November 29, 2025 • 17 mins
Forgiveness sounds simple… until life asks you to practice it with real people and real pain.
In this heartfelt solo episode of Choosing Joy, Deborah Joy Winans Williams opens up about one of the most difficult—and most freeing—parts of her own journey: learning how to forgive others, forgive herself, and release the resentment that keeps us bound.
Deborah shares the story of her parents’ divorce, how childhood wounds shaped her understanding of forgiveness, and the moment her grandmother gave her a piece of wisdom that changed her life forever. She talks about shame, grace, reconciliation, and why forgiveness isn’t a one-time event, but a process that comes in waves.
With honesty and compassion, Deborah reminds us that forgiveness is not about excusing someone else’s behavior—it's about choosing freedom, healing, and joy for your own life.
If you’re holding onto hurt, wrestling with disappointment, or trying to heal old family pain, this episode will meet you right where you are.
💜 “Forgiveness doesn’t always mean reconciliation. But it always means freedom.”
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
There are so many times where I feel like, oh,
somebody hurt me, somebody did me wrong. I forgive them,
and then I find myself in a space with them
and they do something and boom, I am right back
to where I was before I gave them.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
I can't stand them. I'm angry.
Speaker 1 (00:17):
I want to slap them, I want to do things,
and I'm like, oh, Jesus, I didn't forgive, Like, what's
going on with me? I didn't I didn't do what
I needed to do to be where I needed to
be for myself. Hello everybody, I am Deborah Joy Winings Williams,
(00:42):
your host of Choosing Joy, and.
Speaker 2 (00:44):
I want to say thank you for tuning in.
Speaker 1 (00:46):
I want to say thank you for all of the
tune ins that you've done.
Speaker 2 (00:51):
We really appreciate the support, and we hope.
Speaker 1 (00:54):
And pray that things are being said that have touched you,
that have helped you, that have made you laugh, and
that have helped you find a way to choose joy,
because y'all, life is lifing, and so we are trying to.
Speaker 2 (01:09):
Bring out all the tools that will help.
Speaker 1 (01:11):
Us to continue to find the joy in everyday life.
Speaker 2 (01:15):
And today I want to talk to you about something
that is.
Speaker 1 (01:22):
So small yet so huge in our lives.
Speaker 2 (01:28):
That thing is called forgiveness. To me, that is.
Speaker 1 (01:36):
That is such a small word that carries unimaginable weight
and reward, but also consequences, you know. So in thinking
about forgiveness, I was like.
Speaker 2 (01:54):
What does Webster say?
Speaker 1 (01:56):
What is dictionary dot com talking about when you think
about forgiveness?
Speaker 2 (02:00):
What is forgiveness? And so I looked it up and.
Speaker 1 (02:05):
Truly, forgiving, by way of the dictionary, means to grant, pardon,
for or remission of an offense, to absolve, to give
up all claim on account.
Speaker 2 (02:20):
Of a debt or obligation, all claim, to cease to
feel resent what.
Speaker 1 (02:32):
To cease to feel resentment towards someone that did me wrong,
towards someone that actively hurt me.
Speaker 2 (02:43):
And I got to find myself in a space to
cease to feel resentment.
Speaker 1 (02:50):
Where they do that, y'all? That like it blew my
mind at what forgiveness means. And then I started thinking,
am I there? Because to me that is beyond hard?
And I think that I have found along my journey
(03:13):
of trying to choose joy that forgiveness. I think a
lot of times we think it's a blanket moment, just
this moment I chose to forgive.
Speaker 2 (03:25):
Boom, We're good. That's not the case.
Speaker 1 (03:30):
I think a lot of times it comes in waves.
I think it comes in steps. There are so many
times where I feel like, oh, somebody hurt me, somebody
did me wrong. I forgive them, and then I find
myself in a space with them and they do something
and boom, I am right back to where I was
before I gave them. I can't stand them, I'm angry,
(03:52):
I want to slap them, I want to do things,
and I'm like, oh, Jesus, I didn't forgive, Like, what's
going on with me? I didn't I didn't do what
I needed to do to be where I needed to
be for myself. And I don't think that that's entirely
the case. I just think that there are levels to forgiveness.
(04:16):
I think when you feel you have initially done it,
you have. But I think as you grow in life,
things change. Sometimes the hurt.
Speaker 2 (04:25):
Is deeper than what you thought.
Speaker 1 (04:27):
And so it takes many moments of actively saying ooh,
I forgive, I still forgive. Words are power, y'all. That's
something we really have to learn. Words are power and
so for me, as I get very personal and candid
(04:49):
with you all, I think a point for me when
I think about forgiveness and talking about what that has
meant to me one of the biggest things in.
Speaker 2 (04:59):
My life that has been very, very difficult for me.
Speaker 1 (05:02):
And I sit here right now as a forty two
year old grown woman with a husband and a child,
and I still feel like that little girl that found
out my parents were getting a divorce, and the way
I grew up, that was my foundation, Like.
Speaker 2 (05:23):
Y'all can't do that. What do you mean that's not okay?
Like y'all can't. And when you're young, you look at
your parents as your parents. They're your superheroes. They are
the people that they set the trend.
Speaker 1 (05:37):
They tell you what's okay, what's not okay, how you
need to try and live your life, and then when
they do something that's not necessarily on that same train.
Speaker 2 (05:51):
It can rock your world. And I wasn't that young, honestly.
Speaker 1 (05:54):
I was in undergrad and I was getting ready to
graduate from undergrad and move to la for grad school,
and when I found out they were getting a divorce,
it really crushed me. And then realizing your parents are
human too, I think is something that will allow you
to move forward a bit easier. But I think for me,
(06:15):
I didn't really realize my parents were human at that point.
Speaker 2 (06:17):
I'm just like, what are you doing? This is not right.
And then from my.
Speaker 1 (06:23):
Perspective I likened it to it felt like my dad.
Speaker 2 (06:30):
Left us.
Speaker 1 (06:31):
It felt like he created this storm. It felt like
he brought this tornado into our lives. But he didn't
stay around to clean up the mess. He didn't stay
to pick up all the garbage, everything that was spun
around and shaken and fell out and needed to be
put back together.
Speaker 2 (06:52):
He didn't do that.
Speaker 1 (06:54):
To me.
Speaker 2 (06:57):
From my point of view.
Speaker 1 (06:59):
It was like, well, you created this mess, you gotta
clean it up. And that's speaking as a child because
you don't know the ins.
Speaker 2 (07:08):
And outs of your parents' relationship and you're not supposed to.
You shouldn't, it's not your business.
Speaker 1 (07:14):
But I think for me, that really shook me, and
I was always waiting for him to come clean up
the mess. And as you get older, you have to
realize time is going, your life is your life, and
nobody can clean up what's in your life but you,
And that's where you realize forgiveness is not for the
(07:36):
other party, It's for you. And that came to me
via my grandma. I was so mad at my dad, y'all.
I spent so much time being mad at my dad,
who I know loves me, but I was mad because
I felt like he found a new family, chose a
new family, and I felt left in the dust. I
(08:00):
felt left in the debris. And that was something I
had to deal with. So we fast forward and my grandfather,
who was my buddy, that was my guy. I was
in grad school, but I went back home to take
care of I'm using the hospital and I'd been there
for months. Every night, spend the night at the hospital,
(08:21):
we'll go back to my grandma's to change and take
a shower in the morning, and then come back that next night.
Speaker 2 (08:26):
And so fast forward to him kind of being close
to the end. I remember my dad came.
Speaker 1 (08:32):
With his new wife and they were in there trying
to take care of my granddad, and I.
Speaker 2 (08:38):
Was thinking, we don't need you what you're doing. I
got this, I've got this.
Speaker 1 (08:43):
I got my granddad, Like, who are you to get
to come in and wipe.
Speaker 2 (08:49):
His forehead or hold his hand?
Speaker 1 (08:52):
And I remember stepping out of the room and being
really upset about that, and I sat next to my grandma.
Speaker 2 (09:00):
She said, what's wrong with your baby? And I told
her what was going on.
Speaker 1 (09:04):
My dad and his wife are in there, and we
don't need them to take care of Granddad. I've been
doing that. And she said, no, there's something else what's
going on? And I was like, well, he never apologized
and he he never was, always him. And my grandma said,
are you going to waste your life waiting for somebody
(09:27):
to ask for something that you can freely give?
Speaker 2 (09:31):
And that got me all.
Speaker 1 (09:34):
I don't have to wait for him to ask for forgiveness,
whether he asks or not. It's my life that's bound
up because I'm angry, because I'm hurt because things just
didn't go the way that I thought they would or should.
And as you get older, you realize so much of
life is not going to go the way that you
(09:56):
think it should go, or the way that.
Speaker 2 (09:58):
You wanted to go. And that's okay. It's about understanding
what's happening.
Speaker 1 (10:06):
It's about understanding the power and control that you have
over your mental, your physical. You can't control nobody but you, honey,
That's it. And that is what my grandma showed me
that day, and I made the choice, and I have
to continue to make the choice to forgive and move forward.
(10:31):
People are not going to do things perfect. They're just
not going to You're not going to do things perfect.
I remember when my husband told me, do you think
you perfect? You're not perfect? And I was aghast y'all,
I was like, what do you mean, You're not You're
(10:51):
not meant to. And I think the beauty of forgiveness
and the grace of God is how you get up
and how you begin to see yourself. I think a
lot of times we can look at how people have
done us wrong, and we can also linger on how
we have hurt people. I have been in that position.
(11:12):
I have hurt people very very deeply. And so do
we live in that shame? How do we move forward?
Are we walking around talk about shame?
Speaker 2 (11:25):
Shame? Shame?
Speaker 1 (11:28):
Nobody wants that. Nobody wants to live in shame. And
we're not called to live in shame. God didn't call
for us to be walking around with our heads hung
low and just hurt and mad and angry at ourselves
for messing up. We are human, We make mistakes, how
do we get up, how do we move forward, and
how do we do better?
Speaker 2 (11:48):
You know, I married the right person, y'all.
Speaker 1 (11:50):
I remember I felt like I was in the midst
of coming through something where I had really made a
mistake and I really felt bad, and I was somewhere
and I just felt like I didn't deserve to be there.
And my husband was like, that's a slap in the
face of God.
Speaker 2 (12:10):
To hang your head low and.
Speaker 1 (12:13):
Try to retract with the gift that He has given you.
Speaker 2 (12:17):
He didn't take the gift back.
Speaker 1 (12:19):
You are supposed to be everything you are meant to be,
regardless of what you've done. God didn't call us not
knowing what we were going to do. He always knows,
and He is always there, standing ready and waiting to
show you who you are, to tell you who you are.
(12:40):
And so I think for me, I have had.
Speaker 2 (12:43):
To learn how to forgive myself.
Speaker 1 (12:48):
To be able to walk with my head held high
even when others feel like I haven't been shameful long enough.
Speaker 2 (12:56):
Who are you to tell me.
Speaker 1 (12:59):
How how long I need to sit and wallow before
I can be everything God has called me to be.
Speaker 2 (13:05):
So I think we have to.
Speaker 1 (13:06):
Learn to give grace to ourselves. We have to learn
to forgive ourselves. We have to learn how to forgive others.
Speaker 2 (13:15):
Because the freedom comes for you, not for them.
Speaker 1 (13:21):
You are in charge of you, your own personal body,
your mental, your physical.
Speaker 2 (13:27):
You control that. So how do you move forward? How
do you let go of the guilt and the shame?
Speaker 1 (13:33):
And how do you trust that the gift that God
has given you is still there and you are still
meant to do so much good in this world.
Speaker 2 (13:43):
It's not about falling down, it's about getting up. Even
when you get up. Forgiveness doesn't always mean reconciliation. It
doesn't mean y'all got to be best buddies, you know.
Speaker 1 (13:56):
So let's go back to Webster, because I did go
to Webster because I want to understand the breakdown of
all these things. We talked about forgiveness and then we
talked about we're talking about reconciliation, and the dictionary says
to reconcile means to become amicable or bring into agreement
or harmony, to make compatible.
Speaker 2 (14:18):
Sometimes you realize you're just not.
Speaker 1 (14:20):
Compatible and that is okay. That doesn't mean that you
have not forgiven. You can forgive and realize, oh, we
see we're not meant to be working together, or we're
not meant to be the close buddies that I thought,
and we're not meant to be Spade's partners.
Speaker 2 (14:39):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (14:41):
It's okay to not be meant for each other. You
can forgive and move forward and move in your own
separate ways. That's the beauty of growing. You understand what
you're meant to be, who you're meant to be, and
who you're meant to be, you know, walking this journey
with Some people in life are meant for a season.
(15:03):
Some are meant for your full journey, but some are
meant only for a season. And that's okay. Everyone has
served their purpose in that season, and you move forward,
praying for them, believing the best for them, and you
go on.
Speaker 2 (15:18):
Your own path. So forgiveness does not always mean reconciliation.
I would like to sort of say in conclusion, because
I've been on both.
Speaker 1 (15:29):
Sides, and I think we all have. I've had to
learn how to forgive. I've had to learn how to
do it in waves. I've had to learn how to
forgive myself. I've had to learn to give grace to
others and to myself to be patient with others and myself.
Speaker 2 (15:51):
And I think in the midst of doing that.
Speaker 1 (15:53):
Which is something I still continue to do, I have
found a release of joy that I think.
Speaker 2 (16:01):
Only comes through forgiveness.
Speaker 1 (16:04):
And so I want to know with you, what is
something that has happened in your life that you have
found it hard to let go of, whether it's forgiving
someone else or forgiving yourself. What is that moment? What
is that particular thing that has been nagging at you?
I promise if we face it, you will find so
(16:26):
much joy and freedom on the other side.
Speaker 2 (16:30):
It's not easy. It ain't easy, Okay, it's not.
Speaker 1 (16:37):
It's just not going to be easy, but it will
be worth it.
Speaker 2 (16:41):
So let me know. Thank you so much for listening.
Please please please please.
Speaker 1 (16:47):
Write down your request, write down the things that you
are going through, things that you want to hear about,
and we will for sure get to it.
Speaker 2 (16:57):
I promise you that.
Speaker 1 (16:58):
And in the meantime, be easy with yourself, give grace
to yourself, give grace to others around you, and trust
that whatever God is working on through you, it is.
Speaker 2 (17:08):
For your good.
Speaker 1 (17:10):
Let go of things and get that freedom and that
joy that is waiting I promise you it's waiting right
on the other side.
Speaker 2 (17:20):
Click that like.
Speaker 1 (17:20):
Button, subscribe, let me know what you want to hear
and know that we are praying for you and know
that you can continue to choose joy.
Speaker 2 (17:29):
Thank you, thank you, thank you, and have a wonderful evening.
Love you all,
There are so many times where I feel like, oh,
somebody hurt me, somebody did me wrong. I forgive them,
and then I find myself in a space with them
and they do something and boom, I am right back
to where I was before I gave them.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
I can't stand them. I'm angry.
Speaker 1 (00:17):
I want to slap them, I want to do things,
and I'm like, oh, Jesus, I didn't forgive, Like, what's
going on with me? I didn't I didn't do what
I needed to do to be where I needed to
be for myself. Hello everybody, I am Deborah Joy Winings Williams,
(00:42):
your host of Choosing Joy, and.
Speaker 2 (00:44):
I want to say thank you for tuning in.
Speaker 1 (00:46):
I want to say thank you for all of the
tune ins that you've done.
Speaker 2 (00:51):
We really appreciate the support, and we hope.
Speaker 1 (00:54):
And pray that things are being said that have touched you,
that have helped you, that have made you laugh, and
that have helped you find a way to choose joy,
because y'all, life is lifing, and so we are trying to.
Speaker 2 (01:09):
Bring out all the tools that will help.
Speaker 1 (01:11):
Us to continue to find the joy in everyday life.
Speaker 2 (01:15):
And today I want to talk to you about something
that is.
Speaker 1 (01:22):
So small yet so huge in our lives.
Speaker 2 (01:28):
That thing is called forgiveness. To me, that is.
Speaker 1 (01:36):
That is such a small word that carries unimaginable weight
and reward, but also consequences, you know. So in thinking
about forgiveness, I was like.
Speaker 2 (01:54):
What does Webster say?
Speaker 1 (01:56):
What is dictionary dot com talking about when you think
about forgiveness?
Speaker 2 (02:00):
What is forgiveness? And so I looked it up and.
Speaker 1 (02:05):
Truly, forgiving, by way of the dictionary, means to grant, pardon,
for or remission of an offense, to absolve, to give
up all claim on account.
Speaker 2 (02:20):
Of a debt or obligation, all claim, to cease to
feel resent what.
Speaker 1 (02:32):
To cease to feel resentment towards someone that did me wrong,
towards someone that actively hurt me.
Speaker 2 (02:43):
And I got to find myself in a space to
cease to feel resentment.
Speaker 1 (02:50):
Where they do that, y'all? That like it blew my
mind at what forgiveness means. And then I started thinking,
am I there? Because to me that is beyond hard?
And I think that I have found along my journey
(03:13):
of trying to choose joy that forgiveness. I think a
lot of times we think it's a blanket moment, just
this moment I chose to forgive.
Speaker 2 (03:25):
Boom, We're good. That's not the case.
Speaker 1 (03:30):
I think a lot of times it comes in waves.
I think it comes in steps. There are so many
times where I feel like, oh, somebody hurt me, somebody
did me wrong. I forgive them, and then I find
myself in a space with them and they do something
and boom, I am right back to where I was
before I gave them. I can't stand them, I'm angry,
(03:52):
I want to slap them, I want to do things,
and I'm like, oh, Jesus, I didn't forgive, Like, what's
going on with me? I didn't I didn't do what
I needed to do to be where I needed to
be for myself. And I don't think that that's entirely
the case. I just think that there are levels to forgiveness.
(04:16):
I think when you feel you have initially done it,
you have. But I think as you grow in life,
things change. Sometimes the hurt.
Speaker 2 (04:25):
Is deeper than what you thought.
Speaker 1 (04:27):
And so it takes many moments of actively saying ooh,
I forgive, I still forgive. Words are power, y'all. That's
something we really have to learn. Words are power and
so for me, as I get very personal and candid
(04:49):
with you all, I think a point for me when
I think about forgiveness and talking about what that has
meant to me one of the biggest things in.
Speaker 2 (04:59):
My life that has been very, very difficult for me.
Speaker 1 (05:02):
And I sit here right now as a forty two
year old grown woman with a husband and a child,
and I still feel like that little girl that found
out my parents were getting a divorce, and the way
I grew up, that was my foundation, Like.
Speaker 2 (05:23):
Y'all can't do that. What do you mean that's not okay?
Like y'all can't. And when you're young, you look at
your parents as your parents. They're your superheroes. They are
the people that they set the trend.
Speaker 1 (05:37):
They tell you what's okay, what's not okay, how you
need to try and live your life, and then when
they do something that's not necessarily on that same train.
Speaker 2 (05:51):
It can rock your world. And I wasn't that young, honestly.
Speaker 1 (05:54):
I was in undergrad and I was getting ready to
graduate from undergrad and move to la for grad school,
and when I found out they were getting a divorce,
it really crushed me. And then realizing your parents are
human too, I think is something that will allow you
to move forward a bit easier. But I think for me,
(06:15):
I didn't really realize my parents were human at that point.
Speaker 2 (06:17):
I'm just like, what are you doing? This is not right.
And then from my.
Speaker 1 (06:23):
Perspective I likened it to it felt like my dad.
Speaker 2 (06:30):
Left us.
Speaker 1 (06:31):
It felt like he created this storm. It felt like
he brought this tornado into our lives. But he didn't
stay around to clean up the mess. He didn't stay
to pick up all the garbage, everything that was spun
around and shaken and fell out and needed to be
put back together.
Speaker 2 (06:52):
He didn't do that.
Speaker 1 (06:54):
To me.
Speaker 2 (06:57):
From my point of view.
Speaker 1 (06:59):
It was like, well, you created this mess, you gotta
clean it up. And that's speaking as a child because
you don't know the ins.
Speaker 2 (07:08):
And outs of your parents' relationship and you're not supposed to.
You shouldn't, it's not your business.
Speaker 1 (07:14):
But I think for me, that really shook me, and
I was always waiting for him to come clean up
the mess. And as you get older, you have to
realize time is going, your life is your life, and
nobody can clean up what's in your life but you,
And that's where you realize forgiveness is not for the
(07:36):
other party, It's for you. And that came to me
via my grandma. I was so mad at my dad, y'all.
I spent so much time being mad at my dad,
who I know loves me, but I was mad because
I felt like he found a new family, chose a
new family, and I felt left in the dust. I
(08:00):
felt left in the debris. And that was something I
had to deal with. So we fast forward and my grandfather,
who was my buddy, that was my guy. I was
in grad school, but I went back home to take
care of I'm using the hospital and I'd been there
for months. Every night, spend the night at the hospital,
(08:21):
we'll go back to my grandma's to change and take
a shower in the morning, and then come back that next night.
Speaker 2 (08:26):
And so fast forward to him kind of being close
to the end. I remember my dad came.
Speaker 1 (08:32):
With his new wife and they were in there trying
to take care of my granddad, and I.
Speaker 2 (08:38):
Was thinking, we don't need you what you're doing. I
got this, I've got this.
Speaker 1 (08:43):
I got my granddad, Like, who are you to get
to come in and wipe.
Speaker 2 (08:49):
His forehead or hold his hand?
Speaker 1 (08:52):
And I remember stepping out of the room and being
really upset about that, and I sat next to my grandma.
Speaker 2 (09:00):
She said, what's wrong with your baby? And I told
her what was going on.
Speaker 1 (09:04):
My dad and his wife are in there, and we
don't need them to take care of Granddad. I've been
doing that. And she said, no, there's something else what's
going on? And I was like, well, he never apologized
and he he never was, always him. And my grandma said,
are you going to waste your life waiting for somebody
(09:27):
to ask for something that you can freely give?
Speaker 2 (09:31):
And that got me all.
Speaker 1 (09:34):
I don't have to wait for him to ask for forgiveness,
whether he asks or not. It's my life that's bound
up because I'm angry, because I'm hurt because things just
didn't go the way that I thought they would or should.
And as you get older, you realize so much of
life is not going to go the way that you
(09:56):
think it should go, or the way that.
Speaker 2 (09:58):
You wanted to go. And that's okay. It's about understanding
what's happening.
Speaker 1 (10:06):
It's about understanding the power and control that you have
over your mental, your physical. You can't control nobody but you, honey,
That's it. And that is what my grandma showed me
that day, and I made the choice, and I have
to continue to make the choice to forgive and move forward.
(10:31):
People are not going to do things perfect. They're just
not going to You're not going to do things perfect.
I remember when my husband told me, do you think
you perfect? You're not perfect? And I was aghast y'all,
I was like, what do you mean, You're not You're
(10:51):
not meant to. And I think the beauty of forgiveness
and the grace of God is how you get up
and how you begin to see yourself. I think a
lot of times we can look at how people have
done us wrong, and we can also linger on how
we have hurt people. I have been in that position.
(11:12):
I have hurt people very very deeply. And so do
we live in that shame? How do we move forward?
Are we walking around talk about shame?
Speaker 2 (11:25):
Shame? Shame?
Speaker 1 (11:28):
Nobody wants that. Nobody wants to live in shame. And
we're not called to live in shame. God didn't call
for us to be walking around with our heads hung
low and just hurt and mad and angry at ourselves
for messing up. We are human, We make mistakes, how
do we get up, how do we move forward, and
how do we do better?
Speaker 2 (11:48):
You know, I married the right person, y'all.
Speaker 1 (11:50):
I remember I felt like I was in the midst
of coming through something where I had really made a
mistake and I really felt bad, and I was somewhere
and I just felt like I didn't deserve to be there.
And my husband was like, that's a slap in the
face of God.
Speaker 2 (12:10):
To hang your head low and.
Speaker 1 (12:13):
Try to retract with the gift that He has given you.
Speaker 2 (12:17):
He didn't take the gift back.
Speaker 1 (12:19):
You are supposed to be everything you are meant to be,
regardless of what you've done. God didn't call us not
knowing what we were going to do. He always knows,
and He is always there, standing ready and waiting to
show you who you are, to tell you who you are.
(12:40):
And so I think for me, I have had.
Speaker 2 (12:43):
To learn how to forgive myself.
Speaker 1 (12:48):
To be able to walk with my head held high
even when others feel like I haven't been shameful long enough.
Speaker 2 (12:56):
Who are you to tell me.
Speaker 1 (12:59):
How how long I need to sit and wallow before
I can be everything God has called me to be.
Speaker 2 (13:05):
So I think we have to.
Speaker 1 (13:06):
Learn to give grace to ourselves. We have to learn
to forgive ourselves. We have to learn how to forgive others.
Speaker 2 (13:15):
Because the freedom comes for you, not for them.
Speaker 1 (13:21):
You are in charge of you, your own personal body,
your mental, your physical.
Speaker 2 (13:27):
You control that. So how do you move forward? How
do you let go of the guilt and the shame?
Speaker 1 (13:33):
And how do you trust that the gift that God
has given you is still there and you are still
meant to do so much good in this world.
Speaker 2 (13:43):
It's not about falling down, it's about getting up. Even
when you get up. Forgiveness doesn't always mean reconciliation. It
doesn't mean y'all got to be best buddies, you know.
Speaker 1 (13:56):
So let's go back to Webster, because I did go
to Webster because I want to understand the breakdown of
all these things. We talked about forgiveness and then we
talked about we're talking about reconciliation, and the dictionary says
to reconcile means to become amicable or bring into agreement
or harmony, to make compatible.
Speaker 2 (14:18):
Sometimes you realize you're just not.
Speaker 1 (14:20):
Compatible and that is okay. That doesn't mean that you
have not forgiven. You can forgive and realize, oh, we
see we're not meant to be working together, or we're
not meant to be the close buddies that I thought,
and we're not meant to be Spade's partners.
Speaker 2 (14:39):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (14:41):
It's okay to not be meant for each other. You
can forgive and move forward and move in your own
separate ways. That's the beauty of growing. You understand what
you're meant to be, who you're meant to be, and
who you're meant to be, you know, walking this journey
with Some people in life are meant for a season.
(15:03):
Some are meant for your full journey, but some are
meant only for a season. And that's okay. Everyone has
served their purpose in that season, and you move forward,
praying for them, believing the best for them, and you
go on.
Speaker 2 (15:18):
Your own path. So forgiveness does not always mean reconciliation.
I would like to sort of say in conclusion, because
I've been on both.
Speaker 1 (15:29):
Sides, and I think we all have. I've had to
learn how to forgive. I've had to learn how to
do it in waves. I've had to learn how to
forgive myself. I've had to learn to give grace to
others and to myself to be patient with others and myself.
Speaker 2 (15:51):
And I think in the midst of doing that.
Speaker 1 (15:53):
Which is something I still continue to do, I have
found a release of joy that I think.
Speaker 2 (16:01):
Only comes through forgiveness.
Speaker 1 (16:04):
And so I want to know with you, what is
something that has happened in your life that you have
found it hard to let go of, whether it's forgiving
someone else or forgiving yourself. What is that moment? What
is that particular thing that has been nagging at you?
I promise if we face it, you will find so
(16:26):
much joy and freedom on the other side.
Speaker 2 (16:30):
It's not easy. It ain't easy, Okay, it's not.
Speaker 1 (16:37):
It's just not going to be easy, but it will
be worth it.
Speaker 2 (16:41):
So let me know. Thank you so much for listening.
Please please please please.
Speaker 1 (16:47):
Write down your request, write down the things that you
are going through, things that you want to hear about,
and we will for sure get to it.
Speaker 2 (16:57):
I promise you that.
Speaker 1 (16:58):
And in the meantime, be easy with yourself, give grace
to yourself, give grace to others around you, and trust
that whatever God is working on through you, it is.
Speaker 2 (17:08):
For your good.
Speaker 1 (17:10):
Let go of things and get that freedom and that
joy that is waiting I promise you it's waiting right
on the other side.
Speaker 2 (17:20):
Click that like.
Speaker 1 (17:20):
Button, subscribe, let me know what you want to hear
and know that we are praying for you and know
that you can continue to choose joy.
Speaker 2 (17:29):
Thank you, thank you, thank you, and have a wonderful evening.
Love you all,
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