Ep. 129: Nohio

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Episode Transcript

(00:00):
You are now entering the prism. Mine fucks with both of ours.
I don't have individual control for mine, it's just for
everybody. Like it's like your.
Input's weak. Welcome back.

(00:22):
Next episode, Joe burns five guys.
You got a bed and runs by the seats.
We're about to take you on a journey into fucking shit.
I just got called fat by a little black child.
It was pretty fucking pretty fucking funny.
It was cool as shit. He literally looked at me and
said you're fat. Dude, like it's scary when you

(00:42):
know the trajectory of someone'slife just from knowing them.
Oh yeah, he's going to be a fucking G.
Yeah, he's going to do very poorly in the public school
system. Yeah, hopefully has
entrepreneurial spirit. No, he's going to get fucked.
Yeah, he's going to mouth off tothe wrong dude.
Yeah, he's going to get a shot. Hopefully he gets beat up early

(01:02):
enough by the right person. Well.
His mom was hitting him pretty hard.
I. Fucking heard it.
I heard like you. OK, here's here's going to be my
approximation of the sound. Hopefully I can get this.
You were hearing that shit? Yeah.
You were hearing like some fucking solid pounds.
It was going into bone. That shit was fucking crazy.

(01:22):
That was, that was. I couldn't look at her.
That was pretty funny. I could not look at that woman.
I mean, he deserved it. Yeah, but she should have like
put the kibosh on that like way.Early.
Oh yeah. She let that shit ride for a
minute. Yeah, we had some videos.
Videos in the studio, videos, visitors in the studio.
And she brought her band of merry men.

(01:47):
Yep, misfits her children and one of them is a little black
toddler and he was running around making noises.
Either she has really strong genetics or they're all the same
father. Either way, nicely done.
Why do you say that? They look very.
Similar Oh OK yeah. Or why?
Why why is saying that they're all the same father like a A?

(02:08):
Badge of honor. A significance.
Because that means that the woman has more value in herself
and doesn't just have sexual partners.
Throughout do you find it surprising that they're all the
same father, and if so, why would you?
I think it's an effort to be commended.
I have a reason why I as a. Coaching as a coaching strategy.
You're supposed to support good behaviour.
I think it but but my question was and you're dodging it.

(02:31):
Do you find it surprising? As a coaching method, you're
supposed to encourage good behaviour.
You celebrate it. Do you think it had anything to
do with her tone as to why it was surprising?
And I don't mean her vocal tone.I feel like she has developed

(02:53):
that voice because she had to dolike a call centre job and just
fad more success because she doesn't sound like any
stereotypes. Well, she sounds like a very
similar a person, like an Indianperson that does a really good
like American accent, like a foreign person doing an American
accent. I'm I feel dirty like putting

(03:15):
this out there, but if you if you do an approximation of like
an extreme accent, an extreme American accent, people who in
this is like 98% of people in America with regular accents,
because our accent is the perfect and ideal accent.
We'll assume that you are an American that you just talk
funny. So if you do kind of like a

(03:38):
redneck accent as an Indian called service person and you do
a decent job of it, you don't have to nail it, but you'll
you'll net more results. Yeah.
So I don't know, like she had, she had some inner city
tendencies, but I wouldn't say that she had like a strong
accent either way. Yeah, there's a lady at the

(04:00):
McDonald's on Console and Northwest Expressway that works
nights there, and she has the same accent as the guy that's in
the little shop that they go into to get like coats and stuff
in the movie Frozen. I've never seen that.

(04:20):
Norwegian like Scandinavian accent.
OK, but this is a giant Mexican lady.
Fuck yeah. And she goes.
And how can I help you? I can't.
I can't even do it. But it's like, very, very.
You'd think it's like a little Nordic white woman.
Yeah. And then you pull up to the
window and you're like, whoa, fuck.
Yeah. What is that?

(04:40):
Again, she she understood the culture.
She knew what got results. And now she's gainfully employed
in the American capital system. Yeah.
OK, since we're here, we need tomake some statements.
Statement #1 is I like to formally retract my statement
about Mike from the high T boys.He's officially a high T boy.

(05:04):
I I have been called out for calling him the low T character
in that podcast. Oh shit.
But now we're friends. You were always friends.
Russell because we bonded over 1.
Piece. Oh, so he's a freak?
You guys are fucking freaks. I have the same relationship
with him that you have with Johnon the Discord, which is we

(05:27):
speak through respective friends.
We have a surrogate, yeah. It's like handing notes to each
other like, hey, do you like, doyou like Jennifer?
Yes or no? And you like circle it, but you
kind of like circle big so it could hit the No.
Yeah. It's like, I don't know, John.
'S another one is I've been saying.

(05:51):
That is John taking me to Fall Formal I.
Don't know. Another one is I've been
calling, I've been giving shout outs to these guys, you know,
saying like go watch their stuffand counter signal stuff.
I've been calling his YouTube channel Door Break and the
Breach podcast. That's what I thought it was

(06:12):
'cause I figured, well, maybe they like, I'd like, I thought
maybe it was like a Rainbow 6 Siege.
Like that's what they were. They played a lot or something.
So like that's what it is 'causeit's about like breaking into a
house and killing people basically.
I think I only played it a couple times, but I recently
realized that it's Door Beak now.

(06:33):
I don't know what that means butgo check out Door Beak on
YouTube. You're gonna have to harvest or
harvest a different karma. Yeah.
You have to make up for that lost time, which means you need
a rag on a a group of people that no one likes, like celery

(06:54):
eaters, the people who are raw dog celery without putting on an
accessory food. People that eat the shell with
their heartburn, hey. You shut your fucking mouth.
You shut your fucking mouth, Russell.
I thought he was playing a joke.I feel so.
Sincere, I like went. So there's a guy that was that
asked a very innocent question. Hey, do you guys also eat the

(07:16):
shell when you eat your hard boiled egg?
And everybody was like, what thefuck are you talking about?
No. One was like, oh buddy.
No, we were, it was, it was almost like immediate anger.
And then there's this one guy who's new to the discord that
was like, I'll try it, immediately regretted it.
But while that was the build up to him trying, it was happening.

(07:37):
I went into the DMS and I just DMS Goblin Slayer.
I was like, please tell me you're just fucking with him.
He goes, no, this is real. I'm like, well, you are a
legend, but that's fucking crazy.
And. You will be remembered as such
when your fucking colon gets perforated.
It's good for the bones. That's what he that's what he,
says I. Mean there's calcium in there,

(07:57):
that is true. He's been having this.
I don't know. Let's call him G Slayer on the
podcast, it sounds. Like I actually, I don't want to
air out his dirty laundry because I don't, I don't know if
it's a public thing. Don't even don't even do that.
It was out of respect. For G Slayer, he had a really
funny situation happened to him at work with one of the
employees that got fired and butI I don't think I should talk

(08:20):
about it without his permission.It was pretty funny though.
He's a bet. You have to get ESPN's Express
written consent to record the bowl.
The kind that like plays with animals, not the kind that
shoots people. But.
Both are pretty cool. Yeah.

(08:41):
Except one of them does kill animals and gets paid to do it
and also has the family members there sitting there crying under
the guise that this is the best choice for everyone.
Oh, another thing is apparently we're both Democrats that are
just committing hoaxes on the Internet.
According to the President of the United States, his entire

(09:03):
base is just Democrats because we want the Epstein stuff
released and that is, According to him, a Democrat hoax.
OK, all right. I thought you were roping me
into something silly, but no, I'm not in full bore.
Yeah, send me the files. You don't have to read them out
loud. I'll do it for you.

(09:24):
Send me the files. It doesn't.
Give me the list. It's, I mean, like I didn't
expect to get them, but I also didn't expect for you to like
spit in my mouth while saying no, you know?
He's gotten everything he wants with that attitude.
Why would that change? He's never turned on his own

(09:45):
base like that before, like he'sturned on he was the.
Democrat before he even ran for.Fucking no.
I'm talking about when, like since he's been president.
Oh, OK, now he. Yeah, like this is the first
time he's like turning. Like this is the first time he's
like specifically turned on the people that actually fucking
voted for him. Like the whole time he's he's
been against the entire Republican establishment.

(10:06):
That's the first time that he's done that.
That he's turned on the voters it's fucking well this all this
all happened like at the same time, OK like this whole this
like the past like 6 weeks have just been a clusterfuck of
ridiculousness it's. 'Cause his veins are bad.
Dude, give him a break. His leg veins don't work so good

(10:29):
no more. Yeah.
So yeah. Dude feel this can look at how
much I've actually drank from this can.
Not much. Barely anything.
Can we talk about the liquid that you left in my fucking cart
today? Yeah, yeah.

(10:55):
Let's talk about it. I got in there and it my eyes
immediately started watering it smelled so bad.
I. Dropped it in there when you
were in there with me. OK either way, as soon as it hit
my nose it hit my eyeballs as well.
And your fucking soul. Mike farts just smell different.

(11:20):
Yeah, yeah, OK. Do they have more funk to them?
Do they? No, I think it's the pop.
Filter you think like the actual.
It just like adds to it. It makes you smell synthetic.
Factor from your previous deposits.

(11:41):
No, because it's, I mean right away, the first first fart.
No matter how hard you're sniffing, you're never going to
make a full withdrawal, you knowthat, right?
But I can try. Sniff harder.
Yeah. Do it for the listener, right?
How do you feel on the high notes?
I didn't even actually smell anything.

(12:02):
I smelled so hard that it no youbypassed my all you were.
A victim so hard you you like, stared into the nuclear blast
and your retinas are gone from what I did to you this morning.
That was bad. That was crazy.
It smelled like diarrhea. No it didn't.
Yes it did. No it didn't.
It smelled like my diarrhea. Well, OK, well, you're a fucking

(12:26):
case study for. Sure, yeah.
You're not a fair match, I. I've had farts that smell like
one of those camp toilets, like the ones that are just an
endless void into the nothingness.
You know you. Mean a porta potty.
Yeah, but like I'm talking aboutlike the porta potties that stay
there, the non portable porta potties.
Yeah. Oh, I saw.

(12:49):
Speaking of potties, Yeah, I sawsomebody posted a somebody, a
foreman on a job site, came out of the Porta Potti really
pissed. And he wasn't wearing his hard
hat. He's like who peed in the helmet
holder? Sweet Prince, Sweet, sweet

(13:14):
Prince. And it reminded me of the time I
was telling you about that family that worked for Mercury
Marine that migrated up to Wisconsin to work for Merc up
there. Yeah.
And they were like, surprised the dirt was not black, you
know? So the mom of that family, we
went to this every year there's during opening season for

(13:35):
walleye fishing, we have this like festival called Walleye
Weekend and it's it's just like a block party that's set up
along the shore of Lake Winnebago.
Wait is walleye like a differentbeat like breed from sockeye
like are? There, I have no idea.
I don't OK do a lot of fishing, so I just know that walleye
weekend is like a special. Festival.
Thing And so we'll have like bands come in and I think that's

(13:59):
why I saw Theory of a Dead Man. I believe it.
Anyway. Their first summer there, they
went to Walla weekend with us and she comes out of the porta
potty and she goes. It's so nice.
They have like a little place for you to set your purse.
Oh, no. Oh.

(14:19):
No, she'd never been in a porta potty before and we had to break
the news to her and she's like, well, I'm getting a new Yep.
Did you at least get a chance towarn her before she sat in her
motor vehicle? Yeah, yeah, Thank God.
I've been like asking for a trash bag or something from
anyone or yeah everyone around me.
The AIDS that's in those fuckingporta potty urinals.

(14:41):
The ejaculate that's in those port, that purse is pregnant.
It's about to have a bunch of baby wallets.
Baby wallets. Oh man, I so I've had this joke
in my head for a while. Is it bad?

(15:03):
Yeah, but we have a, there's a channel on the Discord called
Testosterone, and it's just likeall like workout, you know,
stuff. And I've been waiting very
patiently for somebody to say the phrase my body is a temple
so that I could respond to my body.

(15:23):
My body is a Sikh temple. It's filthy and full of shit.
And nobody really thought that was funny.
Yeah, yeah, you know what? That's a good group to go ahead
and pitch your jokes to 'cause they're, they're pretty on the
pulse of what's gonna land. It's like, oh.

(15:48):
Yeah. Not even a cricket.
You just flat on. My favorite thing is during live
streams I'll be in the chat justthrowing jokes out and they will
read. They read the chats out loud as
they catch them and it just so happens and I'm sure everybody

(16:08):
experiences this but one thing is like they'll read the person
that just said something before me and then they'll read the
person that said something afterme and not read fuck.
And you have to like, wonder, was that a conscious decision
they made? Yeah, or, And I'm like, man, I'm
not funny. Damn it, it's my best material.

(16:34):
It's mostly just puns about spore my knee fucking.
Hurts. We're fat, dude.
That's what comes with the territory.
Yeah. Did I tell you what the doctor
said about my knee? Yeah, after the MRI.

(16:55):
Yeah, I think you told. I think you.
Said, OK, yeah, there's just, there's just liquid in there and
there's nothing I can do about it.
Can you put it back in doc? When you spent eight years in
fucking Med school? Did they learn you how to put
fucking fluids back? No, take it out.
No, put extra in. I don't want more, it hurts.

(17:18):
Dude, we need some leaf springs in our suspension if you know
what I mean. Yeah.
We need some shock absorbers dude.
I see stuff that I physically like.
My muscles strength output is high enough for me to be able to
execute them, yeah, but the structural integrity of my

(17:39):
joints I know for a fact. It's just taking a shit.
Can handle 1 1/2. Yeah, it's like I'll, I'll be
able to get out one good one andthen like be like, oh, no
fucking way. I can still do that.
And then like, guys check this shit out and then I'll fucking
fold with an audience. Yeah, fucking ankles buckling,
knees buckling, hip thrown out. Just the amount of like.

(18:02):
Laying on my fucking arm. Weird, the amount of, like, old
guy shortcuts that I take just nowadays, like, just embarrassed
on the daily. Yeah.
Like, I used to be able, like getting those giant battery
packs off of the back of the cart.
You know, I used to like, full on, just take one step onto the
cart, just lift my leg up. Yeah.

(18:23):
And now I'm like, I back up to it and I sit there and I shimmy
backwards till my feet are up onthe cartoon.
And then I like use the top of the cart to pull myself up to a
standing position. Fuck.
Yeah. Lean into it, it's happening,
it's time comes for us all. My appetite has gotten the

(18:46):
better me. I eat fucking good and I have
the physique that proves it. I don't eat barely anything.
Yeah, it's what you eat. I know, dude.
I walked by your fucking car. You just cleaned that out like a
month ago. Yeah.
It is filled on the passenger seat, which is like fast food

(19:10):
wrappers out the ass. Yeah.
I, I, I don't know, I barely eat.
Dude, you have a hard gun being shot into your gully.
Recently all I've been eating for breakfast is 4 gas station
taquitos. Fuck dude it used to be 5 or 6
Donuts so at least you're. Giving me the courtesy of a slow

(19:33):
death. Yeah.
I appreciate that. Yeah, I am suicidal.
It's just I don't want to do it quickly.
Yeah, you want to. You want to enjoy it.
You want it to be a nice slow burn.
Painful but slow. Yeah.
You've seen the shit I've been eating as of late.
I. Fried fish was like the only

(19:54):
like fucking gross stuff I've been able to have.
Yeah, and you didn't get to haveit, dude.
I'm scared to eat it. I'm so scared to eat it when I
had it. The first night it was fine and
my body was fine, but I feel like maybe there was going to be
like, maybe that was a warning shot.
Yeah. Like, hey, you've had your
indulgence, calm. Your fucked, yeah.

(20:16):
Calm. For context, he gave me his
entire lunch today because he thought he was going to shit his
pants. No, I knew I was.
OK, Yeah. I knew it was if we didn't have
the assistance of your wheels, Iwould have definitely shipped my
pants. Like the heartbreak that I felt
when our custodial staff was cleaning was like was was

(20:37):
inching toward the bathroom not even in there yet.
Like I didn't even have the dignity of like a a peaceful
shit. Nope.
Which that's been taken from me on a regular basis as of late.
They have the worst timing. I mean had the worst time
literally when I had to shit. I had to shit when you had to
shit. So I drove to a different
bathroom and they had they were cleaning my bathroom so I had to

(21:00):
go to a different one. I think you could smell the
urgency for mine. They just open the door and they
go, Oh no, somebody is in there.Yeah, there's no room for
negotiations. We'll pay full price.
Just get me in that fucking bathroom.
But it was chill. It was chill.
They did a good job. I'm cleaning that one and.

(21:21):
They need to put fucking AC in that those bathrooms.
It's so hot and I feel like I'm going to slip off this fucking
seat. I like the sacrificial layer of
sweat between me and my feces. See, I get a sacrificial layer
of blood, so I don't, I don't need the sweat.

(21:45):
I do have AGI track. It's been to war.
It's served. I have AGI Joe Tract.
Snake eater or snake vomiter? Snake.

(22:09):
Snake eaters on Saturdays when you need to make a little extra
money, keep the lights on. This episode will be titled
Snake Feeder If I remember. If Grok remembers to tell me
when I feed the text file to Grok to give me a description of

(22:29):
what we talked about, because I never fucking remember.
So do you think that there's a aperson out there who's a dude
specifically who formulates his foods so that when he poops it
hits his G spot? Like sounding's a thing?
So I feel like that's not so farfetched, Like he cultivates the

(22:52):
perfect diet that the food's noteven necessarily good or good
tasting. Doesn't all poop hit your G spot
and you just aren't? But in a specific way, you're
important. I feel like if you start jerking
off while you're in mid shit then that's when your G spot can
be activated by shitting like I feel like.

(23:12):
You have to like, wake it up first.
Yeah, I feel like it needs to be.
It's like. Trying to push the AC button
when the car's only in run, not starting.
I think you need to prime it like with the little.
You know how like you prime a 2 stroke by pushing the little
nipple thing? Would that not be the G?
'S button. Yeah, if I grab my nipples while
I'm shitting, then I cum. Oh, OK.

(23:33):
Nice, nice. Yeah.
Oh shit, I have to chug this entire thing.
Management's coming. How do you know?
Can you hear him? Yeah, you can't.
No, I'm deaf, dude. OK, weird.

(23:55):
Speaking of ears, I woke up thismorning and I'm laying there
past two mornings. I've literally just woken up.
My eyes just like bursting open.There's no like like I like had
stopped breathing. It's just like I wake up and it
feels like I had just closed my eyes.
Like I've gotten no good sleep the past two nights for some

(24:15):
reason. I don't know what the weird
what's happening, but I wake up and I'm laying there for a
couple minutes and then I have this searing pain in my left ear
and it like triggers memories ofI used to get really bad ear
infections when I was little. Yeah.
And I'd get like double barrel ear infections.

(24:36):
They had to like take my something out and put tubes in.
And multiple times I've had multiple surgeries on them.
Station tubes. I don't know what that means.
It's. The tube that goes from your ear
canal to your throat. They had to put tubes in my
ears. To keep them from like swelling
shut from infection. I believe so I don't know.

(24:58):
And I've had I had to have that multiple times I'd go, I've been
to the emergency room because they were just both bleeding.
I. Didn't know they could bleed
from that. Yeah, that was when I was really
little. Like, I don't really have a
whole lot of memory of it other than, thank God when I got an
ear infection, like later in life, like just having that

(25:20):
memory of how bad it is. Yeah.
And then this morning I was like, not again.
And then it just went away. I don't know what it was.
I don't know if, like, because Iwent to bed with wet hair, which
I normally do. I just because what I do is I
just take a T-shirt. I have a collection of old
T-shirts. I just put it over my head to

(25:42):
keep it. Wash those T-shirts.
Yeah. Yeah.
When? How frequently?
As frequently as all my other clothes.
I don't put. I don't reuse the hair T-shirts
until they're washed. I don't.
Wash. Them Now hold on.
I'm pretty good about not wearing dirty T-shirts.
I'm not good about not wearing dirty jeans.
OK, but now my brother, I will say spelled.

(26:05):
You walk into the office. Today.
Like today, today. These were clean last night.
Fuck. Dude, yeah, fuck, that's how
much I fucking sweat in the morning, Yeah.
We need to fucking replace this blower motor.
No, it was at my desk. We need to fix your fucking
diet. Yeah, but anyway, no.

(26:25):
I could smell myself the a couple days ago, but I will
admit I did not. Dad needed to walk someone who
or talk to someone who walked into her office asked him like
if it smelled good in you knowing you were in here, which
also that was fucking. Hilarious.
Yeah. But yeah.

(26:47):
But I had taken the T-shirt off my head 'cause it kept, you
know, getting in the way and falling off and stuff.
And so I my only thing thought is like when that pain happened,
like I had just like, hair just jabbed in my ear or something.
And then, but that's all I can think of 'cause it just went
away and it doesn't hurt anymore.
It's fucking. I just had like a full on five

(27:08):
second ear infection this morning.
It was crazy. Speed ran it.
It sucked. No, no, that's good.
I'd rather have it. Yeah, I mean.
Short and sweet. Yeah.
That's weird, have you ever likestrained to poop or fart so bad
that your ears started ringing from like high blood pressure?
That you My ears are always ringing so.

(27:30):
Thank you for your service. So yeah.
So yes, but maybe not specifically for that reason.
I mean, yes, I have, I know whatyou're talking about, but it's
hardly noticeable over the otherringing that's already

(27:50):
happening. I'm like it's so loud right now.
I mean I've I've strained so hard from like eating way too.
Much that you get though. Yeah, but I've also gotten like
the fucking starry vision. For Oh yeah, yeah, I just get
that normally. And I was like oh fuck, I need
to calm down. I get that just sitting around

(28:13):
I. Feel like I was pushing so hard
I was going to create a new B hole.
I get that just standing up too fast.
I've had that my whole life. The new B hole.
The first time I saw stars I waslike, holy shit, I didn't know
that that was real. It's pretty cool though.
I was like what the fuck was that?
Because like as you move your eye it also moves kind of like
when you have like a floater. Yeah.

(28:34):
You can't, like track it down. Yeah.
So it's like, where is that coming from?
I'm like, oh, it's coming from in me.
Speaking of coming from Inya, how do you feel about that cream
pie I gave you? I haven't touched it yet, I'll
eat it later. Hell yeah.

(28:57):
But I love a good Boston cream. Forget about it I feel like.
Never forget the. Mob.
Is mob close enough to Boston account?
I don't know. You guys in New York can be mad
about it. I don't really.
Is the mob in Boston, is that you're saying?

(29:17):
I'm saying are those accents close enough?
Yes, in proximity too. Yes, it's all degenerate.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. East of the Mason.
Dixon I well, I mean it. Let's actually, that's what we
can do, since we have literally nothing to talk about.
Well, this is what. We want to do like an accent

(29:38):
map. No, we can just try.
We can let's, let's like track down our, let's get a solid like
definition of the regions as we know them and we are the
authority on them. Accurate.
That is accurate. All right, maps, if you see it,

(30:03):
let me know. No, OK.
You passed it like a long time ago.
Is it on the screen right now? It's like literally.
In the first 3, fuck dude, we'regoing to die.

(30:23):
The world's going to depend on us and we're going to be the
reason we're in Ruud. That's such a disappointing
feeling. Man, I forget how far West we
are from Wisconsin. What do you mean?
It just it's like a one state gap.
Yeah, but it's a whole state. You know, I always picture

(30:45):
Texas, Texas and Oklahoma, like right here.
You know, I never realized. I always forget how like how
much Missouri is in between there.
All of the Missouri. And then I always, I know I
always forget how Far East Ohio is because Ohio is like, this is

(31:06):
where the Midwest starts, is right here on the board.
Now, some people might argue that there's some Midwest in
Pennsylvania and maybe. No, those are just called the
Amish. Yeah, that's kind of what I was
thinking. OK, let's, I want to continue on
this, but we need to put this out here right now.
The reason why Kansas City showsup as a dot on Missouri is

(31:29):
because that's their capital, isit?
Am I understanding that correctly?
Is Kansas City their capital? Fucking open a new tab.
I'm pretty sure it's Saint Louis, but I don't know.
OK. Saint Louis feels right.
I used to know all of the capitals.
My grandpa used to quiz me on them.
It's a weird ass flex, but I like.
It I know, but now I just I don't know.

(31:52):
Missouri City is in Texas. Yeah, fuck you, Missouri.
We saw what you did to Kansas. Jefferson.
Jefferson City no one's ever heard.
Of that, no one's ever been there.
But it's a it's a prevalent enough city that Missouri stakes
claim to that gets and it flaunts it right next to fucking

(32:14):
Kansas. It's very hey, I have your
fucking car keys scrubbed. It's very strange that Saint
Louis isn't showing up. Or fucking Jefferson City.
Well, I mean. Saint Louis is a hub.
No or Oklahoma City is not showing up in Oklahoma.
It's true, Norman's popping up before.
That's super weird. OK there it is like 1 brief

(32:35):
scroll in and then it shows. Up.
Yeah, that is. Oh, there's Saint Louis.
It was fucking Illinois. Well, it's on the border.
I always forget that part of Saint Louis is So what?
Really like the only way that a city in Missouri becomes popular
is if it's almost the fuck out of Missouri.
Because Missouri sucks. I mean it is called misery.

(32:59):
I mean, they do have some prettygood compromises, though, and we
had to go and ruin that. Did you watch the Watchmen TV
show? The what?
The Watchmen TV show? No.
Do you know what happens in it? No.
So at the beginning, have you ever heard of this thing called

(33:21):
Black Wall Street? Yeah.
You know, it was in Tulsa. Yeah.
It was this mythical place that never existed in Tulsa, OK,
where Black people thrived. Black.
Eden. Yeah.
And the first scene in the Watchmen show, I believe it's

(33:42):
the first scene, is the Tulsa Massacre.
Jesus. Christ, they were talking about
that show on the Discord and I just went, this is my favorite
scene and I just posted the YouTube video of that scene.
It was like, I don't think that happened.

(34:02):
Black people didn't know what Wall Street was back.
No, they didn't. They made their own.
They did it. Cooler somehow.
So yeah, I think the Midwest starts in Ohio, like on the
border of Ohio. That is mid but also E though.

(34:23):
Yeah. So I don't know if you know
this, but most of the country lives here.
Most of the country lives here. And so when you talk to anybody,
just in general, this is what's referred to as the middle of the

(34:44):
country. This is the East.
So like, 'cause OK, here's this,OK, 'cause everybody knows
Wisconsin's part of the Midwest,is that West or mid?
'Cause I would say that's more mid than West geographically.
Certainly mid, more E yeah, and Midwest.

(35:04):
Yeah. So it's not actually about the
positioning, it's about the culture for sure.
And in this case, the whiteness of the culture, OK.
I'm following. And so tracking, but it's a
specific breed of whiteness. It's Midwestern whiteness, and I
believe that starts in pencil orin Ohio the.

(35:27):
Don't you know? Starts right there at Ohio.
I don't know. I hope not.
Just another part of no, I do know about it.
I don't like to think about it though, so I think it starts
here. Right in the middle finger of
yeah. On the border between Ohio and

(35:47):
Pennsylvania, it comes down and circles around.
Well, West Virginia's not included.
No, OK, no. What's the culture there?
Appalachian. Oh, Hill.
Yeah. Cool.
Yeah. So I think it comes down and
goes about halfway through, likeall of Ohio is encompassed into
it. And then I think it stops like
right here on the border of Yeahat Cincinnati, like on the very

(36:11):
corner of Ohio, like right between Kentucky and Ohio, and
then like cuts Kentucky in half.Oh, I would not have anticipated
Kentucky being included in Midwest.
I mean, it could go around the outside of Kentucky because
that's kind of what I was thinking is it's South in
Appalachian. So you're probably right because
it probably, I think, I think, Ithink Kentucky is two different

(36:32):
regions, but I think it's not part of the Midwest.
You're probably right. So yeah, it goes around above
Kentucky, sneaks down to Illinois, and then probably cuts
the bottom part of Missouri off.OK.
And then goes down. And then it's all of Oklahoma's

(36:53):
in the Midwest. Now I would disagree because I
feel like. You didn't throw up in
Wisconsin, You. See that green?
Region, but I am is that that's more southeast, isn't it?
Yeah, that's the mountain. I don't think I've ever been
there. You.
Don't. You're not ready.
So yeah, you're probably right. This mountain, the Midwest cuts
off somewhere. You know, Oklahoma, you're
probably right. Probably like where it starts to
get brown. Yep.

(37:15):
Yeah, like right through Oklahoma City almost maybe, but
then it goes up over the Panhandle.
Actually, I think the top of thePanhandle of Texas is Midwest
start to. Get into like New Mexico energy
stuff. Yeah, this is barren.
So like no one exists in this. But the city, the specifically

(37:36):
Texas specifically like Pampa, Amarillo.
Slammarillo. And.
The music scene. There is literally a town in the
Panhandle called Panhandle, Texas, and that is Midwest as
hell. But then it comes back up and
then I think it comes around Kansas.

(37:56):
It goes around the entirety of Nebraska South.
Dakota for. Sure.
South Dakota and North Dakota are all Midwest and then
everything West of that is the West until you get to California
and then all of California is cut out specifically for the
cholos is that is that and then we have I mean the.
Cholos have shared custody. The cholos and the.

(38:19):
Bags, I was going. To say the artists, but yeah,
yeah, same thing. Same.
Thing and then we have gay West in Washington and Oregon
hippies. It's it's most actually, I think
the hippies have migrated out and it's mostly trans people
now. Yeah.
Oh, yeah. Or troons.

(38:40):
That's what we call them. Trans 'cause they transitioned
into the region. Yeah.
Mm, hmm. Right.
Yep. I didn't realize how far West
Idaho was. Good God and.
They're just trying to stay out of the mess.
Yeah, we're gonna get out of here.
Yeah. Fucking Montana.
God's Country. Yeah, that is like the epitome
of the West. Yeah, fucking.

(39:02):
Gorgeous. My favorite acoustic guitar was
manufactured there. It's fucking beautiful.
Wyoming. I'm going to give them a pass
because they are supporting Montana.
Nothing happens in Wyoming. But if it wasn't there, I'm
scared of what Montana would have become.
Yeah, that's also a giant fucking mountain, so.

(39:22):
Yeah, that's true. Hill People.
No, there's nobody there, thoughI've driven through there.
It's. Too wild for?
Hilton, I've driven through Wyoming.
There's no nobody actually livesthere.
I'm not kidding. Colorado, they don't have police
officers or anything. It's definitely not Midwest.
No, no, no, no, no. Midwest.
I didn't imply that you said. They were OK.
Yeah, Colorado is I'm. Trying to determine that's.

(39:45):
Well, we can move on to the nextregion.
Yeah, we can move on to the nextregion.
So we have Colorado. It's its own region.
And that's just a yeah, Coloradois its own region, and it's
called the Poser region, Yeah. And it's just where all the
Posers migrate. Yeah, they try to steal the
identity, the cool parts of other people's identities, and
absorb them to their own. So underneath Colorado, we have

(40:07):
New Mexico and kind of like cornered to it, we have Arizona.
Arizona, yeah, it's San and that's the Southwest, that's the
Southwest. That is for sure next to
Colorado. To the right of it we have Utah,
and that is also its own region.Well, technically it's part of
the Appalachian region. But it's also Mormons.
Yes. So it's part of the Appalachian

(40:28):
region because it's just retarded mountain people.
But they found God in a different way than everybody
else did, and they got the wrong.
They literally got kicked out ofthe Appalachians and there was a
shoot on site order for all Mormons and so they had to
migrate out and they found the salt Flats and that's how they
got to Utah. So even.
The hill folk were like Nah. Exactly, all two of their teeth

(40:50):
were saying get the fuck out of here or.
We'll kill you. You kiss your cousin too.
Passionately. And the sheriff is allowing this
and actually told me I should kill you.
Me too, 'cause that's how much of A nuisance Mormons were and
still are. And so kind of its own region,
but it's the Appalachians in theWest.
Fuck yeah. Over the Rockies.

(41:10):
Actually, I don't even know where the Rocky Mountains are.
I don't care, but I think it's there.
So yeah, I think we've got everything West of Pennsylvania
kind of covered. So let's move down to the the
South, the South SE no, that's the South.
Well, we have there's different there's different regions that
we're looking at here in the Southeast.

(41:30):
So Kentucky, we have the South, I think that is.
Kentucky's like Kentucky. Tennessee is like the culture
itself. Yeah.
Like they have like really cool.Like we actually produce good
things. Out of that area, yeah.
Am I propping out both of the Gibson Guitar Factory locations?
I'll never tell. That's none of your fucking
business. Yeah.

(41:50):
But also, there's cool music that comes out of there.
West Virginia is also the South,but it's the Appalachian South.
It's mostly Appalachian go folk.Yeah, as as as well as Virginia,
and then you get North and SouthCarolina.
North Carolina is just as far asI'm aware.
No, sorry, South Carolina, as far as I'm aware.

(42:15):
It's just regular. Good folk.
People that don't deserve to be on the East Coast of the United
States where all the bad people are.
But then North Carolina is all of the retarded people that got
kicked out of South Carolina. I believe it's that it might be
the opposite. I have a friend in one of them

(42:35):
but I can't remember which one. We are the authority on this,
Russell. Yeah, and we've decided just now
that North Carolina is where dumb folk live.
Hold on, let me let me double check real quick on which city
is in what are you? Going to undercut me like that.
I don't know. I don't remember.
It's one of the two. We'll go with what you said.
No, we decided. No, it's what you said.
Georgia doesn't exist. Georgia.

(42:57):
Georgia is a highway that was built specifically to get to
Florida. They've.
Run perfectly functioning vehicles.
Yeah, but not the Kuwait they did in or in California.
They did it in a weird way that ruined the utility of utility
vehicles. Georgia was just the passageway
that Andrew Jackson went throughto kill the Spanish in Florida.

(43:18):
Andrew Jackson. That's his name.
That's it's his name actually. And so that it's.
I'm ready to see some injection.So most of Georgia is just a non
existent portal to a different region, which is the region of
Florida. But then we have Atlanta, which
is where all of the black peoplebelong or not belong.

(43:40):
But it was built for black people.
Built for and by uncomfortably accurate.
Like it is perfect accommodationfor black people.
They even made a show about it. This is where Alabama sources
their football stars. Yes, yes.

(44:01):
So this is their breeding. Ground This is their training
camp. Actually, we can skip over
Florida for now. We get to Mississippi, Alabama,
Arkansas and Louisiana. Yeah, Louisiana needs to be its
own region. Yeah.
I'm just saying this area geographically that's.
Where all of the culture like congregated.
It's called on. Oh, I have something for
Louisiana. Just wait.

(44:22):
So Mississippi. I literally have never heard a
single thing happening there. They have a They stole the name
of the river that runs through it.
Yeah, it's I think that Mississippi is just part of
Alabama, and they just had like a weird hat for Hatfields in the
Mccoys feud. Yeah, It's like a cool guitar
pedal they forgot about. It's like, yeah.

(44:42):
And then they get drunk and thenthey forget to, like, set it up.
And then they come back in another year like, oh.
But that is what we refer to as the Deep South.
Yeah, OK. Arkansas is the South.
Arkansas is the South. And so there are parts of all

(45:02):
the states around them that around it that exists in the
South. But Arkansas is the capital of
the South. Can we research real quick which
state got statehood first between Kansas and Arkansas?
OK, when? Statehood.
Did Kansas, damn it Kansas become a state 1861?

(45:30):
And just put R in front of it, 1860. 11836 So Arkansas can came
first. OK, so Kansas just stole.
Yes. Arkansas's name?
Yeah. So we have.
But they got rid of the R Yeah, it's a soft R because.
It's theirs, so we get so. Yeah.

(45:54):
And then we get to Louisiana, and that's where all The Dirty
French people live. Yeah.
And I don't say dirty because they're black.
I say dirty because they're French.
And I mean it wholeheartedly. Yeah.
The French are a gross abomination that weren't
supposed to evolve into. This is American concentrate and

(46:18):
I love it so. Far no.
It's Americana concentrate. Oh yeah, that's exactly what it
is. Yeah.
It's, it's truck stop trinkets. It's that you get when you're
travelling through. Route 66, you gave Bucky's a
capital. No, Bucky's is better than that
and you know it. It's all of the, if you're
travelling through Route 66 and all of the dusty fucking

(46:39):
trinkets that you can pick up onthe way, all the dusty little
souvenirs that no one touched. If we were to distill that down,
that is Louisiana, yeah. It's all and I know, I know that
Louisiana is more than just New Orleans, but New Orleans is so
French that I can't forgive the rest of the state.
They're so French, they don't. Because like, I'm sure their.

(46:59):
Words. Yeah, well, yeah, they do.
They finish it with a, you know,that's how they finish all
their, you know how you do this thing, you know, and they all
speak French, so you have no idea what the fuck they're
saying. They don't finish because
they're white Muslims. I hate them.
I hate the French and they're they are just Quebec, but in the

(47:22):
United States. Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah. And they allow black people to
exist there. I don't think Quebec allows
black people. But the food is significantly
better in our Quebec than theirs. 100% Anyway, So yeah,
Louisiana is just France, gay retard France.

(47:43):
And then we have Florida, and that's where all the old people,
Jews and Cubans live. In methods, yeah, the ball sack
of the States, yeah. And I'm so glad that we're just
hanging it over them. I'm glad that we have it like
we're holding it as far away from us as possible.
To keep the stink away. Like Miami is all the way at the

(48:04):
bottom of the state for a reason.
We'll call this. The We're just holding, holding
Miami at arm's length. Like you can stay here, but like
over there. Like my wife said, I can't kick
you out, but I can't let you in the living room anymore.
Yeah, keep trashing our furniture.
Everything you sit on, I have toburn.

(48:26):
Yeah. And I think lastly, we have to
deal with the New England area. Pennsylvania doesn't really
exist. I know it was important at one
point, but it's not anymore. It's more of a state of mind.
Yeah, New York. Maryland for sure.
Not real. Yeah, someone made that up,

(48:47):
Delaware. Delaware is just a tax haven.
Yeah, that's not. It exists specifically to not
pay taxes and I'm here for it. New Jersey is just part of New
York. Yep.
And they're, they're just mad about it.
Connecticut is just connecting Rhode Island back to the

(49:09):
country. It doesn't serve a purpose.
Rhode Island, small as shit. Also not an island, is it?
Where is Rhode Island? I'm not seeing and.
Also, are there even roads on this island?
Is Rhode Island even an island? It doesn't look like it is.

(49:31):
It's super not. Am I, am I wrong here?
This is the border. Yeah, Providence.
That's that's on land. That's contiguous for sure.
Fucking. Lies my entire life more tax
evasion What the? Hell.

(49:53):
Good, good, good seafood. Massachusetts.
That's where we put all of our retarded white guys.
Yeah, this is our rage concentrate.
Yeah. This is where we have most of
our hate. Yeah.
And I, I'm glad it's there. It needs to be there.
We need it there. Also fucking Massachusetts is.

(50:13):
Vermont and New Hampshire are the same state, but just
reversed and. Massachusetts turned is also
They get the gift of God's country because they produce
good music. Massive, huge tits.
Yep, and they also picked a really cool fucking name.
Yeah, Vermont doesn't exist. New Hampshire.

(50:33):
I don't know where the old Hampshire is, so that doesn't
exist. It's.
In Hampshire. That's good to know.
In Old England. Maine.
Maine what? Exactly the main place that you
get your lobsters from. Yeah, moving.
On the main place where we shootup bowling alleys.
Nice fucking try guys, You're not going to pull this.

(50:54):
Wall over our eyes. It's huge too.
It's got to be gorgeous up there.
Look at all of those. What the?
Fuck is New Brunswick That's nota state.
That's this is Canada. Gross.
Yeah, get it off my screen. And then New York, also Canada.
I don't want to have anything todo with it.

(51:15):
Give us your tax revenue, but other than that, get the fuck
out. Yeah, they literally are
developing new technologies to try to keep people out of their
fucking subway stations. Yeah.
And right next to that new technology that is failing.
Is my feces. Actually yes, but also is old

(51:38):
technology that has been proven to work that has no bypass or no
exploits like the other one. Does.
What is that? It's like a turnstile thing.
It's like those finger in a. Relation.
Yeah, yeah. That people you just swipe.
Them back the homeless person blender.
Yes, exactly. Exactly.
Why don't they use that? Because they're fucking stupid,
because people are getting fucking, I think off the side

(52:01):
for the new stuff. And if they get implemented this
many units implemented in the subway station, they get
kickbacks. They're.
Fucking you know what, that new the guy that's running for mayor
is trying, is going to says he'sgoing to implement government
run grocery stores. Uh Oh yeah, The Cubans that live

(52:21):
in New York City are not going to be happy.
We know exactly how that plays out.
That's that's a bad time. You know what?
There's enough of a. Concentration.
No, I like it. I like it the entire A cold
civil war would be hilarious. The entire rest of the country

(52:42):
fighting communism, just in one small.
The rest of the country wouldn'tget to participate.
Just the people in Pennsylvania and Ohio alone would just chew
through them. Yeah, they wouldn't get a
chance. Well, the Ohio people are busy
eating glue and crayons, so I don't think they're going to be
chewing on much. They're busy.

(53:03):
Eating really cool chili that they made-up.
It is that that Ohio has one good thing.
Ohio has one good thing, and it's Cincinnati chili.
And there's nothing you can do to stop me.
And I will gladly, I will gladlysay go ahead and eat your egg
shells, but I get to have my Cincinnati chili.
But the rest of Ohio needs to beturned into glass.

(53:29):
That state is dead. It was dead when it was created.
I don't care if Chevy was there.It sucks.
Nothing good comes out of Ohio. It's for lovers.
The lovers getting glass too. Gay lovers, if you just like,
don't hurt the Skyline Chili restaurants.

(53:53):
Everything else, Trinity. Jesus Christ, dude, see, and
this is what Tracy's going to beat you out.
She really has good friends in Cleveland.
I've never been to Cleveland. I don't know.
Look up 351 Cleveland plant. I wonder if that's in Ohio?

(54:18):
Cleavage Land. Oops.
What's happening? Oops.
Plant. Is that Ohio?
It is Ohio. OK, We have to keep them.
I don't think it still is though.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. It's definitely gone.

(54:41):
OK, Yeah, no, everything moved from Detroit to Ohio I believe
at one point. Yeah, it's gone.
All I know is my my father in law's dad worked for Chevy or GM
in Ohio so they didn't. Deserve to live No stay fucking

(55:01):
true to. Yourself and he He's referring
to GM, not my wife's grandfather.
He deserved to live, although hedid every time you'd talk to
him, bring up how people in the Philippine, the Philippines have
caning and we should bring that back.
No, I agree with him. It was just very funny and weird

(55:24):
to bring up and. Bring it up at the worst.
Inappropriate. Time just to strangers Fuck.
Yeah, good, good. But yeah, Ohio Glass, I'm.
I'm hesitant to say this, but itneeds to be said.
We're keeping Cleveland, but we're also keeping Windsor,
Canada. Where's that?

(55:44):
It's in Canada. Oh.
It's actually Texas, but that's also like one of the best
fucking places on the planet. Man, Canada, you're letting the
French have all of that? That is crazy.
I would annex the fuck out of that state if I was Ontario.

(56:10):
Quebec would be fucked. Oh man, that waterway is
probably the only thing that's been saving them for.
This newfound Newfoundland and Labrador.
When did that and Labrador get puppies?
I've I'll. Keep them for the.
Puppies. I've heard of Newfoundland, but
what is Labrador? Dude, is that where both of

(56:32):
those dogs are actually made? Oh, probably, yeah.
Fuck yeah I dude, I love cold climate dogs but I do not live
in the climate for those dogs. So Canada has like reservation
style camps for their Indians aswell.
I think they're called Eskimos? I don't know but they have the

(56:55):
funniest areas. So this little actual stain of
diarrhea? That's literally what it looks
like. This is not a negative.
It is. It belongs to the Inuit land.
Land claims agreement. The Saniquiloc.
Saniquiloc. That sounds like a medicine.
Yeah, it's their land and they get, they get this little

(57:17):
squiggle of diary. I feel like Oklahoma's way
better of a deal Canada. Gives them.
It's literally in the ball sack of a fucking waterway.
Do you see that? See that small?
Shaft taking down but like so ifyou go up here this is funny.
So 'cause I'm Hudson. Bay, ladies and gentlemen.
Yeah, check that out. I have looked at oh, dude,
Speaking of the Hudson Bay, so the Hudson Bay company, this is

(57:40):
this is some funny trivia. Hubaco is 1 is Canada's like
oldest operating company and so it's like their East India
trading company, yeah, like it was like huge.
And now all they do is sell Hudson Bay merch to like Arab

(58:01):
guys in the mall. Like it's been reduced to a
merch store for their own company.
I. Think I saw and it's closing,
yeah. And it's closing, yeah.
Yeah, I remember seeing that. That was fucking wild.
Yeah. Dude how many CEOs did they blow
through that sent them to this? That's crazy.

(58:21):
So, so Canada is hilarious. So they have these little places
where they put their Redskins and although what color are they
up there? They don't get much sun, but
they still have melanin squinties.

(58:42):
Yeah, Squinties. Yeah.
So, and it's it's, it's all of the land that is like porous.
And by porous I mean like cratered by meteor showers like
10 million years ago if you were.
To dissect a liver from a livingcreature.
It looks like the skin of a fat guy that works at Blockbuster.

(59:06):
Just acne scars and it's dividedinto like weird areas.
So you can see these three righthere.
And the further north you go, the more areas they have and the
more uninhabitable and completely made of rock these
areas are. Look at this dude.
This is a schmear. Dude, what a gift yeah, that

(59:32):
Canada gave them. Yeah.
Oh, that's Russia's territory right there.
No, this is Greenland. I think that they're gonna take
be taken by Russia before DonaldTrump sweet talks us into it.
Well, yeah, we're not getting it, but yeah.
And they also, they also can't they refuse to come up with good

(59:55):
names for their places. Newfoundland and Labrador are
pretty. That's pretty good, but who the
fuck named Alberta? That's a fat girl's name.
For sure. What the fuck is that?
Is that, say, White Horse? Is that White Horse here under
Yukon? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Is that White Horse? Isn't that cocaine?

(01:00:18):
It disappeared. Oh, there it is.
That's just cocaine. Yeah, White Horse, Yukon and
they called Yukon, it's called the Yukon.
That's what it is preferred to as is.
That an Inuit word or something?I don't know, but we have a
Yukon. It's mostly Mexicans.
What Yukon have you fucking beento?

(01:00:40):
The one that I live next to, it's Mexicans and white guys
that are Mexican. Those are only the areas you
frequent because you're a poor degenerate.
Yeah, it has nothing to do with them.
British Columbia, that is neither British nor Columbian.
Calgary sounds like Calvary, so that's pretty fucking sick.

(01:01:03):
Yeah, Edmonton too British. Way too British.
Yeah, this is where the Chrome Boys live.
They live in Edmonton or around Edmonton.
Guys figure it. Out What the fuck is
Saskatchewan? Get a hold of yourself.
Canada man. Manitoba.
Yeah, that's a fat dude's name for sure.

(01:01:24):
Manitoba. St.
John's. Saint Pierre Mcquillan.
Oh, don't like that? Don't want to go?
There gay and French, but I repeat myself.
Nova Scotia's pretty cool. Very Viking coded.
That is, is that Canada? Yeah.

(01:01:46):
Nah, take it back Nords take it back.
They couldn't survive the fight with you, so handle it.
Well, I mean, there is no Nords anymore.
The Allied, I've seen them. The Allied force, well, they
don't. They don't fight anymore because
the Allied forces beat them downin the 40s.

(01:02:07):
Their ideals have been diminished.
Oh, were they German sympathizers?
I mean like they definitely idolized.
The entire Nazi like ideals weresuck.
In their cock, yeah, I get that.Yeah, I get that.
But I didn't think they. Purchased, you know, they had

(01:02:27):
like guys with Greek or Greek tattoos with like N Norse
mythology tattoos. 99% of the time that's a Nazi thing, not a
Viking heritage thing. Well, I mean, I guess it's both,
but it's because the Nazis Co opted that.
No, no, I know. Like that's a Aryan Nation
thing. Yeah, that's a whole.
Deal, I'm not drinking this by the way.
This is disgusting pussy. It's fucking disgusting.

(01:02:54):
Now brother, can me one of them Bud Zeros?
I want the flavor of beer, not the flavor of fucking sugar
piss. But yeah, it's a.
Do you think that Budweiser Zerowill sponsor you?
Judging by this map, Russia's been reduced.

(01:03:16):
What the fuck am I looking at? There are other like, what do
they call them? Oblasts.
Soviet bloc countries? No, they're called oblasts.
No, they're not. That's a that's a word that you
made-up just now, and I'm not looking it up even though that's
your next fucking thing. Look it up.
Shut the fuck up. I actually have time travel
powers and I've manufactured theInternet to verify all of my

(01:03:38):
facts. Man, I just want to walk across
this right here, the Bering Strait.
Nah, you'll start squinting at people.
Yeah, I will. And they'll squint back.
You start squinting. Isn't it sad that we're all
Asian? We're all African you dumbass.
That's even worse. Figure it out.

(01:03:59):
Actually, do you want to tell them?
Oh, we can. Yeah, we can.
We can tell them because John, Ididn't know how excited John was
about your friendship. But guys, there's something you
need to know about Ben before you start liking him.
Coming out as not as black as I thought.
His sister took the Mormon spit test and.
She sent me the results. And it's concerning it.

(01:04:22):
Doesn't look good. The test results aren't good,
boys. I don't know if I'm going to
make it. Where's my phone?
I'll pull it up. And we, we can confirm you have
the same dad. Dude, I will punch you in the
fucking. Chest.
I'm being serious. Is your mom a whore?

(01:04:47):
No. Is she a?
Whore. Your dad left and she has a new
husband. Those things happen and I'm
asking also. You have half brothers and
sisters on your dad's side everywhere because your dad is a

(01:05:07):
whore. He's a whore and my mom's just a
sweet lady. You thought she.
Is and she does not like me. Accurate.
She questions my decisions afterthat.
She just doesn't like me becauseI'm too high energy and mean to
people. Accurate.

(01:05:28):
She's just a sweet lady. Did you send it to me on
Messenger or on? I don't.
Know I know where it is on my phone because I've been fucking
staring at it I'm. Just crying, I can't say it.
I I just wanted the ability to say it.
I wasn't going to abuse it. Oh.

(01:05:53):
Man, it's just a sad, it's a sadtime to be a Ben.
I don't know what to tell you. Tell me that this is wrong.
Tell me. That I have.
I found it. All right, so here's what we
got. And do you want to tally it up
for them or do you want them to come to the conclusion?

(01:06:16):
And it starts at highest concentration, like the
ingredients list of most foods. Yeah, which is fucking wild.
England and northern northwestern Europe 40% now.
If this explains your ire for me, that explains your hatred.
For me, if your ancestors like if this was 2000 years from now,

(01:06:37):
that could still mean you're black.
It could because England is mostly black guys now.
But this is before we allowed that to happen.
So you know, Nigeria 15% fuck yeah.
That's how that's how much of A drop it.
Really tapers on so fucking fast. 40% English. 15.

(01:07:00):
To 15% in Nigeria and it only goes down from there my.
Teeth aren't even that. Fucked, but the rest of them are
all black eyes except for one ofthem.
Two of them. I looked it up.
No, no, three of them. OK.
Yeah, you're right. OK.
So Nigeria 15%, Benin and Togo, that's black guys, this is
African 12%, Germanic Europe 10%.

(01:07:24):
Which is way too much to be thatlow on the list.
Black energy. I think that's where my hate
comes from. They have the same level of
violence in their heart. Yeah.
Mali black 5%. Senegal doesn't sound black,
sounds Spanish, is black, is black 4% western Bantu peoples.

(01:07:50):
I'm gonna start calling you a Bantu motherfucker.
What is the name of that fuckingcreature?
That Ubuntu no. No, no no, that Ubuntu is like a
fucking offspin of. Yeah, but Mugatu is the guy from
the Ben Stiller movie where they're gay.

(01:08:11):
Thank you, Russell. And they have the gasoline
fight. That is pretty.
It does look fun. It does look fun.
It is fun, it does. Look like a really good time.
Cameroon does not sound black. Sounds Spanish is black.
Definitely is very black. Ireland Hennessy is black

(01:08:34):
sounding or Irish sounding. I don't know where it's made.
Yeah, probably. Probably by black people.
Dude, do you want to know where one of the highest selling
places for Harp beer is? Harp is what makes Guinness.
Where Atlanta? Fucking Africa.
Dude God damn right it is. So western Bantu people's 4%

(01:08:59):
Cameroon, 3% Ireland, 3% Ivory Coast and Ghana.
Also Ivory Coast sounds Irish. Definitely not.
It's black guys. 1% Yoruba land.I don't even know how the fuck
to pronounce that. Yoruba land.
Yoruba land, there you go. 1% Central Nigeria 1% Scotland 1%

(01:09:25):
Oh. I didn't see the Scotland hold
up. Why can't I see the OK?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. So if you add up 40.
So I'm 16% Nigerian, yes, which is pretty cool.

(01:09:45):
You got 12. But I think that's also like
the. Group of wait let me.
Like, OK, when you think about the people who immigrate to
America from another country andhow they turn out financially,
like with success in commerce and capitalism.
I'm just going to it's the Asian.
People and the Nigerian people, they fucking crush.

(01:10:07):
I'm gonna so. That like almost detracts from
my ability to say the. Word.
This is what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna I'm gonna take the
image and I'm gonna send it to Grok and I'm gonna say how black
question mark and let's see whatits response is.
This whole time I grew up with my grandmother saying that we

(01:10:29):
were had a lot of Native American heritage and I like ran
the math based on what she was saying and we were only like
132nd. So it says adding these
percentages together, approximately 41% of Ben's
ancestry could be considered Black African.
However, ancestry percentages are an estimate and the

(01:10:51):
individual identity may vary. So you can still identify as
black and you can thank white liberals for that.
Thank you. Being able to identify yourself
as whatever and I identify myself as being able to fucking
say it you. Think the Irish aspect like
played toward my percentage, no?But I because I don't think Grok

(01:11:14):
took that into consideration, but the Moors were black and
they did fuck up Ireland. They were the guy in the
woodshed, if you will, of the country of Ireland.
So that's that's, that's at least like a little bit more

(01:11:35):
black. Yeah.
That is pretty cool, I'm just glad there wasn't this one thing
in there. Starts with AJ, ends with an EU.
He brewing Mexican. It starts with AJ and ends with
a complaint, and that's all I care about.

(01:12:00):
John, I will put it on record. Say the word with the
appropriate level of caution with the information you now
have at your disposal. I am sorry I didn't knowingly
grant privileges. I didn't know.
I had no authority to. Grant Well, here's the deal.
That wasn't on me. I was led astray and I apologize

(01:12:20):
for participating leading you astray.
Here's the deal. I've been called it twice this
week by the same guy, so I thinkI think I can give it to him.
I hereby bestow the past to John.
Say his Say his full name with respect to Jonik Joseph

(01:12:42):
Nathaniel Joseph Nathaniel K You're hereby dubbed a Knight of
the of. The N word Sayers.
A Knight of the Hood, but not that one.
A hood knight. Other one, yeah.
No, I'm a knight of the hood. But you're one of the hood

(01:13:03):
Knights. Yeah, you're a hood knight.
It's different. It's very different.
We don't get on. We could.
Definitely see where they do confusion, but they probably
also think they have the past. Again, very different tribes.
Yeah, very different tribes. Tread lightly, but speak with
confidence. We love you guys.

(01:13:28):
Sapiro bye. The.