Ep. 122: David Hasselhoff

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
You are now entering the prism. We're fucking back.
You're not even in coming through.
Fuck you. What the hell is happening?

(00:23):
Why can't? Why can't I?
Oh yeah. What the?
Why could I hear you? I don't know.
That's really annoying that I could.
Hear you, Russell, you have to retell my joke.
Testicle implies the existence of quizzical.
Yep. OK, close enough.
It was definitely a joke that you said.
Well, it was something you said that was out loud and everybody

(00:45):
couldn't, well, they couldn't hear it till you made me say it
and then. Dude, I want to.
Jesus, you're so loud. Shut up.
Maybe if you listen with your heart every now and again, it
wouldn't blow out your ears. How about you listen with my
just? Say it balls.

(01:06):
Pistol 9mm Oh it's so fucking quiet looking now I.
Don't want to be here anymore. Dude I want to like literally
open up my chest cavity, plunge my hand into my stomach, scrape
out all of the fucking goo that's in there and ass and just

(01:27):
like fling it at something. What, are you like dying or
something? I know I'm hungry.
Oh, I'm starving. But I don't want to eat and I
don't know if. It's like, do you feel?
Sick a little bit because of howhungry I am.
I'm not hungry anymore, OK? Like because of the discomfort
in my stomach, I like eating. Sounds like the last thing I

(01:49):
want to do, and I know that's the only thing that can fix it.
Yeah. And I hate that.
I. Can you imagine like going out
there to the basketball court and just like plunging my hand
into my stomach and throwing theacid at them like velociraptor
spit? I couldn't imagine it, no.

(02:10):
Well, you got to dig D, Russell.I'm fucking D.
I'm trying to send an e-mail so we can have something cool to
talk about instead of whatever you're doing.
Just kidding. I can leave.
I don't want to be awake right now here.
I want to give you a compliment,and I want to give you a
compliment on something you don't even know that you did.
The most backhanded compliment. No, well, I really mean it

(02:34):
sincerely, but it will come across backhanded because.
Then why it is? You recovered quite well today
because I was going to pull you aside and we were going to have
another Russ and Ben chat that we have on a quarterly basis.
What are you talking about? It didn't start with the knot

(02:55):
thing, but it escalated with theknot thing.
So for those listening, I'm training a new person.
His name is Benjamin. No.
Wow, that starts today, our weird little lesbian you try to

(03:15):
break. This horse, I'll run us off of a
goddamn Cliff. Yeah.
And so I'm trying to train a newperson and whenever Ben is in
the vicinity of someone who needs to learn something, he big
dogs the teacher and undercuts him every time he opens his
mouth. No matter what he says, even.

(03:36):
Here's the best part. Here's the best part.
Say I have an idea and I say it out loud.
He will then also say that idea almost word for word, but imply
that my idea was wrong. That is awesome.
Or, and this is something that he does that he's always done

(04:02):
and he knows when he gets flustered, his communication
decides it's taking a nap and hegives almost like, almost like
his mic, like his, his life mic is cutting out every other word.
What are you talking about You? Just don't give all the relevant
information is like when you when you get frustrated when

(04:23):
you're like crunching. It's the equivalent of me this
to like it's that amount of information every time you're
explaining something and I'm trying to piece it together.
But then. But then he accuses me of not
knowing what a Slipknot is. And ladies and gentlemen, that

(04:48):
that can't happen. I tie knots for fun.
Yeah, that's what like threw me off guard.
Is like, did I not communicate this effectively?
Do not only. Did you have two divert?
Not communicate what you wanted because you didn't tie a
Slipknot. I don't even know what I tied
then it. Was a trucker's hitch.

(05:09):
Probably. So he then goes tie a Slipknot
around this thing 'cause we're trying to thread a a hose.
Just like trying to fish. A hose fish a hose through a
thing and so we had a he what you called fishing line it I've
never caught a fish on plastic rope the.
Act of fishing when you're doingmaintenance is what we literally

(05:31):
did. So it is literally a fishing
line. I'm going to fucking shoot
myself anyway so. I need to throw my acid on
something. So he he goes tie a fishing line
or tie a fucking Slipknot aroundit.
And then I did. And then he had trouble
loosening it because we were struggling.
So we were pulling the Slipknot pretty tight because we were
struggling to try and get the hose through the hole.

(05:53):
And so our greasy hands were having trouble loosening the
Slipknot enough to pull it off. And he goes, next time try tying
a Slipknot. And I literally said I did.
I even united it like you untie a Slipknot and then I just took
a step back like. We're both running hot now and.

(06:14):
The trainee looked at me as I was saying, or as you were
saying, next time try to next time use a Slipknot.
Yeah, I was mouthing those wordsas you were saying them because
I knew the moment you struggled,the moment you struggled to undo
that knot, your assumption thingjust decided he did it wrong.
He didn't do what I asked him todo and now I can't do the thing

(06:37):
I want to do. It's not because any other
reason. Yeah, you like went computer
mode on that. That's that's what it sounds
like. Instead of intuiting based on
the information you've gathered,what I did previously, you're
like I'm going to do exactly what input says output is
matching. Input No, no.

(06:58):
You wanted to me to tie the knotthat you tied.
Hello. Yeah, the truckers hitch,
whatever you called it. Yeah.
And that was a bad knot to tie in that situation because if you
give the rope slack. That I was keeping tension for
that very reason. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah, I'm not going to just
trust that because we're two people.

(07:18):
You decide to place your trust in the weirdest fucking spots
and then and then you complain to me that you're disappointed
and people letting you down yesterday and I'm like
motherfucker. Oh yeah, you.
Stop, stop expecting. Well, because it was right after
the conversation where you're like, so did you get done?
And I go, do you mean did I get done driving a quarter mile in 2

(07:39):
minutes? No, no, I did not, No.
And then you go, man, I'm reallydisappointed in everybody
letting me down. Motherfucker.
I've just helped you today. Yeah, you you definitely thought
that was targeted at. You, it felt targeted at me.
The look on your face when I said, when you said did you get

(08:01):
all those things done? And I was like, no, we got one
of them done. The look on your face was, I
can't believe this. My life is over.
The the coolest part about this arrangement is that you and our
new person are in my sphere of you're you're my nest, and I
will protect you with my God damn life.

(08:22):
Yeah. And they're like the people I'm
referring to are like throwing hurricane, yeah, force winds at
me, pelting me with like, BBS. Yeah.
And it's people that are also supposed to be protecting the
tree that our nest resides. I like having your wings around
me, it'll make sense. I just don't like how stinky
your pits are. Oh they're rough.
My long hairs are definitely getting in your eye.

(08:43):
You're sweating curdled milk. Fuck yeah, I am not about to
vomit acid on something someone needs to like, put an artist's
depiction of what I'm describingmyself as right now.
I'm sure there's. Someone just throw it in an AI

(09:06):
generator and I want to see whatthat is.
I hope it's a velociraptor, not just like fucking Barney.
I don't even know a velociraptorwith wings.
Yeah, well, at least with feathers.
OK. At least with feathers dude.

(09:28):
So my my direct supervisor was supposed to communicate stuff to
his supervisor and then also to one of my.
Peers, well, let's just, let's just give them the situation
because they know we move clown cars around.
So it's not like, so a trailer that we had broke down.
It's a lifting trailer and the lifting parts stopped lifting.

(09:50):
So it was broke down. You spent a good amount of time
getting it ready to be moved yesterday and then told our
supervisor, hey, it's ready so they whenever they can, can they
move it back so I can work on ittomorrow?
That's a separate thing. OK, this is a different
different. Conversation.
That's what I'm saying. Like it's just been a series of
this type of. Bull crap, all right.

(10:13):
So to finish out that situation,my boss's boss was over there
supervising. We'll call him Joe.
And like I had told everyone around there, since they had the
equipment to move that trailer, please, after I'm done here,

(10:33):
after I get this button up. So it's not like creating more
problems. Yeah, move it back to where it
goes. Yeah.
And then after I left, Joe told them to leave it there.
Yeah, and then didn't. Didn't communicate it to me,
didn't communicate it to my boss's peer.

(10:54):
And then sent my boss an e-mail,did not include me in that
e-mail at all that had the details.
And so my team is following me in a cart.
I tell them what's gonna happen.Like, OK, these are the
expectations, this is what we'regonna do.
Let's go execute. I'm like trying to get this
done, 'cause you guys are busy and you have shit to do that
does not involve this. So I'm taking away from primary

(11:18):
tasks. And then I just don't see the
trailer there. And I was like, so I just start
driving. I start, I turn on my fucking
phone. I'm just calling them in the
middle of it. You don't know what I said.
So the our Co worker was drivingthe New Girl.
We haven't come up with a name for her yet.
And she's I mean a chicken with her head cough.
She has no idea what's going on.This is her first week doing
this stuff. So like she's just following our

(11:39):
lead. And I'm sitting in the passenger
seat and we're following you andwe don't see the trailer where
it's supposed to be. And I go, you want to know what
happened? And she goes, what do you mean?
I go, oh, I know exactly what happened.
It's one of two things. Either Ben made an assumption or
Ben made a reasonable assumption.
I guess one of three things. Ben made a reasonable assumption

(12:00):
based on context and Joe just decided fuck him.
Or Joe just changed his mind anddidn't tell Ben it was.
That I gave clear direction. Yeah, I gave clear direction.
And then afterwards he told themto go to directly conflict.
What? I undercut you.
Undercut you like another guy. Like, not you, the other guy

(12:23):
that undercut me the other day. And then there's the other
scenario where we just have two cars just stuck somewhere.
They're just literally stuck dead in the water.
I'd ask my boss to get me information on what's going on
because my peer did not give us information even though I

(12:44):
directly requested it. And so we're left in the dark on
that. It's just sitting in our queue
like it needs to get done and it's stuck in our.
Yeah. Yeah, And so I'm like, OK,
what's going on? And so my boss was supposed to
talk to his boss, and he's also supposed to talk to my peer and
tell me what was up with that. Hadn't heard anything in two

(13:05):
fucking weeks. 2 fucking weeks and apparently there has been
some communication but then whenI talked to my boss about it
he's like yeah I just let it sitthere and I was just waiting for
a reply. He's like you can play your
games but not if it affects us. I am fine with your ratings.
You play your games, Wizard man or whatever, Frodo said.

(13:29):
Keep your secrets. Yeah, that's what it is.
I like, I'm cool with that untilit starts affecting us and our
performance. Yeah, I'm cool with you fucking
around until it starts hurting me.
Yeah, I don't play the sack tap game for that reason like you
guys do. Whatever.
The fuck you don't play the sacktap?
You live the sack tap life. Yeah.

(13:51):
So anyhow, when he made he revealed that to me, that made
me like, immediately more pissed.
It was like, I've never given you an indication that this
behavior is appropriate. Don't do it.
It's a hard boundary. We're not doing that.
And so he like, he clued in on that pretty quick and then sent
a follow up e-mail including everyone that needed to be

(14:13):
included and made sure I was included in that.
And then his boss asked if it was referring to something that
he'd asked before. And my boss said yes, that's
what we're talking about. Doesn't reply, just leaves it.
He asked for confirmation so that he could answer

(14:34):
appropriately. Doesn't answer, leaves.
Just goes home. Yeah, just leaves.
Just fucking leaves. I'm like I I don't I'm helping
you and you're not letting me help you.
I want to do my job and help youguys but you are literally.
Here it is. I don't want to do my job, but

(14:57):
I'm 100% willing to do it and give it a my all.
I don't want to do it though, sothe fact that I'm doing it and
you're preventing me from doing it with the full force of your
giant cock is really frustratingbecause I don't even want to be
here right now. That's.
How it and he's not even talkingabout at work.

(15:18):
Yeah, this is just an intimate conversation with my wife.
Yeah. And that this has been, I want
to say 2 1/2 months is when it started.
It's been non-stop since then. And I've been asking for the

(15:41):
appropriate resources through the appropriate channels with
appropriate tone in the right context and I'm just not.
I'm barely getting anything. Yep.
Feels like a conversation at thepodcast where I'll just be
fucking given a 10 and then Russgives me like A2 at best.
It's like, I get it, you don't want to talk about.

(16:03):
It it's, yeah, it's a lot like that, except.
Except there's a middle finger added on top of it.
Yeah, that's fired out of a bazooka that's shoulder mounted
and instead of flames, it's justchips.
Oh. Well.
Shit come. Yeah, it's more insulting, way
more insulting than that. Yeah.
Like, dude, you don't realize that I dictate your pay.

(16:26):
You're making me do a bad job, which is going to make me mad.
Yeah, and that's affecting my pay, and that's affecting my
team's pay. Yeah, that's great.
And I'm definitely not going to be incentivized to bust my ass
when you're not even letting me.Yeah, but all he has to do is
cut your time to get a bonus at the end of the year.
So that's true. You don't give a.
He doesn't give a fuck about you.

(16:47):
That's true. He's going to get his.
He made sure that, yeah. And by his, I mean he's my tiny
little Weiner. So no.
And then also my my peers are not qualified to be doing their
jobs because they have the emotional intelligence of a
fucking rugrat. One of them literally is just

(17:08):
the kid from Caillou all grown up.
Yeah, yeah, one of them is our boy Horatio and and I, I'm so
grateful. At least he stepped up, but even
he's missing a few. Horatio, I hope.
You hear? This.
Your communication is ass right now.
What's? Right now, it's never been good.

(17:31):
Now it's that's why. So when I got that e-mail the
other day, that was just pieces of information and I'm like, I
know exactly. So I was told I got an e-mail
and I got like half of the information, but I knew about
the situation and I knew exactlywhat I needed to do with what
little information I received. But I'm training somebody who

(17:52):
doesn't have that intuition because she hasn't been doing
this. So she's going to receive an
e-mail like that and go, I don'tknow, what do I just like
shotgun it and hope that I get it right?
Like what do I do here? So I was like, I can't, I can't
just do what I think, what I know to be what needs to be done
and just tell her, well, this iswhat's going to happen because

(18:16):
it's not, it's not the same all the time.
So I'm just like, I just responded very cordially.
Can you not be retarded and sendme all the stuff that's relevant
to this situation or I'll fucking murder your family, is
basically what I said, but in a nice way.
And didn't receive a reply yet. I think you just told me that I

(18:39):
was right. Yeah.
Yeah, I love it. I love it here.
Yeah. And then so our only reprieve is
to come here to the studio and then and rub one out here.
Breaks our toys. That's why we were out of studio
last week and. He just like don't, don't just

(19:02):
don't come. He.
Just keeps texting his differentpictures of broken shit.
He literally he. He's like, hey, I changed things
around and also. So first of all, the one thing
we told him when we installed this server is don't touch this,
yeah. We are not.
I'm going to have to bolt it to the ground.
That's what I'm realizing. Yeah.
I'm going to have to bolt it to the ground.

(19:23):
I, he and I have. A fucking hammer drill too.
I. Said we said don't touch this.
Under no circumstances. Not only does he touch it, he
unplugs everything, moves it to the other side of the room and
plugs it back in. Miraculously it's blinking and
shit. So I think he plugged it all in
correctly, but it's down and it's not connected correctly

(19:46):
over the Internet. But.
I think you called Mike out to move it, no.
OK. That's what he's that's what the
other guy, the other kid said. He didn't.
He did all this by himself. Yeah.
And we'll have to get confirmation from Mike on that,
but the server's still down. I can't get to it.

(20:07):
But anyway, then he breaks a very vital piece of equipment to
the operation and just says we're getting rid of it, and
then just continuously sends us pictures of what he's doing.
And every step makes it less functional.

(20:29):
I I just I don't even know anymore.
I do. Like the dedicated mouse tray?
I do. I'm glad I picked it out myself.
The heights. I told them where to put it
exactly. Sometimes you got to spell it
out, other times you got to etchit in their goddamn.
Skin it is weird that it's like canted yeah, I think it's just
bent but. I can fix that.

(20:51):
Yeah. Wasn't that holes?
Yeah, that was from holes. Yeah, yeah, it was Gus from
Psych. Yeah.
He played Sam, the black guy. That's when I found out they
were cool. That black guys were cool, Yeah.
When he was like. He was like cruising up like Mac
and all these girls, like I could fix that and that informed

(21:14):
me as a man today, didn't. He call somebody Massa in that
movie. I don't know, there were like
some actually surprisingly jarring things in holes.
I didn't remember there being foul language in holes at all.
I didn't know there was either. I'm.
Tired digging this whole grandpa.
Well, that's too damn. Bad.
Is that from then? I'm pretty.

(21:34):
Sure. I don't think is it.
Let me we need to confirm this. Yeah, I just saw that clip today
and was wondering what it was from.
Tirade of dig digging this hole.It's I'm tired of this, grandpa.

(21:55):
Well, that's too damn bad. Yeah, it is from holes.
Yeah, I love that so much. I did not know that was from
holes. So like there's a touch of some
like. I remember that movie came out
when my older brother was in fifth grade and his whole class
went to go see it after they read the book in theaters.
Yeah. Yeah, I actually read the book

(22:16):
and I I think the book had a little bit more information than
what they could film. Or maybe it was like deleted
scenes from the movie. Yeah, but I can't say that one
was better than the other. I'm sure that they read the book
and like they had. I never did.
I didn't read it. It's cool.
There's another. One, I'm good at guessing.
Yeah, yeah. There's like a there's a sequel
or a prequel, yeah. And I read.

(22:39):
That it's all about Madam Zaroniand her giant labia.
No, it's about one of the other kids before it gets sent to the
ranch. Different book.
Different book entirely. So I like that dude.
You ever read some Gary Paulson you don't read?

(23:00):
Yeah, fucking the one where he'sin the woods and then the other
one where he's in the woods. Hatchet.
And then the one where he's on the boat.
Yeah, yeah, no, I didn't read those, but that's where I found
out the trees explode when they're cold.
Yeah, yeah. What's the first frost?
What's the one that's like, it'sit's hatchet, but it's like if
something happened differently? Like if he'd stayed.

(23:21):
Yeah, or something like that. Yeah, I don't care.
Hatchet 2 is where like he voluntarily goes back in the
woods. Maybe I just got all the
information from my older brother.
We didn't read Hatchet when I was in.
School. Oh dude, it it is a good audio
book for you. I would say that dude.
I'm reading more sophisticated things than that.

(23:43):
That is the. Reason I say that.
Literally 5th grade reading. Yeah, I know.
But there's stuff about that. It's like when someone explains
to you what colors are like, you've always known them, but
you hadn't had a concrete thing to tie it to.
Yeah. And that's literally the
emotional experiences of that gotcha when you're reading the
book. I read Robinson Caruso in fifth

(24:03):
grade. I didn't, but I did buy it and
pretended to read it for a wholeyear, and I did.
I do know what happens because it's literally every other book
and story. When somebody crashes on an
island, it's just that story. Yeah, Gary Paulson shit is about

(24:26):
self-reliance and resilience. Yep, coming out of the other
side, you don't know if you're abetter man, but fuck, you know
you made it. And then with Hatchet 2, what
was dope about that is he's like, this life is too easy.
I don't feel like I have purposeanymore.
And then he just goes back into the fucking woods.
I hope I'm recalling that correctly.

(24:49):
It's so fucking nice. Gary Paulson, The River.
Brian's winter. That's what I was thinking.
OK, Brian's return and then Brian's hunt.
Yeah. OK, God, that was made in 86.
9686 I can't read very well. You have such poor vision.

(25:18):
You know what my screen looks like at work and you you
question my whatever the giver is dope outsiders I thought was
stupid. Yeah, so I was explaining to
this. Oh, you were in the room when I
was explaining outsiders. Outsiders is just grease with
no, you're getting it wrong. It's some people might know

(25:42):
Iris, but it's Top Gun for leather jacket gay guys.
That's just Top Gun. Top Gun, No, Top Gun is for
closeted jockey gay guys, and then Grease is for theater kids.
It's all this. They're all the same homoerotic
fan fiction of what real life islike.

(26:06):
And then who I was talking to said, just like Dirty Dancing.
I'm like, don't give me that fagshit.
This is, we're talking about movies here.
Classic. Cinema.
Yeah, fucking ghost. Any pretty much anything Patrick
Swayze is in is a homoerotic fanfic.

(26:27):
Which one is real life scenario?So there's Patrick Swayze, and
then there's Kurt Russell, and then there's also another guy
who's the same. I think we talked about this one
before. John.
John Dutton from fucking Yellowstone, that guy.

(26:52):
I don't think so. Cost Kevin Costner.
Kevin Costner looks like PatrickSwayze.
No, Kurt Russell doesn't look like Patrick Swayze.
Patrick Swayze looks like Who's the other guy?
David Hasselhoff? Negative, the face is the same.

(27:12):
We need to sort this out all. Jacked gay guys from the 80s are
the same guy in my head. Patrick Swayze, cuz that's how
it's actually pronounced. And Kurt Russell.

(27:33):
Yeah, dude, fucking look at this.
Fucking look at this shit. It's fucking.
Weird, I don't see it. Yeah, you're just fucking lying
piece of shit. Yeah, yeah.
I was thinking of David Hasselhoff and then thinking
that he looked like David Hasselhoff.

(27:56):
Which one did the thing? Because that's the one I like.
That's Kurt. Russell OK.
I like Kurt Russell. Wait, Patrick Swayze did to
Roadhouse though, right? Yeah.
Yeah, but the bad one, not the good.
Jake Gyllenhaal 1. I kind of have to like him a
little bit. No, that's obviously a joke.
They're both bad. To Wong Foo, thanks for

(28:23):
everything. Now that.
He's in drag. Is he?
Is that him in drag? So it looks like a bunch of
dudes, that's for sure. Those are all three dudes.
He died too late, I think. He wasn't overtime, if you know

(28:44):
what I mean. Oh my gosh.
Oh. Man, Yeah, Kurt Russell.
He was Star Lord's dad, right? Yeah, and he's also a Tron guy.
Yeah. Yeah, I like Kurt Russell more.
I as far as like the clone, the clone comparison, Yeah, I like

(29:07):
him more. I think he's the better clone.
Kurt Russell is not a real person.
He's a clone. We established that, Patrick.
Swayze is a gay guy and we all know how I feel about them.
We can confirm that Patrick Swayze was also a clone because
his pancreas deteriorated. Yes, the gene code.

(29:27):
The gene code started copying itself.
This is this is accurate. More accurate.
Was there another guy that looked like them?
Was there like a trifecta? It's like Kurt Patrick and you
said Hasselhoff. Yeah, let's see.

(29:48):
Let's see a comparison because Idon't know.
I think I'm wrong, but because Iwas picturing David Hasselhoff
and David Hasselhoff. Like I know what you're getting
at because there are some similar.
It's just they all have the samethick head.
And those are just both. David Hasselhoff?
I don't know. Why that's?
See, that's what I was picturing.
That posed it as though it were a comparison, and this is what

(30:12):
we find out that it actually is Patrick.
But that's that's what I was picturing.
I was picturing David Hasselhoffand also David Hasselhoff and
going yeah, star Patrick Swayze.Starring is Patrick Swayze.
I'm David Hasselhoff. I'll be reading for the part of
Patrick Swayze. See see, this is just a picture

(30:38):
of Patrick Swayze next to Patrick Swayze.
When the search that you actually thought it was
literally Patrick. Swayze Wow, this is awesome.
These are all pictures of just. The same actor this one is.
Literally looking like when it'swhen you don't click on it, it's
like, oh, it's literally a picture with David Hasselhoff

(31:00):
and Patrick Swayze in the same room.
It's not. It's just David Hasselhoff
groping David Hasselhoff. This is awesome.
Here we go. No, that's still.
Fucking got us again it. Keeps tricking me.

(31:22):
Oh, wait. Wait, wait.
Go up. What?
Yeah, I think that's it. David Hasselhoff isn't even in
this picture and. Why the fuck is Sylvester
Stallone in here? It's fucking Braveheart,
Sylvester Stallone, and then Patrick Swayze and Kurt Russell.
Said his name. Stallonia.
No his name. Braveheart.
No, say it because I can't say it in my head right now.

(31:46):
I can't think of it. Phone freak out guy.
Pack. Passion of the huh?
Pack of them. Oh, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That guy, I don't know what this
is, but. I like it.
Is that. Is that fucking Stanley?

(32:08):
It's Stanley staring into David Hasselhoff's face.
Oh my God, what is this? Guardians Inferno?
Is it the third Guardians movie or something?
I have absolutely no clue we're on Wi-Fi.

(32:31):
We're not supposed to be on Wi-Fi.
I know at all. That's illegal.
But now I don't think we're on network at all.
Hold on it. Refresh that shit, you just
restart the computer a little bit Recording.

(32:54):
Do you see network on here? Try to refresh the page.
Listener loves when we're doing tech support stuff.
OK, so in the middle of we're onthe Internet now, but do you see
network here anywhere? There it is.

(33:14):
What are you? OK?
We are connected through Ethernet.
I was just checking. How would it load?
Weird things have happened, Ben.It's just connected to your cell
phone. Always was.
How is the Ethernet being slowerthan Wi-Fi?
I hate it here. Yeah, nothing makes sense.

(33:35):
Everything's fucking weird. It's hot and cold at the same
time. I think I'm just sick.
Probably. Probably.
I mean, you've earned a fucking rest, I can say that.
So what have you been up to thisweek other than crashing out?
I found out that King of the Hills returning on Hulu.
I saw that. Pretty fucking jazzed.

(33:56):
But like what have you been intoother than I had a being a sour
puss? I had a stark realization that I
literally have not listened to music in like 3 weeks.
I think me and you popped something on for like 1 of ours
so I've. Listened to music more than you
in the last three weeks? Yeah, cool.

(34:17):
Fucking weird. I'm going to kill myself.
I guess that's a sign it's coming though.
Everybody get ready. Two kids gonna die tonight.
I am doing a fuck ton of work atthe guitar shop like and it's
been like really productive workbut now it's starting to get hot

(34:40):
and I know that my ambition willbe beat out by the heat.
Or beat off. Yeah.
And then after that realization that I hadn't listened to music,
I was like, I also don't have fucking AC in my car again.
And so I talked to my wife and it's like I.
Living the rest life. I regret to inform you that I am

(35:01):
purchasing a 1300. Dollar headache, young man.
And so she's like, yeah, go ahead and get it.
And he's like, I don't think youunderstand what I said.
I'm not asking. Yo, why are you giving me
permission, bitch? You shut up.
So I was like, I was ready for like the tariffs to rape me in

(35:23):
the wallet. And then I went to go buy it and
it was like cheaper. Yeah, because there aren't.
The tariffs didn't do anything. Tariffs are a lie.
Yeah, they because the tariffs were just a threat.
I ended up spending like $500 less than I thought I was going
to and. It's crazy how people just
decided that the tariffs were a bad thing and.
Now I can afford eggs again. Yeah, interesting how that

(35:45):
happens, Trump. Really good guy, something, the
best guy, greatest guy, no one cares.
I truly don't. Dude I had a BLT for the first
time in like 810 years. Big.
Latina titties. And they were juicy.

(36:09):
No, my, my wife was like, I don't know what we have to make
for dinner and like, I don't know, piece something together.
She's like, actually I have all the stuff for BLTS if you want
that. It's like yeah, I'm yes, just
yes, just that you made a call, let's run with it.
So she proceeds to make 2 BLTS and then when I.

(36:31):
You. Yeah, that would be a weird
thing if you only had one BLT. One for herself and then one for
me. We go.
I go into the kitchen because she's like called me to ask for
help or something. So I go in there.
Say woman. This is not my domain, this is

(36:52):
hallowed ground in my dirty. Did you just like click?
Yeah, it was weird. That was fucking.
Weird, I was licking the inside of my mouth and it made a weird
popping sound. There's.
A suction pocket in there. I think I die.
I'm dying. Yeah, you are.
I had a really like bad gum achethe other like for like a week

(37:13):
and then it just went away. No.
It's because it's because I havea wisdom tooth that was coming
in. Quite.
Hot and like you if you look youcan see like there's a flap of
gum that like is just sitting ontop of the wisdom tooth and you
nicked it and it's like and it'sjust yeah I I think that's

(37:34):
basically what happened and so Iwas just just just hogging
ibuprofen for like a week and then it just stopped I woke up 1
morning and I'm like I'm fine see the dentist is just in it
for the money it's. Just it's like big chiropractic,
it's all scam. Worse, actually, because the
chiropractor makes me feel better, dentist makes me feel

(37:55):
bad about myself. One builds your back, one breaks
your confidence. Yeah, so anyhow, wife is making
BLT for me and one for herself. She finishes making and then and
we're just standing in the kitchen.

(38:15):
I don't know why we never do this, but like, we were just
shooting the breeze in the kitchen, right?
We were just eating standing up in the kitchen.
It was fucking weird. Anyhow, like I get through like
the first half of my sandwich and then like she'd take one
bite and then she like sets it down and then she like stares at
it like what she's like. I don't think I like this.
It's like you suggested this. You asked for this.

(38:38):
So like literally wife law or girlfriend law is the first
suggestion that is brought up when it comes to eating food she
will always not like. Yeah.
Even if she wants it. Yeah.
Just like their first time having sex.
Yeah, they always regret it right after.

(39:00):
Because I was like, thank you for confirming that.
Maybe that's just my. Just conclude those studies.
Yes, that's. What's going to happen once you
finally like, sneaks a finger inmy ass?
I thought I wanted this is like I told you, you didn't want
this. Gives you the fucking sneaker,
Rafiki. Fucking hitchhikes me.

(39:25):
You jam your thumb on her ass and then you and then you rub it
on her head. Simba.
Yeah, I just found out about that today on High Tea Boys.
They're doing a Urban Dictionarytier list.
Simba ING is when you do it intotheir belly button and then just
get your load and then use the do the same.
Nice. It's pretty cool, yeah.

(39:48):
Yeah, I've been doing true crimelike stuff.
Tread carefully, Russell. Why does the subscription to the
podcast come with a free set of tan packs?
What are we talking about? Oh no, no, no, no.
So. Are you spotting?

(40:11):
I did clock out and immediately take a shit.
That's why I was late coming in today.
Also, you said 3:30, so yeah, I.Told this is the second time
that this has happened, I gave very specific instructions.
Yeah, well, I. Cannot Sprint up here and then
like it worked out. Like I literally let her in so

(40:34):
it was fine. But anyway so I did take a shit
and when I wiped there was bloodso yes I am spotting but it has
nothing to do with. The fact that you're listening,
true, yeah. So Sonic Wednesday was cancelled
this week because Jordan has butt aids and I.

(40:54):
Hate to see it. And some say some are saying
it's long COVID. I tend to believe it's butt
aids. It could be long butt COVID
though. Do you prefer long COVID or
girthy COVID? I prefer needle COVID.
Cut or uncut? Anyway, so Hugh did a have you

(41:18):
heard? You remember a couple years ago
when those college kids were stabbed to death in Idaho?
Is like a serial. Well, they didn't really know
like at first it kind of like, is this a serial killer or
whatever? And then it kind of just, I
stopped paying attention. So, well, the guy that did it,
maybe they caught a guy, he's suspect.

(41:39):
He's on trial right now. And so Hugh did like a deep dive
into that whole thing because there's, there's suspicion that
he didn't do it and they're trying to cover it up and stuff.
I don't, I don't know, I haven'treally looked into it as much as
some of the guys did. From what I can tell.

(41:59):
There is some weird stuff, but like, I think you did it.
But anyway, so I got, I went from that and just started like
there's this, I talked about drinking Bros before.
There's a podcast on their network that is just like true
crime stuff And I they do different murder mysteries every
week. And so I started listening to

(42:20):
those because I just yeah, it was that or Come Town.
I want Caleb Francis to do a true crime podcast.
I would listen to that. He had someone else podcasts
with with Jared fucking Taylor. I like that one, but I'm saying

(42:41):
like I want one that's specifically just true crime
stuff and he'll never get, they'll never get through any
story. It's going to be amazing and.
I'll Time for Pie is pretty funny though.
Yeah, the old ones are the new ones, like recently, they
haven't really been that funny. I don't know, I haven't been
watching this much but. Yeah, Caleb was fucking
hilarious. Yeah, dude.

(43:01):
Speaking of true crime stuff, I was scrolling through Netflix
trying to find a new anime to watch because Moon rises a
little slow right now and Gabby Petito has a Netflix.
Documentary. Yeah, that came out like a month
ago. Who gets the money from that?
Her family. Oh, I guess that would be her

(43:23):
estate, right? Well, yeah.
Dude, how are you even able to shed a tear when your
Lamborghini is driving down the Interstate at under 20 miles an
hour? Because your daughter was
strangled to death in a State Park.
The tears don't stay on your face long enough to technically
be crying. Look, I think you're a cold

(43:47):
hearted person. This one's for you Gabby.
Start up my fucking Ford raft. Yeah, it is stupid.
I mean, the what's his face? His parents should be in jail.
Hold on, I'm getting a phone call.
Oh, for harboring. Hello Bishop Integrity.
Nope, they know too much. We have to kill the listener.

(44:12):
It sounded like a robot, so I was like, oh, it's a scam call.
And then it was somebody reminding me of a doctor's
appointment on Tuesday. Butt aids.
No, it's just so I can get more Adderall.
I think that's all it is, yeah. It feels like it'd be

(44:32):
insensitive to spend the money from that, but I would
definitely blow the money on something badass.
Yeah, I don't know. Oh, it might be going to her
fund. There's a charity that is
something he. Started like a charity in her
honor. Yeah, for hikers to give
everyone Agps with a fucking. It's just a button, just they

(44:56):
just give out REI gift cards, Gander Mountain gift cards.
Fucking subdermal GPS tracking chips.
Hikers. Dude, if you didn't want to get

(45:19):
married, I. Think there are other options.
That's odd way to end that relationship.
It is. A crazy way to go out is to just
be eaten by an alligator after murdering your fiance.
Yeah, why did they hide him? Because he's their son and they

(45:39):
have a crazy son. They're probably also crazy.
That's true, that's true. I thought they'd be concerned of
like being implicated in the fucking crime, which I I'm
surprised that did they dodge. You have a weird relationship
with your parents, which obviously you.

(46:00):
Oh dude, I have some other. I have some other shit that I
need to fucking air out that's oddly related to that.
Yeah. Yeah, there was like a fucking
domestic violence case at my grandma's house.
But it wasn't anything to do with your family.

(46:21):
It was my family. All participants were my family.
Oh no, it was your direct familyinvolved.
Depends on what you. Classify It was your aunt.
Is my aunt and my cousin her daughter.
Oh, that doesn't. That's just who cares?

(46:41):
Well, my cousin cares right now because she's in county.
She's in fucking county. And Ben is black, but his family
is white. But so white that they've
become. Yeah, I didn't say not white
trash. Yeah, I'm a red Dick.

(47:06):
The only black part of his family left.
It's true. Speaking of family that isn't
around, that friend who I was dog sitting for couple weeks
ago. Yeah, we were like the day
before me and my wife went over there just like kind of like to

(47:28):
get walk through on what we needto do to take care of their dog.
And we were sitting down to eat.And she goes, Did I tell you my
dad died? Fuck.
She's like, no. And she's like, yeah, I just
found out like a couple days ago.
Like completely does not care. He was never in her life, but
right. Yeah, that's.
A fun fact. Yeah, I like that.

(47:49):
I like that it. Was just a like a really really
good left hook in a conversation.
Dude, that is that's the best way to get that news because I'm
never ready to console someone in a time of grief.
Yeah, I've never prepared. To It is funny.
It is great when you can just go.
That's hilarious, yeah. And they just move on.
Or, or just hit them with a whoa, that's crazy.

(48:14):
Wow, real. Yeah.
Or. Fucking.
Ridiculous. Yeah.
Oh, that was funny. Yeah.
And she found out she has like 1/2 sister.

(48:36):
I got like 8. Yeah.
My dad was a whore, dude. OK, did I?
Did I tell you that he tried to reach out to me on Facebook?
I feel like I did. Oh, was it a while back?
Yeah, it's been like a year. Yeah, I think you did.
He he's like. Yeah, he's like, hey, you need

(48:59):
to get in contact with your brother.
He's wanting to meet you. And first of all, I don't need
to do anything. Yeah, it's like, first of all,
you don't get to tell me shit. First of all, you need to pay
child support. How about you need to come home
with that milk? I got dry ass cereals and I'm

(49:21):
old enough to smoke them. Fucking Newports that you went
out for. Dude, dry cereal would be such
an amazing pop. Bugs.
That's a good song title. Oh yeah, Oh yeah, And we'll do a
really soulful chorus and you'llbe the one singing.
It. Yeah, but I thought it was it's

(49:44):
it's it's just a black guy's version of the kids aren't all
right by blink 182. Is that what it was?
Yeah, I think so. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Man, whatever. Yeah.
Fucking funny. That's hilarious.
Oh. My wife was like, you guys
should get pizza today. You should get that stuffed
crusted Domino's. I was hoping you were gonna have

(50:06):
pizza. I didn't have.
Time. I know.
You. I know.
You did bullshit like this. I know you didn't, but I was
like, I don't have time to stop.I, I, I I sacrificed time by
taking a dump. Dude, you and my wife are the
only two people I trust right now.
That's it. That's my fucking shortlist.
I ate 2 Donuts that have been sitting in my car for two days

(50:30):
so it's fine. I'm impressed on.
This and I didn't puke and that's surprising because New
Girl, I hate riding with her while she's driving.
It's back and forth and back andforth.
She she drives with a like throttle and then let off
throttle and then let off. So I'm constantly like on a
boat. I the other day I got home and I

(50:54):
laid down in my bed and when I closed my eyes, I like yeah,
this felt yeah. I felt like I was in like just
got off of a boat. It was crazy.
Fuck yeah. I like I got to say she smells
or something. I was like.
Well, she did yesterday. I don't know what happened but I
was like smelling myself whenever and it wasn't me.

(51:17):
Yeah, I. Was like, oh.
Dude, I was like, I didn't even have time to do this, but I was
going to, like, pull you aside, like, hey, we need to stay
really on top of hygiene, especially during training.
Yeah. And like, you just, like, came
in wearing really nice shirts. Yeah.
Like, OK. He's OK.
He's OK. He did.
I I even brought an extra fucking shirt to wear for this

(51:37):
client. Oh my God.
Kept my cards brand new. I got out of the package.
Russell, you're in the boot driveway.
Because like you don't ever set any expectations of excellence.
And so when there are moments where it's required, you wake in
the morning and you piss excellence and then you just

(51:57):
like step up and like. Yeah, yeah.
Step up to. The comeback.
The back step up to the back shots.
All right, we in there. There's one other thing, like I

(52:19):
I don't know why I had this corememory unlocked.
Yeah, but when I was a lot younger, my folks would watch
Travel Channel. And then also the Food Channel
is probably why I'm fucking fat.But I'd see Anthony Bourdain and
Andrew Zimmern and they'd they'dgo to fucking China and eat
cheap food and it looked amazing.

(52:40):
And then they would, like, switch over to the cooking
channel, which my grandma and mymom just, like, don't cook.
They don't actively cook. So I don't know why they were
getting recipes. But I fell in love.
Yeah. There was a lady by the name of
Rachael Ray does not look the same thing she did back then.
No. And I like, I remember

(53:00):
distinctly when Rachael Ray was on, I turned and looked at my
grandma in the face and he's like, I'm going to marry Rachael
Ray. And she like laughed at me and
was like, girl, not going to entertain my delusions.
That's awesome. And then as I got older, she.

(53:22):
Got bigger? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, I.
She's the one that said the N word.
No, that was butter Lady. Misses Buttersworth.
No, the fucking Southern cooking.
The the Indian, the Land of Lakes Indian, they can say it,
can't they? They've been through enough.

(53:45):
I mean, if they're carrying a tomahawk, who's going to stop?
A gun. A lot of guys with a lot of
guns. But yeah, I came to the
realization that I like, did marry Rachael Ray.
Just inappropriate racer. That's funny.
I. Got mine.

(54:05):
I married the one that said the N word.
This dude is not straight. Anderson Cooper, No.
Is he like? He's very out.
OK. I don't know if this is the
right video, but I just want to see what you think of this.
AC 360 CNN weeknights, 10 Eastern.

(54:28):
A lot of odd things happen in planet Washington.
I actually thought this this waskind of an April Fool's joke
when I saw it today, but it's not.
Took place last week in a House Armed Services Committee hearing
discussing a military buildup onthe island of Guam.
Here's Georgia Congressman Hank Johnson.
Listen. This is a island that at its

(54:49):
widest level is what, 12 miles from shore to shore, and at its
smallest level or smallest location, it's 7 miles between 1

(55:10):
shore and the other. Is that correct?
We don't have the exact dimensions, but to your point,
Sir, I think Guam is a small island.
A. Small island and about 24 miles
if I recall. Long, so 24 miles long.
About 7 miles wide at the least.Widest place on the island and

(55:36):
about 20, about 12 miles wide onthe widest part of the island.
And I think how seriously? East Cooper.
I don't know how many square miles that that is.
Do you happen to know? I don't have that figure with
me, Sir. I can certainly supply it to you

(55:57):
if you'd like. Yeah, my, my fear is that the
whole island will become so overly populated that it will
tip over and and capsize. We don't anticipate that.
I got to say I'm impressed with the Admiral Robert Willard,

(56:20):
who's head of the US Pacific Fleet, for not laughing,
frankly. Later, when he was asked for a
clarification, A spokesman for the Congressman Johnson said he
meant that adding about 8000 Marines and their families to
the population of Guam could be a tipping point for the island's
infrastructure and ecosystem. That he was right.
Obviously joking. Decide for yourself.
We elected that guy. What the fuck?

(56:46):
That was 15 years ago, but we still have, I mean, you've seen
the the clips from like the TikTok hearing with the guy, the
the Byte Dance CEO or the TikTokCEO.
Have you seen that? No, Oh my goodness.
It's like, does the Roomba, it'sconnected to my Wi-Fi?

(57:06):
Does that mean you can see the inside of my house?
And he's like, I'm I, I don't know, Senator, Senator, I
honestly wouldn't want to. And he's like, you work for the
Chinese Communist Party. Is that right?

(57:27):
He's like, Senator, I am from Singapore.
I, I do not work for the China. I'm from Singapore.
I have a Singapore. I have a Singapore passport.
It's so fucking funny. So the Chinese Communist Party

(57:48):
has access to my phone camera, Senator, we do not have to give,
we do not have to give the Chinese Communist Party access
to your camera for like 12 hours.
They're just grilling this guy. Beating this man down, it's.
Old people that don't know what a router is.

(58:09):
Dude, I maybe that is a brilliant technique.
Maybe it's an interrogation technique where you just wear
them down. Yeah, over time it's like I will
tell you anything you want if you will just let me leave right
now. It gets motherfuckers in
trouble. Yeah, that's how we hit false
confessions. Hey, we got to pin this on
someone, all right? And it's not going to be me.
Yeah, we covered that. We covered capsizing Guam.

(58:37):
The drummer from Devil Wears Prada is dead.
It was an assassination. They brought down the plane. 60
something people died and we know it was an assassination
because Devil Wears Prada is a very prominent band right now.
A lot of people listen to them. Like you.
That would be a true sentence like. 20 years ago.

(59:04):
Dude, one of my friends like swore up and down that he takes
the singer out to lunch like twice a year and I'm like dude,
I know you're lying to my face. I for the longest time did not
differentiate Devil Wears Prada from Attack Attack.
That's fair. They are the same band, just

(59:25):
especially without Caleb Shomo. Wasn't there like a zombies EP?
Everything is about the the undead.
I don't know, I really stopped paying attention after I heard
I'm still fly. Like, Oh well, this isn't a
serious group. Oh, they have good day jobs now?

(59:46):
Yeah. Cool.
I'm glad that this is a hobby now.
Yeah. This is bad music.
I don't like this at all. Not that I don't care, Well, I
don't, but. You've rescinded the invitation
for me to, Yeah. Oh shucks to that guy.
I bet he's actually a sick drummer.

(01:00:07):
Though I'm sure he is, he was inone of the greatest bands of all
time. It's The Devil Wears Prada, the
movie with Anne Hathaway. Yeah, yeah.
Was Anne Hathaway the drummer? Yeah, I'll be a little bit more
disappointed if he likes Catwoman.
Doesn't she play drums and Ella enchanted?

(01:00:30):
That sounds right. The one where she's small?
That awoke a ton of fetishes. Do you remember that movie?
No, it's Cinderella, but she's tiny.
That's basically the movie and. Now people, now boys are going
to put her in their butts. Yeah, I mean, OK, so is that how
you know what the like the gigantor fetish thing, right?

(01:00:52):
Like people watch like giant porn.
Yeah, Russell just like, stares at me like.
Beating. Some sweater just blowing down
my. Face there's like there's a no,
what's that? There's a the whole fetish where
like, you're a tiny guy. Like smash porn I think is like
smack. Like I know that that.
Dominatrix, I don't. Care I know that dominatrix can

(01:01:14):
literally get paid money to likestep on people so I'm assuming
it's like that type of. Thing.
Yeah, yeah. But they like want to be
shrunken down and then put in somebody's butt and then they
can control them like a Mac, like a Mac with levers and
weight. That is a calm town bit.
Gundam, yeah. Cum dump.

(01:01:40):
Come dump come dumpster. Come Quop.
No, like that's a whole thing. It's like, yeah, getting stepped
on by a giant. I think, I think, I think that's
the origin of the sit on my facememe.
How old was Anne Hathaway duringthe filming of Ella Enchanted?
It was after The Princess Diaries 1 and 2.

(01:02:04):
I confuse Princess dies and Princess bride which makes me
mad because I like. One of them and I hate them.
I love both of them. I know she comes out hot because
they just straightened her hair.Yes.
And plucked her unibrow. Yes, it just infers that I have
a chance. That you can be groomed, yeah.

(01:02:25):
Epstein dude sure. One time I came to work and
Hawks goes so who plucks your eyebrows?
I go my wife because she just went a little too detailed one
day. Oh, you just got cleaned up?
Yeah, because like, she'll, like, sit there, you know, she's

(01:02:46):
a woman. They like to pop pimples and
like monkeys. They like to fixate on
something. Yeah, they like to pull bugs off
you and eat them. And she, like, comes in with
tweezers every once in a while. Just plucks my unibrow.
I got hairs that grow out of my eyelids, too.
Those fucking hurt. Yeah, that sounds pain.
No, not my eyelashes. They're called pews.

(01:03:12):
She just plucks all of my eyes. Dude you look like a psychopath.
Like leave the eyebrows. I just want to see what happens.
And so she'll like, pluck my my unibrow.
And yeah, it's great. Ella Enchanted.

(01:03:37):
Young, hot. Let's see.
How old is she right now? Stop.
Hey, hey, hey. Easy.
She's not underage anymore. It's not as cool, it's not as
hot. She's 42 right now.

(01:03:57):
She's born in 82 when the movie come out.
The movie came out in. 2004. 2004.
Quick math saying it was legal. 22 Yep.
I'm surprised I guessed so. Yeah, legal.

(01:04:17):
I didn't ever think Heidi Klum was attractive.
We're doing it again. We're doing it so she's not, by
the way. Most models, aren't they?

(01:04:38):
Most of them look like demons. Which spawn.
Yeah, most fashion models look awful.
They look like they've been stored in a closet.
They do. They look like they have been
like, hung up with the clothes and just waiting to be brought

(01:05:04):
out to walk down the runway. They're not fed, they're given
like an IV of vitamins, a thimble of yeah, fruit juice and
cum probably. Yeah.
They're most models don't and she is definitely in the don't
category. Yeah, it's like they're turning.
Them what is that? It's like, oh, you just do it.

(01:05:29):
I think models look like they are slowly being turned into the
handbags that they fashion just over time, like they're going to
become a handbag. Can we get it?
Why are you reading this? Early life check on Eric Idle.

(01:05:52):
Probably Jewish. I don't need to look.
There's something about it that you just.
I'm not sure what it is, it might be the nose that's
dripping off of this film. I could probably put a finger
on. It have you seen?
Small jet. You know the guy from Predators,

(01:06:17):
Armand. Chris Hansen.
No, not that predators Armstrong.
Talking about Creed. Apollo Creed.
No, the Brutalist, which sounds like.
Porn. Yeah, that's definitely porn.

(01:06:38):
Let's not look that up on fucking.
It's not. It's a new movie that came out
about shitty architecture. Yeah, this guy, Adrian Brody.
I was close with Armand. He's not cool enough to be able
to have the last name Brody. So apparently he's an artist.
He just copied Starbucks logo. No, no, it says Brody Bucks.

(01:07:04):
And then has two pistols aimed at their face.
Yeah, I like, I like the McDonald's.
I like the McDonald's fries. Fucking cigarettes.
All right, he gets to keep his last name.
That's pretty funny. He just did a fifth grade tiger.

(01:07:28):
What is he wearing? He just took a bathrobe.
Do an art exhibit. Yeah, it's art.
And he's wearing a scarf. It's.
Better than the banana duct tape.
I have now retracted his right to carry the surname Brody.
Yeah. This is the coolest guy.
Yeah, but he got too cool and then he became uncool.

(01:07:48):
But I could be too far. That's true.
Across the line, you skirt the edge, don't jump off of it.
Yeah, he's the guy in in Predators that carries an AA12
you. Remember that.
Is that an airplane? No, it is an automatic shotgun.

(01:08:08):
Is a 12 even an airplane? No, Maybe, maybe.
Let's look it up. A 12 airplane.
It is the locky Day 12. That actually does look fucking

(01:08:29):
sick. I thought it was going to look
stupid. It's definitely just a concept,
I bet. Yeah, it's probably just for.
Reconnaissance by Skunk Words. Kelly, OH Johnson.
Clarence Johnson. Clarence is a bad name.
Representative It was produced and it's real and it looks sick

(01:08:52):
as fuck. He only made it for two years.
And then they flew for five. They only needed it for two
years. The Sr. 71 Blackbird is better.
It is. That's still like it looks cool.
I like that we bought, we, we built the the the Blackbird with
stolen materials from the peoplethat we were spying on with the

(01:09:13):
Blackbird. We stole the titanium from the
Soviet Union to build that fucking beast.
It's like using the. Coins you'd take from the kid
for his lunch money as pelting stuff.
You want your money back? Chicken, chicken.
I Speaking of throwing stones, so there's that.

(01:09:34):
Project Gusto. There's a story in the Bible, I
think it's with Mary Magdalene when Jesus first meets Mary.
I don't know for sure but there's the quote he who without
sin throws the can throw the first down.
I like to picture him then picking up a stone and throwing
it. He just fucking force powers of

(01:09:56):
Boulder into the room. He's like, all right, it's your
turn now, go ahead. Just wrecks.
Them. What the hell dude?
Why are you so popular right now?
You cool your jets. It's the clinic again I love.
Aids, OH. Yeah, it's just the clinic

(01:10:29):
reminding me that I have an appointment after they reminded
me. For your record aids.
Yes, I gave butt aids to Jordan.It was a gift, OK?
It's a gift and a curse. The gift is that now he can
regift and he gets to keep it. It's the.
Perfect white elephant gift. Is it black elephant?

(01:10:55):
Pink elephant? There's no black.
Like I know like it's hug stuff.Like there's a bowl.
I don't know what an elephant would be.
Black Elephant is when I take your.
Christmas present away, but it sounds like taxes.

(01:11:26):
It's like dirty Santa, you know,You get the Have you never had
like an office Christmas thing? I'm familiar with Dirty Santa.
OK, it's white. White elephant's the same thing.
Black Elephant's where I take itfrom you.
What's the one where you just, like, pull a name from the hat
and you just buy 1 Secret Santa?Secret Santa?
Yeah, that was the one. OK yeah.

(01:11:49):
So Secret Santa. Except you steal it from a
person that's randomly dropped. Yeah, Black Black Elephant is
where you get a bike for Christmas, and that means I got
a bike for Christmas. But you have to paint it real
quick. Before you write it.

(01:12:20):
You know those like, fucking guns where they, like, pull the
trigger and a boxing glove wouldcome out?
Yeah, I want that with a penis and I have access to two or
three 3D printers. Now she ties her hair back, she
gets on her knees and just gets fucked.

(01:12:41):
Up. I want that.
I just want. To like I like that audio a lot
but it has to be next time my wife sucks my Dick I'll punch
her. Gotcha, bitch.
The jokes never know. It's never going to happen.

(01:13:03):
So he'll be a man of his word. Yeah, there's at least that.
Oh, this plane developed into the Sr. 71 Blackbird.
So it's a precursor? Would that be the A 13 then?
How do they fucking name planes?I know that we're talking about
the A 35. That was the F35, sorry.

(01:13:26):
Whatever, we're talking about the F35 and then now orange man
is talking about the F47MM. Hmm, what happened to the rest
of the numbers? If I remember right I was told
the numbers don't actually really mean much and obviously
47 is because he's the 47th president that's that's why I'm

(01:13:50):
pretty sure. But the the number or the letter
at the beginning does. The F stands for fighter, the A
stands for attack, the B stands for.
Bomber and then cargo for C. Bomber.
Yes. And C Did you say bomber?
Yeah, it sounded like you said. Bummer.

(01:14:12):
No, that's just you. Every time I say something, you
are a wet boot. I am very sweaty right now.
Yeah. B is for Bummer, C is for cargo,
and Sr. is for secret reconnaissance.

(01:14:34):
Maybe I. Don't know spy shit.
And then YF is y'all fucked, Butyeah you can, yeah.
Strategic reconnaissance. That's what it is, yeah.

(01:14:54):
I wish that I'd just known that,but I didn't.
I had to read it from a screen like an idiot.
What did I say The R stood for secret reconnaissance.
I don't remember what I said now.
Special Reconnaissance. Special retard.
Yeah, but and then you have likethe F35B, which is AF 35, but

(01:15:21):
it's a bummer. Bummer.
Sounds like a way that an Australian person asks his
spouse for butt sex. AA12, we were talking about that
earlier. That's what Ashton Kutcher, or
whatever his name is, uses in Predators.

(01:15:44):
It's such as it's. A gross looking gun.
Yeah, it's like Lego gun. The first time I heard about it
was from FPS Russia, but it's just a a 12 gauge.
An automatic 12 gauge with the drum mag.
All function, no form. Yeah, I.
Think the fucking grease gun. The grease on the gun looks
better than that. Oh yeah, that's good old

(01:16:07):
fashioned American stamped sheetmetal right there.
I. Think that's what the designer
for Glock took inspiration from?I mean this is the Glock of I
think the AA12 is German, maybe it might be Russian.
Atkisson at cheesonin. Atchison Auto Assault 12.

(01:16:29):
That's gay. Let's see.
Resident Evil 12. Charge handle give me.
Manufacturer. Where?
Just fucking do control. FI hate you.
Fag 12 fix it. Frag 12 OK, I thought that said

(01:16:52):
fag 12. Military police systems made it.
Where is that? Where is that?
Pani Fiat's history. It's the second line in history.
It was. No, no, that's not true.
OK, Adkinson sold the rights to that place.

(01:17:15):
So it's this guy Maxwell Alchizmo.
It's If this is an American gun,I'm going to be kind of upset
because it's very ugly. He's an American engineer.
What a fucking retard. His son drew a gun.

(01:17:40):
He's like, I'll make it for. You at least Gatson Glock had a
side project which was horse come.
Excuse me? Yeah, you don't know about
Glock. Come.
Nope. Yeah, so not only does Glock
make the most boring, most reliable firearm on the planet.

(01:18:03):
It's Toyota. Yeah, the Toyota or guns, but
they also are heavily invested in the horse cum industry.
Let's see. How'd animal husbandry.
Glock. So Glock.

(01:18:26):
Stallions. Glock.
Horse performance. Yeah.
Glock. Wait, is it like the Budweiser
horse or? No, it's for racing.
Horse race. I literally wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait. Go to that orange, that first
orange text in the white brick, go fucking one down, and then go
to the black text right there. Order semen.com.

(01:18:53):
That hell yeah. Definitely, definitely not going
to give us a virus. Holy shit, I didn't know that
was a website. I didn't have the creativity to
think that would be a website. No pick.
Yeah, little known fat Glock makes money off of horse semen.

(01:19:15):
So do I, but mine is a performance act where I chug.
Tan churned. Oh, could you get butter from
gum? You could definitely get butt
hurt from cum I'm talking. Like if we were to just fill a

(01:19:36):
butter churn with semen and thenyou had a milk maid just churn
the cum, what would happen? I feel like you would evolve it
to the next stage. It turned into a bunch of baby
horses it. Becomes a guy.
Just a guy made a cum. That's all of us, Russell.

(01:20:02):
I don't understand. Why did we come to horses again?
Because I was trying to talk about cool shit like airplanes,
and then you started talking about horse wieners.
This had nothing to do with me. I think you brought it up,
definitely did. You literally can like map the

(01:20:23):
EQ curve of my voice, map yours and then make it sound like I
said. It or or I could just have AI do
it. It's true.
I'm scared now. I thought that home, said horse.
That's like Russell. We need to stop.
Where? At the very top, right under
Instagram, I thought that said horse.

(01:20:43):
I just want you to understand that we are OK.
We could be worse. This is a couple clips from a
podcast that I found that came up on my Instagram that I wanted
to play. What?
Is the what is Speaking of animals?
What's the animal in this world that you fear the least?

(01:21:03):
Fish. Animal.
Fish. Don't.
Don't start. Don't, don't.
You're starting and I'm not a fish is an animal.
No, it's not. I'm talking about an animal.
Animal like a real animal, like fish, fish, fish.
No fish is saying hard headed. I'm talking about like that's
like saying like a Ant. That's not an animal.

(01:21:25):
Fish aren't animals. That's like a that's a sea
creature. What?
It's a sea creature. A fish is an animal.
You can't go to the zoo and see a fish.
They don't have they don't have zoo fish.
There's actually so many fishes.There's fish zoos.
You don't go to a fish zoo. No, there's so many fish that
they have their own fucking attraction called an aquarium.

(01:21:47):
No, they don't. No, that's different.
That's like sharks and shit. Those are animals.
No, no, that's why they have different names.
Sharks and fish. OK, Why are you being political?
I'm talking about an animal likea monkey, zebra, tiger, bear,
OK? Oh my.
You asked me a question. And I gave you.
An answer, a wrong answer, Correct.

(01:22:08):
No, that's a scientific answer. Correct answer.
That's like saying a mammal. I'm talking about animals, not
mammals. Are animals mammals?
Are mammals Sea fish? You just ended yourself.
OK, How? If you would have said mammal,
OK, I would have gave you different answers.
Are fish mammals? You said animal.

(01:22:30):
Animal. That's not a fish.
Fish is an animal. No thing.
Something with paws is an animal.
Dog and fur, That's an animal. Paws and fur animal.
Is a lizard an animal? No, it's an insect.
No, it's a rodent. No, it's a lizard.
No. What's the thing of it's called?
What's a reptile? It's not an animal.
What are reptiles? Reptiles.
So it's a human. So are we animals?

(01:22:51):
Are we animals? Exactly.
It's a mammal. It's not an animal, which is an
animal. So we're animals.
Animals, are we animals, Mammals.
OK, Reptiles fit like, OK, that's what I'm saying.
Animal. Listen, listen.
You can't do this and do this atthe same time.
Colors, seasonal colors. Be careful.
Dull colors. So, you know, taxonomy

(01:23:12):
classification. Yeah, because I learned this in
7th grade. Dude, they need to take his
driver's license. They need to take his life.
They need to inform his guardian.
Somebody's his guardian, I thinkis this guy's sister.

(01:23:35):
The dude's Jewel cup needs to be.
Emptied right now. He's drowning and being starved
with the last bits. Of oxygen his brain needs.
This is just like I've never I've never been so concerned
for. Somebody before for his safety.
And this, look at the numbers, this is a third party account

(01:23:58):
just posting clips of this podcast.
It's got fucking 3000 likes. That's ridiculous.
Here's another. One, no, there was an ocean in
Chicago. There's not big league Big Lake.
It's not an ocean. Literally the lake of Michigan.
I have been in a few lakes in mylife.

(01:24:19):
Yes, they're brown and I can seethe end.
Yes, that was a ocean lake MI. What's the difference between a
lake and an ocean? You're kidding or dead ass.
Because if if the if the lake that was in Chicago is a lake.
I don't know what a lake and an ocean is.
A lake is completely enclosed byland.
Isn't everything enclosed by land?

(01:24:40):
Are you? Are you with me right now?
Technically, everything's enclosed by land.
No, all of Land's enclosed by water.
How if the earth hold on, are wedoing a railway?
The earth is 70% water. I don't think they're trying to.
Would you say the 30% is enclosing the 70?
The 70's enclosing the 30, yes or no?
When we're in Chicago, did you see the other part of the land
on that ocean lake? It's a big ass lake.

(01:25:03):
No ocean. That's a lake.
Did it run out to something to Canada?
Exactly. More land lake.
I didn't know there was an. Oh my gosh, you.
See, you know what he could havebroke?
Broke out. It's called a great leg.

(01:25:26):
Just wait till this guy hears about seas.
It's. Going to blow his goddamn mind.
See, I thought that was an interesting little tidbit is we
aren't the most retarded people around.
There's this one. There's this one guy who thinks
that the fruit loops have different flavors.
I saw that clip too. I think that I've never, I've

(01:25:49):
actually watched a whole episodeof this show but I'm pretty sure
just from the clips I've seen and it's just the one guy saying
the dumbest shit ever and then getting yelled.
At I hope he's in on it, but I know he's not because again he
said it was such. Confident.
That was an actor that felt verysincere.

(01:26:11):
That was fucking wild dude. I want some fucking Captain
Crunch right now. And Captain?
Crunch is good. The ability to go buy it but I
feel like I shouldn't. Dude, the other day, I think it
was Saturday, I did a thing thatI'm surprised I never thought of
before. All we had was Frosted Flakes.

(01:26:35):
And so I did Frosted Flakes, butI drizzled some chocolate syrup
on top of that shit. It was fantastic.
Game changer. It was amazing.
Do you like the strawberry syrupat all?
I was just going to say I'm going to try the strawberry
syrup next time I fuck yeah. Because they have like,
chocolate frosted Flakes, right?But they don't have strawberry.

(01:26:57):
Frosted Flakes. Yeah, they do.
I just actually just found that out a couple days ago.
Fucking. Wait, is that new?
Is that a reason? Yeah, it is.
OK, OK, good. I haven't been in the cereal
game for a minute, so I'm. I'm just a big bag of knock off
Fruity Pebbles guy. I get that sometimes the knock
off Fruity Pebbles hit harder than the oh geez.

(01:27:19):
Yeah. Well, you don't have to ration
them because it there's so much,there's so much in that bag.
Bountiful, Bountiful. Stones I I how I eat cereal is
basically how I handle tasks. I just get as much as possible
and then when I try to go somewhere with it, it spills all
over the place and causes problems.

(01:27:44):
People you care about Real disappointed.
But at least my dogs are happy. Oh man.
So did you choose Frosted Flakesor?
That was all that. That was just all we had, OK,
That day we had like. I thought we established your go
to but I forgot what it was. It's a fruity bubbles for sure.

(01:28:06):
Yeah. Right.
Otherwise there's like a S'more cereal that is pretty good.
It's got like the squares from. It's not the, it's not the old
school smarts that are like sticky as fuck.
Yeah, it's got the Cinnamon Toast Crunch base cereal.
Yeah. And then it's got like a
chocolate thing and then it's got a marshmallow and it's just

(01:28:27):
fine. You know, it's a really cool
cereal. Fucking treatment.
OK, tricks were good before theygot rid of the shakes.
Everything you could eat everything except for one
banana. And yeah, I'm talking like you
just had to have the fruit shapes.
Yeah, you eat one banana and youmake a little balls and it's

(01:28:49):
floating in there. And if you have your surface
tension right, it sits there andyour caretaker cannot get mad at
you. Yeah, that's true.
'Cause you're just in the middleof eating.
You're just eating food. Yeah, and you don't want the
last bits of cereal right now, you want the milk.
So you're gonna slowly just keepeating it.
Well, the the balls are just like spinning around, hitting
your mouth one of your friends like look.

(01:29:10):
At my favorite one was the greenone with the pink on it.
I think it was a watermelon, butthat didn't look like a
watermelon. Not any watermelon you ever see,
Yeah. I mean, you're the expert on
that though, so it's true. Can confirm, can confirm.
Watermelon people is a crazy thing to call them.

(01:29:32):
I've heard watermelon people andbasketball people.
Not street folk. No, that's racist.
Yeah, but just so everybody's aware, the guy that thought that
Lake MI was an ocean is a watermelon person.

(01:30:00):
It's OK, I'm not racist. My best friend's black and the
podcast that we correspond with most frequently, they're all not
white, I don't think. I think one of them's a minion
Filipino and and one of them's like Puerto Rican and I don't

(01:30:21):
know what the other one is, but he's probably some kind of
yellow. Yeah.
Have you talked to a poor or theChrome boys, I think are the
ones who coined the idea that Filipinos are Minions from the
Minions movie. But have you ever thought like,

(01:30:42):
have you just think about Filipinos specifically?
Think about Bobby Lee's niece? Yeah, that is the most Minion
coded person in the world. Strange that their proportions
are what they are. Little Oompa Loompa guys.

(01:31:04):
That's fair. That's right.
It's a squatty people. You're very squatty.
The watermelon people are a veryaggressive people, quick to
scary, quick to anger. It is.
So, you know, it's funny when you take a dog and you breed it

(01:31:29):
for a long time in a specific area, the dog changes, right?
And we call that a different breed.
But when you take a person and you bring it to another area and
they change color, we call it a different race.
And I feel like that's racist. Yes.

(01:31:51):
Is am I, am I correct that blackversus white or white versus
Native American or what it like all the different types of guys?
Yeah, is the same difference of all the different types of dogs,
except like dogs were purpose built.
Yeah, yeah. Like it's the same difference,

(01:32:14):
right? Yeah, like it happened because
of the same things other than itbeing on purpose.
Like if you follow. The well, I guess white people
were on purpose too. The evil doctor Yaqoob made us
No What you ever heard of Yacoob?
The evil tricks for Doctor Yacoob who made white people as
a punishment for black people. He was a black guy, but he was a

(01:32:35):
self hating black guy. I can show you those are weird.
Yeah, I ran into. A couple of those, that's
fucking. Weird.
We coined the term nisreal the other day, so hold on, I'll show
you. I feel like Israel would have
been a better. 10 Hold on there's.
Recent circumstances I. There's a there's a, there's

(01:33:00):
context in Israel. I'll get to it.
Yeah. Yakub, the evil scientist that
made white people. What the hell?
We can get into it some other time.
So he so the live chat replay got taken down.
That's who's got Waterhead, yeah.
He's got a big brain. He was smart enough to know that

(01:33:21):
he needed to make white people. Jesus, is this some fucking?
It's Nation of Islam lore, not not Islam.
This sounds like some Scientology stuff 'cause he has
like the same fucking hairline as.
Yes, Nation of Islam is like an Islamic version of Scientology.

(01:33:43):
OK? Like it's it's kind of the same
type of bullshit. It's just a cult that Louis
Farrakhan is a part of. Literally not kidding.
And so was Malcolm X. Does that mean that they got
Cassius Clay too? I don't know if he was Nation of
Islam. Well, it's kind of like the
Mormon church, where like a lot of them are just like.

(01:34:05):
Muhammad Ali so I feel like theygot him too.
Well, a lot of black guys changetheir name to Muhammad when they
go to prison. Because they change, they
convert to Islam. That's like a huge thing in
prison. Black guys convert to Islam like
on a weird scale, I. Am so confused right now.
You didn't know that? No.

(01:34:27):
Yeah. I didn't know it was related to
prison at. All well, I don't know if if
Muhammad Ali's is necessarily, but yeah.
I think he like tried to not volunteer for military service,
but I don't think he was ever incarcerated, No.
Could you be the cop that tried to arrest him?
No, that would fucking suck so bad.

(01:34:49):
Yeah. Starting to get the handcuffs
obvious too quick. Nation of Islam is a lot like
Mormons. It's a weird cult, but there are
some good ones. And I don't mean I don't mean it
the way I say the way I talk about Ben.
It's a different kind of way I'msaying it.

(01:35:12):
But anyway, so the news real thing.
So the live chat for that streamon Wednesday got taken down or
it wasn't showing up. So Hugh goes, all right, I'll
figure out how to get the live chat like up on the screen
during the stream. And I go, well boys, no more N
towers for me 'cause I go in anddelete all of my risky chats

(01:35:33):
later and he goes only Nisreal Towers and I go, what did I say?
I said something, but then I go,I said something.
I literally said something, something, something black.
He's Hebrew and Israelites. Do you know what the Black
Hebrew Israelites are? I think it's related to Nation

(01:35:55):
of Islam, but it's the belief that black people are the
original Jews. The chosen people.
Which I'm not against, I don't like the current one does.
That mean that black people killed Jesus?
No, so so the belief is that by the time this is crazy, this is

(01:36:19):
some very, very deep lore. By the time they, the Jews got
to where they were when like theJews that were Jews when Jesus
was born weren't the Jews weren't like Jews.
They were fake Jews by then. OK, so the people like this is
the belief is that they were thepeople calling themselves Jews,
like the Pharisees. We're not actually Jews.

(01:36:41):
They were like Canaanites or whatever, which I don't know,
it's all brown to me, but. Who would voluntarily claim
that? That they're Jews.
I don't know Benjamin Netanyahu.That's not his name.
He's like a German guy. Everybody in the the Likud party

(01:37:02):
are just European guys who change their name to sound more
Arabic. Not a joke, not a conspiracy
theory. It's the truth.
It's. A conspiracy fact?
Yeah, now I don't know. I can't.
I can't describe motive. I don't know the motive.

(01:37:22):
Maybe he just liked the word Netanyahu.
Everyone says his name and they happen to celebrate.
And it sounds like a celebrate. Yeah, that could be it.
But I know that Michael Bloomberg definitely changed his
name to Michael Bloomberg so he didn't sound like a Nazi because
his name is like Wilhelm Kumpf or something like that.

(01:37:42):
Like it's it's something real German, Billy Kumpf.
I know, I know that his first name is Wilhelm in real life,
and it's the same kind of sick name.
We have politicians do this all the time.
It's the same as O'Rourke, the guy that ran against the senator
from Texas, the one that ran away during the freeze.

(01:38:06):
Cruz. Yeah.
Teddy. Teddy bear Cruz.
Yeah, he the guy that ran against him.
I can't remember what his first name is now, but his real first
name is Francis, and he changed it to something Hispanic
sounding when he went into politics.
It's the same type of thing. It's all Emilio.

(01:38:26):
Estevez. That one's real.
He just took his mom's last name.
His dad was. The white guy.
Yeah, his. Family changed their names when
they got into Hollywood. It was the opposite.
No, no, no. I do not think that the whitest
guy on the planet's last name was Estevez.
Yeah, there's no way. Emilio Estevez and Charlie

(01:38:49):
Sheen. Yeah, his dad is not Estevez.
I could have sworn Emilio Estevez's mom is where that name
came from. I think that's just his birth
birth name. Yeah, let's see.
Definitely does not look anything like his brother.

(01:39:09):
Really. That's the whitest guy on the
planet. There's no way that he's his
last name was Estevez. Then type in real name.
I'm trying to find his first name because I can't remember.
Then why are his siblings both named Estevez except for Charlie
Sheen? Martin, Shane.

(01:39:33):
Yeah, look at his fucking birth.Name.
Holy shit, Martin Sheen's a brown.
I told you that. More like Martin Bean.
Nice, I did not know this at all.
This changes everything. The Chill Prison Podcast has
just been watching Russell slowly descend to hell.

(01:39:56):
Pretty much. Ramon Gerard.
Antonio Estevez, yeah. Is he from Spain or something?
Would that explain why? What's happening?
Probably I'm not. Dayton, OH, No, I guess not.

(01:40:16):
Wait, wait, wait. Crushing by crushed forceps?
What? I don't know man.
I'm looking up his great granddad's name.
I think Francisco Estevez in 1898.

(01:40:37):
Where did he come from? Let's get an ELC on Francisco
Estevez. It stands for Early Life.
Check, by the way, a Spanish composer who gained.
So Spanish. Yeah.
Is it actually from Spain or didthey just Yeah, it was Spain.
Yep. Well it's definitely not the
same person because he got famous in 1970s so it's a
different guy. Yep, Yep.

(01:41:04):
Galicia. Galicia, Spain.
So yeah, they are white. Nevermind, dodged a bullet
there. You almost lost them by your
respect for the Mighty Ducks. Yeah, isn't it crazy the plot of
that movie is a guy is given a choice by a judge to either go

(01:41:29):
to jail for drunk driving or coach a hockey team of kids?
It's. Like, just send me to jail.
I don't know, encouraging a bunch of teenage boys to fight
each other is actually. The judge should be disbarred.
Why? He's endangering children.

(01:41:50):
You know who drives people to their games when they're on a
tiny team? The coach I.
Just imagine them all piling into like a shitty Ford Ranger
that's obviously been in accidents.
He's having them blow. And he's like.
Blow into this so we can get to the game on time.

(01:42:11):
At least he's not in his pants this time.
Come on when you get to the game.
He turns around, throws his arm over the fucking seat, leaks
back into the bed of the truck. Buckle up boys.
Just kidding. Immediately takes off into a
fire hydrant. Oh man, that's hilarious.

(01:42:36):
I like that they named a movie ahockey movie after chronic
masturbation goon. You don't know about gun?
No, and you're forbade from fucking typing that into the
word computer. Typing it on your phone?
Don't. Hold on, I can I have a good way
of doing this? American Pie.

(01:43:03):
Spin off. No.
And then I go to Sean William Scott.
I couldn't remember his name. And then I go to movies.
I expected the list to be a lot shorter than that for some
reason. And then there it is.
Oh, that's a sequel, Goon 2. This is well after Gooning was a

(01:43:23):
thing, by the way, 2017. Wait, when was gooning
established? At the beginning of time.
Well, I mean, Abraham, when did we put it?
When did we put a name to it? That's what I want to.
Know you know that is true. Abraham pleasured himself in the
Bible. Were people mad about?

(01:43:47):
It no a guy. Slipped on it.
A guy who played a very prominent role in my life will
say that I have a lot of issues.From convinced me that
masturbation was OK because Abraham did it.
Was it your older brother? No, it was Bruce the guy that

(01:44:11):
hurt me. Oh God my.
See, if you read the Bible in the right state of mind, you can
justify anything you do. That's why I'm.
Hearing the nation of Israel, where is Goon?

(01:44:34):
There it is. See 6° of separation away from
goon. Everything leads to goon.
Yeah, that's true. That is the new fucking.
If you masturbate in the bathroom too many times, you're
going to get horny when you poop.
Is that a thing? I don't know if you ring a bell

(01:44:58):
and give a dog food love. Yourself.
Yeah, Into toilet boners. Now.
The smell of feces gives you bones and then eventually you're
just gay. That's that's Germans.
That's how Germans became a thing.
They just stunk for too long andthey didn't shave for too long

(01:45:20):
and now they're into poop and sex and poop.
And. Sex.
That's a Chrome boy's bit. I don't have any original bits.
Shiza Crankin. Oh my God.

(01:45:43):
Oh, Deuce and. Deuce and goon.
I like that one. So Speaking of deuce, there's a
vehicle called a deuce and 1/2. Yeah, and I drive one of those
every day. It's.
My Grimble and I talk about because he was in Vietnam, he

(01:46:06):
would always talk about riding on a deuce now.
It's a Toyota. It's a fine car.
What are you? Complaining about every time you
said it, I was like, me too, I'mriding on one.
He never knew what I was talkingabout.
Oh my gosh. My stomach hurts. -2 we love you

(01:46:31):
guys. All right, goodbye.
Goon Goon 2. Goon Messiah.
Goon House of Trainees. Goon House Harkonnen, The
Navigators of Goon. Sisterhood of Goon.

(01:46:52):
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