The Hidden Benefits of Making Friends in Back-of-the-Pack Running

What if the true magic of ultra running isn't crossing the finish line first, but the friendships formed along the way? Join me, Richard Gleave, as I share the heartwarming tales and connections that flourish at the back of the pack. While the front runners might chase the clock, we savor each grueling mile, the camaraderie, and the shared struggle that transforms strangers into lifelong trail buddies. From cherishing aid station snacks together to conquering brutal climbs, these experiences create bonds you won't find anywhere else. Discover practical tips to break the ice with fellow runners and learn how these friendships can make the miles fly by with motivation and support.

We get into:

• Emphasizing the back of the pack as a perfect environment for connection 
• Simple strategies for breaking the ice in conversations 
• Importance of motivation and support from trail friends 
• Maintaining connections post-race for long-lasting friendships 
• 4 Key takeaways for creating effective partnerships on the trail

Support the show

Choose to Endure:
Email:
[e-mail]

Website:
https://www.choosetoendure.com/

YouTube:
https://www.youtube.com/@ChoosetoEndure

Instagram:
https://instagram.com/choose_to_endure?utm_source=qr

Facebook:
https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61552757049526

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hello and welcome.
Thank you so much for stoppingby.
You have found the Choose toEndure podcast, which is a show
dedicated to theback-of-the-pack runners, where
we share stories, interviews,gear and training tips specific
to the tail-end heroes of theUltra universe.

(00:22):
My name is Richard Gleave.
I have been running ultra since2017.
I've taken on and finishednumerous ultra distances, all
the way up through 220 miles,and I'm very much a member of
the back of the pack posse, justlike a lot of you are.
In this episode, we're going totalk about something different

(00:42):
that I don't think too manypeople are talking about out
there, something that can makeyour ultra running experience
even more rewarding and maybeeven get you to the finish line
of a race, and that is makingfriends at the back of the pack.
If you've spent time at theback, you already know it's

(01:02):
where the best stories, thestrongest camaraderie and some
of the most incredible peoplecan be found.
But starting a conversationmid-race or forging those
connections can feel reallyintimidating at first,
especially for somebody who is abit of an introvert like me.
So in this episode, I willshare some tips that I jotted

(01:27):
down for building friendshipsduring races the benefits of
connecting with others out onthe trail and some stories of
how those friendships haveenriched my own running journey
along the years.
Whether you're looking forsupport during tough miles or
you just want to make your timeon the course a bit more

(01:48):
enjoyable, this episode,hopefully, will show you how to
turn strangers into trailbuddies.
Let's get going.
Discover raw, inspiring storiesfrom runners who've been right
where you are.
This is the Choose to EndureUltra Running Podcast with your

(02:08):
host.
He's English, not Australian,richard Gleave.
Okay, tip topic strategy numberone, whatever you want to call
it.
Why the back of the pack isreally perfect for connections.
It's definitely the ideal placeto make friends, unlike the

(02:32):
front of the pack, where runnersare often hyper-focused on
competition.
The back of the pack, wherewe're at, it's all about the
journey.
We are out there for hours, asyou'll know, sometimes days,
pushing through challenges,cheering each other on and
driving that shared experience.

(02:54):
This creates a fairly naturalenvironment for connection to
take place.
When you're back of the pack,it's not unusual to fall into
step with someone who's movingalong at just your pace for
miles and miles at a time.
And it's those shared momentswhether you're laughing about a

(03:18):
blister or commiserating over abrutal climb.
Those are the times that reallycreate a bond and it's really
hard to replicate that anywhereelse.
I know I've run many raceswhere I have found myself
running alongside another runnerfor a long stretch during a hot

(03:39):
day or through the middle ofthe night, where both of us or
more than one of us at times are.
We're all struggling.
But we've started chattingabout favorite races, our
families, why we love doingultras, some of the challenges
we're having.
By the time you get to the nextaid station we're not just race

(04:01):
acquaintances.
Suddenly we've become friends.
But strategy number two heremaking friends during a race can
start with those simpleconversations.
But how do you break the icewithout feeling awkward in the
middle of an event?
So here are some easy ways tostart talking.

(04:22):
And for some of you extrovertsout there, this might be a more
natural thing and you'rethinking what the heck are we
talking about?
But there are people out therelike me who need a bit of help
break in that ice.
So for those folks, maybe hereare some thoughts.
Comment on the moment, sharesomething about the trail or the

(04:43):
weather, or the aid stationsnacks.
This climb is pretty brutal,isn't it?
Or those peanut buttersandwiches back there were
lifesavers.
Maybe ask about the raceexperience.
A simple is this your firsttime running this race or maybe
how's your day going?
It can really open the door toa much longer conversation,

(05:05):
depending on the answer that youget, from whomever it is you're
talking to word.
You know you're doing great.
We got this.
Let me help you.
Do you need any help?
Those sorts of things can go along way to kicking up a

(05:25):
conversation and once thatconversation starts, just let it
flow.
Naturally.
You don't have to do something.
It will come.
Talk about your favorite race,talk about why you're running or
even, as I have done in races,just get into some random life
stories.
Sometimes it's good to talkabout those things with somebody
totally impartial and get somefeedback.
It's those connections, andsometimes the best connections

(05:48):
come from those unexpectedtopics.
I know, at 150 miler I did Inoticed a runner wearing a shirt
from a race I'd done before andI was like, hey, I ran that
race last year.
How do you like it?
You know that one commentsparked a conversation and that
conversation carried us througha bunch of really tough, gnarly

(06:09):
uphill miles.
But what are really the benefitsof making friends on the trail.
It's all right making friends,but surely there are benefits,
and there are.
Having trail buddies out therecan make a massive difference,
particularly during those harderparts of the race.
Firstly, on motivation whenyou're struggling, a friend's

(06:32):
encouragement can keep youmoving forward.
Even just knowing somebody iswith you can make tough sections
feel more manageable.
Knowing that somebody is goingthrough what you're going
through and they seem okay,they're still here.
We haven't all keeled over anddied, it's all good.
Just being around other peopleis great.
And then there's the sharedproblem solving.

(06:55):
So, from gear malfunctions tofinding the right trail markers
if somebody has moved them or ananimal has got them, two heads
are definitely better than one,especially if you're in the
middle of the night and you'vegot fatigue going on and you're
falling asleep.
Friends can help you navigatechallenges you might not be able

(07:16):
to tackle alone, and that's whyin races, paces can be really
helpful for you as well.
But if you don't have a paceror the race isn't long enough
for a pacer, just purenavigation, two heads always
better than one.
And then the friendships youmake on the trail often extend
beyond the race.

(07:37):
Many of my closest ultrafriends are people I met during
races and we still connect, westill support each other, we're
still out on the socialstracking where we're all at, and
we still get together and talkabout the races, the trauma that
we experienced together in ourrunning and beyond that in life.

(07:59):
During a particularly gruelingrace with terrible weather, I
teamed up with two other runnersfor the overnight stretch, kept
each other motivated, sharedsnacks, and then, when we got to
the finish line, they hungaround.
They were a little before me.
They hung around and cheered asI came over the finish line,

(08:19):
and for me that was a reminderthat ultras aren't really just
about individual achievement.
They're about a sharedexperience, particularly for us
at the back of the pack.
You can share that experiencewith a crew, you can share it
with a pacer, you can share itwith your family if they meet
you at the start and or finishline, and you can share it with

(08:44):
other racers that you are outthere on the course with.
So make sure to make somefriends.
So you've made a connection onthe trail.
Now what?
How do you turn a race dayacquaintance into a more lasting
friendship?
Well, definitely make sure youexchange contact info, if that's

(09:05):
available, if you have theopportunity At the end of the
race or even after the race insome context.
If you know the bib number orname of the runner you were
chatting with, you can go lookthem up after the race, ask if
they're on social media, ask ifthey'd like to stay in touch.
Many runners are happy toconnect, send a message after

(09:25):
the race, say congratulations,share a photo, a joint selfie or
whatever it was you took.
This can also open the door tofuture conversations and then
maybe you can plan future runsor races.
Particularly if you hit it off,you could suggest running
together again, meeting up atanother race if if you guys are
both local, shared goals helpstrengthen the bond that you've

(09:49):
created during these races.
After one race, I reached outto a runner I spent hours with
during a particularly roughsection.
We started chatting prettyregularly and eventually we
ended up signing up for anotherrace together and that
connection has turned into afriendship, and that has lasted
for many years, I would say.
So it really is useful to makean effort to talk to people and

(10:16):
make friends at ultra events ifthey're willing to talk to you.
Not everybody is willing totalk to you and that's okay, but
many are and, if they'rewilling, definitely take the
opportunity to make a new friend.
Back to those key takeaways.
Back to those key takeaways.

(10:38):
Number one back of the pack,natural place for connections,
because it really is all aboutthe journey, not the competition
, except for those cutoffs.
Watch those cutoffs.
Maybe you can join up with yournew friend to make it to, and
or continue to beat the cutoffs.
Number two starting aconversation is easier than you
think.
Comment on the moment.
Ask about a race experience,offer encouragement.

(10:59):
For some of you you'll berolling your eyes like this is
basic stuff, right, and forothers, like me, who's an
introvert, I need guidance onhow to open up a conversation in
the middle of a race.
Number three trail friendshipscan provide motivation, support
and a sense of community, all ofwhich can carry you through

(11:20):
really tough moments and beyond.
And number four of thesuggestions maintain those
connections after the race.
Follow up, stay in touch, maybeplan future adventures together
.
Making friends at the back ofthe pack isn't just a nice idea.
It's not just about passingtime.
It's about actively looking towork and build relationships

(11:46):
with people of a similar mindsetthat can enrich your ultra
running journey and really,beyond that, your life in
general.
So the next time you're out onthe trail and you find yourself
running in close proximity tosomebody else, don't be afraid

(12:06):
to say hello.
You never know who you mightmeet.
If these strategies resonatewith you and you're ready to
take the next step in afriendship journey of your own,
maybe consider keeping theconversation going.
Do you have a favorite strategyfor making a friend out on the

(12:29):
trail that you think othersshould know about or benefit
from?
Maybe something that I haven'tdiscussed here about or benefit
from?
Maybe something that I haven'tdiscussed here?
Join the conversation and feelfree to share in the comments or
throw a post on some socialmedia pages.
While you're out browsing theinternet, don't forget to
subscribe to the show.

(12:49):
That way, you get notified eachtime one of our new episodes
drops, and if you haven't had amoment to do so yet, definitely
consider hitting follow, ratingthe show and if you're getting
something of value, leave areview and let others know.
That would mean the world to mefor sure, but your support helps

(13:14):
grow the podcast.
It helps connect more runnersto this fantastic ultra
community that exists out thereand spreads the word to those
who could benefit frominformation like this that we're
sharing.
You can find the show here onInstagram and Facebook at Choose
to Endure, or visit us anytimeat ChooseToEndurecom.

(13:37):
I would absolutely love to hearfrom you, whether it's just to
say hello, whether you want toshare a topic or you have a
story of your own to share.
You can also email me directlyat info at ChooseToEndurecom.
Love getting those emails.
In fact, interacting withlisteners, just like you, is one

(13:58):
of my favorite parts of doingthis show, so don't be afraid to
reach out if that's somethingyou want to do.
So until next time, run long,run strong, get out there and
make a friend on the trail andkeep choosing to endure together
.