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July 28, 2025 45 mins

What good is control, discipline, or belief—if you don’t respect the person you’re becoming?

In the final episode of this 4-part series on personal development, Cody McBroom breaks down the science of self-respect—what it really means, why it matters more than people realize, and how to build it from the inside out.

Backed by research and real-world strategies, you’ll learn:

- Why self-respect is the foundation of long-term success

- The difference between self-esteem, self-worth, and self-respect

- How moral integrity and value-aligned behavior wire your brain for confidence

- What global studies show about self-respect’s role in reducing depression and building assertiveness

- How honoring your values—especially when no one’s watching—creates unshakable character

Cody shares three major studies on how self-respect improves mental health and resilience, along with practical strategies you can use today to strengthen yours. From setting boundaries to journaling your moral wins, this episode provides a clear framework for building lasting integrity and inner trust.

This isn’t just about feeling good—it’s about becoming the kind of person who can’t be shaken.

Whether you're a high-performer, parent, coach, or entrepreneur—this is how you cement everything you've worked for.

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Transcript

Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
In today's podcast, I'm going toteach you all about self respect
and specifically how to earn self respect in your life.
And this wraps up our four part series on self formation, where
we covered self-control, which really starts the journey,
self-discipline which builds thepath, self belief which powers
your momentum. And now finally, self respect,

(00:21):
which is the foundation that youlive on.
So listen in, learn how to gain the ultimate level of self
respect in your life and consistently maintain integrity
day-to-day. So listen in to learn how to
level up your inner respect and maintain integrity with your
core values every single day. The greatest things in life all

(00:41):
start with a challenge. You must accept that everything
is hard before it gets easy. Every every every everything you
want in life begins with a hard path.
Welcome to the choose hard podcast.
I'm your host Cody Mcbroom. I am a father, husband,
entrepreneur, coach and a man ona mission to help individuals
live their best life possible. Step one in living your best

(01:04):
life possible is choosing hard every single day and that's what
this podcast is here to help youdo So let's build your body and
develop your mind Today we are going to be diving in to self
respect. This is actually probably I feel
like I need to stop saying this is my favorite topic to talk
about, but it really like the self formation process in
general is and this is part 4. So if you haven't listened to

(01:26):
the first three parts of this series, make sure that you go
into Spotify, Apple, wherever else you listen to it.
If you listen it to I there's somany podcast platforms.
We're on Amazon, we're on like we're on ones I've never even
heard of. I think there's one called like
Jukebox, iHeartRadio. I've heard that we're on there.
So we're on everything wherever you're listening, go back to the

(01:48):
podcast library in like the feedof of my podcast and go save
those episodes. They're going to be the previous
three solo episodes where you don't see another person's name
that I'm interviewing, although we've had some amazing guests on
lately. But go back and save those
'cause you're going to want to listen to them now.

(02:09):
It's not a big deal that you didn't listen to those first
because this episode is actually.
This one might actually convinceyou to go listen to those even
more so because you'll see how self respect is just something
that you earn and gain as you live out those other aspects of
the self formation process. So we have self-control, which I
believe really starts the journey.

(02:29):
That's where you're really taking a lot of actions.
That's Part 1. Then we have self-discipline,
which kind of a really lays downthe bricks and and builds the
path ahead of you. It replaces motivation and helps
you build the pathway that you will be following.
Then we have self belief which is accumulated as you go through
actions and achieving results and doing the work that requires

(02:51):
self-control and self-discipline.
And this is what really builds your momentum because the more
belief you have, the more momentum you have to continue
taking action. And then we land on this last
phase, which is part 4. And this is self respect.
And this is, this is the foundation you live on because
once you earn self respect, which is ultimately the inner
respect you have for yourself, right?

(03:13):
You're going to be so much more aligned with who you believe you
could be, who you know your greatest potential to be, and
what your core values are on thedeepest level possible.
This is truly living a a purposedriven and core value based
life. When you have self respect, you
do that. You maintain integrity on a

(03:34):
daily basis with who you say youare and the best version you
know you can be. Because your best version and
the person you tell others you are has a set of core values and
principles. And you're going to follow and
abide by those values and principles that you set for
yourself on a daily basis, even when nobody's watching.
If you have a high level of selfrespect.

(03:57):
This is where self respect, Trump's body positivity, so much
body positivity really got conflated and and inflated to a
really a negative place because people started letting
themselves fall apart and be unhealthy, saying that they're
being positive and loving to themselves.
And it's just not true. If you have a high level of self
respect, you love yourself enough to do the hard things.

(04:20):
Body positivity gives you an out, it gives you an excuse and
it gives you a reason to just not try harder.
But the reality is, if you love yourself and you truly have self
respect, then you know you deserve better.
You know that you should invest in your body.
You know that you should invest in your mind.
You know that you should be working hard to create the best
body, mind, and life possible inA high level of self respect

(04:43):
allows you to habitually not even have to try, but maintain
integrity with the version of you that does that, right?
And so we're going to dive deep into this because this is such a
powerful thing. This is what anchors you day
after day after day to get through the challenges and do
the work you need to do because you respect yourself enough to

(05:05):
put in the effort to try harder,to fully commit, to be
consistent, to adhere to the plan and to achieve more because
you know you deserve it. This is like I had to bring the
body positivity thing up becauseI think so many people
misunderstand what body being positive to your body and
yourself really is. I don't even want like we

(05:26):
shouldn't be talking about body positivity.
We should be calling it and talking about solely self
respect and that is earned, which we're going to get into.
So I'm going to break this podcast up into sections just
like I've done the other ones. And if you listen to other ones,
you know that I kind of had a few different parts of the
podcast where I go through and II give an intro, which I just
did. Then we are going to kind of

(05:48):
cover why The thing is so important.
So in this case, self respect. Why is this such a valuable key?
Then we're going to talk about science and we're going to show
a few studies that actually determine and and really create
facts. And the reason I do this every
time is because I want you to have a fact that you can lean on
instead of your feelings. Because our feelings will try to
pull us away from the facts because we get in our feelings.

(06:09):
But the reality is, is that feelings are fleeting.
Facts are facts. You can see those and it can
allow you to tap into your logical brain a little bit
easier. And that's where a lot of us
fail. A lot of us fail by leaning too
far into the emotional side. We lean into our emotional
thoughts and feelings and what happens there is we get

(06:31):
sidetracked, distracted, pulled away from the facts that are on
the path that lead us to the result we're after.
OK, so I want to break down someof the science on all these
because it's really important. This one has a little bit less
deep dive science because self respect is something you earn
after doing the other ones. The other ones have a lot of
science in them. And if you listen to those
episodes, you heard it. If you didn't go listen to those

(06:51):
now, then we'll kind of go into in this one, we're going to talk
about the comparison. I want to really paint the
picture and compare self respectto the respect of others, the
respect you have for others and the respect others have for you.
And where this is different and where it's the same.
Then we're going to get into some practical strategies and
just how you can actually put things into play that will help
you develop this because that's really important.

(07:13):
And we'll wrap it up from there.So we're going to go through
each section of this podcast in that order so that we can really
understand. Now the first section, as I
said, is talking about why this is so important.
So why is self respect so important and what I would call
the pinnacle of personal growth.I think it is the pinnacle
because it is what is at the top.
And when we show clients and people coming into the our

(07:36):
community and our tribe and our culture and like we're talking
as a group in the portal and everything for our tailored
coaching community, we talk about self information all the
time. And we show this graphic and we
show this graphic of it's a pathway and there's like flags,
like milestones and then a finish line at the end.
And it goes through this pathwayof self-control,
self-discipline, self belief, and then self respect.

(07:57):
Self respect is the pinnacle. It's the final destination that
you land on because it's what keeps you going.
It's what you've earned at the end of it.
And that's the first point I want to make with why this is so
important and why I love it so much.
And it really resonates with us at Tailored Coaching.
It resonates with the choose hard culture, the choose hard
mentality. And that's that it's earned.

(08:17):
It's not given. self-control, self-discipline and even self
belief are tools that you can build, especially self-control
and self-discipline. self-control is an action you
you take and it's difficult to do.
And you got to choose hard in those moments to really take
control and have self-control. But that self-control builds
discipline and discipline is a continual skill and that you

(08:40):
refine by doing the hard work when you don't feel like it, but
it becomes a, it's a skill that becomes a trait, in my opinion,
a characteristic you, you possess a lot of self-discipline
after taking actions that require self-discipline,
especially when you don't have much.
And then these create self belief.
And there's also practices you can use to, to develop self
belief, self efficacy, self-confidence, but those are

(09:01):
kind of built self respect. You can't just build it.
You have to go through this process.
It's not something that you justgo, oh, I'm going to like, I'm
going to give you some strategies at the end of this
that'll help you build it. But really they are strategies
that lean on those other key pillars of the self formation
process so that you accumulate self respect because self
respect is earned. It's not given.

(09:22):
It's the experience you have when you consistently live in
alignment with not only your core values, but those those
tools, when you consistently show self-control, when you
consistently have discipline, when you consistently build self
belief, you will have more self respect.
It increases yourself worth, right?

(09:43):
And this is so important in lifefor so many people.
So number one, it's important todiscuss this and to think about
it because it's earned. It's not given.
And in today's culture, I mean, I'll just say it, in today's
world, today's culture, people want handouts constantly.

(10:03):
People want things to be given to them.
They don't want to work for it. They want the fast path, they
want the easy track, they want the hacks.
And it's really unfortunate because growth happens in the
mud. Growth happens in the thick of
it, right when you're digging the hole, that's when you get
deep and that's when you developthe traits of skills, the
lessons and insights. So I feel bad for people who who

(10:29):
fail to understand this or who don't listen to podcasts like
this. And This is why I encourage
people like, if you're listeningto this, you're obviously not
one of those people because you're seeking growth.
Share this podcast with a friend.
Share other podcasts you listen to that aren't even mine with a
friend. Like you should be posting this
stuff on your story because the only way for our culture and our
society to become more understanding of where growth

(10:52):
happens and more understanding of what hard work does for us is
to see these kind of messages spread constantly.
That's why I have these hats, this choose hard hat I'm
wearing, which is all blacked out and this will be dropping
soon. They're like in the factory
right now and I'm excited about them.
I got another one coming too. That's going to be really sweet.

(11:13):
I'm not going to, I can announcewhat it is yet, but I got a
really cool shirt already pressed, printed, screen
printed, ready to go. I'm waiting for these hats that
kind of match it and I'm going to launch those.
And the whole idea behind the, the hats and the shirts and
stuff is not for me to make profits 'cause I barely do at
all, just enough to like keep buying more, 'cause that's not
my thing. My thing is to spread a message

(11:34):
of hard work. Choose hard means do the hard
thing each day so that you become a better human being.
And you have to spread that message.
That's why I'm wearing this. That's why I want, it's on my
truck sticker. Like that's why I want people
to, to really indoctrinate this message.
So please, please, please spreadthis, 'cause these things are
earned, they're not given. Number two reason why this is
more important. It's so important.

(11:56):
The ultimate confidence booster is self respect.
It's the the calm certainty thatyou act with integrity.
You live by your values and you can trust that your own
character is going to do the right thing even when no one's
watching. Somebody who has a lot of self
respect acts in alignment with the best version of themselves.

(12:17):
They act in alignment with what is right as a human.
They do the right thing, they work hard, they put in the
effort, and they do it all when nobody's watching because it
doesn't matter if somebody else gives you credit anymore.
Like at the end of the day, the way I look at it is God's
watching and I'm watching. And if these two guys are

(12:39):
watching God in myself, then that's enough for me to push it.
That's enough for me to put intoeffort.
That's enough for me to give my all and that's enough for me to
do the right thing. I don't need a trophy.
I don't need a pat on the butt. I don't need anybody to even see
it and acknowledge it. Now don't get me wrong, in the
last podcast we talked about self belief and how
acknowledgement and recognition from others externally, not just

(13:01):
yourself, does boost confidence.There's research, support it.
So don't get me wrong, somebody sees it, I love it, I'm happy.
But I'll tell you what feels even better than doing something
in front of somebody. One, because you know it's the
right thing, but two, maybe alsobecause, you know, people are
watching. So if you, if you in your head
and we've all done this, go, Oh shit, I got to do this there.

(13:22):
So and so's watching so and so around.
There's people around. That shouldn't be the only
reason you do something. If you do something just because
you know it's the right thing versus you do something because
you want to do the right thing in front of people because
they're going to see it. Start putting this into practice
outside of those situations. Because what feels better than

(13:43):
anything is when you do the right thing because you know
it's the right thing. And then later on you find out
somebody was watching like that feels good.
And talk about external feedbackgiving you self belief and
self-confidence and and self worth and value self respect.
That's the best. That is the ultimate form of a
compliment that will lead to more self respect because it

(14:05):
means so much more, holds so much more weight, and so much
more value knowing that the compliment is coming from a
place of damn, you didn't know Iwas watching, but I saw what you
did. Huge ultimate confidence
booster. The the third and last thing
before we get into the science is going to be that it's an
anchor. This is the resilience anchor.

(14:27):
Self respect creates emotional stability and reduces the need
for external validation. Like I was just talking about
helping you maintain progress even during setbacks.
So what is going to allow you toeat healthy when nobody around
you is supporting you eating healthy or there is nobody
around you and you're emotional and you have cravings and you

(14:47):
want to cave and eat something? You're stressed out.
What is going to help you when you need to wake up and work out
because you've skipped a few workouts?
What's going to help you when you have to work overtime and
you're in the office, but nobody's there, right?
There's a plenty of forms of accountability that are going to

(15:08):
help you with this, but the one that's going to help you the
most and it's going to anchor you to your goals and anchor you
to your values and hard work in general is going to be self
respect. Yes, you need discipline to wake
up and go get the workout and yes, you need discipline to
choose and self-control to choose the good thing over the
bad thing to eat when nobody's around watching and you have
cravings, all that stuff. But self respect is the reason

(15:30):
you act on self-control and self-discipline because when I
have the option of junk food andhealthy food and I know what my
goals are and nobody's around, nobody's going to know.
The only reason I choose the healthy thing is because I've
developed a sense of self respect that knows I deserve
better. And so I'm going to act in
alignment with what gets me the better result, plain and simple.

(15:52):
So it's an anchor that's going to anchor you back and down.
Now the, the second part of thisactually, before I get into the
science is going to be, you know, really looking at the
comparison between self respect and respect for others.
And I wanted to add this sectionin because I think it's
important for us to understand that it is different, but it is
very, very similar. Because the easiest way for

(16:15):
individuals to learn something new, develop a new skill or
trait, or create a sense of belief and confidence that they
can do something is going to be to understand where this skill,
this trait, this requirement, the effort that they have to put
in that they're nervous about orthat they're inexperienced with.
It's to understand what that is parallel to when I can connect

(16:37):
the dots between other areas of your life that you've had
discipline and self-control to the new goal that you've set and
how you're going to need self-control and discipline in
there. And you feel like you can't do
it because you've never expressed self-control and
discipline in this area. So you don't have self belief in
this area. I'm going to show you how to
translate this self belief from the self-control and discipline

(16:58):
you've shown in this other area of life and translate that over
to this new area so you can accomplish your goal.
And there's a specific way to doit that I touched on in the self
belief podcast. And so I, I wanted to paint
another parallel picture with this so you can understand how
to earn yourself respect based on how others earn yourself
respect. I think not enough people really

(17:19):
connect these dots and understand that I could probably
increase my own self worth and own self love and own self
appreciation and value if I thought deeper about what makes
me love, increase worth, see value and appreciate others
more. A really funny way to look at

(17:39):
this that is so unbelievably true is how we criticize
ourselves and show ourselves no grace.
We should we criticize ourselvesfor our our lack of blank, I
mean anything. We criticize our body image, we
criticize our work ethic, we criticize our skills.
We're our own worst critic. We're our own worst enemy in so

(18:02):
many ways. We pick ourselves apart in so
many categories of life, parenting, work, physical
fitness, physical health, body fat.
Then we talk to somebody else who is talking negative to
themselves out loud and we say they're crazy.
And we're like, dude, you're putting in such a strong effort

(18:22):
in the gym. I see you, dude, you eat healthy
all the time, you're fine. One screw up is not a big deal.
Oh my gosh, don't even talk about how you look that way.
You look great. What are you talking about?
And we mean it. We've all seen this.
Why? Why don't we do that for
ourselves? It's it's actually insane.

(18:43):
Well, one of the only ways to really do this with ourselves is
to go through step 1-2 and threeof the self formation process
because that's what allows you to earn a higher level of self
love worth, appreciation, grace,even, and of course respect,
which in kind of encapsulates all those.
But if we understand what like what social respect is given
from us, we will see that it's not the fact that so and so has

(19:08):
a six pack that we respect them.It's it's that they wake up,
they grind to the gym, they get it done, they choose healthy
foods, they they're doing the hard work and they're committed
to it. That's why we respect them.
OK, so while we're doing all of those things, yet we just don't
have the shredded 6 pack we want.
Why are we not respecting ourselves?
We respect other people for the hard work they put in,
regardless of the result they achieve.

(19:29):
Yet we get a result and we put in the work and we criticize our
result and say it's not good enough and show ourselves no
self respect. It's insane.
It's absolutely insane. I've done this too, and when I
stopped doing it was exactly when I developed a greater sense
of self respect and I started treating myself better because I
knew what I deserved and I knew what my core values were and I

(19:51):
identified what I respect in others.
And when I did that, I realized I don't respect others for how
they look or how lean they are, how much muscle they have.
I respect others for their core values.
How they treat people and the work ethic they have.
So as long as I have strong corevalues that I'm aligned with, I
have a high work ethic and I getshit done and I treat others

(20:15):
really well and I'm trying to give and serve others, I'm going
to have an insane amount of selfrespect.
I'm going to always be able to lean back on those things and go
did I put in my full effort? Did I treat people well?
And what I did today, is it aligned with my personal core
values? Yes, yes, yes.
OK, I don't care what the resultis.
I mean, I do. I want a great result.
Don't get me wrong, I'm here to win, but I'm going to respect

(20:38):
myself still, right? So three quick bullet points on
this really understanding based on what like I kind of just
described there, which hopefullyalready painted the picture, but
it's parallel to social respect is the big key to what I was
just saying. So just like others are in your
respect through integrity, reliability, authenticity, hard
work, treating others well, you gain self respect by treating

(21:00):
yourself with dignity and with honor and with alignment to
those things. So if you act in accordance of
those things and remove the, theresult from the pedestal, you
earn self respect #2 internal moral compass.
When you, your internal dialogueand actions sync up with your

(21:21):
core values and you're very aligned with it, you generate a
deep sense of self worth and self respect.
And this is what we see in others that creates respect.
Like I, I say this often to clients and, and people in our
community when we're talking about this, step back and you
know, take a couple notes and think, write down like 5 names
of somebody you've always respected in your life.
And then why it's never going tobe because how much money they

(21:44):
make, the results they have, even if it's somebody who lost a
ton of weight, it's not like, wow, they lost 70 lbs.
That 70 lbs is why I respect them.
No, it's like, damn, they lost 70 lbs.
I know what that took. Damn, they really, really worked
hard to get that weight loss done.
They set their mind to something.
They accomplished it. Like I respect those things,

(22:08):
right? And and it becomes your internal
moral compass. And then the last one is clear
boundaries. I think this is really important
that not a lot of people talk about, but individuals with high
respect confidently say no to whatever comes in their life
that doesn't align with their core values.
And they say yes to things that elevate them as a person.
And they're mirroring how we respect others who respect

(22:29):
themselves. Think about it like this.
If somebody is putting their family 1st and saying no to
things, that does not put their family first.
We don't hate them, in fact we want to be more like them.
We respect them. Yep, we're afraid to set
boundaries so we don't want to hurt people's feelings.
I'm sorry but go back to the beginning.
Screw your feelings. This is about the facts and the

(22:52):
facts are I care about my familymost and my integrity that keeps
me aligned with my values. As a man says, put family first.
And so I respect anybody who does that too.
So you have to set clear boundaries and you have to hold
those boundaries as a person. The more you hold boundaries in
your life, the more respect you will have for yourself.

(23:12):
When you cave on those boundaries, you will feel walked
on and you will have less self respect.
Because if you walk all over somebody and somebody just lets
you do whatever lets you say whatever, lets you dictate
everything, doesn't ever give their opinion, doesn't voice any
concerns, just follows along like a sheep, you don't respect
them. You have 0 respect for that

(23:33):
person. So why on earth would we respect
ourselves if we're setting boundaries and letting people
just erase the boundaries and walk all over us?
It makes no sense. We wouldn't.
And hopefully this really just paints it in your mind so that
you can start to understand. This is how you create more self
respect. And again, self respect is self

(23:54):
worth. OK, now we're going to get into
the research studies, which are pretty cool, but also, again, I
think a little bit less in depththan the previous episodes in
this series just because most ofself respect is a it's, it's a
way of living. It's in, it's your integrity and

(24:15):
your alignment to your core values.
And I think that if you don't have core values, you're going
to struggle out of self respect.If you don't set boundaries in
your life to stay aligned with those, you're going to have less
self respect. And ultimately, if you don't go
through step 1-2 and three, self-control, discipline and
belief, I think it's going to behard to develop.

(24:36):
I think it's a process. So this is like, again, my goal
with this podcast is to paint a picture of what your life could
be and what the mental dialogue you have in your head would be
like if you had a high level of self respect so that you get
more convinced and really just passionate and eager to go
through phase one through three-step one through 3.

(24:56):
So research, so study one is it's called moral behaviors
boost self esteem via self respect.
So their goal with this study was to determine how moral
conduct contributes to contributes uniquely to self
respect independent of performance based esteem.
And so the method was that they took participants and assessed

(25:18):
their moral integrity, self reported self respect and self
esteem across multiple studies. The results were that moral
behavior significantly increasedself respect, which then
improved overall self esteem more so than competence or
social approval. So it didn't matter if we again,
this is this is the reason I want to do this is because their

(25:38):
conclusion was that living in alignment with your values is a
major driver of self respect, which supports long lasting self
esteem and well-being. But if you look at the results,
yes, moral behavior, it means acting morally with your code of
ethics like what you believe is right.
And this is very individual. And that's why I had self
reported morals and they had to write those down and self
reported self respect and self esteem on like a scale of how

(26:01):
much they believed they had before the study started.
But the cool thing about this that I really wanted to point
out why I put this study down isreally just this simple fact
that it didn't matter about competence and social approval.
Meaning it didn't matter if theygot a great result, if they
accomplished the task perfectly,if they checked all the boxes,
if they got the outcome, if theywere successful.

(26:22):
What mattered most in order to increase their self respect was
acting in alignment with their moral values.
So they had moral integrity, which integrity means aligned
with your you follow through with what you said you would do.
You are acting in accordance with your values.
And so these individuals had more self respect if they acted

(26:45):
in alignment with their moral values then if they actually
accomplished a goal or got social approval.
So this is where like I think intoday's world, everybody gets so
offended and triggered and at some point you have to just stop
worrying about what everybody else thinks.
And those who agree with you, those who don't get triggered
easily, which if you, if you gettriggered easily, I think it's

(27:05):
a, it's a insecurity issue. I think it's a it's a problem
because you're not happy and fulfilled and confident enough
in your own self. Morals, values, beliefs,
actions, what you can do all that that you get really
offended by other things. Like most people.
If you're really confident, happy and fulfilled in your
life, you should be able to justsit back and be like, OK,

(27:26):
everybody has their own opinion and, and move on, right?
Well, this is a perfect example because it shows that what
matters more than other people agreeing with you, other people
liking you, other people approving of you.
What matters more than even getting the exact result that
you were after is that you're acting in alignment with your

(27:47):
moral code. And I think shockingly enough,
not enough people actually set moral codes.
They don't sit down and go, whatare the values I want to live by
and act with in accordance with every single day?
Not enough people do that. Not enough people actually
write. Like, ask yourself, do you have
a set of core values that you can list off like most people
don't, and it's kind of sad. I have my own core values.

(28:10):
I'm core values with my staff for my team and my companies,
and I have core values with my family at home.
They're all very similar, there's a few that are on all of
them but they also differ a little bit because it's
different environments. But point being is you should be
setting those for yourself. Study #2 it's called self
respect reduces depression across cultures.

(28:31):
Really cool. The goal was to investigate how
seeing oneself as equal to others.
Self respect effects depression and assertiveness across seven
countries. I believe it was they looked at
2408 people. Self respect, assertiveness,
depression and suicidal thoughtswere measured so 2400 plus

(28:51):
people across seven countries toreally get a wide variety of
different cultures, and then they assessed self respect,
assertiveness, depression and suicidal thoughts.
Findings were that higher self respect related to greater
assertiveness, which is inserting yourself and sticking
up for yourself and giving your honest opinion and being.
You got to think about it in order to assert yourself into a

(29:13):
discussion or a situation. In order to be assertive and be
firm with your decisions and be forward thinking and forward
coming with your thoughts and and your opinions and you know
what you believe matters. You got to be pretty confident.
You have to have a lot of confidence in that.
So it's a good, it's a good thing they measured
assertiveness, but higher self respect related to greater
assertiveness and significantly lower depressive symptoms and

(29:36):
suicidal ideation worldwide. So across all those countries.
And the conclusion from them wasthat self respect plays a
profound role in mental health, offering emotional stability and
resilience in diverse cultures. So it doesn't matter where
you're from, doesn't matter who you are, self respect is going
to play a vital role in your ability to be not just
assertive, giving your thoughts and opinions and standing up for

(29:58):
yourself and acting in alignments with your own value.
If you're assertive, you have a high sense of self worth and
value because you believe that your opinion matters, which is
really, really good, and you don't feel that you're lesser
than other people, which you shouldn't.
But it also significantly lowersyour depression, depressive
symptoms and suicidal thoughts, which is unbelievable.

(30:22):
Like it's, it's so powerful. So self respect reduces
depression across cultures. Now, if you have a high level of
self respect, you've done the work in the other areas.
I want to point that out. So it's not just like, hey, just
start saying you have self respect and it's going to
happen. Self respect is earned, it's not
given. It's very hard to placebo your
way into having a higher level of self respect.

(30:44):
So if you want to have these results that self respect gives
you in a life that is filled with self respect and honor,
then you have to do the work on the front end.
You have to do the things that require taking actions that
require self-control. You have to develop
self-discipline. You have to create self belief
through discipline and taking control and having self-control

(31:06):
in building results because results are proof.
Proof creates confidence. Confidence is self belief.
And then eventually you can really start to create this
level of self respect, but really, really huge.
And then the last study I pulledfor this one, it's called self
respect underlies Psychological well-being.
And the goal was to define self respect as dignity, autonomy and
integrity and assess its contribution to growth and

(31:29):
well-being. Experts tie and this is how they
did it. The experts tied philosophical
and psychological research into self respects impact on
autonomy, boundaries and life purpose.
This one is a this isn't as muchlike let's take some groups.
This is AI would I believe it would be called a theory based

(31:51):
study, similar to some meta analysis or this way.
But essentially they're taking alot of information that is in
science, in literature, stuff like that, and they're creating
a theory. OK, so this isn't like we have
two groups. We're going to put them through
a test, but it's a really good one.
And there's a reason why I brought it into this and the
insights they took away from this, where that self respect is
linked to healthy boundaries, reduced external comparison and

(32:14):
stronger self-care. And so their recommendation from
what they research and put together in this theory was that
building self respect involves aligning actions with personal
values consistently. And so once again, and This is
why I took that one, is because I wanted to pull studies that
just showed how important valuesare.
If you don't have personal values, you don't have your core
being and character of what you represent, you know, there's,

(32:37):
there's different ways to identify yourself and your
personal identity comes down to both what you are, what you do,
and what you stand for, right? So what I am is a father, a
Christian, a business like I am those things.
What I do is I coach, I empower,I inspire, I develop people like

(33:01):
that is the action I do. And what I stand for is #1
everything I'm talking about here, hard work, I stand for
hard work. I stand for being a servant
liver. I'm, I live a servant life
essentially. Like I represent somebody who
and I identify with somebody whospends their time and their life
committed to helping others, even my free time.

(33:24):
Like that's what I do. That's what I want to do with my
time. That's what I believe life is
about. But that's what I identify as.
These are my personal identities, right?
There's and there's numerous, but you have to understand, you
know what you are, what you do, and what you stand for.
That gives you a sense of personal identity.
And with that personal identity,you can create core values that

(33:46):
determine that, right? I know my personal core values 1
is going to be influence and specifically influences for me
and how I've defined in my core values is when I'm in a room, am
I influencing people for the better or worse.
My goal is to have a positive influence on a daily basis.
I want to influence the people I'm around, the people I can

(34:06):
come in contact with and make sure that their life is better
because they ran into me or talkto me than when I got there.
It should never get worse. If it's going to get worse, if
I'm there, I'm not going to involve myself because that my
core value is to only make people's lives better, right?
Being a go giver, that's one of my core values.
Serving others everyday. How am I giving to somebody?
How am I serving somebody? I have to live in alignment with

(34:27):
that work ethic. Hard work like that is a core
value of mine. Did I put in a full effort in
what I am doing? That is a core value.
It's a value that means a lot tome, right?
So I have multiple, but you haveto have those because when you
understand that you're going to have a life that is so much more

(34:48):
impactful inward and outwardly, internally and externally,
inward, outward, you're going tobe able to impact people better.
You're going to impact yourself better.
You're going to have better mental health.
You're going to have clarity on your vision of life and what you
want. You're going to know how to act.
It acts like a lens. You have a lens in front of you
that literally shows you how to show up and handle each

(35:10):
situation. Because you can say, I don't
know if I'm going to accomplish the result that we need to get,
but I know how I need to to do this because as long as I act in
alignment with what I know is right, if I'm going into this
situation, am I giving my all? Am I, you know, being positive
and optimistic and influencing those around me to do the same?
Am I doing using this to serve others and help people?

(35:33):
Like if I'm doing those things, no matter what, the outcome's
going to be good because I'm going to be aligned with my core
values. And it's this is earned.
So like, again, those are the studies.
But This is why it's so important for us to understand
the stuff. And the studies are there to
paint the picture of facts so that we can move away from our
feelings because our feelings are what will prevent us from

(35:54):
acting in alignment with our core values often times, right?
So it's really, really important.
Now the last part of this is practical steps, but what can we
do? What are some strategies you can
use in order to start working towards building self respect?
Number one is to go through the process again, I'm going to
like, I usually don't do this this often in a podcast, so I
apologize, but go listen to the other episodes if you haven't

(36:16):
already, right? Like reach out to us, click the
links in the description. We have coaching that does this.
We don't just do nutrition and fitness coaching.
If you struggle with this, this is what we do.
This is what the tailored coaching community is all about.
We help people transform their body and their mind because we
know that's what's important. AI can do a whole bunch of

(36:36):
stuff. You can write you a meal plan
your macros, probably go groceryshopping for you, but it can't
help you shift your mindset. It can't help you develop this
level of self respect and and create a new standard for your
personal identity and develop core values.
It can't do that. We can help you do that, humans.
But step one, go listen to thoseother parts because they're

(36:58):
really, really important. And if you struggle with it,
even after doing so, which I'll be honest, most of us do, we all
have coaches. I have a coach.
Reach out first strategy to think about to clarify your
values. If you don't have 3 to 5 core
values set in stone for you personally, do that first and
foremost. The first action step to to do

(37:19):
when working towards gaining a ahigher level of self respect and
self worth is going to be to write 3 to 5 core values down.
This should be for you personally before you go and
create some for your family, some for your business, if
you're a business owner or anything else.
Create personal core values, no less than three, no more than
five, and try to act in alignment with those every day.

(37:42):
And at the end of each day or first thing in the morning,
write about the the day before or at the end of the day, write
about the day of in journal. Did you act in alignment with
these goals or with these values?
And if you did, how? Create 3 to 5 core values, no
less than three, no more than five in journal every day,
whether or not you acted in alignment.

(38:04):
If you did, when did you act in alignment?
How did you do so? Give an example.
If you didn't act in alignment, when did you not and how didn't
you? Because you need to understand
what kind of actions and what kind of way to respond and show
up to situations in life or in alignment and have integrity

(38:24):
with your core values. Strategy number two, act
consistently even when in private.
Commit to 1 personal standard, like handling conflict with
honesty or with poise or equanimity and staying calm or
something like that. And check in on a daily in your
journal or with a coach. You know, all these can be done
with the coach. They can be with the journal if
you don't have a coach. But the point is, is commit to 1

(38:45):
personal standard. So based on your values, commit
to a standard each day, right? Or it could be once a week.
So this week I am going to be more organized and planned, OK,
journal and check in on this every single day.
Did you do it this week? I'm going to.
I'm not going to respond abruptly.
I'm not going to react to anything.
I'm going to respond calmly and collectively to every situation,

(39:06):
be that in work or at home, whatever it may be.
OK, if that's your goal and yourpersonal standard you're
creating right there is responding in a certain way and
conducting yourself with equanimity.
If that's aligned with your values.
Perfect. Journal about each day, check
in. Did you do it strategy #3 say no
strategically. This one is probably going to be

(39:27):
the most difficult for most people.
Most of us are people pleasers. We want to live in the grey.
This is one of the biggest issues I've had in my life is
just living in the grey and not wanting to tell people no and
just be like, yeah, soon. And it just causes more
problems. And people don't respect people
who live in the grey. And you don't respect yourself
when you do it either. And I can say first hand, I've
done that too many times. And that was a big shift for me

(39:48):
this year. That really helped to be honest
with you, because I hate tellingpeople no.
I hate, I hate giving a definitive no answer.
I want to tell everybody yes. But here's what you're going to
do is identify at least one boundary and reinforce it
clearly. Holding your boundaries is a
great way to build self respect.Now you can do this by setting a
boundary with others. So maybe there's a relationship

(40:11):
boundary or a work. Professional to personal
relationship boundary you need to set or whatever it may be.
Or it can be a boundary like you're not going to create
shortcuts in the gym. My boundary is like when I go to
the gym, I'm going to finish thewhole workout, right?
Or I spend too much time in the gym.
So if I don't finish my workout within this time frame, I'm
going to go home because I'm setting a boundary between the

(40:31):
gym and my personal life. And I'm going to choose my
personal life 1st. I'm going to choose my family
first. OK, so set boundaries in your
life and then stick to them and again check in with it in a
journal or with a coach. Honor moral actions.
This is #4 celebrate ethical behavior that you that you have
and show up and, and express whether it's speaking up or or

(40:53):
helping others with yourself or in an accountability
relationship of some kind, you are going to celebrate this
celebrating wins, celebrating victories, celebrating correct
actions, moral behaviors. This is a good way to develop
self belief and self respect. So when you have a situation and
you act very ethically and aligned with your values, you

(41:14):
need to celebrate, acknowledge it.
This goes back to number one. And two, clarify your values and
then act in alignment with them and actually journal about it.
And if you do this, let's say that you set boundaries, you
have your values and you're journaling about acting in it.
And you do that every day of themonth.
You do it 30 days in a row, you act in alignment with it and you
have journals of every day of when these situations were

(41:35):
celebrate it. You need to celebrate this
ethical behavior because praisedhabits, praised actions get
repeated. OK #5 then we got one more after
this. Number 5 is cultivate
assertiveness. Practice politely advocating for
yourself, whether in requests orrejecting what violates your

(41:56):
core values. So making sure you're basically
rooting for yourself. You're, you're sticking up for
yourself. You're having a difficult
conversation. You're putting the note down,
you're putting your hand in, you're saying like, Hey, I think
this, I don't think this is fair.
Hey, I don't think that's how itshould go.
Hey, I deserve better than that.Hey, I, this bugs me and I want

(42:17):
to have a conversation about whatever it may be.
You just stick up for yourself. It is literally just sticking up
for yourself. Cultivate assertiveness by
sticking up for yourself. And, and, and really just
advocating for yourself and do it, if you do it with alignment
to your core values, it's going to be done in the right way.
It's probably going to be done respectfully and politely.
And then the last one is going to be reflect on integrity

(42:38):
journal instances where you acted true to your values, you
were in alignment with your moral behaviors and, and what
you see and deem as proper or good and acknowledge how it
makes you feel. So it's just a further
elaboration in the journaling process.
And as you can see, there's a lot of that because I think the
reflection piece of this is so important, but acknowledging

(43:00):
your actions and how they align,not just the action itself.
And this goes back to self belief.
If you want to translate confidence and self belief from
I'm a mother of four and I'm confident in that, but I'm not
confident in fat loss. OK, the only way to make sure
that you can translate this level of confidence from
motherhood to fat loss, and thisis based on research I went over
in the self belief study is to reflect on the insights, the

(43:23):
lessons, the traits, the behaviors, the the morals, the
values, the characteristics, theskills that being a mother
skillfully in mastering that hasdeveloped in you.
So if that has mastered patience, it has helped you
master consistency. It has helped you master
organization. Those those are traits and
skills that can be applied to fat loss and make you extremely
successful. But you have to 1st see that

(43:45):
that's a transferable trait or skill to make it really matter.
So this right here when I'm saying reflect on integrity,
don't just reflect on the situation of I did this and that
was showing a lot of positive influence.
OK, but what about it connected to the positive influence and
why it's influencing them positively and what might that

(44:07):
lead to? What could that do for them
after they leave that situation?Why did that matter so much?
And when you attach yourself andink yourself to that level of
meaning to the situation, that'swhen you win.
OK, so this concludes the Cell Formation 4 part series.
I'm very happy with how this turned out.

(44:28):
I hope you are too. Please, please, please share
this with a friend. This is really important that
people understand. I, I truly believe that this is
this is the kind of stuff that can change our world and change
our lives and change the people around us for the better.
And we can all live better livesas better human beings, as the
best version of ourselves and reach our potential if we just
understand this, this process. Everybody benefits from having

(44:49):
more self-control, self-discipline, self belief and
self respect. I appreciate you so much for
listening. Leave a five star rating review
If this helped you in any way, shape or form.
Share this with a friend and I will catch you next time.
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