130: Booty Trap

Follow us on all the socials

Chillprism:

https://x.com/chillprismpod?t=WjBoO0MVmyXAVSF4M_R4hw&s=09

https://instagram.com/chillprismpod?igshid=YTQwZjQ0NmI0OA==

Russ:

https://x.com/Russprism?t=6sGfvWin0RzuptP8UBpkSA&s=09

https://instagram.com/russprism?igshid=OGQ5ZDc2ODk2ZA==

Give us a listen on spotify instead

https://open.spotify.com/show/3CO3B1pX2zNcJVjLhlOP9g

Shoot us an email! [e-mail]

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
You are now entering the prism. Inward I see, but.
With the hard R. For Russ, you're coming in real
soft there, pal. I come in with full strength.

(00:21):
There you go. That's better.
And if soft is all I can give you, I'm so sorry, but that's
what you're getting that night. You're still coming in really
soft. What's happening?
You're just quiet. It's your input.
It's just quiet. I don't know why I.
Feel like I'm yelling into this thing.
Yeah, it's fine. It'll be fine.
It's fine. I won't fix it later.

(00:41):
I'm glad that I get to start this episode off by gaslighting
you. That was so satisfying.
What did you do? You gaslit me.
What? By sitting outside.
No. No I was trying to catch you on
a lie because I when I went and got these non alcoholic beers
from the fridge I peeked out thewindow to see if you were here
and I noticed your car so I texted you to say are you on

(01:03):
your way? But then you just didn't
respond. But I knew had you responded you
would say yes and then I would go haha I caught you and you
would go. Technically I was still on my
way because I hadn't left my carand I would go.
I fucking don't know why we're friends dude.
It seemed like you weren't friends with me today when
you're fucking back of that truck to the trailer.

(01:25):
Oh my God. You didn't even turn around to
look at me. Yeah.
I was using the mirror. That's not a thing people do
when they're backing up. You know what's really wild,
listener? Like if either of us were in
extreme duress, like we would drop everything.
To go help the other and make fun of the other person as it's

(01:45):
happening. You would definitely give them a
fucking rational shit like for. Sure, yeah, I wouldn't ration my
shit. It would be very I'd be very
liberal with my shit. Yeah, it's funny, you know,
liberals, the the, the end all be all to modern liberalism is
rationing shit through communism.

(02:07):
Yeah, yeah, yeah. But then it's like they don't
understand what they're doing. Imagine what's going to happen
if they have to only use like a portion of the hair dye.
Their IQ suddenly starts raisingup.
Oh, oh, What are we doing? Yeah.
What did I? What did I do?
Give me my uterus back. Put it back in please.

(02:33):
I will get the things done in this lifetime that I need to
accomplish. I need progeny.
Dude what? What would be your motivation
for having kids? My motivation for having kids.
Yeah, I had a discussion with mywife recently that was a little
eye opening. My motivation for having kids is
I want to have kids. And that's the full depth of

(02:58):
thought you put into. It no, it's like that's
literally all I want is to have.So is it a child?
Yeah, I've always wanted to be adad.
And so you never thought about it beyond that?
I mean I have. The opportunity of like so from
your standpoint, I would say that you're saying like you've
experienced cool things and you've also experienced pain and

(03:20):
you want the opportunity to guide a life to avoid the pain
and then also take and share with them the best parts of the
world that you've. Experienced is that think.
Everybody's desire stems from wanting to give somebody else a
better life than you had I. Mean or sex feels really good.

(03:41):
Well, you don't have to have kids when you do that.
Back in the day. Yeah, that's why I'm talking
about. It's a little bit deeper now
because. Yeah.
You can go as deep as you want and you don't have to have the
kids from it so. I can't go as deep as I want,
that's true. I want to hit the base of the
skull. Yeah, we, we covered that
yesterday. Genetically, you've lost the

(04:02):
lottery. Yeah, I lost an inch and a.
Half all the discrimination, none of the penis.
Only had an inch and a half giveit's gone pretty much have a
vagina. So that was your the depth of
thought you put into the. Motivation.
There's such a. Shitty way to Yeah, we'll just

(04:26):
say that yeah, OK, sure. That's.
Fine, I. Mean.
Sure. Yeah, you may come back.
Don't judge me. That's fine.
You may come back in a couple weeks and think about.
It I'm not, I forget what happens in this room.
As soon as I leave it, I have toask Rock to tell me what
happened. Can you give me a synopsis of
the US episode? That's literally what I do.
I upload it to AMP 3 to text. Give away our trade.

(04:49):
Secrets and then I upload that text file to grok and I say tell
me what this is. Russell, you signed an NDA.
Yeah, never. Don't nutdunk in it.
Talk about it. Never don't ask.
No, it's never. Don't talk about it.
Never discuss any time. Not always, but sometimes do

(05:16):
elaborate. Fuck, and with that one
statement you've lost the privilege of having kids.
Oh my gosh. So we were watching TV 2 days
ago and I like just gotten home.I'd been there 10 minutes and my

(05:43):
wife was like, I wish you didn'thave to work all the time.
I need to get you some kids so they can help you out.
He's like, no, I don't want themto hate this.
I want to like get them involvedin the fun parts of working on
things so that it isn't just a pain point.
And she's like, well, I just feel so bad that you're working

(06:03):
all the time. I wish that like we could asked
him to go mow. He's like, do you?
Do you want farmhands? Yeah.
Is that the? Is that why you want kids?
Like, I'd be really nice. He's like, well, honestly, the
reason I want kids is so that, like, someone can take care of
you and keep you company. When I die at the age of 42.
Yeah. She's like.

(06:24):
She's like, I don't want more ofyou guys though.
I'll get a new one. Kids are replaceable.
You're not going to get the samecaliber of kid every time, but
they are. Don't I know it?
Yep. You got a lemon?
I am a lemon. I did get a lemon.

(06:45):
That is true. That is a really fucked up way
to put that. Send it back.
Yeah. Do lemon laws apply to children?
Can I send my weird blood clot thing to the government and say
hey you owe me a new one? Put this back in my wife it
better. Oh my God.

(07:13):
Yeah. But I mean, that's that's the
big reason why I've even given it serious thought because from
a very early age I thought womenwere hot.
But then I was scared of gettingone knocked up because they put
they punched that fear in you really, really early.
Like your life's over the secondyou have a kid.
And then you realize all the people around you who were air

(07:37):
quote losers who had kids, like they figured it out.
And they were like, it's not great.
I'm not having as much fun as I would have earlier.
And I'm not as prepared as I wanted to be.
But you know, when you are back against the wall, you fight, you
know, And so I still had that apprehension of having kids

(07:57):
because that, oh, that means youmessed up.
Game over. And then I, I like looking at my
finances, crunching numbers likeI could have a kid and it'd be
perfectly fine. And it's weird.
That's a weird spot to be in which we are super fucking lucky

(08:18):
to have the good jobs that we doand live with our cost of living
that we do in the area we are. This entire state sucks and I
want to leave it. So that's what I was coming in
here today to talk about. So you can take that last part
back. I can reject that previous
statement. Yeah.
Now, if you're if you're wantingto create youngins, this is a

(08:40):
pretty good spot to do it. This is a good spot to buy a
house. The cost of livings much lower
than the adjacent areas and except for except for fucking.
And they won't learn fuck all atschool, so you don't have to
worry about that. Yeah, you can learn and ride in
the household. Yeah, as God intended.
And we elected Mark Wayne Mullen.
So who the he's our state's he'sour one of our state senator or

(09:03):
one of our senators. Fuck I.
Fucked up. That's a weird ass name.
Mark Wayne Mullen. He's a faggot piece of shit.
Everything that Dan Crenshaw hasallegedly done, this guy has
actually fucking done. Buys stock, votes on it, sells
it all the time, and is unapologetic about it.

(09:24):
He also voted down. He was the one that broke the
fucking. He's the one that broke the
fucking tie a couple days ago onwhether or not to release the
Epstein files and when he was when what's her name Had her
confirmation hearing. Vince McMahon's wife had her
confirmation hearing for Secretary of Education, which

(09:45):
that is hilarious that Vince, Vince McMahon's fucking Mcwife
is the Secretary of Education. I get it.
That's fucking funny. We live in the Ronald McDonald
House and not the one that fuckskids.
I'm talking about like the playground part of it.
Yeah, the Ronald McDonald House is definitely a front for child
sex traffickers. I'm also.

(10:05):
But we live in the play place. We live in a giant ball pit with
diapers in it. But.
There's a surprise. Needles, I'm going.
To see where I'm going to find it, there is a clip of Mark
Wayne Mullen asking Mark Twain. Mullen, bitch McMahon or
whatever her name is. She's probably a very nice

(10:25):
person. I don't really care.
Asking her about our education statistics back in like, you
know, a certain decade. And it's probably the funniest
and most disgusting thing I've ever seen.
So let me see if I can find thatreal quick.

(10:48):
Oh, Mark Wayne is one word that's even worse.
Mick Mahon. See if we can find that.
So he is a state wrestler? Oh dude.
Or like he or he was a big college wrestler you.
Got them cauliflower. Ears I'm trying to find see this

(11:13):
is it? No, he is the one that like got
up and wanted to take the head of the Teamsters outside to
fight him, which he'd win. But he's a because he's a
collegiate wrestler. And also, he has two fucking
first names. Yeah, don't fuck with someone
who has two fucking first names.They'll take you.
OK, here we go. Why is it fucking 5 minutes?

(11:36):
Senator Mullen, Thank you, Chairman.
Madam Chair, what's the definition of sanity?
Of sanity or insanity. In 1979 did in in reading.
In 1979 we the 1979. Stop.
I was trying to find it right here.
What was we ranked in reading and math in 1979?

(11:58):
Did you hear that I'm. Sorry, what?
What was we ranked nationally? He did it again, ranked.
In in Reading in 1979. We were very, very low on the
totem pole. We're.
Number What was we ranked 79? Today, oh in. 19/17/79.
What was we ranked I. Don't know what was we ranked.
Sounds fucking low to me. Was he in school during that

(12:23):
period? Because he definitely sandbagged
their scores. So yeah, fuck this place.
I want out of this fucking state.
See. That's why.
Our 'cause we're going to put them back.
In that's why our cost of livingis so low, because people can't
count that high. Yeah, it's.
Fucking nice. What was we ranked?
You only have. You don't even have to be smart,

(12:43):
you just have to be of moderate intelligence and then you're
already above the fucking curve.Yeah, Mark Wayne Malatin is a
faggot piece of shit and he. Is the dude Russell?
Someone's going to pack your shit in one of these days and
you're going to cream and you'regoing to cry.
That's fine. I will also say yeah, it's fuck

(13:03):
me in the ass. I dare you.
I have knives in there. He keisters blades on a regular
basis. You, you, you know, you walk
into a, a temple, you, you walk into like a, an Egyptian, you
know, burial, whatever. And you step on the wrong yeah,
and you step on the wrong tile and, you know, arrows start

(13:26):
flying out. You call those booby traps.
Well, you stick your Dick in my ass and it doesn't come out,
'cause it comes off. I call that booty traps.
I. Fucking like that.
I like that and we also know fora fact that the boulder will
roll down the hill, but it's just poop.
Yeah, I keep my butt hole stocked with shit.
You'll always get shit Dick. You ever sounded with feces

(13:50):
before? You're going to know, I promise.
I will give you syphilis. And he'll make you finish at
gunpoint that he doesn't have. I've never owned a firearm in my
life. Wouldn't think of it.
It's a big responsibility. Yeah.

(14:11):
It's also a God-given right. Also, you know how I was saying
yesterday, Les Wexner gave Epstein both of those houses,
the one in Ohio and the one in New York?
Yeah, I was wrong about that. I forgot the one in New York was
leased to him by the Department of State of the United States of

(14:34):
America after they confiscated it or seized it from guess who,
the Iranian government directly after Iran Contra.
That is the scandal that he financed or held or.
Moved the money for yeah, I don't know when this one's going

(15:00):
to come out. It won't be on Monday, it'll be
the next one. But.
Get prosecuted then. He didn't.
He got, he got prosecuted in thestate by and they let him go.
They gave him a slap on the wrist.
How did he end up in prison? I don't know somebody.
Burned him, said no. One time somebody burned him.

(15:21):
I don't know what happened, but he got burned.
He's like, now you actually haveto put your penis.
Inside the miner. I think the whole plan was just
fucking. Gross, but.
And he was like surprisingly innocent the entire time.
Yeah. I don't know why he came back to
the United States, because he was in, I think he was in Saudi
Arabia. That's where he was flying back

(15:42):
from. I believe when they arrest him,
they arrest him at the airport. It's strange, but it looks like
he could have fit in if he just grew a beard out.
Yeah, yeah, he's Jewish. It's true.
It all falls into place. Yeah, it's all coming together.

(16:04):
Yeah, so. Oh, and to go on.
So when he I explained this to you, but I don't think I've
explained it on the podcast. So back in the 80s, Ronald
Reagan decided to. Which ray gun is a pretty
fucking cool ass name, yes. Decided to sell illegally sell a

(16:28):
bunch of weapons to the Iranian government to fund the Contras
down in South America. The Contras it's not.
Illegal. When the president does it, it
is. Actually, no.
It's treason, is what it is. Nope, definitely not.
Especially when it's a sworn enemy of the United States in.
The interest of the leader of the free world.

(16:49):
Yeah, the interest of the leaderand not the actual free world.
So we're. His boss and we told.
Him No, his wife was his boss. We're.
His wife's boss. No, we didn't elect her.
That's that's the conundrum we find ourselves in.
So no Nancy, right? Again, the throat goat was his
boss. Fuck.

(17:10):
Yeah, yeah. So Reagan sells weapons to
Contras, the to Iran to fund thecontras they were fighting, I
believe the Sandinistas. And so he gave weapons to Iran.
Sold weapons to Iran. And used the proceeds to pay
for. To fund the Contras, to prop

(17:32):
them up in wherever the fuck that is.
It's in South America. I really don't care about that
that much. But the gun runner in this
situation was a man named Adnan Khashoggi.
You might recognize that last name, Jamal Khashoggi, his
nephew or son or brother, I can't remember which one.

(17:55):
It's one of them was he's a journalist for the Washington or
I believe for Wall Street Journal, for the Washington Post
was because he was executed by the Saudi Arabian government
back in like 2011, maybe 2018, Idon't know.
It was sometime in the 2000s. It was a big story when it
happened. The 10s, that is.

(18:17):
Adnan Khashoggi's nephew is Jamal Khashoggi.
Another nephew of Adnan Khashoggi is Dodi Al Fayed, the
guy that also died in that car accident that killed Princess
Diana. It's a weird family.
Anyway, so Adnan Khashoggi was the largest gun runner in the
world at the time, and he was the one trafficking these

(18:39):
weapons to Iran. His money guy, his fixer, his
financial fixer was none other then Jeffrey Epstein.
So Jeffrey Epstein was in the room in the planning stages,
working with the CIA for Adnan Khashoggi to fund and to finance

(19:02):
or to get this money, bring it back and give it to the US
government, to then give it to the contras after all that
happens, or I guess simultaneously at the time in
the 80s. The.
CIA was also using a airline called Air America to fly

(19:25):
cocaine back and forth from South America to the United
States for years, decades we're doing this bullshit but it
really picked up in the 80s and we Air America was basically
just ACIA front. It was a legit airline, but it
was 99% of the time just cocaine, right?
If you watch the movie about Barry Seal, that's what that's

(19:47):
all about is Air America is is in that thing anyway, so it's
Tom Cruise movie. So Epstein finds himself in Ohio
with a guy named Les Wexner. He's the guy that owns
Victoria's Secret or with the company that owns Victoria's

(20:10):
Secret, L Brands. It also owns probably.
Taco Bell or. Something no the the guy version
of Victoria's Secret. Not Hollister, no Abercrombie
and Fitch. OK, yeah, and probably
Hollister, I don't know. But so Les Wexner takes Epstein

(20:33):
under his wing and then what happens is so Air America was
based in Florida, in Miami, FL, Les purchases Air America, moves
it to Columbus, OH, and then signs power of attorney for not
only just Les Wexner himself, but also the company that he

(20:57):
just purchased. Air America signs power of
attorney over to Jeffrey Epstein, and Jeffrey Epstein now
owns and has power of attorney of Air America.
And then as soon as the Iran Contra scandal comes out, Air
America goes bankrupt. Then the State Department seizes

(21:18):
a like the nicest apartment in or the nicest townhouse in
fucking New York City from the Iranian government and leases it
to Jeffrey Epstein. And that is the Manhattan
townhouse that's always talked about, that was all wired up and
stuff. That's the townhouse, least from
the State Department. Least.

(21:39):
To so he to Jeffrey Epstein. He was like.
I don't know if he was paying itfor it or if he paid it off or
whatever, but it was given to him by the State Department of
the United States of America. That is a fact.
Nice. Yeah, so.
Anybody who says that there's noinvolvement from our CIA or we
had no idea about him, it's a lot fucking deeper than just

(22:03):
Alex Acosta going. Somebody told me he's
intelligence and I need to back off.
There is documents after documents after testimony after
testimony that this guy has beeninvolved in our government for
decades. It's not a conspiracy theory and
it's definitely not a left wing conspiracy theory.

(22:25):
So fuck Donald Trump and everybody involved in this cover
up. It's so stupid.
And The thing is, is the rumour,and this has been a rumour for a
long time, is and it's kind of bigger now because he's covering
it up is the reason he's covering up is the rumour is
that Jeffrey Epstein introduced him to Melania and he doesn't

(22:47):
want that coming out. She.
She's. She was, she was of age.
There was nothing, no impropriety there.
But he doesn't want that coming out, and that's all it is.
OK. Like, I'm sure there's more,
like I wouldn't be surprised if there's more, but like, the

(23:07):
rumour is this is that he's so fucking petty that he just
doesn't want people to know thathe was introduced to his wife by
Jeffrey Epstein. We all know you fucked.
Porn stars while she was pregnant.
We don't care. Yeah.
You got elected again. Get over yourself.
Now we care. Can you turn the AC on?

(23:30):
It's at 60, is it? It's set to that because.
It's not doing. Shit it's hitting me but it is
79° in here. I just checked.
Angle your tits so that it also hits me.
Just bounce it. Yeah.
Huh. Yeah, so you don't even have to
go into Galen Maxwell's massage connections through her dad just

(23:53):
by way of him graduating from high school, dropping out of
college, going to teach at the most prestigious high school in
the country as a math teacher with no degree being hired by.
And it was by Bill Barr, the ex attorney general, his dad, who

(24:15):
was the head of the OSS. And then once the OSS, he
retired out of the OSS as the head of the OSS, which is the
precursor to the CIAI thought. I thought he was in comedy.
I love his stuff. His stuff's a really good who?
Bill Barr. That's Bill Burr, Bill Burr's
dad, or Bill Barr's dad, Donald Barr.

(24:36):
Hired Jeffrey Epstein to teach math because he was, he was the
like the headmaster principal atthe this really most prestigious
school in New York at the time. Hired Jeffrey Epstein and a lot
of people from the CIA were hired out of that school.
And then from there, from that school, he went on to work for

(24:56):
Bear Stearns. That makes.
Which is a handler. A much grosser word.
Yeah. Well, I just thought of this
today. I think that he was working for
the CIA like that was just whether he knew it or not, which
I think he did, but whether he knew it or not, he was.
We just have so much proof of that.
But then there's plenty of evidence that Ghilane was

(25:17):
connected to Mossad as well. And I think that.
She. Was like his Mossad handler.
She's just too slick. She's not like she doesn't have
the dog brain that most women inthis situation that she's in
would have. Yeah, it's true.
I I never seen any photos of herlooking flustered.

(25:40):
Or yeah. Fucking.
That's what She's scary, Yeah. Yeah, yeah, so strange.
And she's smart. She doesn't talk to people on
camera. Nothing.
You. Think she's porked Epstein with
her cooter? For sure, yeah.
Nice. Is there a connection between

(26:05):
Miss Maxwell and Kardashian? What's her face, Kardashian?
Kim. No, no, no, no, no.
Mom is the mom, Kim. No.
Kris Jenner. Yeah, Yeah, I don't know.
They do look similar. They.
Look too similar? Well.

(26:27):
The Kardashians are Armenian, but I don't know if they're
Armenian through mom or dad. I don't know what matters.
Well, Armenians look well, I want Julie.
Oh, I want to establish a connection between Chris.
Well, I'm saying like that's whythey could look similar as they
might have the same ethnic background.
Armenian is. Sandland.
Yeah, 'cause Armenian is Serge Tonkin is Armenian.

(26:52):
He's pretty cool. Tonky and Tonky, he's weird.
Yeah. Blue tacky man.
Yeah, yeah. Wake up.
Yeah. So this is.
This. Picture is still called.
I wonder how much stuff is gonnacome out by the time this
episode comes out. Cuz this isn't gonna come out
on. But the Wall Street Journal is

(27:13):
about to publish, or already didpublish, a story about that
specific rumor about Trump's connections to Epstein via
Melania's introduction to Trump.And it's believed that that's
what they're working on. Or.
So if that's out already, then why would he continue to try to
hush it? No, I'm saying they're coming
out with that either now, like either today they already did,

(27:36):
or they're working on it. Like, it's been a huge rumor,
but like, I've heard this rumor since Epstein was like,
arrested. Like it's been kind of like a
thing that people thought. But if they're having evidence,
it'll be interesting because I don't know all the evidence
toward that. That's only something I've heard
before. And I mean, they're both in the

(28:03):
fashion model industry. Trump with Miss Universe and
then Epstein with, he basically owned Victoria's Secret.
He didn't actually just had power of attorney over all of
Les Wexner's companies. Can I have power of attorney

(28:24):
over you? Negative.
Dammit, Can I have power of attorney over your dog?
Yes, for bad guy spilled something.
I would say that that you best pray that I'm dead because if I
ever find out you hurt him, I will go taken on you.

(28:45):
No, what I would probably do is get a Social Security number for
him and just start putting him into debt.
He's. Going to have to whore himself
out. Yeah.
And he won't have any desire to do any of it because he's
clipped. What is the collections agency
going to do when they knock on your door and they just a dog
answers the door? They see a best boy.

(29:07):
Yeah, Am I speaking Sunday best?Am I speaking with dog of Ben?
And he's like, oh, I'm a dog. I can't talk, I mean, or I'll
get. Real sad and lay down and like I
miss him. Like I'm so glad he's fucking
gone. He made me do stuff for food,

(29:27):
Yeah. And then I kind of liked it and
then I realized that was kind offucked up.
Have you seen those fans that clip on your belt buckle?
And then also. I have them on.
I have one in my Amazon cart cart right now.

(29:48):
OK. So you don't have any experience
with it? No, but I'm.
About to try wield some of those.
Yeah, yeah, You have one. No, no.
I'm going to get 1 though. You look like Monkey D Luffy.
You got a red shirt on and you're wearing capris.
All you need is like a little Asian straw hat saying I'm going

(30:13):
to be king of the pirates. Yeah, I'm.
Going to take a shit on your hood.
That was more of an Usopp actually, the way I said that I
can't do a Monkey D Luffy. You got to have that fat lady
that does an hour toe. Oh, they're the same voice
actress. Probably not, but they sound
identical. They might.

(30:34):
They might be two sisters. Brothers.
Naruto has the annoying believe it thing.
What is the? I'm going to be king of the
Pirates. Is that really?
No, he doesn't really have a catch phrase necessarily, other
than like at the after like the end credits.
He like, you know, the TuneIn next time thing he always ends

(30:54):
it with I'm going to be king of the pirates.
And he he says it every once in a while, but it's nowhere near
the frequency of believe it. It's maybe like once every few
arcs he says it. Now it does get mentioned that
he wants to be king of the pirates maybe once or twice an
arc by others and maybe him but.So like, eventually he quits

(31:15):
saying it because he knows that it's possible.
Well, because he's probably kingof the Pirates at that point.
I haven't gotten there yet, but he doesn't want to be king of
the Pirates. I mean he's definitely good for
like the porn scene because he has like a stretchy penis I

(31:36):
would imagine. Yeah.
But aside from that, I don't know what value he brings.
Stick to itiveness I feel. Like that's present in
everything else. Ballsiness.

(32:04):
Hold on. I have a list of things that
he's good at once. Yeah.
Dude I would totally like retract my arm into my core and
then like make my ball sack likecome out and be in the shape of
an arm and just fucking like high 5 people all day.
Yeah. When they realized that it was
my balls all the entire day get a mutiny on my hands or on my

(32:27):
balls. Yeah, here's the list.
Shenanigans, skylarking, buffoonery, near do welling,
general silly antics, rapscallionism and Lance

(32:48):
Corporal esque activities. So like stuff like that.
Lance Corporal esque. I just love that video.
What the fuck is a Lance Corporal?
I think it's a corporal with a Lance, like the thing that they
joust with. It is pretty sick actually.

(33:09):
I'm definitely a Rear Admiral. I'm a Petty Officer.
I'm a technical Sergeant. I'm AJ Tech, Joint testicular
asshole Commission. I'm a major pain in the.

(33:31):
Ass I'm a major douchebag. General silly antics,
buffoonery. Can we listen to it again?
More than anything, just. Shenanigans.
Sky larking Buffoonery, near duwelling, general silly antics,

(33:58):
rapscalianism and Lance Corporalesque activities.
And then and then the description says flim flamming
and possibly a hint of balderdashing.
For sure, for sure. I really like, I really like

(34:21):
Skylarking Buffoonery. I really like that video.
He was struggling for words there.
I'm just I'm I really like skylarking.
I think that's a word that doesn't get used enough.

(34:42):
I don't know he used it in the proper context well.
It needed to azan. This guy moaned at least this
loud. This guy.
His experience at the Glory Hole.

(35:10):
Sky Larking. It's a really good one.
Buffoonery. General silly antics.
I'm not going to get that out ofmy head.
Shenanigans. Tomfoolery.
Who is Thomas Foolery? Anyway I.

(35:32):
Don't know but he he left a one hell of a legacy.
Oh man. Benny Keithery.
Yeah, Ben Keithery, Russell Shackle, Ferdinand for for

(35:52):
danderness. Rusty Shackle, Ferdinand
Magellan. How about you explore these
balls? How about you, Marco?
How about you circumnavigate my asshole?
How about you, Marco? Pull over those pants down.
Marco, pull these pants. And I'm going to Lewis and

(36:17):
Clark. You in the mouth.
I don't. Understand how puns, but that
felt aggressive I. Don't know how puns work.
How about to hire a cartographerto map these balls?
He's like, you see that mountainous region there that's
cancer. I'll.
Need a second opinion, this is really troubling me.

(36:43):
Yeah, Oh oh man, why does prostate and prostate sound so
close to each other? Hard and soft and then castrate.
Now you're asking the burning questions.
It shouldn't be burning. Your Saturday nights are boring.

(37:09):
You know what James said to me? He goes, you got any plans this
weekend? And immediately my answer is
always probably, but it's going to be mostly sleeping.
And he goes, oh, OK. Well, today's my birthday.
And I was like, oh, I don't care.
And he's like, so I'm going to get into some trouble tonight.
I was like, oh, yeah. He goes hopefully it's a girl

(37:30):
named Trouble like I hate. He forced you to walk off that
plane. It was so annoying.
Dude, he has offspring. He has an offspring, yes, and
he's having a harder and harder time getting time with that kid.

(37:54):
Yeah, but apparently his ex, like, broke the lob in the way
that she took him because she didn't have like, a residency
where she was. She she had to be there for
like, 90 days before she could, like, have full custody.
And she was she had like, just moved there before she took him.
But his lawyer didn't notice. Like, didn't do anything about

(38:16):
it. And now it's like, too late.
So he said his new lawyer might be able to do something.
Yeah. You know how I told you he was
going to wait till he got a bonus?
He didn't wait. Good.
He's like, yeah, I'm so proud ofmyself for not making rash
decisions next day. So I made a really rash
decision. A trigger on my fucking jaw.

(38:40):
Eating soup's interesting now, so I thought the lake.
Looked funny so I jumped off of the Cliff.
You ever try to snort a bathtub of water?
It's like that, but. Bullets.
Oh, there's a really cool way tomake an upside down necktie.

(39:04):
Stool kickers could either be a really sad name or a fucking ass
kicking reference. Stool kickers, Yeah, like guys
that just like kick shit. You kick the stool either out
from under yourself or you kick so much ass and it could be
both. I feel like that is the perfect

(39:25):
culmination of what describes our teeth.
I. Don't know if you're kicking ass
and touching fecal matter. That's how hard you kick ass.
I think that makes you. Gay, not with your penis.
How often do you? Kick with your penis.
I'm talking about with your feet.
If your any part of your body goes in another ass other than

(39:45):
your own, you. Kick it so hard that feces can.
See Why are You hard? That's that's true.
It's to assert dominance. And that's if they.
See if they see your inch, they'll naturally be fearful.
Give you an inch and you'll justtake your.
Smile. I'll give you an inch and I'll

(40:07):
make you smile. Fuck, that's stupid.
Yep. Did we talk about the egg shell
thing yesterday? Yeah, we did.
Yeah, we were here. We.
Commented on that. That was that was fucking crazy.

(40:27):
They were still talking about itlast night after I left.
Woodworking is like one of the most prestigious skill sets that
is underappreciated. How do we make woodworking sexy?
Oh, you make Nick Offerman stop doing it, and that's one thing.

(40:48):
You know what? I'm so hurt at what he's done.
It makes me so sad. He hated you.
Formed one of the best characters that's ever been on
fucking TV. Yeah, and he also made one of
the gayest comedy specials threetimes in a row.
Yeah, you would think you would understand that what he was
doing was parody, but. He's making fun of me.

(41:11):
Yeah, but like. And I took it so sincerely.
But because. Because the character is on the
right side of history. Like, they don't understand what
parody means, you know? Yeah, 'cause like, they're
trying to make fun of a thing that's just, like, irrefutably
good. And so they just do the thing.
That's the good guy. They just made a good guy.

(41:32):
And they're like, look at this good guy.
Isn't he so fucking gay and dumb?
And we're like, no, I don't actually understand why you have
this serious character in this funny TV show.
I get it. He's what a reasonable person
would be doing in all these absurd situations.

(41:53):
Yeah, it's like, oh, oh, the joke's on me.
You're getting a call for oh man, spam risk was calling you.
Nah, fuck, our bass and guitarist are messaging me and I
don't want to answer it. I'll wait.
They'll wait, they always do. He's got the same, well, almost
the same. I don't remember who.

(42:15):
I was talking about this to somebody, like yesterday him.
But like, also like David Harbour and Ron Perlman are like
my nemesis. Do you know who they are?
Yeah. OK, I don't know who Dave
Harbour is. The guy from Stranger Things
like the cop dad. Oh yeah, yeah, because they can

(42:37):
grow mustaches. Ouch, but no.
That's literally what they all have in common.
It's the fake tough guy thing. Nick Offerman's a little bit
different because he is mostly aa Twinkie gay guy in real life.
But like, same attitude toward like me, basically.
Yeah. But like Ron Perlman

(42:58):
specifically is the leader of this retarded gay like fake
tough guy pack that they have and David Harbour's like second
in command of their like retard gang.
And but it is also like the guy that that played the guy in Taxi

(43:18):
driver. Are you talking to me?
That guy, whatever his name is, Robert De Niro, huge fag fake
tough guy never had. He's never even had.
The reason why they're so in well informed on how they can
portray these characters is because they've been drooling
and lusting after them for so long.
Because. Even they idolize them, but

(43:40):
they've been so pussy whipped that they are like, but in real
life, I I was just pretending todo that, even though that's
probably how they seriously feelthey need to be operating in
this world. Yeah.
Yeah, it didn't. They want to be dominated by
cool biker guys, is what you're saying.
I mean, I think that's what you're saying.

(44:03):
Also, Ron Perlman looks like a Harambe.
He's white. I can say it.
He looks like a monkey. Tell me he's not black on the
inside. Has he had black on the inside?
Definitely. Nice.

(44:24):
But I also find it really funny.You know, Nick Offerman is on
his high horse and then he playsthe same guy he plays around
Swanson, but gay in The Last of Us.
He's trying to blend the two. Worlds he blends the two worlds
creates one of the greatest episodes of television in a long

(44:45):
time but it is funny that he is that good at being gay just.
Comes naturally. I need to look up if Ron Perlman
is black on the inside. Ron Perlman ethnic makeup and it
just shows him a blackface. Pearlman.

(45:09):
You added an A for some reason. Because that's how you spell
Pearl. Do we get to 1?
A. Ethnicity or ethic?
Yeah. Yeah, all right.
He's Jewish. Oh, he's Jewish.
I can say it. Monkey looking ass motherfucker.

(45:33):
He's the. Toughest looking Hebrew guy I've
ever seen in my life. He looks like if Will Ferrell
were serious, he like he looks like Mugatu.
He does. He was in part of the.
Trifecta. So what is his name?
Chad Smith. He does he does he?

(45:58):
I didn't realize how much he does look like him, Yeah.
And Will Ferrell, yeah, they're all the same person, but they
just put prosthetics. On him.
I never realized how much like Will Ferrell he looks like look
he's also this is. They barely had to do.
They barely had to do any. I didn't know that this movie
existed, but guys. Look up Beauty and the Beast.

(46:18):
Not very featuring. What the fuck am I looking at?
The bitch from Terminator. Is that I was just going to say
that is that. Yeah, that's Sarah Connor.
Oh my God. Sarah Connor and Mufasa. 1987
Good God, I'm just going to do Ron Perlman monkey.

(46:45):
Oh no. And would you look at that?
Just two pictures of Ron Perlman.
It's just two pictures of the same guy.
It's strange they would do that,but.
Yeah, I hate that guy. Like with.

(47:05):
Wait, look at the patch on his vest.
Does it say President farts? No, it says president first.
Have you ever watched Sons of Anarchy?
No, it is one of the most homoerotic television shows in
the world. So I had a my ex-girlfriend in
high school, her family was obsessed with that show.

(47:26):
And so every time a new episode would come out, if I was over
there that we'd all have to watch it.
And I'm just sitting there undera blanket, you know, hanging
out. But I wasn't paying attention.
But I was on minor snizz. No have.
You ever fucked a minor, Russell?

(47:46):
Answer the question what? Not as a major, that's for sure,
but a. Major in minor studies.
That means he's ACP hound. Oh yeah, put it right in your

(48:08):
jaw. Yeah, that show is so gay.
Fuck yeah. And then it ends, and I actually
fuck you if you're upset about hearing the end of a show that
is made for homosexuals who wantto be straight guys.

(48:31):
But the show ends with the main character ghost riding his whip
into a semi truck. Is ghost riding when you like?
No, that's when you get out. Yeah.
OK, No, He lets go of the handlebars and just kind of like
Jesus Christ poses. Into the bots Into yeah.
Yeah, he flow bots into an oncoming semi truck.

(48:55):
I'm not going to explain that, Jim.
The people who need to understand it will get that.
Good song. That's that's a good song.
Dude, dude, we just name a fucking trick.
That's. Not even that hard to do.
Flowbotting. You guys flowbotting yesterday?
Yeah, it looked pretty fucking cool.

(49:15):
Yeah, I didn't watch the full show 'cause I just, it was too
fucking gay for me. But can you?
Explain the gay parts. Just.
Too much. Appreciating detail.
It's it's all over acting and guys caring about the the what
the what each other is wearing. That is actually just biker

(49:38):
culture. Yeah.
Yeah, they are very, very, very.I didn't say that about biker
culture. I said that about Sons of
Anarchy. They wear very tight leather.
No, I don't. Found some way to incorporate
fucking flips. Bikers are fine with me, and I
don't think that they're gay at all.
I don't think that bikers are gay at all.

(50:00):
You know they are. I don't think that it's just a
way to hang out with other dudesthat you want to have sex with
at all. And you don't think that it's a
way to advertise your butt cheeks while protecting
everything? Else, I don't think that just
because you call it a club doesn't mean it's a gang.
I I don't think that at all. I mean, wait, hold on.
Young Men's Club of America. I agree with the sentiment that

(50:22):
it's not a gang, it's just a club of guys that just hang out
and do charity and definitely don't, you know, buy and sell
drugs to children. So that they can.
Butt stuff with other guys. I don't think that at all.
But in Sons of Anarchy, that is kind of what the show is about.
It's just kind of a bunch of guys who are pretending to not

(50:43):
be gay around each other. I feel like the logistics may be
challenging, but do you think like the hazing initiation
rituals that like the all human centipede nuts to butts with
only their chaps on and they fucking super thrust into each
other in one giant circle? I feel like that's what they do

(51:04):
and that's why they're so secretive about it.
Do you know? Also, do you even need a
treasury for a bike club? I don't think you do.
I feel like that's excessive. Someone just made-up a rule so
that they can smell each other'sfeasts.
Yeah, at least the Crips and theBloods like are like.
Yeah, no, we kill. Or the Crips.
They we just go like, yeah, no, we kill people and fuck each

(51:27):
other up. Yeah, like we, this is a gang.
We hurt people and we're, we're made for hurting people.
Motorcycle clubs are just like, no we do, we do rides for like
charity and stuff. Don't mind the arms trafficking
which I'm OK with, but like don't pretend you're not
committing major felonies just by existing.

(51:51):
Maybe it started off as a way tolike get the government off
their tail. And so they started kissing each
other like when they found this,like, and then they're and.
They took advantage of the homophobia of of the police
force, Yeah. And then after a while, like,
hey, we've rooted him out, he's been gone for like 6 months.
Can we get back to like doing cool stuff?
He's like, no, I think we're in a good groove right now.

(52:14):
We're just finding our rhythm. Who is that fucking rock star?
Who's who? Like no one has ever heard a
single thing that he's ever made.
But and everybody hates him and he's an actor as well.
It's not Jared Leto because everyone's.
Heard No, he's older. He's probably Ron Perlman's age

(52:35):
are. You talking about that dude who
just keeps putting out that 1/2 song for like social media ads?
No, no, no, no, no. This is different.
This guy's actually famous, but only in like famous people
circles. He's on Rogan.
He's been on Rogan a couple times.

(52:55):
I can't fucking remember his name.
I feel like you're. Fabricating a human being.
No, but he played a character onSons of Anarchy that left the
the the patch. Is it Jesse James?
No, and he there's an episode he's.
Off the patch, he's going to getpregnant.
Yeah, and so he and he was supposed to get this tattoo

(53:20):
removed and he never did. And they caught him.
And so they kidnapped him, ripped his clothes off and cut
the tattoo off. That's the gayest thing that's
ever happened. They're going to use that meat
Taco for some activities later. Yeah, it's like nothing about
that show is straight and all the women in it ugly as fuck.

(53:41):
They're all secretly men. Yeah, and it's got Taylor.
Sheridan in it, so he plays the deputy.
I thought that was a lady. Taylor Sheridan.
Fuck that. The guy that made the the show
about Montana. Yellowstone.
Yeah. Kevin.
Costner No Taylor Sheridan KevinCostner didn't make Yellowstone.

(54:05):
He was in Yellowstone. Are.
You saying he didn't make Yellowstone?
I mean, he did. As soon as he quit or got fired,
the show died. But then he can't make anything
by himself, so that's fine 'cause as soon as he left, he
tried to make a giant western epic series and it failed the
first one and they scrapped the second one even though they'd

(54:26):
already finished filming it. I didn't watch it.
He was says it was good, but I'malso not a huge western guy.
Like I'll watch him, I'll watch him, but like, I'm not like
there hasn't been a good modern western in a long time.
That's kind of why I liked Yellowstone in the beginning.
'Cause it was like an actual. Not fucking Cowboys and aliens.

(54:46):
What? It's not Cowboys and Indians,
it's Cowboys and aliens. I mean, what's happening on the
border? I didn't get there in time.
OK. I farted before I get the mic.
I didn't. Hear us on that time and like
when you give. Up there is a turd right there,
but I I knew that was going to be there, but I did shit.

(55:10):
Before I came, I knew. I was going to shit my pants.
I didn't know. I don't have accidents.
I have intentionals. I just intentionaled myself.
I just had an intentional. Yeah, yeah, I caught you on the

(55:32):
radio. I just had an intentional with
another guy. Yeah, I hit him at about 40
miles an hour. I'm not going to be in for work.
He better not walk away from this.
Have you played Ready or Not yetor Here I come?

(55:55):
Your SWAT team, it's basically the Call of Duty, but instead
you're a SWAT team and you go inand no, OK, it's pretty cool.
I want to play it. I think it just came out for
consoles. I don't have the time for video

(56:16):
games. I barely play Minecraft.
I play card games. I play solitaire.
I'm an old man. You don't like video games?
I do, I'm just bad at though. I don't.
Have to lie to us, Russell, we're here for.
What do you mean? I spent the entire time that we
were on furlough playing video games and it was like real video
games. It was Subnautica.

(56:41):
Sub erotica where you fantasize about being a sub and a.
Domino. No, it's it's you get stranded
on a planet. That's all water.
It's you so hard that he uses your.
And you have to survive. And there's fish.
And there's also scary fish. So what do you do for food down

(57:02):
there? You have to find it and forward.
You can cook it, Hunt, fish. Yeah, do you?
Make fish sticks. I don't remember what the food
is like so. You didn't even play it that
much. Then no, I played it a lot.
It's like but you can't even. Remember, no, it I mean, you
don't realize, you realize I was100% wasted the entire time that

(57:24):
I was on furlough. I don't think there was a single
moment where I was sober. It was wake up drank, sit down,
drank, roll up drank, whatever that song is.
That was my life. It was the best six weeks of my
life. I'm sure my wife loved it.
I mean, she did enjoy some of itbecause we would go on walks and

(57:46):
stuff. Why?
Always like, come back to consciousness in the middle of
the walk, yeah. Here's Here's my stand, my
totally original stand up routine.
Wives are like dogs. Take them on a walk every once
in a while and they'll be happy.Mine feels differently.

(58:08):
Well, your wife is like a cat. Leave her alone and she'll come
to you. Yeah, when I'm trying to be
alone myself. Yeah, and I'm allergic to her
and she makes me want to gamble because Toxo.

(58:30):
Oh, yeah. We talked about this morning how
they found out that, you know, cats are bad for female
reproduction because of toxo. That's been known for a while.
That's like bad for the development of the fetus.
Yeah, it'll different. For us, it can kill the fetus
just outright. But for us recently there's been

(58:51):
some studies that show, and by studies I mean videos under a
microscope of sperms being fucking decapitated by this
parasite like ninja shit. Yeah, I was about to say Itachi
eat Uchiha is in your ball bag. Just what's the other one?

(59:17):
The fucking cool one that I always forget the name of.
That one Toxo sperm. It's not Sukiyomi.
That is one it's. Fucking fucking some storm God
thing. Yeah.

(59:40):
Susano, Yeah. Susano he.
Fucking goes into a giant suit of ghosts.
Yeah, fucks up your ball bag. I didn't realize the Naruto was
a ghost smack until I got to like, wait, we got to stop.
Doctor Peanut Butter's going to start watching that show.
I don't want to ruin it for him.It gets weird.

(01:00:01):
Just think of that as something to look forward to, because it
gets fucking awesome. Yeah, it is.
There's a fucking ghost, Mack. I mean this in all sincerity.
That sounds gay as fuck. It's the coolest thing ever when
it happens. And then they put a puppy dog in
the ghost mech, which is fuckingawesome.
I don't remember that, but Oh yeah, that was awesome and.

(01:00:22):
It turns out that wasn't even the first.
Time, yeah. Then a tree beats the shit out
of people, which is. Pretty cool.
OK, stop. I'm trying to find an image.
From one of the videos Apple so much.

(01:00:45):
So this is some examples of whathappens to your sperm.
On the top is like the ones thathave been confronted by the the
parasite and on the bottom two or the regular ones.
Who? Those have been mangled.
Yeah. Fuck yeah.
Yeah. It's good, It's good.

(01:01:07):
Yeah, these poor little guys will never make it all because
you had a cat in your house. All 'cause you're a simp and you
let your wife win the argument, you let it become an argument.
Yeah, God didn't want us to havecats.
I really think that he does everything to keep cats out of

(01:01:27):
your house by by making them notwant to be there in the first
place. That's true.
And then he gives 90% of people who want cats the inability to
breathe when they're around them.
True. And then he makes anybody who is
involved with picking up cat shit angry because of an animal

(01:01:52):
living inside of you. Yeah.
And also he makes babies not happen because of cats.
Yeah, it's like, obviously thesegenetics are bad, they need to
be purged, so let's go ahead andcut them out of the gene pool
with precision. Yeah, so like, stop, Jordan, I
know that you like cats. I like cats too.

(01:02:13):
I just can't be around him because my eyes start coming out
of my face. The.
Back of his hand starts being real attracted his fucking wife.
Wouldn't answer yeah, but like. Get that magnet out.
Of my risk, they make cats literally make you a worse
person like because of the diseases that they carry.

(01:02:34):
The disease's main symptom is making you a gambler.
Yeah, making you drive like an absolute Chad.
'Cause if you guys don't know Toxoplasmaosa Gandhi, it's a
it's a parasite that lives in fleas and what happens is it

(01:02:54):
reproduces in cat feces. So what they do is they get into
mice cause mice tend to be around shit.
Trick the mice into hanging. Around No, no, they make the
mice. They what they do is they get in
the mouse's brain and they make the mouse, they turn off the
fear part of their brain. And they also make them

(01:03:15):
attracted to. And they make them attracted to
the smell of cat urine. So in So what it does is it
basically makes you more daring and take take risks is what it
does. It turns off like the risk has
it like hesitation part of your brain and puts so it makes them
docile to cats. And then it gets eaten by the
cat and then it gets in the cat and in the cat shit and it

(01:03:38):
reproduces and it starts all over again.
And when it gets into people, people aren't scared of cats,
they're scared of losing money and dying in car accidents, and
it turns that off. Imagine how many amazing
business deals have taken place because of that, though.
Yeah. Is it called people's bluff?
Was like, you're not going to pull out of this contract.

(01:03:58):
Like Epstein was probably a cat person.
That's why he was so daring withall those kids, you know?
Is that why kids terrify me because I haven't had enough
cats? Yeah, get more cats.
You'll start being statutory rapist I guess I.
Was going to say like be willingto have them around me at all.

(01:04:19):
Oh dude yesterday was rough. I was like, I started second
guessing, like all of my decisions.
Yeah, that kid was. Fucking hooligan.
Yeah, I, I and. The other two kids were like
awkward as shit. Yeah, I, well, I think one of
them had, I think they're was there still a, a, a suburban

(01:04:39):
style vehicle in the driveway when you go here.
OK. They were here when I got here.
They were in the tiny house withhim.
Yeah. Oh, yeah.
You, you heard them. Yeah.
Which that's also troubling. She left the kids here.
Why were they? That's so the the the Suburban

(01:05:00):
was not here when you got here. No, but the kids were.
Professor Aurelius was in the tiny house monitoring us, us
alone with looking at you. We need to have a.
Serious conversation about this Also, I made like a an awesome

(01:05:20):
like sugar Mama comment and thenshe he comes like it's like
Speaking of so I know that something's going on there,
which is like. With him, maybe not.
With her, she doesn't have money.
No, they're, I don't think they are.
I don't think they are. I think she thinks maybe here's

(01:05:41):
the dynamic. Maybe he thinks he can get
something and she thinks she canalso get something of monetary
value or childcare value, but can't because he has no money
and probably can't take care of kids.
Some canoodling, but she's of age so that's cool.
So am I. You throw any hat in the ring,

(01:06:04):
Russell. Is there money involved?
Who's dead? So no, I'm not.
I do not even own a hat. Want to throw your foreskin in
the ring? I already did that.
I lost. All right, I think we can call

(01:06:25):
it. Goodbye, everyone.
I hope you have a wonderful time.
Good Morrow, if you're hearing this.
Love you. I'm on vacation.
Bye. None.