139: Jeans

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
You are now entering the prism. Nice.
Hi. Starting this off with a nasty.
Yeah, I am. I like it dude.

(00:26):
What? My back fucking hurts.
Why? What's his name?
Brad. Brad really knows how to treat a
lady. I was.
I was just standing doing work at a very stupid angle because I

(00:49):
was concentrating. But your work that requires you
to sit. I've like a rib level bench at
the guitar shop and I was just fucking around for so long and I
was hunching over it like a little gremlin, but I was
standing and so my spine was just maintaining one of the
worst positions. And now I get to deal with it

(01:13):
for like the next week. Dude after my fingers still I
think I might like made a small tear in something between my 2.
Fingers you over your Scarlet Witch in me, because what'd you
do? Like the first time we took
apart the board pulling all those knobs, my hand was kind of
sore afterwards Yeah, but like my middle finger right here.

(01:35):
This last time it was sore and it still is kind of sore.
Oh fuck. But it was like really sore for
like 2 weeks and I couldn't get it to stop.
I was like, what the fuck is going on It finally I like
forgot about it because it's notas bad, but if I like like fuck
with it, it kind of hurts. But yeah, it's like that's what

(01:55):
it had to be unrelated to do on the board.
I had to have done something else to it it.
Was just happened to be near that time.
Yeah. Man, I hope so.
You can't let the old man in. He was always there.
What do you eat? I'm on book seven of the

(02:15):
terminal list. The fuck Yeah out of eight.
I forgot to get that book for you.
The leadership book? Yeah.
Is it Mein Kampf? Maybe.
Or is it Mao's little Red Book? No, I have no details on Mao's
book. Are they just good principles to

(02:37):
live by? I never read it.
I burned one. Nice.
I. I don't read.
I don't know why, but we found it in.
We found a copy of Mao's Little Red Book in my basement.
Uh. Oh.
And I don't know why we had it. It was me and my older brother.

(02:58):
You think your grandpa got compromised and was raising your
father as a? No, because this was after he
had come up and like got all of his stuff from the basement.
So this was like my parents stuff for the most part.
Yeah. I don't remember exactly where
we found it. It might have been in the garage
somewhere I don't remember exactly but it was in like
storage shit area. So like either the basement or

(03:20):
somewhere in the garage and did.You leaf through all of it
before you burned it. No we like because there could
have been up and miles picture was on the first page.
This is me and my older brother and he's like, we need to burn
this shit. That's why we went to the we
went to the burn pile and burnedit.
He suggested that, yeah, I don'tknow what smart.
I don't know why we had it. He knew like, danger
immediately. You know that thing you have

(03:41):
with snakes where they'll just sneak up on you and scare the
fucking shit? Out of you, Yeah.
He's like, fucking your brother's here, motherfucker.
Yeah, your brother had that for the right actual dangers.
It's fucking smart. The Shackleford's are a strong
family that will survive. Everybody but my little
brother's carrying now. Good.
I just have to get my little brother to go to class.

(04:02):
There's a there's free classes in Colorado, but I got to figure
out how to get him into it. Just sign him up for it and then
let him know what. The well 'cause it's the class
doesn't cost money, but the permit still does, so I have to
send him money and stuff too. How much is it in Colorado?
I don't remember, I looked it up.
It'll be a little bit before I can just convince my wife to let
me send my brother money. Allegedly, by the way, he was

(04:25):
kidding. He doesn't have a gun to carry.
He would carry because it's a responsible thing to do.
However, he doesn't have a gun, so he's not carrying.
Yeah, sure. But unless you want to test
that, Yeah. You want to call his bluff?
Yeah. Please don't.
I don't want Russell in prison. But it's yeah, I've got you're

(04:51):
not but and last week your excuses, you forgot but because
you're in a hurry. But were you?
Have you been consistently in a hurry this whole week?
I've carried it once. You'll get used to it.
I know it's uncomfortable at first but you'll get used to it.
Especially if you get pants thatfit.
Yeah, instead of. That's a struggle toddler.

(05:11):
Yeah, that's a struggle. That is a sincere struggle.
My wife will just, like, take itupon herself to purchase pants
for me 'cause she sees this. She sees what's happening.
And then they'll show up in the mail and she's like, I got you
pants. And like, great.
She's like, why don't you go ahead and try them on?
And I'm all fucking sweaty from whatever I was doing that day.

(05:31):
And it's like, I'm not, First ofall, I'm not gonna get into
fresh pants. Yeah, after I've been sweating
these ones out, I don't want them to, like, stick to me
rolling up. Yeah.
Then we're gonna have to throw them immediately into the
fucking washer and it's a mess. Secondly, everything that she
buys me does not fucking fit right.
So what the what the listeners? Ben's got a proclivity for

(05:56):
wearing very tight jeans. No, it's just I'm.
Fat are they? What is the cut of the ones
you're wearing right now? Are they slim?
No, I I think they're relaxed fit or something.
There ain't nothing relaxed. About it, yeah.
I was going to say the only thing.
Relax. Is your cock.
True? True, but.

(06:17):
Yeah, There was one that I'd gotten that was a straight cut
that was like my favorite pair of jeans.
And it fit fucking perfect. It was like baggy enough for me
to be able to like, move and bend down.
And I wore them so frequently. I would like, religiously after
the second day of like wearing it, I would throw it in the

(06:37):
washer so I could get them back on me as quickly as possible.
And like you can see some of thethe wearing the wear patterns
like eventually my knife just it's doing this.
So what wears in mind is the crotch.
Yeah, always. Yeah, and I had that problem
with several other types of jeans, but this one was perfect.

(06:59):
If this takes off, we're 130 some episodes in.
So yeah, but like if I were to do like that guy I just showed
you is just like find the most mundane issue in a product and
then like do it might make one myself.

(07:19):
Over engineer. I would over engineer the crotch
in a line of jeans. They do that already, I mean.
That these are. They have the special crotch.
Gusset is the term. It's gusset.
We need to go to Duluth. Yeah, Duluth and get their stuff
like in. Ballroom jeans.
I feel like I would be so inspired and comfortable at all

(07:41):
times because I just had a high quality.
It's just so well that I would start like lifting religiously,
eating clean all the time, then the jeans wouldn't fit and then
I'd get sad. Because they're made for fat
people specifically. I don't know if their jeans are
quality. Like I keep getting gene
propaganda on all of my stuff. So like I'm being told you need
to buy raw denim and never wash them.

(08:03):
You're supposed to spot clean your jeans.
Like if you have synthetic denimand like shitty denim like I
have. Then you can walk spot clean my
ass crack. You're supposed to wear
underwear, so. I do, but you think that
underwear can stop this? Look, I'm just telling you what
the fags on the Internet tell meabout, and they're all gay and
they're all wearing Canadian tuxedos.

(08:24):
Yeah, we're skirting the line talking this much about
outerwear. But I don't know, like, yeah, I
don't know. These are like cheap.
They're from Lee, but they have this like really like thick
elastic on the inside. Yeah, yeah, on the inside of the
waist. They I whenever they go on sale,

(08:45):
they're at Kohl's. Whenever they go on sale I just
buy a few pairs. Fuck yeah.
Fuck yeah. Yeah, I, I like them a lot.
I've had good luck with them. I, I still wear out the crotch,
but what are you going to do? I got a sharp ball sack.
In an acidic tank. That's probably true.

(09:07):
That's a. Defense mechanism to keep the
gaze at Bay. Yeah, that is probably true.
The other day I was standing next to you and you said I can
smell your balls, what do you want?
I was really upset because my balls weren't sweaty and I had
just watched them, so I wasn't sure if you were just joking.

(09:29):
But then when I got home, I tookmy pants off because I
immediately like I get home, take dogs out, put my gun up,
and then I change into shorts and I took my pants off and I
was like, God damn it, he was right.
You're a powerful man. Yeah, with a powerful scent.
Well this past week my Bo has been kind of crazy and I don't

(09:51):
know why. I've been nothing different, but
I'm like sweat. I need to change deodorants I
think because I've been startingto sweat through it I think.
I don't know. Do you dio your balls?
No, no, no, I'm talking about mypits.
OK. I don't know if there are any
health implications for doing that.
De deodorant in general is not good for you so.

(10:11):
Yeah, exactly. And if you like triple the
surface area that you're covering by putting it down by
your junk mail, like is that going to be, could that be
problematic? I don't know.
Logging your sack pores with aluminum, yeah, does kind of
fuck with your it's are you definitely bad for you?

(10:32):
It's definitely bad for you. It's 100% bad for you.
Is. It to give you vaginal odor.
Like the only reason I do like Iwouldn't you like I'm not like
super like anti seed oil style guy, but like if those other

(10:55):
deodorants worked, I'd use them because I'm going to get
lymphoma. Yeah, you've already like
accepted that. Because because like, I like it.
Deodorant. Like the aluminium in deodorant,
you're not supposed to be just sticking metal in your body.
Also, you're not supposed to be stopping yourself.
No one's from sweating. Yeah, that's true.

(11:18):
You're not supposed to be stopping yourself from sweating.
I mean, we're allowed to becausewe live in a easy world.
Yeah, but it's bad for you. Like honestly, if it if the
smell didn't bother other peoplebecause it doesn't really bother
me take like if I didn't care about stinking, which almost I

(11:41):
almost don't just because of howI smell all the time.
But one of the only reasons I even use deodorant is because it
like lubricates my armpits. So I don't get like like
chafing, you know, because when I don't, when I forget it, my
armpit hair and my, my side booband my bicep like squeeze

(12:03):
against each other and it hurts And that sweat just makes it rub
like different. And so like deodorant like kind
of keeps it from hurting. Like, that's one that's one of
the big reasons why I wear deodorant at all.
So you could get away with doinglike canola oil or something.
And yeah, just gear oil. Crisco it.
Yeah, yeah. But yeah, like I, I like.

(12:27):
The idea of gear oil because like, we already think that Bo,
like universally, we think it's an unpleasant odor.
But if you've never smelled fucking gear oil, I like to.
Smell gear oil. I mean, it is it yeah, I guess
if you've never been around it, but I like it.
But but yeah, I if I would use the stuff they make you use when

(12:51):
you're on an alcohol monitor, but it just doesn't work.
I guess I'm not familiar with that.
What's it called? It's not Dave's.
Let's see. An alcohol monitor.
Yeah, like the bracelet that beeps when you start drinking
the ankle monitor that. I didn't know that was a thing.

(13:13):
It like constantly is sampling your sweat and so you as soon as
you take a sip it'll know. That's.
Crazy, I mean, I guess not as soon, but as soon as it like
enters your bloodstream, right, right.
And that is like a, a mechanism of or a a way that they, that's
something they can put on you for like too many Duis or
drunken disorders or something. Yeah, like it took me a long

(13:36):
time before I knew that those ignition disablers existed in
cars. Yeah, which is?
Those should be illegal the way that those are.
Oh, I see. Free deodorant.

(13:57):
What is that called? Dove.
Tom's. Tom's is what I've heard they
use because for some reason regular deodorant will like set
those off. I don't know if there's alcohol
in it. Or if the byproduct that gets

(14:19):
excreted is the same I. Don't know exactly but Tom's
apparently is what they suggest when you're on one of those and
that that type of stuff just doesn't work.
Like I can't even use the gel one it causes chafing.
Yeah, the gel's kind of. But two, I just sweat through it
and then I and I start stinking immediately.

(14:40):
I've noticed a lot more recentlythat they don't have
antiperspirants with the deodorant they.
Just don't become honest. The antiperspirant is the
aluminum, right and all that youhave aluminum except.
No, no, no. Antiperspirant and and deodorant
are two different things. Now there are antiperspirants

(15:01):
that also have deodorant, but you can purchase, and this is
becoming too frequent. You can purchase just deodorant,
not the antiperspirant. I use the antiperspirant
because, like you've seen me on days where I miss it, fucking
just pours and coats my fucking.Well, and because the reason
that the, the deodorant doesn't work is because you sweat off

(15:23):
the deodorant and all that bacteria starts gobbling up, it
starts repopulating and you start stinking again.
There's deodorant doesn't work. When somebody's saying deodorant
though, like just hey, I'm wearing deodorant now, they're
referring to antiperspirant because 99.9 of everything on
that rack is antiperspirant and that's it's the aluminum.

(15:44):
And that's that's what I was commenting on like it's there's
starting to phase out antiperspirant.
I don't know I by degree and that's all I use.
I use lady speed stick. I use my wife's.
I can't remember what she just for the balls.
I can't remember what she uses, but she uses it every once in a
while. And there have been times where

(16:04):
I put it on my nuts and it's at her request.
Like if we're going out, like ifI'm I get home and we need to go
somewhere immediately or something.
Like there have been times whereshe's like, just put this on
your nuts. It stinks and I like don't have
time to like get in the shower and yeah, it's happened a couple
times, but. Dude, what are the potential

(16:27):
drawbacks? Like what if you, what if you're
feeling good? You have a date night with your
lady and you're like, you know what, I'm going to go ahead and
DMA boys. And then things escalate a
little bit later. I don't have intercourse with
your wife. And now all of a sudden.
She has aluminum in her pussy. Yeah.
What? Yeah.
Does that mean that your baby's going to come out as a Silver
Surfer? I don't know.

(16:50):
I mean, I don't think it's goingto hurt if the baby exists.
I don't think it's going to hurtthe baby, 'cause.
Your your wife is going to stay dry for the next week.
Babies are pretty resilient in the womb.
That's why you have to decapitate them and yank them
out and cut them into pieces to kill them when you're boarding

(17:10):
them so. And some of them still make it,
which is. It's hard to kill a fetus, just
so you know. But I'm going to try it, so
baby's not going to kill itself it.
Takes that's, I think that's theproblem most people have with
abortion is how hard you have totry to get it done.

(17:31):
I can't imagine someone going through clinicals as a gyno and
not quitting. You know, you go and you see
that procedure, you have to participate in it, and you're
watching it up close. Yeah.
How do you not just fucking quit?
I feel like I bet you you can opt out of those.
Like for ethical reasons. Yeah, because there's doctors

(17:52):
that don't agree with it. Yeah, what is their term like a
conscientious? Conscientious objector, You mean
Donald Trump? That's, I think that's how he
got out of Vietnam or something.Why are you so mad at?
No, he had bone spurs. Yeah, yeah, that's right.
Who was it? He's.
A God damn patriot. Can't just play.

(18:13):
Yeah, he's just approved in a a Qatar Air Force Base in Idaho.
That sounds like a patriot to me.
He's a fucking. Patriot.
It's for those terrorists. The ones that Qatar keeps
paying. No, Russell, you're supposed to
be a shill. That's your character.

(18:34):
You're out of character right now.
Yes, Mr. President. But what they said when they
were flying or steering the plane into the fucking tower or.
Something. Yep.
Now watch a strap. But that was a good sound.

(18:57):
That was. I don't know if it got caught or
not. No, I did.
They got some carbonation in it,Yeah.
Dude, Nick Mcquick, if you're listening right now, like skip a
little bit, 'cause I, I got something I want to tell Ben
about the book. In confidence.
But I but I don't want you to, Idon't want to spoil it for you,

(19:19):
'cause it's really cool. Can you go back and like insert
a timestamp at which he can jumpback to?
No, OK, I'm just going to say. OK, Nick, go ahead and clock
out. We love you.
We're sorry. We'll make sure that the rest of
this podcast is not funny. Guys, when you listen to this

(19:39):
'cause I am not going to remember anything about this.
So while you guys are listening to this, when I stopped spoiling
this book for Ben Can. You time stand it.
For me, please let Nick know in the chat so he can pick back up
at the timestamp give. Him no context, just only put
digits there so that if he does it, if he's not locked in with

(19:59):
the boys, he's going to get it spoiled.
And that's his fault, because we're a community and we require
solidarity to to thrive, really.So anyway, every, each book
there's like a torture scene of either the main characters
torturing the bad guy or one of the side characters is torturing
the bad guy in the second book. I think the second book, what

(20:19):
they do is they have a guy standing on a stool and a piece
of piano wire around his nuts and then up to and it's hanging
from the ceiling and he has to and it's like tension.
So he kind of has to stand on his tip toes.

(20:41):
Right. And.
Or his hands, like tied behind his back.
Yeah, I like that. Because like.
In that. Scenario, Even if his hands were
not tied behind his back, you'renot getting that piano wire
that's already under tension when you're on your tip toes
off. Yeah, that's just not happening.
So he is like questioning him and just.

(21:03):
Fucking kicks the stool out whenhe's done.
Yeah, Fuck yeah. Yeah, so they like, he's like,
I'll untie you just got to let me know what the fuck is going
on. Tell me this, tell me that.
And then he's like, please, OK, alright, I'll tell you, I'll
tell you, just please let me go.And he's like, alright.
And then he tells him and he goes, alright, I'll see you
later. And he kicks the stool out
running, Yanks his nuts off. But the 7th book this is, it's

(21:27):
really cool because it goes intodepth into specifically like
Chinese torture methods that theChinese do.
And they're like, we, you know, we read about your waterboarding
and your shit. And we're like, that's too
basic. So what we do is we stick a
catheter in. Well, we stick a, a needle in
behind your, or like in your eye, next to your eye, and then

(21:50):
put a catheter through there. And then we just start slowly
pumping saline behind your eye until your eyeball pops out and
he goes, If that doesn't work, we take two balloon catheters up
into your nasal cavity and we just start filling with air
until your entire septum just explodes.

(22:13):
And if that doesn't work, you have a balloon in your bladder
and it's inflated and we're going to start yanking on it.
Pick it up to the F-150. That's so funny.
So Reese is like. Dude, could you remember chain
gangs? Well I mean we weren't there but

(22:34):
they would like just chain people up and fucking.
Drive. Could you imagine that but
through your urethra? Out your butt.
Yeah, definitely that. That's what.
But like Reese is like questioning him.
He goes the eye thing and he's like fuck it, this isn't

(22:58):
working. Puts the things in his nose and
it's just blowing all over the place and it's not working.
Then he starts yanking on the catheter and he's like, OK, OK,
I'll tell you. I'll tell you, I'll tell you.
And he's gets all this information from him.
He's like, thanks, you just Yanks it out.
And the way he describes the urethra exploding is so good in

(23:23):
the first book and this doesn't happen in the show.
They do something like it in theshow, but it's nowhere near as
good in the show. He takes this guy and something
that they do in a SEAL teams. I don't know if this is in real
life or not, but in the books, all the SEAL teams get like a
gift tomahawk from this knife maker, which the tomahawk itself
is real and the knife maker is real and it's a whole thing.

(23:43):
And I think that he does give these Tomahawks to seal team
members and they, these Tomahawks are like 800 bucks and
it's like a like a year and a half waiting list.
Like it's crazy. I'm going to get one eventually.
They're so cool. But anyway, he so he like does a
lot of work with this tomahawk. And one of the things like the

(24:04):
whole thing is he's going after people who got his family killed
and, and he he is, he's not evenreally, I don't, it's been a
while since I read the first one, but he's, he's not really
even torturing the guy for information because he knows all
of it. He's literally just punishing
the guy. And so he guts him and then he

(24:26):
takes the tomahawk and like there's a spike on one side of
the tomahawk, right? And he's got the spike through
his intestine and he like sticksthe spike to a tree with the
intestinal and he goes walk. And they do something like that

(24:47):
in the show, but it's with a different guy and it's he
doesn't tell him to walk, but hedoes like pull his intestine out
and. Tack it to the tree.
Tack it to a a board that's right next to him and it's cool,
but it's nowhere near as cool asin the book.
All right, all right, We're donespoiling it, so let him know.
Oh, never mind. Hold on.

(25:09):
What was the previous torture method that we discussed?
The penis. No, no, no, no.
Oh the the wire around the nuts.Fuck.
I lost it. I didn't want to.
Interrupt because you're on a roll.
Chain gang urethra. I wanted to explore that
further, but no. All right, well, I'm, I'm.

(25:29):
Spoiling it then, yeah. The 8th book I guess is not
about. I don't know what happens at the
end of the one I'm on, but the 8th book isn't about him, I
guess. It's about his dad.
So it's like back in Vietnam andhis dad was like a Mac be Sog
guy, which is like the the terrorists from the CIA that

(25:49):
were in Vietnam. They were doing all the hits
basically. Yeah, yeah, like crazy.
Fucking shit is awesome. How do you pick someone for that
job? It was the.
Like when someone's like gets a suspiciously perfect answer on
like a psychology assessment. So like so that implies that

(26:12):
they were smart enough and self aware enough to know that they
were fucked up and strategicallypicked all the right answers.
So nowadays Mcafee's dog is still technically a thing, but
they're they're colloquially called Ground Branch and I don't
remember. What the root is that what a
ground branch is no a? Root like like a branch of of a

(26:36):
of the military, but that's likethat meaning of the word branch.
'Cause this feels like Naruto. Stuff and then ground like being
on the ground like our our ground forces.
Right, but. 'Cause there's a political
branch. Yeah, but Donzo's, like special
forces assassins were the root. I'm going to have diarrhea when

(26:58):
I get home. That stinks.
If you didn't already. Yeah, no.
But anyway, I can't remember what they're called, but they
still exist. But like nowadays you just you
can just apply from, but they'renot going to hire you unless
you're like pretty cool militaryservice.
So like most of the guys are like Seals and Delta and like

(27:21):
Rangers and stuff like that. But back back then there was, I
don't exactly know how they got picked.
There's a thing called the Phoenix program.
I don't know a lot about it, butit was basically the CI as

(27:43):
assassin program in during the Vietnam War.
Where they would just get like dangerous criminals and then.
No, it wasn't the Suicide Squad.They were military guys for the
most part but I don't I don't want 100%.
Now I my grandpa dealt with him a lot with his attachment but he

(28:05):
was in army intelligence but he his unit attached to SOG quite a
bit and he didn't tell. Me anything about it super gay.
Yeah, it does. Yeah, my, my.
Special Operations Group is whatSOG stands for.
I don't know what Mac V is. Have a soggy unit?

(28:27):
Yeah. But you've you've probably seen
the logo for Mac V suck. It's like a a skull with a well
with a beret. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

(28:47):
So from all that, he didn't talkabout it.
I had to do a lot of research, but from what I could tell, his
unit was attached to them on in Vietnam.
I don't know what he did. I don't know what operations he
did because he never talked about what he would talk.
He talked a ton about post Vietnam stuff.
He didn't talk anything about what went on in Vietnam.

(29:09):
Like the only thing I know aboutVietnam and his his service is
he carried an M60 and he didn't drink.
That's all I know. But that didn't.
Mean it and like the time frame he was there he did smoke.
I don't he didn't smoke weed though.
He was a pretty like straight edge guy his whole life.
I feel like it's the same story as like when your dad snuck

(29:31):
beer. Like someone had to have gotten
him once with a silly siggy. Maybe he I, he's like, from what
is this? He initially would like it made
fun of 'cause like, I guess there would be like tankers that
would come up and it'd just be agiant beer keg basically.
But then there's also one that'sjust like Coke or like different

(29:54):
like sodas and stuff or no, it was like, I, I think
specifically it was like orange Fanta or something like that,
that he had that he said he had a lot of instead of beers.
I don't know exactly how like the beers got on to like where
they were and stuff, but he had,he always had the option between
beer and like orange Fanta. And, like, at first he would get

(30:14):
made fun of, but then, like, he gained a lot of respect with
some of the guys because he justkept refusing to drink when
everybody else was drinking. And then, like, the drug problem
over there got crazy. Yeah.
And. Followed those boys home.
Yeah. And so like for him to not
partake in that ever, it was. Great.
Which I mean it's entirely possible that he did, but from

(30:38):
the guy I knew did not like I'veI've never seen him do anything
and I knew him when he was crazylike I lived with.
I spent almost every waking moment with him when he lost his
mind so and he never screwed up like that.
He never did anything weird, barely drink.

(30:58):
Coffee. I mean he everybody has their
faults but, and I'm sure he did some fucking crazy shit, but it
was always to the enemy. But yeah, he would talk about
and this is like post Vietnam when he worked in the Pentagon
and did really secret shit for Army intelligence when he got

(31:20):
wit sacked to a different country.
I don't think I've told that on this show, but I don't know if I
want to say more than that 'cause I don't know exactly what
I said. But he and he told us all that
stuff. But he what?
If you're actually not even a Shackleford.

(31:40):
I've wondered that because I'm the only one in my family with
Curly. No, I mean like the entire
lineage from your grandpa down. They weren't Shackleford, they
were originally. When my dad was alive before
they got swept overseas. Oh OK, so well.
Both my my dad and my aunt. My dad was born during my
grandpa's first deployment. My aunt was born after he came

(32:03):
back. So like once he was working, I
don't know if he was in the Pentagon yet, but this was when
he was wearing suits to work instead of his uniform.
And he fuck, where was I? Yeah, so I don't know, but I
after all the stuff that I looked up about his unit, it

(32:28):
was. Listener, I'm just giving Rusty
like the goofiest looks when he says some stupid stuff.
And I don't, I don't know the inner workings of how it went
down, but his group, it's weird because I think group is an
official term that's different than unit.

(32:49):
I don't know. No, you could be right.
So you're. Probably saying everything
exactly how you're supposed to, but I'm being stupid on.
Purpose. But from what I could tell, his
unit did attach to SOG on a number of occasions and so I
always thought that was pretty cool.
That is pretty sick. But I there's so much that I
don't know and there's so much about the FOIA process that I

(33:09):
don't understand, and you have to be super specific with what
you want. Yeah, they make so you have to.
Know the information in order toget the information basically.
And I so I'd have to hire like lawyers to do it 'cause I'm
completely useless when it comesto that, when it comes to
government. Paperwork you're gonna have to
get, like, highly specialized lawyers, yeah.
It's not even Yeah, like that would be if I was rich, that

(33:31):
would be one of the first thingsI did is just I want all of my
grandpa's stuff exposed to me. Russell's staff.
Here's the thing. When you are that specialized
and you actually do know how to get information, you're probably
close to those people who don't want the information out.

(33:51):
Yeah. And that's probably also part of
how you got access to the inner workings of it.
It would be cool what would keep.
Them from like intentionally withholding or making it
challenging on you even though they're supposed to serve you
and your interests. The law that says they have to
give it to me if I ask for it. No, you're a lawyer.
Oh, my lawyer. I'm paying all money, and money

(34:12):
is more important to them than their friends, their lawyers.
And if they don't do it, I can get another lawyer that'll sue
them for malpractice. Lawyers.
Do what you want them to do whenyou're paying them.
That's that's pretty the bar. Like a auto mechanic.
They invented the bar, you know,like when you say like it's a

(34:34):
high bar, like it's literally the bar.
They invented that shit. Like the threshold of bad at
their job lawyers is it's a pretty high fresh threshold to
meet because they have to do what you're asking them to do or

(34:59):
they lose their license. Like as long as it's like within
the law. So like if you're at if you're
paying them to do it, they have to either refute they can't fuck
with you on it. And if you find out that they
fucked with you, it's very easy to get them to lose their
license. The good.
Lawyers don't get found out. Why do you think it's like a

(35:20):
common joke that people like I trust them as?
Why should I trust a lawyer? Oh, because yeah, I mean, yes,
but like more often than not, their connections aren't going
to be outweighed by the money that they're making because
their entire career is based on that and their.
Continued career and I wouldn't.Hire a lawyer.
I would hire a guy like John Kirakow or something.

(35:44):
JG Wentworth. Maybe no like the guy that
exposed the torture program backin like early 2000s and then
went to prison for it. Wait, what?
Yeah, he. Did he get the information
illegally? No, he was a case officer.

(36:05):
You just like broadcasted. It so they weren't happy.
What happened was I've seen a few different interviews with
him and basically he do you knowwho fuck this is the Abu
Zubaydah does that, that feels he was like #3 or 4 in Al Qaeda
at the time. He and his team caught Abu

(36:28):
Zubaydah, handed him off to a different group of CIA guys, and
the different group of CIA guys took him to what they call black
sites. He didn't know what the time
where they're going. He could assume, but like his
job was not to know where they were taking him.
Basically, it was very compartmentalized.

(36:49):
He comes home and he's in the cafeteria at Langley and I think
it was at Langley and another guy comes up to that's FBI and.
As a reference to the last episode joke by the way,
listener Oh. I don't remember the joke.
I said Langley last time and you're like, actually it's

(37:11):
Quantico. He's like, OK, Russell.
And he's in line and his a Co worker asks.
He's like, hey Ben, I need to are you interested in learning
about enhanced interrogation? Like getting training on that?
He's like, I don't know what that means.
And he explains it to him and hegoes, I'm pretty sure that's

(37:33):
just torture in, in his words. He goes, I'm like, give me an
hour to think about this, I guess.
And he goes up to the 7th floor,which is like the executive
floor where like all the bosses are basically knocks on the
guy's door and he's like, Hey, do you know what's going on?
Like they, I just got asked to do this thing.

(37:53):
And he goes, the guy, his boss is like, that's torture.
Just so you know, don't if you don't have to, don't because
those guys are going to jail. And then John goes, Funny
enough, I was the only one that went to jail and I didn't.
Do that, damn. But anyway, after he gets out of
the CIA, like he retires and he gets called from a guy like Fox

(38:19):
or something, and he's like, this is so.
And so from Fox News, we got a tip that you took part in
torturing Abu Zubaydah, and we'dlike to have you come on and,
like, talk about that. He's like, I didn't torture him.
I wasn't even there when he was interrogated.

(38:40):
What do you mean? Like, this is crazy.
And then, oh, he earned A reputation at the CIA for being
specifically kept caught being called the human rights guy as
like a slur. So so he's got that over his

(39:01):
head. And then somebody from Fox News
is telling him that somebody told them that he tortured Abu
Zubaydah. And so he's like, that's crazy.
And then it kept coming up at the time Bush was president and
on TV, he Bush kept getting asked questions about torturing.
He's like, we don't torture people.
We don't torture prisoners. We don't torture prisoners.

(39:22):
But then one time he goes, if it's happening, it's like it, it
would be 1 rogue agent. And John saw that on the news
and was like, they're going to pin this on me.
He's like, he just saw all the dominoes start falling.
He's like, they somebody leaked that to this guy saying that I

(39:43):
did the torture. They're going to put all the
torture on me. Fuck it.
And he calls the guy Fox News. He's like, I'll give you your
interview. He goes and I think the
interview is online but or on YouTube, but he goes.
So not only did I not do that, but the CIA does do that.
And from what I can tell, Abu Zubaydah did get tortured.

(40:05):
The entire program is official. It was okayed by this DOJ and
signed by the president the the president right now.
And immediately he gets called like Herb like a week later.
Whatever. He gets called by the FBI and

(40:26):
they're like, hey, we're investigating you for giving out
classified information. And a couple weeks go by, they
send a letter to his lawyer and they're like, we found that
there's nothing to charge him onbecause the information was
technically public. You can't publicize classified
information that everybody already knows.

(40:47):
Basically, is how they say it. Can't leak something, it's
already public. So then the head of the CIA in
Obama gets elected, He gets JohnBrennan to be the head of the
CII think, and John Brennan calls the DOJ and goes I want
John Kiricon in prison. John Brennan's the guy that
wrote the torture program. He's like the Matt, the

(41:09):
godfather of the enhanced interrogation program.
And so Brennan, and they're like, I want you.
He's like, I want you guys to charge him with espionage.
But heck, he didn't do any espionage.
What are you talking about? And then and they find that out

(41:33):
later and John Brennan's like, figure it out, charge him and
make him make him, I think that his exact words were charge him
and make him defend himself in court, which I guess they can
technically do if they can find what is it reasonable suspicion
or just cause to like charge somebody.
It can be like, it's not a very high threshold at that point.

(41:56):
If they can mock something up, it'll ruin your fucking life.
So he at that point is working for John Kerry.
I mean, that's such a smart and evil tactic, yeah.
Like he's not going to be spilling any more beans 'cause
he's going to be so wrapped up in trying to keep his life
together. Yeah, or what's left of his

(42:17):
fucking life together. He's working for John Kerry.
John Kerry was a senator at the time or a congressman, I don't
remember, and he's like an investigator for the Senate.
I don't know exactly what his job was specifically, but while
he was doing that, while he was in that position, he, he goes,
he says like one thing that I did a lot was meet with foreign

(42:39):
dignitaries and I got a call, Japanese guy from the Foreign
Office or whatever wanted to meet for lunch.
We sit down, we start talking very nothing lunch.
We're just talking about policy and stuff.
And at one point he just goes orhe, he had, he said, I had

(43:03):
mentioned that I was getting ready to retire because I wasn't
able to get anything done because John Kerry wanted to be
Secretary of State. So I wasn't really able to
investigate anybody in the administration because he wanted
to be Secretary of State. So I couldn't do anything
because then I'd get his friendsin trouble.
So he's like, I, I gave him two years.
I'm ready to get out. I just, I need to figure out how

(43:24):
I'm going to make money. And the Japanese guy goes, if
you give me information, I can give you money.
And John's like, what the fuck is wrong with you?
I did that. What you just did, I used to do
for a living. Fuck you, guy.
So he immediately goes back to his office, to the security at

(43:45):
the Senate. And it was like, hey, this
happened. This guy just tried to flip me
for information and they're like, OK, write a report, we'll
get it to the FBIFBI will get incontact with you.
FBI ends up wanting him to meet with this guy a whole bunch of
times to build a case and they he meets them a bunch of times.

(44:10):
Then the guy ends up getting a different job as like the
ambassador to like Egypt or something.
And so they never see him again.And that just kind of like
nothing comes from them. A couple years later, he gets,
he's out of John Kerry. He's, I don't know what he's
doing at the time, but he gets acall from the FBI again, or

(44:33):
maybe from his lawyer. Either way, basically the FBI is
wanting him to come. They're like, do you remember
working with us on that thing? Can you meet with us again?
Because we're wanting to. We're we're wanting your help on
another thing. He's like, OK, so he goes down
and meets with them. They sit him down and it's
immediately they're interrogating him.

(44:54):
So they just tricked him into coming in.
They're interrogating him for what they do is accuse him of
leaking information to the Guantanamo Bay prisoners

(45:14):
attorneys. So like KSM and I, I think he's
really the only big one I know that was there at the time
Khalid Sheikh Mohammed, which islike #2 in al Qaeda.
I think he's still alive. I think he like he's trying to,
he's still trying to appeal, I think.

(45:35):
But he should be executed. There's no information that he
has now. We should just take more.
But, and let me be clear, everybody in Al Qaeda IA 100% am
OK with being tortured, just so you know, you know.
Where Russell stands, like what side of the fence he's firmly

(45:56):
standing. I'm very, I want to make this
very clear. I don't care that they were
being tortured. I don't think they were being
tortured enough basically. Now what I will say is I don't
think torture gets results. And with Abu Zubaydah, like what
John said is they didn't CIA didn't get anything.

(46:18):
And since this was technically 911 was an open case with the
FBI, the FBI had like interrogation rights even
overseas. And so they would bring in he
goes. The only thing, the only good
thing I have to say about the FBI is they are the the best
interrogators. They know exactly what they're
doing and they send a guy over and he just is nice to Abu

(46:39):
Zubaydah, starts getting information, good information.
And then the CIA requests to take over and they kick the FBI
out of the fucking country and then they torture Khalid or they
torture Abu Zaida for like 6 months.
He completely shuts down, doesn't they don't, he doesn't
give him any information. And then the FBI takes over and
he starts giving information again because they're

(47:01):
interrogating him and not just torturing him.
He goes the torture method doesn't work.
I'm like, it works for what I want it for though, which is
punishment. And when you kill 3004 thousand
5000 people, I want you to feel that.
I want you to feel the pain thatall those people felt.
And their families? Yeah, and their friends.
Yeah, I don't think we should betrying to get information out of

(47:22):
them if we're torturing them. I think.
I think we should get all the information out of them and then
tell them we're going to send them home and then light them on
fire. And then.
Yeah. And you sent them home?
Yeah. Anyway, that out of the way, so
he meets with them and they're interrogating him.
He's like, I want my, you're interrogating.

(47:43):
He figures out they're interrogating him and he's like,
I want my lawyer. Basically.
He I don't remember exactly how it happened.
I think it had to do with some stuff that was in his book that
he wrote that was cleared by theDOJ or the Department of Defense

(48:04):
at the time. Now the Department of War, which
is fucking based and cool. Isn't that what it was just
originally called? Yeah, they changed it 'cause
they wanted to be boring and nowwe're cool again.
Nice. But the I don't he might have
but like his case is pretty solid.

(48:25):
But the the problem was is only two people have been tried for
this or had been not convicted, charged with this specific crime
and the other person played out.So there's no case law.
So he didn't like there was no like procedure at how to charge.

(48:46):
Yeah, there's no precedent established.
Yeah, and so his lawyers are like, and they were wanting to
put away for 45 fucking years. And that was his plea deal.
It was going to be 40. Five in prison.
Yeah, great. And this is 2012, I think
anyway, it goes on, it goes on, it goes on.
He finally caves and I think he gets like 2 1/2 years or

(49:08):
something and he gets out of prison and then immediately,
immediately starts working for Sputnik, the Russian news
channel. But I, I don't think it's
because he, he might have ties to Russia.
But I think his, I say all that to say he'd be a guy I would
want to get in touch with to getinformation about my grandpa

(49:29):
because he would know how to getit.
I wouldn't hire just I think. He was just in a no, you know,
no, that's true because he was in the system.
He was in the system. Not only was he in the system,
he was the assistant to the deputy director of the CIA for a
while. OK, Yeah, he would.
So, like, he knows. He knows how to.

(49:49):
He knows all that stuff. What to ask for?
How to? Ask Yeah, he was headed like the
the the grease desk, which is not like a crazy thing, but
apparently like we had more liketerrorists in Greece and I just
at the at the time that he was there than anywhere else in the

(50:11):
world. So Greece hates America?
At the time, the president said the president of Greece had
said, like, basically made a deal with these different
organizations, like just don't kill Greek people, but everybody
else is fine. Or he didn't say but everybody
else was fine. But it was like.
I knew I didn't trust Danny Zuko.
So yeah, Danny Zuko. You're the one that I want.

(50:39):
Oh, I don't trust them because they're AIDS.
Does he have AIDS? He's.
Gotta have AIDS, Yeah. Does Charlie Sheen have AIDS?
He seems fine. No, he definitely, yeah.
Have you not seen a recent picture of him?

(51:00):
Yeah, he was just on Rogan can. You pull that up because I don't
I don't think he looks great at all.
I'm. Going to close some of these
tabs. The computer's not liking this
Charlie Sheen. Also, people, quit naming your

(51:22):
baby girls Charlie. It's not appropriate.
Let's see Rogan, 'cause this is like he, he was on Rogan the day
that Charlie Kirk was shot. Like they were doing the
interview when it happened. So this is how recent it was.

(51:43):
He looks fine. I don't trust that he's 100%
sober because he's played this song before.
Yeah, but it was interesting, hesaid.
What got him sober this time washis daughter wanted to go to
like. Disneyland OR.
Something he'd go shopping or something and he was too drunk

(52:04):
to take her. And so they were sitting in the
back of a car that he hired and was like, this is I can't even
drive my daughter to the store. And so I went home and I had a
drink and the next morning I wasdone.
Who was the home girl that he was dating?
I don't know a whole lot about him.

(52:24):
I don't know, I haven't even watched that full episode, I
just saw clips of it. Some brunette chick.
Oh my God this didn't bother thefuck out of me.
I want to know if she has HIV now.
Relationships. Denise Richards.

(52:48):
Her. Yeah, God, she's hot.
She's got to have like HIV though.
Is she in? I think she's in Blue Mountain
State. I don't know.
I do not know. Can you type in Denise Richards
HIV? Yeah, This is what everyone

(53:13):
really needs to know. Denise Richards Hive.
I don't want the image of that former wife.
Is. Not HIV positive.
Was upset with Charlie or with ex Charlie Sheen for publicly
sharing his HIV diagnosis without telling, without their

(53:37):
daughters first. OK.
So I think he contracted HIV after they were divorced.
I like how that was actually published on April Fool's Day.
Just kidding. Yeah, I don't know.
I never watched 2 1/2 Men or anything.

(53:57):
I like that someone like look atthe suggested questions.
They said can an HIV positive man marry an HIV negative woman?
Yeah, I guess. It's.
Should they? Probably not Magic Johnson had
HIV. You got that, Magic Johnson, and
the only spell that that Johnsonknows is evada cadaver.

(54:25):
Did Magic Johnson ever play for the Wizards?
Yeah, I think exclusively he played for the Wizards, didn't
he? His Wizards?
What? Oh, that smelled rough.
Yeah, it's not good man. Magic Johnson.

(54:45):
Let's see, I could have sworn. Yeah, he played for the No, the
Wizards aren't A-Team. It's the magic, right?
I'm sure that's also a team. I don't like fucking care about
basketball at all so. No, that's fine.
I just want you to type in the word wizard behind the search.
Oh no, I won't do that. Magic Wizard Johnson, I just.

(55:10):
Wanted to see what teams he played for.
Wikipedia sucks. Teams.
Yeah, Lakers. Is it just that he owns the

(55:31):
Lakers or? Wait, he owns the Lakers?
What team? OK, Lakers.
Yeah, I guess it was just the Lakers.
Huh, missed opportunity. Orlando Magic, that's another
team that he didn't. He didn't play for them though.

(55:52):
Right, but that is also just a separate which one are the
Wizards? So Orlando has Magic.
NB No NBA Wizards, that's not anNBA team.
It's not. What do you mean?
It's. Chicago Packers What?

(56:22):
They don't exist anymore. The Wizards versus the Knicks I
thought was something I remembered seeing.
Wizards have played in 2017. What do you mean NBA Finals?
It's a the Wizards are definitely a team.
I don't believe you. You don't have to.
Why would we have the? Wizards and the.
The magic Why would we have the Suns and also the heats?

(56:46):
Here's what I don't understand. OK.
Who the fuck's naming these teams?
In the 60s they were the ChicagoPackers.
Then they were Chicago Zephyrs and, and then they just
completely changed their name when they moved to Baltimore and
they became the Baltimore Bullets.
And then I assumed they went to DC for and they became the DC

(57:06):
Bullets and then they went to regular Washington and we're the
Washington Bullets. And then they just decided we're
the Wizards now. Why do you get to do that?
They got tired of being called Packers.
Yeah, I mean, Wisconsin does not.
That's it's crazy to. It's crazy that when the Packers
were a thing to begin with, nobody went.
This is going to be weird later because it's weird now,

(57:32):
especially since we're talking about packing meat.
There's literally meat Packers. What are you talking about?
Come on, get. It together guys.
Oh, they didn't move from? OK, you can't call yourself the

(57:54):
Washington Wizards and be from Washington DC that that's not
fair. That's not fair.
It should be the District of Columbia cock.
Suckers. Well, they're too close to
Oregon and California, so. Washington, DC is nowhere near
orgasm. No, no, no, I'm saying that.
California. Thank God, because that sounds

(58:18):
like a realm of hell. No, they're too close to the
potheads and stuff, so they're like a lazy people naturally.
Oh. Fuck, I got a giant pimple on my
arm. What's that?
It looks like a fucking booger. Stop, stop.
It's. A family.
You just flicked it on the board, you monster.

(58:40):
You're going to have to take that apart again.
We funny? Yeah, I fucking hate basketball
so. Yeah, their names are dumb.
I don't the names are not but I mean what?
Naming things and then moving and then being the same team

(59:00):
somehow. But it doesn't make sense to me.
Because you purchase it as a package deal, but then you're.
Not the same team because you have a different owner and a
different name and eventually completely different people.
Yeah. So why does your Wikipedia page
say you were one thing and now you're another thing?
This is trans ideology and I don't like it.

(59:22):
Identify as a wizard. Now identify as a fucking
bullet. Because the LA Dodgers used to
be here, right? Brooklyn.
Yeah, they that's right, becausewhy do we have the Dodgers?
The Dodgers had like a farm team, is what they.
Call Yeah, we're the theatre team for the LA Dodgers.

(59:44):
But didn't they used to be here?Maybe my I had a couple family
members that played for them so I.
I looked this up before and I forgot 'cause this has always
bugged me that you can just likemy entire concept of teams and
professional sports is you're from a place.

(01:00:04):
Yeah, So when I found out that. Brett Favre was from
Mississippi. It blew my mind because he was
Wisconsin guy. He was literally like Captain
America, but for Wisconsin. Yes, when I was growing up, if
you don't know who Brett Favre is, he was the quarterback for
the for the, for the Green Bay Butt Packers and, and he was

(01:00:29):
really good until he wasn't and he retired and he came back and
he retired. He came back, I think, and he
played for The Jets, I think. I think as a Packer quarterback
you're supposed to be really good and then retire and then
play for The Jets and suck and then retire 'cause that's what
Aaron Rodgers did, too. I don't know if he's retired.
I don't pay attention to professional sports anyway.

(01:00:52):
Except for wiffle ball. I did briefly.
I did for a little bit, really like Wiffle Ball, but Twitch
sucks and so I just stopped watching.
But it was good. It was good.
You know what I hate? The Savannah bananas.
Why? I don't like it, it's weird.

(01:01:14):
They're fucking cool as shit. They're.
Weird. Yeah, it's not baseball.
I don't even like baseball, but that's not baseball.
They're baseball adjacent. No, well, they're not.
I don't even know how they do they're.
Closer to baseball than fucking cricket.
Is it kind of like where they play the it's like the like the
the Globetrotters where they winevery time?
No, they still can lose. Are they in a league or are they

(01:01:37):
playing against the NFL team right?
They would get destroyed againstthe NFL team.
All right, all right, so pull upthat on a different tab 'cause
we need to find out where Brooklyn Dodgers are from.
So on a different tab. No, because you're going to get
distracted. I'm going to fucking forget.
OK, SA vanna banana vanna leagueban.

(01:02:03):
There's a whole song about how to spell this too, Ana.
Oh damn it, League. Yeah, you need to find out.
What I think they're in a leagueof their own.
He said a joke. OK.

(01:02:24):
OK, so no. They they started.
They started in Brooklyn as the Grays, so I I could have sworn
we had a team now at one point. We had the red docks.
Isn't that Missouri MLB? Minor League Baseball and Major

(01:02:47):
League Baseball have the same actor.
No minor league is M lowercase I.
OK, just more work. But I do need to spell it out
'cause it's not Major League team.

(01:03:08):
Comets. No, they're a minor league team.
Yeah, we don't have any, no. Like we used to though.
No, we didn't. Old I could have sworn we had
one Oklahoma City Indians. Yeah, it's not Major League,

(01:03:32):
though. Shut your fuck.
You're just wrong again, Russell, I'm quit being wrong.
I I don't want you to keep talking.
But I have to. It's my job right now.
Oklahoma. You know what?
And. Then they said red ox.
Yeah, dude, you just got zooted from another dimension and

(01:03:54):
dropped here. We've already established this
in your. Reality, yes, that was probably
I'm I'm fine with saying that I was wrong, but it like I was
doing research on the Dodgers atone point 'cause I was like, why
are the why is their minor league team here?
Because although Timber Rattlers, I think they feed the

(01:04:15):
Brewers. Pro team, Timber Rattlers,
Windows League. Yeah, so they feel.

(01:04:36):
So it was my understanding that like wherever the the Major
League team, the minor league team is there too to feed them.
Because in Wisconsin we had the Brewers and the Timber Rattlers
fed the Brewers. But which Timber?
Timber Rattler games were way cooler than Brewers games, by
the way, Because they wear cooler uniforms.

(01:04:58):
White and blue is gay and grey and red is kind of cool.
Like red is the superior team for a ball club, I will give you
that. But right now, we're repping
white and blue. So I'm being calmed down.
What do they even get paid to bein a minor league team?

(01:05:19):
I don't think they get paid verymuch.
Also, they're fucking cool. They're the Brewers is a a
fucking baseball Mitt. Everybody in baseball, we know
what they look like. That's not cool.
Also, Brewers has nothing to do with a baseball Mitt.
It should be a keg of beer. True.
The Timber Rattlers have a snakewith bats.

(01:05:42):
Yeah, that's way. Cooler the snake is the skull
and the crossbow. Yeah, I like that.
I like that. Also, they're the rats.
T rats. Why can't we just name them like
swamp monsters? I don't know or the Draculas, I

(01:06:03):
don't know. I also never understood.
So because I, I guess because I came from Wisconsin, both of our
pro teams, because I don't pay 100 basketball.
So our both of our pro teams, I mean the Packers and the
Brewers, the stadium for the Packers was named after one of

(01:06:23):
their coaches, Lambeau, I think a guy that was like affiliated
with the Packers. And then the Brewers played in
Miller Park. So it's like, OK, and you go
down to Chicago and the Bears play in Soldier Field or
something. Yeah.
I'm like that has nothing to do with the only soldier bear I

(01:06:45):
know was from Poland. The the bear that was a soldier
in Poland in World War 2 That has nothing to do with Chicago.
What's happening? And maybe I'm wrong and it's the
Cubs but it's the same animal sogo fuck yourself in the mouth.
Same animal. OK, same animal.
Soldier Field. It doesn't make sense either.

(01:07:07):
Way. Yeah, I'm behind you on that
one. That's and I think the White Sox
do play in Cum Stadium. So but like but like and then
and then all of a sudden like the Chargers or something or the
Rams somebody they're Californiahas like 6 NFL teams for some

(01:07:31):
reason where I'm from you only get one.
Yeah, they're being greedy. Over there.
But because when where I grew up, the Rams were from Saint
Louis. OK, Anyway, they have like Sofi
Stadium and then like in Texas, there's the HEB Center, which I

(01:07:54):
think is where bags. And then we have the Paycom
center here. Yeah, that's so wait, that's
pretty capitalist and cool, actually.
Yeah, I. Was about to say like where's
the problem? I just know.
Miller Stadium was named after fucking beer.
That's fucking sick. Yeah, but like with that, it has
like I didn't ever associate it with Miller because I'm like
Brewers, Miller beer. It's they're all connected.

(01:08:17):
I thought you had to name your stadium after something about
your team, but then I realized the team changes.
Why are we called the Thunder when we have tornadoes?
And why is the mascot a Buffalo?You're asking the questions I've
been asking for 30 years. I had a hat that looked exactly

(01:08:42):
like this. It wouldn't fit me no more
though. Cool hat.
Nice, nice. It's out of stock. 50 bucks.
It's that cool of a hat. I will admit, though, I really
want a Dodgers jersey. My wife and I went to a Dodgers

(01:09:02):
game. This is the MILB.
The Milb? Yeah, Dodgers.
Basically this thing. Not the DILF Dodgers.
Yeah, it's basically the same thing.
It's just guys with big butts running around with sticks.
It's pretty gay. They do the fucking cool thing
when they twirl the bat. Yeah, they throw it on the

(01:09:23):
ground and like hits and then flips backwards the opposite way
and they catch it like nothing happened.
But if I did it, it would just break on the ground because of
my luck, not because of my strength.
No, it's because you're a fucking man.
Russell's like, goddamn man. Every time I go to a baseball
game I see the jerseys and they're button up and I'm like,
first of all, it's not a sport if you're wearing a fancy shirt.

(01:09:44):
Yeah, they're just dapper boys out there freaking out.
That's a pretty cool fucking look and I want one.
Out there slapping. Ass I want one and then I want
one of those bracelets that's just a a shoe or one of those
necklaces. It's just a shoelace with like a
grommet on it that kids used to wear.
And then I want a flat brimmed hat.
That you get to like, shape whenyou're bored and just fucking
around. Yeah, but then you straighten it

(01:10:05):
out. Yeah, like I want to be a
wigger. I really, I always wanted to be
1, but I hate rap. I don't think you have to like
buy people to be a wigger. I feel like you actually have to
hate them. So I'm good there.
But like I just want to dress like 1.

(01:10:29):
That's fine. But baseball's cool.
But only because they hit thingssometimes.
Sometimes. Like the most boring game it is.
The most boring game is the highest level that you can play
the game, which is a problem. Well, it's the highest level.
One of them is one team is playing.
Yeah, I like it. I like it a lot more when

(01:10:53):
there's black guys hitting when other than white, 'cause I went
to a few Brewers games, dude. It's about the Dominican
Republican. Every.
Well, they're black in my book, unless they're like the
Dominican guy that I went to school with.
There was nothing black about him but his skin, and he had a
German mother. So come on, folks.
So, but like every time the black guys hit the ball, it went

(01:11:18):
a lot farther. I don't know what that means.
You know what that means, but I think.
There's something there. Means he got big shoes.
I've been to, I've only been to like for NFL.
I've only been to Lambeau Field.So it sucks.

(01:11:39):
I I get it. You can take pride in not having
a roof. That's like having.
It's a. Weird thing to be proud of, but.
That's like going on the ocean in a dinghy when you could have
had a yacht. Like somebody's like here you
can have this yacht and you go, but I want to use a dinghy and
then everybody should think I'm cool 'cause I'm on the dinghy.

(01:12:00):
We, the rest of the world, thinkyou're dumb.
And you're trying to invite people on the dinghy and they're
like on the I was like, no, I think I'm fine over here,
actually. Especially when it's the coldest
time of the year. I can move over for you.
There's like, plenty of room forlike, one more like Nah Nah.
Yeah, I like, I'm sure the history of the Packers stadium

(01:12:22):
is real cool. I'm I'm sure I always liked
being in there. I thought it was cool, but I'm
positive I never went to SoldierField when it was.
I never went to the one that theBears playing.
Like while there were people there.
I did tour it. Like we went around it when I
was in Chicago one time. But it was a better stadium I

(01:12:44):
think. I don't remember too much, but
Lambeau Field sucks. It's so small and boring.
I see these other fields on TV and they're so they're so much
better. You.

(01:13:08):
Figured out guys. There's literally, there was
literally one called the Superdome because it was so big
and cool. Yeah, and they had a ceiling on
it. Well, they did for a little bit,
and then it got snowed on too hard one time and it collapsed.
Still, imagine if that thing wasn't there, snow would have
been on them. Yeah.
From the beginning. But so I I've never really been

(01:13:34):
to like a good NFL game. I will say Dodger Stadium from
what I remember is way better than Miller Park, although
Miller Park does have a big slide that the mascot goes down
every time somebody hits a home run, which is cool.
No, the ballpark is like fuckinghuge for Oklahoma.

(01:13:56):
Yeah, I it is. It is smaller than Miller Park
but I think it's more high pack like it's newer I think.
Yeah, and but they just pop money into it because they keep
getting money out. Oh.
Because we don't have anything else.
We have the Thunder and I guess people think they're cool.
I really, I really am more just mad that we did basketball

(01:14:17):
instead of any other sport. You know why this is the South?
I mean, I've made a case that it's not, but everybody here
thinks it is and they act like it is.
I told that point. And then and then and then we
go. But black people are fast and
bounce the balls. What happened to like in not

(01:14:38):
What happened to white sports? I thought this was the South?
You know, it's crazy Big Bozo atthe clown car factory.
The sport he played was basketball and he looks like the
opposite person. Bozo.
Yeah, Redhead Sasquatch. Oh yeah, yeah, that blows my
mind. Yes, but it's like, how are you
fucking remotely interested in basketball?

(01:15:00):
I get you're tall. Did you hear what happened to
redheaded retarded guy? No, he went home today and he's
going to be gone for a while. He got a certain chemical in his
eyes. Well, he was.
He got the clown juice in his eyes, yeah.
He's wearing glasses too, but hewent to the the.
Eye wash. The eye wash.

(01:15:20):
Station. And it still wasn't like it was
still flowering. Yeah.
So he had to go to the comp clinic area and they were like,
you got to see an ophthalmologist before you can
come back to work. He can't afford to miss this
time. That's what he said.
He called the guy. He called the guy who because
he's like, I can't schedule it, they have to schedule it.

(01:15:42):
I'm fucked. And he's like, so I called the
guy that schedules it. I'm like, you got to get me in
there like now. And he goes.
It'll be today or tomorrow, tomorrow, Saturday.
Fuck, fuck, we lost one of our good clowns.

(01:16:03):
He reliable by way of he's always there.
Yeah, but just not like. Not he's not even in spirit,
just kind of physically, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He's the muscle anyway. Yeah, I'm always upset.
Why'd we choose basketball? I hate basketball.

(01:16:25):
I was bred to hate basketball. Wrestled.
And basketball's gay. Like if wrestling.
I rest my case actually. If wrestling didn't look so gay
I think it'd be more popular. But like there are.
Several. I don't know what that has to do
with anything but. I'm saying that it could be you
could reach a televised status. I rested my case.

(01:16:49):
End of conversation. I don't understand.
No, it was. There was always like animosity
between the wrestlers and the basketball players.
Mostly just we didn't like them.We didn't like the basketball
guys. They.
Didn't they were just existing? Yeah, they didn't know we were
there because like nobody came to our meets.
I think that's where it came from.

(01:17:09):
And we were, our seasons took place at the same time and so
like. They had better marketing and it
was a problem. Yeah, Yep.
Wrestling needs better PR. First thing I'm going to do is
get rid of the fucking unitards.No.
Well, as long as we do like a rash guard.
I'm going to make them wear a fucking ghee.

(01:17:31):
That's a meeting going to increase.
That clothes is illegal. I would do a rash guard like for
like they do in MMA. You're ruining my joke.
I'm trying to slowly turn it into Brazilian Jiu Jitsu.
But we also you're allowed to stand up and punch, no?
OK, so the thing about I don't know a whole lot about Greco

(01:17:51):
Roman, which is what they do in the Olympics and I think most
politics. Yours is based off of.
It's all based off all wrestlingis based off of Greco.
That was the first run. But I think.
But we were folks style though. No, that's just.
Pushing Turkish blood wrestling.It's definitely based off of
Greco Rd. But we were folk style and so I

(01:18:15):
don't know the rules. The other kind, but what?
The hell is folk style I. Don't know 100% know what
differentiates it. There is certain things that are
illegal in ours that aren't illegal in others, and one of
them is your hands can't touch when you're grabbing somebody if
you guys are on the ground, which is like a big thing.
It's like, OK, I'm retarded, canyou say that one more time?

(01:18:37):
Your hands cannot touch when you're on the ground.
It's the only time if I have youlike.
So you got me in guard or something?
Well, that would never happen. No, because it's wrestling if I
have so I can bear hug you rightif we're standing up.
But as soon as we're in a prone like position, if my hands are

(01:18:57):
touching and they're like. Your own hands cannot touch.
Yeah, I can't. Once we're on the ground, I
can't touch my hands together while they're like grappling
with you. That's considered locked hands.
And like, that's a huge difference between like almost
all of jiu jitsu is impossible in wrestling.
Because what to say? Like that's primarily what I
would do. Exactly.
And so it's like it's, it's not.I wouldn't say it's more

(01:19:21):
technical. It's a completely different
technique. Yeah, you the different tools
that you'd use entirely. You're like entirely using the
other person's body once you getto the ground, which is why.
I yeah, I get rid of that. Yeah.
So that's why you can't turn it into.
That's why. I'd have a butt hole penalty we
didn't issue. We would establish the brown

(01:19:43):
card. Yeah, I mean, you don't.
Lose points for it, but you losepride.
There's certain limits that thatthey don't like slamming.
You have to have control of descent to the ground, so you
can't throw them on the ground. If you let go of the person
before they hit the ground, that's illegal.
You have to have. Control of the body, Just guide

(01:20:04):
them to the ground. Yeah, I like that aspect because
it's like total domination. Like when you do that to
someone, there was nothing they could do.
I don't think there's necessarily like a positive of
letting go of them either like so, but there are certain things
that you can't do in an arm bar,which is different than in an

(01:20:30):
arm bar, and wrestling is different than in jiu jitsu.
An arm bar is the arm across theback like this.
You cannot bring the elbow like you can't bring the arm.
The. Wrist between the shoulder
blades. It can't come up past like a 90
or something like that because you're risking breaking and
stuff like that. Like there's certain things that

(01:20:50):
I'm like, if we were to do a professional version of it, I
would get rid of kind of like the the way Joe Rogan explains
elbows in and why certain elbowsare illegal in in the UFC.
That just shouldn't be doing a 90 or doing a 12 to 6 is illegal

(01:21:14):
in the UFC. And he's like, there's no power
here compared to this. Yeah.
And this is perfectly fine, but for some reason this is illegal
because it looked worse. And there's a lot of that in
wrestling, like in high school wrestling that I would get rid
of. So like I'd bring back the full
Nelson that didn't used to be illegal.

(01:21:40):
It like was one way to get around the locked hands rule was
you could put somebody in a fullNelson, but too many people were
getting hurt. It also you don't have.
Wife. You can't really.
Also, it's fucking wrestling. You're going to get hurt.
That's part of it. You can't really get somebody to
their back from a full Nelson. Like you would have to at some
point be in 1/2 to get them. So like there's not you can

(01:22:02):
control them for a second, but you're going to get called for
stalling. That's one thing I hate about
professional MMA is the constantstalling in wrestling.
If you guys aren't moving for more than like a second, you
both get penalized or whoever's in control gets penalized and at
a certain point it starts racking up points for the other

(01:22:24):
guy. It's it's stupid, like the
amount of I want them to get ridof the Octagon or the the fence.
It was like a cool idea and theysometimes can use it well, but
most of the time it's just two guys making out on a fucking
chain link fence for like a a solid minute.
And the only, the only reason that they don't call it is

(01:22:45):
because one of them, like, movestheir hand.
Yeah, like every few seconds. Like, that's crazy to me.
Yeah. So much nothing happens in those
fights that in wrestling would have gotten the match completely
disqualified. Like, Karate Combat had a good
solution for that 'cause they have that dish.
They have that big, big square dish, right?
Yeah. And there's like a 45° angle.

(01:23:08):
And so the spectators are like, forced to stay out of that.
Yeah. So they have full, you know,
command of the arena. They can control it.
You can push someone back and then it throws them off balance.
Like when they start backing offtoo much from the combat,
they're literally gonna trip because they're trying to walk
up a 45° angle. It forces them to stay engaged

(01:23:31):
in the action. It's nice.
It's a, it's a good system. And I think the Octagon just,
they push that so hard 'cause that was what differentiated
them from like Pride and other stuff back in the days.
Like we fight in two squares that are intersecting each
other, which the oh dude. And it sounded fucking cool.
And I get that. But now since it's tied to UFC,

(01:23:54):
which is the biggest MMA distribution ever.
They should be in a bounce house.
No, you need footing to generateforce.
OK, the walls can be bouncy. Now it's just wrestling.
So you have the canvas mat. That's boxing.
You have the canvas mat like in the Octagon, but instead of the

(01:24:17):
fence it's just balloons like bouncy or like spikes.
OK, OK. So you can use it if you are
technical about it and you can like get a position on to push
off from between the spikes, butthere's no stalling against it.

(01:24:37):
We should actually have them fight on a bridge and have the
spikes underneath them. And put a gun in the middle.
For so did the gun. Has a pretty clear advantage.
There's a or over. A VAT of clown juice.
There's AI, can't remember whereit is, but there's a
professional or semi professional sport where they

(01:24:57):
they put a a gun. I think maybe it has SIM rounds
in it. It might just be a paintball
gun. I've seen.
That and they put them in a car,right, Karjitsu?
No different. You're like tanking together.
Yeah. So there's one where it's first
one of the gun wins. Yeah, but like they do.
It's no, they have to like discharge, yeah.
They have to pull the trigger. Yeah.

(01:25:19):
Yeah, and they fight over the gun and then there's the other
one where they both start in thecar.
Buckled. In buckled in.
That's cool. That's one cool.
I love that 'cause it's so practical.
Yeah, that's just like actual usable skills.
Both of those are fun because they're usable skills.
The night fighting is armored MMA.
It's so. Cool.
It's just interesting. It's not practical.

(01:25:42):
It's so like, 'cause the stuff to do with the Ren fair is like
with like cute, like giant Q-tips, you know?
Yep. This.
This is real shit. It's awesome.
People getting cut up by their own fucking armor 'cause they
didn't fit it right. Yeah, or someone kicked him in
the chest so hard to spun it andsaw their uncomfortable breasts
of the fight. Yeah, it's.
Cool. But I I think the fight

(01:26:03):
Commission should be decommissioned.
I It's just so like the UFC became way too organized, like
it's a completely different thing than it was at the
beginning. Oh yeah, you watched the other
one. There weren't even fucking
weight classes. Well, I mean there there are
some things that they that like weight classes.

(01:26:26):
Why Gracie fucking stomp people that were three times his size?
Because fucking cool. Well.
When you when the Gracies got into the UFC, it completely
changed the sport. But yeah, because it's which is
fine, but like there's certain things that are that.
So first of all, no gloves. Yeah, it should hurt when you

(01:26:47):
hit and it should hurt when you get hit.
Yeah. And.
There's a way to do it effectively.
Fucking Boss Rutan is a beautiful example of it.
Like the his last fights that hefought professionally, you
finally saw them like mandate gloves.
But he was over there fucking palm striking people.
And when he palm struck people, he was busting noses, popping
temples, breaking jaws with his fucking palm.

(01:27:09):
You should be like at risk of dying in there more than you are
right now. It feels too safe.
Like nobody goes. I'm not like trying to say that
these guys are pussies at all, but like.
He'd say it if he was stronger though, no?
That's not the point I'm trying to get across.
It just feels like it's not the ultimate Fight Club anymore.

(01:27:30):
True, You know what I mean? I do.
Not that I was really paying attention back in the day
either, but what? Weird.
Little babies, yeah. My dad called it the gay
underwear people whenever we come because it was just two
guys in boxers, like hogging on the ground and we'd just be
flipping through like we'd just be trying to find somebody.
He's like, what is that? But just no gloves.

(01:27:59):
I think really the only things that should be illegal is like.
Rusty's not a condom, man. That's the word is like eye
gouging, like I shouldn't be able to stick my thumbs in your
eyes. But other than that it should be
just fair game I guess. I would make the the slippery
slope argument. It's like where does it stop?
Where does it fucking stop? First you take away my out eye

(01:28:21):
gouging, now I can't punch him in the fucking chest.
What is this? But like, yeah, I just should be
like, we should make, hear me out the Ultimate Combat
Association. Federation.
Yeah, the UCF. Yeah, you know, the Federation

(01:28:44):
of Ultimate Combat. Yeah, the FCU.
The FCU. Yeah, there you go.
Now you got it. And and, and, and in this one,
it's just like the UFC, but there's no rummels and.
Yeah, you're required to be on steroids.

(01:29:07):
Yeah, that's for your safety. That's one thing is like, there
should be no reason that I can'tthat that these guys can't do
steroids. Yeah, if you're a better fighter
then you would have beaten with technique.
Steroids shouldn't matter. We should have a football.
We should have football with steroids.
I think they tried that with like ex FC.
No, it was just there were loosened rules.

(01:29:28):
I'm saying you have to be on steroids to play in this league.
I like that. And it's just orcs, actually.
No, this is the Urukai. I mean, just White Hand to
Sauron, just running it. Yeah.

(01:29:49):
It's beefy lacrosse. Just give him sticks.
They go on roids, take all theirpads away.
Yeah, yeah, actually this there is a good argument to say that
football has gotten more dangerous the more pads we give
them. 'Cause there's no like you don't
feel like you're. Yeah, you're hitting them
harder. Fuck yeah dude, I watched

(01:30:10):
someone get like snatched out ofthe fucking air, laying on his
fucking neck. Oh, out of the air.
He like got hit low, which you're not supposed to do that
in football anyway. And he knew he was coming low.
So the person with the ball jumped up in the fucking air,
clipped his leg a little bit. So he's somewhat inverted.

(01:30:31):
Next guy catches him in the mid air, right in the side, fucking
throws his fucking neck into theground, throws his neck.
He's wearing pads, he's wearing a helmet.
You know how much force you haveto generate to get contact on
with your neck onto the ground? It's awesome.
Dude gets off and walks it off. It's like I wish that I was half

(01:30:52):
as tough as. You, I think.
I'd be laying there for a minute.
I'd be like fuck, I need to takea second.
So next year on the 4th, they'redoing the UFC on the White
House. Cool.
Which is. That's probably one of the
coolest things that we should bedoing right now.
That's what we need to be focused on.

(01:31:14):
That's a good use of. Government resources, I like it
side, but I do see why people don't like it.
Or I I should say there is an argument to be made about why it
could be disliked. The arguments I'm hearing aren't
good because they're just, well,Trump is, you know, Trump.
Whereas I'm more of like a respectfulness of the area.

(01:31:36):
Of the office. Well, of the Grant, like just
it's kind of circusy. It could be seen.
I I wouldn't fault you for seeing it as a mockery.
I mean, in Mortal Kombat they fight in front of Shao Khan's.
Throne it's extremely anime. It's the most like.

(01:31:58):
What should happen is we've donean episode called Fight
President. The guy that wins should be the
president. I mean, he's going to stop him.
The president. If he can.
He's got SEAL Team 6, he can. He's got the National Guard, has

(01:32:22):
a Special forces, so they have adomestic.
Spec OPS team. Yeah, Black Ops team.
I actually don't know about that, but I do know there is
like special forces in the National Guard.
You don't know how I know that because that's what Tim Kennedy

(01:32:45):
did. That's what he's in.
He's in National Guard or reserves or something, but like,
he's not. Do you think the reserves jar
their own produce? You mean the preserver?

(01:33:05):
Yeah, the Army. It makes the Army preserves.
The Army preserves. Like the but they sell it door
to door like the Girl Scouts. Do the Girl Scouts.
They used to. Oh, you.
Know. Why these cookies?
Fuck. Yes, I do.
Get out my face. I think just call them scouts.
Well, I think Girl Scouts of America still exists by itself.

(01:33:27):
That's not fair. Boy Scouts doesn't.
That's not fucking. Fair.
It is fair if you think of the the power inequality of men and
women. It's called equity.
We should all start from the exact same point.
We do from a ball sack. But if you don't have a leg or

(01:33:52):
your skin's a different color, you should be able to start with
a gun. And I start with nothing.
And that's that. That way with some, you know,
kind of trans math, we're equal.Trans.

(01:34:15):
I think that's what trigonometryis.
Is like you were trying to add, multiply and divide.
How to take my Dick away from me, right?
Triggeredonometry. I feel so bad for poor people
with dyslexia. You try to read that word for
the first time. You know what I don't like
calculus. I don't like that.

(01:34:36):
That's like an extra top tier class.
I use a calculator all the time folks.
Gross. I like to pee.
I love you guys. Bye.

(01:35:24):
Music.

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