#69 - Jason Khalipa on Fitness, Fatherhood, & Building Resilience in Life & Business - Choose Hard with Cody McBroom

Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
Welcome to the Choose Hard podcast.
I'm your host, Code Mcbroom. I am a father, husband, coach,
and entrepreneur whose sole lifemission is to serve others and
help them build their best life possible.
And the first step in doing thatis Choosing Hard.
Today's guest is the one and only Jason Khalipa.
Jason Khalipa is a honestly justa phenomenal human being.
He has a long list of reasons why he's qualified for this

(00:21):
podcast and to help guide you and teach you how to be a better
person in your life. He is a former CrossFit Games
athlete, not just an athlete, but a champion who literally won
the CrossFit Games. He is somebody who is a father
and a husband as well. He is somebody who has a
daughter who went through and isstill fighting through the
ramifications of leukemia and therefore he became a
philanthropist and started to really pursue a passion for

(00:41):
helping children with leukemia. He is somebody who helps with
law enforcement, Border Patrol, military soldiers.
He is a gym owner who opened up numerous gyms and survived COVID
pushing through the most difficult time to be a business
owner in the state of California.
He also is an online app and business owner.
I mean, the list goes on. The dude is an athlete, he is a
coach, he is a leader, he is an entrepreneur, he is a father,

(01:03):
husband, and just so he's so good at life and he's so good at
pursuing a greater life and a greater potential.
And something he said today was that he can't rest his head on
his pillow at night if he doesn't know that he really
pushed to fulfill his full potential that day.
And I think that is such a good testament to the type of person
he is and the type of value you're going to get.
Today. We're going to talk about what
choosing hard means to him. We're going to talk about his

(01:24):
story and his struggles and pursuing being an athlete, being
an entrepreneur, being somebody who's fighting through COVID,
who is still a father and a verypresent father at that, who has
a loving wife in marriage that has been going on for, I
believe, over like 20 years almost.
He met his wife at 15, I believehe said it was.
And so they haven't been marriedsince he's been 15, but he's
almost 40. So he's had a partner that is
committed and he has committed to for a long time.

(01:46):
I mean, the guy can teach you a lot and he's going to teach you
a lot. Today's podcast.
I'm very, very excited for you to listen this one, especially
for the dads out there and the entrepreneurs.
I think you're going to get so much value out of this episode
today. So without any further ado,
let's get on to this conversation with the one and
only former CrossFit Games athlete, entrepreneur and
father, husband and leader of today's world, Jason Khalifa.

(02:07):
The greatest things in life all start with a challenge You.
Must accept that everything is hard before it gets easy.
Every, every, every everything you.
Want in life? Begins with a hard path.
Begins with a. All right, Jason Khalifa, man, I
am excited to have you on the show because, man, it's so
funny. I initially heard your name from

(02:27):
some of the guys at Jocko Fuel when I was hanging with them.
And I started digging through your content and I see Train
hard everywhere and the podcast is called Choose Hard.
That's our brand. And I'm like, this is so, so
similar. This is so cool.
And then I realized we had more and more mutual friends.
I actually started going throughmore of your podcasts and there
was a few people that you've hadon the show that I've had on

(02:47):
that I'm good friends with. And I was like, this is this is
too cool. So I'm excited to have you on
dive into your story and really just allow you to share with the
listeners what you're so passionate about, man.
I think you do an amazing job atreally leading from the front,
dude. Like year after year after year.
The more I go back, it's like, man, you have just been the
example and I love it so much, dude.
So I'm really excited to have you on the podcast, brother.

(03:09):
Thank you. Thank you.
Yeah. I mean, look, I'm.
I'm trying, man. I I try and live by a code.
I try and treat people right. I try and I train hard.
I try and show up the best I canas a husband, as a father, and
it's not easy and I'm not perfect, but I'm really, really
working on it. And I'm trying to create a brand
and a group of people who want to be able to do the same thing.
And I'm trying to be held accountable.

(03:31):
You know, every week I host freemen's club workouts in a parking
lot. And that's a really good
opportunity for me just to, to know that, hey, the work I'm
doing, it matters. And these guys are going to call
me out if I'm, if I'm not leading in the right way or not
showing up as the right husband or, or, or father.
So yeah, man, fired up to be here down to chat about
whatever, but I just want to seeguys, you know, my, my main

(03:51):
focus in life right now, aside from obviously being a dad and a
husband, is to help men realize that life is going to be hard.
Like that's the prerequisite. It's going to be hard.
And what is in our control is tobe physically and mentally
prepared to overcome those challenges.
And I believe fitness is the greatest tool to help us get

(04:14):
there. Like you lose your job, go work
out, having a problem, go work out.
It doesn't matter. It's not going to solve all your
problems, but I think it'll help.
That's what I want to talk. About so it's so good.
Yeah, it's it's funny. I have I have a tattoo on my
wrist. I mean I'm covered and I'm so
it's one of many, but it says live the code and it's facing me
'cause it's a reminder every single day to live by my code.
And it's very similar. And another similarity.

(04:37):
I used to make these shirts for clients.
This is probably 10 years ago. It said your body is the fastest
path to power on the back because it was like the exact
same thing. I started seeing all these
clients change their life in so many non fitness related ways,
but I was just a trainer, you know, and it but it just does so
much more. So let's go back to the
beginning first, 'cause I reallywant to paint the picture of, of

(04:57):
where you come from and what you've done because you're man,
your, your resume is just phenomenal and you've done so
much athletically and as as a business owner as well.
So if we can go back to the beginning of your CrossFit
journey, kind of fill us in first with, you know, how did
you get started in a CrossFit And at what point did you
realize that or decide I guess that you wanted to go and become

(05:19):
a CrossFit game champion? Yeah, yeah.
So I started off in the fitness space really young.
I was 15, so yeah, you know, a little bit more about me.
I met my wife at 14. I started my first job at 15 and
I've had the same job and careerand the same girlfriend and wife
since then. So I'm a very, I guess simple in

(05:39):
that in that sense, my passion for fitness started to grow over
time. And I ended up going from
working at the front desk to then sales to then eventually
opening my own gym. And then from there, I opened
many gyms and, and that evolved,but in 2006, I was introduced to
CrossFit while working at the conventional gym.
And at the time, you know, I, I was, I was, I'd graduate from

(06:02):
high school, I was in college and I wasn't playing sports.
I thought I was going to, but I just didn't apply myself well.
And I didn't end up getting the,the scholarship I thought I'd be
able to. And so I was selling gym
memberships, introduced to CrossFit, fell in love with the
idea of like a coach and complexity and, and pushing
myself. And at the time, I've been doing
Muay Thai before that and just got fired up.

(06:26):
So I ended up doing CrossFit forthe next couple years, ended up
competing the CrossFit Games because they're really close to
my home here in California. I won the CrossFit Games and
just basically spun this whole thing.
So for the next 10 years, I basically competed profession in
CrossFit, open gyms, taught seminars for CrossFit, met with
all the coaches in the world that I could to learn how to get

(06:46):
better at my sport. And then along that journey, I
had two children. I got married and that's kind of
what I did from 2006 to 2000 and1617.
At that point, my daughter got sick with leukemia and I ended
up pivoting away from the sport just wasn't a priority at the
time. And I found jiu jitsu right

(07:06):
around that same time. And that's been phenomenal as
well. So I've been doing that for a
long time. And yeah, anyways, I, I, I can
keep talking about this, but that's, that's kind of how it's
spun, right? I fell in love with the business
side of, of fitness. I fell in love with changing
people's lives. And I've done that in many
different ways from corporate Wellness, we have locations all
over the world to brick and mortar gyms.

(07:27):
And now through Train Hard, really trying to help men train
hard so they can protect and provide.
Man, it's, you know, what's coolis that there's a lot of people
who go into in, you know, professionals of any sport and
it's not until they're done withthe sport before they either a
unfortunately have nothing and it actually like kind of

(07:48):
cripples them because they don'tknow what to do.
That's what they identify as or they shift and they use their
athletic competitiveness towardsentrepreneurship.
But it sounds like, you know, one of my questions was going to
be what was that shift like? But for you, it seems like I
mean you are an entrepreneur as an athlete the whole entire
time. Well, I had to be right because
back in 2008 when I, when I graduated from College in 2008,

(08:11):
I knew I was going to own a gym and I knew it and competing in
CrossFit, like I didn't do it for money, fame.
I didn't, there was no money andfame, right?
I think the year I won the CrossFit Games, I ended up
taking second and third later and did some more stuff as the
years went on. But in the beginning, it's so
funny, I won like $2000 in 2008.In 2014, I took second or third

(08:37):
and second. In 2013, I, I won hundreds of
thousands of dollars, right? So it's funny how it works,
right? Like when I first got introduced
to it, there was, there was justno money.
So I had to pursue business to provide for myself.
And that just continued, right? So as the sport grew and the
sponsorship money grew, I wasn'tgoing to give up the business.
And yeah, it was just something I was always passionate about.

(09:00):
I wanted to always try and buildsomething special and and create
jobs for people and that's evolved over the years.
You know, with the philanthropy work you do, obviously there's
and I mean it, it shows in your CrossFit career, it shows in
what you do for a living and business and stuff.
And I think most people in fitness have to have a little
bit of this, but it seems like you do a really good job of

(09:22):
pursuing career paths and business, you know, ventures and
opportunities based on serious purpose, right?
Like what is really, really meaningful for you?
And I think a lot of people struggle to find their purpose
in life. Like did that come natural or
like what advice do you have forpeople that need because you not
everybody can just, you know, drop what they're doing and go
chase their passion. It it is a slow process,

(09:44):
obviously, and you've been doingit since, you know, I think you
said 1415 years old, which is awesome.
But what I mean what keeps it you tied to all these different
things from a purpose perspective?
Yeah, I mean, from a purpose perspective, so, you know, I'm
in the fitness space. I obviously believe that fitness
is this gateway to everything else.
And I I really believe that because I've seen it work in my

(10:06):
life in so many different ways. The philanthropic work that we
do primarily revolves around pediatric cancer because that's
something that's like, like that's something that's on a
whole different level with me. I do a lot of work in that
space. We don't talk about, you know,
because it's just it's for that and some other work I do.
It's not like about likes and clicks.
It's about deep resonating mission to help families going

(10:30):
through it because I've seen that dark side.
So those are things you just called me.
And I think that if you're someone out there and something
else I do, I do a lot of work with military law enforcement.
And again, most of the work I dowith law enforcement is, is just
to support. Some of it is on contract for
our companies, but it's because I have a deep passion to try and

(10:50):
help law enforcement become fitter 'cause I think that they
need more training and not less.So these are things they just
call to me organically and I find ways to pursue them.
And I think that if someone's sitting there and they have a
nine to five job and they're working at, you know, a tech
startup or whatever it is, right?
And maybe their passion isn't asan engineer, maybe their passion
is, you name the passion, right?Faith, fitness, construction,

(11:16):
you name it, I think there's a way that you could start to
slow, slowly pursue it to get that sense of purpose and
fulfillment without giving up this career and stability
slowly. And the reason why I say that is
that if someone has a family, they have obligations.
They need to be aware of that. If you're a single dude and you
have no kids and no obligations,you should be pursuing your your

(11:38):
passions. You should be diving in.
But once you have a family, I think you just need to be a
little bit more cautious. So you should pursue them in a
way that allows you to earn the confidence that you feel ready
one day to make that full leap, but not do it foolishly, you
know, do it after you feel like,all right, man, I'm like, I'm
like, right there. I'm right on the cusp at that
point. Boom, make the move.
You won't regret it. Yeah, I love that man.

(12:00):
I love that you, you even mentioned the things you do
behind the scenes, because I do think that I mean it honestly,
it just shows even more purpose and passion behind it because
you don't need to get the likes from other people to continue
doing it. And it's, it's similar to me.
And since I actually open up thegym for law enforcement officers
all around here, once a week they come in, they train.
And part of it too is like, I mean, there's a couple guys that

(12:22):
have come, they can't show theirface because they're actually
undercover drug union in this area.
So it's like you can't have Instagram stuff going on anyway.
But it, it is, it's, you know, this is kind of a, this is kind
of a, a odd question nowadays, unfortunately, I guess, but I
live in Washington state. You live in California still
still, I believe, right. So similar, very similar on in

(12:44):
many spectrums. There's a lot of craziness going
on in California, especially right now towards LA.
It's it's pretty wild. And you've stayed so true to
your beliefs, which I share through and through.
And that alone is a it's almost a risk for a business owner, you
know, And when you, when you talk about like doing things
cautiously because you have a family that you got to pray for,

(13:07):
does that cross your mind as well of like, man, this
unfortunately, this, these are somewhat controversial,
especially when you have a lot of eyes on you and, and what,
what allowed you to continue doing things that you know are
right, despite the potential pushback you could get in
today's world? Yeah, I mean, I've had to learn
like, you're not going to make everybody happy.
You just have to follow like what feels right to you and do

(13:27):
it with, you know, there's nuance to everything.
And I think that there's perspective to everything.
Like if you put out a message online and then you have a
conversation with someone, like chances are if you're together
in person, you probably agree onmore things you don't, right?
I live in a very liberal part ofCalifornia, the Bay Area, and I
have people that are as liberal as you can get.
And I have people that are as conservative as you can get.

(13:48):
And, you know, I'd like to thinkthat I try and keep an open mind
and just have good conversationswith good people and that more
times than not, we agree on mostthings.
And, you know, I, I think that this idea, the pendulum shifted
so far that about law enforcement, the perspective
people had on them and they don't realize like, dude, what
are you doing? Like law enforcement needs more

(14:10):
training, more support, better officers, better candidates,
better training, not worse because it's just going to be
this vicious cycle that gets worse.
Like, for example, I do work with a lot of different
organizations. I just got back with Customs and
Border Protection. And if they don't have the
necessary people to fill roles, let's just say NYPD for example,

(14:32):
they're a great example. Every year they're hiring 2500
new law enforcement officers. Well, and these are give or
take, and historically they'll have 10,000 applicants for these
2500 spots. Well, now if they're only
getting 5000 applicants because people don't want to be law
enforcement, what type of quality are we going to get?
Then all of a sudden they're reducing the standard because

(14:52):
they can't get enough people whocould pass the mile and a half
run. So now they reduce it from a 12
minute time to a 20 minute time.I'm using those as hypotheticals
and it creates this vicious planwhere now you're getting people
in law enforcement who I I don'twant to go off on the long
tangent here. I just think that we as a
society need to sit back and say, hey, law enforcement, just

(15:14):
like every other job, there's going to be better and worse
people and they're going to be some really bad people and they
should be punished for that. But at the same time, there's a
lot of really good law enforcement that are trying to
really help people, and we need to try and support as much as
possible to get as many people into the funnel as we can to
have the best people. And one of the things that I'm
focused on is teaching them thattheir command presence can do a

(15:37):
lot. How do you get so strong, so
fit, so capable that you don't have to escalate to extreme
firearms or Tasers? You could just walk up to
someone and be confident becauseyou know, you've trained.
So that's what I'm focused on. I love that perspective.
Have you seen there's these actually made it real that
there's a clip in it's, I believe the FBI, but it it's

(15:59):
talking about the the most notorious sex offenders in the
country and the first thing theylook at is the father to see if
they're a threat. I I would imagine and you've
been around law enforcement, military way more than me.
So you'd probably have a good perspective on this.
I would imagine that doesn't just apply to sex offenders
looking for children. It it probably applies to every
kind of criminal who is looking to make sure that they're going

(16:22):
to be able to succeed in what they're trying to do.
I mean, it happens all the time.You know, you'll, you'll hear
stories. And this is like, this is very,
very, very true. So just the other day, I was
actually in the Alameda County Jail and I was working with the
Sheriff's Department and I'm walking around and command
presence, especially for probation officers, for all

(16:44):
these people that deal with different people.
You know, if you're a criminal or if you're anybody and you
look at someone and they look like they're well taken care of,
right? They're taking care of
themselves. They walk with confidence.
Their shoulders are back, they're less of a threat or
they're less of a, you're going to look to them and be like, all
right, man, I'm going to move onto the next person.
And that's pretty much what the sex offender was talking about
was there's a famous clip right,where the guy is looking at the

(17:06):
parents and what he's looking for is a sign of weakness.
And So what I try and teach my kids, like when they're walking
around, walk with confidence, right?
Don't be sitting there on your phone.
A lot of it can all be circuit, you know, A lot of it could just
be removed just by having that awareness and presence.
And when you work with law enforcement who look a certain
way, they tend to have easier engagements with people because

(17:30):
everybody's just calming down. What happens is if you're a law
enforcement officer who's not very comfortable with your
skills and someone is kind of mouthing off and being a jerk,
then all of a sudden it's like you start freaking out a little
bit. And I'd be freaking out if I was
like, not comfortable with my skills, and it just escalates
the situation. But when I come across law
enforcement or people on the street who are very capable,

(17:52):
they're the most kind, compassionate, loving people I
know. And that's what I want for my
son as well. What got you into, do you have
law enforcement, family, were you prior military or anything
like that? Like what got you into that
world 'cause you seem pretty tied into it.
Yeah, yeah, I'm actually, I'm, I'm waiting for the Academy to
open up. I'm going to go get my reserve

(18:12):
and donate my time once a month to for combatives and fitness
and and maybe firearms too if I get deeper into that.
But anyways, I think it's just this I'm I'm very interested in
my local community. When I first started the men's
club two years ago, my, my interest in speaking with my

(18:33):
local chief of police was I justsaid, I said, listen Jamie, if
shit's going down our city and we need capable people, I want
to help. And so I want to go.
If I have to call the police, I want someone who's very capable
to arrive and I want to be able to provide them the tools from a
fitness perspective to help themget there.

(18:53):
And that was like my initial stuff that I started doing this
was probably 15 years ago. I originally started working
with law enforcement. OK, cool.
Yeah, it's, it's interesting, man.
I, I have AI have a lot of, I'vemarried into a a lot of police
officers. And so my wife's family there's,
there's numerous. And before that I didn't have
any real ties or experience or anything.

(19:15):
And as you know, we had a huge defund the police movement in
Washington state as well. And it was just really crazy out
here and hearing the stories from them, what they had to go
through during that time was it was crazy.
And this is I actually coming from somebody who I, I actually,
when I was in my early, early 20s, I got jumped and a, a cop
showed up and left me there and I almost died.
It was a, it was a very traumatic experience.

(19:36):
And it was an example of, of a police officer who wasn't great.
But oddly enough, I never had a bad perspective on police
officers, which is really weird because I was young, I wasn't, I
didn't really understand my values as a man.
Yet I was, I think I was literally 20 years old and I had
this terrible experience, yet itnever really took me to a place
where I would ever want to defund the police or do anything

(19:57):
negative. It actually got me more curious
about law and, and then I met mywife and then I met her family
and I was able to ask them questions and then they were
able to, which was really cool. To your point, they were asking
me questions about my experienceso they could learn from it
because they were really good humans and good examples of what
police officers are and that most of the time that is
absolutely the case 90. Percent, most of the time, most

(20:19):
of the time. And yeah, I, I, I, I think for,
as a dad, you know, for all the dads listening, I think, I think
being fit and capable is, is such a benefit to you and your
family, right? You could walk around with
confidence. You could feel like if your kid
and we talked about this idea ofprotect and provide.
And I think sometimes people misinterpret what I'm talking

(20:39):
about when I use the word protect.
I mean, can you run, jump, climband lift your kids?
Can you, if your kid is running in the street and they're three
years old, can you run after them and grab them?
If not, I think we have some work to do.
Can you pick them up? Can you whatever?

(20:59):
And I, I think that that's the foundation, the framework that I
want every man to be able to do.And then obviously you could
layer on top of that. Can you defend yourself?
But I think that's very rare case, you know, like the chances
of you and I getting into a physical altercation.
So slim, right? But the chances of us having to,
I mean, I've had to run after a kid that's going somewhere they
shouldn't. I've had to go pick up a kid and
go do something. But I've had, you know, I mean,

(21:21):
I'm a grown man. I, I should not be getting in a
fight and I surely should not behaving to pull out a firearm 99
point gazillion times of the day.
So the, the when I think about protect, it's, it's your ability
to have the physical capability to do those tasks.
Yeah, I would agree 100%. You know, something you said on
a podcast was actually man, one of the first, it might have been

(21:42):
the very first podcast I ever heard you on and I believe it
was Nick Bears podcast. You said something that really,
really hit and stuck with me more than probably any advice
I've heard about being a father and I've and I want to let you
know I've given it to many people.
I've said it on the podcast and given you credit.
I've told. I actually was just telling one

(22:04):
of my buddies who is a police officer, they were over at my
house with their kids as well. And I shared it with him and it
hit him really hard. And, and it was talking about
hard work and it was talking about allowing your kids to
watch you work hard because mostpeople today, and I'm 100%
guilty of this because of what Ido for a living now, I'm not in
the gym anymore. I run a business, I have a gym,

(22:24):
I have a location, but we don't have public people.
It's all online. And so I come to office.
And so as far as my daughter's concerned, it's just the words
Daddy works hard, right? And so it really influenced me
to start bringing her to the gymmore so she could see me train
it. It actually even influenced me,
funny enough, to build stuff anddo all like, we're not hiring
landscape nearly as much more 'cause I'm like, I'm gonna

(22:45):
figure out how to do all this, 'cause I want her to see me
sweat my ass off in the backyardgetting it done so she can just
see that some forms of pain are OK Hard work and grueling.
Like getting through it is, is OK.
Do you think that this is a big piece of the the it's not
necessarily what allows you to protect, but I want to say it's,
it's kind of like the whole don't fish for them, show them

(23:06):
how to fish kind of I butchered that, but you know what I mean?
Do you feel like that's a big part of what you're trying to do
with these men? Well, I think that the provide
piece is kind of what you're talking about too, where when I
talk about provide, I mean, I mean financially for sure, but I
mean experiences, you know, I put up a poster today like I, I,
I will never, ever like this is my commitment to myself.

(23:27):
I will never allow my fitness toinhibit my ability to go do
something with my kids period. Like I refuse to let that
happen. If my child, like my daughter
loves to play water polo, I jumpin the pool with her and I do
it. My son likes to play everything.
I go and do it. And I will never not have, you
know, it just to physically not be able to go do something if

(23:49):
your child wants to go do it. It's so much in your control
right now. Again, there's nuance and
exceptions here. If you are, you know, if you're
going through a medical condition or whatever, of course
there's exceptions. But in general, if you're a
healthy individual, what's in your control is to go and train
hard. Say you could go do things with
your kids. And when you're traveling with

(24:10):
your family and you want to go hike to waterfall, you should be
able to do it. And if one of your kids gets
tired, you should be able to carry them on your shoulders.
And that's the inspiration. And so when it comes to what
you're talking about, especiallyin the Bay Area, you have a lot
of very wealthy people, very wealthy, who are engineers who
go to work. They work behind a computer.

(24:31):
But children don't understand what that means, right?
So if you say, hey, dad's, dad'sworking hard, Well, OK, like, is
this working hard? I'm having a conversation with
you. This is great, right?
But this is what I do as a part of my work.
And so kids can't really connectthis idea of like hard work
behind a computer and the work that they need to do at school.

(24:51):
But when they come out and they know that every morning at six
AMI got a group of guys traininghard in the garage and they see
everybody sweating, busting their ass.
They realize like that's what hard work is and how did and
that applies to everything else I do during the day.
So that's why I think it's so valuable to train in front of
your kids and just do hard things in front of your kids.
And I also think it's really important to expose your

(25:12):
children to hard things. I mean, I think micro doses of
adversity are so important to expose our children to and it's
scary and it's it's it's uncomfortable, but I think it's
absolutely necessary and I thinkfitness is the best way to do
that. Can you give provide an example

(25:33):
of this is a conversation my wife and I had not too long ago.
We grew up with completely different childhoods, and there
was a lot more adversity and hard things I had to deal with
and I went through than she did.And it's like this delicate
balance of I want to protect, like, you know, just shelter and
spoil my daughter so much. But I also want her to work for

(25:53):
things. I also want her to experience
some of the hard stuff that I went through because that's what
allowed me to be who I am today.And so like, do you have an
example or a good way of explaining this to guys that
kind of go through that same thing?
How old is your daughter? She's 7.
Seven, yeah. So it's a good age.
It's a really good age now. I think that if we are lucky

(26:15):
enough that our children have not gone through a lot of
adversity, that's a huge blessing.
And that's the Step 1. So like, if you look at your
children's life and you say, dude, they had a, they have a
pretty smooth life. They have a roof over their
shoulders or over their head. They have, you know, all the
food they want. They have loving parents that
are compassionate and caring. And like, our children have gone

(26:35):
through life pretty smooth. Like, I think if you could say
that, dude, huge, huge win for you and congratulations, right?
That's major. But the reality is that as your
kids get older, it's not going to remain that way.
They're going to have a relationship that goes wrong.
They're going to have their heart broken.
They're going to go to work and have a bad boss.
They're going to have a tough exam and fail it.
They're going to have these, these things are going to come

(26:56):
up in life. It's going to happen inevitably.
And what I think we could do as parents is better prepare them
to learn that when something does go wrong, here's the tools,
overcome it. And I think that fitness and
sports are phenomenal ways. So my, my son's a huge baseball
player. There's no better sport in my
opinion than that. And golf to learn how to like

(27:16):
bounce back. Because dude, you know, if you
strike out what, 70% of the timeand you, if you, if you, if
you're batting averages basically at 30% of time, if you
do something good, you're like Hall of Famer or whatever in, in
baseball, it's all about how canyou bounce back from failure.
And I think that that's a lot todo with life.
And so I think exposing through sports, exposing through like a

(27:37):
little bit of fitness, even it'sa 10 minute workout, just
something basic, having them do something that maybe they don't
really want to do. But as they push through it,
they learn that like through grit and determination, that's
how I would expose my children to it.
And, and again, my kids are different.
You know, my daughter spent my daughter's had more adversity in
her life than than most adults. And we we treat her as such,

(27:59):
right? Because she's had to overcome so
many challenges, whereas my son hasn't.
And so we use sports and, and other things to to accommodate
that. And I think that the reason why
I like fitness and sports is because we kind of manage them,
right? Like, I don't want your daughter
to have to go through anything. That's a real adversity.
I don't want her to have to do that.

(28:20):
But maybe we could get her to doa few burpees and learn how to
overcome it. You know what I'm saying?
Yeah. Yeah.
Can I ask what age was your daughter when she started
experiencing this? Experiencing this and like how
long has it been and where she'sat now?
So she got diagnosed at 5, She's14 now.
But so you know, leukemia, you get treated for about 3 years

(28:41):
and during that time, like it's not ideal.
And then after that for five years, you're, you're not cured
yet until five years later. And then since then, there's
been some stuff that's, that's been really, really challenging
just as byproducts of a lot of the other stuff before.
So, you know, for her, what I try and focus on is, is you
don't. And as you're, as you, as girls

(29:02):
get older, man, it's hard. It's it's really hard.
It's hard when they're like 12/13/14 girls are mean man and,
and having them, you know, all Icould do is like be loving, be
caring, show them an example of a type of man that I think they
should look for. And but yeah, dude, it's, it's,
it's, it's hard. So the adversity she goes
through is in relationships and all kinds of stuff.

(29:24):
But then also obviously I try and work with her on
self-defense. I think that's really important
for women in particular. Do you, do you do any?
And this would be I guess for you.
And then if you do with your kids, this would be great too.
But like I'm thinking of reflections or, or ways to pull
because you know, they always everything has there's always a
silver lining. There's always a lesson.
God's trying to teach you through some of these struggles.
And it can be tough. I know, like my daughter was

(29:46):
born with a kidney defect and she had to wait until she was 4
to have surgery. She had to be big enough to have
this like major kidney surgery. She's on antibiotics her whole
life up until then. The surgery was during COVID.
They wouldn't even let me in thehospital.
It was just nuts. But she only can remember so
much now, you know, so it was really the biggest strength

(30:08):
building test on me and my wife above all else.
And so sometimes we'll talk about this and, and I want to be
able to share things with her tolet her know what she got
through and how we got because Iwant her to reflect and learn
from it. Your daughter, I, I would
assume, can remember a lot more of it because she, it started at
5. Are there things that you do
personally that you maybe you also try to do with your kids to

(30:29):
reflect on these hardships so that you can see the the
positive inside the choose hard if you will cause in those
moments choosing hard is actually getting through it.
Yeah, I think it's a good question.
I think that I think on a micro level, we do that a good job
with with both the children, like in terms of like they're
overcoming like my daughter wentto a really hard water polo

(30:51):
practice the other day. She's going to high school.
And just like acknowledging thatand celebrating the fact that
she chose to do hard things. I think at a macro level, we
still her have her in particularin weekly therapy.
And that's her opportunity to kind of like, I think, I think
for her, it's, it's more about learning how to digest some of
that trauma. And my advice to any dad out

(31:13):
there is that if your child goesthrough some like decent trauma
at a younger age, try and keep them in therapy longer than you
think they need it. We, we, we learned some lessons
there. I think in hindsight, you know,
when we had her in therapy and then we pulled her out because
we thought we were good. We, we should have kept her in
longer because those are opportunities for her to digest
in these things. Because your brain is really

(31:34):
unique, right? When you, when you go through
hard times, your brain has a wayof like sheltering those and,
and, and placing those in the back.
And you remember the positive times, like even in, let's just
say your childhood and you had things that happen.
Your brain has this weird way ofcompartmentalizing it.
But then it ends up like kind oflike living rent free in your
head for the next X amount of years and you have to learn to
digest that. I think.

(31:54):
I think for children, I think having an outlet where they
could talk about those things isis what my wife and I try and
do. Have you found that the gym, and
in your case, I would imagine toyour garage, because you have
these guys show up early in the morning and lift with you and
and some of them seem to be law enforcement such.
Does that gym become like that sanctuary, like that place where

(32:16):
maybe some of these guys who do that to a fault because they're
quote, UN quote men and they just shove stuff down, end up
bonding with other men in these sessions?
And that's what like, I guess that physical output kind of
opens them up a bit and allows them to do what you're saying.
That's exactly what it is. You know, people who maybe see
some of the stuff we do and havea negative comment on it, they

(32:37):
are so misguided in understanding what I'm trying to
accomplish, what I'm trying to accomplish that I get 50 guys in
a parking lot every weekend. And those guys foster
connections and relationships. And for a lot of men, they don't
have that in their life. You know, they come out of high
school, they're playing sports. Maybe they play sports in
college, maybe they go into the military, maybe get in law

(32:57):
enforcement. And then they lack any form of
connection. You know, I had a guy the other
day tell me he's like, I've mademore friends in the last eight
months coming to this men's clubevery week than I did the last
18 years. Because how do you make friends
as a guy? A lot of the times, you know,
women do a much better job than men do of like setting up
lunches and going and chit chatting and doing whatever

(33:17):
they're doing. They do a much better job.
Even working moms and non working moms traditionally
outside the home is what I mean is they do a great job
allocating time for each other and and connecting men.
We do a terrible job, especiallymen that have demanding jobs.
It's like work and family. And then they don't have any
time for themselves to kind of like build and learn and grow.

(33:39):
And that's what the men's club does.
So yes, it's in the garage everymorning.
But more importantly, it's my weekly big groups because we go
get coffee afterwards and we just sit and talk and you talk
about stuff. And week 1, you get a couple,
you know, you get a bunch of guys just come and show up.
Week 2, they start to get to know each other.
Week 3, they're having like a little bit more conversation.
And over time they end up havinglike real conversations about

(34:01):
real stuff that's affecting them.
It's been, it's been probably the most powerful thing that
I've experienced in fitness has been the reoccurring men's club.
Yeah, I I'm in the process of trying to do something similar
here, man. I think it's, it's got to be one
of the most missed out on thingsgoing on in society right now.
I mean, I guess I can't say thatthere's just so many different

(34:22):
things that we could say is, is missed on and we need to as a
society get better at. But when it comes to men, I, I
truly think that I've experienced a little bit of that
in a group that I was a part of.And it, it dramatically changed
my life. And I just saw, and more than
anything, 'cause it wasn't here locally, I saw what it was doing
to these guys out in Dallas and I saw how they were shaping
exactly how you're talking about.

(34:42):
And I can only imagine if every community had something like
this. Dude, yeah, I mean, I just did
one in Richmond, VA. So I live in California, San
Jose area and I do it every week.
And then I was in Richmond because I was there for Customs
and Border Protection. So I just put out to the world,
hey, I'm gonna be in Richmond, VA.
You know, you get 20 guys in a parking lot to do something
hard. You do it outdoors, you do
something hard, it's just a 45 minute session and then you go

(35:05):
grab coffee after, man, you justtalk about, oh, this way you got
going on this what we got going on.
And I'm doing one in Vegas June 19th and then I'm doing one in
Winona, MN July 3rd. And I'm just trying to get guys
together. I mean, the other day we did a
tug of war to finish off the session here in San Jose was
badass. That's super cool.
I love that dude. It's so crazy that you're.

(35:26):
Doing and for guys that and for just real quick for any women
listening who maybe or for anybody.
I just want to add this like little note.
I do think that men connect differently than women, meaning
when women are together, they doa really good job of like
talking, expressing themselves. Like this is just my experience
by the way, men do a poor job ofthat.

(35:48):
But when men are sweating and struggling, they connect so much
more. And so it's not even about the
workout. It's about doing something hard
and then grabbing coffee. But if you didn't do the hard,
no conversation would be had a coffee.
It's so weird. The way guys brains work is that
like we just need to do something hard together.
Then all of a sudden we feel like we're best friends.

(36:09):
And that's, I think what we're trying to instill.
Do you think that this is part of why so?
So I'm not, I've worked with a lot of clients that do Brazilian
Jiu Jitsu. I've never, I, I did it temp
very briefly. I had AI realized I ended up
having a torn meniscus and it wasn't fully torn.
So I was, I couldn't even kneel right.
And so I ended up getting out ofthat and I started doing Muay

(36:31):
Thai and then COVID hit and it'sbeen something on the back of my
mind. And they opened up a new spot
literally down the road and it popped up and me and my daughter
were driving by and they had a grand open.
She's like, what is that? And I was like, that's my sign.
I got to jump in. What is it about?
Because like what you're talkingabout, I feel like that's the
allure that pulls me into it because it's not necessarily

(36:51):
that I want to be a master of grappling.
It's just that every guy I talked to is experienced with
jujitsu has this level of calmness and wisdom to them.
Which also goes to show like back to what we were talking
about being a threat. Those people are a threat.
They are badasses who can definitely defend and probably,
I mean definitely hurt me if if it came down to it, but they

(37:11):
would never do that. Like they have this calmness to
them that allows them to almost prevent threats, which I think
is great. But is this is it this
camaraderie, this group nature? Like what is it that you feel
about Brazilian Jiu Jitsu that creates that that aura, that
feel that energy? Yeah, I think it's all the stuff
you're talking about. I think that if you're a guy out
there and you've never experienced placing your hands

(37:33):
on another man like in in like aphysical way, it will change the
way you look at it. It just dude, Jiu jitsu just
changes everything. Everything.
If if you have not expressed it,if you have not experienced it,
I would highly, highly, highly recommend it.
Like and here's the reason why you walk into a jiu jitsu gym

(37:54):
and hopefully you find a good one, right?
Make sure you go check out a fewand day one you go for a private
or you go do something and two things are going to happen to
you. One of two things either a
you're going to hopefully not get your ass kicked too bad, but
you're going to get your ass kicked by 150 LB girl who knows
what she's doing right? You're just going to get and
there's going to be nothing you could do about it.

(38:15):
Nothing like you're just going to getting put into positions.
And there's, there's this sense of like, wow, I'm helpless.
And that that's option A. And you could respond to it in
two different ways. Option A, you could be like,
dude, you know what, Wow, like this is eye opening for me.
This is an area of improvement for me.

(38:36):
Wow, I could really develop here.
Or you could be like, oh, this is stupid.
It's not for me. And then you leave.
And I think for the people who experience this, because
everybody goes through it and they choose to do the hard thing
and go learn this new skill. A year later, they're a
completely different human being.
They learn to be more caring, compassionate, because they
they've expressed violence in a very controlled manner.

(38:57):
So they don't need to. They they, they just so much
more low key outside those mats and on the mats, you're also
very compassionate. You want to try and choke each
other out, but you're also brothers in the same way.
I think it provides so many tools and I would recommend any
young child or any grown adult to get into jiu jitsu.

(39:18):
I think it's, it creates a levelof humbleness, man.
I, the, the short period of timeI did it.
It's funny that you say the, thething about the girl, 'cause I
remember being on the mats and he's pairing people up to roll.
And I was just in my head. Just please don't pair me with
her. And she was like 150 LB girl.
And I, but I knew, I knew by that point.
And so he pairs me with this, this big Russian dude.

(39:40):
They, his name was King. I don't know if that was his
real name or that's what they called him, but he said you
can't use your hands. And so I'm like, OK, like it's
been a couple months like this will be, you know, this guy
tapped me 3 or 4 times at least in 5 minutes with just his legs
and a smile on his face. And it was the most humbling
thing I've ever gone through in my life.
Dude, isn't that crazy? I think that there's this sense

(40:03):
of like, and I think there's, there's part of it where like
ignorance is bliss, where like Ithink that people are like, Oh
yeah, dude, if I got in a physical altercation, like I'm
going to see red, I'm gonna get through it.
It's like, Nah, dude, like, and I've been, I'm just raising my
hand and saying I've been rolling for nine years.
I've rolled with some really high level guys who make me feel
like I'm a kindergartner. Like, so I'm just saying, like

(40:23):
you, jiu jitsu allows you to crush many, many people, but
there's always someone bigger, better, stronger, whatever.
And when you watch these people at a high level execute
movements with such control, right, 'cause you're not
striking each other, you're justcontrolling them.
And the fact you can't do anything about it, it's, it's

(40:45):
just, it's very fascinating. And I would encourage any man to
pursue it because I think it will humble you in a way that
makes you a better a better man.Yeah, I agree 100% and and I'm
excited to get get back into it,man, I'm really excited.
You know, Speaking of adversity and, and this this idea of, I
mean, when I look at even jiu jitsu, I think of endurance from

(41:09):
the mental perspective of like getting through something
continually and getting better and having to bounce back and
having to push through it. Something that really fascinates
me that I love talking to entrepreneurs about on this
podcast is their journey throughCOVID from a business
perspective. Because I don't know if I have
the timeline perfectly right, but I believe you started these

(41:29):
gyms and were expanding quite a bit and COVID had to have hit
right in the middle of you doinga lot with your different
locations, all these things and everything just shuts down.
Can you kind of just walk us through what may have happened
and and how you navigated through that?
Yeah, I mean, it was really, that was really shitty.
Prior to COVID, we had 32 locations and during COVID we

(41:53):
had 32 locations. We had a lot of corporate
Wellness and then we had seven of our own brick and mortar here
in the Bay Area and then one in Mexico.
And so during COVID we just got,we got crushed and we got we got
absolutely crushed. It was so difficult for me
because it was something I was so far outside of my control.
And yeah, I mean, we ended up just consolidating down and we,

(42:17):
we lost a lot of money and, and we, we're very fortunate that we
were able to get through it. But it was a huge learning
experience for me that I mean, when, when, when Newsom shut us
down and then was at French Laundry.
I'll never forget the way I feltthat like this guy can shut down
our business. I'm here losing 100 plus $1000 a

(42:40):
month and then you're going to go into French Laundry.
Like it just made me feel like what is going on?
What, what like? And then anyways, COVID created
a lot of emotion and I had to learn how to detach from what
was outside my control and focuson what was in my control and
learning about, hey, how do we pivot to digital?
How do we learn here? How do we do this?

(43:01):
So that I'm grateful for that. It taught me from a business
perspective to really lean into what we have control over.
But man, it was very, very, verytough times.
We ended up shutting down multiple gyms out of that.
The one in Mexico was difficult because we were dealing with the
Mexican government, which was totally different.
And I'd say my biggest lesson learned was that business is

(43:23):
hard. I chose to get into business.
I chose to be a gym owner, and Ineeded to learn how to
compartmentalize it better and that my family shouldn't take
the brunt of my reactions because that was a choice that I
went into this industry. You know, I mean, like, those
were like lessons that I reflected on later.
Yeah, that's that's good, man. I think that, you know, it's

(43:46):
everything is easier said the done.
So I was back up when people saylike easier said the done.
It's like, well, everything is literally.
But I'm curious if maybe maybe you did this quickly and maybe
you didn't and this taught you that you might as well do it
quickly. But I find it interesting when
people do bounce back, what you clearly have, it's inevitable.
Like you're going to continue following your passion, you're

(44:09):
going to continue pursuing your purpose, you're going to
continue to build your businesses to lead the type of
people you want to lead and everything.
And so when this stuff happens, sometimes it does feel
crippling, right? And, and you stop and you slow
down and, and you don't know what to do because it is out of
your control. But you obviously reshifted your
focus. What can I control?
Which is the, is the thing that is easier said than done, of

(44:30):
course. Were you able to do that pretty
quickly, like kind of sit back, pout and then go, OK, there's no
other option. I got to protect and provide.
Or did it take a minute? Oh, it took a minute because
every time I thought we were on the right track, we ended up,
you know, one step forward, 2 steps back with things that are
outside of our control. I mean, we are, we had one gym
that was shut down for 15 months.
That was the rent was 32,000 a month on it, right.

(44:52):
So, you know, we ended up, it was hard.
It was hard because every time it was like one step I we're
focused, we're going to open up,we're going to do this, we do
that. Then it's like, no guys, you
know, you're closed again and you know, mask, no mask this
that. I mean, it was just, I mean,
even just talking about it gets me like frustrated in the sense

(45:14):
like it was just so like, wait, in one county that we had a gym
in, you didn't have to wear a mask.
In the other county, we had to wear a mask and managing that
and managing our members and managing our staff.
It was, it was very difficult time.
And you know, the one thing I think we did do well is that
from the beginning, we said thatwe were going to abide by
Allstate and county mandates. In hindsight, we should have

(45:36):
either said that or the opposite.
But we shouldn't have done is created our own rules.
So like what allowed us to be tosmoothen it out was like we are
taking our cues from the government and we are going to
abide by them. I think we're gym owners had a
tough time is if you decide to create your own rules like like,
and I'm not saying the decision we made was right and nor do I

(45:59):
agree with many of the government rules.
All I'm saying is that we chose to abide by all of them.
So it left out the, like, subjectivity.
So our members are just like, dude, they're just abiding by
the rules. You know, like, like, yeah, you
know what I'm saying? Yeah, absolutely.
Did this experience help you make make those tough decisions

(46:19):
quicker, like shift your focus and, and I guess today I'm just
thinking like, now if something happens, it's out of your
control and just sucks. Are you more quickly able to go?
Well, that sucks, but I have no choice but to keep moving.
Here's what I have to do and kind of remove that emotional
side. Well, and I think it also like
opened my mind more to the available market that's online
and how do we make a bigger impact for that community,
right. So I opened up NC Fit in 2008.

(46:42):
We, we still have NC Fit. We own and operate brick and
mortar gyms and we serve as gym owners.
But a lot of my passion, even just by talking about today goes
into helping men train hard, be more capable, be the best
version of themselves for their wives and for their for their
children. It's very, very important to me.
It's a it's a core value of mineto help as many men as possible.

(47:04):
It's it's really something I'm very I'm I'm locked in on and so
train hard. The website's TH dot fit.
We have online training programsand like it's so interesting to
me because we just get we're just getting done with the 45
day challenge. It ends on Father's Day, which
is like in a couple days. And all the challenge was was 45

(47:25):
burpees a day. It was removing alcohol, it was
eating 50 grams of protein to start the day.
It was getting in a workout and it was taking weekly progress
photos. That was the five right?
And it is shocking to me the results that guys have gotten by
doing those five simple things, right, Training every day or 45

(47:47):
burpees a day, removing the alcohol and the protein,
probably the number ones. Because when you when you
prioritize approach in the morning, it requires you to
think about what you're going toeat.
And then you don't just grab whatever you find midday 'cause
you're starving. So that's been huge for guys.
The alcohol thing has made guys so jacked.
And the progress for photos havebeen awesome because sometimes

(48:07):
it doesn't show up in the scale,but it shows up in the way you
look. So yeah, if you're a guy out
there, what I'll share with you is this life is going to be
hard. We need to best prepare for it.
And the way we do that is by making ourselves as physically
and mentally strong. And those things I just listed
off I think could help you. Oh.
Man, I love it. It's it's funny how the longer
I've been a coach for 13 plus years now running this business

(48:30):
for seven. I've I've done physique shows,
I've done high rocks. I've done endurance rate like
I've done so much. I'm a certified credentialed
sports nutritionist. And the more and more I do and
the more and more I learn, the more I realize like it's really
like what I call stacking the 1%.
It's like, let's just do these small things and stack them.
It's about how how many days in a row can you stack those things
up? That's what produces.

(48:51):
Man, you know, if you had asked me when I first got into the
fitness space, I mean, I was teaching CrossFit seminars in
2009, right? So traveling the world, teaching
CrossFit. And you know, as you mature and
you get older, your mind opens up and it should, right?
Like I'm almost 40. I should be a different person
today than I was when I was 21. I won the CrossFit Games, right?

(49:13):
I should be. If I'm not, then I'm, I'm
missing the boat. But the more I'm in the game,
the more I realize that all thatmatters.
Like you said, it's just consistency.
It's little things and it's identifying what works for you.
So nutrition wise, there's some people that fast all day,
there's some people that are going to win with what I'm
talking about. Even lately, there's something
called the sugar diets becoming popular.

(49:34):
You need to find what works for you and if it's working, keep
doing it. If it's not, you have an
obligation to change. And when we talk about alcohol,
really what we're talking about is removing a crutch.
So if you and your lady want to go out for wine, dude, do it.
If you're with your boys and yougo to Vegas for a night, enjoy
yourself. But if every night you're
cracking 234 beers, you're you're it's a crutch.

(49:55):
It's just like this thing you'redoing.
And I think that by removing it,you'll watch your body and your
mind totally transform. I agree, 100% agree.
And I and I just want to encourage people to you have to
sign up for something like that.You have to be a part of a
group. You have to get accountability.
You have to be surrounded by people.
It's very rare that somebody canjust make the shift and cut out

(50:15):
alcohol and decide I'm going to do burpees every day and eat
more. Like you need somebody around
you to hold you accountable. You need other guys, other
people, even ladies. You need other women around.
Like that accountability and community piece is just so huge.
And then and then you can stack those days way more
consistently. So later on in life, you can do
it on your own, you know, but it's so human.

(50:36):
I love what you're doing on so many levels.
I relate to it so much and as a dad who I'm 32, I'm going to be
33 next month. It's you also influence guys
like me who are in charge and have a role to influence other
guys too. So it's like you're, you're
really doing amazing things, man.
I appreciate a ton. And the the last question I have

(50:57):
for you today is someone asking all my listeners is, is what
does choose hard mean to you in a nutshell?
I think, I think choosing hard is exactly that, right?
Like I choose to go out and pursue hard things because I
know it's going to allow me to show up as the best version of
myself and reach my potential. Like what?
What keeps me up at night is asking myself, am I reaching my

(51:18):
potential as a husband, as a father, as a business owner?
Am I and the only way that I could really reach my potential
is I have to go choose and do hard things.
I have to do hard things where hard conversation with my wife
to better communicate, hard conversation with my kids to
help level us up hard in the gymto be more physically and
mentally capable. Hard things that work to grow so

(51:39):
I could provide more. Like all of it comes down to
doing hard things. Like if it was easy, it's not
worth it, right? You know, I'm saying so I think
that anything that I've ever accomplished in my life that was
ever meaningful to me, it it, it, it was hard.
And I think that's really important to reflect on as
you're going through that process.
Is that due to supposed to be hard?

(52:00):
That's what it's about. So when you get to the other
side, you have all these lessonslearned and you're a different
person because of it. So good man, great note to end
on and for everybody listening, I I believe you the Jason, Jason
Khalifa podcast. You have a couple websites, you
have Instagram. Can you just drop what those are
real quick so I can list all those so people can go follow
you and check everything out? Yeah, I mean the the website is

(52:22):
TH dot fit. If you're looking for just a
badass group of people, the app we have is an awesome community
on it. Like if you're listening to
podcasts, like dude, I want to get on the path, go to TH dot
fit. You can also go to my Instagram
at Jason JSON Khalipa KHALIPA and there's there's links in
there and all that kind of stuff.
And we put out content. We have a newsletter that goes

(52:44):
out every week. You can find that at TH dot fit.
And then of course you have the podcast at Jason Khalipa
podcast. So, you know, like I said, if
you're a guy out there, if you're a dad out there and you
just want to have constant inspiration to level up, that's
what we're putting out. And it's the journey that I'm on
to get myself to where I want tobe.
I love it, man. Thank you so much for spending
time with me today, man. It's been amazing and I know the
the listeners are going to get alot out of this podcast.

(53:06):
Hell yeah. Thanks guys.

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#69 - Jason Khalipa on Fitness, Fatherhood, & Building Resilience in Life & Business

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}#69 - Jason Khalipa on Fitness, Fatherhood, & Building Resilience in Life & Business