
So I don't know if that's answeringyour question, but I'm pulled
towards the leaders in this space.
And that's what allows me to keep going.
I have yet to meet one person.
Maybe there's a coupleof naysayers on LinkedIn.
Adam M Lamb (19:46):
I saw one comment yesterday.
Okay,
Kimberly Flear (19:47):
yeah.
We won't go there.
I think everybody that I speak to is allfor this and wants to support this, and
no one has said, stop, don't do this.
Or, you know.
There are people that will ignore me.
There are people that maybe will saythings, you know, when I'm not in the
(20:08):
room, but for the most part, there is nodenying that this culture needs a shift.
Yeah.
So
Adam M Lamb (20:20):
what do you do for your own self-care?
Kimberly Flear (20:22):
So I live quietly in the forest in a cabin alone with no children.
So I've created a very spaciouslife that allows me to have a
really beautiful self-care practice.
Um, I, when I got sober, Ieliminated a lot of distractions
as well because I knew, you know,like I don't have a big screen tv.
(20:44):
I don't scroll social.
I use LinkedIn as a tool, notas a way to numb or be mindless.
So self care for me looks like.
So I cold plunge every day.
I swim in the Pacific Ocean every day.
Now, obviously it gets warmer inthe summer, so I have to switch
to cold showers, but that practicealone has been one of the most
(21:09):
transformative I've ever experienced.
You know, this winterit was like minus eight.
Two feet of snow, which is prettyrare for the Sunshine Coast.
Mm-hmm.
Sure.
And going down in my robe and slippinginto that freezing cold water,
like that strength, that's clarity.
There's a lot.
(21:29):
It also
Adam M Lamb (21:29):
produces some pretty incredible physiological changes in
the body when you're submerge yourselfin cold water and it drives all the
blood to the center of the organs.
Kimberly Flear (21:38):
Yeah.
Adam M Lamb (21:38):
It's, you wanna
Kimberly Flear (21:39):
talk about dopamine?
I mean, boom.
Right?
There isn't many other things organicallythat feel so good when you come outta the
water, every cell in your body is alive.
I think that's one.
Apart from last call coaching.
I think that my cold plungingwill be the legacy I leave behind.
I've gotten quite a fewof my friends into it.
Adam M Lamb (21:55):
It feels so good right after the pain stops.
Kimberly Flear (21:58):
Yeah.
The first like 15 to 45seconds is, what am I doing?
But then once I'm in, I spend,I'm up to about 10 minutes,
so I've really trained myself.
Adam M Lamb (22:07):
You're a polar bear.
Kimberly Flear (22:08):
Yeah.
And then, you know, we spoke earlier aboutenergy practices and this has been vital
in my healing journey and my self-care.
I took the route of energypractices such as breath work.
I do Qigong, I do yoga.
Very connected to nature.
I spend a lot of time out innature by the sea or in the forest.
(22:32):
I'm constantly looking to improve myself.
I'm always learning whether it's differentleadership styles or coaching practices,
or I'm generally constantly absor.
Not constantly, but when Icreate the space absorbing
information to to better myself.
I'm on a mission, you know,for my own personal journey
to feel and to live from my.
(22:53):
Most optimal timeline.
I know, you know, from thehighest version of myself.
And then by extension, because Ilive that way, I'm able to support
others in doing the same becauseintegrity is one of my core values.
So if I don't walk the walk and talkthe talk, then I'm out of alignment.
Right?
Adam M Lamb (23:10):
I was facilitating men's weekend two years ago, or three
years ago, and one of the guys wasa member of kind of an alpha group.
And he looked at me over the fireplace andhe is like, dude, how the fuck can you be
doing this man, look at you, you're fat.
As a way of kind of like beingout of integrity with the work.
(23:30):
And that kind of pushed me back alittle bit so far as to understand that
was his viewpoint, his perspective,but it didn't naturally land with me.
But you know, I've hadsome challenges physically.
I've had a laminectomy Fusion in 2007.
The last five years it was in, I wasin constant pain and didn't understand
that it had broken in several differentplaces and so had to have it all
(23:51):
pulled out and pulled back in again.
So for me, the recovery has been along road, but I continue to focus
on what I like to call the 1% weigh,which is my only objective is to
be 1% better than I was yesterday.
That might mean, you know, one pound morewalking, 10 minutes more like whatever
that looks like to be just 1% betterthan yesterday as an idea of round.
(24:15):
Kaizen, you know, small stepsover time, yield big results.
She said, you know, you gotta designthe alliance with your coaching clients.
I said, design the alliance.
I'm like, what the, and shehas a, she has a process that
she walks everybody through.
So this is the alliance that we're gonna.
Agree to, and these are thenon-negotiables day looks like
(24:36):
how I spend each of those blocks.
What does my perfect day look likeand how close to can I get to actually
achieving that every day from whereI live, the things that are in it,
you know, do I go running, do I hike?
Whatever that is.
So how often am I fit consciouslychoosing, you know, what I want my
(24:56):
day, or am I just getting pulled along?
And for years and years and years,especially in the hospitality industry.
I was just pulled along, man,and, and not right, not wrong,
but it's just like having theacknowledgement, like understanding
that is a risk in the industry.
And let's face it, in the eightiesthere was this huge confluence of
some perfect elements that cametogether to make working in the
(25:18):
industry really cool, you know?
And lots of people werecoming into the industry.
As a matter of fact, I remember,you know, getting 500 resumes for
a single position in the kitchen,and that lasted until it didn't.
And so it wasn't really incumbent upon usas leaders or the industry to really look
hard at how we were treating folks becausethere was always someone else and back.
(25:40):
Even though looking back, I thinkall of us can probably recognize
how we were treated that way andlike we didn't fucking like it then.
But
when 6 million people leave theindustry, what a huge opportunity.
What a great reset to rethink everything.
What is your biggest hopefor last call coaching?
For this year, for 2025,
Kimberly Flear (26:03):
just to keep putting the building blocks together.
I'm going to to continueto be consistent for 2025
more awareness, more education.
There's some loose partnershipsin the works right now with some
people in Oregon, constantlygetting my name out there.
(26:25):
My training's out there.
This is a long-term game, so it'shard to condense it into one year.
I think that 2025 is reallyjust about laying the foundation
and working with people who are openand willing to begin this shift.
I believe that being a catalystfor this kind of change is huge.
Once we get that momentum going,like a snowball, the momentum's
(26:48):
just gonna continue to buildand build and then over time.
We can start to see greater change.
Adam M Lamb (26:59):
And what is your biggest fear for the industry?
Kimberly Flear (27:08):
Well, that people are resistant to change.
I, my biggest fear is that welose another 6 million people.
I don't think I bring a lot offear to the table, to be honest.
That's, I kind of like when I tapinto fear, I think that the only fear
(27:33):
that lives in me is with my own ability.
Like it's, it's the personal development.
That's the fear.
It's not this industry's gonna shiftor else there will be no industry.
Right.
Exactly.
Right.
It's not whether it's 15 years,20 years, whatever it is.
There's not a lot of fear in that.
Um.
(27:54):
It's continuing to show up for myself,putting myself out there, doing
those uncomfortable things, havingthe uncomfortable conversations that
nobody wants to have, being vulnerable.
This level of work that I'm doinghas brought forth like far out.
I thought I did all the healing when Igot sober, but like entrepreneurship and
putting my neck out and talking aboutaddiction in hospitality has surfaced
(28:14):
all the little critters again that I haveto look at with my own self-development.
But that's beautiful and amazing.
That doesn't mean thatI'm afraid and I'm gonna.
Curl up under a, a rock out herein the forest and not do it.
Sure.
To me, that's the pull forward, right.
To continue to do this workis leaning into that fear.
Adam M Lamb (28:34):
I, uh, just want to acknowledge you for your
tenacity, your authenticity,your vision for an industry where
recovery isn't a bad word.
Kimberly Flear (28:46):
Yeah, like I picture, like I have this vision of walking into
restaurants and there's a little plaqueon the wall that just acknowledges,
Hey, this restaurant is recoveryfriendly, or whatever term or labeled.
It doesn't have to say that, but do youknow like just some kind of recognition.
You know, we can put TripAdvisorreviews all over and, but how
(29:07):
are we treating our staff?
Let's start acknowledging that.
And of course, I picture mylittle pineapple on that.
I gotta brand it.
I gotta brand that plaque.
Um, well, you gotta,
Adam M Lamb (29:15):
you gotta, you gotta be careful about the pineapple price.
Kimberly Flear (29:17):
I know I heard this.
I know.
But it is the symbol of hospitalityand I'm gonna go with it.
Adam M Lamb (29:22):
You go down to some of the oldest towns in New England and
the houses have very often either apicture of a codfish above the door or
a pineapple because it was represented.
Success
Kimberly Flear (29:36):
and let's be honest, hospitality staff are no
surprise to be swingers as well.
So I know there's more to the pineapple,but I think it's really great and I
just have this big vision of, of peoplereally stepping up and putting their
staff just as important as their guests.
Adam M Lamb (29:52):
Well, please consider myself and Chef Life Radio and Chef
Life Coaching as part of your alliancebecause we want to be where you're at.
And we say to you, come on board, becauseone more makes it all the more merrier.
Kimberly Flear (30:08):
I'm grateful to be here.
Adam M Lamb (30:09):
And so currently you're doing one-on-one coaching, correct?
Kimberly Flear (30:12):
Yep.
So I do one-on-one coaching.
Adam M Lamb (30:14):
And are you planning on moving into group
coaching with organizations?
I.
Kimberly Flear (30:19):
Yes.
Yeah.
So the bigger picture, like I love doingthe one-on-one support, and that was
originally where my whole business planand structure was created to support the
chefs and the servers and the bartenders.
Right.
But after a lot of reflection and havinga lot of conversations with people,
I. Employers, I believe, are reallywhere the shift needs to take place.
And so implementing programs toaddress turnover staff, like staff
(30:44):
retention, guest satisfaction, allof those components that are affected
by not taking care of our staff.
Yeah, so working one-on-onewith employers to implement
these trainings and workshops.
There's multiple ways.
That we could do that.
So I think it starts from the top.
And more impact can be made when you'rein front of a large organization.
Adam M Lamb (31:04):
Sure.
I mean, if nothing else to have, uh,the buy-in from upper management.
Yeah.
He understands what you're trying to do.
And so if someone wanted to get in touchwith you to learn more about you and
what you're doing, how do they do that?
Kimberly Flear (31:19):
Yeah, great.
So I'm really active on LinkedInas we mentioned before, so you can
definitely find me on LinkedIn.
My website is last callcoaching.com, so the best way
would be LinkedIn or my website,
Adam M Lamb (31:30):
and we'll make sure that we have all those links in the show notes.
I. Kimberly Flear thanksso much for being with us.
Kimberly Flear (31:36):
Thanks, Adam.
I love spending time with you.
It's
Adam M Lamb (31:38):
awesome.
Yeah, I love it.
Kimberly Flear (31:39):
Yeah, I look forward to it.
Adam M Lamb (31:46):
That's it for this episode of Chef Life Radio.
If you're ready to take yourcareer to the next level, then.
Sign up for a free discovery calland find out what's possible for
you@jefflifecoaching.com slash discovery.
And the link is in the shownotes here at Jeff Life Radio.
We believe that working in akitchen should be demanding.
It just shouldn't have to be demeaning.
(32:06):
It should be hard.
It just doesn't have to be harsh.
We believe that it's possible tohave more solidarity and less.
Suck it up.
Sunshine more, compassionless cutthroat island.
We believe in more partnershipand less put up or shut up.
More family and less fuck you.
Stand tall and frosty brothers andsisters, but consider for a moment.
(32:28):
For all the blood, sweat, andeffort you put into what you do.
At the end of the day, it'sjust some stuff on a plate.
None of it really matters.
Doesn't define you as a person or make youany more special or less than anyone else.
It's just a dance that we'reengaged in, so we might as well
laugh and enjoy every bit of it.
Or didn't you know that the purposeof your life should be to enjoy it?
(32:50):
You love it.
I'm humble.
Reach out to the show at facebook.com/chefLife Radio, Twitter at Chef Life
Radio, Instagram at Chef Life Radio.
Visit the website@chefliferadio.com.
Subscribe to the podcast at anyof the major podcasts directories.
(33:11):
Please take a moment and give usa thumbs up and write a review.
It really does help spread the news.
Thanks for listeninguntil the next episode.
Be well and do good.
This episode was producedby me, Adam Lamb.
It was recorded in a basement BunkerStudio in Bardo, North Carolina.
Co-produced by ThomasStinson of pod like.com.
Chef Life Radio is a productionof Realignment Media.
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