September 21, 2025 • 48 mins
In this radiant episode of Choosing Joy, host Deborah Joy Winans Williams sits down with the one and only Gabourey Sidibe—award-winning actress, director, and mother—to talk about choosing self-worth, navigating colorism, and embracing joy in a world that often tells you you’re not enough. From her unexpected journey into stardom with Precious to raising twins and reclaiming her own story, Gabby opens up with humor, honesty, and an unshakable spirit.
She shares how her mother’s influence, her unconventional path into Hollywood, and her deeply grounded sense of self have kept her centered through fame, criticism, and cultural expectations. This conversation goes beyond celebrity—into what it means to love yourself loudly despite the noise.
Expect laughter, real talk, a few tears, and a reminder that every person deserves good things. Whether you're an artist, a parent, or just someone trying to find peace in your own skin, this episode is for you.
✨ This is Choosing Joy at its most soulful and powerful.
Chapter Markers
00:00 – We All Deserve Good Things
03:00 – Gabby’s Unexpected Journey into Hollywood
06:00 – Spirituality, Serendipity & Precious
09:00 – Gabby’s First Time on Set
12:00 – What Hollywood Really Is 1
5:00 – Colorism, Casting, and Identity
18:00 – Exhaustion, Projection & Protecting Joy
21:00 – Gabby on Self-Love and Her Mother
24:00 – Marriage, Kids & Redefining Want
27:00 – IVF, Motherhood & Living Fully
30:00 – The Power of Storytelling
#GaboureySidibe #ChoosingJoyPodcast #DeborahJoyWinans #SelfLove #Colorism #HollywoodTruths #BlackMotherhood #BlackWomenInFilm #IVFStory #Precious #EmbraceJoy #ConfidenceJourney #BlackExcellence #WomenInHollywood #ActressInterview
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
You are a person. You deserve good thing. I'm not
saying I deserve those things. And you don't know that
I deserve more than you or any of that, and
that we have to like well, you you didn't pray
enough to get my store. You have no idea, but
like we all deserve, so I like I cannot tell
you how often it's you need to be more humble.
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Speaker 4 (00:49):
Hello.
Speaker 3 (00:49):
My name is Deborah Joy Winans Williams, and thank you
so much for tuning in to choosing Joy.
Speaker 4 (00:57):
Today. I am. I am.
Speaker 3 (01:02):
I was already excited knowing who I get to sit
and speak with, But as we've been talking things that
you guys have not been privy to.
Speaker 4 (01:12):
I have really been enamored with her spirit.
Speaker 3 (01:18):
She has wowed us on screen and off screen as well. Truly,
to me, as someone on the outside looking in, I
have been wowed by what I have deemed the grace
that she moves with, that she speaks with, that she
simply holds in her presence. She is a wife, she
(01:42):
is a new mom of two, she's an award winning actress.
But she's just a really beautiful soul. And so I'm
excited to be sitting with the one and only Gabaret Sin.
Speaker 1 (01:59):
See why you already so funny to like, it's always
it's so funny to be quiet while people say nice
things about you.
Speaker 3 (02:06):
Yeah, it is interesting, it is interesting.
Speaker 1 (02:09):
Funeral, Like what's thinking about it? It's just like it's
so strange, Like it's like you're a ghost, you know
what I mean.
Speaker 4 (02:18):
It's nice right here. Yeah, Okay, it's.
Speaker 1 (02:23):
A weird, amazing thing to like get used to.
Speaker 3 (02:26):
Yeah, well, you know when when you have done the
things that you've done, and to me, I think you're
only getting started. You've scratched the surface, but you've scratched
it in such a major way, and to still have
this beauty. It's it's really, you are so funny.
Speaker 1 (02:46):
I'm just thinking, I'm really taking in everything you're saying
because it's like life is so strange and it really
is unpredictable.
Speaker 4 (02:55):
Absolutely like you.
Speaker 1 (02:57):
You know, your best laid plans and then boom, you
were completely wrong. But every I've ended up in a
very very blessed, wonderful space in my life that I'm
very proud of.
Speaker 3 (03:10):
What is the biggest thing that has sort of taken
you by surprise?
Speaker 4 (03:13):
Like what was the plan? And then you found yourself where?
Speaker 1 (03:18):
Well? Certainly, I you know, when I was growing up,
I was going to be a therapist. I went to school.
I was going to go to school for psychology. I
ended up having to drop out so I can be
a movie star instead. So that's like, you know, that's
very get nominated. I know, yeah, I don't think I
(03:43):
hadn't planned on it. I think about all the time
because like my life is so very far away from
what I thought it was going to be that it's
just it's just so yeah, everything is so what and
you know what I do? I yes? And Okay, life
is an improv Okay, I say yes to life, yes,
And I say and what else?
Speaker 4 (04:05):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (04:05):
What else can we do? And then sometimes it just
like ends you up here.
Speaker 4 (04:09):
Yeah, I mean it's a nice it's a nice spot
to be in.
Speaker 1 (04:13):
Honestly, let am use you.
Speaker 3 (04:16):
Look, this may be my plan, but okay, okay, God,
so okay, so you had to drop out, you have
to be a movie star.
Speaker 1 (04:28):
There was nothing I could do. There was my hands.
Speaker 4 (04:31):
We're tired, we're gods. I had to do it.
Speaker 3 (04:38):
What was Precious like for you?
Speaker 4 (04:41):
You know?
Speaker 1 (04:41):
The interesting thing about person I really, I truly believe that,
like I think there are a few things. Okay, I
think that we are led by spirit. I think that
my steps are ordered. I also think that I am
in control of some aspects of my destiny. But I
(05:03):
also believe in like sliding doors that like, you know,
if I hadn't eaten a butterfinger when I was, you know,
in the fourth grade, then I wouldn't be a mom.
You know, Like I kind of believe in a lot
of things. And the funny thing about what Precious was
like for me was that my mom was a My
mom was a subway singer and she was approached to
(05:27):
audition for a movie where she would be playing a
mother who was abusive of her daughter, and it was
based on the book Push. And she told me about
this audition. I said, well, you should do it, and
she's like, no, I don't. I don't think I'm not
going to do it because I don't. My mom was
a teacher for a long time, and she's I don't
(05:47):
want people to think this is who I really am.
And they're like, well, if you were, you're an actor,
people will know that you're acting. And she's like, you
don't get it. You read the book. And so I
read the book and she checked in with me after
and she's like, do you get why? I said no,
and I said, I get it, but I think you
should still go to that audition. I think you're throwing
(06:08):
away an opportunity. And she said, no, I think Monique
should play this role, not me. People know that she's
an actor. I was nineteen at the time. Five years
later or so, I get a call to show up
to this exact same audition for the same exact movie
(06:30):
based on the same exact book. And I only went
because I had read the book. But I'd only read
the book because my mother told me to to explain
why she wasn't going to go to the audition. And
it just happened so fast. I auditioned on Monday and
I was hired Wednesday. Wow, like it happened. So it
was like very out of like I know I showed
(06:52):
up for these buts I showed up. But it was
weirdly out of my control, and even like the casting
directors are like, you're so chill, you're not nervous at all,
Like right before the last audition, I said, well, I'm
not nervous because I simply don't believe you. Because they
were like, you're like we've seen so many people like
are so great, Like you're like this is ah And
I was like sure, jan I was like, Okay, you're
(07:13):
not nervous at all, because I think you're a liar.
Speaker 4 (07:15):
That's my babe.
Speaker 1 (07:17):
But I was cast that Wednesday, and I went, you know,
Lee Daniels is the director, and I went to his
office and met him and in the place of he
had all the cast photos of everyone he had cast
already in their roles and Monique was in the role
of the mother.
Speaker 4 (07:36):
Did that blow your mind?
Speaker 1 (07:37):
You know what, I come from a long line of
women that pretend that they are not psychic. Okay, my grandmother,
my mom grew up Baptists, like old South like Southern
Southern Baptist. And my mother told me that she would
have psychic visions when she was a little girl, but
(07:58):
they were so scary she asked God to take them
away from her. And he did. That's how she's and
he did. But then she like went on to like
weirdly predict a lot of things. And I think her
mother was the same thing. Like she said that her
mom had also had weird psychic visions and then she
also asked God for to take it away, So like
(08:19):
I think that. Yeah, I come from a long line
of people who pretended they are not seeing what they
were seeing. So I wasn't surprised.
Speaker 4 (08:26):
I was like, well, it makes sense.
Speaker 1 (08:28):
Yeah, it makes sense, It all makes sense. It all
makes sense. But filming the movie, for me, I had
never been on a set before, so.
Speaker 4 (08:37):
This was literally your entrance to Hollywood.
Speaker 1 (08:41):
Yeah, yeah, I had done I remember somebody's like that
why she had to, Like she's never done anything before.
She did, Like it said that she did a she
did a production of pet of Pan. It's like I did.
That's how they said it, that's how they that was
the energy around it. She did, and like I had,
(09:02):
I did a college production of Peter Pan, which is
very different. A movie is so wildly different. It's different.
Have you had pizza?
Speaker 4 (09:12):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (09:12):
I actually hate cheerios, Like, no, that's not there. Are
they both food? Yes? But are they No, they're not
the same, not the same thing. Yeah, but that was
my first time ever on set, and I remember thinking, oh,
everybody hates me. They don't they know that I'm not
one of them. No one's looking at me, no one's
talking to me, like nobody wants to be my friend.
(09:35):
And then later I found out that it's set etiquette
to not talk to number one, which I think is
wild to this day. But everyone was told to not
talk to me and to not don't look me in
the eye, and don't talk to her unless she talks
to you. Right, that's crazy. Now I hate people talking
(09:56):
to me. I actually, yeah, let's do that again. But no,
I mean, it's it was, it's I don't know how
any of this works. And I find myself constantly being
trapped between being whatever people think I'm supposed to be
and being like an actual human person.
Speaker 4 (10:15):
Yeah, the human that you want to be. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (10:18):
Yeah, I think it's weird for people not to look
at me and if they're afraid of me or like whatever,
you know, Yeah, I think it's I think it's crazy
and weird. It holds a little too much power and
too little humanity and honestly very little. Yeah, but I
had a great time on set, even though, like the look,
the subject matter of the film is the subject matter. Yeah,
(10:39):
it's traumatizing ex Yeah, but I had a pretty good time.
I was it was my first movie.
Speaker 4 (10:48):
We made our way through and and and you so
I'm sure you've heard this for years. You know this.
Speaker 3 (10:59):
You were absolutely stunning and the world saw it and
understood that. And I'm so happy that you were able
to get your flowers. With that being your sort of
entrance into Hollywood in such a grand way, what did
you think about Hollywood? Like did that form a positive
(11:22):
opinion for you? Or has it been an interesting road
when it comes to Hollywood.
Speaker 1 (11:30):
Here's what I want to say. Yes, I think that
the way people think about Hollywood is very far away
from what Hollywood is because I think we have and
I you know what, I think black people too. I
think black people have a tendency to think of Hollywood
(11:50):
as a weird country that like some because like I'm
for instance, like oh you in the Hollywood and it's
like it's I'm literally driving to work, but I'm.
Speaker 4 (12:00):
Literally hair did you go to work today?
Speaker 1 (12:03):
But that's all it is. It's not like we're not
all sacrificing goats, and like it's not like the Illuminati,
because you know, the Hollywood, the holl I feel like
we give it too much power because we don't understand
it and we don't know that it's actually just.
Speaker 4 (12:20):
It's a job.
Speaker 1 (12:22):
The thing about how he would is an office is
an office. A job is a job. I enjoy what
I do and I don't need to subscribe to like
witchcraft or like it's not it's not like, oh, you're
in a cult, because it's it really is not like
a lot of times it's just me driving to work
(12:44):
and being at work and then driving home, it's me
hanging out next to Crafty like it's you know, it's
like this my breakfast order and saying the lines and
this because I memorize the lines and now I'm saying
it like it's not. I think we give it too
much power, and we say because because a lot of
it is a lot it's it's work, it's hard work,
it's perseverance, and it is a bit of luck like
(13:07):
it is. And so I think we have a tendency
to say, well, I'm a good person. So how did
they get that they got that because they're probably evil
and they're sacrificed some babies and I and it's and
I and first of all, they need to be hump
which I feel like, I feel like I don't I
want black people to let go of being humble, you
(13:31):
let go of the power of being humble or whatever,
cause like I and I don't think it. I just
I am a person. I deserve good things. You are
a person. You deserve good things. I'm not saying I
deserve those things. And you don't know that I deserve
more than you or any of that, and that we
have to like, well, you you didn't pray enough to
(13:51):
get my store. You have no idea, but like we
all deserve. So I think, like I cannot tell you
how often you need to be more humble? Why?
Speaker 4 (14:03):
Yeah? And what is it? Is it a humble that
you can see? Because what tells you that I am?
Speaker 3 (14:10):
Yeah? What's the thing that you think false sort of
humility that people want to walk around with?
Speaker 4 (14:16):
And it's always if.
Speaker 3 (14:17):
I'm doing this, then you know I'm humble and I'm grateful. No,
I just know you just like to put on.
Speaker 4 (14:23):
The shelf for people.
Speaker 1 (14:24):
Yeah, because what is it for, like what is it?
Speaker 2 (14:26):
What is for?
Speaker 1 (14:27):
And am I am? I not humble if I say good?
You know what, I deserve good things, and I'm so
glad that that good thing happened for me. Yes, I'm
so grateful that good happened for me because I worked
really hard and I deserve it. Now I'm not humble
and God won't bless me anymore because I'm not hunting.
Speaker 4 (14:45):
It's like I just and that's not true.
Speaker 1 (14:47):
There's so many there's so many things that we need
to let go of. I think, But I so I
say it to say I think that. Look, Hollywood isn't
necessarily It's not like a country I went to. It's
not like a class I took. It's a place that
I simply worn.
Speaker 4 (15:03):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (15:04):
Yeah, and it's a So I'm really glad that you
said that, because I think a lot of times we
have given this power to Hollywood and we are people
that are simply we're doing a job, We're doing something
we love, we're doing something we've worked for, and at
(15:26):
the end of the day, I can't I'm not I'm
not going to work in care and cancer.
Speaker 4 (15:32):
I'm not.
Speaker 3 (15:33):
I'm not about to go save a child's life. I'm
going and I'm playing make believe and I'm grateful that
I get to sit here and become this character and
create this world and make believe and something that i'm
doing here could touch somebody somewhere out there.
Speaker 4 (15:54):
Yeah, that's what I get to do. And that's beautiful.
Speaker 1 (15:58):
It is You're right, because there's that.
Speaker 3 (16:00):
Power out of making people feel like, oh, you're up there.
Speaker 1 (16:03):
And you're doing Yeah. It's like, no, I am. I
am telling a story. Yeah, I'm telling a story. I'm
telling my story. I'm telling your story. I'm telling her
grandmother story. I'm telling her you know, I'm telling a
story and it's going to connect with someone. Maybe not you,
but it's going to connect with someone. And that is enough.
That is enough. That's simply enough. But I don't believe
(16:24):
that what I do for a living is much more
important than say, what my grandmother did for a living,
and she was she was a maid and a house cleaner,
and she had My grandmother went to work for a
dollar a day and it cost her twenty five cents
to get there and twenty five cents to get back,
and in the meantime, her kids, my mom and her
(16:45):
brothers and sisters had to basically take care of the
house and fit for themselves in a lot of ways.
And I think that one day I'm going to bump
up against a story that tells my grandmother's story. I
also think that, like I think Viola Davis is told
my grandmother story in The Help, you know, because these
are the people, this is the this is the village
(17:08):
that raised me and so many people like me. And
part of what I do is telling their story. And
I get in this way. And Hollywood doesn't need to
be some evil device that is tearing us apart, it's
keeping us or keeping you down and me up or
any of that. It's just, honestly what it is. The
(17:28):
bare bones of what it is is telling stories. Yeah,
and I feel grateful that I get to do that.
Speaker 3 (17:33):
Yeah, That's that's the heart of it. That's the heart
of it. That's the beauty of it.
Speaker 4 (17:40):
I think that so g so.
Speaker 3 (17:44):
I grew up in Detroit, Michigan, born and raised, and
I struggled for a long time with my color, with
feeling like I was too dark for things. And I
think mostly because I just didn't see a lot of
it represented, and so that sometimes made me feel like, oh, well,
(18:08):
I can't do that necessarily. I don't know if I'll
get picked. I'm not light enough, I'm not this. I'm
not that. Hollywood is a little bit different today than
it was back then.
Speaker 4 (18:20):
But do you feel like.
Speaker 3 (18:25):
It has underestimated us some way, somehow still because of
their standards in what they think this should be or
could be or or is better than.
Speaker 1 (18:38):
I mean, it's that a conversation about blackness or a
conversation about colorism within blackness, because it does Hollywood sort
of what is the word? Does Hollywood think that we
as black people might not sell? Yeah, I mean we've
(19:01):
sinners was underestimated and Black Panther was underestimated, even though
we've proven time and time again that our black dollar
is not only strong, that we will show up, that
we will show up if you say that we are
on screen, we will show up to see ourselves on screen.
That will do that. But also, yeah, there still is colorism.
(19:21):
I think that I have run up against I personally
have run up against colorism being a problem more in
my real life than in Hollywood, because like, here's the well,
I've never been my skin, I've never been there's nobody.
It's not an option. I've never been in light skin,
and so like, if you want to hire me for
(19:42):
a role, you have to hire me in the skin,
and there's nothing else to do about it. And so
have I lost out on a role being for not
being light enough? I have no idea, because I don't
think that role was for me. Like, I don't know
have I lost out on things for being black? Sure?
I wance auditioned for a movie to play like some
(20:02):
twenty year old college dropout who worked at a store,
And the note I got back after the audition was, well,
there are no other African Americans cast in cast in
the film, and so we think it'll it'll take audiences out.
It's like, okay, so you wanted an all white utopia,
and like, like the very back that I a black person,
(20:24):
light skin, dark skin, a black person in general just
disturbs the rest of the film, you know, But like
I don't know that it would have that that note
would have been any different ifire light skin. What I'm
saying is I can't really I can't really speak to
it because I'm the only I'm only plus sized, I'm
only black, I'm only dark skinned. So this is all
(20:47):
I ever have to offer. And so you know, the
places I've been cast have casted, They've cast me for
my talent.
Speaker 3 (20:55):
I think, have you always because there's something very beautiful
about just recognizing this is all I have ever been.
And so if you ask me for this, this is
this is what you're only gonna get.
Speaker 4 (21:11):
This is it.
Speaker 3 (21:12):
But there's a there's a there's a beauty in that
sort of resoluteness. Have you always had that confidence and
ability to just be like, well.
Speaker 1 (21:25):
I know that no matter how I show up, somebody's
gonna be upset. Some people will champion, and some people
will be upset, and that there's really nothing I can
do about it. Because people project there. I mean, like
the whole world is a little narcissistic. You know. Sure
by saying I don't like tomatoes, you don't take in
(21:46):
that I don't like tomatoes. You start thinking immediately about
how you feel about tomatoes.
Speaker 4 (21:50):
Yeah, that's just the way the world works.
Speaker 1 (21:51):
Yeah, and so because of that, we we tend to
project ourselves on anybody, everybody. Yeah, And so I have
shown up and been you know, been harold and applauded
and shown up in the same exact place, and I've
been hated for it, and you know, and you know,
(22:14):
and I've disgusted people one way or another, and I
just I just know that I just I am so
used to disappointing people. But I know that it seems
like confidence. It's not. I'm exhausted, and I mean, I'm exhausted.
And also I know I already know, like I already
(22:35):
know how this goes. I grew up in Brooklyn. My
my father is African, my mother is African American. Both
my mom and my dad have the same skin color.
My brother and I pretty much the same skin color.
Like I didn't know that I was darker skinned until
like junior high. I know, it just didn't occur to
(22:56):
me because I went to school with like Puerto Ricans
and Dominicans, a few black kids, and whenever I'm like
you black, like and I'd be like, why are you racist?
Like I think it was about racism, And it wasn't
until my I was like thirteen. My friend was like, no,
you are black compared to me, and I was like
we're both black, Like no, like you are skillet black
(23:18):
and I was like skilled black, Like I was like
what talking I really did not, because I say, I
think we're all like, we're all black, we're all black,
black as black as Yeah. I was like, what are
you talking about? And then and then when I got
I was like, well, okay, so I have darker skin.
Of course I have darker skin. My mom is darker skin,
is darker skin.
Speaker 4 (23:38):
Yeah, what next?
Speaker 1 (23:39):
Like what, Yeah, I'm I don't I'm not gonna I'm
not gonna lighten my skin, like that's yeah, not, although
I did. I did the cover of a magazine once
and I was like, I think I was like the
fifth girl of like fifth black girl to be on
the cover of this magazine and they did not light
me great, and and it was like did you look
(24:03):
Maybe I it was, but I don't know enough about
cameras or angles or I don't know. That's not what
I do. You know, I don't know what I do.
Speaker 4 (24:11):
And I and.
Speaker 1 (24:12):
It was a big story about how like, oh she
lightened her skin or oh she didn't lighten her skin,
then she made them lighten her and the babblah blah.
And I was like, I really don't think about my
dark skin at all. I love here's what I do
think about it. Baby, I could wear the entire rainbow.
Speaker 3 (24:32):
Talk about it and it will all and it's gonna work.
Speaker 1 (24:36):
Black, it's brown, yellow, purple, green, red, pink. I can
do all of it. Why because of my skin color,
I can do them all. That's what I think about.
That's why, although, like with my I think about it
more than I ever did because of my kids. I've
cleansed a daughter and a son, and my son is
(24:59):
darker than my daughter. Like my daughter is really light
skin in a way where you might not know that
she's black. But she rolls her eyes and says clockett.
Her nanna came in, she said, pitiot, And I was like, okay,
no one's confused about your raised girl. But when people
(25:22):
see my kids out like we're out there like, oh
my god, they're so cute. How old is this one
and how old is that one? We didn say they're twins.
They're twins. People are confused. Grown adults are confused as
to why and how they are twins with two different
skin colors. And now, and I think about it more
now because I'm like, when are they going to start
(25:47):
feeling this question?
Speaker 4 (25:48):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (25:50):
When are when is it going to happen? Where one
of them will be treated a certain way because of
their skin color and the other ones. Yeah, and they
each have to bear witness to the difference in their
skin color. That's what I think about, because like I'm
a grown adult and I still be working dark skinned,
light skin, like I'm still I I don't and I
(26:11):
love my skin color. I wouldn't know if I haven't,
if it's somehow stopped me, I wouldn't know.
Speaker 4 (26:17):
Yeah, I love that. Is there a have you been
able to.
Speaker 1 (26:24):
Do?
Speaker 4 (26:24):
You have like a like a routine or a uh
like what is the.
Speaker 3 (26:29):
Thing that you have been able to hold on to,
like the through line in your life that keeps you
centered and grounded?
Speaker 4 (26:38):
Because I think to be able to.
Speaker 3 (26:42):
Not really see that it is because you're so grounded
and focused elsewhere. It feels like, is there is there
something that has kept you that holds you that you
is at your faith?
Speaker 4 (26:53):
Is it your.
Speaker 3 (26:56):
A belief and a certain thing? Like what is what
is your foundation?
Speaker 1 (27:06):
I really think I'm just really exhausted. I really think
I'm just really tired. I have been fat my whole life.
I've been darker my whole life. I've been made fun
of my whole life, my entire life, I have been
told that I'm in the wrong body, in the wrong place,
I'm wrong wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, and the
(27:29):
power to do something about how wrong I seem to
be in other people's eyes. Like I just didn't have
the power to do anything about it. And it has
never meant anything to me. And I used to like
I used to really, I used to cry. I would
spend all day crying because someone made fun of me,
(27:52):
all like, I'm literally somebody's if somebody says something mean
to me. At nine am, I was still crying. At
one point, I would cry through lunch. I would cry.
I just like couldn't stop it, you know, And like
I didn't know then that I was. What I was
having was like a panic attack, but like was what
was happening for me in real time was people get
to say whatever they want about me. They don't have
(28:14):
to care about my feelings, and not even a teacher
will protect me, and no one and then I will
go home from here and my family will make fun
of me too, and so there's no safe space, right
So I don't know what it is. It's just that
I started letting other voices be quirter inquired or inquired
(28:37):
her because you know what, making fun of me on
Monday didn't change anything by Friday, Like it just simply didn't.
And you know what, next Monday is going to be
the same, the same aftor and the same. Like it's
just like it gets boring, It gets boring, and I
got tired of feeling terrible, and so I just don't.
Speaker 4 (29:00):
Just I just don't.
Speaker 1 (29:01):
And also one thing I think I do hold on
to is I look exactly like my mother, And I
think my mom was gorgeous. Like my mom had like
beautiful cheekbones and like beautiful skin and hair and eyes,
and she was so funny and all of these things.
And like it's I'm so glad that I get to
(29:23):
look in the mirror and see her, you know that
I look at my daughter and I see her and
I see me and I see you know, Like that's
really dope. And so I simply don't have it to
care about what some and you cannot please. I can't
please my family, friends or strangers, Like that's crazy. And
so like a stranger in Minnesota who thinks I'm not.
Speaker 4 (29:47):
Gonna cuss here.
Speaker 1 (29:51):
And be respectful, but a professional I'm I've been doing
for a long time, thinking you have a flat in
the tongue, But I don't. I just I can. I
can try to please a thousand strangers, or I can
(30:15):
just please me, And honestly, one of those things is
so much easier to do, and one of them appreciates
it more, and it's me, like I appreciate myself. I
don't really need anybody else to do it. I hope
that answers your question.
Speaker 3 (30:30):
It does, and in such a really, really beautiful way. Gabby,
you are beautiful. Thank you, you are really beautiful.
Speaker 1 (30:41):
Outside you're beautiful, and please be.
Speaker 3 (30:49):
Falsehood that you're beautiful and your spirit is beautiful. So
I know we're wrapping up, but I want to know
because and I asked this because.
Speaker 4 (31:04):
I've been married for a little over twelve years now, and.
Speaker 3 (31:10):
Honest it's a little moment.
Speaker 4 (31:13):
It's a little moment, and it has changed.
Speaker 3 (31:20):
The way my husband has seen me and treats me
has changed. I think in a lot of good ways,
how I have seen myself and how I, in turn
have began to really really love myself. And then, of
course we had a kid and loved my son, but
(31:43):
that also changes all of the dynamics, and so I
just wonder for you, what has your relationship with your
husband shown you about yourself?
Speaker 4 (31:55):
And then when y'all decided to have kids, was it
everything you thought it was gonna be? Were you excited?
Was was it what you wanted? And how is that working?
Speaker 1 (32:06):
Well? My husband, he is a really really good husband.
He's like a really good person though he's generally a
good person, and he's so when we first started dating,
literally on our first date, I was like, Okay, goodbye forever.
And then the next date, I said, this was fun,
(32:27):
goodbye forever. And then on our third day, I was like,
you were so much fun, goodbye forever.
Speaker 4 (32:35):
Like literally just kept being well, were you pushing him away?
Speaker 1 (32:39):
It's not that I was pushing him away? I just
this is okay. I had decided to no longer be
nice to men.
Speaker 3 (32:45):
Okay, Okay, there was there a specific reason why, because
men take advantage of that.
Speaker 1 (32:52):
Because advantage of you being nice to that, they simply do.
I mean, I have so many friends, and I myself
was like doing wife things at girlfriend prices. You feel me?
I mean, like, why why are you writing him a check?
Because he can't But or like why are you taking care?
(33:14):
Oh you're showing up for his cable guy. Girl. He like,
why are you making him this much food?
Speaker 4 (33:19):
Because well you have to.
Speaker 1 (33:20):
I do not believe that you need to show up
as a wife in order to get a husband. I
just don't know.
Speaker 4 (33:26):
I don't.
Speaker 1 (33:26):
I just I just don't make that man ramen and
he will work look for pot ROAs.
Speaker 4 (33:32):
Thank you, okay, because you're.
Speaker 1 (33:34):
Just giving it away, girl, Like you don't, you cannot.
And so I was like, I'm actually and I just
and in that I realized this man keeps showing up
to hang out with me. He just wants me. He
doesn't want what he can get out of me, Like
he's not interested in Like it's not because I cook
real good or I do that. I just he's just
(33:54):
showing up to hang out. And uh he he just
kept showing up and it was fun. I didn't have
to think too much and I found him to be
an actual, real person that was separate from me. I
know that sounds crazy, but like he oh, I'm gonna
say something so crazy. He said something to me that
(34:19):
made me think in a way, and I was like, oh,
this is a brand new thought. That I have never
had on my own. We were hanging out and he said,
you think Helen Keller is a real person or do
you think she was just like a made up thing
to motivate people. I said, excuse me, yeah, yeah, oh
(34:42):
she's deaf and she's blind, but she became a pilot
and she was a writer. And she's like, you think
that was real? And I was like, of course, I
think it's real, you psychopath. But the very fact that
I had never even thought that it was. This is
an original person with his own original yes, and that
was so exciting. But I was like, oh, he's gonna
(35:05):
say things that I thought.
Speaker 4 (35:06):
Weren't accarted me. That's so interesting.
Speaker 1 (35:10):
Yeah, to this day we fight about whether or not.
Speaker 4 (35:14):
Was real.
Speaker 1 (35:15):
It's on, so you should go down. Is that really
like a rabbit hole? There's a tick there? Apparently gen
X doesn't believe that they that she was real, like
but like, I think she might. I think she probably was.
And he was like, no, it was it was what
is she? Anne Sullivan? Who was her handler? Everything was
(35:36):
Anne Sullivan? And I was like sure, sure, but no,
there is a rabbit hole that you can get down on.
TikTok where people are still to this day debating whether
or not she's real. That I never I did not
ever heard this, right, did you you assume she's real?
Speaker 4 (35:54):
Absolutely?
Speaker 1 (35:55):
Why wouldn't she just like.
Speaker 3 (35:56):
And she went through so much and she's like, we
can do anything, Ellen can do it.
Speaker 1 (36:03):
You know what.
Speaker 4 (36:03):
See now I'm mad at you. Now I'm mad at you.
Speaker 1 (36:13):
I'm just saying real eyes, real lies, real lies.
Speaker 3 (36:25):
Absolutely, I'm mad at you, angelus.
Speaker 4 (36:29):
Now I'm mad at both of y'all.
Speaker 1 (36:30):
Here's the thing, though, I was like, Oh, he's an
he's a He's a person who thinks like, I don't
know that I'm smarter than him. I don't think I
I think I could have real conversations with him. And
I listened to it. But I think she existed. There
are people this day to this day that exists and
work and are incredible and are both blind and I
(36:53):
think she's totally possible.
Speaker 4 (36:55):
Absolutely.
Speaker 1 (36:55):
She was a pilot, however.
Speaker 3 (36:58):
Which is interesting, yes, because right, yeah, so that's I mean,
that's the thing. I think the pilot is the thing
that kind of throws everything off. When did she become
a past she she had flown a play and yeah,
or a blimp or something she's flown, something she piloted
(37:18):
an aircraft.
Speaker 1 (37:19):
I don't know. I'm guessing with the help of someone
with a pilot's license.
Speaker 4 (37:25):
And maybe we're gonna.
Speaker 1 (37:28):
I think about this like it's not I'm sure that
there's sure that there was a lot of Yes. I'm
not saying she did exist. I'm sure she did exist.
We we there are people today. I listened to a
podcast on NPR. I'm pretty sure she exists.
Speaker 3 (37:46):
She yes, she she she was a person that was here.
Speaker 1 (37:50):
Yeah, and she probably did do all of those incredible
with the help of.
Speaker 3 (37:55):
Her handler, handler and souvant and and when you look
when you have a handler, when you got help.
Speaker 1 (38:01):
If I had hope, O good things you can Yeah,
you can. You can do anything, you can do it.
Speaker 5 (38:09):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (38:10):
But it was just like he and I would talk
for a long time and it would feel like minutes,
like I think our first date was six hours long
and didn't and it did not feel like six hours. Yeah,
and then our next date was like another twelve It
was like nut, you know, that's amazing. Yeah, it was
so great to say goodbye to him every day.
Speaker 3 (38:30):
So did it feel like he brought something just or
awaken something in you that you didn't know was there.
Speaker 1 (38:38):
Yeah, like I thought, you know, I was what was
I like thirty five or something when I met him,
maybe thirty seven or something. And I was like, oh,
I'm a full actualized person. I'm grown, i am a homeowner.
I have a cat, like I'm about do me. I
have a cat. I'm a very responsible person. And I thought,
(39:02):
I don't need anybody, or I actually don't want anything
or anybody. I don't want it. I am disgusted that
you would think that I would want something. And he
taught me that it's okay to want, and that because
I didn't want, because I was so afraid that I
(39:25):
wouldn't be provided for. But the thing I wanted wasn't
want to that I either it wasn't worth it or
it just that's not in the cards for you. And
he is such a he's so good. I want him
next to me forever. He's the He is my favorite
person to talk to and also my least favorite sometimes
(39:46):
because you know what it is when you have a
husband where you're like, ah, I have this bad news
and I got to tell you. But if I tell
you this bad news, you gonna want to burn everything down.
So it's hard hard to like sometimes because he'll because
he doesn't have the benefit of whatever relationship I have
with who's you know whatever I'm in a feud with,
(40:08):
and he's like, well that person could just we'll we'll
never talk to them, Like yeah, he's like, but he's
a warrior. He's so great. And I and I didn't
really want kids before meeting him. I didn't, you know,
like you know, I was in my thirties, and so
the doctor was like like lying my ovaries, Like girl,
(40:30):
get up and be like, well, if you know you
don't want them, then there's nothing. If you think you
might eventually want them, then we should do something about it.
And I'm like, I actually don't want to. I don't
want to thank you.
Speaker 4 (40:41):
I don't want to.
Speaker 1 (40:41):
I don't want any science involved. Like if it happens,
it happened. And then I met my husband and I
was like, you are so great. I want a small
version of you so I can hold that little version
up to you and be like, look how good you are.
Like that's truly what I wanted, Like I wanted that
I wouldn't be like, look, how great a person you
are and yeah, and deciding. See I was an accident.
(41:07):
I don't know about you. I was unplanned, Okay, I
was an unplanned baby. And that is all I know.
I know that babies happened because you go oops, you know,
like babies happened because the rhythm, you know, the rialeh,
it was off. It was off. And so making the
(41:28):
decision to have a baby was different and scary, and
it took me a long time to come to it,
like so long to come to it. And then uh,
and all of usud when I really wanted it wouldn't happened.
Whatn't happened. We tried for three years. We tried for
three years, three years, and every like you know, when
(41:50):
you're trying, every time, every evidence that you didn't do
it is a disappointment. It hurts. And so we wanted them.
We wanted we wanted my kids so much as a team,
we want and we did everything we could to get them,
like everything we could get them, getting you know, getting
(42:14):
the boys together, the boys, you know, you know what
I mean. Like, and it was I was like, it's
gonna take science, it's gonna take prayer, magics. We're like,
you know, we did everything that we could, and when
we finally got them, just like, it was so scary,
so scary. It's scary now, you know, because like they're
(42:38):
toddlers and they're in that evil Canievil phase where they're like,
look how high I can jump off of this counter?
Like you, It's like yesterday my son, I was holding it.
I was cooking dinner and I like because I was
raising short ribs and so it was taking all day
and I was holding We went out to play and
I was washing his hands and as we were walking
(42:59):
back to the pit and he picked up a butcher
not oh god. He was like la la la, sp
like and I am holding him. It wasn't like it
he was didn't even pick it all the way up.
He just touched that and I was like, no, Cooper, no,
(43:19):
you know, It's so everything is so so scary because
I love it so much. I love being a mom.
I love being a mom. I love I don't even
love being it's not even being a mom. I like
hanging out with those two. I can't believe that these
original people like I'm like every I'm like, you did
not exist in the world two years ago, like you
(43:41):
are a brand new person. Everything is brand new to you.
He took them to something. We took them something called
like Kid's Face and like you have to you park
and then you kind of walk through like a wooded area.
And my kids were.
Speaker 5 (43:53):
Like wow, wow, like they said it fifty times before
we got into oh God, because they saw a tree.
Speaker 1 (44:03):
Everything is new to them. Everything it's so amazing, and
it's like, oh, I have to remember. Everything is really cool.
We took them to the park and these little girls
were like and hang out with Like. My son is
like like that's he's chaotic, so he's awesome. My husband's
like chasing him. I have my daughter who's like much chiller,
and she sees the dog and she's like buppy bumpy
(44:24):
like she's and there's these two little girls and they're
like sparkles on the ground and they said and my
and Maya and my daughters like sort of near them,
and they said to her, do you want to help us?
Like you? And she's like she talks a lot, but
she's she's not in the answering questions face. Yeah, she's
seventeen months and so she's like excuse like what Maya's
(44:45):
like what are you talking? What are you saying to me?
At like what you know? And they said, where mate,
we're collecting sparkles for our stew And then they refer
to literally a dirt hole in the ground with sticks
around it and leaves like a little and I was like, oh, yeah.
Speaker 4 (45:04):
I remembered playing.
Speaker 1 (45:06):
I remember being in a park and being like, we're
creating a stewp We're.
Speaker 4 (45:11):
Creating a magical culder.
Speaker 1 (45:13):
We're like, I imagine, remembered imagination.
Speaker 4 (45:17):
It was so much fun.
Speaker 2 (45:18):
It was so fun.
Speaker 1 (45:19):
And then they were like, has she seen the movie Wish?
And I go, no, she's not allowed to watch TV.
And they're like why And I was like, because I'm
a terrible mother and they were like that checks out.
My mind has been understand screen time.
Speaker 4 (45:34):
No.
Speaker 1 (45:35):
But I it's so amazing to get to re almost
like recreate my own childhood through their eyes. It's so
much fun.
Speaker 4 (45:46):
This is so first of all, thank you, this is.
Speaker 3 (45:52):
And and don't think that I didn't catch the I
was brazing short riffs because honey, I'm coming over because
it's not like you can throw down.
Speaker 4 (46:00):
So that's I call that. Just so you know.
Speaker 1 (46:04):
They still have it on the ground so that I
like my kids.
Speaker 4 (46:07):
And on the ground I already know this, I can,
I just know.
Speaker 3 (46:15):
But what a beautiful way of being able to able
to see life anew. It is wonderful how kids can
just allow us to live again and to see things
in a new way, in a different way, in a
beautiful way.
Speaker 4 (46:36):
You have opened my eyes to.
Speaker 3 (46:40):
Several things, one of which, if you've been listening, you
know you know. But just the way you see life,
the way you see Hollywood, the way you see the
(47:01):
things that are most important to hold on to, and
the way that you really have decided and been determined
to love you. We all need to be able to
love ourselves in that way. Anybody else gonna do it
for us. And that is a breath of fresh air.
(47:22):
And it is a light that you carry that is
really stunning. So thank you, Gabby. Thank you for being here,
Thank you for choosing joy with me today. Thank you
for being a literal piece of joy, a chocolate piece
of joy. I really appreciate you.
Speaker 4 (47:41):
You, thank you, thank.
Speaker 1 (47:44):
You so much. Joy.
Speaker 4 (47:45):
You're incredible.
Speaker 3 (47:46):
I'm so grateful that I got to hear all these
things from the one and only Gabaret sinabe, Please tune in,
Let me know what you're thinking, let me know what
your favorite part of it was, Hit that subscribe button,
like it, and let me let me know what else
you want to hear. We're here for you. We're here
to find ways to keep choosing joy in every situation.
(48:06):
And that's everyday life, okay, And that's not always easy,
So let us know how we.
Speaker 4 (48:12):
Can help you. Thank you, Thank you for tuning in.
Speaker 3 (48:15):
I love you, God bless you, and remember, do your
best to choose joy
You are a person. You deserve good thing. I'm not
saying I deserve those things. And you don't know that
I deserve more than you or any of that, and
that we have to like well, you you didn't pray
enough to get my store. You have no idea, but
like we all deserve, so I like I cannot tell
you how often it's you need to be more humble.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
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Speaker 3 (00:40):
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Speaker 4 (00:49):
Hello.
Speaker 3 (00:49):
My name is Deborah Joy Winans Williams, and thank you
so much for tuning in to choosing Joy.
Speaker 4 (00:57):
Today. I am. I am.
Speaker 3 (01:02):
I was already excited knowing who I get to sit
and speak with, But as we've been talking things that
you guys have not been privy to.
Speaker 4 (01:12):
I have really been enamored with her spirit.
Speaker 3 (01:18):
She has wowed us on screen and off screen as well. Truly,
to me, as someone on the outside looking in, I
have been wowed by what I have deemed the grace
that she moves with, that she speaks with, that she
simply holds in her presence. She is a wife, she
(01:42):
is a new mom of two, she's an award winning actress.
But she's just a really beautiful soul. And so I'm
excited to be sitting with the one and only Gabaret Sin.
Speaker 1 (01:59):
See why you already so funny to like, it's always
it's so funny to be quiet while people say nice
things about you.
Speaker 3 (02:06):
Yeah, it is interesting, it is interesting.
Speaker 1 (02:09):
Funeral, Like what's thinking about it? It's just like it's
so strange, Like it's like you're a ghost, you know
what I mean.
Speaker 4 (02:18):
It's nice right here. Yeah, Okay, it's.
Speaker 1 (02:23):
A weird, amazing thing to like get used to.
Speaker 3 (02:26):
Yeah, well, you know when when you have done the
things that you've done, and to me, I think you're
only getting started. You've scratched the surface, but you've scratched
it in such a major way, and to still have
this beauty. It's it's really, you are so funny.
Speaker 1 (02:46):
I'm just thinking, I'm really taking in everything you're saying
because it's like life is so strange and it really
is unpredictable.
Speaker 4 (02:55):
Absolutely like you.
Speaker 1 (02:57):
You know, your best laid plans and then boom, you
were completely wrong. But every I've ended up in a
very very blessed, wonderful space in my life that I'm
very proud of.
Speaker 3 (03:10):
What is the biggest thing that has sort of taken
you by surprise?
Speaker 4 (03:13):
Like what was the plan? And then you found yourself where?
Speaker 1 (03:18):
Well? Certainly, I you know, when I was growing up,
I was going to be a therapist. I went to school.
I was going to go to school for psychology. I
ended up having to drop out so I can be
a movie star instead. So that's like, you know, that's
very get nominated. I know, yeah, I don't think I
(03:43):
hadn't planned on it. I think about all the time
because like my life is so very far away from
what I thought it was going to be that it's
just it's just so yeah, everything is so what and
you know what I do? I yes? And Okay, life
is an improv Okay, I say yes to life, yes,
And I say and what else?
Speaker 4 (04:05):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (04:05):
What else can we do? And then sometimes it just
like ends you up here.
Speaker 4 (04:09):
Yeah, I mean it's a nice it's a nice spot
to be in.
Speaker 1 (04:13):
Honestly, let am use you.
Speaker 3 (04:16):
Look, this may be my plan, but okay, okay, God,
so okay, so you had to drop out, you have
to be a movie star.
Speaker 1 (04:28):
There was nothing I could do. There was my hands.
Speaker 4 (04:31):
We're tired, we're gods. I had to do it.
Speaker 3 (04:38):
What was Precious like for you?
Speaker 4 (04:41):
You know?
Speaker 1 (04:41):
The interesting thing about person I really, I truly believe that,
like I think there are a few things. Okay, I
think that we are led by spirit. I think that
my steps are ordered. I also think that I am
in control of some aspects of my destiny. But I
(05:03):
also believe in like sliding doors that like, you know,
if I hadn't eaten a butterfinger when I was, you know,
in the fourth grade, then I wouldn't be a mom.
You know, Like I kind of believe in a lot
of things. And the funny thing about what Precious was
like for me was that my mom was a My
mom was a subway singer and she was approached to
(05:27):
audition for a movie where she would be playing a
mother who was abusive of her daughter, and it was
based on the book Push. And she told me about
this audition. I said, well, you should do it, and
she's like, no, I don't. I don't think I'm not
going to do it because I don't. My mom was
a teacher for a long time, and she's I don't
(05:47):
want people to think this is who I really am.
And they're like, well, if you were, you're an actor,
people will know that you're acting. And she's like, you
don't get it. You read the book. And so I
read the book and she checked in with me after
and she's like, do you get why? I said no,
and I said, I get it, but I think you
should still go to that audition. I think you're throwing
(06:08):
away an opportunity. And she said, no, I think Monique
should play this role, not me. People know that she's
an actor. I was nineteen at the time. Five years
later or so, I get a call to show up
to this exact same audition for the same exact movie
(06:30):
based on the same exact book. And I only went
because I had read the book. But I'd only read
the book because my mother told me to to explain
why she wasn't going to go to the audition. And
it just happened so fast. I auditioned on Monday and
I was hired Wednesday. Wow, like it happened. So it
was like very out of like I know I showed
(06:52):
up for these buts I showed up. But it was
weirdly out of my control, and even like the casting
directors are like, you're so chill, you're not nervous at all,
Like right before the last audition, I said, well, I'm
not nervous because I simply don't believe you. Because they
were like, you're like we've seen so many people like
are so great, Like you're like this is ah And
I was like sure, jan I was like, Okay, you're
(07:13):
not nervous at all, because I think you're a liar.
Speaker 4 (07:15):
That's my babe.
Speaker 1 (07:17):
But I was cast that Wednesday, and I went, you know,
Lee Daniels is the director, and I went to his
office and met him and in the place of he
had all the cast photos of everyone he had cast
already in their roles and Monique was in the role
of the mother.
Speaker 4 (07:36):
Did that blow your mind?
Speaker 1 (07:37):
You know what, I come from a long line of
women that pretend that they are not psychic. Okay, my grandmother,
my mom grew up Baptists, like old South like Southern
Southern Baptist. And my mother told me that she would
have psychic visions when she was a little girl, but
(07:58):
they were so scary she asked God to take them
away from her. And he did. That's how she's and
he did. But then she like went on to like
weirdly predict a lot of things. And I think her
mother was the same thing. Like she said that her
mom had also had weird psychic visions and then she
also asked God for to take it away, So like
(08:19):
I think that. Yeah, I come from a long line
of people who pretended they are not seeing what they
were seeing. So I wasn't surprised.
Speaker 4 (08:26):
I was like, well, it makes sense.
Speaker 1 (08:28):
Yeah, it makes sense, It all makes sense. It all
makes sense. But filming the movie, for me, I had
never been on a set before, so.
Speaker 4 (08:37):
This was literally your entrance to Hollywood.
Speaker 1 (08:41):
Yeah, yeah, I had done I remember somebody's like that
why she had to, Like she's never done anything before.
She did, Like it said that she did a she
did a production of pet of Pan. It's like I did.
That's how they said it, that's how they that was
the energy around it. She did, and like I had,
(09:02):
I did a college production of Peter Pan, which is
very different. A movie is so wildly different. It's different.
Have you had pizza?
Speaker 4 (09:12):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (09:12):
I actually hate cheerios, Like, no, that's not there. Are
they both food? Yes? But are they No, they're not
the same, not the same thing. Yeah, but that was
my first time ever on set, and I remember thinking, oh,
everybody hates me. They don't they know that I'm not
one of them. No one's looking at me, no one's
talking to me, like nobody wants to be my friend.
(09:35):
And then later I found out that it's set etiquette
to not talk to number one, which I think is
wild to this day. But everyone was told to not
talk to me and to not don't look me in
the eye, and don't talk to her unless she talks
to you. Right, that's crazy. Now I hate people talking
(09:56):
to me. I actually, yeah, let's do that again. But no,
I mean, it's it was, it's I don't know how
any of this works. And I find myself constantly being
trapped between being whatever people think I'm supposed to be
and being like an actual human person.
Speaker 4 (10:15):
Yeah, the human that you want to be. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (10:18):
Yeah, I think it's weird for people not to look
at me and if they're afraid of me or like whatever,
you know, Yeah, I think it's I think it's crazy
and weird. It holds a little too much power and
too little humanity and honestly very little. Yeah, but I
had a great time on set, even though, like the look,
the subject matter of the film is the subject matter. Yeah,
(10:39):
it's traumatizing ex Yeah, but I had a pretty good time.
I was it was my first movie.
Speaker 4 (10:48):
We made our way through and and and you so
I'm sure you've heard this for years. You know this.
Speaker 3 (10:59):
You were absolutely stunning and the world saw it and
understood that. And I'm so happy that you were able
to get your flowers. With that being your sort of
entrance into Hollywood in such a grand way, what did
you think about Hollywood? Like did that form a positive
(11:22):
opinion for you? Or has it been an interesting road
when it comes to Hollywood.
Speaker 1 (11:30):
Here's what I want to say. Yes, I think that
the way people think about Hollywood is very far away
from what Hollywood is because I think we have and
I you know what, I think black people too. I
think black people have a tendency to think of Hollywood
(11:50):
as a weird country that like some because like I'm
for instance, like oh you in the Hollywood and it's
like it's I'm literally driving to work, but I'm.
Speaker 4 (12:00):
Literally hair did you go to work today?
Speaker 1 (12:03):
But that's all it is. It's not like we're not
all sacrificing goats, and like it's not like the Illuminati,
because you know, the Hollywood, the holl I feel like
we give it too much power because we don't understand
it and we don't know that it's actually just.
Speaker 4 (12:20):
It's a job.
Speaker 1 (12:22):
The thing about how he would is an office is
an office. A job is a job. I enjoy what
I do and I don't need to subscribe to like
witchcraft or like it's not it's not like, oh, you're
in a cult, because it's it really is not like
a lot of times it's just me driving to work
(12:44):
and being at work and then driving home, it's me
hanging out next to Crafty like it's you know, it's
like this my breakfast order and saying the lines and
this because I memorize the lines and now I'm saying
it like it's not. I think we give it too
much power, and we say because because a lot of
it is a lot it's it's work, it's hard work,
it's perseverance, and it is a bit of luck like
(13:07):
it is. And so I think we have a tendency
to say, well, I'm a good person. So how did
they get that they got that because they're probably evil
and they're sacrificed some babies and I and it's and
I and first of all, they need to be hump
which I feel like, I feel like I don't I
want black people to let go of being humble, you
(13:31):
let go of the power of being humble or whatever,
cause like I and I don't think it. I just
I am a person. I deserve good things. You are
a person. You deserve good things. I'm not saying I
deserve those things. And you don't know that I deserve
more than you or any of that, and that we
have to like, well, you you didn't pray enough to
(13:51):
get my store. You have no idea, but like we
all deserve. So I think, like I cannot tell you
how often you need to be more humble? Why?
Speaker 4 (14:03):
Yeah? And what is it? Is it a humble that
you can see? Because what tells you that I am?
Speaker 3 (14:10):
Yeah? What's the thing that you think false sort of
humility that people want to walk around with?
Speaker 4 (14:16):
And it's always if.
Speaker 3 (14:17):
I'm doing this, then you know I'm humble and I'm grateful. No,
I just know you just like to put on.
Speaker 4 (14:23):
The shelf for people.
Speaker 1 (14:24):
Yeah, because what is it for, like what is it?
Speaker 2 (14:26):
What is for?
Speaker 1 (14:27):
And am I am? I not humble if I say good?
You know what, I deserve good things, and I'm so
glad that that good thing happened for me. Yes, I'm
so grateful that good happened for me because I worked
really hard and I deserve it. Now I'm not humble
and God won't bless me anymore because I'm not hunting.
Speaker 4 (14:45):
It's like I just and that's not true.
Speaker 1 (14:47):
There's so many there's so many things that we need
to let go of. I think, But I so I
say it to say I think that. Look, Hollywood isn't
necessarily It's not like a country I went to. It's
not like a class I took. It's a place that
I simply worn.
Speaker 4 (15:03):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (15:04):
Yeah, and it's a So I'm really glad that you
said that, because I think a lot of times we
have given this power to Hollywood and we are people
that are simply we're doing a job, We're doing something
we love, we're doing something we've worked for, and at
(15:26):
the end of the day, I can't I'm not I'm
not going to work in care and cancer.
Speaker 4 (15:32):
I'm not.
Speaker 3 (15:33):
I'm not about to go save a child's life. I'm
going and I'm playing make believe and I'm grateful that
I get to sit here and become this character and
create this world and make believe and something that i'm
doing here could touch somebody somewhere out there.
Speaker 4 (15:54):
Yeah, that's what I get to do. And that's beautiful.
Speaker 1 (15:58):
It is You're right, because there's that.
Speaker 3 (16:00):
Power out of making people feel like, oh, you're up there.
Speaker 1 (16:03):
And you're doing Yeah. It's like, no, I am. I
am telling a story. Yeah, I'm telling a story. I'm
telling my story. I'm telling your story. I'm telling her
grandmother story. I'm telling her you know, I'm telling a
story and it's going to connect with someone. Maybe not you,
but it's going to connect with someone. And that is enough.
That is enough. That's simply enough. But I don't believe
(16:24):
that what I do for a living is much more
important than say, what my grandmother did for a living,
and she was she was a maid and a house cleaner,
and she had My grandmother went to work for a
dollar a day and it cost her twenty five cents
to get there and twenty five cents to get back,
and in the meantime, her kids, my mom and her
(16:45):
brothers and sisters had to basically take care of the
house and fit for themselves in a lot of ways.
And I think that one day I'm going to bump
up against a story that tells my grandmother's story. I
also think that, like I think Viola Davis is told
my grandmother story in The Help, you know, because these
are the people, this is the this is the village
(17:08):
that raised me and so many people like me. And
part of what I do is telling their story. And
I get in this way. And Hollywood doesn't need to
be some evil device that is tearing us apart, it's
keeping us or keeping you down and me up or
any of that. It's just, honestly what it is. The
(17:28):
bare bones of what it is is telling stories. Yeah,
and I feel grateful that I get to do that.
Speaker 3 (17:33):
Yeah, That's that's the heart of it. That's the heart
of it. That's the beauty of it.
Speaker 4 (17:40):
I think that so g so.
Speaker 3 (17:44):
I grew up in Detroit, Michigan, born and raised, and
I struggled for a long time with my color, with
feeling like I was too dark for things. And I
think mostly because I just didn't see a lot of
it represented, and so that sometimes made me feel like, oh, well,
(18:08):
I can't do that necessarily. I don't know if I'll
get picked. I'm not light enough, I'm not this. I'm
not that. Hollywood is a little bit different today than
it was back then.
Speaker 4 (18:20):
But do you feel like.
Speaker 3 (18:25):
It has underestimated us some way, somehow still because of
their standards in what they think this should be or
could be or or is better than.
Speaker 1 (18:38):
I mean, it's that a conversation about blackness or a
conversation about colorism within blackness, because it does Hollywood sort
of what is the word? Does Hollywood think that we
as black people might not sell? Yeah, I mean we've
(19:01):
sinners was underestimated and Black Panther was underestimated, even though
we've proven time and time again that our black dollar
is not only strong, that we will show up, that
we will show up if you say that we are
on screen, we will show up to see ourselves on screen.
That will do that. But also, yeah, there still is colorism.
(19:21):
I think that I have run up against I personally
have run up against colorism being a problem more in
my real life than in Hollywood, because like, here's the well,
I've never been my skin, I've never been there's nobody.
It's not an option. I've never been in light skin,
and so like, if you want to hire me for
(19:42):
a role, you have to hire me in the skin,
and there's nothing else to do about it. And so
have I lost out on a role being for not
being light enough? I have no idea, because I don't
think that role was for me. Like, I don't know
have I lost out on things for being black? Sure?
I wance auditioned for a movie to play like some
(20:02):
twenty year old college dropout who worked at a store,
And the note I got back after the audition was, well,
there are no other African Americans cast in cast in
the film, and so we think it'll it'll take audiences out.
It's like, okay, so you wanted an all white utopia,
and like, like the very back that I a black person,
(20:24):
light skin, dark skin, a black person in general just
disturbs the rest of the film, you know, But like
I don't know that it would have that that note
would have been any different ifire light skin. What I'm
saying is I can't really I can't really speak to
it because I'm the only I'm only plus sized, I'm
only black, I'm only dark skinned. So this is all
(20:47):
I ever have to offer. And so you know, the
places I've been cast have casted, They've cast me for
my talent.
Speaker 3 (20:55):
I think, have you always because there's something very beautiful
about just recognizing this is all I have ever been.
And so if you ask me for this, this is
this is what you're only gonna get.
Speaker 4 (21:11):
This is it.
Speaker 3 (21:12):
But there's a there's a there's a beauty in that
sort of resoluteness. Have you always had that confidence and
ability to just be like, well.
Speaker 1 (21:25):
I know that no matter how I show up, somebody's
gonna be upset. Some people will champion, and some people
will be upset, and that there's really nothing I can
do about it. Because people project there. I mean, like
the whole world is a little narcissistic. You know. Sure
by saying I don't like tomatoes, you don't take in
(21:46):
that I don't like tomatoes. You start thinking immediately about
how you feel about tomatoes.
Speaker 4 (21:50):
Yeah, that's just the way the world works.
Speaker 1 (21:51):
Yeah, and so because of that, we we tend to
project ourselves on anybody, everybody. Yeah, And so I have
shown up and been you know, been harold and applauded
and shown up in the same exact place, and I've
been hated for it, and you know, and you know,
(22:14):
and I've disgusted people one way or another, and I
just I just know that I just I am so
used to disappointing people. But I know that it seems
like confidence. It's not. I'm exhausted, and I mean, I'm exhausted.
And also I know I already know, like I already
(22:35):
know how this goes. I grew up in Brooklyn. My
my father is African, my mother is African American. Both
my mom and my dad have the same skin color.
My brother and I pretty much the same skin color.
Like I didn't know that I was darker skinned until
like junior high. I know, it just didn't occur to
(22:56):
me because I went to school with like Puerto Ricans
and Dominicans, a few black kids, and whenever I'm like
you black, like and I'd be like, why are you racist?
Like I think it was about racism, And it wasn't
until my I was like thirteen. My friend was like, no,
you are black compared to me, and I was like
we're both black, Like no, like you are skillet black
(23:18):
and I was like skilled black, Like I was like
what talking I really did not, because I say, I
think we're all like, we're all black, we're all black,
black as black as Yeah. I was like, what are
you talking about? And then and then when I got
I was like, well, okay, so I have darker skin.
Of course I have darker skin. My mom is darker skin,
is darker skin.
Speaker 4 (23:38):
Yeah, what next?
Speaker 1 (23:39):
Like what, Yeah, I'm I don't I'm not gonna I'm
not gonna lighten my skin, like that's yeah, not, although
I did. I did the cover of a magazine once
and I was like, I think I was like the
fifth girl of like fifth black girl to be on
the cover of this magazine and they did not light
me great, and and it was like did you look
(24:03):
Maybe I it was, but I don't know enough about
cameras or angles or I don't know. That's not what
I do. You know, I don't know what I do.
Speaker 4 (24:11):
And I and.
Speaker 1 (24:12):
It was a big story about how like, oh she
lightened her skin or oh she didn't lighten her skin,
then she made them lighten her and the babblah blah.
And I was like, I really don't think about my
dark skin at all. I love here's what I do
think about it. Baby, I could wear the entire rainbow.
Speaker 3 (24:32):
Talk about it and it will all and it's gonna work.
Speaker 1 (24:36):
Black, it's brown, yellow, purple, green, red, pink. I can
do all of it. Why because of my skin color,
I can do them all. That's what I think about.
That's why, although, like with my I think about it
more than I ever did because of my kids. I've
cleansed a daughter and a son, and my son is
(24:59):
darker than my daughter. Like my daughter is really light
skin in a way where you might not know that
she's black. But she rolls her eyes and says clockett.
Her nanna came in, she said, pitiot, And I was like, okay,
no one's confused about your raised girl. But when people
(25:22):
see my kids out like we're out there like, oh
my god, they're so cute. How old is this one
and how old is that one? We didn say they're twins.
They're twins. People are confused. Grown adults are confused as
to why and how they are twins with two different
skin colors. And now, and I think about it more
now because I'm like, when are they going to start
(25:47):
feeling this question?
Speaker 4 (25:48):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (25:50):
When are when is it going to happen? Where one
of them will be treated a certain way because of
their skin color and the other ones. Yeah, and they
each have to bear witness to the difference in their
skin color. That's what I think about, because like I'm
a grown adult and I still be working dark skinned,
light skin, like I'm still I I don't and I
(26:11):
love my skin color. I wouldn't know if I haven't,
if it's somehow stopped me, I wouldn't know.
Speaker 4 (26:17):
Yeah, I love that. Is there a have you been
able to.
Speaker 1 (26:24):
Do?
Speaker 4 (26:24):
You have like a like a routine or a uh
like what is the.
Speaker 3 (26:29):
Thing that you have been able to hold on to,
like the through line in your life that keeps you
centered and grounded?
Speaker 4 (26:38):
Because I think to be able to.
Speaker 3 (26:42):
Not really see that it is because you're so grounded
and focused elsewhere. It feels like, is there is there
something that has kept you that holds you that you
is at your faith?
Speaker 4 (26:53):
Is it your.
Speaker 3 (26:56):
A belief and a certain thing? Like what is what
is your foundation?
Speaker 1 (27:06):
I really think I'm just really exhausted. I really think
I'm just really tired. I have been fat my whole life.
I've been darker my whole life. I've been made fun
of my whole life, my entire life, I have been
told that I'm in the wrong body, in the wrong place,
I'm wrong wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, and the
(27:29):
power to do something about how wrong I seem to
be in other people's eyes. Like I just didn't have
the power to do anything about it. And it has
never meant anything to me. And I used to like
I used to really, I used to cry. I would
spend all day crying because someone made fun of me,
(27:52):
all like, I'm literally somebody's if somebody says something mean
to me. At nine am, I was still crying. At
one point, I would cry through lunch. I would cry.
I just like couldn't stop it, you know, And like
I didn't know then that I was. What I was
having was like a panic attack, but like was what
was happening for me in real time was people get
to say whatever they want about me. They don't have
(28:14):
to care about my feelings, and not even a teacher
will protect me, and no one and then I will
go home from here and my family will make fun
of me too, and so there's no safe space, right
So I don't know what it is. It's just that
I started letting other voices be quirter inquired or inquired
(28:37):
her because you know what, making fun of me on
Monday didn't change anything by Friday, Like it just simply didn't.
And you know what, next Monday is going to be
the same, the same aftor and the same. Like it's
just like it gets boring, It gets boring, and I
got tired of feeling terrible, and so I just don't.
Speaker 4 (29:00):
Just I just don't.
Speaker 1 (29:01):
And also one thing I think I do hold on
to is I look exactly like my mother, And I
think my mom was gorgeous. Like my mom had like
beautiful cheekbones and like beautiful skin and hair and eyes,
and she was so funny and all of these things.
And like it's I'm so glad that I get to
(29:23):
look in the mirror and see her, you know that
I look at my daughter and I see her and
I see me and I see you know, Like that's
really dope. And so I simply don't have it to
care about what some and you cannot please. I can't
please my family, friends or strangers, Like that's crazy. And
so like a stranger in Minnesota who thinks I'm not.
Speaker 4 (29:47):
Gonna cuss here.
Speaker 1 (29:51):
And be respectful, but a professional I'm I've been doing
for a long time, thinking you have a flat in
the tongue, But I don't. I just I can. I
can try to please a thousand strangers, or I can
(30:15):
just please me, And honestly, one of those things is
so much easier to do, and one of them appreciates
it more, and it's me, like I appreciate myself. I
don't really need anybody else to do it. I hope
that answers your question.
Speaker 3 (30:30):
It does, and in such a really, really beautiful way. Gabby,
you are beautiful. Thank you, you are really beautiful.
Speaker 1 (30:41):
Outside you're beautiful, and please be.
Speaker 3 (30:49):
Falsehood that you're beautiful and your spirit is beautiful. So
I know we're wrapping up, but I want to know
because and I asked this because.
Speaker 4 (31:04):
I've been married for a little over twelve years now, and.
Speaker 3 (31:10):
Honest it's a little moment.
Speaker 4 (31:13):
It's a little moment, and it has changed.
Speaker 3 (31:20):
The way my husband has seen me and treats me
has changed. I think in a lot of good ways,
how I have seen myself and how I, in turn
have began to really really love myself. And then, of
course we had a kid and loved my son, but
(31:43):
that also changes all of the dynamics, and so I
just wonder for you, what has your relationship with your
husband shown you about yourself?
Speaker 4 (31:55):
And then when y'all decided to have kids, was it
everything you thought it was gonna be? Were you excited?
Was was it what you wanted? And how is that working?
Speaker 1 (32:06):
Well? My husband, he is a really really good husband.
He's like a really good person though he's generally a
good person, and he's so when we first started dating,
literally on our first date, I was like, Okay, goodbye forever.
And then the next date, I said, this was fun,
(32:27):
goodbye forever. And then on our third day, I was like,
you were so much fun, goodbye forever.
Speaker 4 (32:35):
Like literally just kept being well, were you pushing him away?
Speaker 1 (32:39):
It's not that I was pushing him away? I just
this is okay. I had decided to no longer be
nice to men.
Speaker 3 (32:45):
Okay, Okay, there was there a specific reason why, because
men take advantage of that.
Speaker 1 (32:52):
Because advantage of you being nice to that, they simply do.
I mean, I have so many friends, and I myself
was like doing wife things at girlfriend prices. You feel me?
I mean, like, why why are you writing him a check?
Because he can't But or like why are you taking care?
(33:14):
Oh you're showing up for his cable guy. Girl. He like,
why are you making him this much food?
Speaker 4 (33:19):
Because well you have to.
Speaker 1 (33:20):
I do not believe that you need to show up
as a wife in order to get a husband. I
just don't know.
Speaker 4 (33:26):
I don't.
Speaker 1 (33:26):
I just I just don't make that man ramen and
he will work look for pot ROAs.
Speaker 4 (33:32):
Thank you, okay, because you're.
Speaker 1 (33:34):
Just giving it away, girl, Like you don't, you cannot.
And so I was like, I'm actually and I just
and in that I realized this man keeps showing up
to hang out with me. He just wants me. He
doesn't want what he can get out of me, Like
he's not interested in Like it's not because I cook
real good or I do that. I just he's just
(33:54):
showing up to hang out. And uh he he just
kept showing up and it was fun. I didn't have
to think too much and I found him to be
an actual, real person that was separate from me. I
know that sounds crazy, but like he oh, I'm gonna
say something so crazy. He said something to me that
(34:19):
made me think in a way, and I was like, oh,
this is a brand new thought. That I have never
had on my own. We were hanging out and he said,
you think Helen Keller is a real person or do
you think she was just like a made up thing
to motivate people. I said, excuse me, yeah, yeah, oh
(34:42):
she's deaf and she's blind, but she became a pilot
and she was a writer. And she's like, you think
that was real? And I was like, of course, I
think it's real, you psychopath. But the very fact that
I had never even thought that it was. This is
an original person with his own original yes, and that
was so exciting. But I was like, oh, he's gonna
(35:05):
say things that I thought.
Speaker 4 (35:06):
Weren't accarted me. That's so interesting.
Speaker 1 (35:10):
Yeah, to this day we fight about whether or not.
Speaker 4 (35:14):
Was real.
Speaker 1 (35:15):
It's on, so you should go down. Is that really
like a rabbit hole? There's a tick there? Apparently gen
X doesn't believe that they that she was real, like
but like, I think she might. I think she probably was.
And he was like, no, it was it was what
is she? Anne Sullivan? Who was her handler? Everything was
(35:36):
Anne Sullivan? And I was like sure, sure, but no,
there is a rabbit hole that you can get down on.
TikTok where people are still to this day debating whether
or not she's real. That I never I did not
ever heard this, right, did you you assume she's real?
Speaker 4 (35:54):
Absolutely?
Speaker 1 (35:55):
Why wouldn't she just like.
Speaker 3 (35:56):
And she went through so much and she's like, we
can do anything, Ellen can do it.
Speaker 1 (36:03):
You know what.
Speaker 4 (36:03):
See now I'm mad at you. Now I'm mad at you.
Speaker 1 (36:13):
I'm just saying real eyes, real lies, real lies.
Speaker 3 (36:25):
Absolutely, I'm mad at you, angelus.
Speaker 4 (36:29):
Now I'm mad at both of y'all.
Speaker 1 (36:30):
Here's the thing, though, I was like, Oh, he's an
he's a He's a person who thinks like, I don't
know that I'm smarter than him. I don't think I
I think I could have real conversations with him. And
I listened to it. But I think she existed. There
are people this day to this day that exists and
work and are incredible and are both blind and I
(36:53):
think she's totally possible.
Speaker 4 (36:55):
Absolutely.
Speaker 1 (36:55):
She was a pilot, however.
Speaker 3 (36:58):
Which is interesting, yes, because right, yeah, so that's I mean,
that's the thing. I think the pilot is the thing
that kind of throws everything off. When did she become
a past she she had flown a play and yeah,
or a blimp or something she's flown, something she piloted
(37:18):
an aircraft.
Speaker 1 (37:19):
I don't know. I'm guessing with the help of someone
with a pilot's license.
Speaker 4 (37:25):
And maybe we're gonna.
Speaker 1 (37:28):
I think about this like it's not I'm sure that
there's sure that there was a lot of Yes. I'm
not saying she did exist. I'm sure she did exist.
We we there are people today. I listened to a
podcast on NPR. I'm pretty sure she exists.
Speaker 3 (37:46):
She yes, she she she was a person that was here.
Speaker 1 (37:50):
Yeah, and she probably did do all of those incredible
with the help of.
Speaker 3 (37:55):
Her handler, handler and souvant and and when you look
when you have a handler, when you got help.
Speaker 1 (38:01):
If I had hope, O good things you can Yeah,
you can. You can do anything, you can do it.
Speaker 5 (38:09):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (38:10):
But it was just like he and I would talk
for a long time and it would feel like minutes,
like I think our first date was six hours long
and didn't and it did not feel like six hours. Yeah,
and then our next date was like another twelve It
was like nut, you know, that's amazing. Yeah, it was
so great to say goodbye to him every day.
Speaker 3 (38:30):
So did it feel like he brought something just or
awaken something in you that you didn't know was there.
Speaker 1 (38:38):
Yeah, like I thought, you know, I was what was
I like thirty five or something when I met him,
maybe thirty seven or something. And I was like, oh,
I'm a full actualized person. I'm grown, i am a homeowner.
I have a cat, like I'm about do me. I
have a cat. I'm a very responsible person. And I thought,
(39:02):
I don't need anybody, or I actually don't want anything
or anybody. I don't want it. I am disgusted that
you would think that I would want something. And he
taught me that it's okay to want, and that because
I didn't want, because I was so afraid that I
(39:25):
wouldn't be provided for. But the thing I wanted wasn't
want to that I either it wasn't worth it or
it just that's not in the cards for you. And
he is such a he's so good. I want him
next to me forever. He's the He is my favorite
person to talk to and also my least favorite sometimes
(39:46):
because you know what it is when you have a
husband where you're like, ah, I have this bad news
and I got to tell you. But if I tell
you this bad news, you gonna want to burn everything down.
So it's hard hard to like sometimes because he'll because
he doesn't have the benefit of whatever relationship I have
with who's you know whatever I'm in a feud with,
(40:08):
and he's like, well that person could just we'll we'll
never talk to them, Like yeah, he's like, but he's
a warrior. He's so great. And I and I didn't
really want kids before meeting him. I didn't, you know,
like you know, I was in my thirties, and so
the doctor was like like lying my ovaries, Like girl,
(40:30):
get up and be like, well, if you know you
don't want them, then there's nothing. If you think you
might eventually want them, then we should do something about it.
And I'm like, I actually don't want to. I don't
want to thank you.
Speaker 4 (40:41):
I don't want to.
Speaker 1 (40:41):
I don't want any science involved. Like if it happens,
it happened. And then I met my husband and I
was like, you are so great. I want a small
version of you so I can hold that little version
up to you and be like, look how good you are.
Like that's truly what I wanted, Like I wanted that
I wouldn't be like, look, how great a person you
are and yeah, and deciding. See I was an accident.
(41:07):
I don't know about you. I was unplanned, Okay, I
was an unplanned baby. And that is all I know.
I know that babies happened because you go oops, you know,
like babies happened because the rhythm, you know, the rialeh,
it was off. It was off. And so making the
(41:28):
decision to have a baby was different and scary, and
it took me a long time to come to it,
like so long to come to it. And then uh,
and all of usud when I really wanted it wouldn't happened.
Whatn't happened. We tried for three years. We tried for
three years, three years, and every like you know, when
(41:50):
you're trying, every time, every evidence that you didn't do
it is a disappointment. It hurts. And so we wanted them.
We wanted we wanted my kids so much as a team,
we want and we did everything we could to get them,
like everything we could get them, getting you know, getting
(42:14):
the boys together, the boys, you know, you know what
I mean. Like, and it was I was like, it's
gonna take science, it's gonna take prayer, magics. We're like,
you know, we did everything that we could, and when
we finally got them, just like, it was so scary,
so scary. It's scary now, you know, because like they're
(42:38):
toddlers and they're in that evil Canievil phase where they're like,
look how high I can jump off of this counter?
Like you, It's like yesterday my son, I was holding it.
I was cooking dinner and I like because I was
raising short ribs and so it was taking all day
and I was holding We went out to play and
I was washing his hands and as we were walking
(42:59):
back to the pit and he picked up a butcher
not oh god. He was like la la la, sp
like and I am holding him. It wasn't like it
he was didn't even pick it all the way up.
He just touched that and I was like, no, Cooper, no,
(43:19):
you know, It's so everything is so so scary because
I love it so much. I love being a mom.
I love being a mom. I love I don't even
love being it's not even being a mom. I like
hanging out with those two. I can't believe that these
original people like I'm like every I'm like, you did
not exist in the world two years ago, like you
(43:41):
are a brand new person. Everything is brand new to you.
He took them to something. We took them something called
like Kid's Face and like you have to you park
and then you kind of walk through like a wooded area.
And my kids were.
Speaker 5 (43:53):
Like wow, wow, like they said it fifty times before
we got into oh God, because they saw a tree.
Speaker 1 (44:03):
Everything is new to them. Everything it's so amazing, and
it's like, oh, I have to remember. Everything is really cool.
We took them to the park and these little girls
were like and hang out with Like. My son is
like like that's he's chaotic, so he's awesome. My husband's
like chasing him. I have my daughter who's like much chiller,
and she sees the dog and she's like buppy bumpy
(44:24):
like she's and there's these two little girls and they're
like sparkles on the ground and they said and my
and Maya and my daughters like sort of near them,
and they said to her, do you want to help us?
Like you? And she's like she talks a lot, but
she's she's not in the answering questions face. Yeah, she's
seventeen months and so she's like excuse like what Maya's
(44:45):
like what are you talking? What are you saying to me?
At like what you know? And they said, where mate,
we're collecting sparkles for our stew And then they refer
to literally a dirt hole in the ground with sticks
around it and leaves like a little and I was like, oh, yeah.
Speaker 4 (45:04):
I remembered playing.
Speaker 1 (45:06):
I remember being in a park and being like, we're
creating a stewp We're.
Speaker 4 (45:11):
Creating a magical culder.
Speaker 1 (45:13):
We're like, I imagine, remembered imagination.
Speaker 4 (45:17):
It was so much fun.
Speaker 2 (45:18):
It was so fun.
Speaker 1 (45:19):
And then they were like, has she seen the movie Wish?
And I go, no, she's not allowed to watch TV.
And they're like why And I was like, because I'm
a terrible mother and they were like that checks out.
My mind has been understand screen time.
Speaker 4 (45:34):
No.
Speaker 1 (45:35):
But I it's so amazing to get to re almost
like recreate my own childhood through their eyes. It's so
much fun.
Speaker 4 (45:46):
This is so first of all, thank you, this is.
Speaker 3 (45:52):
And and don't think that I didn't catch the I
was brazing short riffs because honey, I'm coming over because
it's not like you can throw down.
Speaker 4 (46:00):
So that's I call that. Just so you know.
Speaker 1 (46:04):
They still have it on the ground so that I
like my kids.
Speaker 4 (46:07):
And on the ground I already know this, I can,
I just know.
Speaker 3 (46:15):
But what a beautiful way of being able to able
to see life anew. It is wonderful how kids can
just allow us to live again and to see things
in a new way, in a different way, in a
beautiful way.
Speaker 4 (46:36):
You have opened my eyes to.
Speaker 3 (46:40):
Several things, one of which, if you've been listening, you
know you know. But just the way you see life,
the way you see Hollywood, the way you see the
(47:01):
things that are most important to hold on to, and
the way that you really have decided and been determined
to love you. We all need to be able to
love ourselves in that way. Anybody else gonna do it
for us. And that is a breath of fresh air.
(47:22):
And it is a light that you carry that is
really stunning. So thank you, Gabby. Thank you for being here,
Thank you for choosing joy with me today. Thank you
for being a literal piece of joy, a chocolate piece
of joy. I really appreciate you.
Speaker 4 (47:41):
You, thank you, thank.
Speaker 1 (47:44):
You so much. Joy.
Speaker 4 (47:45):
You're incredible.
Speaker 3 (47:46):
I'm so grateful that I got to hear all these
things from the one and only Gabaret sinabe, Please tune in,
Let me know what you're thinking, let me know what
your favorite part of it was, Hit that subscribe button,
like it, and let me let me know what else
you want to hear. We're here for you. We're here
to find ways to keep choosing joy in every situation.
(48:06):
And that's everyday life, okay, And that's not always easy,
So let us know how we.
Speaker 4 (48:12):
Can help you. Thank you, Thank you for tuning in.
Speaker 3 (48:15):
I love you, God bless you, and remember, do your
best to choose joy
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