Self-control isn’t just about saying “no” to temptation—it’s a skill you can train, rewire, and improve for life. In this episode of The Choose Hard Podcast, Cody McBroom breaks down the science behind self-control, revealing how your brain, environment, and daily choices shape your ability to stay focused, make better decisions, and follow through on your goals.
Inside the episode, you’ll learn:
- Why self-control is a stronger predictor of success than intelligence- How your physical environment and social surroundings impact your willpower- The truth about ego depletion—and why willpower isn’t as limited as you think- How brain activity and future-thinking predict real-life self-control- Why sleep deprivation destroys decision-making and makes you more impulsive
Cody also shares real-world strategies to help you practice and improve self-control:
- Shift your mindset about willpower being "limited"- Use daily journaling and future visualization for long-term focus- Train discipline with small, manageable decisions- Design your environment to support good habits and eliminate temptations- Prioritize health habits like sleep, diet, and training to reinforce mental control
If you’re ready to stop giving in to distractions and start taking full control of your actions, this episode will give you the science and systems to make it happen.
Follow Choose Hard on instagram @choosehardpodcast and grab Choose Hard Merch at www.choose-hard.com
ASK YOUR QUESTION FOR THE NEXT Q&A EPISODE:
⇨ question.choosehardpodcast.com
LEARN MORE ABOUT OUR 1-ON-1 FITNESS & NUTRITION COACHING:
⇨ www.fatlosstransformation.com
DOWNLOAD MY APP & START A TRAINING PLAN, FOR FREE:
PURCHASE YOUR CHOOSE HARD HAT & JOURNAL:
⇨https://www.tailoredcoachingmethod.shop/collections/all
---
THIS PODCAST’S SPONSOR: https://jockofuel.com/
(Use Discount Code CHOOSEHARD15 for 15% Off Your Order)
---
🎙️CLIENT CASE STUDIES & TRANSFORMATION STORIES:
- SPOTIFY: https://bit.ly/tlrd-transformations-spotify
- APPLE PODCASTS:https://apple.co/3GPlDxG
---
GET MORE FREE CONTENT AT THE LINKS BELOW:
📖 FREE ARTICLES: https://tailoredcoachingmethod.com/blog
💾 FREE GUIDES: https://tailoredcoachingmethod.com/guides
IG -https://www.instagram.com/codymcbroom
YOUTUBE - https://www.youtube.com/codymcbroom1
INQUIRIES – info@tailoredcoachingmethod.com
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
In this episode of the Choose Hard podcast, I'm going to break
down the science of self-control, which is step one,
what we call the self formation process.
This self formation process is the transformation of 1's self
physically, mentally, spiritually, financially,
relationships, everything in life.
And the first step in this journey is self-control, which
(00:20):
leads to self-discipline, creates self belief and earns
self respect. But today we're going to start
with self-control. I'm going to show you that it's
not about being the smartest individual in the room.
It's not about your genetics, it's not about your childhood,
it's not about any of that. It's about what you choose to do
today and every day going forward from now on that
determines your level of self-control and how
(00:40):
self-control actually creates a higher likelihood for success
than any other variable known toman.
Let's get into this episode of the Choose Hard podcast.
The greatest things in life all start with a challenge.
You must accept that everything is hard before it gets easy.
Every, every, every, everything you want in life begins with a
(01:02):
hard path. Welcome to the Choose Hard
podcast. I am your host Cody Mcbroom.
I am a father, husband, coach, entrepreneur, and my life's
mission is to help individuals choose hard every day to create
the best life possible. And that is step one in creating
your best life possible. It's choosing hard.
So let's build your body and develop your mind.
(01:23):
And today we are going to do that through learning all about
self-control. I'm excited for this podcast.
I'm always excited for the podcast.
I love podcasting. It's probably my favorite thing
to do. Interviewing great minds,
learning from people that I get to podcast with and sharing the,
you know, really just like everything we've learned from
(01:45):
coaching and what we've done with clients through the this
mic right here. So self-control to me, and the
reason I'm excited about this topic is because it's kind of
the catalyst for everything else.
It really is. It's, it's so much more
important than anything else in my opinion.
I think that self-discipline is extremely important.
(02:05):
I think self-discipline is extremely important and it's
also extremely hyped up. And so I don't want to take away
from the importance of self-discipline.
However, self-control is what helps you create and develop
self-discipline. There's other factors that go
into developing self-discipline,of course, but self-discipline
is what everybody talks about. However, there's a lot of people
(02:26):
that are sitting there wonderinglike, OK, I get it.
I, I need self-discipline in order to be successful, in order
to achieve my goals, so on and so forth.
And that's great, but how do I create it, right?
And, and a big part of that is the what we call the locus of
control, which is like your internal drive and motivation.
What stems in your nervous system, in your brain, in your
heart and soul of what I want toachieve in life.
(02:48):
Like that is a big thing becausethat gives you a reason to be
more disciplined, right? That allows you to lean on
something outside of external motivation to keep pushing you
forward. However, self-control is the
action that actually develops a lot of the self-discipline as
well as self belief even becausethe reality is, is self-control
(03:12):
is your ability to resist temptation.
It's your ability to not just say no to having some drinks,
having pizza, having cake, having cookies, whatever it is
that's trying to, let's say, throw you off your diet or
whatever temptation is trying tosteer your eyes away from your
marriage or whatever temptation is trying to make you lazy when
you know you have work to do. It's everything that you know
(03:33):
you're trying to avoid because it is bringing you down a path
that is, you know, different or veering the other way compared
to your actual goal or outcome that you're after. self-control
is what allows you to eliminate or avoid that negative path,
right? But it's also what allows you to
portion size. It's what allows you to have a
little bit. It's what allows you to create
(03:55):
enjoyment. And like, if we think of
flexible dieting, like flexible dieting's great, But if you have
no self-control, it's never gonna work.
Because how are you supposed to be flexible enough to have a a
Oreo without eating all the Oreos?
How are you supposed to have enough self-control to go out
for ice cream and get just one topping instead of five?
Or get one scoop instead of three or get it in a cup and eat
(04:18):
it with a spoon instead of a cone, like a sugar cone, right?
Like there's like there's so many examples.
What allows you to have one beerbecause you just want to go have
a beer or have a drink or a glass of wine with your friends
to connect it, it, it creates this relaxing sensation.
It allows you to relax and chilland, and just connect.
And that's amazing. Loosen up.
(04:38):
But what allows you to just havethat one and get that benefit
and, and connect on a deeper level compared to going all out
and having 4 drinks or shot before and, and going down the
deep end of drinking, right? So the point is, is self-control
is what allows us to do so much that.
And I think it's so important for us to develop this skill
because it carries over into everyday life in so many ways,
(04:59):
right? And so self-control is the 1st
and most important trait and characteristic required for
achieving success and any transformation you desire in
your life. self-control is the first step.
It's why it's the first step in our self formation process.
This is what we realized we weretaking clients through.
It starts with self-control thathelps you develop
(05:20):
self-discipline, which both leadto an increased sense of self
belief. And when you have this higher
level of self belief, you begin to shift and start moving
towards self respect. And that is the earned respect
you have for yourself, which is so important because that's what
allows you to keep the results. You is respecting yourself
enough to do what's required to maintain it.
(05:42):
It's respecting yourself enough to fuel your body properly.
Respecting yourself enough to give yourself sleep, to give
yourself a break, to also hold yourself to a higher standard so
that you do work hard when you need to work hard and you push
it when you need to push it, butyou also pull back when you need
to pull back, right? And I've talked about the cell
formation process a lot on here because I truly think it's the
most applicable and life changing process anyone can
(06:06):
really learn or be coached through, right?
And it's why like in, in our coaching, we're so passionate
about everything beyond just fitness and nutrition.
Like we help people lose fat. Like our main thing is we help
people lose fat, optimize their hormones and health so that they
can feel better and look better.But we know for a fact that in
that process, like really what, what it is, is like, that's what
(06:27):
we sell, That's what we, we giveclients because that's what they
want. And, and they do need it too.
But also like we also give them what they need.
They don't that they don't realize they need, which is the
mindset, is the discipline, is the control, is the self belief
in the confidence is the self respect.
It's a community of the accountability, right?
And so to develop that, it goes through this process.
So I talked about a lot and today we're going to start with
(06:48):
the first step, like I said, andI want to like point out three
quick bullet points as an intro before we get into the research
because I am going to break down.
I think I have 4 research studies on different topics of
of things that they have investigated through scientific
research. So this is going to be a
research review. This is going to be a research
(07:08):
driven podcast. So it is literally the science
of self-control, not just like what I think about self-control.
This is literally what does science show regarding
self-control and how can we optimize self-control in our
life? How can we develop more
self-control in our life and, and apply it to other areas of
our life? OK, so the first point I want to
point out is this is a very, very interesting fact.
These are three facts I'm going to give you to start out.
(07:30):
The first one is that intelligence plays a massive
role in academic success. We know that, but research has
actually consistently shown thatself-control is a more
significant predictor of academic achievement and overall
success in life. So individuals who go to college
have a master's and like, like look for one, getting a master's
(07:52):
or a PhD, that in itself requires a lot of self-control,
self-discipline, self belief, grit.
Like don't get me wrong, I'm notbelittling going to college or
getting a degree or anything. I have done a lot of schooling
and credentials and certifications and all kinds of
stuff. I believe in education.
I believe in specific targeted education that is actually
applicable to your goals. I think the topic of public and
(08:13):
random general education as a whole makes bag right now, but
point being is that academic success does not translate to
overall life success nearly as much as self-control.
OK so we need to understand. And the crazy part is that
self-control was a bigger predictor of academic
(08:35):
achievement than actual academicsuccess was.
Meaning when kids are going through high school, for
example, when kids are in their first couple years of college
and they are going through school and they get great
grades, that is less. If they're really smart, right?
They're intelligent, that is less of a determination factor
(08:57):
with regards to overall academicachievement and life success.
Meaning them getting a degree period after like actually
finishing college and maybe continuing and doing extra
degrees, getting a master some. There's a bigger correlation to
self-control than there is to actual intelligence, IQ,
academic success. Like it's crazy.
(09:17):
Point 1.2 Long Term Long term studies tracking individuals
from childhood to adulthood havedemonstrated that early
self-control has a profound and lasting impact on various
aspects of life, including health, wealth, and social
success. They have done countless
research studies showing And these are long term studies
meaning they start the study when somebody is a child and
they follow up and do a another study with that individual as a
(09:41):
follow up study when they are anadult.
Adults are more likely to be successful in life, health,
wealth and social environment, social relationship, social
success if they have a higher degree of self-control Many of
these studies looked at delayed gratification as well, which.
(10:03):
Delayed gratification and self-control are two very, very
commonly correlated factors because in order for me to show
delayed gratification in and actually follow through with
delayed gratification, I actually have to have a lot of
self-control. It requires self-control in
order to build and do and followthrough with delayed
gratification. Delayed gratification is me
(10:23):
saying like, OK, I'm going to drink this whole can of Jocko go
right now because I just want tolike I want to have it.
But the problem is, is that I only have one of these left and
I need energy all day. And it's the morning here at my
office. So I'm going to drink just a
little bit and then I'm going toset a timer.
I'm going to wait. And then I'm have a little bit
more, right? But it tastes really good when I
start drinking it. And it really is this icy
(10:43):
lemonade is phenomenal. Delayed gratification is like,
I'm going to let this last throughout the day, right?
Delayed gratification is when somebody puts $1000 on the
counter and says, hey, you can take this right now or don't
touch it for two years and I'll come back and give you 10,000,
(11:04):
right? And the person that can say, OK,
I'll wait 10 years or two years for 10,000, but I'm also going
to leave that thousand there. And this is the greatest part.
This is where self-control 'cause they do this with kids,
right? They have the studies where they
put the cookie. They put a cookie on the table
and go, hey, I'm going to leave this here.
They've done the marshmallow onetoo.
I'm going to leave this cookie right in front of you and I'm
(11:24):
going to come back in a little bit and I'm going to give you 2
cookies if you just don't touch it, OK.
And so kids ability to resist eating the cookie, especially
because they don't know when theperson's coming back.
I can't remember if they actually tell the kids how long
they're going to until they return with the second cookie or
if it's just an unknown time frame.
But the reality is if you have children, you know that they
have 0 idea. We're out in the cold SAC plane
(11:44):
all the time. And Blake will be like, can I
just have one more minute? And we're like, yeah, one
minute. And we put a timer on and then
we're immediately like all right, time to go in.
And she's like, wait, what? Like you have 0 idea how short
one minute is for playtime right?
And so they have to sit there and look at this cookie until
the person gets back. The the kids that can practice
self-control and not touch the cookie are way more likely to be
(12:06):
successful in life. Now I'm not sitting here on a
high horse claiming that my daughter is going to be able to
resist Cookie because it ain't easy and I think we've done it
before on camera and I don't know if she actually did it.
But point being is that you can practice skills with your kids
and it will determine their success and their achievement
and their ability to have a higher likelihood for health,
wealth and social success in life if they develop
(12:29):
self-control at a young age. And the last fact is the
benefits of self-control practice can extend beyond the
specific tasks practiced and improved overall self-control
across different domains. So they actually have research
showing that self-control is transferable.
And I'm going to show you how all these things breakdown.
I'm going to show you some of these research studies.
But the point I want to make is,is that even if you're listening
(12:50):
to podcast and you're like, well, I don't really have a
weight loss goal. I don't care about losing weight
or I'm in maintenance, whatever,that's OK.
These skills transfer And it's also a really good hopeful.
It, it should provide a lot of empowerment for people, right?
It, it and it can provide this empowerment for people because
if you are struggling to lose weight because you feel like you
don't have self-control, you feel like that is like your weak
(13:14):
point right now. What you can do is actually look
at different domains of your life and go, OK, where am I
successful? We're all successful in certain
areas. We've all accomplished
achievements in certain areas. Maybe it was academics, maybe it
was finances, maybe it was relationships, maybe it was
marriage, maybe it was parenting.
Maybe it was organizing group events for your church or for
the school or PTA or something. Well, you can dig into these
(13:36):
different areas and I promise you'll be able to find different
areas where you displayed self-control as well as
self-discipline. And then you can see that and
go, OK, so I do have self-control.
I just haven't figured out how to transfer it over here.
And that's kind of what I'm going to show you how to do
today by these little small habits and steps so that you can
take the self-control that I know is inside of you and that
you will soon learn is inside ofyou and you can use it and
(13:58):
display in these other areas of life.
OK, so key points today that youare going to learn and you need
to know #1 self-control is, is not just mental, it's physical
and environmental as well. So it's not just in your mind.
self-control goes beyond not, and I'm not just talking about
practicing. Yes, practicing self-control
requires mental, environmental, spiritual, physical, all kinds
(14:21):
of stuff. But self-control is not just a
mental thing. You can be weaken certain areas
of your mindset and still display self-control.
It's not just a matter of you got to be this insane
self-discipline motivated, strong willed minded person in
order to display self-control. It's not just mental, it's
physical and it's environmental.In fact, the physical and
(14:41):
environmental aspects actually help you build and develop the
mental self-control far more than anything else #2 you don't
run out of willpower unless you believe you do.
So it is not a gas tank, right? This is a very common belief and
there's been some studies in thepast that have kind of alluded
to it may be being one of these things, but it's not that simple
because as soon as we factor in this placebo effect, essentially
(15:03):
where we can convince people that it's not, it goes away.
So if you decide that you only have so much willpower and
self-control, then that will be true.
But if you decide to lean on what research actually shows,
and it's that self-control is not a gas tank that you just run
out of, it's a trait that you possess as a human, then you
will have an unlimited supply ofself-control and willpower and
(15:24):
you will be able to continue moving forward towards your
goals. And then #3 the better you are
at valuing the long term reward,the better you'll be at
controlling yourself in the short term.
And this just means having a clear vision of where you want
to go. One of the best ways to display
self-control in your life, especially with I would say
parenting especially, but parenting, relationships,
(15:46):
employment. So your employer, your employee,
your clients, coaching, everything like that, right?
This, this conversation, this communication realm, the best
way to improve your ability to display self-control in those
scenarios and what I mean by self-control is not losing your
shit on people when they when things don't go your way
essentially is to understand your long term goal.
(16:10):
If you get in an argument where you are having a disagreement
with your spouse, stop yourself before you respond.
Do not react, just respond. Now this doesn't mean I'm
perfect, nobody's perfect. But when we think about
self-control and relationships, this is one of the most powerful
things about self-control insideof relationships.
(16:31):
And it's that if I can stop myself before I react, give
myself just enough time to reconsider what I'm about to say
through the lens of what I want most and what I want long term
with this individual, I will be able to respond in alignment to
that overall goal and mission that I am after with my spouse.
(16:51):
So instead of reacting to an argument or letting it linger
because my ego won't allow me toapologize, I can put the frame
in the lens in front of me that says, you know what?
What I want most, not what I want now.
This is delayed gratification. What I want most is a happy
marriage, a happy family, to be role models for my daughter.
I want to be in love. I want to be attracted, I want
(17:12):
to be attractive, I want to be connected.
OK, is me reacting and getting mad going to accomplish that?
No OK, maybe I'm still not in the wrong and my ego doesn't
want me to apologize, but would I be more likely to end up at my
ultimate goal and outcome of life with this individual if I
(17:33):
stop? I don't care about winning this
argument and I apologize for my part in this argument.
The answer is yes, I will be more likely.
In fact, you'll probably be morelikely to get an apology back if
you do that too. And that's not what it's about.
It's about leading to the goal. But you can do this in any
scenario. I'm about to have my second
serving of this treat, but I'm going to give myself just enough
(17:54):
time, 5/10/15 seconds, maybe literally less than a minute, to
just think, what is my ultimate goal?
Does this align with my ultimategoal?
How long will this this taste, this this feeling this
temptation? How long will this reward
sensation actually last? Very shortly, what will I
remember about today and about the situation?
I will remember not following through with what I said, which
(18:15):
was I'm going to manage my food better.
I'm going to be mindful. I'm not going to overeat.
Am I going to remember how greatthat treat was and how it
tasted? Or am I going to remember the
fact that I said I wasn't going to do this and I did it anyway?
I'm going to remember that part,the latter, and it's going to
feel bad. But this lens can only be there.
This frame of mind can only happen in these situations that
(18:37):
you have to display self-controlin.
If you can actually understand what you're after long term.
So you have to create that long term vision and clarity around
what you want your life to be, what the ultimate goal of
mission is. OK, so that is the first a
little bit and then hopefully bynow you just understand how
important self-control is. OK, That's I really wanted to
(18:58):
provide some context in the beginning of this podcast just
so you can fully understand the the crucial nature of
self-control before we get into the science.
OK, So the research segment is next.
This is where I'm going to dive into some of the research.
OK? And I'm going to kind of go
through these quickly and just share my thoughts on them.
But I have a handful of studies here.
(19:19):
The first study is called self-control is influenced by
your environment, not just your brain.
So I'm sorry, the study, that's what it's about.
The study is called Breaking Beyond.
For anybody who wants to look this up, if I got any fellow
geeks with me, breaking beyond the borders of the brain,
self-control as a situated phenomenon.
So really what this study is showing is that self-control
(19:40):
isn't influenced by your environment, not just your
brain. So you can have the hardwire up
here. You can be a wired for
self-control, but your environment is still going in
negatively impact. So the the person who you think
has the most self-control and self-discipline can get thrown
into an environment they're not comfortable in, an environment
that is not conducive to their goals and that challenges their
(20:01):
self-control. An environment that's out of
their control, an environment that they are again
uncomfortable in and just not used to, right.
It's unknown to them that is going to influence our
self-control dramatically and itkind of brings them back to
square 1. So if you have an individual who
has more self-control than you. But you have an environment that
you are more comfortable in. Now we're on equal playing field
(20:24):
essentially, right? And so knowing this is just
power. Cause, cause knowledge is power
in the sense that if I know this, it means that I should
probably control my environment so that I can have more
self-control, right? So the goal of this study that
the researchers had was to provethat self-control isn't just
about willpower. It's also shaped by physical and
social surroundings. How they did this is they
(20:44):
reviewed studies showing how things like muscle tension, calm
environment, and trust in othersimpact our ability to control
our impulses. And here's what the findings
were #1 clenching your muscles can increase willpower in the
moment, which is kind of funny, but it's cool because it means
that physically, like there's this, this really powerful
(21:06):
muscle to mind and brain to bodyconnection, right?
And so This is why I think it's so important to understand that
it's just so much more than yourphysical nature.
It's so much more than your psychological nature.
It's, it's, it's everything, right?
But in the moment. And, and This is why it's funny
because imagine, I want you to imagine yourself or maybe
imagine me, if that, that makes it more funny if you're
especially if you're watching this.
(21:27):
And there is a treat in front ofme that I want and I'm like, I
know I shouldn't have that. And so I just start squeezing my
muscles and I'm flexing as hard as I can.
That is going to help you. I don't know if I would
recommend it. I mean, that might like I'm
imagining myself like with my daughter at like a kids event,
like kids birthday and there's cake and I'm like just just
flexing as hard as I can lookingat the cake.
(21:49):
Probably going to embarrass my daughter and look like a
psychopath. So I'm not going to do that.
But clenching your muscles will can increase willpower in the
moment. So maybe if you're alone.
But the point is, is like there is this nature of of like, I
mean, if you really think of of willpower and self-control, it
is a sense of resisting, right? I'm resisting this temptation.
So the nice part about it is that there's this this physical
(22:11):
nature of resistance that we seein the gym, right?
When I am doing a dumbbell press, dumbbell row, dumbbell,
even a dumbbell lunge with my legs, I'm going to squeeze the
dumbbell as hard as I can because I want to create as much
tension as I can. When I create total body
tension, I have more stiffness in my core.
I have more rigid like muscles. I have a better posture because
I align my joints. And so Long story short, you are
(22:32):
going to be more likely to perform the exercise better and
safer and prevent injury, right?Which is really cool.
But the cool part about this is that translates into the mental
aspect of control as well. It's not just physical control,
but implementing the physical can help the mental control.
Being in peaceful, peaceful environments helps you resist
urges. That would make a lot of sense
(22:52):
as well. Basically, if this environment
is less chaotic, it creates lessanxiety, less stress.
I'm probably going to be more likely to stay aligned with my
goals and display willpower and self-control.
And then being around supportivepeople makes it easier to stay
disciplined. And so the big take away here is
pretty simple. You can boost yourself control
by changing your environment. And you can do this by like just
(23:14):
cleaning up and tidying the workspace.
You can surround yourself with people who are going to push you
and also support you growing in the area you want to grow in.
And you can create a calm setting when you need to focus.
You can also implement the aspect of creating tension in
your muscles and just knowing that there's a physical nature
to it, even if that doesn't meanI'm going to squeeze my muscles
hovering over the cookie jar, but maybe it means I'm going to
(23:35):
go on a walk and be physical fora moment because physicality on
a regular basis might lead to better self-control.
And this would be a really good reason to implement some kind of
morning activity or exercise just from the simple sense that
I'm going to, I'm going to fire my muscles, I'm going to tense
my muscles, I'm going to be physical this morning because
that's going to lead to a more self controlled version of
(23:56):
myself. And the thing I want to add here
too is just understanding that like what we can do is be
physical. We can make sure that our
environment is calm and is nurturing to us.
And we can also make sure the people around us know who we
are, what we're about and what we're after.
Be yourself, be authentic, be transparent.
Don't surround yourself with people that don't allow you to
do that. And if you feel like you can't
do that, honestly the best thingto do is say screw it.
(24:18):
Be yourself. And if anybody in your life
cannot accept you for who you are, they don't deserve to be in
your life. As blunt as that may seem, That
is the honest truth. I have done this in my life more
than once and for a prolonged period of time.
Not being my full transparent self out of fear that others
wouldn't like me, out of fear that others would feel
(24:40):
overwhelmed or or. I don't think intimidated is the
right word but I come off intense at times.
But I'm very very passionate, very intense person in a
positive way. I also am very, very honest and
blunt, so sometimes I can say things that are on my mind and
people don't like it and it's not to offend, it's just that I
just say what's on my mind and Iheld that back and it actually
(25:00):
depressed me. It literally can make you feel
so depressed because you are hiding who you are.
And when you hide who you are, you feel as though you are not
worthy. And that's a really, really
shitty feeling. So what I want you to take away
from this is that if you have people around you and they don't
know that you're after weight loss, they don't know that
you're trying to start your own business.
They don't know that you are trying to approach these new
goals that you have. Tell them, be honest, be real,
(25:23):
be yourself, and don't be apologetic about it.
Be unapologetically your authentic self and make sure
that you have people in your circle and around you who
support that. Because if they don't, you're
not going to feel worthy. You're not going to feel good.
You're not going to be able to display self-control.
You're going to cave in the moments where you have to
display self-control, but you'rearound people who you don't want
(25:45):
to display that self-control with because you're
uncomfortable. Which is crazy because the only
thing that's stopping you from doing so is because they don't
know what you're chasing and if you told them, they would
probably support it 99% of the time.
And if they don't, they don't deserve to be your friend.
I need to interrupt the podcast for just a moment.
I promise this will be quick. But if you've listened to the
podcast for even just a few episodes, then you know that I
(26:05):
am huge on having a journal. Practice in your daily routine.
There are so many studies that show it increases your
positivity, it increases self worth and self belief.
It's going to help you execute on bigger tasks and develop new
habits. And it's also shown by research
to decrease stress, even the cortisol hormone itself, which
(26:26):
is wild, but it's also going to help you manage anxiety,
depression, overwhelm, countlessother things.
And yes, I'm literally just talking about taking a pen or a
pencil and writing on some paperfor just a little bit.
But if we want to take it to another level, we have to write
specific things. And that's where most people
struggle is what to write in your journal.
So I created our tailored life journal.
You can find this at tailored coaching method dot shop.
(26:46):
All the prompts are backed by science, research and a decade
plus of myself buying every great journal under the sun to
test out the prompts and figure out what works best to create a
positive, purposeful and a productive environment for my
day. So once again, head over to
Tailored coaching method dot shop.
Grab yourself a journal. They are cheap, they are
(27:06):
effective, and they look really cool too.
Leather bound and everything. So go check them out.
Grab a journal. It's going to make your life so
much better, I promise. Now let's get back to the
podcast #2 study two. Ego depletion is what this one
is about. So really just trying to figure
out, does your willpower run outlike a gas tank?
And the study was called ego depletion in the strength model
(27:29):
of self-control, a meta analysis.
So they looked at a lot of different studies, 198 to be
exact. The goal was to test the theory
that using self-control drained your ability to use it again.
Soon after they reviewed 198 tests from 83 studies.
So I apologize. Not 198 studies. 83 studies that
displayed 198 different tests where people did one willpower
(27:52):
task, then another. So they had to display
self-control. Then they had to display
self-control again in the same experiment, and the findings
were that people did worse on the second task, but not always.
And then the second finding was that fatigue, motivation and
beliefs about willpower affectedthe results.
So the take away is pretty simple. self-control can feel
depleted, but it's not a permanent, it's not permanently
(28:14):
limited. Your beliefs, motivation,
environment matter more than anything else.
And So what that means is that if you're in a stressful
situation and you're displaying self-control and then you have
to display it again in that samestressful situation, it might
feel harder each time. You have to display the
self-control, but it's not a tank.
Meaning, let's say the easiest way to think of this is you're
(28:37):
in traffic and traffic is terrible and you can't see ahead
of you. You have no idea how much
traffic there is and maybe something is happening that you
have to display self-control. Maybe there's people honking
behind you and there's nowhere you can go, obviously.
So you're pissed because you're like, why are people honking?
Obviously I can't move forward or I would move.
I don't want to be stuck in traffic.
And then the person that you're is in your car with you ends up
(29:00):
saying, you know what, we're going to be here for a while.
I'm going to bust out some snacks.
So they pull out their cooler and they got some like really
good baked goods. You can smell it and you want
it. So that be your own diet.
And you're sitting there and you're like, Oh my God.
And then the people are honking again.
So there's, there's these moments of like, I'm not going
to yell at them or flip them off.
I got to avoid this, these bakedgoods.
Oh my God, these people are honking again.
I'm I'm still not going to flip them off.
(29:21):
I'm still not going to yell at them.
Oh my gosh, he just pulled out my like, my favorite type of
milkshake. Now what is going on?
And then they're honking again, like this is after, after,
after, right. But then out of nowhere, you see
the light shining in front of you and the cars start to
dissipate away and you're able to just drive at full speed.
(29:44):
Within a few seconds, it clears up.
It's almost like there was one person stopped in the middle of
the road, stopping everybody on all lanes for no reason.
There's no accident. There's no clean up, there's no
stop. Like now, your environment just
changed dramatically. The smell, maybe somebody cuts
you off. You're like that guy's in a
hurry, you get nowhere fast and you're just laughing off like
(30:04):
it's not a big deal. Why?
Because your environment changed.
So my point is that what these studies show is yes, it can be
more difficult as you have to display self-control.
If it's on a repetitive manner, you have to display it again and
again and again and again. But that can change if your
environment changes. So we'll talk about the
application briefly at the end. But like a really quick, easy
tip, if you have baked goods, junk beer, whatever it is in
(30:28):
your fridge, in your pantry at home waiting for you, you should
probably get rid of it if you have.
If you can't control yourself around those things yet, don't
have them waiting for you. Because who knows what's going
to happen at work today and who knows what's going to happen on
the way home. Because if you go from a shitty
day at work and a terrible drivehome, and then you walk into a
house full of junk food and there's no prepped meal for you
(30:49):
to lean on to, you have to just display self-control.
You're trying to lose fat but all you have in front of you and
you're starving and you're angryand you're pissed off of people
from work and the drive took longer than expected.
You don't have a meal prep for you and the only things in your
pantry, in your fridge that you can eat quickly are pure shit.
Force yourself to cook. You'll survive.
You're not dying, you're just hungry, right?
(31:09):
But this is a perfect example ifyou come home in the environment
and your house is better, right?This is like a, a really easy
example. Like me and Shannon try to play
like Forrest Frank or like worship music or something
quietly in the background. Sometimes when we're cooking,
we're chilling. It's just like a nice, nice
noise in the background. It's just white noise, but it's,
but it's positive, uplifting worship music in the background.
(31:30):
It is so positive for myself, mydaughter and my wife to be
around subconsciously that it can help shift the environment
and improve our actions and our,our, our responses and
everything. So control your environment
anytime you can because sometimes you can't control your
environment. And yes, when you can't control
your environment, sometimes it feels like self self-control is
depleting. But if somebody is able to
(31:51):
change your mindset, your beliefs or your environment, you
will immediately have more self-control.
So it's not a depleting, it's not a gas tank that runs on
empty. It's a trait that can be hard.
And this is where self-discipline comes in.
The more you have to repetitively act on self-control
or should display willpower, themore you need self-discipline,
(32:14):
right? But if you can control your
environment, you don't need to as much.
It's easier. The third study is about brain
activity, which can predict reallife self-control.
So the study is called Predicting Real Life
self-control from Brain Activityand Coding the Value of Future
outcomes. This one's a little bit
confusing to be honest with you.I had to read through this a few
(32:36):
times, but it's a good one. So the goal was to see how your
brain responds to long term rewards and how they can predict
how much self-control you have in everyday life.
So basically they're trying to determine if you can envision
long term success, the reward orthe outcome.
And the reward is not just like,okay, I'm going to earn money
after this. The reward is, you know, we just
(32:58):
did like it's rapid. By the time this airs, it'll be
over. We did the summer shred
challenge, which shout out to everybody who did that.
I mean, we had, we kept it really low key because this is
our first time doing a transformation challenge or a
group. We had about 50 people in there.
And I mean, somebody lost. I think he might, this is the
last week I think he might hit £50.50 pounds, 50 in eight
weeks. It was wild.
(33:19):
I mean, multiple people. Jessica dropped over.
I talked to her a couple weeks ago and she dropped 15 already.
I know Brianna dropped eleven last time I talked to her, so I
know it's more than that. Oh gosh, who else?
I just had another conversation.Kelly dropped 9.
I mean, there's a lot of people that are crushing it.
Brian finished his weight loss journey.
(33:39):
He lost like 30 lbs and then he jumped in the challenge and lost
a bit more to complete the journey.
But Ben lost a good amount of weight.
And I was looking to build like,I mean, it's crazy how many
people did so well. It's, it's amazing.
So anyway, the winner gets $1500cash, right?
And so this is to say like, OK, I can see that reward at the
end. So that money is a factor.
I can see the reward of if I do this transformation, not only is
(34:00):
my life going to be better, I'm going to accomplish my goals,
but damn, I'm going to win $1500cash.
What am I going to do with that 1500?
That's going to give me a rewardthat I can see a long term
outcome that I can see that I really want.
That is going to motivate me more.
And you know, they're looking atin the study, will that allow me
to have more self-control? Because I know that's coming.
Same thing with like. But a reward doesn't have to be
money. A reward can be the feeling.
(34:21):
And This is why you have to dig deep into your goals, right?
So if I know that I'm going to lose 3040 lbs in this journey,
what will life be like in 3040 lbs?
I'm going to think of like next time I fly on a plane when I'm
30 to 40 lbs lighter. Next time I drive to an hour
long commute. Next time I have to run around
with my daughter or walk my dog or go on a hike with friends, or
next time I visit my family who live out of state and I haven't
(34:43):
seen him in a while. Like, what is that going to be
like? Every situation that you think
of is going to create this dopamine response, this reward
sensation of, wow, life is goingto be so much better when I'm
leaner. Life is going to be so much
better when I get in shape and Ifeel healthy and I have more
energy and I feel better, right?So that is a reward.
It's not money, but that is a tangible thing that like I can't
wait to have that outcome in my life.
(35:04):
And if I can visualize that longterm, I'm going to be
potentially, that's what the study's looking at more likely.
And the answer is you will to achieve it and to display
self-control to get there. So why long term visualization
when we're thinking about goals is so important?
So what they did is they took people and they had them do a
decision making task in what's called an fMRI machine, then
(35:28):
tracked their daily habits via phone surveys.
And the findings were that thosewith stronger brain signals when
thinking about future rewards like long term goals, who showed
more discipline in real life. And so the way that the brain
signals in this study will be more will be stronger, they'll
get a better reading of these these strong brain signals, just
so you know, is if they get morespecific with the long term
(35:51):
goals. So it's that, you know, when it
says those with stronger brain signals when thinking about
future rewards like long term goals showed more discipline in
real life. It's meaning that those who were
more clearly able to visualize the future reward and
achievement and success that they will have had larger brain
(36:12):
signals and waves in this machine.
And those individuals ended up in the study being more likely
to display discipline in real life.
And so the take away is that your ability to imagine and
value the future helps you stay on track and practicing
visualization long term success,practicing visualizing long term
(36:32):
success to strengthen the skill is extremely important.
So main take away is really simple, the more clear you can
get on your future, the better. And this is goes back to even
what I said. Put that frame or that lens in
front of you when you're in an argument or were you trying to
make a good decision, right? Like put that frame in front of
you can stop and go, What do I want most in life and what do I
want most with this individual? What do I want most out of my
business? What do I want most out of my
(36:53):
fat loss journey? How do I act in accordance with
that? If you have a more clear vision
of what you want in your relationship, what you want with
your business, what you want with your life, what you want
with your fat loss goals, the more likely it is that you will
display self-control and discipline along the way to get
to that goal. OK.
And the 4th and final study thatI figured that would be
(37:16):
important is about sleep. And the study is called sleep
deprivation promotes habitual control over a goal or goal
directed behavior. So they're looking at sleep
deprivation and how it can promote habitual self-control
essentially. So the goal was to investigate
whether lack of sleep causes individuals to rely more on
(37:37):
impulse driven habits rather than conscious goal oriented
decisions. So the methods were participants
were were basically subjected tosleep deprivation.
They forced them to be deprived of sleep.
Then they completed tasks evaluating your ability to
choose between habitual versus goal directed action.
(37:57):
So pretty simple, like let's make these people lack a ton of
sleep. They're sleep deprived.
And now we go, OK, what is your goal weight loss?
OK, what have you been doing up to this point that has got you
to a place where you want to lose weight?
I've been eating like crap. This is just a simplified
version. OK, Choice one, eat the healthy
food. Choice 2 Eat the food that you
(38:20):
enjoy. The healthy food is something
that you don't know if it tastesgood 'cause it's not your
normal. The unhealthy food is something
you eat all the time. It's fast food and This is why
you're overweight. Your goal is to lose weight.
Your comfort is fast food. OK, goal oriented is healthy
food towards your goal of weightloss and fast food is the
habitual impulse driven habit that you've been doing that got
(38:42):
you to the point that you're at now.
And what they did with these subjects is they basically sleep
deprived them and then said, OK,now choose right.
And so the findings were that the sleep deprived participants
were significantly more likely to revert to habitual behaviors
and less likely to use deliberate goal driven control.
So the conclusion is pretty simple.
Without adequate sleep self-control, weekends and
(39:03):
decision making shifts towards autonomic habitual responses,
making it harder to resist temptations or make thoughtful
choices. So plain and simple, the
likelihood that you're going to display self-control, have good
discipline and make the right decisions that are oriented
towards your goals in life, no matter what that is, we're
talking relationships, success, business, fitness, anything is
(39:27):
very unlikely. If you are sleep deprived,
you're probably not going to choose the right things.
Plain simple. So we got to prioritize sleep.
And I would, I would even say that that means stress
management in general and healthin general, but sleep
deprivation is going to be a key, OK.
And so based on the research above, I have some really just
like science backed methods and practice practical strategies
for you to implement. OK.
(39:47):
And and that's how we'll kind ofconclude and wrap up this
podcast on the science of self-control.
I already kind of touched on a lot of these, but I want to just
summarize the the main takeawaysthat I think if you want to
avoid thinking too much about the science behind self-control
and what your brains doing and how they compared the groups and
stuff. Hopefully by this time.
On the podcast, I've just given you enough proof and evidence
(40:08):
that this is really important. There's a lot of research on it
and there is absolutely a way for you to improve your level of
self-control. And then you can translate that
and transfer that to any area oflife.
And so these five things are really like what you have to do.
And the first one is to shift your mindset away from the
willpower is a limited resource belief.
(40:29):
A lot of people believe that theresource or self-control is a
resource. So a lot of people think that
yourself control is like this type of fuel that is sitting in
a tank. And once you run out of that
tank, you got to go fill up. And maybe you go fill up by
sleeping or something like that.And there was a time where they
thought that because they did these studies where they didn't
(40:50):
really vary their environment ortheir physical nature.
All they looked at is, like I said before, putting somebody in
traffic and then repetitively making them display
self-control. So if you're in the same
situation, it goes from using self-control to needing
self-discipline. And if you don't already have
the self-discipline, it's going to be very hard.
And regardless, at a certain point you might cave, right?
The person with more discipline might last longer.
(41:11):
But the key is to first stop thinking that it is a limited
resource. It is not.
You have the trait of self-control.
It is a matter of being able to display it as often as you can.
And the best way to make sure you can do that as office can is
you're changing your environment, which I'm going to
get to in a SEC. But the biggest and the first
(41:32):
thing is just changing your belief because the reality is
the placebo effect kind of conquers everything.
Honestly, what you think will happen, plain simple.
You are what you think you are. So if you think you are
something negative, something unworthy, something like, that's
what it's going to be. And it's sad, but you have to.
And it's look easier said than done.
Everything is easier said than done though, so stop saying it's
(41:54):
easier said than done and just start acting in alignment with
what you want in life, plain andsimple.
And the first thing to do in order to get what you want in
life is to have more self-control and in order to
first start building more self-control.
It's to understand and fully believe, because it's true that
willpower and self-control is not a limited resource, but it
is a skill and a trait that you develop over time and can use
(42:15):
more and more and in in harder situations the more you develop
that skill and that trait. OK #2 practical application is
that you need to practice reflection and future thinking
daily. So I would suggest journaling or
meditating. As you know, we have a journal.
The website has actually changed.
It's not Taylor coach method dotshop anymore, although I think
(42:36):
that redirects you to it, but it's choose dash hard dot shop.
I wanted everything to just be in one place for the podcast.
So choose dash hard dot shop or you can just go to
choose-hard.com and there's a shop tab.
It'll take you right there, but you should grab a journal and
you should probably meditate or pray every single day.
Get some quite a bit time in your head to just reflect, to
think. And if you can sit there and
(42:57):
reflect a bit more on what you've done in the past, reflect
on situations you've gone through so that you can kind of
run through. Like I always talk about game
tape with my clients, like thinkof the game tape.
What could you have done better?That's a part of reflection.
That's really key. And then the other part is
future thinking. Visualize the future success
you're after so that you can make actions and habits and
steps and decisions and that arein alignment with that future
(43:19):
version of yourself or future outcome that you're after #3 is
train self-control with small, less taxing and less
consequential actions or practices.
So begin to use self-control on little things.
You know, like a really good example of this, and this is
stuff that I do that really helps me is any moment that I
just don't feel like doing something, but it's clearly a
(43:40):
really easy thing to do. I, I try my best to stop myself
and do it anyway. So if I see something on the
table and I notice it, but it's not a big deal, it can stay
there. But I've noticed it and I go to
walk away. I'm going to stop myself, turn
around and do that because it's inconvenient for me to stop,
turn around, go grab it, and then find a garbage to throw it
away. But what I'm doing there is I'm
(44:01):
developing self-control because I want to just walk away and it
takes self-control to stop myself, take the time to go grab
it and throw it away. And that's a very small
unconsequential display of self-control.
Like nothing bad happens if I godo it.
Like it's inconsequential, there's no consequence.
There's a positive even, right? If I'm mowing the lawn and like
there's like a little bit of grass on one side and I got to
(44:23):
walk all the way to the other garage or detached garage, grab
the blower, then walk all the way around the back fence after
I just mowed 1/2 acre yard. Like that's annoying.
But if I see it, I notice it andI tell myself like screw that, I
don't need to do it. I immediately start thinking
like damn it, I got to go do it now, right?
If I didn't notice it, it is what it is.
But like little tiny things thatare inconsequential, what is
(44:45):
that going to do? It means I'm going to get in the
shower 3 minutes later than I would have otherwise.
Big deal. OK, so train self-control on a
regular basis with small, less taxing and stressful and
unconsequential actions and practices on a regular basis.
Those small things build up intoa, a, a high level of
self-control, which you will have to display at some point.
You just don't know when. And then #4 change your
(45:07):
environment to encourage goal orientation and eliminate
temptation. So make sure you're in a goal,
goal oriented environment. So again, like if you have a
stressful day at work and ride home, make sure you're not
coming home to a bunch of crap cookies.
All right, Come home to a positive environment.
Come home to good music playing in the background that lifts
your spirit. Come home to healthy foods that
are already prepped and planned for you.
Because you don't have to display self-control, which is
(45:27):
eliminating the temptations. And it's creating an environment
that is more conducive to your goals, which doesn't require as
much self-control, but it reinforces your goals.
And the more you reinforce your goals and eliminate temptations,
the more you will be bought intothe goal.
And the more bought into your goal, the easier it is to
display self-control. Meaning maybe you don't have to
use any self-control for that, but if you lose 10 to 20 lbs
(45:49):
because of that, you're 10 to 20lbs down, when you have to
finally display self-control, it's going to be a lot easier
because your reward is much greater.
The stakes are higher, the consequences are now greater,
and you will be able to display that self-control better.
And then the fifth one, the lastone is just really just obvious
if you didn't figure this out bynow.
Prioritize your health, sleep, diet, training, cardio, do hard
(46:11):
stuff in the gym. Make sure you're eating really
well. That's going to keep your body
healthy, including your brain. You're choosing things that are
going to be goal oriented like Ijust talked about when it comes
to diet and you're getting enough sleep.
Sleep deprives you sleep deprivation sleep.
You know having bad sleep is going to directly lead to less
self-control. So prioritize your health, plain
and simple. And if you're listening to
podcasts, I got to imagine you already know that.
(46:32):
So just go do it. OK?
That is Part 1 of this science based cell formation series I'm
going to do. There's going to be 3 more
episodes. We're going to cover
self-discipline, self belief, and then self respect.
But I wanted to touch on this one first.
This is a topic I've talked about many times, but I have not
done yet a science of self-control episode.
So I was excited about this. I hope you enjoyed it.
Leave us a five star rating review.
(46:53):
If you did share this with a friend who needs to develop
self-control or maybe if you want to do it in a nicer way,
just say, hey, this is a really cool podcast.
I like He's got a lot of episodes, but send them this one
or if somebody's struggling withtheir diet, send them this and
be like, Hey, I think you should, you know, really, really
believe in yourself and encourage them.
Let them know like, Hey, you do have what it takes to accomplish
your goal. Check out this podcast.
(47:14):
It's going to teach you the science behind why that's true
so that there's no opinions involved.
You can remove the judgement, remove the opinions, remove the
ego and just look at the science, which I just laid down
the shows. You can do this if you set your
mind to it and you decide that you're going to be an individual
who has a lot of self-control.
In this episode of the Choose Hard podcast, I'm going to break
down the science of self-control, which is step one,
what we call the self formation process.
This self formation process is the transformation of 1's self
physically, mentally, spiritually, financially,
relationships, everything in life.
And the first step in this journey is self-control, which
(00:20):
leads to self-discipline, creates self belief and earns
self respect. But today we're going to start
with self-control. I'm going to show you that it's
not about being the smartest individual in the room.
It's not about your genetics, it's not about your childhood,
it's not about any of that. It's about what you choose to do
today and every day going forward from now on that
determines your level of self-control and how
(00:40):
self-control actually creates a higher likelihood for success
than any other variable known toman.
Let's get into this episode of the Choose Hard podcast.
The greatest things in life all start with a challenge.
You must accept that everything is hard before it gets easy.
Every, every, every, everything you want in life begins with a
(01:02):
hard path. Welcome to the Choose Hard
podcast. I am your host Cody Mcbroom.
I am a father, husband, coach, entrepreneur, and my life's
mission is to help individuals choose hard every day to create
the best life possible. And that is step one in creating
your best life possible. It's choosing hard.
So let's build your body and develop your mind.
(01:23):
And today we are going to do that through learning all about
self-control. I'm excited for this podcast.
I'm always excited for the podcast.
I love podcasting. It's probably my favorite thing
to do. Interviewing great minds,
learning from people that I get to podcast with and sharing the,
you know, really just like everything we've learned from
(01:45):
coaching and what we've done with clients through the this
mic right here. So self-control to me, and the
reason I'm excited about this topic is because it's kind of
the catalyst for everything else.
It really is. It's, it's so much more
important than anything else in my opinion.
I think that self-discipline is extremely important.
(02:05):
I think self-discipline is extremely important and it's
also extremely hyped up. And so I don't want to take away
from the importance of self-discipline.
However, self-control is what helps you create and develop
self-discipline. There's other factors that go
into developing self-discipline,of course, but self-discipline
is what everybody talks about. However, there's a lot of people
(02:26):
that are sitting there wonderinglike, OK, I get it.
I, I need self-discipline in order to be successful, in order
to achieve my goals, so on and so forth.
And that's great, but how do I create it, right?
And, and a big part of that is the what we call the locus of
control, which is like your internal drive and motivation.
What stems in your nervous system, in your brain, in your
heart and soul of what I want toachieve in life.
(02:48):
Like that is a big thing becausethat gives you a reason to be
more disciplined, right? That allows you to lean on
something outside of external motivation to keep pushing you
forward. However, self-control is the
action that actually develops a lot of the self-discipline as
well as self belief even becausethe reality is, is self-control
(03:12):
is your ability to resist temptation.
It's your ability to not just say no to having some drinks,
having pizza, having cake, having cookies, whatever it is
that's trying to, let's say, throw you off your diet or
whatever temptation is trying tosteer your eyes away from your
marriage or whatever temptation is trying to make you lazy when
you know you have work to do. It's everything that you know
(03:33):
you're trying to avoid because it is bringing you down a path
that is, you know, different or veering the other way compared
to your actual goal or outcome that you're after. self-control
is what allows you to eliminate or avoid that negative path,
right? But it's also what allows you to
portion size. It's what allows you to have a
little bit. It's what allows you to create
(03:55):
enjoyment. And like, if we think of
flexible dieting, like flexible dieting's great, But if you have
no self-control, it's never gonna work.
Because how are you supposed to be flexible enough to have a a
Oreo without eating all the Oreos?
How are you supposed to have enough self-control to go out
for ice cream and get just one topping instead of five?
Or get one scoop instead of three or get it in a cup and eat
(04:18):
it with a spoon instead of a cone, like a sugar cone, right?
Like there's like there's so many examples.
What allows you to have one beerbecause you just want to go have
a beer or have a drink or a glass of wine with your friends
to connect it, it, it creates this relaxing sensation.
It allows you to relax and chilland, and just connect.
And that's amazing. Loosen up.
(04:38):
But what allows you to just havethat one and get that benefit
and, and connect on a deeper level compared to going all out
and having 4 drinks or shot before and, and going down the
deep end of drinking, right? So the point is, is self-control
is what allows us to do so much that.
And I think it's so important for us to develop this skill
because it carries over into everyday life in so many ways,
(04:59):
right? And so self-control is the 1st
and most important trait and characteristic required for
achieving success and any transformation you desire in
your life. self-control is the first step.
It's why it's the first step in our self formation process.
This is what we realized we weretaking clients through.
It starts with self-control thathelps you develop
(05:20):
self-discipline, which both leadto an increased sense of self
belief. And when you have this higher
level of self belief, you begin to shift and start moving
towards self respect. And that is the earned respect
you have for yourself, which is so important because that's what
allows you to keep the results. You is respecting yourself
enough to do what's required to maintain it.
(05:42):
It's respecting yourself enough to fuel your body properly.
Respecting yourself enough to give yourself sleep, to give
yourself a break, to also hold yourself to a higher standard so
that you do work hard when you need to work hard and you push
it when you need to push it, butyou also pull back when you need
to pull back, right? And I've talked about the cell
formation process a lot on here because I truly think it's the
most applicable and life changing process anyone can
(06:06):
really learn or be coached through, right?
And it's why like in, in our coaching, we're so passionate
about everything beyond just fitness and nutrition.
Like we help people lose fat. Like our main thing is we help
people lose fat, optimize their hormones and health so that they
can feel better and look better.But we know for a fact that in
that process, like really what, what it is, is like, that's what
(06:27):
we sell, That's what we, we giveclients because that's what they
want. And, and they do need it too.
But also like we also give them what they need.
They don't that they don't realize they need, which is the
mindset, is the discipline, is the control, is the self belief
in the confidence is the self respect.
It's a community of the accountability, right?
And so to develop that, it goes through this process.
So I talked about a lot and today we're going to start with
(06:48):
the first step, like I said, andI want to like point out three
quick bullet points as an intro before we get into the research
because I am going to break down.
I think I have 4 research studies on different topics of
of things that they have investigated through scientific
research. So this is going to be a
research review. This is going to be a research
(07:08):
driven podcast. So it is literally the science
of self-control, not just like what I think about self-control.
This is literally what does science show regarding
self-control and how can we optimize self-control in our
life? How can we develop more
self-control in our life and, and apply it to other areas of
our life? OK, so the first point I want to
point out is this is a very, very interesting fact.
These are three facts I'm going to give you to start out.
(07:30):
The first one is that intelligence plays a massive
role in academic success. We know that, but research has
actually consistently shown thatself-control is a more
significant predictor of academic achievement and overall
success in life. So individuals who go to college
have a master's and like, like look for one, getting a master's
(07:52):
or a PhD, that in itself requires a lot of self-control,
self-discipline, self belief, grit.
Like don't get me wrong, I'm notbelittling going to college or
getting a degree or anything. I have done a lot of schooling
and credentials and certifications and all kinds of
stuff. I believe in education.
I believe in specific targeted education that is actually
applicable to your goals. I think the topic of public and
(08:13):
random general education as a whole makes bag right now, but
point being is that academic success does not translate to
overall life success nearly as much as self-control.
OK so we need to understand. And the crazy part is that
self-control was a bigger predictor of academic
(08:35):
achievement than actual academicsuccess was.
Meaning when kids are going through high school, for
example, when kids are in their first couple years of college
and they are going through school and they get great
grades, that is less. If they're really smart, right?
They're intelligent, that is less of a determination factor
(08:57):
with regards to overall academicachievement and life success.
Meaning them getting a degree period after like actually
finishing college and maybe continuing and doing extra
degrees, getting a master some. There's a bigger correlation to
self-control than there is to actual intelligence, IQ,
academic success. Like it's crazy.
(09:17):
Point 1.2 Long Term Long term studies tracking individuals
from childhood to adulthood havedemonstrated that early
self-control has a profound and lasting impact on various
aspects of life, including health, wealth, and social
success. They have done countless
research studies showing And these are long term studies
meaning they start the study when somebody is a child and
they follow up and do a another study with that individual as a
(09:41):
follow up study when they are anadult.
Adults are more likely to be successful in life, health,
wealth and social environment, social relationship, social
success if they have a higher degree of self-control Many of
these studies looked at delayed gratification as well, which.
(10:03):
Delayed gratification and self-control are two very, very
commonly correlated factors because in order for me to show
delayed gratification in and actually follow through with
delayed gratification, I actually have to have a lot of
self-control. It requires self-control in
order to build and do and followthrough with delayed
gratification. Delayed gratification is me
(10:23):
saying like, OK, I'm going to drink this whole can of Jocko go
right now because I just want tolike I want to have it.
But the problem is, is that I only have one of these left and
I need energy all day. And it's the morning here at my
office. So I'm going to drink just a
little bit and then I'm going toset a timer.
I'm going to wait. And then I'm have a little bit
more, right? But it tastes really good when I
start drinking it. And it really is this icy
(10:43):
lemonade is phenomenal. Delayed gratification is like,
I'm going to let this last throughout the day, right?
Delayed gratification is when somebody puts $1000 on the
counter and says, hey, you can take this right now or don't
touch it for two years and I'll come back and give you 10,000,
(11:04):
right? And the person that can say, OK,
I'll wait 10 years or two years for 10,000, but I'm also going
to leave that thousand there. And this is the greatest part.
This is where self-control 'cause they do this with kids,
right? They have the studies where they
put the cookie. They put a cookie on the table
and go, hey, I'm going to leave this here.
They've done the marshmallow onetoo.
I'm going to leave this cookie right in front of you and I'm
(11:24):
going to come back in a little bit and I'm going to give you 2
cookies if you just don't touch it, OK.
And so kids ability to resist eating the cookie, especially
because they don't know when theperson's coming back.
I can't remember if they actually tell the kids how long
they're going to until they return with the second cookie or
if it's just an unknown time frame.
But the reality is if you have children, you know that they
have 0 idea. We're out in the cold SAC plane
(11:44):
all the time. And Blake will be like, can I
just have one more minute? And we're like, yeah, one
minute. And we put a timer on and then
we're immediately like all right, time to go in.
And she's like, wait, what? Like you have 0 idea how short
one minute is for playtime right?
And so they have to sit there and look at this cookie until
the person gets back. The the kids that can practice
self-control and not touch the cookie are way more likely to be
(12:06):
successful in life. Now I'm not sitting here on a
high horse claiming that my daughter is going to be able to
resist Cookie because it ain't easy and I think we've done it
before on camera and I don't know if she actually did it.
But point being is that you can practice skills with your kids
and it will determine their success and their achievement
and their ability to have a higher likelihood for health,
wealth and social success in life if they develop
(12:29):
self-control at a young age. And the last fact is the
benefits of self-control practice can extend beyond the
specific tasks practiced and improved overall self-control
across different domains. So they actually have research
showing that self-control is transferable.
And I'm going to show you how all these things breakdown.
I'm going to show you some of these research studies.
But the point I want to make is,is that even if you're listening
(12:50):
to podcast and you're like, well, I don't really have a
weight loss goal. I don't care about losing weight
or I'm in maintenance, whatever,that's OK.
These skills transfer And it's also a really good hopeful.
It, it should provide a lot of empowerment for people, right?
It, it and it can provide this empowerment for people because
if you are struggling to lose weight because you feel like you
don't have self-control, you feel like that is like your weak
(13:14):
point right now. What you can do is actually look
at different domains of your life and go, OK, where am I
successful? We're all successful in certain
areas. We've all accomplished
achievements in certain areas. Maybe it was academics, maybe it
was finances, maybe it was relationships, maybe it was
marriage, maybe it was parenting.
Maybe it was organizing group events for your church or for
the school or PTA or something. Well, you can dig into these
(13:36):
different areas and I promise you'll be able to find different
areas where you displayed self-control as well as
self-discipline. And then you can see that and
go, OK, so I do have self-control.
I just haven't figured out how to transfer it over here.
And that's kind of what I'm going to show you how to do
today by these little small habits and steps so that you can
take the self-control that I know is inside of you and that
you will soon learn is inside ofyou and you can use it and
(13:58):
display in these other areas of life.
OK, so key points today that youare going to learn and you need
to know #1 self-control is, is not just mental, it's physical
and environmental as well. So it's not just in your mind.
self-control goes beyond not, and I'm not just talking about
practicing. Yes, practicing self-control
requires mental, environmental, spiritual, physical, all kinds
(14:21):
of stuff. But self-control is not just a
mental thing. You can be weaken certain areas
of your mindset and still display self-control.
It's not just a matter of you got to be this insane
self-discipline motivated, strong willed minded person in
order to display self-control. It's not just mental, it's
physical and it's environmental.In fact, the physical and
(14:41):
environmental aspects actually help you build and develop the
mental self-control far more than anything else #2 you don't
run out of willpower unless you believe you do.
So it is not a gas tank, right? This is a very common belief and
there's been some studies in thepast that have kind of alluded
to it may be being one of these things, but it's not that simple
because as soon as we factor in this placebo effect, essentially
(15:03):
where we can convince people that it's not, it goes away.
So if you decide that you only have so much willpower and
self-control, then that will be true.
But if you decide to lean on what research actually shows,
and it's that self-control is not a gas tank that you just run
out of, it's a trait that you possess as a human, then you
will have an unlimited supply ofself-control and willpower and
(15:24):
you will be able to continue moving forward towards your
goals. And then #3 the better you are
at valuing the long term reward,the better you'll be at
controlling yourself in the short term.
And this just means having a clear vision of where you want
to go. One of the best ways to display
self-control in your life, especially with I would say
parenting especially, but parenting, relationships,
(15:46):
employment. So your employer, your employee,
your clients, coaching, everything like that, right?
This, this conversation, this communication realm, the best
way to improve your ability to display self-control in those
scenarios and what I mean by self-control is not losing your
shit on people when they when things don't go your way
essentially is to understand your long term goal.
(16:10):
If you get in an argument where you are having a disagreement
with your spouse, stop yourself before you respond.
Do not react, just respond. Now this doesn't mean I'm
perfect, nobody's perfect. But when we think about
self-control and relationships, this is one of the most powerful
things about self-control insideof relationships.
(16:31):
And it's that if I can stop myself before I react, give
myself just enough time to reconsider what I'm about to say
through the lens of what I want most and what I want long term
with this individual, I will be able to respond in alignment to
that overall goal and mission that I am after with my spouse.
(16:51):
So instead of reacting to an argument or letting it linger
because my ego won't allow me toapologize, I can put the frame
in the lens in front of me that says, you know what?
What I want most, not what I want now.
This is delayed gratification. What I want most is a happy
marriage, a happy family, to be role models for my daughter.
I want to be in love. I want to be attracted, I want
(17:12):
to be attractive, I want to be connected.
OK, is me reacting and getting mad going to accomplish that?
No OK, maybe I'm still not in the wrong and my ego doesn't
want me to apologize, but would I be more likely to end up at my
ultimate goal and outcome of life with this individual if I
(17:33):
stop? I don't care about winning this
argument and I apologize for my part in this argument.
The answer is yes, I will be more likely.
In fact, you'll probably be morelikely to get an apology back if
you do that too. And that's not what it's about.
It's about leading to the goal. But you can do this in any
scenario. I'm about to have my second
serving of this treat, but I'm going to give myself just enough
(17:54):
time, 5/10/15 seconds, maybe literally less than a minute, to
just think, what is my ultimate goal?
Does this align with my ultimategoal?
How long will this this taste, this this feeling this
temptation? How long will this reward
sensation actually last? Very shortly, what will I
remember about today and about the situation?
I will remember not following through with what I said, which
(18:15):
was I'm going to manage my food better.
I'm going to be mindful. I'm not going to overeat.
Am I going to remember how greatthat treat was and how it
tasted? Or am I going to remember the
fact that I said I wasn't going to do this and I did it anyway?
I'm going to remember that part,the latter, and it's going to
feel bad. But this lens can only be there.
This frame of mind can only happen in these situations that
(18:37):
you have to display self-controlin.
If you can actually understand what you're after long term.
So you have to create that long term vision and clarity around
what you want your life to be, what the ultimate goal of
mission is. OK, so that is the first a
little bit and then hopefully bynow you just understand how
important self-control is. OK, That's I really wanted to
(18:58):
provide some context in the beginning of this podcast just
so you can fully understand the the crucial nature of
self-control before we get into the science.
OK, So the research segment is next.
This is where I'm going to dive into some of the research.
OK? And I'm going to kind of go
through these quickly and just share my thoughts on them.
But I have a handful of studies here.
(19:19):
The first study is called self-control is influenced by
your environment, not just your brain.
So I'm sorry, the study, that's what it's about.
The study is called Breaking Beyond.
For anybody who wants to look this up, if I got any fellow
geeks with me, breaking beyond the borders of the brain,
self-control as a situated phenomenon.
So really what this study is showing is that self-control
(19:40):
isn't influenced by your environment, not just your
brain. So you can have the hardwire up
here. You can be a wired for
self-control, but your environment is still going in
negatively impact. So the the person who you think
has the most self-control and self-discipline can get thrown
into an environment they're not comfortable in, an environment
that is not conducive to their goals and that challenges their
(20:01):
self-control. An environment that's out of
their control, an environment that they are again
uncomfortable in and just not used to, right.
It's unknown to them that is going to influence our
self-control dramatically and itkind of brings them back to
square 1. So if you have an individual who
has more self-control than you. But you have an environment that
you are more comfortable in. Now we're on equal playing field
(20:24):
essentially, right? And so knowing this is just
power. Cause, cause knowledge is power
in the sense that if I know this, it means that I should
probably control my environment so that I can have more
self-control, right? So the goal of this study that
the researchers had was to provethat self-control isn't just
about willpower. It's also shaped by physical and
social surroundings. How they did this is they
(20:44):
reviewed studies showing how things like muscle tension, calm
environment, and trust in othersimpact our ability to control
our impulses. And here's what the findings
were #1 clenching your muscles can increase willpower in the
moment, which is kind of funny, but it's cool because it means
that physically, like there's this, this really powerful
(21:06):
muscle to mind and brain to bodyconnection, right?
And so This is why I think it's so important to understand that
it's just so much more than yourphysical nature.
It's so much more than your psychological nature.
It's, it's, it's everything, right?
But in the moment. And, and This is why it's funny
because imagine, I want you to imagine yourself or maybe
imagine me, if that, that makes it more funny if you're
especially if you're watching this.
(21:27):
And there is a treat in front ofme that I want and I'm like, I
know I shouldn't have that. And so I just start squeezing my
muscles and I'm flexing as hard as I can.
That is going to help you. I don't know if I would
recommend it. I mean, that might like I'm
imagining myself like with my daughter at like a kids event,
like kids birthday and there's cake and I'm like just just
flexing as hard as I can lookingat the cake.
(21:49):
Probably going to embarrass my daughter and look like a
psychopath. So I'm not going to do that.
But clenching your muscles will can increase willpower in the
moment. So maybe if you're alone.
But the point is, is like there is this nature of of like, I
mean, if you really think of of willpower and self-control, it
is a sense of resisting, right? I'm resisting this temptation.
So the nice part about it is that there's this this physical
(22:11):
nature of resistance that we seein the gym, right?
When I am doing a dumbbell press, dumbbell row, dumbbell,
even a dumbbell lunge with my legs, I'm going to squeeze the
dumbbell as hard as I can because I want to create as much
tension as I can. When I create total body
tension, I have more stiffness in my core.
I have more rigid like muscles. I have a better posture because
I align my joints. And so Long story short, you are
(22:32):
going to be more likely to perform the exercise better and
safer and prevent injury, right?Which is really cool.
But the cool part about this is that translates into the mental
aspect of control as well. It's not just physical control,
but implementing the physical can help the mental control.
Being in peaceful, peaceful environments helps you resist
urges. That would make a lot of sense
(22:52):
as well. Basically, if this environment
is less chaotic, it creates lessanxiety, less stress.
I'm probably going to be more likely to stay aligned with my
goals and display willpower and self-control.
And then being around supportivepeople makes it easier to stay
disciplined. And so the big take away here is
pretty simple. You can boost yourself control
by changing your environment. And you can do this by like just
(23:14):
cleaning up and tidying the workspace.
You can surround yourself with people who are going to push you
and also support you growing in the area you want to grow in.
And you can create a calm setting when you need to focus.
You can also implement the aspect of creating tension in
your muscles and just knowing that there's a physical nature
to it, even if that doesn't meanI'm going to squeeze my muscles
hovering over the cookie jar, but maybe it means I'm going to
(23:35):
go on a walk and be physical fora moment because physicality on
a regular basis might lead to better self-control.
And this would be a really good reason to implement some kind of
morning activity or exercise just from the simple sense that
I'm going to, I'm going to fire my muscles, I'm going to tense
my muscles, I'm going to be physical this morning because
that's going to lead to a more self controlled version of
(23:56):
myself. And the thing I want to add here
too is just understanding that like what we can do is be
physical. We can make sure that our
environment is calm and is nurturing to us.
And we can also make sure the people around us know who we
are, what we're about and what we're after.
Be yourself, be authentic, be transparent.
Don't surround yourself with people that don't allow you to
do that. And if you feel like you can't
do that, honestly the best thingto do is say screw it.
(24:18):
Be yourself. And if anybody in your life
cannot accept you for who you are, they don't deserve to be in
your life. As blunt as that may seem, That
is the honest truth. I have done this in my life more
than once and for a prolonged period of time.
Not being my full transparent self out of fear that others
wouldn't like me, out of fear that others would feel
(24:40):
overwhelmed or or. I don't think intimidated is the
right word but I come off intense at times.
But I'm very very passionate, very intense person in a
positive way. I also am very, very honest and
blunt, so sometimes I can say things that are on my mind and
people don't like it and it's not to offend, it's just that I
just say what's on my mind and Iheld that back and it actually
(25:00):
depressed me. It literally can make you feel
so depressed because you are hiding who you are.
And when you hide who you are, you feel as though you are not
worthy. And that's a really, really
shitty feeling. So what I want you to take away
from this is that if you have people around you and they don't
know that you're after weight loss, they don't know that
you're trying to start your own business.
They don't know that you are trying to approach these new
goals that you have. Tell them, be honest, be real,
(25:23):
be yourself, and don't be apologetic about it.
Be unapologetically your authentic self and make sure
that you have people in your circle and around you who
support that. Because if they don't, you're
not going to feel worthy. You're not going to feel good.
You're not going to be able to display self-control.
You're going to cave in the moments where you have to
display self-control, but you'rearound people who you don't want
(25:45):
to display that self-control with because you're
uncomfortable. Which is crazy because the only
thing that's stopping you from doing so is because they don't
know what you're chasing and if you told them, they would
probably support it 99% of the time.
And if they don't, they don't deserve to be your friend.
I need to interrupt the podcast for just a moment.
I promise this will be quick. But if you've listened to the
podcast for even just a few episodes, then you know that I
(26:05):
am huge on having a journal. Practice in your daily routine.
There are so many studies that show it increases your
positivity, it increases self worth and self belief.
It's going to help you execute on bigger tasks and develop new
habits. And it's also shown by research
to decrease stress, even the cortisol hormone itself, which
(26:26):
is wild, but it's also going to help you manage anxiety,
depression, overwhelm, countlessother things.
And yes, I'm literally just talking about taking a pen or a
pencil and writing on some paperfor just a little bit.
But if we want to take it to another level, we have to write
specific things. And that's where most people
struggle is what to write in your journal.
So I created our tailored life journal.
You can find this at tailored coaching method dot shop.
(26:46):
All the prompts are backed by science, research and a decade
plus of myself buying every great journal under the sun to
test out the prompts and figure out what works best to create a
positive, purposeful and a productive environment for my
day. So once again, head over to
Tailored coaching method dot shop.
Grab yourself a journal. They are cheap, they are
(27:06):
effective, and they look really cool too.
Leather bound and everything. So go check them out.
Grab a journal. It's going to make your life so
much better, I promise. Now let's get back to the
podcast #2 study two. Ego depletion is what this one
is about. So really just trying to figure
out, does your willpower run outlike a gas tank?
And the study was called ego depletion in the strength model
(27:29):
of self-control, a meta analysis.
So they looked at a lot of different studies, 198 to be
exact. The goal was to test the theory
that using self-control drained your ability to use it again.
Soon after they reviewed 198 tests from 83 studies.
So I apologize. Not 198 studies. 83 studies that
displayed 198 different tests where people did one willpower
(27:52):
task, then another. So they had to display
self-control. Then they had to display
self-control again in the same experiment, and the findings
were that people did worse on the second task, but not always.
And then the second finding was that fatigue, motivation and
beliefs about willpower affectedthe results.
So the take away is pretty simple. self-control can feel
depleted, but it's not a permanent, it's not permanently
(28:14):
limited. Your beliefs, motivation,
environment matter more than anything else.
And So what that means is that if you're in a stressful
situation and you're displaying self-control and then you have
to display it again in that samestressful situation, it might
feel harder each time. You have to display the
self-control, but it's not a tank.
Meaning, let's say the easiest way to think of this is you're
(28:37):
in traffic and traffic is terrible and you can't see ahead
of you. You have no idea how much
traffic there is and maybe something is happening that you
have to display self-control. Maybe there's people honking
behind you and there's nowhere you can go, obviously.
So you're pissed because you're like, why are people honking?
Obviously I can't move forward or I would move.
I don't want to be stuck in traffic.
And then the person that you're is in your car with you ends up
(29:00):
saying, you know what, we're going to be here for a while.
I'm going to bust out some snacks.
So they pull out their cooler and they got some like really
good baked goods. You can smell it and you want
it. So that be your own diet.
And you're sitting there and you're like, Oh my God.
And then the people are honking again.
So there's, there's these moments of like, I'm not going
to yell at them or flip them off.
I got to avoid this, these bakedgoods.
Oh my God, these people are honking again.
I'm I'm still not going to flip them off.
(29:21):
I'm still not going to yell at them.
Oh my gosh, he just pulled out my like, my favorite type of
milkshake. Now what is going on?
And then they're honking again, like this is after, after,
after, right. But then out of nowhere, you see
the light shining in front of you and the cars start to
dissipate away and you're able to just drive at full speed.
(29:44):
Within a few seconds, it clears up.
It's almost like there was one person stopped in the middle of
the road, stopping everybody on all lanes for no reason.
There's no accident. There's no clean up, there's no
stop. Like now, your environment just
changed dramatically. The smell, maybe somebody cuts
you off. You're like that guy's in a
hurry, you get nowhere fast and you're just laughing off like
(30:04):
it's not a big deal. Why?
Because your environment changed.
So my point is that what these studies show is yes, it can be
more difficult as you have to display self-control.
If it's on a repetitive manner, you have to display it again and
again and again and again. But that can change if your
environment changes. So we'll talk about the
application briefly at the end. But like a really quick, easy
tip, if you have baked goods, junk beer, whatever it is in
(30:28):
your fridge, in your pantry at home waiting for you, you should
probably get rid of it if you have.
If you can't control yourself around those things yet, don't
have them waiting for you. Because who knows what's going
to happen at work today and who knows what's going to happen on
the way home. Because if you go from a shitty
day at work and a terrible drivehome, and then you walk into a
house full of junk food and there's no prepped meal for you
(30:49):
to lean on to, you have to just display self-control.
You're trying to lose fat but all you have in front of you and
you're starving and you're angryand you're pissed off of people
from work and the drive took longer than expected.
You don't have a meal prep for you and the only things in your
pantry, in your fridge that you can eat quickly are pure shit.
Force yourself to cook. You'll survive.
You're not dying, you're just hungry, right?
(31:09):
But this is a perfect example ifyou come home in the environment
and your house is better, right?This is like a, a really easy
example. Like me and Shannon try to play
like Forrest Frank or like worship music or something
quietly in the background. Sometimes when we're cooking,
we're chilling. It's just like a nice, nice
noise in the background. It's just white noise, but it's,
but it's positive, uplifting worship music in the background.
(31:30):
It is so positive for myself, mydaughter and my wife to be
around subconsciously that it can help shift the environment
and improve our actions and our,our, our responses and
everything. So control your environment
anytime you can because sometimes you can't control your
environment. And yes, when you can't control
your environment, sometimes it feels like self self-control is
depleting. But if somebody is able to
(31:51):
change your mindset, your beliefs or your environment, you
will immediately have more self-control.
So it's not a depleting, it's not a gas tank that runs on
empty. It's a trait that can be hard.
And this is where self-discipline comes in.
The more you have to repetitively act on self-control
or should display willpower, themore you need self-discipline,
(32:14):
right? But if you can control your
environment, you don't need to as much.
It's easier. The third study is about brain
activity, which can predict reallife self-control.
So the study is called Predicting Real Life
self-control from Brain Activityand Coding the Value of Future
outcomes. This one's a little bit
confusing to be honest with you.I had to read through this a few
(32:36):
times, but it's a good one. So the goal was to see how your
brain responds to long term rewards and how they can predict
how much self-control you have in everyday life.
So basically they're trying to determine if you can envision
long term success, the reward orthe outcome.
And the reward is not just like,okay, I'm going to earn money
after this. The reward is, you know, we just
(32:58):
did like it's rapid. By the time this airs, it'll be
over. We did the summer shred
challenge, which shout out to everybody who did that.
I mean, we had, we kept it really low key because this is
our first time doing a transformation challenge or a
group. We had about 50 people in there.
And I mean, somebody lost. I think he might, this is the
last week I think he might hit £50.50 pounds, 50 in eight
weeks. It was wild.
(33:19):
I mean, multiple people. Jessica dropped over.
I talked to her a couple weeks ago and she dropped 15 already.
I know Brianna dropped eleven last time I talked to her, so I
know it's more than that. Oh gosh, who else?
I just had another conversation.Kelly dropped 9.
I mean, there's a lot of people that are crushing it.
Brian finished his weight loss journey.
(33:39):
He lost like 30 lbs and then he jumped in the challenge and lost
a bit more to complete the journey.
But Ben lost a good amount of weight.
And I was looking to build like,I mean, it's crazy how many
people did so well. It's, it's amazing.
So anyway, the winner gets $1500cash, right?
And so this is to say like, OK, I can see that reward at the
end. So that money is a factor.
I can see the reward of if I do this transformation, not only is
(34:00):
my life going to be better, I'm going to accomplish my goals,
but damn, I'm going to win $1500cash.
What am I going to do with that 1500?
That's going to give me a rewardthat I can see a long term
outcome that I can see that I really want.
That is going to motivate me more.
And you know, they're looking atin the study, will that allow me
to have more self-control? Because I know that's coming.
Same thing with like. But a reward doesn't have to be
money. A reward can be the feeling.
(34:21):
And This is why you have to dig deep into your goals, right?
So if I know that I'm going to lose 3040 lbs in this journey,
what will life be like in 3040 lbs?
I'm going to think of like next time I fly on a plane when I'm
30 to 40 lbs lighter. Next time I drive to an hour
long commute. Next time I have to run around
with my daughter or walk my dog or go on a hike with friends, or
next time I visit my family who live out of state and I haven't
(34:43):
seen him in a while. Like, what is that going to be
like? Every situation that you think
of is going to create this dopamine response, this reward
sensation of, wow, life is goingto be so much better when I'm
leaner. Life is going to be so much
better when I get in shape and Ifeel healthy and I have more
energy and I feel better, right?So that is a reward.
It's not money, but that is a tangible thing that like I can't
wait to have that outcome in my life.
(35:04):
And if I can visualize that longterm, I'm going to be
potentially, that's what the study's looking at more likely.
And the answer is you will to achieve it and to display
self-control to get there. So why long term visualization
when we're thinking about goals is so important?
So what they did is they took people and they had them do a
decision making task in what's called an fMRI machine, then
(35:28):
tracked their daily habits via phone surveys.
And the findings were that thosewith stronger brain signals when
thinking about future rewards like long term goals, who showed
more discipline in real life. And so the way that the brain
signals in this study will be more will be stronger, they'll
get a better reading of these these strong brain signals, just
so you know, is if they get morespecific with the long term
(35:51):
goals. So it's that, you know, when it
says those with stronger brain signals when thinking about
future rewards like long term goals showed more discipline in
real life. It's meaning that those who were
more clearly able to visualize the future reward and
achievement and success that they will have had larger brain
(36:12):
signals and waves in this machine.
And those individuals ended up in the study being more likely
to display discipline in real life.
And so the take away is that your ability to imagine and
value the future helps you stay on track and practicing
visualization long term success,practicing visualizing long term
(36:32):
success to strengthen the skill is extremely important.
So main take away is really simple, the more clear you can
get on your future, the better. And this is goes back to even
what I said. Put that frame or that lens in
front of you when you're in an argument or were you trying to
make a good decision, right? Like put that frame in front of
you can stop and go, What do I want most in life and what do I
want most with this individual? What do I want most out of my
business? What do I want most out of my
(36:53):
fat loss journey? How do I act in accordance with
that? If you have a more clear vision
of what you want in your relationship, what you want with
your business, what you want with your life, what you want
with your fat loss goals, the more likely it is that you will
display self-control and discipline along the way to get
to that goal. OK.
And the 4th and final study thatI figured that would be
(37:16):
important is about sleep. And the study is called sleep
deprivation promotes habitual control over a goal or goal
directed behavior. So they're looking at sleep
deprivation and how it can promote habitual self-control
essentially. So the goal was to investigate
whether lack of sleep causes individuals to rely more on
(37:37):
impulse driven habits rather than conscious goal oriented
decisions. So the methods were participants
were were basically subjected tosleep deprivation.
They forced them to be deprived of sleep.
Then they completed tasks evaluating your ability to
choose between habitual versus goal directed action.
(37:57):
So pretty simple, like let's make these people lack a ton of
sleep. They're sleep deprived.
And now we go, OK, what is your goal weight loss?
OK, what have you been doing up to this point that has got you
to a place where you want to lose weight?
I've been eating like crap. This is just a simplified
version. OK, Choice one, eat the healthy
food. Choice 2 Eat the food that you
(38:20):
enjoy. The healthy food is something
that you don't know if it tastesgood 'cause it's not your
normal. The unhealthy food is something
you eat all the time. It's fast food and This is why
you're overweight. Your goal is to lose weight.
Your comfort is fast food. OK, goal oriented is healthy
food towards your goal of weightloss and fast food is the
habitual impulse driven habit that you've been doing that got
(38:42):
you to the point that you're at now.
And what they did with these subjects is they basically sleep
deprived them and then said, OK,now choose right.
And so the findings were that the sleep deprived participants
were significantly more likely to revert to habitual behaviors
and less likely to use deliberate goal driven control.
So the conclusion is pretty simple.
Without adequate sleep self-control, weekends and
(39:03):
decision making shifts towards autonomic habitual responses,
making it harder to resist temptations or make thoughtful
choices. So plain and simple, the
likelihood that you're going to display self-control, have good
discipline and make the right decisions that are oriented
towards your goals in life, no matter what that is, we're
talking relationships, success, business, fitness, anything is
(39:27):
very unlikely. If you are sleep deprived,
you're probably not going to choose the right things.
Plain simple. So we got to prioritize sleep.
And I would, I would even say that that means stress
management in general and healthin general, but sleep
deprivation is going to be a key, OK.
And so based on the research above, I have some really just
like science backed methods and practice practical strategies
for you to implement. OK.
(39:47):
And and that's how we'll kind ofconclude and wrap up this
podcast on the science of self-control.
I already kind of touched on a lot of these, but I want to just
summarize the the main takeawaysthat I think if you want to
avoid thinking too much about the science behind self-control
and what your brains doing and how they compared the groups and
stuff. Hopefully by this time.
On the podcast, I've just given you enough proof and evidence
(40:08):
that this is really important. There's a lot of research on it
and there is absolutely a way for you to improve your level of
self-control. And then you can translate that
and transfer that to any area oflife.
And so these five things are really like what you have to do.
And the first one is to shift your mindset away from the
willpower is a limited resource belief.
(40:29):
A lot of people believe that theresource or self-control is a
resource. So a lot of people think that
yourself control is like this type of fuel that is sitting in
a tank. And once you run out of that
tank, you got to go fill up. And maybe you go fill up by
sleeping or something like that.And there was a time where they
thought that because they did these studies where they didn't
(40:50):
really vary their environment ortheir physical nature.
All they looked at is, like I said before, putting somebody in
traffic and then repetitively making them display
self-control. So if you're in the same
situation, it goes from using self-control to needing
self-discipline. And if you don't already have
the self-discipline, it's going to be very hard.
And regardless, at a certain point you might cave, right?
The person with more discipline might last longer.
(41:11):
But the key is to first stop thinking that it is a limited
resource. It is not.
You have the trait of self-control.
It is a matter of being able to display it as often as you can.
And the best way to make sure you can do that as office can is
you're changing your environment, which I'm going to
get to in a SEC. But the biggest and the first
(41:32):
thing is just changing your belief because the reality is
the placebo effect kind of conquers everything.
Honestly, what you think will happen, plain simple.
You are what you think you are. So if you think you are
something negative, something unworthy, something like, that's
what it's going to be. And it's sad, but you have to.
And it's look easier said than done.
Everything is easier said than done though, so stop saying it's
(41:54):
easier said than done and just start acting in alignment with
what you want in life, plain andsimple.
And the first thing to do in order to get what you want in
life is to have more self-control and in order to
first start building more self-control.
It's to understand and fully believe, because it's true that
willpower and self-control is not a limited resource, but it
is a skill and a trait that you develop over time and can use
(42:15):
more and more and in in harder situations the more you develop
that skill and that trait. OK #2 practical application is
that you need to practice reflection and future thinking
daily. So I would suggest journaling or
meditating. As you know, we have a journal.
The website has actually changed.
It's not Taylor coach method dotshop anymore, although I think
(42:36):
that redirects you to it, but it's choose dash hard dot shop.
I wanted everything to just be in one place for the podcast.
So choose dash hard dot shop or you can just go to
choose-hard.com and there's a shop tab.
It'll take you right there, but you should grab a journal and
you should probably meditate or pray every single day.
Get some quite a bit time in your head to just reflect, to
think. And if you can sit there and
(42:57):
reflect a bit more on what you've done in the past, reflect
on situations you've gone through so that you can kind of
run through. Like I always talk about game
tape with my clients, like thinkof the game tape.
What could you have done better?That's a part of reflection.
That's really key. And then the other part is
future thinking. Visualize the future success
you're after so that you can make actions and habits and
steps and decisions and that arein alignment with that future
(43:19):
version of yourself or future outcome that you're after #3 is
train self-control with small, less taxing and less
consequential actions or practices.
So begin to use self-control on little things.
You know, like a really good example of this, and this is
stuff that I do that really helps me is any moment that I
just don't feel like doing something, but it's clearly a
(43:40):
really easy thing to do. I, I try my best to stop myself
and do it anyway. So if I see something on the
table and I notice it, but it's not a big deal, it can stay
there. But I've noticed it and I go to
walk away. I'm going to stop myself, turn
around and do that because it's inconvenient for me to stop,
turn around, go grab it, and then find a garbage to throw it
away. But what I'm doing there is I'm
(44:01):
developing self-control because I want to just walk away and it
takes self-control to stop myself, take the time to go grab
it and throw it away. And that's a very small
unconsequential display of self-control.
Like nothing bad happens if I godo it.
Like it's inconsequential, there's no consequence.
There's a positive even, right? If I'm mowing the lawn and like
there's like a little bit of grass on one side and I got to
(44:23):
walk all the way to the other garage or detached garage, grab
the blower, then walk all the way around the back fence after
I just mowed 1/2 acre yard. Like that's annoying.
But if I see it, I notice it andI tell myself like screw that, I
don't need to do it. I immediately start thinking
like damn it, I got to go do it now, right?
If I didn't notice it, it is what it is.
But like little tiny things thatare inconsequential, what is
(44:45):
that going to do? It means I'm going to get in the
shower 3 minutes later than I would have otherwise.
Big deal. OK, so train self-control on a
regular basis with small, less taxing and stressful and
unconsequential actions and practices on a regular basis.
Those small things build up intoa, a, a high level of
self-control, which you will have to display at some point.
You just don't know when. And then #4 change your
(45:07):
environment to encourage goal orientation and eliminate
temptation. So make sure you're in a goal,
goal oriented environment. So again, like if you have a
stressful day at work and ride home, make sure you're not
coming home to a bunch of crap cookies.
All right, Come home to a positive environment.
Come home to good music playing in the background that lifts
your spirit. Come home to healthy foods that
are already prepped and planned for you.
Because you don't have to display self-control, which is
(45:27):
eliminating the temptations. And it's creating an environment
that is more conducive to your goals, which doesn't require as
much self-control, but it reinforces your goals.
And the more you reinforce your goals and eliminate temptations,
the more you will be bought intothe goal.
And the more bought into your goal, the easier it is to
display self-control. Meaning maybe you don't have to
use any self-control for that, but if you lose 10 to 20 lbs
(45:49):
because of that, you're 10 to 20lbs down, when you have to
finally display self-control, it's going to be a lot easier
because your reward is much greater.
The stakes are higher, the consequences are now greater,
and you will be able to display that self-control better.
And then the fifth one, the lastone is just really just obvious
if you didn't figure this out bynow.
Prioritize your health, sleep, diet, training, cardio, do hard
(46:11):
stuff in the gym. Make sure you're eating really
well. That's going to keep your body
healthy, including your brain. You're choosing things that are
going to be goal oriented like Ijust talked about when it comes
to diet and you're getting enough sleep.
Sleep deprives you sleep deprivation sleep.
You know having bad sleep is going to directly lead to less
self-control. So prioritize your health, plain
and simple. And if you're listening to
podcasts, I got to imagine you already know that.
(46:32):
So just go do it. OK?
That is Part 1 of this science based cell formation series I'm
going to do. There's going to be 3 more
episodes. We're going to cover
self-discipline, self belief, and then self respect.
But I wanted to touch on this one first.
This is a topic I've talked about many times, but I have not
done yet a science of self-control episode.
So I was excited about this. I hope you enjoyed it.
Leave us a five star rating review.
(46:53):
If you did share this with a friend who needs to develop
self-control or maybe if you want to do it in a nicer way,
just say, hey, this is a really cool podcast.
I like He's got a lot of episodes, but send them this one
or if somebody's struggling withtheir diet, send them this and
be like, Hey, I think you should, you know, really, really
believe in yourself and encourage them.
Let them know like, Hey, you do have what it takes to accomplish
your goal. Check out this podcast.
(47:14):
It's going to teach you the science behind why that's true
so that there's no opinions involved.
You can remove the judgement, remove the opinions, remove the
ego and just look at the science, which I just laid down
the shows. You can do this if you set your
mind to it and you decide that you're going to be an individual
who has a lot of self-control.
Popular Podcasts
Law & Order: Criminal Justice System - Season 1 & Season 2
Season Two Out Now! Law & Order: Criminal Justice System tells the real stories behind the landmark cases that have shaped how the most dangerous and influential criminals in America are prosecuted. In its second season, the series tackles the threat of terrorism in the United States. From the rise of extremist political groups in the 60s to domestic lone wolves in the modern day, we explore how organizations like the FBI and Joint Terrorism Take Force have evolved to fight back against a multitude of terrorist threats.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
NFL Daily with Gregg Rosenthal
Gregg Rosenthal and a rotating crew of elite NFL Media co-hosts, including Patrick Claybon, Colleen Wolfe, Steve Wyche, Nick Shook and Jourdan Rodrigue of The Athletic get you caught up daily on all the NFL news and analysis you need to be smarter and funnier than your friends.