#75 - 5 Mindset Shifts That Changed My Life (and How to Apply Them) - Choose Hard with Cody McBroom

Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
In this episode of the Choose Hard podcast, I'm going to give
you 5 mindset shifts that I havepersonally had recently, which
dramatically helped me be more positive, feel more fulfilled,
and achieve more of my goals that I am chasing.
And I think if you apply these lessons into your life
immediately, you will see more. Success across the board.
The greatest things in life all start with a challenge.

(00:22):
You must accept that everything is hard before it gets easy.
Every every every, everything you want in life begins with a
hard path. Begins with a hard path.
Welcome to the Choose Hard podcast.
I'm your host Cody Mcbroom. I am a father, husband,
entrepreneur and coach and the founder of Tailored Coaching
Method. And my job on this podcast is to

(00:42):
help you choose hard every single day and live your best
life possible. And we're going to do that.
We're going to do that today. I'm going to go over 5 mindset
shifts that have changed my life.
I'm excited about this podcast because one, it's been a minute
since actually, I'm always excited to podcast.
I know you guys, if you're a consistent listener, you know

(01:05):
that I say this every single time almost because by the time
I get to sit down and do the podcast, I'm always fired up.
I just love doing this. This is absolutely such a blast.
Shoot, that's a mindset shift. Just look at the fun parts of
what you do. God damn.
Everything will be better, I promise.
But no, really, I am excited about this one because it's been

(01:27):
a minute since I've done a solo podcast.
This will probably air before some of the episodes we already
have recorded just so I can likealternate and not only have, you
know, interviews and guests, podcasts and stuff, but man, I
have done podcasts. Shout out to Coach Kyle on our
staff. I think he's been on the
podcast. Like we've done like 3 episodes
together now. I think one of them has

(01:48):
released. I got like two more in the bank
that are really good. But he works here at the
facility a couple times a week. So it's just easy to have a a Co
host. And sometimes I'm like, yo, come
on in the podcast studio, man. There's a couple like impromptu
ones. I was just like, come on down
here bro, let's do it. It's just more fun when you have
people an episode. Just came out with Nick, Nick
Love on the TCM staff as well. One of the coaches.

(02:10):
I just did an interview with Garrett Unclebach that aired, I
believe, the week before this one comes out.
And I had another episode with Doctor Katie Labrowski, I
believe is how you pronounce your last name, which I'm really
excited about. We had to reschedule, though, so
because I'm not talking with hertoday, I'm going to do a solo

(02:31):
podcast because I had it on my calendar to do a podcast.
And this one I decided to do because I have a whole entire
series mapped out that I won't say yet and I'm not ready to
start recording yet 'cause I'm really, really trying to be
detail oriented with how I writethe blueprint for that series,
that podcast series. And so this episode comes from

(02:54):
my thoughts. It comes for this is one of
those like journal entry style podcast.
But I think you're going to gather a lot from it because,
you know, I was writing down just things that I've had as
perspective changes, paradigm shattering moments, not
necessarily what shattered my paradigm.
But what was? My mindset shift during that

(03:14):
period of time, what did that dofor me, right?
Because I want this to be contextual for you and I want
you to be able to learn from what I'm talking about today.
And I really think that if you take the lessons I'm learning
and hear how I'm learning them and what lessons came out of it,
I think you could literally write these five things down and
it will dramatically improve thesuccess you have in your life.

(03:35):
And I mean that and, and not success, like you're going to
make more money or you're going to lose more weight, Although I
think you would do both of thosethings if those are your goals,
because I'm all about achieving goals.
And I think that's really important.
I think that some of the things that we need in life as humans,
one is community and tribe. Like you need to be a part of
something with other people. I think that is extremely

(03:57):
important. One of them is a goal.
You need to have outcomes that you're working towards.
One of them is challenge. If you're not choosing hard, if
you're not challenging yourself,if you're not being.
Pushed. If you're not leaning into
resistance, I think that you aremissing a vital part of being a
human. The life experience needs to
have a challenge within it. That competitive nature and that

(04:20):
ability to push into resistance is so important for fulfillment
and success and just a life experience in general.
So there's all these elements I think are really important, but
these are things that are, are literally in my mind that
shifted and it took a long time.I think when I read these out
and I'm going to give you all five of them just back-to-back.

(04:41):
And then I'm going to go into each one and kind of explain why
this is a, a moment for me, why this is a, a mindset shift.
What the lesson is maybe where Icame up with this, 'cause I have
some bullet points each one, butI'm really going to kind of
freestyle these different topicsand a lot of them took me
banging my head against the wallover and over again.

(05:03):
You know, some of like me and myfellow like male entrepreneur
buddies, I say male because thisis a very like dude way of
saying it. But like, there's been moments
and lessons I've learned this year where.
I'm talking to a friend or a mentor about it.
And it's like, yeah, I don't know how many times I had to get
kicked in the nuts before I started, like, covering, right?
And that's kind of like the weird analogy.

(05:25):
But if you're a dude, you get it.
Maybe if you're female, you understand what I'm talking
about, too. It's the same thing of, like,
just banging your head on the wall, right?
Or, or the video. This is the funniest video I've
ever seen probably in my life. One of the funniest.
Not the funniest, but one of thefunniest where the lady has a
nail in her head, if you've everseen that.
And she's like, I just have these headaches and it's like
this shooting pain and it's justlike really, really sharp.

(05:45):
And the guy's looking at her Andthen finally it zooms out and
she's got a nail in her foreheadand he's like, but you have a
nail in your forehead and she's like, you're missing the point.
It's hilarious. It's about relationships.
But if you take the context of those two people in the video
being married out of it and justlook at like she has a nail in
her head and she's complaining and pointing the finger at other

(06:06):
things and she's trying to dodgethe lesson.
She's trying to ignore the lesson and the thing that God's
trying to. Teach her, or in my case me,
right? I'm getting kicked in the nuts
and instead of covering up I'm like, what's going on right?
Like trying to find the source. It is so much easier to just
submit. To stop thinking you know

(06:26):
everything, to stop resisting the lesson, to stop hiding from
what's difficult and to just face it head on and actually
learn the lesson that God's trying to teach you.
You would just grow so much more.
So these are those things. These are things that
consistently came up OK in my life and I can almost guarantee
yours too. So here's the five lessons and

(06:48):
the mindset shifts that I'm going to go over.
These are the. 5 mindset shifts that have changed my life. 5
mindset shifts in paradigm shattering moments.
Let's say or or shifts that paradigm shattering moments
created. And not even paradigm shattering
moments 'cause it wasn't like like the first one is
comparison. Isn't bad.
It wasn't that like I was like, Oh my gosh, mind blown, right?

(07:09):
But rather it just took me having to see that lesson over
and over again, right? So these are 5 mindset shifts
that I've had. These are also five lessons that
I feel God has tried to repetitively teach me until I
finally learned the lesson. And there are five things that
have catapulted me forward, not just from a success perspective
financially or with my body or my business or anything like

(07:31):
that, but like my fulfillment inlife and what allows me to stay
present and calm and controlled and, and, and not just satisfied
but but truly fulfilled #1 Comparison isn't bad.
What and how you compare is number 2.
Advice and opinions are not the same thing #3 Forward thinking

(07:52):
can actually pull you backwards #4 You always have time, but
only if you have a purpose and #5 nothing becomes intuitive.
So start working on becoming intentional.
Those are the five mindset shifts that have helped me be so

(08:12):
much more successful in the goals I'm attacking, but also
fulfilled. Truly fulfilled along the
journey. That's what.
Always fulfilled, Never satisfied really means Which?
Side note, you know, I'm pretty pumped about this.
Little congratulations to me, the trade marking finally went
through all the way. If you've ever had trademarks,
you know how long it takes. I think I trademarked that like

(08:33):
a year ago and I've been on top of everything they need.
So as soon as a file is needed or proof is needed, I'm like
boom, sending it. And there's quite a few I have.
So you, you go through stages. If you're not unfamiliar with
this like you have the trademarkis the TM sign.
That means that you have a pending trademark.
That means that they approved itpartially, but it still has to.
Work through all. The processes and get approved

(08:53):
by actual people in the government, all this stuff.
And then once you have the little C with a circle around
that's a copywriting, that's a, a, a real legit trademark like
that went all the way through. They own that you can't do
anything whatsoever. Not even close.
And I have a bunch that are still pending and I have a few
that are completely through, butalways fulfilled, never
satisfied. Just got finished this week and
I'm pumped about that. So that saying in general

(09:15):
though, always fulfilled, never satisfied means like never being
satisfied is not statement saying that I'm never happy.
It's a statement saying that I will consistently want more.
It's an ongoing growth. It's Kai Zen, the continuous
improvement every single day. Always fulfilled means I'm
enjoying the process. I like the grind, I love the

(09:35):
journey. I am engulfed in the process.
I am staying present in the moment and I'm going to love
every single second of it, right?
And you don't always, but it's agood reminder, always fulfilled,
never satisfied. It's a good reminder to yourself
to stay in it and love every second of it.
Anyway, that's a side note. Let's get into it.

(09:56):
So #1 comparison isn't bad. What and how you compare is let
me read that one more time. Comparison is not bad.
It's not a bad thing. I know they say that comparison
is the thief of joy, but comparison is not a bad thing.
What you compare can become a bad thing and how you compare
can become a bad thing. They can become very negative

(10:20):
and, and really like, for lack of better terms, soul sucking.
It can just drain you and, and really diminish the fulfillment
and the success and the the happiness that you have in the
the process if you don't look atcomparison the right way.
So there's a few notes I have here that I think are really
important for people to understand.
The first one is that everyone'ssituation is completely

(10:40):
different. Their past experiences are
different, their perspectives are different, their environment
is different, their genetics aredifferent.
The people they are with are different.
Where they live is different. Their financial situation is
different, their upbringing is different.
Like the list goes on. The injuries they've had are
different. Everything, every single thing
is different. If you look beyond what you see

(11:01):
right in front of you, and this is very, very important because
if you just compare the. Results without the rest of
that. You are going to put yourself in
a hole, you are going to feel defeated, you are going to lose
motivation. But if you compare everything,
you compare the result, but you also compare their past, their

(11:23):
environment, their work, the sacrifice, everything involved,
their family, their people around them.
Like literally everything, especially everything that is
involved with the thing that you're comparing to, you are
going to feel a lot different because if you compare the
possibility and the potential, you are going to feel hopeful

(11:43):
and inspired, not defeated and like you're losing motivation.
I want you to really think aboutthat.
If I'm comparing to a person, I am comparing apples to oranges.
I am not that person. Of course it is going to feel
impossible. But if I remove the emotional
sides of it, if I remove the physical person, the actual
person themselves, the being, and I just think of the result.

(12:07):
Now I'm comparing the possibility and the potential.
So I can look at somebody with something that I want to have.
And instead of getting jealous or envious or hateful towards
myself and my own capabilities and, and unmotivated and
insecure judge mental, instead of feeling all those weights

(12:29):
towards the person's result. If I look at the possibility and
the potential, I can look at them and see they accomplish
this things. What's the possibility that they
could do it versus the possibility that I could do it?
I promise you, 9 times out of 10, it's no different.
It's just they've done things toget there that you haven't done

(12:50):
yet, right? And now you go, OK, well, what's
the possibility of me getting there and what's the potential
that I could actually succeed? It's probably the exact same
thing as them. I mean, it's even crazy to think
about. Like think of famous people like
Kevin Hart, one of the most successful comedy actors and
comedians in the world, Joe Rogan.

(13:12):
Same thing. Like they didn't grow up with a
silver spoon. They didn't grow up with their
careers handed to them even bothof them are in great shape and
health too. They neither of them grew.
Up with that genetically. Like they're not genetically
gifted. Kevin Hart's like the smallest
guy I've ever seen. He's tiny, but he's pushing to
build muscle, get stronger, jumphigher, run faster.
So is Joe Rogan. Joe Rogan's actually really
short too, but he's a bad ass. He can fight, he can lift, he

(13:34):
can run, he's healthy. Like they just did work.
We see the result and we compareourselves to themselves.
And it demotivates us unless we look at what they did and then
we decide, do we want that end goal?
And if we want that outcome and that end goal, it's a question
of do we, are we willing to do what they did to get there?
Because their possibility and their potential is the same as

(13:56):
our possibility and potential. And that allows me to have hope.
It makes me feel way less defeated.
I feel way more hopeful and inspired to take action, more
motivated. The other sides of this, things
that we have to realize too, is that if we look at everybody's
situation, let's take it away from, you know, I, I mean, just
to like even think of a cul-de-sac, right?
I've done this plenty of times where I sit in my cul-de-sac

(14:18):
sometimes and it's interesting, 'cause you can look around and
it's like, OK, we all live in the same kind of neighborhood,
which means we all have the same.
Type of house and I live in a cul-de-sac where all of the lots
are the same. So we all have pretty Big Lots
and they're they're nice houses they're all built around the
same time. They're different builders.
But I mean, relatively speaking,if you just look at the, the

(14:40):
market in the world and labor and lumber, it's like, OK, all
these houses are relatively the same.
Like what's what's the difference here?
Well, everybody's mortgage is different because everybody's
past decisions were different. Everybody made.
Good decisions and bad decisionsdifferent than my good decisions
and bad decisions, which influences their credit,

(15:01):
different than mine, which influences their savings account
and their expenses and their budget.
Different than mine, right? And then you just think of, OK,
well, what about preferences? I'm a car guy.
I spend too much money on vehicles.
I love vehicles. I've I've always been that way.
I grew up going to monster truckshows, race car stuff, muscle
car shows, Funny Car drag races.Like my dad was in that that

(15:24):
world, in that industry. That's what he did.
So I love cars and I saw my dad have different cars growing up.
So I spent too much money on cars.
OK, well let's take the expense of a nice car per month, which
right now is insane compared to a very reliable, cheaper basic.
Car a luxury car versus a Kia ora Hyundai, and there's something
wrong with either decision, but it's a decision that

(15:47):
dramatically influences your financial budget.
So if one family's going on vacations to do all this stuff,
but they drive a Kia and the other family doesn't go on as
many, and they might feel jealous of that, but forget that
they spend four to five times more money per month on their
luxury vehicle. Which personally, like, of

(16:07):
course I want to do both, but you have to be smart and I enjoy
a luxury vehicle because I like to sit in a nice car I drive
every day. It gives me a feeling, right?
Tables turned. What are they comparing to?
Maybe they're comparing the vehicles while we're comparing
the vacations, right? Like I can't remember who I was
talking about this, but I was trying to work somebody through
their situation and I use this as an example because I was

(16:30):
like, this is a easy one. Like if I look at my cul-de-sac,
we're all so different. We all have different jobs, we
all have different careers, we all have different lives.
We all have different sizes of families.
We all have different history and past and preferences of what
we spend money on, different diets, different habits.
We have different cultural backgrounds every.
It's a very diverse cul-de-sac and so it's a really easy thing

(16:53):
to just look at as an analogy, but we can do that with
everything. If you're comparing your body to
somebody else's body, you've been training differently than
they have over the years. You have been training at a
different time length than they have.
You have learned different things about training than they
have. You have 8 different foods than
they have. You have done had different
injuries. You grew up playing a different
sport than they did. You got introduced to junk food
or to healthy food sooner or later.

(17:14):
Like the list goes on. You can't just compare at face
value is the point. And the last two little Nuggets
on this is that number one, our minds go towards the negative,
which means that if I feel inferior about something that
they're superior at or with, they're probably feeling
inferior about what I am superior at or with.

(17:38):
And the problem with that is that we're always going to go to
the negative. So, and this is the the fucked.
Up part about being a human. Instead of me sitting there and
appreciating and being grateful and and patting myself on the
back about what I'm great at andwhat I have superior talent OR
skill or expertise in, my mind is immediately going to go
towards what I'm inferior at. Because I see what others are

(18:01):
superior at that I'm not. But the beautiful thing about
that is it's easy to shift that perspective if you just think
and realize, think about their perspective and realize that
they're doing the same thing. So the second part of this is
that perspective is the most important aspect here because
what we're doing with perspective is taking the same

(18:23):
ratio. I have this inferiority here and
a superiority here. You have an inferiority there
and a superiority there. It's a 5050 thing.
I'm choosing to look at the good50% because if we really boil it
down and we use somebody else that we know as an example,
which allows us to remove the emotional bias we have towards

(18:45):
ourselves. We might realize that the thing
that they're superior in that we're not doesn't matter nearly
as much or is not nearly as useful to us as the thing we're
superior in. Probably why we're superior in
that because we've worked on it over time.
And so if we can just start emphasizing the positive side,
it's the glass half full versus half empty.

(19:06):
Yet everybody knows that and says that they just don't do it.
How often do you truly look at the glass half full instead of
empty? Especially when you first think
of the half empty side? Because thinking about the glass
half full is intuitively is great, but most likely you have
to intentionally do it. And if you can start

(19:29):
intentionally doing that, that makes a big difference.
So the point with this whole first thing is that comparison
isn't bad. I think that a lot of people
read that famous quote. Comparison is the thief of joy.
And they just say I have to not worry about anybody else.
I have to not compare to anybodyelse.
But I think that's BS because I look at people who have more
than me who have achieved what Iwant to achieve.
There's a lot of businesses thatI am envious of in a good way,

(19:52):
Like I am inspired by them. It's not jealousy, it's it's
inspiration. I want what they have.
So in, in by definition, I'm kind of envious, but it, it
inspires me to grow because I look at them and I'm like, they
all, like I actually broke this down for my team at a team
retreat. Like I put these examples of
businesses that we aspire to be like and grow and and match size

(20:13):
wise and and and impact wise. And we sat there and it's like,
OK, we could just leave these logos up here and just start
comparing to how we're not thereyet.
Or I'm going to put the timelineof how long it took them to get
there, and we can compare to thewhole picture.
And that's what I did. When I pulled up the years that
those companies started, everybody was shocked because it
was like, damn, they've been in business way longer than us.

(20:36):
Well, yeah, no wonder we want tobe like them.
They've been at it for longer. We're going to hit eight years
here in October. That's a long time.
That's way longer than most companies.
And there's a, that's a, there'sa good reason why we've been
around 8 years straight. But I'll tell you what amazing
companies that impact the world and grow to a, a, a globally
recognized scale. Those companies push past eight

(20:57):
years, they hit 10, they hit 15,and then they start seeing the
most amazing progress in terms of impact and reach.
And that's where we're going. But like, again, my perspective
is not what I don't have. My perspective is what I have
and what it can be based on whatthe possibility and potentials I
see in myself and my team. And I compare it to the

(21:17):
companies and the people and theimpact that is out there that I
aspire to be like, not in a negative way saying woe, it's
me, I don't have that yet, but in a positive way saying they've
been doing it longer. Cool, buckle up, let's keep
going, right? So comparison isn't bad.
What and how you compare is thishas been huge for me because it

(21:37):
has just helped me reframe my mind when I do compare, but also
it it's allowed me to pull from another fuel source for
motivation, right. Yeah.
And, and even like this is funnytoo, but this is just like a
personal like being very transparent even like I started
doing reels. If you haven't watched them, go

(21:58):
check them out because I feel like I'm doing pretty good with
them. They're super helpful, but I
started doing these reels on Instagram where I'm critiquing
influencers fitness advice and and nutrition advice because
there's a lot of influencers outthere that just do click bait
and their, for lack of better terms, full of shit.
And it really does trigger me. It makes me mad because I know
there's people out there fallingfor it and that's no, you know,

(22:22):
surprise or like, that's not thehate towards those people that
fall for it because they're not professionals in this space.
I am. Why would, why wouldn't they
fall for it? They're trusting the person
that's jacked or ripped or has abig butt.
And I hate that cause those are the people that get the most
eyes and it's more easily accessible information and
people are struggling to find good quality coaches to learn

(22:43):
from online. So I've been posting these.
Videos where I critique those people.
I'm post one tomorrow as I'm recording this about Mark
Wahlberg. Just he's obsessed with fasting.
It's hilarious but like. Point being is, is I actually
started seeing those become morepopular and I didn't like them.
I thought they were stupid and II would compare, but I would
compare it a negative way. It would make me mad that people

(23:04):
like would blow up by posting those.
They would get so many views andthey would like build their
followings off of these videos that I thought were stupid
because they just show a review video of somebody else and
basically talk shit on the person most of the time.
Sometimes it's a +1 and they're like, this is super dope.
I like this information, but nine times out of 10, they don't
educate you. They're just watching this video
and they're like, this is dumb, don't listen to them.

(23:25):
And then it's over. Or they're like, this is good
information, you should do this.And they're just piggybacking
off of these persons views. And I'm like, you didn't give
any knowledgeable advice or opinion as to why it's wrong or
right to prove that you're a good coach.
You just piggybacked off their views.
And there's I mean, there's a lot of people doing that.
So I was like, OK, I can hate onit for longer because I've been

(23:47):
hating on it silently, or I can just make my own videos and do
what I think is missing. And they've been doing well.
People have been joined the series, but that's another
example of what can I add to this value wise.
Instead of comparing about what they're getting based on what
I'm not willing to do, I can just change it and align it with
my integrity and do it the rightway.
So anyway, comparison is not bad.

(24:08):
What and how you compare is number 2.
Advice and opinions are not the same.
This one's kind of a touchy subject, but we often ask
opinions from those we love. And this is something that I've
learned over the years. And this is not just like, I'm
not just talking about family, I'm talking about family,
friends. Call it like anybody in your

(24:29):
immediate circle that you ask for advice or you're talking
about what you're doing with andthey give you their unsolicited
opinion and advice, right? And I was helping a, a mentor
client of mine with this becausehe was going through a similar
thing. And I've experienced that.
And that's part of the way I, I like mentoring these, these

(24:50):
trainers, these guys that I feellike I'm maybe just a few years
ahead of or or maybe more than afew years ahead of with my
business in my career. And I can really shed light on
being an entrepreneur in the fitness space and business.
It's really rewarding. And one of the things we were
talking about is this. And I feel like I could see his
eyes opening up and understanding it.
And it gave him approval to not need to please everybody, right.
And so the point is, is that we ask opinions from our loved ones

(25:13):
all the time or we share what we're doing and our goals and
our, our journey and our mission, which is totally fine.
But when we do that, usually they give us their advice and
their unsolicited opinion, or they give us their opinion and
we see it as advice. And that's really not smart.
Because if we don't consider whether or not they have the
credibility to provide that advice to us, then it's not

(25:37):
really advice. It's just their opinion.
And we have to see it as their opinion, not as their advice.
If if I'm getting advice from a loved one or family and I did
not specifically say can you give me advice on this?
And that's not me seeking advice.

(25:59):
That's me sharing something I'm going through or doing.
And they're shedding light on what they think is light or what
they think is true. They're sharing their opinion.
They're giving their unsolicitedadvice to me.
And this is not me saying don't ever tell your friends and
family what you're doing or how you're doing or anything.
It's just that if you can see itas an opinion, there will be far
less judgement. There will be far less

(26:20):
defensiveness and arguments. And it's not a negative thing.
I don't have to sit here and go when I say something and
somebody close to me gives me their quote UN quote advice,
their opinion. If I see it as advice, I might
get defensive because when they give me their advice, I'm seeing
it as negative and wrong. And and as in what I'm doing is
negative and wrong. I'm seeing it as you're

(26:40):
challenging me saying that I'm wrong, I'm not smart, I'm not
doing this right. And it creates this like
resentment. It's weird.
If you, if you're listening thisand you've ever had this
experience, which I'm sure a lotof you have, Everybody I've ever
talked to and helped with this has and the moment internally I
go, this is just their opinion. It's not advice.
I can just listen and be like, huh, good to know.

(27:02):
Like, oh, that's a good, that's a good opinion.
Like I love that. Thank you.
I don't need to take that advice.
I don't need to take that and doanything with it.
It's not advice. It's an opinion and I have to
see it as an opinion, not as advice.
Because if they have not gained the credibility to give me
advice, meaning if I'm talking to somebody about being a

(27:22):
business owner and managing employees and doing sales and
lead Gen. and all these things and they've never ran a
business, they've never been in a sales position, they've never
done any type of lead generation, and they give me
their opinion. It is just an opinion.
The problem with a lot of peopleis they take it as advice and it
slows them down. They either a get defensive and
it causes a negative energy in anegative situation with somebody

(27:48):
they have in their environment in inner circle, which is not a
good thing. We don't want that or #2 it
slows them down because they seeit as advice and now they're
second guessing their own actions.
And the crazy part is you might have come up with the smartest
plan to attack your goals or gotten actual advice from a
professional who is a professional at giving advice in

(28:09):
that department. Like that's their lane.
And now somebody who has no credibility in that space gives
you an opinion, but because you love them and they're close to
you, you take it as advice. And now it's challenging the
advice you got from somebody whohas more credibility and that
you probably paid for the adviceof.
And now you're second guessing your actions, which delays you
from taking action, which is terrible because imperfect

(28:31):
action is better than no action at all, let alone stopping
completely or going into something with a lack of
confidence because that alone will crush it.
Your attitude, being insecure going into your goals is not a
good thing so. And we just have to see it as
opinions not advice and there's nothing wrong with that.
This is not me blatantly saying yeah but you don't have the

(28:54):
credibility so I ain't listeningto you.
No it's me listening and just internally digesting it as an
opinion, not as advice. Don't let it question what your
moves are because it's not a badthing to take their opinions and
consider them and love them for giving their opinion but just
leave it at that. You don't even need to have like
a dialogue back and forth, Just take it in and thank them for it
and be done so long as you don'tsee them as advice.

(29:17):
And then the last part of this is that they may feel like
they're protecting you and this happens pretty often, but it's
their own lack of confidence andtheir own insecurity and
accomplishing the goal that you're after for themselves that
actually influences and projectsthat opinion.
So if you're telling somebody your goals and what you're doing

(29:37):
and what you're going to attack it, Maybe you're confident
because you've done your homework, you've done the study,
you've done the the building, you've done the practice, and
you're ready to attack this. And somebody else is bringing
you down and saying that it's not going to happen or that's
going to be difficult or they'rea negative naysayer.
That's because they didn't do what you did to get where you're
at. And so they see that as a hard

(29:58):
thing to accomplish. They put themselves in your
shoes. And if they were to go for that
goal right now, they would not be successful.
They lack that confidence that you already have because you've
earned. And so they try to bring you
down because it's their own insecurities projecting onto
you. So it's, and this is not them
being a a malicious person. A lot of times that comes from

(30:20):
loved ones because they protect,they don't want to see you fail
at all. So it's literally they're doing
it out of love subconsciously. But the problem is, is that
because they don't have the experience or the credibility to
accomplish what you're chasing, they can't see the possibility
and the potential of you accomplishing it like you can.

(30:40):
And so don't take it as somebodybeing negative or trying to
bring you down, especially if they're a close loved one.
Take it as they don't have the experience and the credibility
that I have to accomplish this. So their insecurities are
bleeding into our conversation. I'm just going to recognize that
so I can stay confident in my mission and focus on what I know
to be true and how to accomplishthis goal.
OK, So advice and opinions, theyare not the same.

(31:04):
And I think the sooner we acceptthat and understand that, the
less likely we are to be shook in in in our approach or
detoured off our path or distracted from our focus that
we're we're chasing for our goals. #3 forward.
Thinking can pull you backwards.You can't be present in your

(31:28):
process, in your journey while you're thinking too far ahead.
Nor can you be present in your process if you're dwelling on
the past. When we dwell on the past,
that's when we have more stress and depression, typically
because we are we are stressed and or sad about what has
already happened. What is and it stops us from
changing what is to get to a good place.

(31:52):
Anxiety is when we're thinking so far ahead or we're constantly
putting ourselves in the future that it's taken us away from the
present. And this is much easier said
than done. Being present is one of the
hardest thing for most people todo, myself included.
I get it. But what I have learned a lot
over the last year or two is that you really have to just

(32:17):
understand your purpose, know your direction, and then just
stay in the moment day-to-day. Because when you stay in the
moment day-to-day, you are goingto be consistently on your path,
being led by your purpose and going in the right direction.

(32:39):
Whether your goal happens in a month or a year or two years
matters far less than it happening period.
And I think if more of us focused on the goal just
happening rather than when the goal happens, I think we'd be a
lot more successful. Now, when it comes to fat loss,

(32:59):
we know that there is a lot of merit to having a timeline.
We can't diet forever. And there's also more effective
and less effective rates of fat loss that can occur and happen.
So when we look at fat loss, we do need to have a timeline.
Like that's a very smart thing, like body composition goals.
We should have a timeline, but we also need to understand that
that initial fat loss goal isn'tthe end goal really.

(33:21):
Like that's the milestone. That's like the the benchmark.
Maybe I want to lose 10 lbs, great.
But where do I want to be in a year or two?
Do I still want to have that £10off or do I want to gain muscle
and then lose again? Like there's a bigger picture.
Who do I want to be? What kind of body do I want to
live in? How do I want to perform?
What do I want to move? Like, what do I want to look
like? What do I want to feel like?
How do I want my energy to be? What do I want my digestion to

(33:41):
be? None of that stuff is going to
happen on a timeline. It's going to happen from
consistently hitting these benchmark targets and building
these benchmark habits that consistently move you forward.
So we have to focus more on moving forward than we do
thinking forward, if that makes sense.
And it's not that we can't thinkforward at all, because if you

(34:03):
don't think forward, then you are not going to go in the right
direction, plain and simple. So don't take this too
literally. Read between the lines a little
bit and zoom out and think. If I'm thinking too far forward,
people get so obsessed. For example, people get so
obsessed with like five year goals and like I'm going to like
in a business, I'm starting a business plan, I'm going to
write a five year goal business plan.

(34:24):
It's like, OK, great. Well, I can tell you that year
one when I started my business, I had an overall vision which
did come true and has been accomplished.
But my one year goal, three-yeargoal didn't end up happening in
one year or three goal. Some of them happened in far
less time. I think people underestimate
what they can accomplish in 90 days and they overthink what

(34:49):
they can accomplish in a year. So sometimes people will set
these outlandish goals for a year and it's like, yo, you're
going to, this is going to take way longer than that.
And then sometimes people play so small that they set these
year long goals and it's like, dude, if you just buckle up and
get moving, you can accomplish that in 90 days.
So having clear expectations anda clear vision is important.
But having this big vision, likeI had an initial big vision of

(35:10):
what Taylor coaching method was going to be, you know, that we
would have a facility and what kind of lifestyle I would live
and, and when I would be able todo what I want to do.
And most, if not all of it has been accomplished.
And the problem I faced was actually not recreating a bigger
vision until I already hit the vision.
And then there was this low period.
So I got to the vision and then I was like, now what?

(35:34):
And there was too much time in this.
Now what that I started getting,I mean, for like maternity,
honestly, it gives you some depression because you just, you
have lack of clarity. You don't know where you're
going or why you're doing thingsanymore if you don't think about
the bigger picture before it happens, right.
So if you have this big vision and it, it, that took me 4,
probably four or five years to accomplish.

(35:55):
Yeah, five years. So I had plenty of time between
year one and Year 5 to see the trend of growth and go, OK,
what's bigger than this? And it took me accomplishing the
goal and then feeling like I I've done it now what?
And being sad and woe is me before I finally like slapped
out myself out of it and said, OK, what is the big vision?

(36:16):
What is the bigger picture? Now I have a vision so big.
I have God knows how long it's going to take to accomplish it,
but that's OK. I got whole life, my whole life
to accomplish that shit. That's what it's supposed to be.
I have this big vision that's sobig I can't think too in depth
about the forward future. I have to just think about my
next step today, tomorrow, right?

(36:37):
And I think the more we can do that, the better you can have a
broadview. I have this big vision.
Who knows how long it's going totake.
I have a place that I want to hit by the end of the year.
I will know if we're going to hit it before the end of the
year and if we're not, of course, correct, to make sure we
accomplish as much as possible. And it's more realistic.
And when I know that we are going to accomplish what I
wanted by the end of the year, 'cause I think we will, I shift

(36:59):
gears and start thinking about what is the next thing while we
kind of roll through this one year goal.
And don't get me wrong, celebrate.
Do your thing. But Andrew Huberman has a
discussion about this with with regards to goal setting.
You're the process and dopamine.The dopamine is stronger and
more consistent when we have a goal that we're consistently

(37:19):
working to. When we have the goal, it's this
dump of dopamine and then there's something missing.
So it's actually really important to go, OK, I'm going
to set this goal and realize that the enjoyment, the
fulfillment, the dopamine that is going to keep me motivated.
That's happening as I go. It's during the journey and
before I get to the finish line,I need to re envision the next

(37:40):
finish line and keep moving so that I can continue living in
this state of fulfillment ratherthan letting it drop and then
having to recreate it, which is difficult.
OK. But knowing that I have to think
forward enough to keep moving inthe right direction and I have
to have this big vision where I just know like that's my North
star, I'm going to keep walking this way and then break it up.

(38:00):
I got like 90 day outcomes, month long goals.
Don't have this insane three-year in depth vision that
you're just so obsessed with the, the details of the path
that and it feels like you're never going to get there.
It's just so unmotivating. So anyway, I think that there's
these people that, and I've donethis before too, but there's
people that think so far forwardthat they, I mean, some get

(38:22):
anxiety and then some are sitting in the past.
But there's a lot of these people, whether we're talking
about our body or our business or our family, what we want to
accomplish, the money we want tosave our, our investments,
experiences, we want to have accomplishments in life,
whatever it may be. I think there's a lot of people
that think so far ahead and in so much detail that they just

(38:44):
can't stay present and they slowthemselves down.
So when I say pull you backwards, I think I really mean
slow you down. Forward thinking can slow you
down if you're not smart with it, right?
Because you're so focused on theparts ahead that you don't give
your all. And the moment you're in the
present moment and action you take and the intensity and

(39:04):
effort you put in that very moment suffers when you think
too much about the future, That's really what it boils
into. That's the lesson I learned, I
think. And this year especially, I just
thinking so much about the future.
I think it just helped me so much to just go, I'm going to

(39:25):
focus on today and just crush today.
And lo and behold, everything started getting better and
growing faster. You know, like it just, it's
inevitable. So anyway #4 you always have
time if you have purpose. The reason I wanted to put this
one is because I think there's this weird paradigm in our head
that we don't have enough time to do something.

(39:47):
And the problem is, is that we all have enough time.
We just don't have meaning or purpose behind what we're trying
to fit into our time. So I think it's much better to
just be open and transparent. It's either I don't want to make
time for that. Or I am going to make time for
that, right? Like when I prepped for my

(40:09):
bodybuilding show, the last bodybuilding show and my half
marathon and high rocks, all of them, my first thought is I
don't have time to train for this.
I don't know how I'm going to doit.
And that's what prevented me from doing it.
But when I made the commitment, I made the commitment knowing
why I was doing the thing and I had a lot of purpose and
intention behind it and I made time for all that stuff.

(40:31):
Training for an endurance event requires a lot of running and I
lift weights and I want to maintain muscle, which means I
was doing 2 days, which I had said I don't have time for two
days. Whoa.
I do. Getting on stage requires a lot
of cardio and a lot of meal prepand everything.
I don't have time to meal prep that much and I don't have time
to do that much cardio. By the end of the prep, I was
doing six days a week of 50 minutes every single day of

(40:54):
cardio, prepping every single meal seven days a week.
And I still got plenty of nothing.
Nothing bad happened. I didn't lose time with my
family. I didn't lose anything with the
business. We didn't lose money.
There was no issue. Like nothing burnt down.
Nothing bad happened. I didn't think I had time, but
really I made an excuse because I didn't want to give the thing

(41:17):
time, right? And this is, if you, it's so
much, I would rather somebody tell me this, even if I was
asking for some of their time, like, Yo, can you help me with
this or can you do this? Or do you want to meet up?
And it's if somebody looked at me and said, Hey, honestly, I
haven't seen my, my family as much as I would like to or like,
you know what, honestly, I just feel like hanging out with my

(41:38):
family this week. So it's not going to work, but
soon, dude, let's do it. I'll let you know when I have
time. I would be like, man, I respect
you a lot because you're prioritizing your family over
me. Who am I compared to your family
to you? Honestly, it's crazy.
But like the reality is, is thatwe get so worried about what
other people think. We would never do that.
And then we end up choosing themto make them feel OK.

(41:58):
And then our family suffers. I guess literally what happens.
And I got really good about thisa long time ago where I just
decided like, if it's not more important than family time to
me, then I'm literally just going to say no.
And I don't need to tell them why.
It's just a no. It's my time and the most
important thing to me is my family.
And honestly, two of the most important things to me outside
of my family are my business andmy training.

(42:20):
And I don't need to apologize toanybody for that.
That's my life and we all have those things in our lives and
the moment we give our time to somebody else instead of the
thing that we actually care about most and want for
ourselves is the moment we lose respect for ourselves and we
have resentment towards the person that took that time.
That person did nothing wrong. They didn't take or steal your

(42:43):
time. You willingly gave it to them
and then you resent them for it as if they did steal it 9 times
out of 10. If it's somebody you care about
too, they're not going to be madthat you said no, especially if
it's because you're prioritizingsomething that matters a lot to
you. They're going to respect you
more and love you more, and thenthey're going to actually value
the time with you even more too.Which is even better because
then when you do hang out and you do see each other, it is

(43:05):
much more special, right? We talk about like being present
during moments. It's so easy for me to not touch
my phone when I'm with people because I don't see other people
outside my family that often because I prioritize very
specific things. So when I do get time with a
friend or some other family I literally have 0 issue not
checking my phone once. If my phone starts vibrating my

(43:26):
wife's calling me and I need to answer it.
Otherwise it just stays in my pocket.
Notifications on my Garmin watchare off.
I don't get notifications on there.
So point being is the the time that you have meaning with and
there's purpose inside, you are going to cherish so much more.
And so you need to be able to look at your goals and have that
meaning with them. Because no matter what, success

(43:50):
in anything comes down to askingyourself whether or not you're
willing to do what it takes to get there.
So if I want to get on bodybuilding stage, if I want to
run a marathon, if I want to compete in high rocks, if I want
to build a business, if I want to build a specific relationship
with somebody, am I willing to do what it takes to do that,

(44:13):
accomplish that, build that? Am I willing to put in the time
and the effort, set the reminders, do the cardio, do the
prep, do the posing, drive out of the way to go meet them and
hang out with them and shoot them attacks and talk with them?
Like, are you willing to do that?
And there's no judgement if you're not, but you have to find

(44:35):
the things that you're willing to because at some point you're
going to look back and feel likeyou wasted time not
accomplishing your goals becauseyou gave your time everywhere
else instead of trying to work on your goals.
Because you have time. You're just not choosing to give
that time. And maybe that's because you
haven't attached a strong enoughwhy or meaning or purpose behind
the goal. Or it's because you're letting

(44:56):
your guilt pull you in the direction elsewhere and you're
ignoring your own goal to give your time to other people and
other things that don't matter nearly as much as you, because
you're afraid to say that doesn't matter as much to me.
But there's nothing wrong with that.
And I want you to think about this too.
This is a really good way of of understanding it because at some
point you will look back and just realize you wasted a lot of

(45:18):
time thinking you had none. But you won't remember what you
did with that time. So when I look back and I'm
like, I didn't have time to prepfor the Body Moon show.
And then once I had a strong reason why to do it, I made it
happen. I, I can't remember what I
sacrificed to do all that cardio.
Like I can't look back and go, man, I really missed out on
this, this, this. I stopped doing this.

(45:40):
I, I kicked this out of my life.I wish I wouldn't have done that
cardio or done that bodyguardingshow because of these things.
Also, I remember is the grind. I remember the time on the
treadmill. I remember the insights and the
lessons. I remember the content we got to
shoot the, the people that I inspired to go do their own
shows and do their own goals. I remember the thing.
I don't remember what I sacrificed to do it.
I know I did sacrifice things, but I didn't sacrifice what

(46:01):
matters most to me. So all's I remember is what
matters most to me. Same with my other preps, same
with my relationship, same with this business.
So like when you look back, you won't remember what you did.
And you can ask yourself right now, what did you do yesterday?
Hour for hour? What was the last Instagram post
that you saw? What was the last street sign
you saw? What was the last text message

(46:25):
you read and answered? Like most of those things,
unless it was a moment, like a life altering moment, you don't
remember. And those are all very common
things. You drive by signs all day, you
get texts all day. You see Instagram all day.
You don't remember any of them. The point is, you don't remember
a lot of shit. You have to really, really think
hard. But what you don't have to think
hard about is the things that matter and have meaning.

(46:48):
And you always have time for those.
So stop making excuses. Stop sacrificing and giving away
your time and energy elsewhere to things that don't matter as
much to you. And the fifth thing, the last
lesson for today that I have more so learned through years,
and I've always kind of known this, but I've really started
teaching other people this 'cause I think the lesson became

(47:10):
more clear. I think sometimes we learn
things, but we can't write down the lesson word for word.
And it's really, really stronglystuck stuck with me.
I don't think that's a word stuck with me.
And I've taught it to a lot of people.
Nothing becomes intuitive. So work on becoming intentional.
Intuitively, our minds kind of suck, like they really do, and

(47:30):
we constantly choose the opposite of what we really want.
We choose the negative and the bad, not the good and the
positive. And once we realize that this is
just how it is to be a human andit's always going to have to be
intentional, not intuitive, we win because it won't feel like
work forever. You develop discipline as you do
things you don't really feel like doing.

(47:50):
And once you get good at doing them and they don't become so
hard, it it's not really work. It's just what you do and it
feels fine, right? Brushing your teeth sucks when
you're a little kid and you don't want to brush your teeth.
And then you just keep doing it.And then eventually it's just
what you do. You don't dread it and it gets
you to where you want to be a good smile because nobody wants
buck teeth and yellow. Like nobody wants that plaque
everywhere and disgusting smile on a camera.

(48:12):
Like nobody wants that, right? So you do what you need to do to
get to where you want to do be. And as you're in that journey,
eventually it just becomes second nature and it's not
annoying anymore. It doesn't take work.
It just feels like what you do right And so intuitively, you
are never going to choose the right thing.
It's like when people tell, tellus, like coaching clients will

(48:33):
be like, I just need to stop wanting the pizza.
I got to stop craving wine at night.
I got to stop, you know, wantingto eat all the ice cream in my
freezer. No, you don't.
That's a very normal human thing.
And on top of that too, stuff like ice cream is literally
engineered to cause cravings. It's highly palatable food.

(48:54):
It's it's salty and sweet and sugary and fat and creamy.
It's all the sensations. And it doesn't even have to fill
you up with nutrients. It just has to give you calories
and it has to give you those sensations to trick your brain
into wanting more. So like, you're human.
It's normal, right? This is where you develop
self-control and self-discipline.
But like the point is, is instead of sitting here going, I

(49:15):
need to stop wanting these things.
Except that you're always going to want those things.
I'll always want pizza because Ilove pizza.
I won't always want chocolate, but I've never really loved
chocolate. I always do want sweet candy.
I love Skittles and Starbursts and stuff.
I'm like DK Metcalf, like I lovethat kind of stuff.
Gummy bears, Jelly beans, I always want it, but I don't

(49:36):
always choose to have it. And as I chose not to have it,
over time it became easier and easier and now it's just what I
do. My standard is I eat healthy and
so I don't indulge in candy right?
And every once in a while I enjoy some.
I always want it 24/7. If I see a bag of Skittles, I
want it. Of course I want it.
I want it right now, immediatelythinking about it, but what I do

(50:01):
is different than what I instantly want because I know
what I want long term. I know what I want most more
than what I want now, and I knowwhat my values and standards
are. So it keeps me on board.
But the point is that is not intuitive.
That's intentional. I have to see the Skittles and
then correct myself, which gets easier and quicker as time goes,

(50:23):
and be intentional. So I think this has been a game
changer for so many clients and it's just so helpful.
So many people, even in moments like road rage, somebody honks
you and flips you off the road. You're intuition intuitively, I
want to flip them off back and yell at my window, right.
Yesterday we were in my car. My wife uses I was maybe you're

(50:45):
like this too and I'm making funof you as well.
But I make fun of her for using like the talk to text.
So we're driving and it's like, do you want to reply, Shannon
Yes. And then the car says, what
would you like to say? And she's like, I didn't go
either. We were going to park, like, and
she starts talking to, you know,talk to text.
And I'm sitting there and this is like, this is crazy.

(51:06):
This is how childish I am. I wanted to yell poop because I
knew my daughter would laugh. And if you have a kid, you know,
like when I mean it, poop and farts are always funny.
But like, there's a certain age range where like poop is
everything. Every song changes to you like
poopy lyrics and everything's poop.
So I like, I wanted so badly I was going to yell poop so that
the text wrote poop in it. And then I was going to say I

(51:28):
love you at the end of it because I'd be weird for her to
say to this person at the end ofthe text.
And I literally was like preventing myself.
I was intentionally stopping myself because I knew it would
irritate my life. But intuitively I wanted to act
like a child and yell poop whileshe was doing a text.
Like that's ridiculous. It would have been funny, let's
be honest. But I have to be intentional

(51:48):
based on what I know is right. Well, if you choose what is
right for your body, right for your life, right for your
success, right for your morals, right for your standards, right
for your rules of life, you willalways have to be intentional.
Because you're intentionally creating these rules and
standards and expectations for yourself.
That's not intuitively you created them to be better than
what you already are because youknow intuitively you are not the

(52:08):
best version of yourself. So you intentionally create
rules and standards and expectations for yourself to be
better than you normally and naturally are.
And so the, the point is, is that the more I realized that my
intuition doesn't necessarily have to be good or perfect in
certain things. I just have to know what is
right, know what is good, know what is best for me and know

(52:30):
what my standards and expectations are.
And then I need to be intentional with my actions and
my words and my decisions based on those, not what I feel like.
And I think the more people can realize that you're, you know,
intuitively, you may never be super on point, but if you can
learn how to be more intentional, I think everything
you want to achieve can be achievable.

(52:52):
All right, guys, that's it. The five lessons I've learned
this year. Comparison isn't bad.
What and how you compare is. Advice and opinions are not the
same thing. Forward thinking can slow you
down and pull you backwards. You always have time as long as
you have purpose attached to what you're chasing and nothing
becomes intuitive. So just work on becoming

(53:12):
intentional. Thank you so much for listening
to this podcast. I love what I do and I love that
you are in this and a part of this with me.
I, I really, really mean it. Thank you so much for being
here. Thank you so much for being a
part of this journey with me. Leave a five star rating review
if you feel like this impacted you, Share it with a friend if
you think somebody can learn from this and make sure you're
subscribed to the podcast. If you're not, you should be.
It's really easy. Just hit subscribe.

(53:33):
You know, So is those five starsall that stuff?
It's easy. Comment if you're on Spotify, I
want to hear from you. Truly.
I can't, I can't say it enough. I really, really do appreciate
you listening. Thank you so much.
I'll catch you next time.

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#75 - 5 Mindset Shifts That Changed My Life (and How to Apply Them)

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}#75 - 5 Mindset Shifts That Changed My Life (and How to Apply Them)