June 30, 2025 • 69 mins
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
You are now entering the prism. That goddamn bass goes so hard
dude. Yeah, they don't hear that
though. We do, and that's enough for me.
You. Want to hear my impression of
(00:20):
the Santa Claus? Hell yeah I do, Russell.
It's it's the Santa Claus if he were a guy that had ATV show
where he uses a hammer to fix things.
I like that, thank you the addedvalue to my life.
Did you ever watch Boy Meets World?
Yes. Did you recognize when Morgan
disappeared? No do.
(00:42):
You know who Morgan was? No, the little sister.
Oh my God, yeah. That was mentioned on something
I was listening to this morning and I was like what the fuck?
They're right. Yeah, that's weird.
Like she was present enough for like me to know.
Like looking back, there was one.
(01:03):
Mm Hmm. But she just disappeared.
Dude she must have asked too much for the contract renewal.
Or did the actress die and they were like out of respect?
Well the conversation I was hearing was in reference to her
doing porn later so I don't think she died in or like that's
not why she was gone. Did she do it voluntarily or was
(01:25):
she? I don't that wasn't.
Mentioned Was she Epstein into? That wasn't mentioned.
Being a movie star of a different variety.
So I don't know, oh, it's FamilyDollar.
I want to get this off my chest.It's very interesting they call
it Family Dollar when it's the only groups of black people that
(01:47):
go there. They don't call it Daddy Dollar.
Right, but without a daddy, are you really a family?
I mean they made a song about itliterally saying we are family.
I'm pretty sure that the melanincount like much like metal
chlorine would determine that they're severe Jedi.
(02:07):
That they're on the dark side. No, no, no.
I mean they can be swayed as we all can, but now are.
We saying that Anakin is black and can say it.
Only when he becomes Darth Vader.
OK, fair enough. Do you think that's what
happened? Like Mustafar is what happens
(02:29):
when you say it when you don't have the past.
Maybe everyone else gets the high ground and just beats the
brakes off of you, turn you intoa quad.
I mean that that has happened. People are wild out there.
(02:55):
I don't like how I said that. Yeah.
I'm not. It's like the nerdiest way that
I could have ever said, John. Just so you know, my pass is.
Difficulties. Yeah, John, your pass is still
valid even though I said it the way I did.
I apologize for making it seem as though your pass was not
(03:16):
valid, but you have a manager special code.
It can be redeemed once, so don't.
I don't remember. That don't be flipping with it.
Contentious in any way? After what I just said, after
the way that my voice sounded, my tambour is like God awful
right now. Oh yeah, someone's going to play
that back, specifically that cutand be like this guy gave you
(03:37):
the pass. Yeah, that's true.
Yeah. And then?
He's going to get beat up and then they're going to finally
find like a leaked Jon doesn't. Jon doesn't hear colour though
because I sent a picture of a giant wrench in my hand
yesterday and I said for turningmy giant nuts and John replied
with I'm very disappointed to find out that Russ is black or
(03:58):
Russ is white. And I was like, somebody's
confused. I am the whitest guy I know.
You're the second whitest guy you know.
Probably got me beat out by a giraffe snake.
(04:19):
Yes, I was trying to like, decide what to buy a giraffe's
neck meant. Not him standing straight up
like if he were in a full like dead Sprint in the Olympics.
The summer ones the only ones that anyone care about and neck
was like fucking leaning forward.
He had his weird 2 horns that darn actually horns protruding
forward. Yeah.
(04:39):
What are those things? Are they antennae?
I think they're like Kung Fu node strikers, you know, like
those weird ninja ball key chains that people have.
Yeah, for self-defense. Kubaton, can you give me my my
goat, your juice? Fuck yeah brother, give me a
give me a clink on that one thatwas not audible.
(05:07):
Yeah. Kubaton Yeah, I think those are
just so they can practice Kung Fu on each other.
Head Kubatons they might be. I didn't mean to click that.
I meant to click the other thingthat lets me see that.
Here we go. That's pretty sick though, you
can just have Malt ninja stuff on you like the platypus who has
(05:30):
his ankle fins or ankle blades. Yeah, ankle spike.
Yeah, Platy. People have like just Spurs
built in. Yeah, their venom glands are
connected to it. Dude, could you imagine?
Like where would ours be if we had venom glands?
And don't say penis. Damn it.
(05:55):
I want them on my elbows. You're limiting me here.
I want you to dig. Elbows is good, knees maybe.
I would like, I would like them on my knees.
That'd be really satisfying withelbow.
You can't like look someone in the eyes when you inventimate
them. So knees I feel like would have
(06:16):
an advantage unless you do like a downward chop.
She's like I. Cut it the.
Fuck out. That's not me.
What is it? It's our boss today's He's our
(06:40):
benefactor. Bruce Wayne is in there,
clicking away. Who I I call straight Robin.
You get to be gay Robin. Even though Gay Robin's my
favorite Robin, you're still GayRobin.
He's. The best Robin, but no one likes
him. Yeah.
I like him, I. Want to be Red Hood?
No, but he's not a collaborator,so.
(07:02):
And that's the only way that I get anything done, definitely.
Also wears a white hood so you can't beat him.
Yikes. He is probably the most racist
one also. He got beat up in a factory,
didn't he? Like get another opportunity to
be like a good Robin, but they killed him off again because he
wasn't popular. No, he like becomes a good guy,
(07:28):
No. I know that, I know that.
I'm saying didn't he have another chance where it like
before it became Red Hood and then like there's another
popularity though on which one to kill off and then he lost it
twice. How am I hearing that?
I think it's coming into the board somehow.
You might have to unplug the piano.
(07:57):
Do we have a mic out there? Oh.
You know what? It's coming through 7.
Handled. It's coming through the vocal
booth. That's hilarious.
I mean to make sure that I didn't push any buttons.
(08:17):
Russell, you push buttons every moment of your existence.
Motherfucker, you pushed my buttons all day.
Get wrecked. Today is not the day.
You're the one. Who chose to sit next to me for
the entirety of this day? I.
Wanted you to smell what I was making and it was poop.
It was we. Left my diaper.
What's wild is it happened twice.
(08:40):
We left for break. I came back into the office and
I smelled it and then we left and got back into my car and I
smelled it again and I was like,this is a problem.
Well, I wasn't actually making poop, I was talking about the
shit product that I was making. I smelled like I smelled
(09:01):
vengeance. I smelled the Batman coming out
of you. I am definitely sweating some
bruise. I got a drop of bruise you.
Shut your mouth. You know, speak about her father
like that. He's right there.
Oh God, I have an itchy nut. OK, we got to talk about fish
(09:24):
tank. No, it's.
Important that the ladies here that we are talking about fish
tank. And by very well by ladies, I
mean the coalition forces that we have.
Yeah, yeah. I like to think that the the
groups of creators that we're with, it's kind of like like a
(09:48):
World War 2 era group of countries getting together, you
know. Can you name one?
The Axis powers? I think it's that, yeah, I think
we're Italy, although, although Jordan does look more like
Mussolini than either of us. That's fair.
(10:09):
Mostly just because he's got no hair on his head because he
shaved his head, but other than that you'd.
Be Putin with how you're smelling so you'd be on the
allies. Side I fixed.
Your car's AC call. Hitler only because I love my
dogs the way Hitler loved his dogs team.
(10:30):
Let's band together for the betterment of the podcast.
It's not. Happening.
And force Russell to fix his fucking AC It's.
Not happening. You don't get a reprieve until
you go home. Why can't you just enjoy your
car? You don't even eat take lunch in
your car anymore. You just you've changed,
Russell. You've changed with the season.
(10:51):
Stinks in there. I thought you cleaned it out.
I did. It's is it back?
It's not as bad, but that's not why it stinks.
Stinks 'cause you're sweating into the seats, yes.
Stop. It stinks because I'm making
poopy in my car. Could you imagine if if our
(11:15):
third team member if we took your car to go eat lunch just.
Vomit on the floor. She just resides.
Yeah, she opens the door and resides.
I don't think I could collaborate with these goons.
(11:36):
Does she look like a Justine? Who?
3rd. Team member No, and I don't like
that name at all for some reason.
Frankie. With an IE.
I could do that. Yeah.
Well, I don't want to say it like that.
That was weird. Don't have sex with her 13I.
(12:01):
Don't plan to. That's like the opposite of your
taste. Yeah, the polar opposite of your
taste. Female who?
Who? What kid would fucking show up
(12:22):
to this website? I don't.
Know, I think it's a it's just fandom.
It's not. Yeah, OK.
I'm really trying here and I'm not finding a a place that has
just like a rolodex of characters.
Dude. It's important that we cover
this Shane, Shane, Shane. Russell, stop.
(12:56):
Does this have info contestants?Thank you.
OK, everybody's favorite. Who the hell is Freeloader?
Freeloader. Where's that?
Where does it say bottom right? I don't know how it works, but
Freeloader is not a person. It's a character.
(13:17):
It's a type of contestant. I don't think they get to win
anything. They just hang out and fuck
things up. So three people have left, dude.
Go back to Arya. Arya So Arya, why is his?
Head wrinkly. Did he just Is he a newborn?
He has a condition. He's a newborn.
(13:38):
I think he has. I think he has too much skin on
his head or something but. It's.
This is a very flattering picture of this fucker.
It gets worse. He's a preemie.
Well, he's there. A preemie on fish tank.
His skull hasn't formed. Yet fish tank.
(14:12):
So he aspires to be SpongeBob. SpongeBob is his role model.
That's pretty much all I know about him.
So our job is to watch him harass other housemates with his
presence. Yeah, and you can see here it.
Doesn't look like he was given the opportunity to develop
social skills because of his appearance, correct?
(14:33):
Is that a fair assessment? Yes.
So he just inflicts his presenceon others, right?
I. Believe so.
I don't watch this shit so I don't actually.
Know guys, you want to play a game of Boggle?
Does he? Looks like that guy.
Is that what he does? I'm not.
I have no idea. I don't like this as a concept.
(14:53):
I like this as a concept, but inpractice all it has done is make
my phone vibrate way too often. Do you pay for this?
They No, I don't. You can Kentucky, I don't know.
That guy is Hitler. Mustache.
He does. I don't know who that is.
It looks like they're in some type of competition at the
moment. What is happening?
(15:15):
Trying. To lasso something, let me see
if. I can see Oh my flashlights on
and it has been on the entire time I've been here.
Good, good. I'm happy about that.
Let me see. Let me go on the this.
Looks like a snuff film. Yeah, it kind of does.
Guys, we're looking at the director feed for the camera on
fish tank and they. Are in a basement, a concrete
floor. Do they keep all these videos
(15:37):
available for people to go back or well, they?
Cut them up and yeah, you can find them all over the place and
I'm looking at this right now onthe discord to see what the fuck
is going on. Is it worth?
It to tell them the time stamp. There is no time stamp.
This is live I'm. Saying yeah for us.
Oh yeah. It's that time of.
(15:58):
Recording. June 27th, 27th at 4:00. 13.
Yeah, I'm gonna ask. Ask the squad.
Recording an episode right now. We are watching the Tank at the
(16:30):
moment. What is?
Asian girls making a marital. Aid so she's 19 she's.
Making a rustic marital aid. She's 19, and the reason I know
that is because it's a big thingof contention right now was the
(16:54):
age of. Consent in Australia like 24
this. Is America.
Exactly. So what's the point?
That guy, I think that's the guythat's definitely a a drug
addict. He's going to be after this.
At least someone peed on the floor next to that carpet.
(17:17):
For sure, yeah, this is a bad thing that we're watching.
You see, either you stop, I hateit out of bed.
Please kill yourself now. I don't have to.
Nope. OK, we lost feed the.
Feed died. Hmm, I'm.
(17:39):
Glad you showed me this, Russell.
Me too. Oh, what Erica lost.
OK, it's a bunker. It's a straight beard.
These beers, these last needs all the same to go outside.
Why is he on a prayer rug? I have no idea what's going on
(18:03):
20. 5 seconds. OK, so we're at a little 108.
Minutes. I hate this, Yeah.
It's just not for me. I do enjoy watching the guys
breakdown everything that's going on but I digested in my
own time. But my favorite character is
this one right here. Raquel.
(18:26):
Rachel. Why can't I click on Rachel?
She's gone. I don't fuck.
We know. Hold on, Let me pull her up.
Russell. We.
Accept you for who you are, faggot.
Finally, it's fucking been a while.
(18:50):
Rachel from Fish Tank Live This is Rachel.
You. She has diseases and she
complained and then quit. Is she a village bicycle or
something? Is that how she earned them?
Were they gifted upon her on birth?
(19:11):
What are we talking about? Did.
She earn the disease did. She earn the diseases by being
the village. Bicycle kind.
Of just the type of person that makes up fake diseases A.
Hypochondriac. Yeah, she has, like,
fibromyalgia, so like, kind of just hurts everywhere and
(19:33):
doesn't recognize that maybe it's the obesity in the gout.
Gotcha. Yeah, that's also a guy, so she
well. Don't misgender her, Russell.
That's rude. It that's a man spent.
Most of its time laying on its bed or sitting on its bed and
(19:58):
apparently it brought like 6 suitcases full of things and a
lot of it was pills. And are you?
Sure they're not shirts. Just a shirt.
The. Junkie guy stole her pills which
so Sam gave her. AI think Sam did?
(20:20):
I don't know. I don't know even know if he's
really there, but very often I don't know how this works.
Sam Hyde never existed. He was just a contract of all of
our the. Producers gave her like a safe
to keep her pills and then she lost.
She forgot the combination. Oh.
She's she's just a general inconvenience, yeah.
Yeah, but so a lot of times she would, she had at the beginning,
(20:46):
they gave her basically full immunity so they could, she
would because they knew she was going to quit.
So like, she just didn't participate in any of the
challenges and was just allowed to like continue existing.
And yeah, so she's just been awful for the entirety of her
(21:07):
stay. Let's see if the boys responded
to me. They did not.
Why would? Oh, somebody responded.
They are surviving. And then somebody, somebody
responded with a picture of the movie What's Eating Gilbert
(21:28):
Grape? The one where Leonardo DiCaprio
is retarded. But.
I feel like that's the most accurate but.
It says what's eating Gilbert grapes.
Big fat wet pussy. Love that.
I'd love that. Also like the not so subtle edit
of the guy's face. So I'm just going to reply with
(21:52):
thank you. That's been quite informative
and accurate. Surprised you?
Guys never cease to let me, I mean amaze me.
So that was Myron Gaines, not the retarded faggot that's on
YouTube, the one that is in the discord.
Different guy, same name and doctor post Nut butter.
(22:15):
Good I. Am working on trying to get an
episode cover with all of our main characters on it.
So it'll be an ice cube. Well, it'll be me, Dave Grohl,
and you, a chocolate ice cube head guy.
(22:35):
And then because you have not picked a persona and then I have
trained the AI to make a man made of peanut butter wearing a
lab coat. That's not a problem.
I'm having a I'm having trouble and I've made the Orthodox
goblins laying priest. That's not a problem.
I'm having trouble getting it togive me a picture of a young
(22:59):
Vincent D'onofrio from Full Metal Jacket.
Can I be Thomas the Tank? Engine.
Yeah, you can be Thomas the WankEngine.
That is probably better. That is the best name for a
Thomas Tank Engine style flashlight in the world.
There's no way that's not a thing.
Google Tomas the wank engine. I really.
(23:32):
Wish that my finances did not. Oh my gosh, yeah.
There she blows. Oh.
Love that they go to see that middle one.
This. Left.
Down, down one left all the way.Love that.
Yeah, I've. Seen this picture?
(23:53):
And. Then there's just a So from here
I thought this was a Turkey in apan.
I don't know what peanut butter is that peanut butter?
What is this pattern right here and how does it repeat?
It looks like a chocolate Christmas orange.
I'm concerned. I don't know what that is.
(24:15):
I don't like it. Well, we're just going to close
up, so yeah, we have. Rachel why?
Why isn't the Rotary engine known as the wank engine?
It's. Called the Winkler engine, isn't
it Winkle? Rotary.
Yeah, yeah. Why don't we call it the wank
engine? We could call it because it
would hurt we. Could call it a Thomas and then
people in the know would know. I mean, did they?
(24:38):
Eliminate someone? Oh no, it's still the same, no.
Jen got kicked off almost immediately because he was a
pervert and looking up skirts and you would think that's fine.
No on this show. I wouldn't.
You should watch some of it, youwould know.
(24:59):
Oh, these are all sick disgusting freaks I've watched.
Enough Russell. But.
Anyway, that man has a ball sack.
He. Does he does?
Anyway, Everybody's got the hotsfor Ellie.
Because she's a child. Yeah.
(25:19):
Nice. Specifically.
Yeah, Yep. Because I am growing
increasingly and more increasingly concerned that
people who watch this are pedophiles.
I don't want to say that for sure, but but I have a sneaky
(25:40):
suspicion that there's a problemwith what's happening here.
Why? Are they cutting holes in each
other's clothing? Is that also a challenge?
I don't know. Nobody will tell me what's
happening. I don't think we need to know
what's happening. What's happening here?
EW. What are you doing, guy?
(26:07):
Let me in. Is that what they say?
Dude, I don't think that we needto be watching this show.
It's usually not this fucking creepy like.
Are you serious? It literally every frame of this
looks like a snuff film. I know.
(26:30):
That's what I'm saying. No one.
In here is dressed appropriately.
I don't know what appropriate dress for the situation would be
that's. What I'm saying, But it's not
bad. I don't know what's going on,
Russell. Why have you showed me this?
What are you doing? Are you trying to fucking draw
parallels 'cause we're in a big space?
Just in like a mansion is. This what this does to you?
Is this where you feel you're at?
(26:51):
Are you safe? So.
Here, look at this. This is like the setting of now
this is Rachel's bedroom. But like this is it's just a
house normally or like this likethey're like on a couch, but
that's. Not even cool and it's just
cause the subject matter that we're looking at.
Let me. See if I can 'cause this is a
(27:12):
horrible representation of some,like I don't even know what's
going on. OK, so this is the view of,
well, it's a Lego representationof the view of the house.
This is not from. Season 1, here's another season.
So like it's just a it's usuallyjust a regular house.
(27:35):
They have stuffed them in a bunker for some specific
challenge and I don't know what it is.
Like I said, I don't pay attention to this shit.
I don't see a bathroom. I did.
It's right. Rachel is not a toilet dude.
It's right here next to this guythe piss.
(27:57):
Puddle. Yeah, dude, you'd be the first
person to bend a fresh biscuit on the ground.
I don't need to be. Look at this, sis.
Sergey. Naji Naji Naji 80, 307090. 990
what fucking number station bullshit's happening.
(28:17):
Dangerous Caleb 734 bucks tall. Caleb, this is crazy.
I. Don't like this?
So usually like the TTS is really funny.
Like, I can't even come up with a clever one here, but.
When they just do it to intentionally annoy everyone,
(28:39):
yeah. I like turned it on the other
day just to see what everybody was talking about on the
Discord. And it was the IT was when
Rachel was leaving and packing up and everybody was helping her
reluctantly pack her things. And because she wasn't.
Going to get attention anymore yeah, all she all she does even
OK the only reason she agreed tothis is to get attention.
(29:01):
The only reason she fucking gaveher pills to a addict was
because she wanted attention. The reason why she lost her code
was for attention 'cause no one wants to look at her.
Yeah, she is rough and I apologize 'cause I just
misgendered him. It she it, whatever.
Shit. She.
(29:23):
Dude, this is this is bad TV. This is a problem.
I didn't know how angry you weregoing to get about this.
I don't. You weren't going to like it.
I don't feel. Like this has been good in any
meaningful sense. OK, what did they win?
(29:44):
Like fucking $2000. So they got kicked out of the
house like the whole production last season.
The I think the grand prize was supposed to be like 6 grand.
Yeah, exactly. Not worth it.
Yeah. And then for like some zoning
reasons that I guess I don't know the whole story, but they
got kicked out of the house theywere using.
(30:05):
And so they decided to finish the show off just kind of like
going around Las Vegas. And this guy, this black guy
named Bert, who is everybody's favorite human being.
And I kind of like him too. He's a gay, autistic black man.
I love him, like so much. He won and they gave him $3 and
(30:26):
left him in the desert. So people knowing that still
signed up for the next season, yeah.
So the first and second season, people did not know what they
were signing up for. They thought it was going to be
something else. And that was like the point of
the show last season. I believe they all knew except
(30:49):
Bert didn't know because he's schizophrenic and doesn't really
recognize his surroundings like 1.
Of his personalities knew. Yeah, maybe.
And then I think, but this season they all know what
they're getting themselves into.And in fact, Rachel was like a
huge fan of the show and was like, 'cause like, I guess on
her chair she'll say whatever she wants.
(31:11):
Well, when they introduced her like they had for like her title
card, it said constantly sends us ideas for the show, like
thousands of emails about her ideas for the show over the past
few years or something like that.
And so that's funny. I wouldn't as a fan want to be
associated with him. With Sam Rachel Oh, as a fan, I
(31:39):
would not want to be associated with Sam.
He's funny. He is hilarious.
Sam Hyde is fucking funny. He's one of the.
Funniest human beings on the planet.
He keeps doing mass shootings and terrorist attacks.
And apparently it was the ghost of Kiev.
But you don't remember the ghostof Kiev?
(32:01):
That one fighter pilot that was him the whole time.
Hell yeah. Yeah.
But stop it, Rea. You are.
Invading personal space. That's not what SpongeBob would
do. That's a boundary right there.
This is. He's standing inches and I say 2
(32:26):
inches away from another. This is breathing down.
Incredible. This is not good TV.
This would just craft anxiety inmy wife if she were to watch
this. This is not.
Oh, is Hitler about to tape his ear shut or something?
What? The hell is he doing?
He's duct taping something. Oh, it failed on him.
(32:53):
Idiot on TV. Yeah, this is what the Where'd
the guy with no shirt come from?You don't think that was
butthole yoga man? Oh yeah, that might have been
him. Let's see if he's still where he
is. No, he's still there.
(33:13):
Nope. This is a different that's a
female person. So anyway, what's cool?
Again, not been participating inthis, but this season they're
doing a an entire Stock Exchangefor the contestants.
(33:34):
Oh, I picked up on that pretty quickly.
And so Rachel's down. 2.5 points, which is.
Crazy because she's no longer a part of the show.
How? Is Seth up 13?
I don't even know who Seth is. I think he's the guy that
replaced Rachel. Is Seth Who is the ball sack man
Rea? That's.
(33:55):
Right this. Is Seth?
He is the guy that replaced Rachel, I believe.
Yeah, Drench the socket. OK, I didn't know Derange was a
(34:17):
girl when they were talking about them.
I thought Derange was being referred to as a guy.
So there's two whores on the show. 1 of them is a little
young for me to be calling a whore, but I digest.
But yeah, the TTS is very funny.These people are hilarious.
(34:39):
I so if the show was strictly who could just sit it out the
longest? No Adderall.
Russ wins every time hands down.They would hate me because I
would be asleep the entire time but that shit would be so easy.
(35:01):
But I don't know what the rules are that get you kicked off and.
This is a months long thing, right?
It's. Six weeks, I believe this might
be the most fucked day on the show so far.
Yeah, that's I agree 6. Weeks for six grand.
Yeah, And I don't know what the prize is for this season.
I think it's been different every season, but it's not very
(35:21):
much. We could look at the info and
see so are. They liberal arts graduates or
something. They don't earn money anyway.
So it doesn't say what the grandprize is.
They're not allowed to. They just say win the grand
(35:42):
prize. Says no Internet, no privacy, no
weed. Yeah, but they can drink, which
is good. There's like a bell, apparently.
So what I've gathered is, is if you start having a beef with
somebody, you guys can go and ring a bell and it will summon
like the producers and the producers will set up like a
(36:04):
challenge for you guys to do to like settle your beef.
But somebody told, I can't remember who, but somebody told
one of the contestants that it was a beer bell.
And so he just kept ringing it and they kept giving him drinks.
(36:26):
Hell yeah, I'm going to go piss,OK?
All right, to finish off the thefish tank chat, I got some some
context for what the fuck is going on while we were on a
little break for a second. So Doctor Percival nut butter
(36:52):
said they were there were supposedly legal troubles in the
old house. So they moved everyone into this
Fallout Shelter last night. But it could be the quote UN
quote 2 week twist that people were talking about.
And Freddie has a headache, so. Do headaches get you out of?
(37:15):
Challenges. I have no idea what the headache
has to do with anything, but I appreciate the detail.
It's time for Bruce to take his medicine.
Yeah. So yeah.
That's enough fish talk. What the hell?
It's Patrick. Hi, It's me, your best friend.
(37:40):
Patrick's dog. Hi, buddy.
There's a naked man in that suit.
He's banging a dog in that poor guy's thigh.
I. Came all the way from the king
bottom to watch your fly. Patrick wears new.
(38:00):
Balances. Face OH.
Buddy, you wouldn't move, believe it.
Me and SpongeBob this. Docs as inserting.
An objectory, links of the sponge, a whole kebab.
Very cool, very base. I'm glad we got a happy ending
to that disturbing bit of and I don't ever want to discuss this
(38:23):
again. I want to pretend it never
happened. Is that cool with you?
It's. My preference there's.
A reason that I wasn't watching it in the first place.
Didn't know it was going to get that fucking dark immediately,
but that was the most disturbingshit I've ever seen.
Russell, I'm still puzzled why you showed me it in the first
place. SEO.
Cool. It's the week where all of
(38:45):
everybody in the Coalition made an episode about fish tank, so I
felt the need to at least bring it up.
I'm so sorry. I'm a.
Coattail surfing motherfucker. I am.
So sorry, I don't ever want to talk about it again.
I don't even know if I'm going to watch so.
(39:07):
Are they allowed to take each other for test drives?
You know what I mean? Is it encouraged?
Not outright, but I. Mean it's definitely encouraged
for somebody to take the little one by the chat.
I think everybody wanted to see that happen, but I don't know if
(39:32):
Sam. I think we know Sam is
encouraging a lot and that mightbe some of it.
There's cameras every well, I mean, obviously there's just one
big room now, but there was cameras like in every room
except for the bathrooms. Do you think it's?
24/7 casting couches Do you think it does I.
Think Sam does a lot of things that we don't need to talk
(39:54):
about. I think Sam had a 16 year old
girlfriend at one time that we don't talk about WAS.
He, 14. No.
Because then I could be like, cool, no?
He was in Rhode Island or whatever.
Yeah, he was in his 30s. They had AO, the AOC in that
state. Oh, no, is 16.
(40:17):
That is what I heard the other day.
That is unfortunate 1. Of the other, I think it was the
the high tea boys. We're talking about it.
I don't know a whole lot about Sam other than I enjoy when he
works his way into like the mainstream because it's usually
disturbing and dark. Yep.
(40:38):
Yeah, it's still my favorite clip of him is when he
threatened Hassan Piker with murder in.
The game of Wii Sports, no. In real life.
And he says it. Have you not seen that?
No. Oh man.
(40:58):
OK, hold on. I believe it that it happened.
Sam Hyde, this is like a great clip to end the the talk on
because this is just this is great.
I fucking love this. So he was he did a boxing event.
You got anyone you want to call out in the heavyweight division?
(41:20):
Oh. You know it's lad.
You know that Hassan biker? I'm coming to kill you in Los
Angeles at your house. Or in the ring.
No, in real life I'm going to stalk him and become obsessed
with him and wear his makeup andhis dresses and he was as skin
as a coach like the ancient Irish did.
(41:42):
Well, that's your winner, Sam. Hi Bloody.
Love that. No, in real life, yeah.
So he's. So tired too, he can see it.
Yeah, but he's like a legit, like, boxer.
Yeah, he trained Harley from Epic Meal Time.
(42:08):
Yeah, pretty sure Harley got hisass kicked, but that doesn't
matter. Harley is kind of a pussy.
Whoa. Easy, easy.
He's three times your size. He's not the inside, that's for
sure. No, I don't know anything about
them. We used to like roughly meal
(42:29):
time quite good. I did enjoy epic meals.
We made a giant. Lasagna one time.
It was cool. It obviously had lots of bacon
bits. It was cool.
What's? The grossest food you've ever
made that was actually really good.
Oh, that was actually really good.
Like it shouldn't have been goodthat Greek.
(42:49):
Salad you keep feeding me looks disgusting when I get done with
it it. Smells rough too.
I like the vinegar you smell. Really.
Yeah. Specifically because I like to
say vinegar because it's the only way I can say it without
getting hit in this room. But no, like it.
It's like all the oils that congeal on the bottom of that
(43:09):
Styrofoam cup that you feed me this with.
Yeah, it congeals and gets Milky, Yeah, and I want to drink
it just to make you grow, make you vomit.
But like, I drink. It.
But like, I know how slippery mylips are when I'm done eating
that. So like I know that I'm going to
(43:32):
drop the cup as I'm drinking it.Like that is how unsafe that sip
feels. It'll slip down your throat,
yeah. Like I'm just going to drop it
down my shirt. I don't feel like you made.
That, but I guess that's an answer to the question well I
posed. That was just an example of
something that turned out reallygood, but looks.
Awful. Horrible.
Smells rough too. I like the smell.
(43:54):
I'm impressed. Speaking of smells, before I
answer that question, I thought about this fat electrician.
You know him. I'm aware of his existence.
He he's on the unsubscribe podcast and he said Good pussy
(44:17):
smells like the air that comes out of the back of a PlayStation
2. Hell yeah.
So that's why me and the boys congregated around it.
It all makes sense now. And I thought whether or not
(44:40):
that's true, I like it. I'm going to treat it as gospel,
so. Yeah.
Could you imagine? Like I was booting up some
fucking Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 2, putting our fingers back
behind it. Oh.
Smell that God? Do you know the the reason why
(45:06):
the people will early PS ones had to be used upside down?
You ever heard of this? No.
So they like the very first onesthat came out the round.
Ones or the big brick ones? Or big what?
PlayStation one? Yeah, I don't know.
(45:26):
Every. Generation of the PlayStation
has two different versions and Idon't remember which one was the
first. Or at least that's what I'm
posing. I don't there's a big.
Square one and then there's likea smaller, there's like a
crustacean. PS1 versions.
(45:47):
So there's the brick version, and then.
There's the round version. Huh.
I don't know but the one I'm referring to was the brick one
and it's the one we had. Ours didn't have this problem.
It was post this issue, I believe, but the early ones of
that version, the laser reader, the eye was on top of the power
(46:10):
source and so it would warp heatsoak.
Yeah. And so you have to turn it
upside down to like get it to warp the other direction to make
it work. It's real.
It still. Works.
Yeah, yeah. It's real cool.
Yeah, is. There another console that
(46:32):
doesn't work in a different orientation.
Have all video game. Consoles been able to work in
all orientations. The PSP doesn't work if you
shake it. Not in my experience.
The one with the little door that barely has a latch on it.
(46:52):
Yeah, and the weakest hinge is possible.
Yeah, the disk and the condom, the.
UMD, yeah. Universal Media Disk.
They really. Wanted that to be a thing.
Yeah. Have you ever seen a a memory
stick from Sony? Oh, yeah.
Oh yeah. That's what PS PS had.
They had those. Yeah, I started.
My grandma had a Sony camcorder and I had a PPSP and I only had
(47:22):
like a really small thing like stick memory stick.
Yeah. And so I swapped mine out for
hers on her camcorder and nobodyever found out.
Bill Cosby has a memory stick. Except in reverse, Yeah.
He's got the thing that Will Smith has in the movie with the
aliens. Yeah.
(47:43):
Men in black, Men in the hood. Which is the opposite of who you
think it was. Boys in the hood.
Boys in the hood and men in the hood oh, men in the hood are
opposite of boys in. The Hood.
Oh, I want to name an episode. Just some guys in Paris.
(48:10):
OK. I just really, I thought of that
the other day, just two friends in Paris.
Can you put us in Jinkos on the thumbnail?
Define us because it's going to be two very, very black men we.
Are black OK except for? Except for me.
(48:33):
Yeah, all of us are black exceptfor me.
Quit breaking studio. Quit.
What happened? The girth overcame the fucking
steal. There's a screw missing from
this chair. 'Cause you broke it.
No, it's not in the hole 'cause.You broke it.
(48:57):
I'm. Calling OSHA.
Actually, John, call OSHA for me.
We're not in compliance, I found.
It. I told you, you broke it.
He's savage. So it's the first time I've done
that too. Computer chair.
Our chair in the dining room when I was growing up had no
front screws, and so if you leanback, you just followed right
(49:20):
out. You weren't.
Even fat then. This is correct.
Well damn, that's going to come out of the paycheck you don't
receive. The chair I just fixed.
Yeah, yeah, Lead. And you don't make money here,
(49:41):
we burn it in. Fuel to transport ourselves to
this place, yeah. And I burn a lot more because
I'm running a doughnut. My fuel consumption is
significantly higher because of that thing.
Oh, we talk about this Tuesday morning.
(50:04):
I've already told you the story.But I want to let the guys know,
'cause I've been saving it. I got bullied yes by like the
new age cast Disney Channel original movie style like 90s
gay guys. Was it the outsiders?
So yeah, they were all dressed. Outsiders.
(50:25):
Two of them were dressed like outsiders.
No, they were white. Two of them were dressed like
outsiders on the top though. So let me describe these for
you. The one, the leader of the pack
is definitely the alpha, becausehe didn't talk.
He just kind of like mugged me, you know, He was the one with
(50:46):
the pencil, mustache, the mullet.
Very rat faced guy, Stocky. I think he probably wrestled.
He wrestled off his fucking campcounselor.
Yeah. And he's wearing a a black.
He didn't. Put up a good fight.
He's wearing a black wife beaterand then there's another guy who
(51:13):
looks like I can find this guy'sname because he just came up on
my YouTube. Hold on just a second.
The other guy has the face and hair of Jack Neal from TikTok.
(51:35):
You don't know him, but it'll just give them context to look
him up. Yeah, the YouTube Jack Neal, but
had less of a manly face. He doesn't have a manly face.
Though I know that's so you see my point.
(51:55):
And he was wearing like, you know, the new scrubs that people
wear when they're ugly. So ugly nurses wear a certain
type of scrub. Now it's newer and they have
like a weird cropped sleeve where it's like pointed.
It doesn't fit right. It's a smock.
It's it's a smock. It looks cheap by the fucking
(52:17):
Grey's Anatomy scrubs or the figs.
Oh. They sell their own brand of
scrubs now? Well.
Grey's Anatomy is a brand. It's the nicest brand of scrubs.
Grey's Anatomy is just a a book that you read in Med school, but
it's the anatomy textbook. Or at least it was.
I don't know if it still is, butI.
Don't feel like that's accurate,but I'm going to Grey's.
(52:37):
Anatomy is the anatomy textbook.It sounds like a smut book like
50 Shades, no? That's the television show
called Grey's Anatomy. Yeah, yeah.
I don't think the shades of Grey's.
Anatomy. I get it.
Hey one of Russell Dr. Mick Steamy just came here with ALS
(52:58):
so good for him. Proud of you.
I'm happy. For him, anyway, he's so.
Brave. Like his whole like.
Russell, no one's going to listen to this.
I'm. Sorry.
Anyway, so 90s Disney movie gay guys.
The third person was Ryan Trahanfrom YouTube.
(53:22):
You've, I don't know if you've seen him before, but I'll look
him up like maybe he spells his name.
RAYAN. He actually might also spell his
name that way. Nope.
But he spells his last name thatway.
Yeah, he. Does so this is Ryan Trahan, a
YouTuber. He's like a sweet kid.
(53:42):
Doesn't do it. He doesn't have any scandals yet
that I know of. Just a sweet guy that does like
Mr. B style videos but on a smaller scale.
But the guy looked exactly like Ryan Trahan, but he was wearing
a backwards snap back and he waswearing velociraptor sunglasses
and it was 2:30 in the morning are.
(54:04):
Velociraptor sunglasses the sameas the pit Vipers so.
That's what I meant. OK.
Is pit Viper. 'Cause you said that twice, I
was like, I don't know what thatis.
That's sad because I've said it now to so many people telling
this story. Our velociraptor maybe?
It's a like a sub brand of it. No, look it up, look up
velociraptor sunglasses so that I can know because you said it
(54:26):
was such confidence. It's like you have seen it
spell. Velociraptor.
VL Stop. It's not helping
sun glasses. I.
(54:49):
Mean there is no there's not. I mean if you look at the bottom
left by Homs Optic, which is an unfortunate name for.
Anyway, so we got Ryan Trahan, Jack Neil and a rat with a
mullet, right? Jack Neil is wearing the
baggiest mom jeans on a boy thatI've seen since Jinko jeans,
(55:11):
right? But it is the new style for like
lesbians to wear makes. Me, Miss Matilda.
So. I hope she's OK.
I miss her too. She's so brave to be straight.
And go out like that is really cool.
(55:35):
I mean this sincerely, and I know it doesn't sound like that
because, well, I love you and miss you and I am an asshole
anyway. Yeah.
And I think he actually did havea septum piercing.
But the only thing these guys were missing was one a pack of
(55:57):
cigarettes rolled up into their sleeves.
Now, one of them couldn't do it because he didn't have sleeves
because he was too cool for sleeves when was wearing a black
wife beater, the coolest colour of wife beater black.
And the other thing they were missing was doing like, the snap
when they walk, you know? Yeah, Like the jazzy.
Yeah, And I walk out of the gas station, I get in my car, I'm on
(56:22):
a doughnut, right? Have been for a little bit.
I'm an irresponsible young man and.
Not young anymore. I'm an irresponsible, gross fat
guy. And one of them goes Jack Neal
goes, hey, what happened to yourtire?
(56:43):
And I'm like, it popped and like, yeah, OK.
And you're like he. Didn't trust you?
Yeah. And then so the next part's
funny, they're like. Oh, you caught me.
(57:04):
I hate. It so then at Pico.
It's a serious metal. So my, it's Pika.
Whatever. But, and I think I have it, I've
been eating my hair. But so you guys don't know that
(57:31):
Mazda that you've seen in pictures is the power key
clapped out the exhaust sounds real cool.
And it's because it's broken. It's because there's a gasket
missing where two of the pieces of pipe connect.
It's like this like aluminum little piece of metal that sits
(57:53):
between the fitting. They know.
What a gasket is and. It is true.
Like have them work in a shop. I didn't know this.
They don't sound like it, but neither do I.
So although Nick does sound likehe worked in a shop but.
Anyway, you work in a pseudo office.
(58:15):
Yes, I do work in this office so.
He is sorefice Jack. Neal goes.
What'd you do fucking? Sorefice.
He goes my bomb. Alive in summer camp.
(58:39):
I'm telling. Sorry, he.
Goes he goes, what you do to your exhaust, It sounds nice.
And I go, it broke. It broke.
It's 2:30 in the morning. Why are these people talking to
me? He goes nice.
(59:01):
And they're just like laughing at me, like they're doing this
because they're making fun of me.
Like this is like their tone. I know it sounds like I'm
playing a victim. I'm not.
This whole situation is funny tome.
But I want to get across they are doing this with the
intention of being bullies. And so my response to him
laughing off what I said was theoldest response in the book.
(59:26):
Shouldn't you guys be in bed and.
Did they get mad? So the cool one, the rat was in
the middle of taking a cool swigof his probably white monster
(59:47):
and, you know, gets it to his lips and kind of stops and gives
me a side eye. And Jack Neal goes, what did you
say? And I speed off because I didn't
want to shoot children. And I was going to.
(01:00:08):
It's like, OK, you haven't ever watched Tenacious D and The Pick
of Destiny, and shame on you forthat.
I. Have what are you talking about?
I watched that like 10 times when I was a kid.
So you remember the Clockwork Orange No where the guy sitting
on the the bed or on the bench. I.
Remember almost nothing from that.
The only thing you haven't watched is the Dick push ups or
(01:00:28):
the cock push ups which I think.You may have seen it I.
Hate that word, but oh. I'm sorry Mama Russ is getting
sensitive now. I don't like cock, it makes me
uncomfortable. It's your sore clip that.
Guys and spread it. I don't want any misconceptions.
(01:00:51):
I do not like cock. I just don't like cock because
it's used in smart books as likea sexual term.
Yeah. And I think penis is more sexual
than cock. How that's?
A medical term. And I'm into hot nurses.
(01:01:12):
Would you? Prefer phallus?
Actually, yeah, over cock for sure.
I would member. Is a good one I.
Don't. I don't prefer a member, but I
guess I would prefer a member toa cock.
That's almost used exclusively in females mud.
But I've seen cock before. You've.
Never seen a member it. Was awful.
(01:01:36):
I just don't like cock. All that Tenacious D stuff to
say like was you. Was that whole scenario you
avoiding getting beat up on a bench by a bunch of people in a
mask? I wouldn't have gotten beat up.
Put that on record. Gun don't really care about
their age, would have shot OK more than I needed to.
(01:02:01):
You've been Rittenhouse, you've been take a couple hits and then
you and shot someone's bicep offby.
Rittenhouse, do you mean like doing the right thing in the
situation? Because no you.
Wouldn't do the right thing I. Wouldn't do the right thing.
I would shoot them so many times.
You'd have them like I would. Be more put their arms behind.
Their back sit on their knees and I would.
(01:02:22):
Be more of a Dylan Klebold styleguy all right he was one of the
Columbine basketball he's like the point guard, one of the best
shooters for Columbine the basketball team and also that
one time he went into the schooland killed some kids with his
(01:02:42):
friend who I never remember his other name all.
Right. I wouldn't be Dylan Roof though.
He was racist, I think. Is he going for the melon in
high school or something? He.
Shot up a black church specifically because they were
black. Oops.
Yeah, not a really Christian thing to do.
(01:03:03):
Be black and shoot up a church. Yikes.
So yeah, it was, it was a fun experience and.
Also on record, they could not beat Russell up.
They well, one of them probably could have no the the rat guy
wrestling. Experience.
The rat guy gave me. I wouldn't allow it.
(01:03:27):
I mean we would have fought it out, but he gave me like he
could fight me style like not like he could like take a
fighter, but like he would have the energy to you have a handle.
On me, which means you have the access to the power of yeah,
strength well for. 1 My older brother's kid.
(01:03:51):
I can't touch him because when every time I touch him he cries.
Let me rephrase that. Whoa, Drunkle strikes again.
He just, he gets hurt so easily and scared so easily that you
can't like. You're making the word sorefice
(01:04:12):
not sound fun anymore. That you can't like Roughhouse
with him. The the one that we refer to as
my nephson, my sister in law's kid.
I'm afraid that I'm going to hurt him even though he is the
most robust of the three nephewsthat I have.
He was four months Prem. He was gross.
(01:04:36):
He was four months premature andlike, I feel like I'm going to
cause something, you know, he. Filled out nicely, he's always.
He is bigger than most kids his age.
He's. Stocky little punk.
Yeah, he is a big fat redhead. Butt head.
Good. My little brother's kid.
The most beautiful child in the world.
(01:04:58):
Gorgeous baby. I know you hate it when I say
that, but it's true. He was the most gorgeous baby
I've ever seen. Russell, please stop.
I have gotten confirmation that it's not that weird for me to
say this. If you see something, say
(01:05:18):
something. I'm seeing something and I.
Saw it. He's gorgeous.
I said it out loud. He was a beautiful child.
Well, baby, I don't know. I was a child.
Anyway, I want Macaulay. Culkin you think?
The one that I'm not going to attack.
What do you mean? What?
Macaulay Culkin was the one guy Michael Jackson didn't molest.
(01:05:44):
I'm saying is he going to like have adult features as a child
that he will never grow into? He didn't have adult features.
He's a baby now. You're making it weird.
He had beautiful little doe eyes, like big like like.
(01:06:05):
So the Thunder 1 basketball I. Don't ever want to fucking talk
about basketball again. I want to talk about anything
else. Anyway, well I say all this to
say I want my little brother to move here because I think the
only kid that I could roughhousewith is the other one my niece
might like fill out muscular wise.
(01:06:25):
But right now she's the scrawniest little kid I've ever
seen. Like she's just so thin and
dainty. She has the energy to take me
and we race all the time but some.
Would call Russell a. I'm a racist but I don't think I
could fight with her 'cause I'm afraid I will break her.
(01:06:45):
She is my older brother's kid, which means she is made of
glass. That's true, but you have to
beat them up young. You think their?
Ass. Have any influence of that?
I don't know how you get to be an authority on dads.
(01:07:07):
I would like to reiterate you don't have one.
I had the placeholders. This is true I.
Had the best placeholders it's. Like, somehow your sister did
turn out to be a badass. You turned out.
(01:07:29):
No, you got to beat them up withtheir little You have to.
Yes, you have to expose them to fucking peanuts, otherwise
they'll grow up weak. You don't want to grow up with a
nut allergy. And that's why Russell does his
part with his beautiful. Nephew, he's adorable.
(01:07:50):
OK, some say gorgeous, I guess. Look at.
That Look at that cutie. It's a baby.
Oh. It's gone.
Quite like fawning over here. Look.
At this one, the one by my thumb, I.
Can't see anything. Why does it keep doing?
That look at that one. He's wearing a bow tie.
It's funny. It's a dapper baby, yeah.
(01:08:14):
That's the redhead, Dapper. Diaper baby.
Yeah. So this has been the fish tank
chill prison podcast. It will be the only fish tank
chill prison podcast. I do not want to put him through
that again. I don't want to be put through
it again. Fuck you guys, I'm.
Going home, we. Have to record one more episode,
see it, fuck. Love you guys.
(01:08:38):
Bye. None.
You are now entering the prism. That goddamn bass goes so hard
dude. Yeah, they don't hear that
though. We do, and that's enough for me.
You. Want to hear my impression of
(00:20):
the Santa Claus? Hell yeah I do, Russell.
It's it's the Santa Claus if he were a guy that had ATV show
where he uses a hammer to fix things.
I like that, thank you the addedvalue to my life.
Did you ever watch Boy Meets World?
Yes. Did you recognize when Morgan
disappeared? No do.
(00:42):
You know who Morgan was? No, the little sister.
Oh my God, yeah. That was mentioned on something
I was listening to this morning and I was like what the fuck?
They're right. Yeah, that's weird.
Like she was present enough for like me to know.
Like looking back, there was one.
(01:03):
Mm Hmm. But she just disappeared.
Dude she must have asked too much for the contract renewal.
Or did the actress die and they were like out of respect?
Well the conversation I was hearing was in reference to her
doing porn later so I don't think she died in or like that's
not why she was gone. Did she do it voluntarily or was
(01:25):
she? I don't that wasn't.
Mentioned Was she Epstein into? That wasn't mentioned.
Being a movie star of a different variety.
So I don't know, oh, it's FamilyDollar.
I want to get this off my chest.It's very interesting they call
it Family Dollar when it's the only groups of black people that
(01:47):
go there. They don't call it Daddy Dollar.
Right, but without a daddy, are you really a family?
I mean they made a song about itliterally saying we are family.
I'm pretty sure that the melanincount like much like metal
chlorine would determine that they're severe Jedi.
(02:07):
That they're on the dark side. No, no, no.
I mean they can be swayed as we all can, but now are.
We saying that Anakin is black and can say it.
Only when he becomes Darth Vader.
OK, fair enough. Do you think that's what
happened? Like Mustafar is what happens
(02:29):
when you say it when you don't have the past.
Maybe everyone else gets the high ground and just beats the
brakes off of you, turn you intoa quad.
I mean that that has happened. People are wild out there.
(02:55):
I don't like how I said that. Yeah.
I'm not. It's like the nerdiest way that
I could have ever said, John. Just so you know, my pass is.
Difficulties. Yeah, John, your pass is still
valid even though I said it the way I did.
I apologize for making it seem as though your pass was not
(03:16):
valid, but you have a manager special code.
It can be redeemed once, so don't.
I don't remember. That don't be flipping with it.
Contentious in any way? After what I just said, after
the way that my voice sounded, my tambour is like God awful
right now. Oh yeah, someone's going to play
that back, specifically that cutand be like this guy gave you
(03:37):
the pass. Yeah, that's true.
Yeah. And then?
He's going to get beat up and then they're going to finally
find like a leaked Jon doesn't. Jon doesn't hear colour though
because I sent a picture of a giant wrench in my hand
yesterday and I said for turningmy giant nuts and John replied
with I'm very disappointed to find out that Russ is black or
(03:58):
Russ is white. And I was like, somebody's
confused. I am the whitest guy I know.
You're the second whitest guy you know.
Probably got me beat out by a giraffe snake.
(04:19):
Yes, I was trying to like, decide what to buy a giraffe's
neck meant. Not him standing straight up
like if he were in a full like dead Sprint in the Olympics.
The summer ones the only ones that anyone care about and neck
was like fucking leaning forward.
He had his weird 2 horns that darn actually horns protruding
forward. Yeah.
(04:39):
What are those things? Are they antennae?
I think they're like Kung Fu node strikers, you know, like
those weird ninja ball key chains that people have.
Yeah, for self-defense. Kubaton, can you give me my my
goat, your juice? Fuck yeah brother, give me a
give me a clink on that one thatwas not audible.
(05:07):
Yeah. Kubaton Yeah, I think those are
just so they can practice Kung Fu on each other.
Head Kubatons they might be. I didn't mean to click that.
I meant to click the other thingthat lets me see that.
Here we go. That's pretty sick though, you
can just have Malt ninja stuff on you like the platypus who has
(05:30):
his ankle fins or ankle blades. Yeah, ankle spike.
Yeah, Platy. People have like just Spurs
built in. Yeah, their venom glands are
connected to it. Dude, could you imagine?
Like where would ours be if we had venom glands?
And don't say penis. Damn it.
(05:55):
I want them on my elbows. You're limiting me here.
I want you to dig. Elbows is good, knees maybe.
I would like, I would like them on my knees.
That'd be really satisfying withelbow.
You can't like look someone in the eyes when you inventimate
them. So knees I feel like would have
(06:16):
an advantage unless you do like a downward chop.
She's like I. Cut it the.
Fuck out. That's not me.
What is it? It's our boss today's He's our
(06:40):
benefactor. Bruce Wayne is in there,
clicking away. Who I I call straight Robin.
You get to be gay Robin. Even though Gay Robin's my
favorite Robin, you're still GayRobin.
He's. The best Robin, but no one likes
him. Yeah.
I like him, I. Want to be Red Hood?
No, but he's not a collaborator,so.
(07:02):
And that's the only way that I get anything done, definitely.
Also wears a white hood so you can't beat him.
Yikes. He is probably the most racist
one also. He got beat up in a factory,
didn't he? Like get another opportunity to
be like a good Robin, but they killed him off again because he
wasn't popular. No, he like becomes a good guy,
(07:28):
No. I know that, I know that.
I'm saying didn't he have another chance where it like
before it became Red Hood and then like there's another
popularity though on which one to kill off and then he lost it
twice. How am I hearing that?
I think it's coming into the board somehow.
You might have to unplug the piano.
(07:57):
Do we have a mic out there? Oh.
You know what? It's coming through 7.
Handled. It's coming through the vocal
booth. That's hilarious.
I mean to make sure that I didn't push any buttons.
(08:17):
Russell, you push buttons every moment of your existence.
Motherfucker, you pushed my buttons all day.
Get wrecked. Today is not the day.
You're the one. Who chose to sit next to me for
the entirety of this day? I.
Wanted you to smell what I was making and it was poop.
It was we. Left my diaper.
What's wild is it happened twice.
(08:40):
We left for break. I came back into the office and
I smelled it and then we left and got back into my car and I
smelled it again and I was like,this is a problem.
Well, I wasn't actually making poop, I was talking about the
shit product that I was making. I smelled like I smelled
(09:01):
vengeance. I smelled the Batman coming out
of you. I am definitely sweating some
bruise. I got a drop of bruise you.
Shut your mouth. You know, speak about her father
like that. He's right there.
Oh God, I have an itchy nut. OK, we got to talk about fish
(09:24):
tank. No, it's.
Important that the ladies here that we are talking about fish
tank. And by very well by ladies, I
mean the coalition forces that we have.
Yeah, yeah. I like to think that the the
groups of creators that we're with, it's kind of like like a
(09:48):
World War 2 era group of countries getting together, you
know. Can you name one?
The Axis powers? I think it's that, yeah, I think
we're Italy, although, although Jordan does look more like
Mussolini than either of us. That's fair.
(10:09):
Mostly just because he's got no hair on his head because he
shaved his head, but other than that you'd.
Be Putin with how you're smelling so you'd be on the
allies. Side I fixed.
Your car's AC call. Hitler only because I love my
dogs the way Hitler loved his dogs team.
(10:30):
Let's band together for the betterment of the podcast.
It's not. Happening.
And force Russell to fix his fucking AC It's.
Not happening. You don't get a reprieve until
you go home. Why can't you just enjoy your
car? You don't even eat take lunch in
your car anymore. You just you've changed,
Russell. You've changed with the season.
(10:51):
Stinks in there. I thought you cleaned it out.
I did. It's is it back?
It's not as bad, but that's not why it stinks.
Stinks 'cause you're sweating into the seats, yes.
Stop. It stinks because I'm making
poopy in my car. Could you imagine if if our
(11:15):
third team member if we took your car to go eat lunch just.
Vomit on the floor. She just resides.
Yeah, she opens the door and resides.
I don't think I could collaborate with these goons.
(11:36):
Does she look like a Justine? Who?
3rd. Team member No, and I don't like
that name at all for some reason.
Frankie. With an IE.
I could do that. Yeah.
Well, I don't want to say it like that.
That was weird. Don't have sex with her 13I.
(12:01):
Don't plan to. That's like the opposite of your
taste. Yeah, the polar opposite of your
taste. Female who?
Who? What kid would fucking show up
(12:22):
to this website? I don't.
Know, I think it's a it's just fandom.
It's not. Yeah, OK.
I'm really trying here and I'm not finding a a place that has
just like a rolodex of characters.
Dude. It's important that we cover
this Shane, Shane, Shane. Russell, stop.
(12:56):
Does this have info contestants?Thank you.
OK, everybody's favorite. Who the hell is Freeloader?
Freeloader. Where's that?
Where does it say bottom right? I don't know how it works, but
Freeloader is not a person. It's a character.
(13:17):
It's a type of contestant. I don't think they get to win
anything. They just hang out and fuck
things up. So three people have left, dude.
Go back to Arya. Arya So Arya, why is his?
Head wrinkly. Did he just Is he a newborn?
He has a condition. He's a newborn.
(13:38):
I think he has. I think he has too much skin on
his head or something but. It's.
This is a very flattering picture of this fucker.
It gets worse. He's a preemie.
Well, he's there. A preemie on fish tank.
His skull hasn't formed. Yet fish tank.
(14:12):
So he aspires to be SpongeBob. SpongeBob is his role model.
That's pretty much all I know about him.
So our job is to watch him harass other housemates with his
presence. Yeah, and you can see here it.
Doesn't look like he was given the opportunity to develop
social skills because of his appearance, correct?
(14:33):
Is that a fair assessment? Yes.
So he just inflicts his presenceon others, right?
I. Believe so.
I don't watch this shit so I don't actually.
Know guys, you want to play a game of Boggle?
Does he? Looks like that guy.
Is that what he does? I'm not.
I have no idea. I don't like this as a concept.
(14:53):
I like this as a concept, but inpractice all it has done is make
my phone vibrate way too often. Do you pay for this?
They No, I don't. You can Kentucky, I don't know.
That guy is Hitler. Mustache.
He does. I don't know who that is.
It looks like they're in some type of competition at the
moment. What is happening?
(15:15):
Trying. To lasso something, let me see
if. I can see Oh my flashlights on
and it has been on the entire time I've been here.
Good, good. I'm happy about that.
Let me see. Let me go on the this.
Looks like a snuff film. Yeah, it kind of does.
Guys, we're looking at the director feed for the camera on
fish tank and they. Are in a basement, a concrete
floor. Do they keep all these videos
(15:37):
available for people to go back or well, they?
Cut them up and yeah, you can find them all over the place and
I'm looking at this right now onthe discord to see what the fuck
is going on. Is it worth?
It to tell them the time stamp. There is no time stamp.
This is live I'm. Saying yeah for us.
Oh yeah. It's that time of.
(15:58):
Recording. June 27th, 27th at 4:00. 13.
Yeah, I'm gonna ask. Ask the squad.
Recording an episode right now. We are watching the Tank at the
(16:30):
moment. What is?
Asian girls making a marital. Aid so she's 19 she's.
Making a rustic marital aid. She's 19, and the reason I know
that is because it's a big thingof contention right now was the
(16:54):
age of. Consent in Australia like 24
this. Is America.
Exactly. So what's the point?
That guy, I think that's the guythat's definitely a a drug
addict. He's going to be after this.
At least someone peed on the floor next to that carpet.
(17:17):
For sure, yeah, this is a bad thing that we're watching.
You see, either you stop, I hateit out of bed.
Please kill yourself now. I don't have to.
Nope. OK, we lost feed the.
Feed died. Hmm, I'm.
(17:39):
Glad you showed me this, Russell.
Me too. Oh, what Erica lost.
OK, it's a bunker. It's a straight beard.
These beers, these last needs all the same to go outside.
Why is he on a prayer rug? I have no idea what's going on
(18:03):
20. 5 seconds. OK, so we're at a little 108.
Minutes. I hate this, Yeah.
It's just not for me. I do enjoy watching the guys
breakdown everything that's going on but I digested in my
own time. But my favorite character is
this one right here. Raquel.
(18:26):
Rachel. Why can't I click on Rachel?
She's gone. I don't fuck.
We know. Hold on, Let me pull her up.
Russell. We.
Accept you for who you are, faggot.
Finally, it's fucking been a while.
(18:50):
Rachel from Fish Tank Live This is Rachel.
You. She has diseases and she
complained and then quit. Is she a village bicycle or
something? Is that how she earned them?
Were they gifted upon her on birth?
(19:11):
What are we talking about? Did.
She earn the disease did. She earn the diseases by being
the village. Bicycle kind.
Of just the type of person that makes up fake diseases A.
Hypochondriac. Yeah, she has, like,
fibromyalgia, so like, kind of just hurts everywhere and
(19:33):
doesn't recognize that maybe it's the obesity in the gout.
Gotcha. Yeah, that's also a guy, so she
well. Don't misgender her, Russell.
That's rude. It that's a man spent.
Most of its time laying on its bed or sitting on its bed and
(19:58):
apparently it brought like 6 suitcases full of things and a
lot of it was pills. And are you?
Sure they're not shirts. Just a shirt.
The. Junkie guy stole her pills which
so Sam gave her. AI think Sam did?
(20:20):
I don't know. I don't know even know if he's
really there, but very often I don't know how this works.
Sam Hyde never existed. He was just a contract of all of
our the. Producers gave her like a safe
to keep her pills and then she lost.
She forgot the combination. Oh.
She's she's just a general inconvenience, yeah.
Yeah, but so a lot of times she would, she had at the beginning,
(20:46):
they gave her basically full immunity so they could, she
would because they knew she was going to quit.
So like, she just didn't participate in any of the
challenges and was just allowed to like continue existing.
And yeah, so she's just been awful for the entirety of her
(21:07):
stay. Let's see if the boys responded
to me. They did not.
Why would? Oh, somebody responded.
They are surviving. And then somebody, somebody
responded with a picture of the movie What's Eating Gilbert
(21:28):
Grape? The one where Leonardo DiCaprio
is retarded. But.
I feel like that's the most accurate but.
It says what's eating Gilbert grapes.
Big fat wet pussy. Love that.
I'd love that. Also like the not so subtle edit
of the guy's face. So I'm just going to reply with
(21:52):
thank you. That's been quite informative
and accurate. Surprised you?
Guys never cease to let me, I mean amaze me.
So that was Myron Gaines, not the retarded faggot that's on
YouTube, the one that is in the discord.
Different guy, same name and doctor post Nut butter.
(22:15):
Good I. Am working on trying to get an
episode cover with all of our main characters on it.
So it'll be an ice cube. Well, it'll be me, Dave Grohl,
and you, a chocolate ice cube head guy.
(22:35):
And then because you have not picked a persona and then I have
trained the AI to make a man made of peanut butter wearing a
lab coat. That's not a problem.
I'm having a I'm having trouble and I've made the Orthodox
goblins laying priest. That's not a problem.
I'm having trouble getting it togive me a picture of a young
(22:59):
Vincent D'onofrio from Full Metal Jacket.
Can I be Thomas the Tank? Engine.
Yeah, you can be Thomas the WankEngine.
That is probably better. That is the best name for a
Thomas Tank Engine style flashlight in the world.
There's no way that's not a thing.
Google Tomas the wank engine. I really.
(23:32):
Wish that my finances did not. Oh my gosh, yeah.
There she blows. Oh.
Love that they go to see that middle one.
This. Left.
Down, down one left all the way.Love that.
Yeah, I've. Seen this picture?
(23:53):
And. Then there's just a So from here
I thought this was a Turkey in apan.
I don't know what peanut butter is that peanut butter?
What is this pattern right here and how does it repeat?
It looks like a chocolate Christmas orange.
I'm concerned. I don't know what that is.
(24:15):
I don't like it. Well, we're just going to close
up, so yeah, we have. Rachel why?
Why isn't the Rotary engine known as the wank engine?
It's. Called the Winkler engine, isn't
it Winkle? Rotary.
Yeah, yeah. Why don't we call it the wank
engine? We could call it because it
would hurt we. Could call it a Thomas and then
people in the know would know. I mean, did they?
(24:38):
Eliminate someone? Oh no, it's still the same, no.
Jen got kicked off almost immediately because he was a
pervert and looking up skirts and you would think that's fine.
No on this show. I wouldn't.
You should watch some of it, youwould know.
(24:59):
Oh, these are all sick disgusting freaks I've watched.
Enough Russell. But.
Anyway, that man has a ball sack.
He. Does he does?
Anyway, Everybody's got the hotsfor Ellie.
Because she's a child. Yeah.
(25:19):
Nice. Specifically.
Yeah, Yep. Because I am growing
increasingly and more increasingly concerned that
people who watch this are pedophiles.
I don't want to say that for sure, but but I have a sneaky
(25:40):
suspicion that there's a problemwith what's happening here.
Why? Are they cutting holes in each
other's clothing? Is that also a challenge?
I don't know. Nobody will tell me what's
happening. I don't think we need to know
what's happening. What's happening here?
EW. What are you doing, guy?
(26:07):
Let me in. Is that what they say?
Dude, I don't think that we needto be watching this show.
It's usually not this fucking creepy like.
Are you serious? It literally every frame of this
looks like a snuff film. I know.
(26:30):
That's what I'm saying. No one.
In here is dressed appropriately.
I don't know what appropriate dress for the situation would be
that's. What I'm saying, But it's not
bad. I don't know what's going on,
Russell. Why have you showed me this?
What are you doing? Are you trying to fucking draw
parallels 'cause we're in a big space?
Just in like a mansion is. This what this does to you?
Is this where you feel you're at?
(26:51):
Are you safe? So.
Here, look at this. This is like the setting of now
this is Rachel's bedroom. But like this is it's just a
house normally or like this likethey're like on a couch, but
that's. Not even cool and it's just
cause the subject matter that we're looking at.
Let me. See if I can 'cause this is a
(27:12):
horrible representation of some,like I don't even know what's
going on. OK, so this is the view of,
well, it's a Lego representationof the view of the house.
This is not from. Season 1, here's another season.
So like it's just a it's usuallyjust a regular house.
(27:35):
They have stuffed them in a bunker for some specific
challenge and I don't know what it is.
Like I said, I don't pay attention to this shit.
I don't see a bathroom. I did.
It's right. Rachel is not a toilet dude.
It's right here next to this guythe piss.
(27:57):
Puddle. Yeah, dude, you'd be the first
person to bend a fresh biscuit on the ground.
I don't need to be. Look at this, sis.
Sergey. Naji Naji Naji 80, 307090. 990
what fucking number station bullshit's happening.
(28:17):
Dangerous Caleb 734 bucks tall. Caleb, this is crazy.
I. Don't like this?
So usually like the TTS is really funny.
Like, I can't even come up with a clever one here, but.
When they just do it to intentionally annoy everyone,
(28:39):
yeah. I like turned it on the other
day just to see what everybody was talking about on the
Discord. And it was the IT was when
Rachel was leaving and packing up and everybody was helping her
reluctantly pack her things. And because she wasn't.
Going to get attention anymore yeah, all she all she does even
OK the only reason she agreed tothis is to get attention.
(29:01):
The only reason she fucking gaveher pills to a addict was
because she wanted attention. The reason why she lost her code
was for attention 'cause no one wants to look at her.
Yeah, she is rough and I apologize 'cause I just
misgendered him. It she it, whatever.
Shit. She.
(29:23):
Dude, this is this is bad TV. This is a problem.
I didn't know how angry you weregoing to get about this.
I don't. You weren't going to like it.
I don't feel. Like this has been good in any
meaningful sense. OK, what did they win?
(29:44):
Like fucking $2000. So they got kicked out of the
house like the whole production last season.
The I think the grand prize was supposed to be like 6 grand.
Yeah, exactly. Not worth it.
Yeah. And then for like some zoning
reasons that I guess I don't know the whole story, but they
got kicked out of the house theywere using.
(30:05):
And so they decided to finish the show off just kind of like
going around Las Vegas. And this guy, this black guy
named Bert, who is everybody's favorite human being.
And I kind of like him too. He's a gay, autistic black man.
I love him, like so much. He won and they gave him $3 and
(30:26):
left him in the desert. So people knowing that still
signed up for the next season, yeah.
So the first and second season, people did not know what they
were signing up for. They thought it was going to be
something else. And that was like the point of
the show last season. I believe they all knew except
(30:49):
Bert didn't know because he's schizophrenic and doesn't really
recognize his surroundings like 1.
Of his personalities knew. Yeah, maybe.
And then I think, but this season they all know what
they're getting themselves into.And in fact, Rachel was like a
huge fan of the show and was like, 'cause like, I guess on
her chair she'll say whatever she wants.
(31:11):
Well, when they introduced her like they had for like her title
card, it said constantly sends us ideas for the show, like
thousands of emails about her ideas for the show over the past
few years or something like that.
And so that's funny. I wouldn't as a fan want to be
associated with him. With Sam Rachel Oh, as a fan, I
(31:39):
would not want to be associated with Sam.
He's funny. He is hilarious.
Sam Hyde is fucking funny. He's one of the.
Funniest human beings on the planet.
He keeps doing mass shootings and terrorist attacks.
And apparently it was the ghost of Kiev.
But you don't remember the ghostof Kiev?
(32:01):
That one fighter pilot that was him the whole time.
Hell yeah. Yeah.
But stop it, Rea. You are.
Invading personal space. That's not what SpongeBob would
do. That's a boundary right there.
This is. He's standing inches and I say 2
(32:26):
inches away from another. This is breathing down.
Incredible. This is not good TV.
This would just craft anxiety inmy wife if she were to watch
this. This is not.
Oh, is Hitler about to tape his ear shut or something?
What? The hell is he doing?
He's duct taping something. Oh, it failed on him.
(32:53):
Idiot on TV. Yeah, this is what the Where'd
the guy with no shirt come from?You don't think that was
butthole yoga man? Oh yeah, that might have been
him. Let's see if he's still where he
is. No, he's still there.
(33:13):
Nope. This is a different that's a
female person. So anyway, what's cool?
Again, not been participating inthis, but this season they're
doing a an entire Stock Exchangefor the contestants.
(33:34):
Oh, I picked up on that pretty quickly.
And so Rachel's down. 2.5 points, which is.
Crazy because she's no longer a part of the show.
How? Is Seth up 13?
I don't even know who Seth is. I think he's the guy that
replaced Rachel. Is Seth Who is the ball sack man
Rea? That's.
(33:55):
Right this. Is Seth?
He is the guy that replaced Rachel, I believe.
Yeah, Drench the socket. OK, I didn't know Derange was a
(34:17):
girl when they were talking about them.
I thought Derange was being referred to as a guy.
So there's two whores on the show. 1 of them is a little
young for me to be calling a whore, but I digest.
But yeah, the TTS is very funny.These people are hilarious.
(34:39):
I so if the show was strictly who could just sit it out the
longest? No Adderall.
Russ wins every time hands down.They would hate me because I
would be asleep the entire time but that shit would be so easy.
(35:01):
But I don't know what the rules are that get you kicked off and.
This is a months long thing, right?
It's. Six weeks, I believe this might
be the most fucked day on the show so far.
Yeah, that's I agree 6. Weeks for six grand.
Yeah, And I don't know what the prize is for this season.
I think it's been different every season, but it's not very
(35:21):
much. We could look at the info and
see so are. They liberal arts graduates or
something. They don't earn money anyway.
So it doesn't say what the grandprize is.
They're not allowed to. They just say win the grand
(35:42):
prize. Says no Internet, no privacy, no
weed. Yeah, but they can drink, which
is good. There's like a bell, apparently.
So what I've gathered is, is if you start having a beef with
somebody, you guys can go and ring a bell and it will summon
like the producers and the producers will set up like a
(36:04):
challenge for you guys to do to like settle your beef.
But somebody told, I can't remember who, but somebody told
one of the contestants that it was a beer bell.
And so he just kept ringing it and they kept giving him drinks.
(36:26):
Hell yeah, I'm going to go piss,OK?
All right, to finish off the thefish tank chat, I got some some
context for what the fuck is going on while we were on a
little break for a second. So Doctor Percival nut butter
(36:52):
said they were there were supposedly legal troubles in the
old house. So they moved everyone into this
Fallout Shelter last night. But it could be the quote UN
quote 2 week twist that people were talking about.
And Freddie has a headache, so. Do headaches get you out of?
(37:15):
Challenges. I have no idea what the headache
has to do with anything, but I appreciate the detail.
It's time for Bruce to take his medicine.
Yeah. So yeah.
That's enough fish talk. What the hell?
It's Patrick. Hi, It's me, your best friend.
(37:40):
Patrick's dog. Hi, buddy.
There's a naked man in that suit.
He's banging a dog in that poor guy's thigh.
I. Came all the way from the king
bottom to watch your fly. Patrick wears new.
(38:00):
Balances. Face OH.
Buddy, you wouldn't move, believe it.
Me and SpongeBob this. Docs as inserting.
An objectory, links of the sponge, a whole kebab.
Very cool, very base. I'm glad we got a happy ending
to that disturbing bit of and I don't ever want to discuss this
(38:23):
again. I want to pretend it never
happened. Is that cool with you?
It's. My preference there's.
A reason that I wasn't watching it in the first place.
Didn't know it was going to get that fucking dark immediately,
but that was the most disturbingshit I've ever seen.
Russell, I'm still puzzled why you showed me it in the first
place. SEO.
Cool. It's the week where all of
(38:45):
everybody in the Coalition made an episode about fish tank, so I
felt the need to at least bring it up.
I'm so sorry. I'm a.
Coattail surfing motherfucker. I am.
So sorry, I don't ever want to talk about it again.
I don't even know if I'm going to watch so.
(39:07):
Are they allowed to take each other for test drives?
You know what I mean? Is it encouraged?
Not outright, but I. Mean it's definitely encouraged
for somebody to take the little one by the chat.
I think everybody wanted to see that happen, but I don't know if
(39:32):
Sam. I think we know Sam is
encouraging a lot and that mightbe some of it.
There's cameras every well, I mean, obviously there's just one
big room now, but there was cameras like in every room
except for the bathrooms. Do you think it's?
24/7 casting couches Do you think it does I.
Think Sam does a lot of things that we don't need to talk
(39:54):
about. I think Sam had a 16 year old
girlfriend at one time that we don't talk about WAS.
He, 14. No.
Because then I could be like, cool, no?
He was in Rhode Island or whatever.
Yeah, he was in his 30s. They had AO, the AOC in that
state. Oh, no, is 16.
(40:17):
That is what I heard the other day.
That is unfortunate 1. Of the other, I think it was the
the high tea boys. We're talking about it.
I don't know a whole lot about Sam other than I enjoy when he
works his way into like the mainstream because it's usually
disturbing and dark. Yep.
(40:38):
Yeah, it's still my favorite clip of him is when he
threatened Hassan Piker with murder in.
The game of Wii Sports, no. In real life.
And he says it. Have you not seen that?
No. Oh man.
(40:58):
OK, hold on. I believe it that it happened.
Sam Hyde, this is like a great clip to end the the talk on
because this is just this is great.
I fucking love this. So he was he did a boxing event.
You got anyone you want to call out in the heavyweight division?
(41:20):
Oh. You know it's lad.
You know that Hassan biker? I'm coming to kill you in Los
Angeles at your house. Or in the ring.
No, in real life I'm going to stalk him and become obsessed
with him and wear his makeup andhis dresses and he was as skin
as a coach like the ancient Irish did.
(41:42):
Well, that's your winner, Sam. Hi Bloody.
Love that. No, in real life, yeah.
So he's. So tired too, he can see it.
Yeah, but he's like a legit, like, boxer.
Yeah, he trained Harley from Epic Meal Time.
(42:08):
Yeah, pretty sure Harley got hisass kicked, but that doesn't
matter. Harley is kind of a pussy.
Whoa. Easy, easy.
He's three times your size. He's not the inside, that's for
sure. No, I don't know anything about
them. We used to like roughly meal
(42:29):
time quite good. I did enjoy epic meals.
We made a giant. Lasagna one time.
It was cool. It obviously had lots of bacon
bits. It was cool.
What's? The grossest food you've ever
made that was actually really good.
Oh, that was actually really good.
Like it shouldn't have been goodthat Greek.
(42:49):
Salad you keep feeding me looks disgusting when I get done with
it it. Smells rough too.
I like the vinegar you smell. Really.
Yeah. Specifically because I like to
say vinegar because it's the only way I can say it without
getting hit in this room. But no, like it.
It's like all the oils that congeal on the bottom of that
(43:09):
Styrofoam cup that you feed me this with.
Yeah, it congeals and gets Milky, Yeah, and I want to drink
it just to make you grow, make you vomit.
But like, I drink. It.
But like, I know how slippery mylips are when I'm done eating
that. So like I know that I'm going to
(43:32):
drop the cup as I'm drinking it.Like that is how unsafe that sip
feels. It'll slip down your throat,
yeah. Like I'm just going to drop it
down my shirt. I don't feel like you made.
That, but I guess that's an answer to the question well I
posed. That was just an example of
something that turned out reallygood, but looks.
Awful. Horrible.
Smells rough too. I like the smell.
(43:54):
I'm impressed. Speaking of smells, before I
answer that question, I thought about this fat electrician.
You know him. I'm aware of his existence.
He he's on the unsubscribe podcast and he said Good pussy
(44:17):
smells like the air that comes out of the back of a PlayStation
2. Hell yeah.
So that's why me and the boys congregated around it.
It all makes sense now. And I thought whether or not
(44:40):
that's true, I like it. I'm going to treat it as gospel,
so. Yeah.
Could you imagine? Like I was booting up some
fucking Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 2, putting our fingers back
behind it. Oh.
Smell that God? Do you know the the reason why
(45:06):
the people will early PS ones had to be used upside down?
You ever heard of this? No.
So they like the very first onesthat came out the round.
Ones or the big brick ones? Or big what?
PlayStation one? Yeah, I don't know.
(45:26):
Every. Generation of the PlayStation
has two different versions and Idon't remember which one was the
first. Or at least that's what I'm
posing. I don't there's a big.
Square one and then there's likea smaller, there's like a
crustacean. PS1 versions.
(45:47):
So there's the brick version, and then.
There's the round version. Huh.
I don't know but the one I'm referring to was the brick one
and it's the one we had. Ours didn't have this problem.
It was post this issue, I believe, but the early ones of
that version, the laser reader, the eye was on top of the power
(46:10):
source and so it would warp heatsoak.
Yeah. And so you have to turn it
upside down to like get it to warp the other direction to make
it work. It's real.
It still. Works.
Yeah, yeah. It's real cool.
Yeah, is. There another console that
(46:32):
doesn't work in a different orientation.
Have all video game. Consoles been able to work in
all orientations. The PSP doesn't work if you
shake it. Not in my experience.
The one with the little door that barely has a latch on it.
(46:52):
Yeah, and the weakest hinge is possible.
Yeah, the disk and the condom, the.
UMD, yeah. Universal Media Disk.
They really. Wanted that to be a thing.
Yeah. Have you ever seen a a memory
stick from Sony? Oh, yeah.
Oh yeah. That's what PS PS had.
They had those. Yeah, I started.
My grandma had a Sony camcorder and I had a PPSP and I only had
(47:22):
like a really small thing like stick memory stick.
Yeah. And so I swapped mine out for
hers on her camcorder and nobodyever found out.
Bill Cosby has a memory stick. Except in reverse, Yeah.
He's got the thing that Will Smith has in the movie with the
aliens. Yeah.
(47:43):
Men in black, Men in the hood. Which is the opposite of who you
think it was. Boys in the hood.
Boys in the hood and men in the hood oh, men in the hood are
opposite of boys in. The Hood.
Oh, I want to name an episode. Just some guys in Paris.
(48:10):
OK. I just really, I thought of that
the other day, just two friends in Paris.
Can you put us in Jinkos on the thumbnail?
Define us because it's going to be two very, very black men we.
Are black OK except for? Except for me.
(48:33):
Yeah, all of us are black exceptfor me.
Quit breaking studio. Quit.
What happened? The girth overcame the fucking
steal. There's a screw missing from
this chair. 'Cause you broke it.
No, it's not in the hole 'cause.You broke it.
(48:57):
I'm. Calling OSHA.
Actually, John, call OSHA for me.
We're not in compliance, I found.
It. I told you, you broke it.
He's savage. So it's the first time I've done
that too. Computer chair.
Our chair in the dining room when I was growing up had no
front screws, and so if you leanback, you just followed right
(49:20):
out. You weren't.
Even fat then. This is correct.
Well damn, that's going to come out of the paycheck you don't
receive. The chair I just fixed.
Yeah, yeah, Lead. And you don't make money here,
(49:41):
we burn it in. Fuel to transport ourselves to
this place, yeah. And I burn a lot more because
I'm running a doughnut. My fuel consumption is
significantly higher because of that thing.
Oh, we talk about this Tuesday morning.
(50:04):
I've already told you the story.But I want to let the guys know,
'cause I've been saving it. I got bullied yes by like the
new age cast Disney Channel original movie style like 90s
gay guys. Was it the outsiders?
So yeah, they were all dressed. Outsiders.
(50:25):
Two of them were dressed like outsiders.
No, they were white. Two of them were dressed like
outsiders on the top though. So let me describe these for
you. The one, the leader of the pack
is definitely the alpha, becausehe didn't talk.
He just kind of like mugged me, you know, He was the one with
(50:46):
the pencil, mustache, the mullet.
Very rat faced guy, Stocky. I think he probably wrestled.
He wrestled off his fucking campcounselor.
Yeah. And he's wearing a a black.
He didn't. Put up a good fight.
He's wearing a black wife beaterand then there's another guy who
(51:13):
looks like I can find this guy'sname because he just came up on
my YouTube. Hold on just a second.
The other guy has the face and hair of Jack Neal from TikTok.
(51:35):
You don't know him, but it'll just give them context to look
him up. Yeah, the YouTube Jack Neal, but
had less of a manly face. He doesn't have a manly face.
Though I know that's so you see my point.
(51:55):
And he was wearing like, you know, the new scrubs that people
wear when they're ugly. So ugly nurses wear a certain
type of scrub. Now it's newer and they have
like a weird cropped sleeve where it's like pointed.
It doesn't fit right. It's a smock.
It's it's a smock. It looks cheap by the fucking
(52:17):
Grey's Anatomy scrubs or the figs.
Oh. They sell their own brand of
scrubs now? Well.
Grey's Anatomy is a brand. It's the nicest brand of scrubs.
Grey's Anatomy is just a a book that you read in Med school, but
it's the anatomy textbook. Or at least it was.
I don't know if it still is, butI.
Don't feel like that's accurate,but I'm going to Grey's.
(52:37):
Anatomy is the anatomy textbook.It sounds like a smut book like
50 Shades, no? That's the television show
called Grey's Anatomy. Yeah, yeah.
I don't think the shades of Grey's.
Anatomy. I get it.
Hey one of Russell Dr. Mick Steamy just came here with ALS
(52:58):
so good for him. Proud of you.
I'm happy. For him, anyway, he's so.
Brave. Like his whole like.
Russell, no one's going to listen to this.
I'm. Sorry.
Anyway, so 90s Disney movie gay guys.
The third person was Ryan Trahanfrom YouTube.
(53:22):
You've, I don't know if you've seen him before, but I'll look
him up like maybe he spells his name.
RAYAN. He actually might also spell his
name that way. Nope.
But he spells his last name thatway.
Yeah, he. Does so this is Ryan Trahan, a
YouTuber. He's like a sweet kid.
(53:42):
Doesn't do it. He doesn't have any scandals yet
that I know of. Just a sweet guy that does like
Mr. B style videos but on a smaller scale.
But the guy looked exactly like Ryan Trahan, but he was wearing
a backwards snap back and he waswearing velociraptor sunglasses
and it was 2:30 in the morning are.
(54:04):
Velociraptor sunglasses the sameas the pit Vipers so.
That's what I meant. OK.
Is pit Viper. 'Cause you said that twice, I
was like, I don't know what thatis.
That's sad because I've said it now to so many people telling
this story. Our velociraptor maybe?
It's a like a sub brand of it. No, look it up, look up
velociraptor sunglasses so that I can know because you said it
(54:26):
was such confidence. It's like you have seen it
spell. Velociraptor.
VL Stop. It's not helping
sun glasses. I.
(54:49):
Mean there is no there's not. I mean if you look at the bottom
left by Homs Optic, which is an unfortunate name for.
Anyway, so we got Ryan Trahan, Jack Neil and a rat with a
mullet, right? Jack Neil is wearing the
baggiest mom jeans on a boy thatI've seen since Jinko jeans,
(55:11):
right? But it is the new style for like
lesbians to wear makes. Me, Miss Matilda.
So. I hope she's OK.
I miss her too. She's so brave to be straight.
And go out like that is really cool.
(55:35):
I mean this sincerely, and I know it doesn't sound like that
because, well, I love you and miss you and I am an asshole
anyway. Yeah.
And I think he actually did havea septum piercing.
But the only thing these guys were missing was one a pack of
(55:57):
cigarettes rolled up into their sleeves.
Now, one of them couldn't do it because he didn't have sleeves
because he was too cool for sleeves when was wearing a black
wife beater, the coolest colour of wife beater black.
And the other thing they were missing was doing like, the snap
when they walk, you know? Yeah, Like the jazzy.
Yeah, And I walk out of the gas station, I get in my car, I'm on
(56:22):
a doughnut, right? Have been for a little bit.
I'm an irresponsible young man and.
Not young anymore. I'm an irresponsible, gross fat
guy. And one of them goes Jack Neal
goes, hey, what happened to yourtire?
(56:43):
And I'm like, it popped and like, yeah, OK.
And you're like he. Didn't trust you?
Yeah. And then so the next part's
funny, they're like. Oh, you caught me.
(57:04):
I hate. It so then at Pico.
It's a serious metal. So my, it's Pika.
Whatever. But, and I think I have it, I've
been eating my hair. But so you guys don't know that
(57:31):
Mazda that you've seen in pictures is the power key
clapped out the exhaust sounds real cool.
And it's because it's broken. It's because there's a gasket
missing where two of the pieces of pipe connect.
It's like this like aluminum little piece of metal that sits
(57:53):
between the fitting. They know.
What a gasket is and. It is true.
Like have them work in a shop. I didn't know this.
They don't sound like it, but neither do I.
So although Nick does sound likehe worked in a shop but.
Anyway, you work in a pseudo office.
(58:15):
Yes, I do work in this office so.
He is sorefice Jack. Neal goes.
What'd you do fucking? Sorefice.
He goes my bomb. Alive in summer camp.
(58:39):
I'm telling. Sorry, he.
Goes he goes, what you do to your exhaust, It sounds nice.
And I go, it broke. It broke.
It's 2:30 in the morning. Why are these people talking to
me? He goes nice.
(59:01):
And they're just like laughing at me, like they're doing this
because they're making fun of me.
Like this is like their tone. I know it sounds like I'm
playing a victim. I'm not.
This whole situation is funny tome.
But I want to get across they are doing this with the
intention of being bullies. And so my response to him
laughing off what I said was theoldest response in the book.
(59:26):
Shouldn't you guys be in bed and.
Did they get mad? So the cool one, the rat was in
the middle of taking a cool swigof his probably white monster
(59:47):
and, you know, gets it to his lips and kind of stops and gives
me a side eye. And Jack Neal goes, what did you
say? And I speed off because I didn't
want to shoot children. And I was going to.
(01:00:08):
It's like, OK, you haven't ever watched Tenacious D and The Pick
of Destiny, and shame on you forthat.
I. Have what are you talking about?
I watched that like 10 times when I was a kid.
So you remember the Clockwork Orange No where the guy sitting
on the the bed or on the bench. I.
Remember almost nothing from that.
The only thing you haven't watched is the Dick push ups or
(01:00:28):
the cock push ups which I think.You may have seen it I.
Hate that word, but oh. I'm sorry Mama Russ is getting
sensitive now. I don't like cock, it makes me
uncomfortable. It's your sore clip that.
Guys and spread it. I don't want any misconceptions.
(01:00:51):
I do not like cock. I just don't like cock because
it's used in smart books as likea sexual term.
Yeah. And I think penis is more sexual
than cock. How that's?
A medical term. And I'm into hot nurses.
(01:01:12):
Would you? Prefer phallus?
Actually, yeah, over cock for sure.
I would member. Is a good one I.
Don't. I don't prefer a member, but I
guess I would prefer a member toa cock.
That's almost used exclusively in females mud.
But I've seen cock before. You've.
Never seen a member it. Was awful.
(01:01:36):
I just don't like cock. All that Tenacious D stuff to
say like was you. Was that whole scenario you
avoiding getting beat up on a bench by a bunch of people in a
mask? I wouldn't have gotten beat up.
Put that on record. Gun don't really care about
their age, would have shot OK more than I needed to.
(01:02:01):
You've been Rittenhouse, you've been take a couple hits and then
you and shot someone's bicep offby.
Rittenhouse, do you mean like doing the right thing in the
situation? Because no you.
Wouldn't do the right thing I. Wouldn't do the right thing.
I would shoot them so many times.
You'd have them like I would. Be more put their arms behind.
Their back sit on their knees and I would.
(01:02:22):
Be more of a Dylan Klebold styleguy all right he was one of the
Columbine basketball he's like the point guard, one of the best
shooters for Columbine the basketball team and also that
one time he went into the schooland killed some kids with his
(01:02:42):
friend who I never remember his other name all.
Right. I wouldn't be Dylan Roof though.
He was racist, I think. Is he going for the melon in
high school or something? He.
Shot up a black church specifically because they were
black. Oops.
Yeah, not a really Christian thing to do.
(01:03:03):
Be black and shoot up a church. Yikes.
So yeah, it was, it was a fun experience and.
Also on record, they could not beat Russell up.
They well, one of them probably could have no the the rat guy
wrestling. Experience.
The rat guy gave me. I wouldn't allow it.
(01:03:27):
I mean we would have fought it out, but he gave me like he
could fight me style like not like he could like take a
fighter, but like he would have the energy to you have a handle.
On me, which means you have the access to the power of yeah,
strength well for. 1 My older brother's kid.
(01:03:51):
I can't touch him because when every time I touch him he cries.
Let me rephrase that. Whoa, Drunkle strikes again.
He just, he gets hurt so easily and scared so easily that you
can't like. You're making the word sorefice
(01:04:12):
not sound fun anymore. That you can't like Roughhouse
with him. The the one that we refer to as
my nephson, my sister in law's kid.
I'm afraid that I'm going to hurt him even though he is the
most robust of the three nephewsthat I have.
He was four months Prem. He was gross.
(01:04:36):
He was four months premature andlike, I feel like I'm going to
cause something, you know, he. Filled out nicely, he's always.
He is bigger than most kids his age.
He's. Stocky little punk.
Yeah, he is a big fat redhead. Butt head.
Good. My little brother's kid.
The most beautiful child in the world.
(01:04:58):
Gorgeous baby. I know you hate it when I say
that, but it's true. He was the most gorgeous baby
I've ever seen. Russell, please stop.
I have gotten confirmation that it's not that weird for me to
say this. If you see something, say
(01:05:18):
something. I'm seeing something and I.
Saw it. He's gorgeous.
I said it out loud. He was a beautiful child.
Well, baby, I don't know. I was a child.
Anyway, I want Macaulay. Culkin you think?
The one that I'm not going to attack.
What do you mean? What?
Macaulay Culkin was the one guy Michael Jackson didn't molest.
(01:05:44):
I'm saying is he going to like have adult features as a child
that he will never grow into? He didn't have adult features.
He's a baby now. You're making it weird.
He had beautiful little doe eyes, like big like like.
(01:06:05):
So the Thunder 1 basketball I. Don't ever want to fucking talk
about basketball again. I want to talk about anything
else. Anyway, well I say all this to
say I want my little brother to move here because I think the
only kid that I could roughhousewith is the other one my niece
might like fill out muscular wise.
(01:06:25):
But right now she's the scrawniest little kid I've ever
seen. Like she's just so thin and
dainty. She has the energy to take me
and we race all the time but some.
Would call Russell a. I'm a racist but I don't think I
could fight with her 'cause I'm afraid I will break her.
(01:06:45):
She is my older brother's kid, which means she is made of
glass. That's true, but you have to
beat them up young. You think their?
Ass. Have any influence of that?
I don't know how you get to be an authority on dads.
(01:07:07):
I would like to reiterate you don't have one.
I had the placeholders. This is true I.
Had the best placeholders it's. Like, somehow your sister did
turn out to be a badass. You turned out.
(01:07:29):
No, you got to beat them up withtheir little You have to.
Yes, you have to expose them to fucking peanuts, otherwise
they'll grow up weak. You don't want to grow up with a
nut allergy. And that's why Russell does his
part with his beautiful. Nephew, he's adorable.
(01:07:50):
OK, some say gorgeous, I guess. Look at.
That Look at that cutie. It's a baby.
Oh. It's gone.
Quite like fawning over here. Look.
At this one, the one by my thumb, I.
Can't see anything. Why does it keep doing?
That look at that one. He's wearing a bow tie.
It's funny. It's a dapper baby, yeah.
(01:08:14):
That's the redhead, Dapper. Diaper baby.
Yeah. So this has been the fish tank
chill prison podcast. It will be the only fish tank
chill prison podcast. I do not want to put him through
that again. I don't want to be put through
it again. Fuck you guys, I'm.
Going home, we. Have to record one more episode,
see it, fuck. Love you guys.
(01:08:38):
Bye. None.
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