September 4, 2025 • 24 mins
What does choosing joy really mean when you’re living through pain, pressure, or exhaustion? In this deeply personal solo episode, Choosing Joy host Deborah Joy Winans Williams sits down—not as an actress or celebrity, but as herself—to answer your questions, share her heart, and reflect on what joy looks like when it’s uncomfortable, spiritual, and hard-won.
Deborah opens up about motherhood, mental health, faith, grief, self-worth, and how she learned (and is still learning) to choose joy daily—not just on stage, but in real life. From the lessons of her Winans family legacy to her girls' trip epiphany with Merle Dandridge to the quiet prayers that sustain her, this episode is a soulful, grounding invitation to go deeper.
Whether you’re a woman of faith, an artist in progress, a mother in motion, or just someone trying to pour from a not-so-full cup—Deborah’s raw honesty and wisdom remind us that joy isn’t a mood... it’s a decision.
Chapters
00:00 – What Choosing Joy Means to Me
01:00 – Unpacking My Relationship with Joy
03:00 – What Life Has Taught Me About Grace
05:00 – The Power of Choosing Yourself
07:00 – A Girls' Trip That Changed Everything
09:00 – How My Faith Guides My Work
11:00 – My Morning Routine of Gratitude
13:00 – 6AM Prayer, Grandma Winans, and Simplicity
15:00 – Staying Grounded in a Chaotic World
17:00 – What My Family’s Legacy Taught Me
19:00 – How My Uncle Bebe Changed My Perspective
21:00 – Seeing People as Ministry
23:00 – Navigating Motherhood, Germs & Balance
25:00 – Rest, Vitamins, Vaseline & Olly Multis
27:00 – Playing Charity on Greenleaf
29:00 – Grace for Imperfection & Finding Your Way
31:00 – Advice for Young Women in Music & Acting
33:00 – Final Reflections & Your Invitation to Joy
#DeborahJoyWinansWilliams #ChoosingJoyPodcast #GreenleafCharity #BlackWomenInFaith #JoyIsAChoice #FaithAndMotherhood #ChristianWomenPodcast #WomenInEntertainment #HealingWithGod #SoulfulStorytelling
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
When I think of choosing joy, I think of choosing wellness.
Speaker 2 (00:04):
Here's a word from our sponsor.
Speaker 1 (00:06):
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Speaker 2 (00:09):
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Speaker 1 (00:11):
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Ali makes wellness an easy and delightful part of your routine.
Need immune support, kids will enjoy. Try the kids Multi
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(00:35):
more with Women's Multi. Grab these products at Ali dot
com or retailers nationwide. That's Olly dot Com. Choosing joy
means choosing myself. I think a lot of times as women,
we forget to look and see what we need. We're
always trying to fill someone else's cup. And if we
(00:57):
don't fill our own, if we don't choose ourselves, than
we are pouring from an empty cup. Hi, everybody, I
am Devorah Joy Wining's Williams and this is choosing joy.
And first of all, I just want to say thank you,
(01:19):
thank you so much for listening, thank you so much
for watching.
Speaker 2 (01:24):
It has really been an uncomfortable joy bringing this to you.
Speaker 1 (01:30):
Choosing joy from me has been a process. It's been
a journey, and I have had to learn how to
love the journey, and I think that has made life
that much more enjoyable.
Speaker 2 (01:43):
I didn't know joy was a choice growing up.
Speaker 1 (01:47):
I didn't understand how to create, manifest and live in
joy in my life. And it's interesting because I think
that while joy is my name, it's my middle name.
I've always thought it's been a gift to sort of
walk in and be happy, but still not be super
(02:12):
happy on the inside. I think that that is something
which with the way I grew up, I learned to
sort of mask. I learned to sort of put under
the rug. I learned to just keep moving and not
worry about it or not deal with it and just
(02:32):
be happy. And that is not what God has called
us to be. It has taken just living life, you know,
as the old folks used to say, And I think
I'm getting to that point. It's so funny the old
folks used to say in church, just keep living, baby,
and honey. When you keep living, you realize so many things.
(02:52):
You realize that life is not just black and white.
There's so much gray, even when you have faith. As
you keep living, you learn to not judge. You learn
to pray for people more, you learn to see them
in a different way, because you too have had many
(03:13):
a mistake, have many times where you have fallen or faltered,
And just because everybody didn't see it, doesn't mean God
didn't and it doesn't mean that it didn't happen, and
it doesn't mean that it didn't weigh you down.
Speaker 2 (03:26):
And so for me, being.
Speaker 1 (03:28):
A woman of faith, I love the Lord with all
my heart and that is my foundation trying to find
joy in the midst of mistakes or mishaps or having
done something that makes me feel ashamed.
Speaker 2 (03:44):
How do I move forward? How do I get up
and how do I.
Speaker 1 (03:47):
Do that in this life in a way that is real, authentic,
not acting like something didn't happen, but also not allowing
it to make me feel like I'm less than what
God has created me to be. So that has been
the journey, and I think when choosing joy became a
real thing for me, it's about sharing that journey, and
(04:12):
it's about continuing to learn, being a student forever and
figuring out how to continue to find the joy every
day in life, because I think that's what God has
called us to do. He's called us to live an
abundant life, a joyful life. It does not mean life
won't be hard, but it does mean we can find
(04:33):
that joyful perspective through it all. It's very difficult, and
so I wanted to first of all, thank you for
tuning in. And I wanted to see if you guys
had some questions for me about my journey about life.
Speaker 2 (04:47):
Anything you wanted to know.
Speaker 1 (04:48):
We asked and using some questions and so they're written
here and we're going to get into it.
Speaker 2 (04:55):
But truly, truly.
Speaker 1 (04:56):
Thank you from the bottom of my heart. This is
an uncomfortable joy for me. I am sitting here as me, myself,
and I not a character, not someone just written on
a page for me to portray. This is me and
I'm grateful to be here to allow you to see
(05:19):
who deporh joy Winan's Williams is. I am a woman
who loves the Lord. I am a wife, I am
a mom, I am a performer.
Speaker 2 (05:30):
And this is real life.
Speaker 1 (05:31):
So how do we keep going in real life with
a smile on our face? So now it's time to
get into your questions. I hope y'all didn't send anything crazy.
We're going to see.
Speaker 2 (05:42):
The first question is what does choosing joy mean to you?
And how do you choose joy?
Speaker 1 (05:48):
Choosing joy means myriad things. To me, choosing joy means
choosing myself. I think a lot of times, as women,
we forget get to look and see what we need.
We're always trying to fill someone else's cup. And if
we don't fill our own, if we don't choose ourselves,
(06:09):
then we are pouring from an empty cup. And then
that brings about irritation, frustration, and it doesn't allow for
actual joy to be seen and felt. And so I
think for me, choosing joy means thinking about me, choosing
me and choosing to understand what I need to be
my best in the world that day. And how do
(06:31):
I do that. I I look at what I've got
going on. First of all, I wake up and I
just say thank you Lord. And that's something that I
tell my son as we're raising my three year old
almost four year old, when we go to bed and
when we wake up, it's thank you Lord, thank you
for waking me up today. And I think when you
open your eyes and you start with gratitude on your mouth,
(06:53):
it sets the tone for your day. So that's a
way of choosing joy. I I wake up and I say,
thank you Lord that I am, that I'm here, that
I'm alive, and well, I choose joy by praying, by
looking at what I've got going on that day and saying,
all right, Lord, I.
Speaker 2 (07:12):
Know I've got this, and then You've got the rest.
Speaker 1 (07:14):
I think a lot of times we ask God for
things and then we.
Speaker 2 (07:19):
Just wait for him to do it.
Speaker 1 (07:21):
And the Bible says faith without works is dead. And
so my faith is that God is going to do
everything for me that I cannot do myself. And so
I got to put the work in. So I look
at what I have to do, I put that work in,
and then I trust that God's got the rest, and
then I just I thank him. I thank him for
my family. I spend time with my son, I spend
(07:42):
time with my husband, I spend time with my friends.
It took me into my thirties, and you can ask
Merle Dandridge this. She played my sister on Green Leaf
and I was I think thirty three, thirty two or
thirty three when I had my first girl's trip and
(08:02):
it was with her, and I had no idea the
fulfillment I would get out of just going somewhere and
hanging out with my girls. I mean, my cup was full.
There was so much joy, laughter, peace, And when you
do it with the right people. You can't travel with everybody.
Understand that, because that can make your trip a disaster.
(08:25):
But knowing that something with my girls was such a
joyful thing, I came back ready to just conquer the world.
And so that's also a piece of choosing joy. Understanding
who you are and what you need, and being okay
with that. I think that's how I do it okay.
(08:47):
Question number two, how does your faith affect the way
you tell stories?
Speaker 2 (08:53):
That's a good one.
Speaker 1 (08:54):
How does your faith affect the way you tell stories? Honestly, uh,
I don't think that it does. I think that as
an actor, which is really funny. I'm gonna help you
all out because I do have a very big family
and there's a lot of Deborah's in my family. I
am Deborah Joy. I did not start off singing. Acting
(09:16):
has always been my love and my passion. I got
my BFA from Wayne State University shout out Detroit, Michigan.
I went and spent a month in Moscow at the
Moscow Art Theater School, and then I moved to LA
and got my Masters of Fine Arts in Acting from
California Institute of the Arts. So as an actor, a
trained actor, I fall into the character. So it's not
(09:41):
my faith that's telling the story. So it doesn't really
affect how I tell stories at all. If it is
a role that I've said yes to, that means I
feel good about it. That means my husband feels good
about it.
Speaker 2 (09:58):
And to check we need how I'm grown woman, okay,
you know. And if the Lord.
Speaker 1 (10:06):
Checks my spirit or makes me feel something about when
I'm reading it and I shouldn't accept it, then I won't.
Speaker 2 (10:12):
But if I have accepted it, my.
Speaker 1 (10:14):
Faith is not a part of the story I'm telling
unless it's written into the role. Uh. My faith comes
in with what I'm taking. My faith comes in with
how I am on set. That is where my faith
comes in. My faith comes in from trusting that God
is showing me favor and my name is being spoken
(10:37):
in rooms that I'm not in.
Speaker 2 (10:39):
My faith is knowing that.
Speaker 1 (10:41):
This is what God has called me to do, and
so He's going to continue to make away and open
doors for me as I do what I'm supposed to do.
That's where my faith comes in. How I'm treating people
at work, at home, when I'm driving. I used to
have road rage. Now you know it was here. It's here.
That's where my faith comes in, making sure I am
(11:04):
doing the right thing regardless of who's watching, because I
know God is watching, and my number one goal is
to make sure I am spreading the love of God.
So it doesn't necessarily come in with telling the story
as an actor. It comes in as Debra Joy Winings
Williams the person, and how I'm relating to everybody else
on set, offset, behind the screen, whatever.
Speaker 2 (11:26):
That is where my faith comes in.
Speaker 1 (11:28):
When I think of choosing joy, I think of choosing wellness.
Speaker 2 (11:32):
Here's a word from our sponsor.
Speaker 1 (11:34):
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Speaker 2 (11:41):
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Speaker 1 (11:43):
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(12:07):
Or retailers nationwide. That's Olly dot com.
Speaker 2 (12:12):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (12:12):
Question number three, what daily habits help you find peace
and happiness?
Speaker 2 (12:18):
Oh? What daily habits?
Speaker 1 (12:21):
I think that my wake up routine, my gratitude, my prayer,
my reading scripture, those are things that really ground me
for my day, for life. I think that life is
very difficult, y'all. Life twenty twenty five is some stuff.
(12:42):
Life has been lifing in this year alone, and so
knowing that life is going to life, I think you
have to have a routine that grounds you no matter what,
so that you can take whatever is coming your way.
Because something is coming, you know, that's that's what it is.
But how do we take it, How do we react
to it? How are we prepared for it? And so
(13:04):
I think for me finding peace and happiness in a
routine that allows me to handle whatever's coming because stopping
is not an option, Quitting is not an option. Throwing
in the towel is not an option. I have a husband,
I have a son, and I have people that God
has allowed to look up to me and to see
(13:28):
that there is a way to achieve the things that
you want to achieve. And so I can't just throw
in the towel. And I think that my routine of
trusting God on a daily basis, it can't just be
every Sunday or every Tuesday night Bible study.
Speaker 2 (13:46):
It has to be every day. I have learned every day,
I gotta say thank you Lord every day.
Speaker 1 (13:51):
I gotta pray every day. I gotta find out what
the scripture is for the day, even if it's just
you start with five minutes. I learned that prayer doesn't
have to be this long monologue full of all of
the sat words. Ever in life, that's what I used
to think. And then I went to prayer and I
(14:14):
sat next to my grandma. Oh, I love my grandma Whinings.
She was sitting on the bench and I was knelt
next to her. And it was six am prayer.
Speaker 2 (14:22):
Y'all. First of all, like, who does that?
Speaker 1 (14:26):
Why did our parents make us wake up at six
am prayer?
Speaker 2 (14:30):
Oof?
Speaker 1 (14:31):
But I am grateful looking back because I sat next
to my grandma, or I knelt next to her, and
I listened to her pray, and I thought, well.
Speaker 2 (14:41):
I know she saved and that's all I gotta do.
That's how I can talk to God. And I learned
it's as simple as just saying thank you, Lord, thank
you for waking me up. Thank you for my family.
Speaker 1 (14:54):
Thank you for great life, great health, great strength, thank
you for mind to want to be saved. Thank you
for all of the things that you have provided for me.
Thank you that you're always there. It's simple, and I've
learned that making that a part of my foundation and
routine allows me to find peace, allows me to find
(15:14):
happiness regardless of what's going on in the world, and
America's crazy right now, and regardless of all of that,
I'm still able to find peace and happiness because of
that steady routine of trusting God.
Speaker 2 (15:28):
If that's my foundation, I can keep going regardless. Will
y'all got me preaching today? I don't know y'all's gonna
have me these questions?
Speaker 1 (15:35):
Okay, Question number four, How has your family's musical background
influenced your career?
Speaker 2 (15:47):
So, I'm a fan.
Speaker 1 (15:48):
They are my family, but I am a fan of
the Whining's family. I think they are some of the
most singingest people on this planet.
Speaker 2 (15:58):
And I don't care. You can call whatever you want
to call it.
Speaker 1 (16:01):
Them Jokers can sing like there's no tomorrow, and I
put that on everything Okay, it's a background of work.
It's a background of entertainment. I got to go to
a lot of things as a young lady growing up,
so I got to meet a lot of people. I
got to understand the way the entertainment industry worked. I
got to see how they moved. I got to see
how their faith shaped how they moved in this industry.
(16:26):
And so that influenced who I wanted to be and
how I wanted to move, and how I wanted to
be seen. And even when I moved out to la
for grad school, my uncle Biebe would come out here
a lot, and we spent a lot of time together,
and I saw firsthand how he treated everybody, how the
dorman at the hotel loved him, how the valet at
(16:49):
the hotels loved him.
Speaker 2 (16:50):
Everywhere he went.
Speaker 1 (16:52):
He saw the people, He spoke to the people, he
knew their names.
Speaker 2 (16:57):
And it's so important. I think that a lot of people.
Speaker 1 (17:01):
Particularly in the religious community, forget that ministry means people.
Speaker 2 (17:09):
And so if we're walking by all these people every
day and not seeing them and taking notice of them, we're.
Speaker 1 (17:16):
Missing opportunities to be who God is meant for us
to be in this world. To people, and so I
saw that firsthand and it really changed my perspective on
life and how to see the world and how to
be the light I'm meant to be, not just in
the rooms I'm trying to get in, but in everyday life.
(17:37):
That's what leads you to be prepared for whatever room
God allows you to walk into. So yeah, that's how
their background has influenced my career. It's just I think
allowed me to see things at an early age and
be able to step.
Speaker 2 (17:52):
Into this.
Speaker 1 (17:54):
In a way that I truly feel and believe has
been pleasing to God because that's my number one goal.
Speaker 2 (18:00):
So yeah, that's how it's influenced me.
Speaker 1 (18:02):
Great question question number five, How do you stay healthy
and well with a busy schedule and balance being a
performer mom and a person of faith.
Speaker 2 (18:13):
Look, y'all is rough.
Speaker 1 (18:17):
Especially with a three year old. They go to school
and collect germs. It's like it's like they go to
the bowels of the earth to find the nastiest stuff
and then they bring it home to you. Then they
cough it in your face, they put it on your hands,
they rub it on your clothes. It's like, what are
y'all doing? And why where did you get this? How
(18:39):
did you get this? And then they keep moving like
they're not affected. Meanwhile I'm struggling, can't hardly breathe, snot
all up my nose.
Speaker 2 (18:49):
It's a mess.
Speaker 1 (18:50):
So how do I stay healthy and well? I don't
all the time. It's a struggle with.
Speaker 2 (18:55):
A three year old, I am telling.
Speaker 1 (18:57):
Y'all, but I try by my vitamins, my multi vitamins.
Ali is amazing with their multi vitamins for moms, for dads,
the probiotics for kids. And then when I need that
little joker to go to sleep, that kids sleep works
like a charm. And that's part of the balance. Balancing work,
(19:19):
being a performer, also balancing being a mom and a wife.
Those are all different hats, and so making sure my
baby go to sleep so that I can have some
time for myself, so I can figure out who I
am and what I'm trying to be and what I
need to do for the next twenty minutes before I
fall asleep. That's it's vitamins. It's a regano. I found
(19:41):
out oregano oil is really good for you. It's a
lot of vitamin C and sleep y'all. Sometimes you just
lay down.
Speaker 2 (19:52):
And go to sleep. Go to sleep.
Speaker 1 (19:55):
And back in the day it was ginger ale and vasiline.
So now all you need to do is add some
Ali multi vitamins, get you some ginger ale, get you
some vasoline, and lay your butt down. Stop doing so
much like rest. We need to rest. Isn't that a commandment?
Like lay down?
Speaker 2 (20:15):
That's how you do it, That's how I do it,
and that's what you can do. Praise the Lord. M
let's see, let's see, let's see.
Speaker 1 (20:24):
Okay Ooh and I knew green Leaf was going to
rear its head ontoday. What was it like playing someone
so out of control as Charity?
Speaker 2 (20:37):
And did you learn anything from her? Charity?
Speaker 1 (20:42):
Oh, sweet Charity. I loved playing Charity. I think that
Charity was very complex.
Speaker 2 (20:52):
I think that.
Speaker 1 (20:54):
She said the things that we all wanted to say
but would never say in real life.
Speaker 2 (20:59):
I think she did some of the things.
Speaker 1 (21:01):
That we kind of want to do but we probably
shouldn't do if we don't want people to think we're crazy.
Speaker 2 (21:06):
I think that she was real. I think that she.
Speaker 1 (21:10):
Lived her feelings and her heart just right out in
the open. She was unafraid to say what she was
thinking to tell you how she was feeling, and then
if you didn't take her seriously, she did what she
wanted to do or needed to do.
Speaker 2 (21:24):
She was a woman falling apart. She was a woman
that was hurt.
Speaker 1 (21:28):
She was a woman that had to take time to
figure out how to choose herself, how to fall in
love with herself. And so being on that journey with her,
I loved it because it also changed me.
Speaker 2 (21:44):
You know. I think that charity allowed you to see
even when you make mistakes, there's grace.
Speaker 1 (21:53):
Even when you go down the wrong road, you can
still find your way back.
Speaker 2 (21:59):
All you got to do is keep going.
Speaker 1 (22:00):
She was just this imperfect person, as we all are,
and it's beautiful to see someone like that finally figure
it out. And so I love that we got to
see a beginning, a middle, and an end of a
woman who was young, naive, hurt, became a mom, made
(22:23):
some questionable choices, and then in the end found her faith,
fell in love with herself, and was able to be
everything she needed to be. So, yeah, she was complex.
I learned from her. I grew from her, and I
hope that you all.
Speaker 2 (22:42):
Grew from her. It was it was a joy playing her.
Speaker 1 (22:46):
Okay, one more question. We have time for one more question. Okay,
we'll do this. What advice do you have for young
women starting in music or acting? What advice do you
have for young women starting in music or acting?
Speaker 2 (23:02):
Give it everything you have. If this is the.
Speaker 1 (23:06):
Gift that God has given you, use every gift that
he has given you. Work on every gift that He's
given you. Don't just hope that you find yourself in
the right place at the right time. No, no, no,
that you have to be prepared for wherever you feel
like God is taking you.
Speaker 2 (23:23):
So work it, work your gift, work your.
Speaker 1 (23:26):
Talent, and then when you are in the rooms, you
show up. You show up ready, you show up on time,
You show up prepared, and trust that you're enough. You
do all the work that you can do, and trust
that that is enough.
Speaker 2 (23:42):
You are enough.
Speaker 1 (23:42):
The way God has created you is enough. And when
you do your work, God does his and the rest
is history.
Speaker 2 (23:50):
That's my advice. Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you.
Speaker 1 (23:56):
This is so uncomfortable for me, but I love being
able to answer your questions, to be able to come
to you as I am and trust that I'm saying
something that.
Speaker 2 (24:07):
Might be helpful. And if you have other questions or
you want me.
Speaker 1 (24:09):
To tackle different subjects or situations, please write them in.
Please subscribe, click the like button, Send us your questions,
send us your thoughts.
Speaker 2 (24:20):
We are here trying to create a platform that.
Speaker 1 (24:23):
Will give you answers, that will give you hope, that
will give you joy in the midst of this life
that we're living. We want the journey to be full
of joy. So think about the joyful journey, not just
the destination.
Speaker 2 (24:37):
And we're here for you, and we are here hoping
that you continue to choose joy with us. So thank you,
thank you, thank you, thank you, and keep choosing joy.
When I think of choosing joy, I think of choosing wellness.
Speaker 2 (00:04):
Here's a word from our sponsor.
Speaker 1 (00:06):
We know the back to school chaos all too well.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
Schedules, car pools.
Speaker 1 (00:11):
Relearning algebra two. That's a lot for you and your crew.
Ali makes wellness an easy and delightful part of your routine.
Need immune support, kids will enjoy. Try the kids Multi
Probiotic is bedtime of struggle. Go with kids, sleep for
gentle support and moms support your immune system, nutrition and
(00:35):
more with Women's Multi. Grab these products at Ali dot
com or retailers nationwide. That's Olly dot Com. Choosing joy
means choosing myself. I think a lot of times as women,
we forget to look and see what we need. We're
always trying to fill someone else's cup. And if we
(00:57):
don't fill our own, if we don't choose ourselves, than
we are pouring from an empty cup. Hi, everybody, I
am Devorah Joy Wining's Williams and this is choosing joy.
And first of all, I just want to say thank you,
(01:19):
thank you so much for listening, thank you so much
for watching.
Speaker 2 (01:24):
It has really been an uncomfortable joy bringing this to you.
Speaker 1 (01:30):
Choosing joy from me has been a process. It's been
a journey, and I have had to learn how to
love the journey, and I think that has made life
that much more enjoyable.
Speaker 2 (01:43):
I didn't know joy was a choice growing up.
Speaker 1 (01:47):
I didn't understand how to create, manifest and live in
joy in my life. And it's interesting because I think
that while joy is my name, it's my middle name.
I've always thought it's been a gift to sort of
walk in and be happy, but still not be super
(02:12):
happy on the inside. I think that that is something
which with the way I grew up, I learned to
sort of mask. I learned to sort of put under
the rug. I learned to just keep moving and not
worry about it or not deal with it and just
(02:32):
be happy. And that is not what God has called
us to be. It has taken just living life, you know,
as the old folks used to say, And I think
I'm getting to that point. It's so funny the old
folks used to say in church, just keep living, baby,
and honey. When you keep living, you realize so many things.
(02:52):
You realize that life is not just black and white.
There's so much gray, even when you have faith. As
you keep living, you learn to not judge. You learn
to pray for people more, you learn to see them
in a different way, because you too have had many
(03:13):
a mistake, have many times where you have fallen or faltered,
And just because everybody didn't see it, doesn't mean God
didn't and it doesn't mean that it didn't happen, and
it doesn't mean that it didn't weigh you down.
Speaker 2 (03:26):
And so for me, being.
Speaker 1 (03:28):
A woman of faith, I love the Lord with all
my heart and that is my foundation trying to find
joy in the midst of mistakes or mishaps or having
done something that makes me feel ashamed.
Speaker 2 (03:44):
How do I move forward? How do I get up
and how do I.
Speaker 1 (03:47):
Do that in this life in a way that is real, authentic,
not acting like something didn't happen, but also not allowing
it to make me feel like I'm less than what
God has created me to be. So that has been
the journey, and I think when choosing joy became a
real thing for me, it's about sharing that journey, and
(04:12):
it's about continuing to learn, being a student forever and
figuring out how to continue to find the joy every
day in life, because I think that's what God has
called us to do. He's called us to live an
abundant life, a joyful life. It does not mean life
won't be hard, but it does mean we can find
(04:33):
that joyful perspective through it all. It's very difficult, and
so I wanted to first of all, thank you for
tuning in. And I wanted to see if you guys
had some questions for me about my journey about life.
Speaker 2 (04:47):
Anything you wanted to know.
Speaker 1 (04:48):
We asked and using some questions and so they're written
here and we're going to get into it.
Speaker 2 (04:55):
But truly, truly.
Speaker 1 (04:56):
Thank you from the bottom of my heart. This is
an uncomfortable joy for me. I am sitting here as me, myself,
and I not a character, not someone just written on
a page for me to portray. This is me and
I'm grateful to be here to allow you to see
(05:19):
who deporh joy Winan's Williams is. I am a woman
who loves the Lord. I am a wife, I am
a mom, I am a performer.
Speaker 2 (05:30):
And this is real life.
Speaker 1 (05:31):
So how do we keep going in real life with
a smile on our face? So now it's time to
get into your questions. I hope y'all didn't send anything crazy.
We're going to see.
Speaker 2 (05:42):
The first question is what does choosing joy mean to you?
And how do you choose joy?
Speaker 1 (05:48):
Choosing joy means myriad things. To me, choosing joy means
choosing myself. I think a lot of times, as women,
we forget get to look and see what we need.
We're always trying to fill someone else's cup. And if
we don't fill our own, if we don't choose ourselves,
(06:09):
then we are pouring from an empty cup. And then
that brings about irritation, frustration, and it doesn't allow for
actual joy to be seen and felt. And so I
think for me, choosing joy means thinking about me, choosing
me and choosing to understand what I need to be
my best in the world that day. And how do
(06:31):
I do that. I I look at what I've got
going on. First of all, I wake up and I
just say thank you Lord. And that's something that I
tell my son as we're raising my three year old
almost four year old, when we go to bed and
when we wake up, it's thank you Lord, thank you
for waking me up today. And I think when you
open your eyes and you start with gratitude on your mouth,
(06:53):
it sets the tone for your day. So that's a
way of choosing joy. I I wake up and I say,
thank you Lord that I am, that I'm here, that
I'm alive, and well, I choose joy by praying, by
looking at what I've got going on that day and saying,
all right, Lord, I.
Speaker 2 (07:12):
Know I've got this, and then You've got the rest.
Speaker 1 (07:14):
I think a lot of times we ask God for
things and then we.
Speaker 2 (07:19):
Just wait for him to do it.
Speaker 1 (07:21):
And the Bible says faith without works is dead. And
so my faith is that God is going to do
everything for me that I cannot do myself. And so
I got to put the work in. So I look
at what I have to do, I put that work in,
and then I trust that God's got the rest, and
then I just I thank him. I thank him for
my family. I spend time with my son, I spend
(07:42):
time with my husband, I spend time with my friends.
It took me into my thirties, and you can ask
Merle Dandridge this. She played my sister on Green Leaf
and I was I think thirty three, thirty two or
thirty three when I had my first girl's trip and
(08:02):
it was with her, and I had no idea the
fulfillment I would get out of just going somewhere and
hanging out with my girls. I mean, my cup was full.
There was so much joy, laughter, peace, And when you
do it with the right people. You can't travel with everybody.
Understand that, because that can make your trip a disaster.
(08:25):
But knowing that something with my girls was such a
joyful thing, I came back ready to just conquer the world.
And so that's also a piece of choosing joy. Understanding
who you are and what you need, and being okay
with that. I think that's how I do it okay.
(08:47):
Question number two, how does your faith affect the way
you tell stories?
Speaker 2 (08:53):
That's a good one.
Speaker 1 (08:54):
How does your faith affect the way you tell stories? Honestly, uh,
I don't think that it does. I think that as
an actor, which is really funny. I'm gonna help you
all out because I do have a very big family
and there's a lot of Deborah's in my family. I
am Deborah Joy. I did not start off singing. Acting
(09:16):
has always been my love and my passion. I got
my BFA from Wayne State University shout out Detroit, Michigan.
I went and spent a month in Moscow at the
Moscow Art Theater School, and then I moved to LA
and got my Masters of Fine Arts in Acting from
California Institute of the Arts. So as an actor, a
trained actor, I fall into the character. So it's not
(09:41):
my faith that's telling the story. So it doesn't really
affect how I tell stories at all. If it is
a role that I've said yes to, that means I
feel good about it. That means my husband feels good
about it.
Speaker 2 (09:58):
And to check we need how I'm grown woman, okay,
you know. And if the Lord.
Speaker 1 (10:06):
Checks my spirit or makes me feel something about when
I'm reading it and I shouldn't accept it, then I won't.
Speaker 2 (10:12):
But if I have accepted it, my.
Speaker 1 (10:14):
Faith is not a part of the story I'm telling
unless it's written into the role. Uh. My faith comes
in with what I'm taking. My faith comes in with
how I am on set. That is where my faith
comes in. My faith comes in from trusting that God
is showing me favor and my name is being spoken
(10:37):
in rooms that I'm not in.
Speaker 2 (10:39):
My faith is knowing that.
Speaker 1 (10:41):
This is what God has called me to do, and
so He's going to continue to make away and open
doors for me as I do what I'm supposed to do.
That's where my faith comes in. How I'm treating people
at work, at home, when I'm driving. I used to
have road rage. Now you know it was here. It's here.
That's where my faith comes in, making sure I am
(11:04):
doing the right thing regardless of who's watching, because I
know God is watching, and my number one goal is
to make sure I am spreading the love of God.
So it doesn't necessarily come in with telling the story
as an actor. It comes in as Debra Joy Winings
Williams the person, and how I'm relating to everybody else
on set, offset, behind the screen, whatever.
Speaker 2 (11:26):
That is where my faith comes in.
Speaker 1 (11:28):
When I think of choosing joy, I think of choosing wellness.
Speaker 2 (11:32):
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Speaker 1 (11:34):
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(12:07):
Or retailers nationwide. That's Olly dot com.
Speaker 2 (12:12):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (12:12):
Question number three, what daily habits help you find peace
and happiness?
Speaker 2 (12:18):
Oh? What daily habits?
Speaker 1 (12:21):
I think that my wake up routine, my gratitude, my prayer,
my reading scripture, those are things that really ground me
for my day, for life. I think that life is
very difficult, y'all. Life twenty twenty five is some stuff.
(12:42):
Life has been lifing in this year alone, and so
knowing that life is going to life, I think you
have to have a routine that grounds you no matter what,
so that you can take whatever is coming your way.
Because something is coming, you know, that's that's what it is.
But how do we take it, How do we react
to it? How are we prepared for it? And so
(13:04):
I think for me finding peace and happiness in a
routine that allows me to handle whatever's coming because stopping
is not an option, Quitting is not an option. Throwing
in the towel is not an option. I have a husband,
I have a son, and I have people that God
has allowed to look up to me and to see
(13:28):
that there is a way to achieve the things that
you want to achieve. And so I can't just throw
in the towel. And I think that my routine of
trusting God on a daily basis, it can't just be
every Sunday or every Tuesday night Bible study.
Speaker 2 (13:46):
It has to be every day. I have learned every day,
I gotta say thank you Lord every day.
Speaker 1 (13:51):
I gotta pray every day. I gotta find out what
the scripture is for the day, even if it's just
you start with five minutes. I learned that prayer doesn't
have to be this long monologue full of all of
the sat words. Ever in life, that's what I used
to think. And then I went to prayer and I
(14:14):
sat next to my grandma. Oh, I love my grandma Whinings.
She was sitting on the bench and I was knelt
next to her. And it was six am prayer.
Speaker 2 (14:22):
Y'all. First of all, like, who does that?
Speaker 1 (14:26):
Why did our parents make us wake up at six
am prayer?
Speaker 2 (14:30):
Oof?
Speaker 1 (14:31):
But I am grateful looking back because I sat next
to my grandma, or I knelt next to her, and
I listened to her pray, and I thought, well.
Speaker 2 (14:41):
I know she saved and that's all I gotta do.
That's how I can talk to God. And I learned
it's as simple as just saying thank you, Lord, thank
you for waking me up. Thank you for my family.
Speaker 1 (14:54):
Thank you for great life, great health, great strength, thank
you for mind to want to be saved. Thank you
for all of the things that you have provided for me.
Thank you that you're always there. It's simple, and I've
learned that making that a part of my foundation and
routine allows me to find peace, allows me to find
(15:14):
happiness regardless of what's going on in the world, and
America's crazy right now, and regardless of all of that,
I'm still able to find peace and happiness because of
that steady routine of trusting God.
Speaker 2 (15:28):
If that's my foundation, I can keep going regardless. Will
y'all got me preaching today? I don't know y'all's gonna
have me these questions?
Speaker 1 (15:35):
Okay, Question number four, How has your family's musical background
influenced your career?
Speaker 2 (15:47):
So, I'm a fan.
Speaker 1 (15:48):
They are my family, but I am a fan of
the Whining's family. I think they are some of the
most singingest people on this planet.
Speaker 2 (15:58):
And I don't care. You can call whatever you want
to call it.
Speaker 1 (16:01):
Them Jokers can sing like there's no tomorrow, and I
put that on everything Okay, it's a background of work.
It's a background of entertainment. I got to go to
a lot of things as a young lady growing up,
so I got to meet a lot of people. I
got to understand the way the entertainment industry worked. I
got to see how they moved. I got to see
how their faith shaped how they moved in this industry.
(16:26):
And so that influenced who I wanted to be and
how I wanted to move, and how I wanted to
be seen. And even when I moved out to la
for grad school, my uncle Biebe would come out here
a lot, and we spent a lot of time together,
and I saw firsthand how he treated everybody, how the
dorman at the hotel loved him, how the valet at
(16:49):
the hotels loved him.
Speaker 2 (16:50):
Everywhere he went.
Speaker 1 (16:52):
He saw the people, He spoke to the people, he
knew their names.
Speaker 2 (16:57):
And it's so important. I think that a lot of people.
Speaker 1 (17:01):
Particularly in the religious community, forget that ministry means people.
Speaker 2 (17:09):
And so if we're walking by all these people every
day and not seeing them and taking notice of them, we're.
Speaker 1 (17:16):
Missing opportunities to be who God is meant for us
to be in this world. To people, and so I
saw that firsthand and it really changed my perspective on
life and how to see the world and how to
be the light I'm meant to be, not just in
the rooms I'm trying to get in, but in everyday life.
(17:37):
That's what leads you to be prepared for whatever room
God allows you to walk into. So yeah, that's how
their background has influenced my career. It's just I think
allowed me to see things at an early age and
be able to step.
Speaker 2 (17:52):
Into this.
Speaker 1 (17:54):
In a way that I truly feel and believe has
been pleasing to God because that's my number one goal.
Speaker 2 (18:00):
So yeah, that's how it's influenced me.
Speaker 1 (18:02):
Great question question number five, How do you stay healthy
and well with a busy schedule and balance being a
performer mom and a person of faith.
Speaker 2 (18:13):
Look, y'all is rough.
Speaker 1 (18:17):
Especially with a three year old. They go to school
and collect germs. It's like it's like they go to
the bowels of the earth to find the nastiest stuff
and then they bring it home to you. Then they
cough it in your face, they put it on your hands,
they rub it on your clothes. It's like, what are
y'all doing? And why where did you get this? How
(18:39):
did you get this? And then they keep moving like
they're not affected. Meanwhile I'm struggling, can't hardly breathe, snot
all up my nose.
Speaker 2 (18:49):
It's a mess.
Speaker 1 (18:50):
So how do I stay healthy and well? I don't
all the time. It's a struggle with.
Speaker 2 (18:55):
A three year old, I am telling.
Speaker 1 (18:57):
Y'all, but I try by my vitamins, my multi vitamins.
Ali is amazing with their multi vitamins for moms, for dads,
the probiotics for kids. And then when I need that
little joker to go to sleep, that kids sleep works
like a charm. And that's part of the balance. Balancing work,
(19:19):
being a performer, also balancing being a mom and a wife.
Those are all different hats, and so making sure my
baby go to sleep so that I can have some
time for myself, so I can figure out who I
am and what I'm trying to be and what I
need to do for the next twenty minutes before I
fall asleep. That's it's vitamins. It's a regano. I found
(19:41):
out oregano oil is really good for you. It's a
lot of vitamin C and sleep y'all. Sometimes you just
lay down.
Speaker 2 (19:52):
And go to sleep. Go to sleep.
Speaker 1 (19:55):
And back in the day it was ginger ale and vasiline.
So now all you need to do is add some
Ali multi vitamins, get you some ginger ale, get you
some vasoline, and lay your butt down. Stop doing so
much like rest. We need to rest. Isn't that a commandment?
Like lay down?
Speaker 2 (20:15):
That's how you do it, That's how I do it,
and that's what you can do. Praise the Lord. M
let's see, let's see, let's see.
Speaker 1 (20:24):
Okay Ooh and I knew green Leaf was going to
rear its head ontoday. What was it like playing someone
so out of control as Charity?
Speaker 2 (20:37):
And did you learn anything from her? Charity?
Speaker 1 (20:42):
Oh, sweet Charity. I loved playing Charity. I think that
Charity was very complex.
Speaker 2 (20:52):
I think that.
Speaker 1 (20:54):
She said the things that we all wanted to say
but would never say in real life.
Speaker 2 (20:59):
I think she did some of the things.
Speaker 1 (21:01):
That we kind of want to do but we probably
shouldn't do if we don't want people to think we're crazy.
Speaker 2 (21:06):
I think that she was real. I think that she.
Speaker 1 (21:10):
Lived her feelings and her heart just right out in
the open. She was unafraid to say what she was
thinking to tell you how she was feeling, and then
if you didn't take her seriously, she did what she
wanted to do or needed to do.
Speaker 2 (21:24):
She was a woman falling apart. She was a woman
that was hurt.
Speaker 1 (21:28):
She was a woman that had to take time to
figure out how to choose herself, how to fall in
love with herself. And so being on that journey with her,
I loved it because it also changed me.
Speaker 2 (21:44):
You know. I think that charity allowed you to see
even when you make mistakes, there's grace.
Speaker 1 (21:53):
Even when you go down the wrong road, you can
still find your way back.
Speaker 2 (21:59):
All you got to do is keep going.
Speaker 1 (22:00):
She was just this imperfect person, as we all are,
and it's beautiful to see someone like that finally figure
it out. And so I love that we got to
see a beginning, a middle, and an end of a
woman who was young, naive, hurt, became a mom, made
(22:23):
some questionable choices, and then in the end found her faith,
fell in love with herself, and was able to be
everything she needed to be. So, yeah, she was complex.
I learned from her. I grew from her, and I
hope that you all.
Speaker 2 (22:42):
Grew from her. It was it was a joy playing her.
Speaker 1 (22:46):
Okay, one more question. We have time for one more question. Okay,
we'll do this. What advice do you have for young
women starting in music or acting? What advice do you
have for young women starting in music or acting?
Speaker 2 (23:02):
Give it everything you have. If this is the.
Speaker 1 (23:06):
Gift that God has given you, use every gift that
he has given you. Work on every gift that He's
given you. Don't just hope that you find yourself in
the right place at the right time. No, no, no,
that you have to be prepared for wherever you feel
like God is taking you.
Speaker 2 (23:23):
So work it, work your gift, work your.
Speaker 1 (23:26):
Talent, and then when you are in the rooms, you
show up. You show up ready, you show up on time,
You show up prepared, and trust that you're enough. You
do all the work that you can do, and trust
that that is enough.
Speaker 2 (23:42):
You are enough.
Speaker 1 (23:42):
The way God has created you is enough. And when
you do your work, God does his and the rest
is history.
Speaker 2 (23:50):
That's my advice. Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you.
Speaker 1 (23:56):
This is so uncomfortable for me, but I love being
able to answer your questions, to be able to come
to you as I am and trust that I'm saying
something that.
Speaker 2 (24:07):
Might be helpful. And if you have other questions or
you want me.
Speaker 1 (24:09):
To tackle different subjects or situations, please write them in.
Please subscribe, click the like button, Send us your questions,
send us your thoughts.
Speaker 2 (24:20):
We are here trying to create a platform that.
Speaker 1 (24:23):
Will give you answers, that will give you hope, that
will give you joy in the midst of this life
that we're living. We want the journey to be full
of joy. So think about the joyful journey, not just
the destination.
Speaker 2 (24:37):
And we're here for you, and we are here hoping
that you continue to choose joy with us. So thank you,
thank you, thank you, thank you, and keep choosing joy.
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