May 27, 2025 • 17 mins
A very special sneak peak behind the curtains of The Successful Chef™ Leadership Bootcamp, Cohort #1.
This what we're here for! Check out when the next cohort begins at Chef Life Coaching.
Lesson Topic: Energetic Presence & Real-Time Regulation
Lesson Plan:
- Segment 1 – What Energy Really Means
- Segment 2 – Stress Isn’t the Enemy (But It’s Running the Show)
- Segment 3 – Steady State = Leadership Power
- Segment 4 – Tools to Regulate in Real Time
- Segment 5 – Your Crew Is Reading You
Action Item: Use the Shift Reset Practice Card once per shift to center your energy. Journal afterward about how it shifted your tone, posture, or clarity.
Tool: Shift Reset Practice Card – Your go-to guide for grounding during moments of pressure.
Group Session Prompt: What energy did you bring into the kitchen this week—and how did it impact the room?
Summary: Presence isn’t passive. It’s a daily discipline. The chef who learns to reset, regulate, and ground their nervous system builds trust without ever having to raise their voice.
Additional Resources:
- You Are the Placebo – Dr. Joe Dispenza
- HeartMath Institute – Research on heart-brain coherence
- Power vs Force – David Hawkins (optional)
Copyright 2025 by Chef Life Media LLC.
This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis:
Podtrac - https://analytics.podtrac.com/privacy-policy-gdrp
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:03):
Welcome back, chef.
This is module four.
Be the Calm.
Your energy is your leadership.
You've earned your way here, not just bywatching lessons, but by doing the work.
You started noticingyour emotional baseline.
You began to track your triggers.
That's not small.
That's a shift most chefs never make.
Now you might be thinking "energy?Didn't we just do that?" Well, in
(00:24):
module three, we talked about emotionalregulation and stress response.
We explored about how stress shows upin your body, your breath, your focus,
and what to do when you're in it.
That was about you, your awareness,your internal temperature.
This week, it's about taking thatinternal awareness and applying it in
real time, because presence doesn'tpause, when the pressure ramps up,
(00:46):
that's when it matters the most.
It's about what happens to everyone else.
When you walk in the room this week,it's about energetic responsibility.
Whether you're aware of it ornot, your team is scanning your
vibe before you say a single word.
If you're frantic, they tighten.
If you're grounded, they loosen.
In this module, we're gonna betalking about the signal you send to
your crew and what to do about it.
(01:07):
Now, I'll be the first to admit that it'sa little bit weird that even though this
conversation is about how your energyaffects other people, it still comes back
to you who you're being in the moment.
The reality is that the success ofyour crew is directly proportional to
the amount of work you do or don't doto create and maintain a steady state
(01:30):
becoming less oak and much more bamboo.
But then again, thisis what you asked for.
It's why you're here.
You are after all the leader.
This has nothing to do with whetheryou have a big personality or not.
Your professional success will always comedown to whether you step in to leadership
and assume the position fully or stepoff to let someone else anchor the team.
Your vibrational frequency influencesthe crew before your voice ever does.
(01:54):
If you wanna lead like someone,your team can not only follow, but
also trust, you'll have to learnhow to regulate yourself first.
Here's what I'm talking about.
It's a cool autumn Friday night.
It's peak period of the shift,and everything's unraveling.
Orders are piling up, ticketsbleeding down the rail.
The fryer's backed up.
The grill's off temp, and I can feelmy chest tightening like someone's
(02:17):
cinching a strap around my ribs, I'mbarking: short, sharp commands trying
to keep the line from spinning out.
But the truth is, I'mthe one that's spinning.
The voices around me blur theheat, the noise, the expectation.
It all crashes in at once.
I step off the line without aword, I duck into the walk-in,
close the door, and stand there.
My breath is caught halfway up my throat.
(02:38):
Cold air hits my face like a slap.
My hands are shaking.
I press my palms against the shelfto steady myself, but it's no use.
I'm coming apart from theinside out, listening to the
quiet hum of the compressor.
Something clicks, not abreakdown, almost a breakthrough.
I realize I've been showing up every daytighter than a funeral drum thinking.
(02:59):
Control is strength.
The apex predator in the punch bowl,but what I'm actually radiating
is panic, anxiety, pressure.
Whether I say a word or not, my teamfeels every ounce of it, and they're
reflecting it right back at me, snappingat each other like junkyard dogs.
Not their fault.
I'm the one that brought the heat.
(03:19):
Wait, what?
Really it's me.
Shit.
I'm the fucking problem?
Because my energy set the tone.
I can't lead from chaos.
I can't create calm for my teamif I can't create it for myself.
I start to breathe slow,deep, and deliberate.
(03:40):
My hands stop trembling, my body softens.
I walk back out with the sametools, the same kitchen, but a
completely different presence.
That was the day I stopped managingpanic and started practicing leadership.
I. Chef, your presence is your leadership.
That's why we're circling back tothe subject of energy in this module.
Not because we're repeatingourselves, but because this is
(04:01):
the part that changes everything.
When it comes to how people trust you,follow you perform under pressure;
it's one thing to manage your stress.
It's another to be the calm in the chaos.
That's what we're leaning into.
Let's name the elephant in the walk-in.
Most of us were never taughthow to lead our energy.
We were only taught how to movefaster, push harder, and power through.
(04:22):
And if you don't know what'shappening in your nervous system,
you're not in command of your energy.
You're just reacting to it.
That's where this word comes in,"somatic", "soma", meaning body
somatic awareness simply means noticingwhat's happening in your body without
judgment, without trying to fix it.
Because if you can't feel what'shappening in you, you can't lead
what's happening around you.
(04:43):
When you learn how to lead from presenceinstead of pressure, everything changes.
How your team hears you, how yourecover, how you regulate, when things
heat up, this isn't some woo thing.
It's science, it's biology, it'sbreath, awareness, and self command.
The most grounded chefs in the world,like Eric Ripert from La Bernadin,
, In New York City comes to mind.
(05:04):
They aren't just calm, they're regulated.
That same chef at one point in his careerhad to consider why he kept losing cooks.
Given the fact that he was the onlycommon denominator in all those losses,
he had to come to the conclusion thatif he was gonna remain successful, but
probably more importantly fulfilledthan he was gonna have to change his
(05:25):
ways, he became a practicing Buddhist.
He became chill, accepting, stoic.
He became steady state.
Today you're gonna learnhow to do the same.
Let's start small.
Let's start with a quickthree-step somatic check-in.
Deep breath in.
Come on, let's go.
You know how to do this right?
(05:46):
Box, breath.
Breathe in for a count of four.
1, 2, 3, 4. Hold for a count of four.
1, 2, 3, 4. Exhale to a count of four,1, 2, 3, 4 And hold for a count of four.
1, 2, 3. 4. Now release.
(06:06):
In that space.
Between your next breath, ask yourself.
Where do I usually hold stress?
What does it feel like?
Ask your body.
What's one thing I can use to reset?",Listen, and then do that thing.
Dr. David Hawkins in his book,"Power vs Force", writes, "the body
doesn't lie, it doesn't perform, itdoesn't mask, tells the truth about
(06:28):
how you're actually showing up".
So how do you define energy?
Well, it isn't just about how loudyou are or how hard you hustle.
It's the frequency you carry, the tone,the rhythm, the emotional field you
broadcast, whether you intend to or not.
You're scattered,rounded, dismissive, calm.
Your team knows, even if you don't say athing, leadership starts with a signal.
(06:52):
You're sending, let'sbring that signal in.
Let's bring that signal into alignment.
Stress isn't the enemy.
It is running the show.
I'm not here to make you avoid stress.
I'm here to help you stop being ruledby it because prolonged stress rewires
your brain and makes you reactive,defensive, impatient, fight or flight.
(07:14):
Shortens your tone, killsyour creativity, erodes trust.
You think you're focused, yourcrew thinks you're pissed.
You think you're being clear.
They feel like they're being judged.
Stress doesn't just live in your body.
It spills over and your team can feel it.
Check it.
You don't need to eliminate stress,you just need to interrupt the cycle.
(07:34):
I call it a pattern interrupt.
I will do almost anything to shortcircuit, a well-practiced way of being.
That's a phrase I use that describeshabits, emotional triggers, and
crystallized neural pathways in the brain.
I'll breathe, go for a walk,close my eyes for two minutes.
Because going inward, that'swhere the power truly resides.
(07:57):
Steady state equals leadership power.
Remember when we talked in moduleone about presence over position?
Yeah, just like that.
This is where Dr. Joe Dispenza andHeartMath come in handy because your
thoughts and emotions produce a literalelectromagnetic field around your body.
Your vibe isn't' a metaphor it'smeasurable, and when you're in
(08:20):
a coherent state, your heart andbrain in sync, you create a ripple
effect of calm all around you.
And that your team sinkswith that frequency.
I worked with a grill cook in ahigh volume fish house who after
a station would stock, wouldreach into his shirt pocket and
pull out a little troll dolland put it in the window.
then he'd give me the long side eye asif he was preparing for that inevitable
(08:43):
moment during the shift when the triplerail is full and tickets are spilling
out onto the floor, and it's at thatmoment when I'm rocking seven windows,
six food runners at my back, and theonly printer on the line is mine.
Once he does catch my eye, Doc says tome, looking back at me through the pass,
"Tonight? Don't fuck with my Chi man".
(09:04):
See, when you're regulated,your line moves sweeter.
Everybody's in rhythm swaying to thebeat right in the pocket, five by five.
Nights like that when everybody'sin sync is the reason why I got into
this business in the first place, "thedream of the dance", the community, the
fraternity, the bond that can only beforged under fire, chasing the perfect
sell, the perfect night, riding therazor's edge until somehow the train
(09:29):
stays on the track no matter what, andsomewhere in the middle when time slows
down, and focus narrows, the organicmachine that is we together, hammers it
home, and when the last plate is out,
the clouds part and there's anangelic choir swinging from the
chandelier to a heavy metal symphony.
And judging by the sweat stained facespeering back at me through the pass,
(09:50):
all wide-eyed and ready for more,.
I'm not the only one who hearsthe music or feels so connected.
You got goosebumps yet, you're probablyready to strap on your apron right
now and hitch up your clogs becauseyou know what that feels like too?
On a night like that, when everythingaligns, it all unlocks so perfectly.
Questions get asked earlier, supportshows up without even being called for.
(10:12):
The timing is just fucking sublime.
And in a moment like that, I feel so proudand privileged to be part of that crew.
Why?
Because coherence builds trust.
That's what we're building towards.
Rock solid, sustainableregenerative trust.
Lemme put it another way.
My daughter is failing middle school,and I can see the fear in her eyes
(10:35):
when she hands me her report card.
She expects a lecture, thepunishment, the disappointment,
and I can feel it rising me.
That old chef energy, the need tocorrect, to fix, to control with
something in her face, some mix ofshame and resignation stops me cold.
I exhale, I breathe just once, allthe way in and all the way out.
(10:55):
I sit beside her insteadof across from her.
I ask questions instead of offeringanswers, and for the first time I hear
what she's been trying to tell me.
She doesn't need fixing.
What she needs is someone to sitwith her in the mess until she's
strong enough to stand on her own.
I pull out a marker and writethree words on a sheet of paper.
(11:17):
Be, do, have.
We talk about how we've been taught to.
Have to do more to get more sowe can finally be something.
But that's backwards.
You become who you want tobe first, calm, grounded, and
curious, and the rest follows.
She nods slowly, like she heardsomething that she didn't know
(11:39):
she needed, and I realized I'mnot just helping her regulate.
I'm actually finally modelingit for her so she could see
what it looks like that night.
I think about my kitchen and the cooks whocome in with shame in their eyes, hoping
not to be corrected, but to be seen.
I can't breathe with my kid.
How can I expect to leadwith clarity under pressure?
(11:59):
That's the day I stopped usingurgency as a leadership style.
I started using Breath Chef, letme remind you, your crew is always
reading you always, they're lookingfor an emotional and energetic
clue to how this shift will unfold.
Is it gonna be smooth and groovy orare we gonna go off the rail sideways?
They wanna be prepared forthe mayhem or the piece.
(12:22):
So they clock you from a mile away and youknow that you might even come to expect
and enjoy that moment when you walk inthe door so that you can set the space
and ground everybody with your presence.
But before you do, you better pause inthe back hallway or the parking lot for
a few moments and smooth out your apron.
Get steady, do some box breathing.
(12:46):
Have some reverence for themoment and opportunity to be
in service to your people.
Check your uniform.
Are you crisp?
Then and only then do you makeyour grand entrance captain
on board smooth sailing ahead.
Because leadership isn't aboutcontrol, it's about coherence,
and coherence is contagious.
As we talked about in module three.
(13:07):
Some easy ways to maintain a calm andsteady presence is regular exercise,
a hobby, meditation, or some type ofpractice you do to ground yourself.
It's gotta be a daily practice, so you candepend on it and others can depend on you.
Try a bunch of different techniques.
Somatic release, yoga, walking.
What matters is you respect yourself andthe people in your life enough to care
(13:29):
whether you show up, scattered or not.
One thing that helps me is maintaining aself-care routine throughout the month,
sometimes I meet an old friend for coffee,go to the sauna, take a salt water float.
Sometimes I just step in the grasswith bare feet feeling connected
to the earth in the process.
Figure out what grooves you.
But the only rule about self-careand self nurture is this, whatever
(13:51):
you choose to do, it shouldonly involve and benefit you.
That's not to say that otherswon't enjoy the byproduct of
whichever self-care action you take.
I mean, I've never heard anyone complainabout their partner's new pedicure.
This saying, in a life devotedto being in service to others,
it's critically important to makesure you serve yourself as well.
There will never be a good time or agood enough reason for you to focus.
(14:15):
On yourself, but you'll do it anywaybecause to deny yourself that bit of
grace, acceptance and love means thatat some point in the future, probably
sooner than you think, you'll be backedup, bitter, jaded, and hold everybody
else in judgment for the cycle ofnegativity your life has become.
I've been there, seen that moviedoesn't end well for anybody.
Word.
(14:36):
All right.
Wanna go deeper?
Okay, Reid, you are theplacebo by Dr. Joe Dispenza.
Specifically the part about elevatedemotion and intention, it'll help reframe
how you view your thoughts under pressure.
I posted a link to a video produced byHeartMath Institute explaining more about
heart, brain coherence and team alignment.
This isn't fluff, it's physiologicalpresence isn't passive.
(15:00):
The chef who learns to reset,regulate and stabilize the room
becomes the one others' rise around.
And who doesn't wanna be in that room?
I hope what you'restarting to feel is this.
It's not about being the loudest orsoftest voice or the hardest worker.
It's about how you show up in yourbody, in your breath, in your energy,
especially when things get out of hand.
(15:23):
Calm is not the absence of chaos.
Steady state.
Calm is a choice.
It's a tool, and it's a skill.
Over time, it becomes a signature,something your team comes to recognize,
trust, and rely on steady state.
Trust doesn't begin withperformance, it begins with presence.
(15:45):
If your team never knows whichversion of you they're gonna get
today, then they can't relax intotheir work and they can't relax.
They can't perform.
That's where we're headed next week.
How trust is built, not earned, andhow your consistency energetically,
emotionally, and relationally becomesthe foundation your team stands on.
(16:06):
Your challenge for this weekis track how your energy flows.
Pay attention to who adjuststhemselves when you walk into the
kitchen, or who avoids eye contactwith you, and as something feels off,
reset it right then in that moment.
Not to be perfect, but to be present.
You're not just running the shift,you're shaping the atmosphere, and
(16:26):
that's the calm that builds trust.
Your group coaching session promptthis week is what energy did you
bring into the kitchen this weekand how did it impact your team?
Come ready to talk about it because Ireally wanna know in the next module,
we're gonna keep stacking, we're bringingyour voice back into the room because
when your nervous system is steady, yourcommunication gets clearer, and your words
(16:48):
start to build trust instead of break it.
Bring your truth.
Because that's where we grow.
Until then, stay tall andfrosty and lead from your heart.
Welcome back, chef.
This is module four.
Be the Calm.
Your energy is your leadership.
You've earned your way here, not just bywatching lessons, but by doing the work.
You started noticingyour emotional baseline.
You began to track your triggers.
That's not small.
That's a shift most chefs never make.
Now you might be thinking "energy?Didn't we just do that?" Well, in
(00:24):
module three, we talked about emotionalregulation and stress response.
We explored about how stress shows upin your body, your breath, your focus,
and what to do when you're in it.
That was about you, your awareness,your internal temperature.
This week, it's about taking thatinternal awareness and applying it in
real time, because presence doesn'tpause, when the pressure ramps up,
(00:46):
that's when it matters the most.
It's about what happens to everyone else.
When you walk in the room this week,it's about energetic responsibility.
Whether you're aware of it ornot, your team is scanning your
vibe before you say a single word.
If you're frantic, they tighten.
If you're grounded, they loosen.
In this module, we're gonna betalking about the signal you send to
your crew and what to do about it.
(01:07):
Now, I'll be the first to admit that it'sa little bit weird that even though this
conversation is about how your energyaffects other people, it still comes back
to you who you're being in the moment.
The reality is that the success ofyour crew is directly proportional to
the amount of work you do or don't doto create and maintain a steady state
(01:30):
becoming less oak and much more bamboo.
But then again, thisis what you asked for.
It's why you're here.
You are after all the leader.
This has nothing to do with whetheryou have a big personality or not.
Your professional success will always comedown to whether you step in to leadership
and assume the position fully or stepoff to let someone else anchor the team.
Your vibrational frequency influencesthe crew before your voice ever does.
(01:54):
If you wanna lead like someone,your team can not only follow, but
also trust, you'll have to learnhow to regulate yourself first.
Here's what I'm talking about.
It's a cool autumn Friday night.
It's peak period of the shift,and everything's unraveling.
Orders are piling up, ticketsbleeding down the rail.
The fryer's backed up.
The grill's off temp, and I can feelmy chest tightening like someone's
(02:17):
cinching a strap around my ribs, I'mbarking: short, sharp commands trying
to keep the line from spinning out.
But the truth is, I'mthe one that's spinning.
The voices around me blur theheat, the noise, the expectation.
It all crashes in at once.
I step off the line without aword, I duck into the walk-in,
close the door, and stand there.
My breath is caught halfway up my throat.
(02:38):
Cold air hits my face like a slap.
My hands are shaking.
I press my palms against the shelfto steady myself, but it's no use.
I'm coming apart from theinside out, listening to the
quiet hum of the compressor.
Something clicks, not abreakdown, almost a breakthrough.
I realize I've been showing up every daytighter than a funeral drum thinking.
(02:59):
Control is strength.
The apex predator in the punch bowl,but what I'm actually radiating
is panic, anxiety, pressure.
Whether I say a word or not, my teamfeels every ounce of it, and they're
reflecting it right back at me, snappingat each other like junkyard dogs.
Not their fault.
I'm the one that brought the heat.
(03:19):
Wait, what?
Really it's me.
Shit.
I'm the fucking problem?
Because my energy set the tone.
I can't lead from chaos.
I can't create calm for my teamif I can't create it for myself.
I start to breathe slow,deep, and deliberate.
(03:40):
My hands stop trembling, my body softens.
I walk back out with the sametools, the same kitchen, but a
completely different presence.
That was the day I stopped managingpanic and started practicing leadership.
I. Chef, your presence is your leadership.
That's why we're circling back tothe subject of energy in this module.
Not because we're repeatingourselves, but because this is
(04:01):
the part that changes everything.
When it comes to how people trust you,follow you perform under pressure;
it's one thing to manage your stress.
It's another to be the calm in the chaos.
That's what we're leaning into.
Let's name the elephant in the walk-in.
Most of us were never taughthow to lead our energy.
We were only taught how to movefaster, push harder, and power through.
(04:22):
And if you don't know what'shappening in your nervous system,
you're not in command of your energy.
You're just reacting to it.
That's where this word comes in,"somatic", "soma", meaning body
somatic awareness simply means noticingwhat's happening in your body without
judgment, without trying to fix it.
Because if you can't feel what'shappening in you, you can't lead
what's happening around you.
(04:43):
When you learn how to lead from presenceinstead of pressure, everything changes.
How your team hears you, how yourecover, how you regulate, when things
heat up, this isn't some woo thing.
It's science, it's biology, it'sbreath, awareness, and self command.
The most grounded chefs in the world,like Eric Ripert from La Bernadin,
, In New York City comes to mind.
(05:04):
They aren't just calm, they're regulated.
That same chef at one point in his careerhad to consider why he kept losing cooks.
Given the fact that he was the onlycommon denominator in all those losses,
he had to come to the conclusion thatif he was gonna remain successful, but
probably more importantly fulfilledthan he was gonna have to change his
(05:25):
ways, he became a practicing Buddhist.
He became chill, accepting, stoic.
He became steady state.
Today you're gonna learnhow to do the same.
Let's start small.
Let's start with a quickthree-step somatic check-in.
Deep breath in.
Come on, let's go.
You know how to do this right?
(05:46):
Box, breath.
Breathe in for a count of four.
1, 2, 3, 4. Hold for a count of four.
1, 2, 3, 4. Exhale to a count of four,1, 2, 3, 4 And hold for a count of four.
1, 2, 3. 4. Now release.
(06:06):
In that space.
Between your next breath, ask yourself.
Where do I usually hold stress?
What does it feel like?
Ask your body.
What's one thing I can use to reset?",Listen, and then do that thing.
Dr. David Hawkins in his book,"Power vs Force", writes, "the body
doesn't lie, it doesn't perform, itdoesn't mask, tells the truth about
(06:28):
how you're actually showing up".
So how do you define energy?
Well, it isn't just about how loudyou are or how hard you hustle.
It's the frequency you carry, the tone,the rhythm, the emotional field you
broadcast, whether you intend to or not.
You're scattered,rounded, dismissive, calm.
Your team knows, even if you don't say athing, leadership starts with a signal.
(06:52):
You're sending, let'sbring that signal in.
Let's bring that signal into alignment.
Stress isn't the enemy.
It is running the show.
I'm not here to make you avoid stress.
I'm here to help you stop being ruledby it because prolonged stress rewires
your brain and makes you reactive,defensive, impatient, fight or flight.
(07:14):
Shortens your tone, killsyour creativity, erodes trust.
You think you're focused, yourcrew thinks you're pissed.
You think you're being clear.
They feel like they're being judged.
Stress doesn't just live in your body.
It spills over and your team can feel it.
Check it.
You don't need to eliminate stress,you just need to interrupt the cycle.
(07:34):
I call it a pattern interrupt.
I will do almost anything to shortcircuit, a well-practiced way of being.
That's a phrase I use that describeshabits, emotional triggers, and
crystallized neural pathways in the brain.
I'll breathe, go for a walk,close my eyes for two minutes.
Because going inward, that'swhere the power truly resides.
(07:57):
Steady state equals leadership power.
Remember when we talked in moduleone about presence over position?
Yeah, just like that.
This is where Dr. Joe Dispenza andHeartMath come in handy because your
thoughts and emotions produce a literalelectromagnetic field around your body.
Your vibe isn't' a metaphor it'smeasurable, and when you're in
(08:20):
a coherent state, your heart andbrain in sync, you create a ripple
effect of calm all around you.
And that your team sinkswith that frequency.
I worked with a grill cook in ahigh volume fish house who after
a station would stock, wouldreach into his shirt pocket and
pull out a little troll dolland put it in the window.
then he'd give me the long side eye asif he was preparing for that inevitable
(08:43):
moment during the shift when the triplerail is full and tickets are spilling
out onto the floor, and it's at thatmoment when I'm rocking seven windows,
six food runners at my back, and theonly printer on the line is mine.
Once he does catch my eye, Doc says tome, looking back at me through the pass,
"Tonight? Don't fuck with my Chi man".
(09:04):
See, when you're regulated,your line moves sweeter.
Everybody's in rhythm swaying to thebeat right in the pocket, five by five.
Nights like that when everybody'sin sync is the reason why I got into
this business in the first place, "thedream of the dance", the community, the
fraternity, the bond that can only beforged under fire, chasing the perfect
sell, the perfect night, riding therazor's edge until somehow the train
(09:29):
stays on the track no matter what, andsomewhere in the middle when time slows
down, and focus narrows, the organicmachine that is we together, hammers it
home, and when the last plate is out,
the clouds part and there's anangelic choir swinging from the
chandelier to a heavy metal symphony.
And judging by the sweat stained facespeering back at me through the pass,
(09:50):
all wide-eyed and ready for more,.
I'm not the only one who hearsthe music or feels so connected.
You got goosebumps yet, you're probablyready to strap on your apron right
now and hitch up your clogs becauseyou know what that feels like too?
On a night like that, when everythingaligns, it all unlocks so perfectly.
Questions get asked earlier, supportshows up without even being called for.
(10:12):
The timing is just fucking sublime.
And in a moment like that, I feel so proudand privileged to be part of that crew.
Why?
Because coherence builds trust.
That's what we're building towards.
Rock solid, sustainableregenerative trust.
Lemme put it another way.
My daughter is failing middle school,and I can see the fear in her eyes
(10:35):
when she hands me her report card.
She expects a lecture, thepunishment, the disappointment,
and I can feel it rising me.
That old chef energy, the need tocorrect, to fix, to control with
something in her face, some mix ofshame and resignation stops me cold.
I exhale, I breathe just once, allthe way in and all the way out.
(10:55):
I sit beside her insteadof across from her.
I ask questions instead of offeringanswers, and for the first time I hear
what she's been trying to tell me.
She doesn't need fixing.
What she needs is someone to sitwith her in the mess until she's
strong enough to stand on her own.
I pull out a marker and writethree words on a sheet of paper.
(11:17):
Be, do, have.
We talk about how we've been taught to.
Have to do more to get more sowe can finally be something.
But that's backwards.
You become who you want tobe first, calm, grounded, and
curious, and the rest follows.
She nods slowly, like she heardsomething that she didn't know
(11:39):
she needed, and I realized I'mnot just helping her regulate.
I'm actually finally modelingit for her so she could see
what it looks like that night.
I think about my kitchen and the cooks whocome in with shame in their eyes, hoping
not to be corrected, but to be seen.
I can't breathe with my kid.
How can I expect to leadwith clarity under pressure?
(11:59):
That's the day I stopped usingurgency as a leadership style.
I started using Breath Chef, letme remind you, your crew is always
reading you always, they're lookingfor an emotional and energetic
clue to how this shift will unfold.
Is it gonna be smooth and groovy orare we gonna go off the rail sideways?
They wanna be prepared forthe mayhem or the piece.
(12:22):
So they clock you from a mile away and youknow that you might even come to expect
and enjoy that moment when you walk inthe door so that you can set the space
and ground everybody with your presence.
But before you do, you better pause inthe back hallway or the parking lot for
a few moments and smooth out your apron.
Get steady, do some box breathing.
(12:46):
Have some reverence for themoment and opportunity to be
in service to your people.
Check your uniform.
Are you crisp?
Then and only then do you makeyour grand entrance captain
on board smooth sailing ahead.
Because leadership isn't aboutcontrol, it's about coherence,
and coherence is contagious.
As we talked about in module three.
(13:07):
Some easy ways to maintain a calm andsteady presence is regular exercise,
a hobby, meditation, or some type ofpractice you do to ground yourself.
It's gotta be a daily practice, so you candepend on it and others can depend on you.
Try a bunch of different techniques.
Somatic release, yoga, walking.
What matters is you respect yourself andthe people in your life enough to care
(13:29):
whether you show up, scattered or not.
One thing that helps me is maintaining aself-care routine throughout the month,
sometimes I meet an old friend for coffee,go to the sauna, take a salt water float.
Sometimes I just step in the grasswith bare feet feeling connected
to the earth in the process.
Figure out what grooves you.
But the only rule about self-careand self nurture is this, whatever
(13:51):
you choose to do, it shouldonly involve and benefit you.
That's not to say that otherswon't enjoy the byproduct of
whichever self-care action you take.
I mean, I've never heard anyone complainabout their partner's new pedicure.
This saying, in a life devotedto being in service to others,
it's critically important to makesure you serve yourself as well.
There will never be a good time or agood enough reason for you to focus.
(14:15):
On yourself, but you'll do it anywaybecause to deny yourself that bit of
grace, acceptance and love means thatat some point in the future, probably
sooner than you think, you'll be backedup, bitter, jaded, and hold everybody
else in judgment for the cycle ofnegativity your life has become.
I've been there, seen that moviedoesn't end well for anybody.
Word.
(14:36):
All right.
Wanna go deeper?
Okay, Reid, you are theplacebo by Dr. Joe Dispenza.
Specifically the part about elevatedemotion and intention, it'll help reframe
how you view your thoughts under pressure.
I posted a link to a video produced byHeartMath Institute explaining more about
heart, brain coherence and team alignment.
This isn't fluff, it's physiologicalpresence isn't passive.
(15:00):
The chef who learns to reset,regulate and stabilize the room
becomes the one others' rise around.
And who doesn't wanna be in that room?
I hope what you'restarting to feel is this.
It's not about being the loudest orsoftest voice or the hardest worker.
It's about how you show up in yourbody, in your breath, in your energy,
especially when things get out of hand.
(15:23):
Calm is not the absence of chaos.
Steady state.
Calm is a choice.
It's a tool, and it's a skill.
Over time, it becomes a signature,something your team comes to recognize,
trust, and rely on steady state.
Trust doesn't begin withperformance, it begins with presence.
(15:45):
If your team never knows whichversion of you they're gonna get
today, then they can't relax intotheir work and they can't relax.
They can't perform.
That's where we're headed next week.
How trust is built, not earned, andhow your consistency energetically,
emotionally, and relationally becomesthe foundation your team stands on.
(16:06):
Your challenge for this weekis track how your energy flows.
Pay attention to who adjuststhemselves when you walk into the
kitchen, or who avoids eye contactwith you, and as something feels off,
reset it right then in that moment.
Not to be perfect, but to be present.
You're not just running the shift,you're shaping the atmosphere, and
(16:26):
that's the calm that builds trust.
Your group coaching session promptthis week is what energy did you
bring into the kitchen this weekand how did it impact your team?
Come ready to talk about it because Ireally wanna know in the next module,
we're gonna keep stacking, we're bringingyour voice back into the room because
when your nervous system is steady, yourcommunication gets clearer, and your words
(16:48):
start to build trust instead of break it.
Bring your truth.
Because that's where we grow.
Until then, stay tall andfrosty and lead from your heart.
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.