138: Gym Class Villains

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
You are now entering the prism. Yeah.
What? Hello.
Hello. Good afternoon.
You're so far down now. All right.

(00:21):
You sons of bitches. We're sabotaging Dino's output.
Welcome, Black to the Chill Prism podcast.
Welcome, Black. Yeah.
Yeah, inward. But donk a ducks.

(00:42):
I mean we should look up the history of Ebonics.
Be fucking hilarious. The history of.
Ebonics. I think it started with clicks
and pops. Yeah.
Yeah. And then someone misinterpreted
that as a threat and yeah, probably violence ensued.
And then? The public.

(01:02):
The government was like in public schools, we need to teach
white folk how to talk to black folk.
Don't do that. Let me tell you my history with
Ebonics first of all. Did you actually have an Ebonics
class in your high school? No, just the word Ebonics in
Ebony. So my grandparents had a little

(01:22):
Wiener dog named Ebony. That was that was the
introduction to that word. I did not know it meant, you
know, black. I didn't know anything about the
wood. That's a.
Little Black. Wiener anything about it.
So then and I never like she Ebony died when I was little so
it was like before I was like spelling words.

(01:43):
So I didn't know how to spell Ebony and then in 7th grade when
I started looking at porn I saw the what I thought what I read
in my head was Ebony. Right.
And I was like, well, that's I get boners.
I guess that's what I guess that's like boner, I guess
that's black people, 'cause you click on it, it's just black

(02:03):
people. So I'm like, OK, that's weird.
And then my neighbour's dad would make like custom pens,
like he'd spin, you know, pens on the OR wood on the lathe.
And he had some ivory and he also had some Ebony wood that he

(02:26):
used. He definitely didn't get the the
ivory he had was definitely not real so.
Please don't put a boot through his door.
Yeah, please leave. Him alone.
He's a good man just trying to make a living.
And he and so like, I saw this Blackwood and I was like, did
you like stain there? He's like, no, it's Ebony wood.

(02:48):
I was like, OK. Dogwood.
I've heard of Dogwood. And then later on I heard of.
So I at that point I realized, OK, the word Ebony means black.
I didn't like it, didn't harken back to like the dog.
Like that was gone out of my memory until like today,
basically just now when we starttalking.
About So you were like thinking about porn while you're.

(03:09):
Talking about no, because I still didn't connect the two.
I thought that was Ebony becauseI still had never seen the word
Ebony and saw and heard the wordEbony at the same time.
So I'm thinking, OK, Ebony, you know how to read.
And then I hear well that's I amdyslexic.
And then and then I hear the word Ebonics and that's referred

(03:30):
to how black people talk. So that like further like made
me think that it was pronounced Eboni because it's Ebonics.
Eboni. Yeah, it's like Ebonics.
So I'm like, oh, that's how likethat's just that's an erotic
word. Ebonics.
Like that is that just that's just porn related for me, like

(03:52):
in my head. So you like to.
So every time somebody talks about Ebonics, I don't think
racism, I think porn. And I was never into like, like
Ebony porn like. It just piqued your interest for
a little. Bit no, like like it's literally
just how I learned what the wordmeant was just and then I and

(04:15):
then I later realized oh, it's because of like that's like I I
don't know exactly why it's that, but has something to do
with the tree. Yeah and I know the trees in
Africa, isn't it? Yes, yes, so there's something
there, but I had I had no idea. So now when somebody says

(04:37):
Ebonics, I get like uncomfortable, like I don't want
to talk about porn with you, even though I now know that
they're talking about the way neighbors talk where it just in
it's like the lizard like. Yeah, you're defaulting to your.
Ritual. You might.
Yeah. My default is just we.
That's disgusting that you wouldbring this up in civilized

(04:57):
conversation. Yeah.
Can we talk about porn? I do like you.
Don't. Even like at this.
Point right, Ebony? No, I don't.
What is that? Oh no, I don't like that back,
back. Down she.
Russell's response was immediate.
Roll back down. He had such a an adverse
reaction to hearing. You know how I feel about that

(05:18):
shit. Just like trying to vomit.
Scrolls back, not interested. Let's just keep going.
I don't think he. Heard what you said?
No, no, no, Dino missed that one, fortunately.
Which is good. Yeah, let's keep his virgin ears
intact. Yeah, I've been told to let you
know there's been a ceasefire onthe Gay Chicken war on the
Discord. And then I told them he's not

(05:40):
going to care. That's true.
Dino will not give a fuck. He barely gives a fuck about
things that he likes. I kind of want to know what it
is now. What?
What's a gay chicken war? Are we talking about how gay you
are or? Yes, Oh yes.
Everybody was calling me gay andI was fighting back violently.

(06:01):
And then I was told to let you know.
No, you didn't. You didn't help at all actually.
You didn't help yourself. All I do is help myself, you.
Didn't help yourself, You causedthis.
Yeah, This is why I wasn't. I shouldn't have brought it up.
Yeah. I try.
I'm trying to be a nicer person.Speaking of nice, like nicer is

(06:23):
a or Ebony is like a nicer way to say black porn 'cause there
is a term called blacked. Yeah that's how I prefer to like
refer to it cause Ebony sounds so to me because ebonics now is
like a semi like racist coded way to say and speak.

(06:45):
It's like Ebony porn makes it sound racist, whereas like black
makes it sound less racist. Yeah, it sounds like more sought
after and cold when you're seeing this giant arm going
down. Yeah.
Yeah, that's black, though. Ebony is whenever you're going
for a black female, you want to be like female mostly.
Blacked is a black guy digging down anything.

(07:09):
Like also cuckold. It's weird how like 90% of that
stuff is a black dude. Yeah.
Yeah, like why is that the? Fantasy.
Very strange. It's.
It shouldn't be. It's strange.
You'd want to still feel some traction from your significant
other after. I mean, I guess if you're
getting cooked, you're not really ever participating in

(07:29):
that. I think for anything, they're
looking for the biggest thing that could enter and they
automatically go for a black guy.
That's what that is. They want to watch.
They like being. They want to watch them doing
yeah that, and then the bigger it is.
That's that. For some reason it brings them
pleasure, which is fucking weird.

(07:50):
It is weird, yeah. I can't wrap my head around
that. Like, you know, the the cringey,
I just see red and I just fuck them up.
Like, yeah, yeah, I probably would just cry honestly, but and
like just cry and then shoot myself.
Use three bullets. But like I can't wrap.
So like I I can't wrap my head. Yes.

(08:10):
I can't wrap my head around likeenjoying that or getting any
sort of pleasure out of that. Yeah, it's just rage and.
Betrayal. No fucking sadness.
Especially if I'm end up watching it.
There's a problem if I'm watching in the 1st place 'cause
I definitely didn't arrange this.
But do you think like the first time that that happened like the

(08:31):
husband like accidentally snuck in, he was like being quiet
cause like the kids were asleep or something, some weird
scenario like that and he saw them happening.
He just like sat down in his armchair with like a fucking
whiskey and his. Watch Well I I think cucking
comes from like the French. It's from it will never
understand. No, it's from the French.
I think it comes from having a micro penis and not being able

(08:52):
to do your wife correctly. French and you want.
That is pretty French activity. Fair enough, fair enough.
And you can't. The the human we can't
understand exactly what goes on in a French man's brain.
Besides, nor would I want to. Besides, don't take showers.
You know what's crazy? Cody was over in Italy, which is

(09:15):
close enough to France for me tocall it almost the same.
I think France is like a stinkier Italy if that's the way
my brain categorizes. It.
Yeah, yeah, because. Yeah, you know people.
Yeah, France is like where all the Italian monkeys live.
Calm down, Russell. Calm down, racist.

(09:35):
Some people would say that Sicily.
Could be could. Be.
But think about it. When you think of an Italian
guy, it's a slick. Well, it's either a really fat,
gross guy. Dirty and hairy.
See when I think that's Greek? Also, yeah.
Same thing. What?
Is, yeah, pretty much all. Miles away.
All Mediterranean whites are thesame, yeah.

(09:58):
Travel 40 minutes. So like French is just Italian
with poop? We.
Yeah, we, we. All that to say, like the the
mindset of there doesn't make sense cuz like Cody works out
pretty religiously. I mean we've all seen him.
He's stays pretty like yoked andslim.

(10:20):
He's a shorter dude, which people overseas are pretty
short, but he's like I was getting no, he's.
Tall over there. I'm saying that he wouldn't
stand out for the reason of height.
No, it's going to definitely be the the reddish.
But he was getting, like, no attention from anyone because he
was, because he worked out, because he was like, too like,

(10:43):
masculine. Yeah.
Yeah. So everyone of their like lady
is. This the air?
Yeah, OK. Yeah.
We referred to him as multiple things on the show.
This is the first time you've called him Cody, so OK.
Yeah, this is the first time I've heard him.
I knew who you were talking about though.
Yeah, yeah. But he just.

(11:04):
He's gay. He's pretty gay.
You know, calm down. Do you know, we need to pivot
away. We need to get a fresh joke.
Yeah. He's going to get what's called
Ben Gay. I mean, that is an ointment,
yeah. Do you know what Campo Phenique

(11:25):
is? Bendova.
It's kind of it's an ointment too.
It's like menthol Y though I think.
Isn't it like pink or something?But you're supposed to like put
it on shit and pull. Finique.
It sounds like Vicks VapoRub mixed.
With yeah, but it's like a, it'svery like wet and oily.
It's not. It's not.

(11:47):
So what's, what's the pink stuffcalled?
Is it? Is that Pepto?
Pepto Bismol. No, there's this stuff that you
put on you and it's like pink. Band-Aid?
No, I really don't know what thepink ointment stuff is.
I've never had a pink Band-Aid put on me, so no.
I had a cast once. There's a Hello Kitty Band-Aid

(12:08):
that's put on the cast. This is Campophonique, I'm sure
you guys have never seen it before.
Yeah, No, I'm not. Familiar, but I don't know
because. It's like those old Bayer
aspirin pain and itch relief. Cold sores.
Insect bites anyway like you just put it on stuff and it does
kind of like have a VIX style like tingle to it.

(12:32):
Olfactory sensation, my great. Grandma, I like that you said
that instead of smell. Yeah.
Or. Fragrance like my great grandpa.
Didn't go fancy, went scientificand I fucking love.
That my great grandpa used to drink that shit.
Whoa. It was his magical cure all.
He would put it on sores and if he had a cough he'd drink it.

(12:57):
I mean, he already got nailed with the fucking Agent Orange
so. No, that's his son.
Oh, OK. Yeah.
OK, I was about to say, like whoever gets hit with Agent
Orange and survives could probably drink diesel fuel and
be fucked. Yeah, might actually feel better
for a little bit. You might I'm he never drank.

(13:18):
My grandpa he he drank once and it was 'cause my dad tricked him
with a beer like the year beforehe died.
Drinking. Yeah.
I don't know why. Like why there was beer in the
fridge. Somebody from church brought it,
I think. I like this church.

(13:40):
But yeah, it was really weird. And and my dad went to get my
grandpa some iced tea, but instead poured a beer in his
glass. And it was like one of those
kind of like a hospital mug where it's like clear, like a
water jug thing. And so he poured the beer in

(14:01):
there and my grandpa took a sip.And it's hard to describe
because you've never been able you you never met him.
So you can't picture what he does when he's angry.
But his eyes bulge the fuck out of his head and he goes, what is
this? And he was genuinely mad at my
dad for a long time, given this is after he's kind of lost his

(14:22):
mind and is yelling at me for not, you know, figuring out how
to change the channel because like, he completely lost his,
there's no oxygen in getting to his brain anymore and he's just
going crazy. He's accusing me of breaking the
TV because he can't figure out how to use the remote.
It's, it was nuts, yeah. That was like the little last

(14:45):
year he was alive. But yeah, he was mad and he
couldn't do anything about it 'cause he's paralysed from the
waist down, so it's not like he'd have to like.
Couldn't he just reach across the house?
Yeah, I mean, that is true. He did have the reach.
This is one of those where you wait until they forget, yeah.

(15:06):
He'll probably will forgotten bythat point.
Yeah, he's old man. Oh my God, I can't wait to be a
menace when I get old. Aw man, I'm so close.
I'm already a menace so. That's true.
You'll mellow out. I was like all for like going
like if I have kids like not I could like I was excited for the

(15:28):
time where they have to change my diapers.
But then I had to help my dad inthe hospital a couple months ago
and I'm just like, man, if he feels this shitty about it, I
can't imagine how I'm gonna feel.
I need to learn to hate my kid. That's only because he knows
you. Just get someone to do it that
doesn't know you and you don't know them.

(15:49):
And then you could just laugh. There is a nurse, there is a
Hospice nurse that lives near where I live that I would love
to do that. Take one with you.
Big titties. Huge.
Cunt. Yeah, I'd rather them be nice to
me. What?
What? Like what?
Now all of a sudden they're wiping you in.

(16:10):
Oh, you're clean, but they're going in with dry paper towel,
wiping rough. Just wiping it rough.
Speaking of wiping, we need to make it OK for guys to carry
around. I don't have room in my pockets
for a small thing of butt wipes.We would if we were allowed to
wear cargo shorts. I wear cargo shorts no matter
what. I know, but it's like a social

(16:32):
faux pas. I see I was wearing cargo pants
a lot, but I I just grew out of them.
I. Don't give a Yeah, I just.
That any pocket would be perfectplacement for those wipes I.
Do not care. I'm gonna wear cargoes bro.
Leave me with my purse pants. The amount of times.
I'm not shaming you, this isn't from us.
The amount of shits that I take where I have to stand up to

(16:54):
flush so I have like a dry area to wipe my ass again at work.
For the follow up. Yeah, damn it.
And I'm doing that 4-5 times. Yeah, that brown crayon is just
not letting. Go so I don't clog the toilet
and give another janitor a heartattack.

(17:15):
Is crate like I I wipe, I wipe, I wipe.
That's three different things oftoilet paper.
I stand up, I flush, I wait for it to settle because it's a
tsunami and I and I don't want to accidentally middle finger my
butt hole. So I'm trying to be safe.

(17:37):
So when I sit back down, I wipe,I wipe, I wipe.
It's a fucking marker down there.
I can't get anything to stick and it's just, and there's
people next to me who like just sat down that are already like
that are hearing me flush 8 or 9times.
Just give up and go home. Couldn't clock out.

(17:59):
Give up and go home. That's yeah, that's the only
way, because if I give up, it's itchy butt for the rest of the
day. Bring some other clothes and
wear some stuff underneath wherewhen you do go to itchy ass with
it you can take those off easy. You're not allowed to suggest
anyone wear undergarments. Yeah, I have one pair of
underwear that doesn't have a giant hole in the ass.

(18:21):
I I. Don't wear underwear, but I
exactly run into this issue. So no matter how many pairs of
underwear I wear, I'm still going to be jeaning my crack.
You could always just go over tothe sink, pull your pants down,
put your ass up into the sink, and just.

(18:42):
I've had a guy. Like, what is anyone going to as
they're walking out of the stalls, going by you, What are
they going to say? Oh.
Horatio told me to get like likehalf give up, pull your pants
up, go to the sink, get some paper towel, get it wet, go back
into the stall and then continuewith that.
I'm like, motherfucker, if I do that I'm just going to kill

(19:04):
myself. That's so bad.
The the risk of transferring to your clothes.
That's too great. Exactly.
I'm. Not chancing that.
Shit, oh you're going to get wedgied in that time.
We don't know 100. Percent.
What someone just the wedgie wizard just going to hop out and
be like ha ha. No, no, no.

(19:24):
It's more realistic, Like someone's going to come in in a
rush and you're going to like kind of get start, You're going
to step back to kind of give them room because the way our
bathrooms are set up at the con car factory, you like have
barely any room at the entrance for some reason.
Yeah. And then so they're going to
squeeze by you in a panic and you're going to step back and
then it's going. To Nah.
Not on my own. Not on my own clothes it

(19:47):
wouldn't. So are you going to drop trow
and just deposit out? Them.
Dude, I don't care. This is a bathroom bro.
Expect everything dude. Expect the unexpected.
OK, so since it is called a bathroom, we should be allowed
to stick our assholes in the sink.
Over the sink, Yes. Who's going to say otherwise?
And then? There is a word in Building 5
that is like that, that has likeone of those gooseneck sinks.

(20:11):
Yeah. Perfect.
Very. Perfect.
It's pretty sick. It sucks to wash your hands in
because the the faucet is like way higher than the the bowl of
the sink. So you get someone that's.
Made for ass. Yeah, it's made to like,
waterfall down your cracks because like, washing your hands
in it, it just gets all over you.

(20:32):
Exactly. It's made for ass.
But Speaking of bathrooms, common boys were talking.
Apparently Canada has gender neutral bathrooms and I never
recognized how awful that is to be shitting.
And then a lady walks in and shit's next to you.
No, you're just magic louder than yours.

(20:54):
With the mean growler, no, I'm not worried.
About no, they smell worse than I've used to be.
AI used to be a janitor. Not only that, women's bathrooms
are the worst. Women are way dirtier than men.
Yeah, women will wipe shit on fucking walls.
Brother, I cleaned up after Indians.
I've seen it. All.
Did someone eat their luncheon here?

(21:16):
Please tell me that's Curry. No, because they like, squat
over the toilet. They don't sit.
Yeah. So if they miss, they miss.
They hit the back handle. They hit the whole bowl, they
hit the rim, the seat, the fucking flusher, all of it,
because all they eat is fucking cayenne pepper and turmeric

(21:40):
guts. Cuban turmeric.
Stuff like that. Turmeric.
Saffron. All of the delicious spices.
No, that's everybody though. All the women are nasty.
Then they I swear to God they wipe with their fingers because
every. Time.
There's just. Finger marks on the wall like
they're checking. Oh, they're still shit, but then

(22:01):
they grab some more toilet paper.
What are you fucking doing? Well, and then you got the
hygiene product bag, which there's nothing hygienic about
that shit. When you walk into a woman's
bathroom, it smells like pure rust.
That's just iron, baby. It's.
Disgusting. It makes me want to it's it's

(22:22):
like somebody went into an elementary school and shot all
the kids. See, that's what it smells like.
It smells like gunpowder and child blood.
Did you have your phone case when you were working on the
Children's Hospital? Your current style phone case.
I don't think so. Yeah, I did for a little bit.

(22:43):
Could you imagine going in to clean up the feminine hygiene
thing? Your phone's in your pocket.
You turn the fucking contents clean to your fucking thigh.
Just fly to your thigh. The magnet.
Yeah, they're. Fucking.
Reeks, it reeks. And you know what's great?
So you have like these containers, they're like little

(23:03):
trash cans with the lid. And you have these little wax
paper bags that like you have one open and you have like 6 or
7 like inches of like a stack behind it.
And sometimes they go through them really fast because they
all sync up when they're all working together.
So then they go through all the bags and then they just start
stuffing their fucking blood napkins in the bin and I got to

(23:28):
fish it out. Oh, you're not allowed to?
Oh, it's biohazard waste, right?Yeah.
Oh, gross. Fucking gross.
I have to fish it all out. Catch the whole place on fire.
Could you imagine someone like hit a used needle in there?
I would kill myself. There was a guy in main in
maintenance there that had to get tested every year because he

(23:49):
got pricked with a needle. How many years do you have to do
that? Forever.
There's no fucking. Way I think you.
Think it's like. It might be policy there, but I
don't know how. I don't know if like hepatitis
can just like show up you have gonorrhea.
Like later, but I know HIV is that's a concern.

(24:12):
But yeah, he had to get tested every year.
I don't. I honestly don't know for how
long but sucks fucking ass. He was still getting tested when
he retired. You know what's?
Fucking crazy though, like you've gotten a shot and like
you just didn't feel the shot. Like it just was that quick.
It was super painless. You didn't even you like saw
them opening a Band-Aid and you're like, why are you doing?

(24:33):
Oh, they already finished. I watch.
How many times does that probably happen to people where
they got pricked? They didn't even fucking know
this is story. And then like their this their
spouse like beats the shit out of them because they caught HIV
or something. They assume they cheated.
Yeah, there was this cop I got called to a house and his naked

(24:56):
meth head was shooting blow darts at people.
Oh my God, he was. Pricking himself and then trying
to hit people with his blood needles because he had AIDS.
That's so fucked up, I would beat the brakes off of that.
Guy, hey, let's be there. He tased him pretty good.

(25:18):
Good. We needed a I wouldn't turn the.
Population somehow. Thin the herd, boy.
Yeah, we needed. To lessen the population.
I'm tired of backed up 5:00. Traffic at the rate we're.
Going to make all their wrists skinny.
It's going to. Be terrible.
So we so we've established that the bathroom is for bathing

(25:39):
because it's in the name, so it should be.
Allowed to, You know, in Germanythey don't call it the bathroom,
they call it the water closet. Yeah, I.
Guess it has water in. It is that where the term in the
closet comes from, because like at discotheques, where they'd go
in there to hide that they were gay, they would enjoy each
other's bodies. In the bathrooms.

(26:01):
No, he's still in the closet. The Vata closet.
The Vata closet. Is that R Kelly song about him
being gay but not wanting to tell anybody?
I. Think that was on South Park?
Wasn't. No, that was.
It was. Yeah, it was R Kelly and Tom
Hanks, not Tom Hanks. Oh God damn it.

(26:24):
Fuck. What's his name?
Tom Cruise. Tom Cruise?
Yeah. No, I think you're thinking
about Kanye. Kanye was in there too, but I
could've sworn. I don't think it was R Kelly.
I could've. Sworn.
R Kelly was the one that did. 90minute trapped in a closet song
with the Midget in it. Yeah.
Yeah, it could be. With the Midget.
No, the Midget was in like underthe sink or something.

(26:46):
That's not a closet. Well, he R Kelly's in the
closet. The Midget was under the sink, I
believe. Yeah, I.
Don't know, it sounds like R Kelly's just doing kids in his
closet. I mean, yeah.
But you, well, that's different.We knew that.
We just sorry, R Kelly is in thecloset.
A child is also in the closet, but there is a Midget under the

(27:06):
same. OK cool, good.
I just needed some clarification'cause I already know he's not R
Kelly's willing to piss on anybody and anywhere.
It's true, but. What?
Did you want this in a closet? Did you get your shots?
Dude, he there was a drinking game that I made that's back

(27:30):
when I found out you could just like make drinking games out of
things like fucking Family Guy drinking game.
Every time Peter doesn't play a New Girl.
I'm not familiar with it, but I believe that that's a thing.
You never watched New Girl. You wouldn't watch New Girl?
Dude. Yeah.
There's a It's a show my wife watches.
Don't you? Mean y'all watch.

(27:51):
It's you mean you're watching it?
It's one of the funniest shows on the planet you're watching.
Thank you. She.
Wasn't. Just watching but my wife has
been obsessed with it ever sinceI showed it to her and ever
since. You showed it to.
Her. Yeah.
My girlfriend in high school showed it to me.
I showed it to my wife. Did you tell her that?
Yeah. And.
You want to talk about your ex-girlfriend?

(28:11):
She watches it. No, I Why wouldn't I talk about
the coolest dad I've ever met other than my own?
Your ex girlfriend's your coolest dad.
My ex girlfriend's dad was awesome.
Her daddy. OK, I was about to say.
I'm like, hold on a minute. And he yeah, so.

(28:32):
But they have this game and that's nonsense and it's a
drinking game and it's really funny.
Yeah. And my wife watches the show
once a year, the entire like 6 seasons.
She. Watches all six seasons once a
year. Once it may be once every other
year. But it's on rotation.
Yeah, right. She'll go back to her new shows,

(28:53):
then she'll cycle back. Yeah, she watches.
Right now she's watching Blue Mountain State.
Nice. So I started.
So good. The goat house.
We started watching, so we watched the whole thing a few
years ago and then we wanted to like sit down and just watch
something the other day. And so we're like, well, this is
we own all this on Amazon so let's just watch this again.

(29:16):
And so we watched like the firstlike 5 episodes that night and
then I'm on, I was on Amazon later in the week watching the
Terminal List and I see she's watching Blue.
So she had said you want to makethis like a yearly thing where
we watch this whole thing. I was like, yeah, that's fine.
So it becomes our show at that. Point Yeah.
And then she just kept watching it.

(29:37):
It's fucked man. So it's just her show and you
just someone who joined in everyso often.
Yeah, you'll. You'll you'll check in.
They're making another season, Iheard.
I heard they're making another season.
I dude. You know, all excited, he's
getting that. Little, You know, what's crazy
is it's that little God, what's his name in the show?

(29:59):
The little nerdy kid that's like, it's like Sammy, I think.
Or the mascot. Yeah, the mascot.
Technically the mascot. Dude is the one who wrote all.
That oh really? Yeah, that makes.
Sense that little nerdy guy wrote all that and brought in
people. My favorite episode is when he
gets kidnapped with the goat. Oh.
Yeah, it's. Like gonna save you?

(30:22):
Like fucking Moe's from the office.
Yeah. He used the actual like
showrunner for the thing. One of my favorite episodes
still see is still whenever theyhad to run with the Oreo in
their butt cheeks. That's the first episode.
Yeah, I mean. Of course.
I mean, come on. And then Dad eats.
It dad eats it anyway and he won.

(30:43):
Yeah, he didn't even have to eatit, bro.
He just ate it. And I was like, that's just the
the greatest way to start this. He's about that champion
lifestyle. Yeah.
And that's like, what kind of condom are you going to put on
my quarterback? Show me the condom.
Give me the. Condom.
That's my pocket pussy. Fucking pours beer in it and it

(31:05):
just leaks liquid and he's like,yes, get out, get out of my.
House get out. Yeah.
So it's better. All it does is get better.
I I do need to watch that, but back to the R Kelly drinking
game I made. There are like fucking 12

(31:26):
episodes or something ridiculousto the trap in the closet song
and I think they're still on YouTube.
So it's a long thing. Like this is an evening affair.
So me. My that's usually when most
affairs happen. Some of them happen in the
morning. That's the affairs I have with
myself though. This is the solo affair.

(31:49):
I just get disappointed in the morning.
So it was me, my roommate, a mutual friend we had and then my
ex-girlfriend at the time. Well my girlfriend at the time,
my current ex. So we.
My ex-girlfriend at the time, she's no longer ex.
Hold on. The.

(32:10):
The game The premise of the gamewas every single time R Kelly
rhymes a word with the exact same word, you take a drink.
That's not even fair. That's I was.
I was. Drinking in Old English, which
was like a gross 40. 40 What do you mean it's so easy?
Just no. Old English was the good one.
I take that back. There was one called Side Pocket

(32:31):
that I'd also gotten because I hadn't tried it before so.
Old English as a malt liquor wasactually oh.
Right, I got to episode 6 and like cracked open the side
pocket so I'd cleared two 40s Because every single time he
wraps or rhymes one word with the exact same fucking word.
Is it a game? Fucking drink if.
You like? I think that's just a new music.

(32:53):
No I did listen to the whole thing.
I just saw like the first part and it was like ha, that was
dumb. He rhymes that word.
That's the same word. He's.
Done. He's bad at music even though
that's his job. And so I was like, OK, it can't
be that bad. Possibly.
Dude was running out of ideas bythe time he hit episode 4 'cause
he kept start. He was just rhyming the same

(33:13):
word over and over again. I like cracked that side pocket.
It tasted so fucking gross and sweet like MD 2020.
No 'cause that has like fruit flavors.
At least not. Good ones.
No, no one said. That the Grape Mad Dog, 2020.
Was I guess I've only tried the red one, the.
Red 1. Grape the best the.
Grape. That's why I got it.

(33:34):
Yeah, but the grape is good. I drink the grape.
How about you drink the Peach one?
I drink. The cake I can't drink.
No fucking Peach. You don't like Peach?
I'll drink it, but I'll throw the fuck up.
Then what now? I restarted while you guys are
in that deep and I'm gonna be upway longer than you guys.
That's all that means. OK, you don't like Peach?

(33:56):
I don't like artificial Peach. He can't stand.
It it will make me throw up immediately.
I can eat a Peach, I can drink real Peach juice and stuff.
If it came from a real Peach, I can do it.
He would rather ladle sewage outof a drainage ditch and drink
that than drink artificial. Peach, I'll drink it if you want
me to throw up. No, I'd rather you didn't throw
up. But I'm like I you're.

(34:17):
In a very confined space, No, I'll throw.
It we will get splashed I. Have no problem throwing up.
I'll throw up because I just continue anyway.
So I throw up and I go. Well, now my stomach's empty.
So now it's time to no, we got go ahead and keep drinking.
Primo deer meat in there right now.
We need to let that process and turd up.
At least turd. Up Did you see that sandwich?

(34:40):
I did see that, but you need to show Russell the sandwich.
It was fucking delicious. Deer back strap Dude I made this
sandwich the other day so. Fucking good.
It looked so good. Anyhow, I made it through
episode 7 I think out of the 12 and I was just vomiting.
I filled up that apartment sink.What are you doing puking in the

(35:03):
sink? I couldn't make it there.
Oh. Fuck yeah.
Delicious fucking salmon. That looks great.
It does. I grilled deer back strap.
I did tenderloin the night before and it was fantastic.
So I was like fuck it, we're doing the back strap today.
You got to talk. You point that mic like right in
your mouth. It was fucking delicious.
Here we go. We're going to need to give him

(35:25):
a stand. 100% or we get him one of those belts that has an arm
that like comes off and Dave's another state.
Bro I get distracted all. Right.
We got to get him. I think it's about.
Mic discipline, man. Sure makes a good lav mic.
We. Just need a cattleman.
A cattleman. Is that the one they use for

(35:46):
like auctions? I don't I I guess that might be
why it's called that. What is the other word for it?
The one that goes like from to your like around your cheek.
I always called it the Britney Spears mic.
I don't it's a Britney Spears mic I don't want.
That my grandpa always called itcattlemen and that's what he
used when he was preaching so. Yeah, I mean, I could.

(36:06):
That definitely makes more sense.
It's that's less embarrassing tosay out loud than fucking
Britney Spears mic. Yeah.
I got, I got, I got a microphone, dude.
I have my own. I feel so bad for Britney Spears
because she has my hairline right now.

(36:26):
She's got a better body than I do though.
Pretty rough. It's.
She looks like a toddler. She was like the body of a
toddler, like. Right at the Rick days.
Disgusting toddler before. All the time.
All of them are disgusting. Pretty much every single toddler
you can run into. Has toddlers are adorable.
They don't look like naked witches.
Snot is running down their fucking noses.

(36:49):
If you were to see. Fucking screaming and no, I
don't want nothing. From the rib cage down, she's
began. They'll pick she.
Began looking like a toddler. Pick shit.
That's true. Their hands are mysteriously
wet. All the time.
And it's. No, it's not.
Wet. My brother is 25 years old and
his hands are still that way. That's not a fucking clue.

(37:12):
I don't know what is. Brother, why the fuck are you
wet right now? Were you doing dishes?
Where the? Fuck were you?
I'm trying to do this on the work computer without looking up
Britney Spears bikini so. Fuck you, use my phone.
It was this well, I wanted to put it on the big screen for
everybody to see. Here's it.

(37:34):
Here's No, that's not recent. But that was a close that was a
decent indicator. See, that's that was too.
That wasn't recent enough. To be affair Britney Spears has
been scary for a while. Now, yeah.
I didn't like recognize it untilI was an adult because I thought
she was cute. When I was kid, she was scary.

(37:55):
I never really had a thing for her when I was like a kid.
Because she's fucking scary. You know who I had a thing for?
Lindsay Lohan? Hilary Duff.
Hilary. Duff.
Fucking Hillary Duff. Dude.
The mom. We talk about her all the time.
She should be our new fucking logo.

(38:16):
I would. Miss her dump truck.
Hillary dumps so. That is something that and she
stays off the fucking radar. You don't see stuff.
I'm like that's. Because she's a good
conservative woman. Even Haley knows, all right.
She's. Hillary does gonna get it.
Even Haley knows that Hillary does my main Like I'm like, and

(38:40):
she's like, I get it, it's understandable, but that's it.
She yeah, no, she she do more than find it.
Drinking Bros has a podcast, Drinking Bros Podcast.
They have a painting behind one of them and it is who's the
famous soccer player woman from when we were younger, not the
new lesbians. I like the new lesbians.

(39:04):
Anyway, it's a painting of her asshole and vagina.
Was like a leaked nude or something.
Yeah, but it's like it's, it's into a.
Painting. It's it's a filter that it's
like, what's the word? Not aesthetic.
It changes the style Abstract. Yeah.

(39:25):
So you can't unless you like told that it's that because it's
a rough vagina. So it doesn't.
It's beat up it in no way it looks like a vagina until you go
holy shit that's a disgusting vagina.
She found that black tab on Pornhub.
Google it. I tried to I it's in their
stuff. I'll have to find a A.

(39:45):
I'll find it later and show you guys.
I'll spend the rest of this timeGoogling.
You know. It it, it'll, it's in the
background of all their stuff. Well, actually they changed it
out recently. They have a framed picture or
jersey of the football player Ryan Kaniga.
And that's how it's spelled and pronounced.

(40:08):
Don't hit me. So where do we get the other
painting? I think they still have it, it's
just not in the background anymore.
You like, you think it's for sale?
Dino, is that what you're? Getting but it.
Used to be. It used to be.
Everything's for sale. It used to be like their waiting
screen because they live stream all their stuff or most of their
stuff. So like right before they go
live, when they put their video live before they like turn the

(40:31):
cameras on. It used to be their waiting room
screen. It's just the picture on
YouTube. Well, that qualifies like
revenge. Porn like I want the paintings
so bad. So.
You put the. Skirting the edge.
You put the painting in your room and people go, oh, this is
cool. I'm like, you have no idea.
Yeah. This really inspires the feeling

(40:51):
of rage. With yeah, it's happened a
couple times. That's a vagina and that's.
A weird picture. What is that?
And he goes, oh, that's Hope Solo's asshole.
Hope Solo, that's her name. She also beat up her husband so.
And he returned the favorite. He beat the pussy open.
She beats her husband and I beatmy Dick to a painting right?

(41:11):
Art. So the the term restroom also
doesn't make sense. Like we should call our break
rooms the restroom because that's where you're resting.
So what are you going to call it?
A piss room. No, we said it was a a bathroom.

(41:32):
Remember, it's not a bathroom. It doesn't have a.
Bathroom. It doesn't have a bath in it,
that's why they call it a restroom.
You know, that's a good question.
I mean. Yeah, we do need to find this
out. There it's a bathroom is where
you bathe. If it does not have a tub and or
a shower then it is a which would be a restroom 'cause I

(41:53):
guess you get to sit down while you're taking a shit.
But what if you're a man who hasto piss?
You're not resting. You still have to stand up.
Apparently some people stand while shitting too, according to
Russell's. No, I don't stand while I'm
shitting, No. I don't say some.
People do. If anything I'm just going to
sit and piss. Here it is.

(42:16):
There we go. Oh.
Don't move the. Hand.
Oh, you can see it. I can see that.
That's obvious. So that's her face.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, peeking from. Behind look.
At that thing. That is, I can see it.
I'm going to see it. It was.
Not the B hole. Slightly used.

(42:38):
What do you mean slightly? That's.
Slightly. Used.
That's one of the fucking used cars from Matilda.
It's just slightly. The fucking fenders fall.
Out a little bit of backfire. That is beat up.
Hey, when we get video going, I want a John Rocker jersey behind
me. He's the racist baseball player.
Oh, we have a guest. We're pausing.

(43:05):
Give me a little Diddy. He smelled of his own brand.
Smells like corn. Deer corn boom.
Daft. Oh man, I am Cornholio.

(43:29):
Dude, he seems like someone I would beat up if I went to
school with him. No, no, no, no, no.
Jonathan Davis, bassist. Yeah, No, he's the guitar
player, Sir. Head is the guitar player.
Fieldy is the bass guitarist. I've seen Brian Head playing
bass guitar with Mike Huckabee, the American ambassador to

(43:52):
Israel. I'm pretty sure he's a he's a
bass guitarist. No, Mike Huckabee is the bass
guitarist. They both are.
What do you mean? I watched the video.
OK then they're both regular guitarist.
No, they're both playing bass bruh.
Russell. I've watched a video with
Exhibit Little Wayne and others playing many different

(44:14):
instruments on Twisted Sister. Twisted Transistor.
Sorry. Yeah, Jonathan Davis.
Twisted transistor and it was a bunch of different people that
never. Played Ryan had Welch as a
guitarist. What was going on there?
Just because you've seen it doesn't mean it happened.

(44:34):
Are you going to blame this on fucking AIHUCABE?
Oh, there is AK in it. So I'm from a different
universe. I told you so.
Where's that? It's a video of Brian Head
playing guitar while Mike Huckabee plays bass.

(44:57):
Shut the fuck up. What now?
You get defensive. Were you right or not?
We'll just. Leave it up to a mystery.
I was just like, I was curious. It's funny because if you had
dreads you'd look identical to that guy.
Like, okay, Jonathan Davis, likewhat did he look like when he

(45:20):
was in high school? I don't know what he looks like
now. Probably like he's just.
Dreads and fucking eyebrow piercings.
That's head. That's that's their uniform.
Oh, they're all. How is that a uniform?
Bro Juggalos, yeah. So they don't paint their faces.
They don't have to wear a baggy or clothes and I'm pretty sure

(45:42):
they're all fucking wearing skinny jeans and stuff.
No, I think they wear trips. Aw.
He's gay. Yeah, of course he's gay.
He's been gay. I thought he had kids.
They're gay too. Right, there's a full band photo
for the rope. There you go.
Yeah. Aw.
This poor guy looks ridiculous. Yeah, yeah, he's their bassist.

(46:06):
And then you have like some regular dude.
I was like. You should be more worried about
that guy. Yeah, what's this clean about
dude fucking doing? How did he earn their respect?
What does he do? Dude on the far left clearly a
part of corn. Dude on the far right?
Pure, completely a part of corn.Dude right next to him.
How many did you have on your way here?

(46:29):
Do you have some roadies up here, Dino?
Just the one. 9.5 ABV fucking tall boy.
It was a glass of rum. No, that's no.
You've seen the second one. My, my wife likes to bring this
up. It was one podcast where after
you and fucking Eric left, this is back at the apartment.

(46:53):
I was just in the bathroom just blowing it up with my mouth.
Fuck. Vomiting.
Yeah. And I was blacked out, so I
don't remember this, but my wifegoes.
And you just kept going. I just had one drink.
And what I had was that giant glass that the gnome gave me.

(47:15):
The giant mug. Yeah, full of rum.
Fuck. Dude and I called it one drink.
That is just one drink. It was one glass.
Were you pre gaming before our recording sessions?
Back in the day, I was drunk from the minute I went home or
the minute I got home before I got home, because I would drink

(47:36):
on my walk from across the street at the liquor store to my
apartment, right? And so I was, yeah, I was drunk.
In perpetuity. Yeah, OK, that makes so much
more sense 'cause when we were setting up like the old plastic
folding table and I would bring like the new brews to review, we
would crack him and we'd be somewhat on pace with each

(47:57):
other. And I would, like, haze you a
little bit because you were being slow, but it's because you
were about to die. And I would watch you get like
visibly drunker. And I was like, holy, why is
this hitting him so? Far.
I don't know what episode it was, but there's literally an
episode where you and Eric just carried on the rest of the
episode while I slept on the floor with my mic on my chest.
Yeah, you were dying. It was awesome.

(48:21):
Why did I stop doing that? That's pretty fucking cool.
Yeah, it was great. And you're trying to judge me,
all right. No, we're just asking questions.
Yeah. How many have you had?
Just just like one or two. No, I would pregame.
It's like one or two bro. I would pre like when we started

(48:42):
recording at your house, I wouldpregame in your driveway before
I got in. So that was when I tried Mad Dog
for the first time is I drank half of a fucking Mad Dog.
That's crazy. That's a young man's.
Dream. Damn, dude, I I did that in high
school. Yeah, you.
Don't. It was just like I didn't have
anything at the time and. Like it was cheap.
Cheap as fuck, like I was hard up cheap and I needed a lot and

(49:06):
I needed higher ABV than just because I wanted to get drunk
really fast before I went into your house.
It was big so and the only thingI could get to at the time I
couldn't. Liquor stores were out of the
question now because because I this was, I was not drinking
anymore like this was when I washiding it.
Got it on your card, had to say 711.
Yeah, so I stopped at 7-11 and that's like after I like wasn't

(49:31):
hiding it or after I had startedhiding it.
I was it was only gas stations. So it was buzz balls pre games,
bootleggers and and then when I had more time it'd just be a lot
of beers or a lot of malts. Blue buzz balls are fucking
fantastic. I like so I like blue.

(49:52):
Ones are fucking good. I liked the coffee ones because
they went down the fastest. Yeah, man, I could see one.
There's a light blue one. It's like a Berry bury
something. I don't know what the hell it
is, but it go dude, so fast. Yeah.
Like it's so easy drinking that even if you were to happen to
drink it slow, you're like just enjoy it the whole time.
Fuck yeah, I would feel I would.And I'd chug.

(50:15):
I was getting McDonald's every morning specifically, so I'd get
a large drink, a large Coke, andeven if I wasn't done with it by
the end of the day, I'd pour thewhole thing out and fill it up
with buzz balls. Fuck yeah.
Oh yeah, And then they had drinking in my driveway.
Did they come out with a big buzz?
Ball calls after you. Yeah, I didn't see him until
afterwards. That you quit.

(50:35):
I still haven't gone. That probably saved your life.
I've thought about it, I probably wouldn't.
Get one because I can't hide those.
True. Could you imagine trying to
explain that? Like a small buzz ball is a lot
easier to tuck into a Walmart bag and throw it in the back of
the car. Literally how I did that.
Yeah, I just found. The virtual.
Girl. Impossible.
Yeah. You playing basketball now?

(50:55):
Why is it in Walmart? What the fuck, Russ?
Just driving down the highway, double.
Handed giant buzz ball drinking a goddamn potion.
You just. You're.
Walking by a fortnight elixir. When you walk by his car there's
just like 6 empty ones in the bedroom like hold.

(51:16):
On get a bowling ball bag just to hide your drinking.
I would drive around with empties all the time because I
was drinking in my car, like in the driveway.
I think you're. But the little buzz balls don't
come out like the. Big, that's true.
I think your nesting syndrome came as a mechanism, like a
defense mechanism to prevent cops from even.
I was. Well, I was nesting prior to

(51:36):
that, but I did definitely take advantage of the the nesting
syndrome a lot specifically likeI was like, if I clean this up,
I can't hide the stuff. So then it would got worse.
That's. True.
There were some days where like I would just show up with bags
and you're like, not today, man.And like there is a sincerity in
how you said it was like not really, just not today.

(51:58):
And like, I just took that and Iwas like, OK, this isn't the
right day for this. Then there are other things.
What? I would show up with Walmart
bags to clear out your car. Before, Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
It was 'cause I was hiding stuffin there.
Yeah. Because at that point you knew I
wasn't supposed to be drinking medically.
Yeah. Because there was like, I
started hiding it when my doctorwas like, hey, your liver is

(52:19):
about to come out. Not again, yeah.
Well get 2 fingers in there and put it back.
It comes out of your ass, right?I haven't felt it in there doc.
No, that's a prolapse. You need to put it back.
For me, hey it's do no harm not repair the self-inflicted.

(52:47):
This wasn't the oath I signed upfor.
How? Was that like you?
Like you were supposed to make things better?
All right, This make things better.
Just do it. Make me feel good, doc.
Come on now, just put. Two things in.
There, could you imagine being aproctologist that was a double
amputee? Your toes.
No, you're. No, Russell.
You're just fucking numbing them.

(53:09):
No numbing them the whole time. You call in your orderly and
have her unzip you. It's like when you're going to
have to check your prostate, so.I.
Have no what the fuck that's. Your worst dental damage was a
big hand. Get to work.
There you go. Yeah, yeah, doctors used to

(53:29):
drink piss from their patients to tell.
Their you know that we used to give our pregnancy tests were
you would send your piss to a lab and they would take it and
inject it into a frog. No, I didn't know about that.
I thought I knew about that. They did inject it into a frog
to find out if you were fucking pregnant.
It was facts. What happened to the frog?

(53:51):
You're because if you're pregnant, you have growth
hormone in your pets and so whenyou inject it into a frog it
makes them lay eggs. Yeah.
Oh I thought they were going to get buff or something.
I was going to steal my wife's piss when she gets knocked up
and injected in my fucking. Quads, if you pregnant piss had
a myostatin inhibitor in it I would be drinking it.

(54:12):
This is fucking frogs. Putting it in a human. 100%
babe, my gains are down just. Fill me up and piss and booping
it. Fucking.
Just fucking piss in my butt. It'd be fucking bad ass.
Oh man. It's so awful.

(54:33):
It's no. Yeah.
Where did you learn that? There's this chick that comes up
on like my reels or my shorts. It's usually my YouTube shorts.
YouTube, like your shorts. I think she's like a Twitch
streamer, but she owns like thiswildlife sanctuary and she'll
like have influencers come and do like things with her animals

(54:55):
like what where she'll like do well, she she holds like
seminars where she teaches. I've only seen clips.
So like she has like a. Helps you find a zebra's
clitoris. Yeah, so she like, but the one I
was doing was she was holding a frog.
And she goes, did you do you know what?
Do you know what frogs and pregnancy tests have to do with
each other? And he's like, no.
And she explained it to him. I was like, that's cool.

(55:16):
That is. Funny.
Yeah, I read it because I like her.
I can't read. I have a problem with that.
We get it, You know you're smart.
I'm not. Dislike.
Shut up, you. Just sound disabled.
That's because. I drink.
That's because he downed 2 fucking tall boys that he got.
It out I I love it to drink. That's my problem right now.

(55:37):
You have a 40 ABV like blood brain.
Barrier. It's a solution I.
Retain the knowledge for. When it matters.
You fucking fart blood and it's flammable.
That would be crazy. Fucking mosquito goes to bite

(56:00):
you and flies away drunk. And you know what?
Like since I, you know, I, I drink, I used to drink more than
this, you know? Oh I know so now this is Dino
dial back so. Now like I don't drink as much
and the mosquitoes have been fucking hounded in me and I hate
it. Are you sure it's just like you

(56:21):
can feel it? Now, yeah, now you're aware of
them. I should've just kept.
No they never fuck. I was never itchy, period.
You know when you do steroids? Fucking numb.
Did you know when you do steroids, your sweat smells
different? Yeah.
Yeah, you smell like steroids. Yeah.
Really. Apparently.
It's because it it causes the same stuff that it God damn it,

(56:46):
it causes. Do you ever have a dream where
you. I can't remember the fucking
word. This is a very unforgiving
format for not having your wordslined out.

(57:06):
Yeah, God. Damn.
It this is rough I. Supposed to know we were going
to be talking about this. We're in a podcast.
We talked about everything and nothing at the same time.
More than enough for me to not know what the fuck's going on.
No, I did not the word. I can't think of the word, but
yes, yeah, no steroids does 'cause that to happen and it.
Also, you got to point the mic into your chin.

(57:28):
What is it? Aimed the androgynous.
There you go. Perfect N anhydrogenous effects
or something, I don't know man. There's probably androgynous,
yeah. And then?
Even Russell said it weird on purpose just to fuck with you.
Androgenous. Yeah.
I mean technically yes, but. Either way, yeah.

(57:49):
We're all assholes, anabolic. Anabolic and in drugs it's
anabolic. Yeah, but there's an.
Androgens. Whatever, but either way, yeah,
that makes you smell different. I did not know that.
It makes you, it makes it more like you're on, like you're just
going through puberty. I do know my shits were amazing.

(58:09):
When you're doing tests. Yeah, I'm on the team.
My my deuces were fucking perfect.
I don't know. I don't want to get back on the
tee. I.
Don't know about that. Do it.
It's so expensive. I keep hearing about this.
You don't might know a guy. About bathtub testosterone.

(58:32):
Shut up, Dino, we're being recorded.
They don't know who I am. You've covered.
You've blown your cover like 80 times since when?
OK, not me. That's fair.
I go. This is my name.
Apparently you could I go, I don't.
Give a shit, who knows. Yes, you can.
Yeah, you can. I just for some reason I just

(58:54):
assumed that the stuff that I was injecting came from a guy
like stabbed. Him and I never thought that it
like. It did, in fact, come from a
guy. I never once thought like it was
synthesized for some reason, butif it's I mean it's a chemical
compound so I guess it is almostalways, but I think I'd rather
have natural. So you're trying to take it from

(59:15):
someone? Yeah, I want it straight from
the fucking. Sack right?
Fuck this give. Me, I want a buff doctor to
outject and then inject. You want him to inject inside
of. You wait.
Is the episode of eject inject. It's eject.
Eject. Yeah, you want him to eject
while you. I thought it was going to eject.

(59:37):
I'm going to eject. And like he's going to keep.
Talking about these buffs, he's.Going to eject into you what you
want and you're just going to inject it from.
There, I'm going to ingest it. Same difference I guess.
So ingesting implies the a senseof out jesting, right?
Is that pooping? Vomit.

(59:58):
No, Yeah, no, I'll just. Yeah.
Vomit. Yeah, I do that because.
Digesting is when you turn it into poop.
True. That's right.
That is true. Yeah, that's.
Right, that's right. But digestion starts in your
mouth. It sure does.
So. Amylase.
Reader's Digest is such a pretentious name that.

(01:00:19):
Has chicken suit of the soul is a pretentious name.
How so? That seems endearing.
It seems gay. I like chicken soup.
You know what? You're right, Russ.
But do you want it all over yoursoul?
I want it in my belly. Bro I barely feel my soul like

(01:00:41):
you can't tell me you know whereyours is.
That's true. I.
Bet your gym coat felt your gym coat.
I bet your gym coach felt your hole.
I was taller. I was.
Taller than my gym coach. So what does that do?
You were the perfect height. I was taller than one of my gym
coaches, but I knew I wasn't a target because he already
married a student. My gym coach was a black dude

(01:01:05):
who liked white women and then. He saw your hair and he's like
close enough. And then the next gym coach was
a white dude who was, guess what?
Into white women. Married to a black woman.
Do you think their wife swapped or something?
And they're like, actually this is kind of.
Better. I don't know bro.
One of them was like, I'm going to be smart about this guy with
a white woman. The other one's like, I like
dumb shit. Guy with the black.

(01:01:26):
I'm sorry, she says. Christy, I'm.
Sorry, that was. Two on the nose.
My gym coach in 6th grade was a lady and she was a lesbian and
she got fired for being weird inthe locker room with the girls.
And then my next gym coach was aguy who was still working there
and it was well known he had a wife and a kid, and the wife was

(01:01:46):
a student who had graduated and they got married that next year.
Did you go to? It's like.
God damn it, Janice, the way youhit that volleyball, you.
Still something crap. Was that Western Heights?
It was in Wisconsin. I almost.
I would have guessed it being Western Heights so.
Cool. There's no way that's the only

(01:02:07):
time that's ever happened. No, no.
Western Heights got real. Weird fucking hot high school
girls. I know technically legal.
That's crazy that you just let aguy make girls run around and
like he's always, he's in the boys locker room, but you know,
he was in there going they're like right next door and they're

(01:02:27):
all naked. Because when I was in the locker
room, that's what I was thinking.
You think he's going to? Be like you were a student.
Yeah, You think he's going to have like a creepy wall safe
that's in his office now when you open it up, there's like
enough of the material shade away in the drywall that you can
kind of see in there. OK, now but.
He's like two more years. You're right, Rick off.

(01:02:50):
Come on, Rachel. Completely off subject.
This is completely off subject. Like I want you know, I want to
start something else. But I'll let you blow my
whistle. Completely off subject, how how
do you become a gym coach? What are the requirements?

(01:03:10):
What credentials do you? How do you do?
They'll probably put a lie detector thing on your Wiener
and show you pictures of kids. This is really off topic.
It's off talk. It was nothing to do with what
we. Were talking about did you know
that to beat to be a teacher in K through 12 all you need well K

(01:03:36):
through 6 or K through 8 is like1° and then nine through 12 is a
different degree. But it's not like for high
school to be a math teacher, youdon't need a math teacher
degree. No, I'm just trying to.
Need an educational degree so I don't know because I'm pretty
sure that all of my gym teachershad like.
History. Health and fitness degrees OK,

(01:03:58):
along with their education. Like there was a whole set for
something like they're, I'm pretty sure it was a physical
education degree, but like everybody else had just like a
teaching degree other than my history teacher had a doctorate
in U.S. history. He's pretty fucking bomb.
Some history teachers are dull as shit.

(01:04:19):
The history teachers in. Oklahoma are just my coaches.
My history teacher was my wrestling coach.
Yeah, most history teachers in Oklahoma.
My art teacher One of my art teacher was also my.
That's like coach. One of mine.
OK, I guess history and government are two different
classes, but they're closely. Not related, it's just social
sciences is kind of how I group them all together.

(01:04:40):
Yeah, one of. Because they can't just pay for
a coach, bro. They need something else.
You got to do something else. Do history or government?
Do social sciences or history or.
We. They do.
We had like 1 government teacherwho was like absolutely fucking
bad ass and he was incredible. And I like would pop in

(01:05:01):
occasionally and just chat him up and like you could tell he
like started to forget who I wasand I was like, OK, it's no
longer appropriate for you to bein in this classroom.
I think I was like a senior and they were like in 9th grade and
it's definitely not appropriate for you to be in that fucking
room anymore. And then the other one that we
had, I think his name was Jeff Kelly or Jonathan Kelly.

(01:05:21):
We had him in the class for about half a year.
And then like one of us just noticed that his name was also
the in our text in our fucking yearbook was the same name as
one of the names in the history book that we are reading from.
Oh no. And it turns out that they

(01:05:41):
sought him out and paid him to vet and correct information in
the fucking history. Book.
Oh, I think he was. Fucking AG, he was a fucking
champion. This dude was an editor of the
textbook. Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, but they've been editing textbooks for every.
That's how they're made, yeah. I know, but they're changing.

(01:06:02):
The past is what's going. On this dude was fucking dope.
He like followed. I don't agree with his musical
choices per SE, but I agree withthe commitment he made to one of
his favorite groups. It was Paul McCartney.
He like, dumped money. Disgusting.
And then he went, like, to feed you or something like that, and

(01:06:23):
then to another place on some long, like, extravagant vacation
with his girlfriend, 'cause he refused to take a wife, which I
was like, that's pretty fucking sick.
Yeah, like. You for the longest time.
Yeah, but he was fucking 50 something.
He had like a leather jacket he'd wear every fucking day
'cause he was too cool for school.
So he taught the school, and then he smuggled in Cubans

(01:06:48):
before the embargo or sanctions or whatever were lifted.
Yeah. In his scuba gear, in his, like,
snorkel. Yeah.
Like he was just right in the line of what was appropriate.
Yeah. We work with the guy who almost
smuggled in a gold AK from Afghanistan.
No fucking way. Yeah, he got caught, but.

(01:07:10):
How was he not in prison? It's pretty LAX as long as it's
not US weapons. The.
Same reason why they don't. Get that mad?
No. The same reason why the dude you
work for is not in prison. What do you mean?
He smuggled women who Marcus what he mail ordered.

(01:07:35):
His wife. His wife?
Yeah. No, that's his brother.
He did it too. Her just I needed to tell my
wife to not listen to this episode.
Because she already is. On an answer about him in
general. Why it's fine?
We'll talk about it. Later uh oh fix.

(01:08:01):
I don't think I like the way that sound.
No, I've gone through and tried to find the things more
incriminating than what she saw,and I didn't find anything.
But yeah, it was weird. But anyway, yeah, my history
teacher, I had two in high school and like one of them, he

(01:08:23):
was man, I need to write him like a handwritten letter.
I'll dictate it, have somebody else write it, because nobody
wants to read what I write. Just apologizing and also just
like thanking him for putting upwith me.
That might let him put the rope away in the stool bag.

(01:08:45):
You don't know. Because I was the worst to him
and I liked him. Funny way of shorting.
And but I just, I treated him like, and to be clear, he did
not control the classroom very well.

(01:09:06):
So his boundaries barely existed.
So when you give that to a high school kid, they're just like,
well, I can do whatever I want. He's going to get mad, but he's
he does it back later. So it's fun, you know?
So like, it was a give and take,but I definitely always took it
way too far with him. And he was great.

(01:09:26):
And then you can give. Him a shout out.
Yeah, Mr. Tapp, everybody knows where I went to school too much.
He's from Texas. Fuck.
It is his name, Clay. I don't remember his first name
and then my other history teacher who also taught psych
was the one who had a doctorate in U.S. history and he was

(01:09:48):
fucking great. You had a psychology class?
In high school, yeah, it was my favorite class, the only class
that I like. How would straight A's in?
How would you not like, take theopportunity to like first or
second day of class? You have to shake his hands and
you pull it away and sweep your hair back.
It's a psych. Well, that's the gayest thing
you've ever said, but. Why are you the authority on

(01:10:11):
this? Now.
Russell. Why the authority made the
authority on being gay at this point?
It's because he's gay. See.
I retract my statement. Now you're gay.
Just like a fucking IDF. Paper.
Hey, we don't say that. You're fucking great.

(01:10:37):
I can't wait for you to edit that and then make the context
entirely different because. It wants to have them say the N
word and you react in the whitest way possible.
No, you didn't hear his slip. Inward.
Huh. You.
Didn't hear his slip. Inward.
Wait, what did he say? Inward did he say?
Wasn't it inward? God damn it.

(01:10:59):
I already did. You don't say that in the word.
Yeah, you'll see it. I didn't say it.
OK, this is going to be a problem.
I don't like having to edit these things.
This make Dino do it. I need to learn how to do this

(01:11:20):
anyway. But yeah, I can edit it.
I just, I just, I mean, I just don't trust anybody but Jake and
me. Jake was crisp.
Yeah, well, because. And he was using what, like
fucking audacity? Yeah.
But no, I don't trust you because you kept just what you
would do is what I do now, whichis just mix it down and then

(01:11:42):
send it to me to review. And then you printed out a thing
for me to, like, make notes on, to like at this and then at this
before we got Jake. Yeah.
And it was you didn't do anything.
I never got the notes. Back no you didn't do anything
initially OK you're like OK I'm done here check this out let me

(01:12:03):
know if he doesn't hear anythingand it was like 70 things he.
Doesn't want to do anything. He's going to pawn it all.
Ultimately, that is the dream, yes.
Yeah. I, I need to be able to afford
Jake again. I need to make it towards like
worth paying him. He's having a baby.
I thought he already had one. No, no.

(01:12:25):
He got engaged. I think we talked about that.
Engaged. Damn.
Yeah, he got engaged. Engaged.
Yes. Disgusting.
It better be a girl baby, OK? Because gay guys renting boy
babies. It needs to be done.
Yeah, man, it takes one to know.One, it is getting out of hand

(01:12:49):
the amount of victims these adopted boys have been.
It's like every time I open Instagram it's just another gay
couple getting in trouble for molesting their child that they
rented. Are you fucking serious?
I didn't know that was an epidemic.

(01:13:09):
Hey. You remember the slippery slope
everybody said was stupid? Oh God.
Now we have, well we did. I think we got rid of her but
like the head of like HHS was like a the ugliest troll guy
lady in the world. Oh my God.

(01:13:31):
So they were like diddling. Their babies, sorry.
Yeah, this has been a thing. It's been a thing that, like,
gay dudes rent a baby from an orphanage.
They adopt it. Yeah.
And then they. Get in trouble for gently used,
yeah. Gently, yeah.
That's what I'm hoping at least.I don't know, I they.

(01:13:52):
Treat it like the library. Lesbians don't do that shit,
they just beat each other up. What's a lesbian going to do
with a baby? Scissor.
Set on it. Weird.
Beat the other lesbian in front of.
It Yeah. Assert it's dominance I'm more

(01:14:13):
scared of like a man around a baby. 100% with.
A lady. Like when I was a kid, like when
I was in like up to like middle school, I would help my grandma
in the nursery at church a lot. And then when she couldn't make
it, I would do it. And then I got to high school

(01:14:35):
and I realized I'm like, I shouldn't be doing this.
Not because I have any weird feelings toward the babies, just
because it's no longer. It doesn't look good.
Yeah. It's just not for guys to do.
There's no. So like, and I loved being
around kids. I don't really anymore.
I like my nieces and nephews, and that's about it.
But I like, loved being around kids.
I thought they were so much fun.I loved, like, watching them

(01:14:58):
learn, you know? And now just thinking about
that, I'm like, it's just not appropriate.
It's not a dream a guy should have.
You prefer grown men now? There it goes.
Yeah, I was growing men and now I and.
Now that they're ripe, it's timeto harvest.

(01:15:18):
I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Yeah, it's, it's so weird there.
There have been so many. I don't know if it was here in
Oklahoma, but I feel like it was.
There was like a daycare and runout of some lady's house and her
son was like an adult and he waslike, taking kids and like,

(01:15:43):
messing with them. No.
And the whole place got shut down.
Yeah. OK, this is just making me
fucking sad. We didn't talk about anything
else. Anything.
Fuck you can find these people online.
Like the government just gives you the list.
I do like that. It's like do what you want with
this. Are you allowed to burn houses
down? No, not.
Tell you are Yeah, you are. You're allowed.

(01:16:03):
If you don't get caught, you're allowed.
But if you happen to be smoking cigarettes that day, the only
day of your life, and then you flick it out as you're driving
away on dry grass, fuck that. What happens happens?
If you happen to be carrying a 5gallon jug full of gasoline.
Exactly, I just so happen to be carrying some gasoline and you.
Need to refill your mower in front of a fucking house and

(01:16:25):
you're a little shaky because you.
If you happen to have a vest packed with RDX.
Accidents do, in fact, happen all right.
You got to point it at your fucking mouth, brother.
Think about it like the gun. Yeah, just swallow the barrel.
Yeah, just. Oh.

(01:16:46):
God damn you have a fucking. Brick of square.
Wave bullshit. This is reminding me of early
episodes. Yeah, you told me to do it.
We haven't even got the tased, you know.
I don't even have the Taser anymore.
Myself either I've tased myself.Do you want me to bring a Taser?

(01:17:07):
Bring it. Yeah.
All right, but I will get to youall.
First, you're not doing me, but you can tase me.
And see that's. Completely.
As long as you hold your fly as long as I have to, I get to
watch you hold the fly up and squeeze it as tight as you can
and then you can tase me. You need to like have a chastity

(01:17:27):
belt where I swallow the key andthen because I don't want to go
down and then get butt fucked. Look, you don't have to lie to
me like I don't understand why you're lying to me for If you
want it to happen, you want it to happen.
It's. Cool.
Oh fuck, I immediately got a headache from laughing.

(01:17:48):
Oh God damn it. Oh man.
Make stuff up. Oh, that's a good defense policy
though. I, I, I'll endorse.
That chastity balance, yeah. Defense policy.
Yes, before you get in a bar fight or anything, you just pull
up, put this on, I'll put mine on.

(01:18:12):
We give each other respective keys and swallow them and then
we can go to brawl. That's how I just.
Don't want to get knocked out and then get butt fucked.
The knocking out is is embarrassing enough.
I don't need to go home and explain to my wife but I got
knocked out and then butt fuck. Having.
Fucking Boston, Period. Having to explain that means in

(01:18:33):
you, you're in the wrong fucking.
Bar fucking fool me once. You are.
You are on, you fool. Me twice.
Shame on me. You are in. 3.
Times. Bar I never get fooled again.
Fool me three times. That's shame on you, no?
That's shame on yourself. You're taking advantage of a
fool 44 times, that's back on me.

(01:18:56):
Here's a whole. Joke.
There's a whole like joke you. Four times, yeah.
We need to show Dita, though. You're both.
Just in the same room butt. Naked.
Fuck, I'm in tears right now, holy shit.
James McCann, the catamaran plan, I think is his socials.
He's the one that does that joke.
It's very funny it. Is funny.

(01:19:18):
Oh, I do have a thing on. Yeah, it's been.
It was nice in here earlier. I do have something to talk
about. I forgot.
So you know about the Riyadh Comedy Festival?
This sounds too close to jihad. I don't.
Think it like it is pretty fucking close to Jihad.
It's in Saudi Arabia. I want to pull up the list of
comics that's going to be at it because it's nuts, but there's

(01:19:39):
one that surprises me the most. Middle Eastern people don't have
a sense of humor. Yeah.
They do, it's just. Tim Dylan has been evacuated
from the country and is banned because the jokes that he was
making prior to the festival. Oh.
God. I don't know how to spell Riad
so HADHAD. IRIHAD.

(01:20:04):
RIHAD Comedy Festival. Why is there AY Riad?
Oh, you were wrong. There's a whole SY in there.
And then line up Shane Gillis turned him down.
He's like, fuck no. It ends with an H All right,

(01:20:25):
Riyadh Comedy Festival. Lineup.
Yeah, Yeah, you got it. Yeah.
Yeah, that's crazy. It's crazy.
Let's see. Let's see.
Say an American. They don't have a sense of
humor. OK, so I don't know who any of
these people are. No, like Kumail Nanji, Tom
Segura. Why Jo Koy could see you.
Jo Koy is nobody. Hannibal America barely

(01:20:48):
understands your humor. Andrew Schultz.
Yeah, I could see. Him do the honor Sebastian
Maniscalco fucking. No.
Yeah, Louis CK. Louis CK, but my favorite one's
coming up Louis. CK OH.
Pete Davidson, old butthole eyes.
His dad died in the towers I guess.

(01:21:11):
Who did that shit? Saudi Arabia.
Those shills, they're shills. They're shills.
Stop. Don't.
Say something, but all right, I won't say nothing.
I appreciate your restraint you.Know he was about to place blame
on God's chosen people and we can't do that so.
Why doing that? OK.

(01:21:34):
All right. It's all the lights.
Hey, you know what? I have a funny story about Pete
Davidson. So recently I had a guy I worked
with, we'll call him Jeff. How was he and.
He was. What's his side?
He's. Fucking retarded, I'll tell you.

(01:21:56):
That how many drinks to get him in.
Bed you had. No, he was completely sober.
Yeah, Adam, I heard it. He was completely sober and he
had someone call him from his bank and his name was Pete
Davidson. They just wanted to confirm his
card number and stuff. And this motherfucker just
fucking gave it to him. Just gave it to Pete Davidson,

(01:22:19):
his card info and all that. And he's like, hold on after he
hung up. Wait a minute.
He hung up. After he already gave all he
ever read, he's like wait. I need to cancel that card right
now. And I'm like, what the fuck are
you doing? He's like his name was Pete
Davidson. How many gift cards do you think
he purchased before he get that card?

(01:22:41):
Cancelled bro he's. Getting all retarded.
Right, all the fucking gift. Cards.
I couldn't stop laughing at him.It's like his name.
He called himself Pete Davidson and you still gave him.
All Pete Davidson. I'm.
Pete Davidson. My name is Pete Davidson.
All right. Do not redeem sounds.

(01:23:01):
Good do not redeem you mother bitches.
Like and he waited till the end of the conversation.
It was just done. And then they both said bye and
hung up. And he's like, wait a minute.
That's all bubble eyes. Like how the fuck did it take
that fucking long? Hey, I'm Oprah Winfrey.
I just need to make sure that your account's in good standing.

(01:23:23):
Can you go ahead and give me thelast four of your social?
Yeah, I just just to make sure Igot you right, Can you also give
me the first four of your social?
You also send me pictures of your children.
I'm Oprah Winfrey. Now what is your?
If you'll check under your chair, you'll find
disappointment because I didn't put anything there.
Like I already know this, but what is what is your account

(01:23:44):
number? Your account number?
OK, cool. Now your routing number.
All right, cool. If they're asking for all 7
digits of your Social Security number, yeah, it's.
Seven, like I asked for the lastfour and then I'll, I said in
for security reasons, let's go ahead and get your first four,

(01:24:06):
1st 4, the first four and the last four.
Yeah, yeah. First four, last four, and then
you just have to guess the middle one.
No, you get it twice. Oh, wait, yeah.
Jesus fuck. So if they.
Gave you the wrong 1, you know. Wait, is it's.
What? Hold on one somewhere.

(01:24:27):
Oh, it's probably 9. You're trying to do fucking no,
It's nine no. Maybe yours is 7, maybe you're.
It's nine, it's nine, it's 8, it's three and then. 3/2 and.
Then four, yeah. Yeah, that's fucking 9 dude.
Quit tricking. Russell he's in a vulnerable
state. I can't do math without my

(01:24:47):
fingers. Shut up and.
Since we're talking about our Social Security number, I'd have
to say the numbers out loud to come do it, and he's drunk and
we're getting the math done at the same time.
Do it. I want you to do it.
You won't. You're scared.
It's pretty gay if you don't. Mine is super easy to remember,

(01:25:07):
it's really weird. Say it.
I'm not going to say it's reallyweird, but not only is my Social
Security number like made for a retarded guy to remember, my
badge number at work is just a series of like the same 3
numbers. Say it and then my employee
number or sorry, my badge numberis almost it it it's not these

(01:25:33):
numbers, but it's kind of the same 1/2. 345.
Oh my God, and. Then my employee number is just
a series of three numbers. Repeat.
Them. And it's like.
What is it? How does they how does everybody
know I'm retarded before they even met me?
You're like, what the ethical hackers what they would hire the

(01:25:54):
ethical hackers to do? Like they would plant you in a
business to see if any flags getraised at all that you're a
security concern. And that's just can't.
Rustle Shackle for Russell T Shackle.
Rusty shackle. God damn it.
That's the key of the. Old guy slipped right out of the

(01:26:16):
radar. Meanwhile, he worked there for
five years. I mean he.
Has spy seven years. He has spy craft in his lineage.
Yeah, I do, right. You don't understand.
You can find them on Rust Prism pod Is it?
Rust Prism. But no, it's Rust Prism.
Rust Prism at. Oh my Gmail.

(01:26:38):
Yeah, Rust Prism 12. Rust prism 12 at Gmail Yeah, hit
him up, there's a social. No, don't, don't hit me up
there. Hit us up at the e-mail that's
in the description. If you send shit to my personal
e-mail, I'm going to find you. Yeah, I'm not going to read it
because I don't even know if I can log into that anymore.
I'm just going to send. I don't know.
Who has Russ Prism at Gmail? But somebody doesn't.

(01:27:00):
It's not me. And I thought I did.
It's fucking a Pink Floyd. Slut hello.
But all of my stuff across the board is Russ Prism I believe.
Can any except for somehow. Our Spotify name is yours.
Really. It's been something, I don't
know. We got like our first like

(01:27:21):
comment on Spotify in a long time and I went to like it.
And then if you go on Spotify, it's weird.
If you go on Spotify, it says Ben something.
It's an old last name that we used a long time ago.
For you, Shapiro. No, it's not even that.
And it's been something with ourlogo liked this and then, but if

(01:27:41):
you were to in Spotify comment in our Spotify account, it's a
different account because we were it was before it was Anchor
and then Anchor got bought by Spotify and now it's Spotify for
podcasts or for creators, I don't remember.
And so it's two different accounts that are tied together
and I can't change the name on either of.

(01:28:03):
Them. Whoops.
'Cause I'm not going in there. No, I so I was like this is I
don't like why? Why is it doing this?
All the engagement is actually just Russell, but it looks.
Like I all of it is, all of it is, and there is a guy on the
Discord and he shows up on SonicWednesday named Ben something.
It's not you probably. Dover.

(01:28:26):
I know his last name, but I can't remember if that's part of
his username or not, so I'm not going to say.
It it's always going to be but. It's it's Ben will never contact
you. He doesn't care.
If I'm ever contacting you, it'sa scam.
It's not. Me or I've killed myself and
he's letting you guys know. And I will, absolutely.
You motherfucker, if you ever dothat, if you put that burden on

(01:28:49):
me, I will resurrect you. So I.
Can I can kill you again? Fake my suicide so I could hear
you crying on the podcast? That's fucked up.
That is. Fucked up.
I don't care about any of you. He lost him.
He was a stinky man, but he was a good man.
He really believed in freedom the American way.

(01:29:12):
He loved Jews. Never tell you that though, out
of respect. Oh man.
Louis CK at the Riyadh festival.Bro he just got in trouble for
masturbating a little bit. Bro, leave him alone.
I never would have imagined him deciding to do that.

(01:29:33):
He. Doesn't need money.
The money he doesn't. Need the money, he just.
Is he doing this to challenge himself or something?
Actually, he might need the money.
He didn't. He didn't make money for a long
time. I guess it makes sense to be him
with Jimmy Carr, because Jimmy Carr he does not care about the
jokes he makes either. Yeah, Jimmy Carr doesn't

(01:29:55):
surprise me because he will do anything just to like he will
get alive. Because they.
Are. Funny, he I don't.
Blame Jimmy Carr, they are. Funny they it is.
Jimmy, yeah, that's on brand forhim.
I have a problem with Andrew. Schultz.
Doing it. Though.
Because he seemed like a man of principles, although his fucking
show with Charlemagne is like the opposite of having

(01:30:15):
principles. So he's on fucking.
Tired. Bro this.
Is common. He's on fucking tired.
So you think Shane would slap some sense into him?
He's like what the fuck are you doing, dude?
Comedy, bro. He just, it just kind of like he
has this air of being an assholearound him and I just kind of
assumed for the longest time that it was just kind of he just

(01:30:36):
kind of looks like that. He like sounds like that but he
probably is an OK guy because ofall the friends he has and like
how big he is and then seeing him do this I was like he
doesn't fucking care dude. I wouldn't for the money
completely. I wouldn't put money on this.
I would put straight money on this.
If the mothership wasn't active in Texas, Rogan would also be on
that. The best?

(01:30:56):
They wouldn't invite Rogan. He doesn't do comedy.
The best comedy you could do is being an asshole.
Asshole comedy is the best comedy.
Also, Rogan does not do a lot. Apparently does not.
Not as much. Know what happens at the fucking
mothership? There's a guy, Tyler Fisher, who
got banned for like a COVID jokeand and it was just the manager

(01:31:21):
there. It wasn't even the Booker that
used to do the show with Norm MacDonald.
He's the Booker at the mothership.
It's it like the manager banned Tyler Fisher and Tyler's a
pretty big name. He's been on Kill Tony quite a
bit and he is banned from the mothership, or at least was.
I don't know if he is anymore and Rogan doesn't know.

(01:31:42):
Like he's trying to hide it fromRogan.
No, like he said, Rogan had no idea that it even happened.
So like, I don't know how much Rogan is actually paying
attention to what's going on. He's got a billion dollars.
Yeah, he built a clubhouse for his friends to, like, try to
trick them into moving there. And instead he let a gay guy do
a show for retards. That's Kill Tony.

(01:32:08):
Yeah, it's it's comedians on stage making fun of retarded
people. And then some.
Oh, oh, oh, oh. I want to trademark this joke
because it was my joke. It's, you know, comedians in
cars getting coffee. Yeah.
Comedians in Saudi Arabia getting pooped on.
Heyo. I already made it.

(01:32:28):
Everybody else laughed at it, but I just wanted to we.
Did bookmark it? Yeah, you do need to bookmark
your jokes. They're stealing your shit out
there. Yeah, Russell, your stuff's in
danger. Yeah.
What was my joke the other day that somebody stole?
That was just. I always just.
There was a new there was a new member that joined your
community that had the name thatyou were going to use.

(01:32:49):
Yeah, yeah. N word scissorhands, yeah.
So you're racist? Like I always like, I just never
said it out loud. It's.
Not that I'm racist, said it outloud, no.
Have I OK? You said it out loud before you
just. Never.
So you're a fucking racist? You never stamped it.
Yeah, Yeah, I am. That's a known quantity.

(01:33:14):
Yeah, that's just. Well, I'm offended.
OK, you're allowed. To be offended.
You're allowed to be offended. You fucking and shut up.
I don't. Care.
He's allowed to not give a fuck.Until fists start happening,
Yeah, I I'm disappointed. I don't, I'm not disappointed in

(01:33:36):
Mark. He doesn't pay attention to
what's going on anyway. How did?
How did fucking Tony Henchcliffeever get popular?
Like he he like makes fun of people in a fun of you in quick
way. Like he's quick witted when it
comes to like insults, but that's about it.
It's Rogan. Rogan made him popular.

(01:33:59):
I. Don't think he was even that
fast about it. I'm faster than him when he
comes to making fun of people. I.
Thought you were like I'm fasterthan him when it comes to
fucking foot races. You could definitely beat Tony
Hedgecliffe in a. Foot.
I don't know, he balls pretty hard.
Apparently I'm. Pretty fucking clever when it
comes to making fun of people just.
Apparently he's really good at Bballs.

(01:34:19):
No, Dean. Dino will surprise you.
I just but I I Dino. Plays basketball like he
actually for real like. I hold back when it comes to
making fun of people. I try not to as best I can.
It doesn't mean I'm not good at it.
It doesn't mean that whenever it.
Comes to you. Pick the low hanging fruit,
brother. Ross is a low hanging fruits or

(01:34:40):
every time something gay pops upbam I already know it's him.
He's got that low hanging fruit,my right rose that's.
Just comes with AIDS. Somebody needs to let Wayne
Brady know what happens to gay guys in Saudi Arabia.
Being black isn't going to save you.
He's bigger than all of them. I think you just get like.
Stoned, but there's more of themand they're all wearing dresses.

(01:35:03):
Gays. You only that's true.
You only have to hit a couple ofthem to spook the rest.
OK, we don't say spook here. Sorry.
Well, I've heard you say it like6.
Times shut up N word. Love you guys.

(01:35:59):
None.

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