July 24, 2025 • 36 mins
How do you forgive what feels unforgivable? How do you reclaim parts of yourself the world told you to hide? In this powerful and emotional episode of Choosing Joy, actress, singer, and Broadway icon Merle Dandridge sits down with Deborah Joy Winans Williams to talk about life beyond Greenleaf, the power of grace, and the joy of becoming whole.
From discovering an entire side of her Korean heritage to navigating identity in Hollywood, Merle opens up about family, faith, and how therapy, truth, and curiosity helped her reconnect with lost pieces of herself. This heartfelt conversation explores sisterhood, the role of forgiveness, and how she’s learning to live boldly in her purpose — whether that’s on stage, on screen, or in service to others through her work with Harvest Home LA.
✨ If you’ve ever struggled to release old narratives, heal generational pain, or believe your fullness is enough — this episode is your invitation to choose joy, anyway.
Chapters
00:00 – Greenleaf Memories & Character Truths
01:00 – Deborah Joy’s Tribute to Merle
04:00 – Saying Yes to Purpose (Through Tears!)
06:00 – How Greenleaf Opened Healing Conversations
08:30 – Humanity, Church & Breaking the Rules
10:30 – Why Charity Was Misunderstood
13:00 – Merle’s Hidden Korean Family Story
16:00 – Forgiveness, Grace & Asking Better Questions
18:30 – Seeing Your Parents as People
21:00 – Living Lit Up & Overflowing with Joy
23:00 – Broadway, Film, and Finding Her Voice
26:00 – “My Fullness is Perfect”
27:00 – Harvest Home: Serving Unhoused Mothers
30:00 – Choosing Joy Through Service
32:00 – This or That: Stage or Screen, Quiet or Loud
35:00 – Final Reflections & Sisterhood
#MerleDandridge #ChoosingJoyPodcast #DeborahJoyWinansWilliams #GreenleafCast #ForgivenessAndHealing #FaithAndFamily #KoreanAmericanStory #BroadwayActress #HarvestHomeLA #LiveInYourFullness #WomenSupportingWomen #BlackAndAsianIdentity #HealingThroughConversation #ChooseJoy
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
I think charity was lost for so long, and so
that's why people God so mad at me when they
saw me.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
But I got her.
Speaker 3 (00:09):
I understood what she was. Massy.
Speaker 1 (00:10):
She was a little massy, yeah yeah, but she loved
the Lord.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
Hello.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
I am Deborah Joy Winen's Williams and this is choosing Joy.
Speaker 3 (00:23):
Thank you for being with us.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
And today I am so so very excited because ooh,
where do I begin?
Speaker 3 (00:33):
This woman has changed my life.
Speaker 1 (00:36):
You get to work with a lot of people in life,
do a lot of things. Very seldom do they become
a part of your fabric, a part of your journey
the rest of your journey in life. And I am
so blessed to have met a woman that has shown
me professionalism, sisterhood, what it looks like to have faith
(01:05):
in the most difficult situations.
Speaker 3 (01:09):
Incredible talent.
Speaker 1 (01:11):
Just the depth of talent is I think still yet
to be known. And a beauty and a grace that
she walks through so much of life with.
Speaker 2 (01:21):
That is very hard to do, y'all.
Speaker 1 (01:23):
She is on the upcoming season of Citadel. She has
worked with the Russo Brothers. She is Broadway. She is Broadway, honestly, y'all.
She is Broadway. She is everything that an actor can
dream to be. If you think it, she's done it.
And it's exciting that I get to work with her
(01:43):
and I don't just get to call her a cast
mate or just a friend. She is my sister in
real life. Please welcome Merle Dandridge.
Speaker 4 (01:53):
Sure, Deeparahtoy, you said, choosing joy, I am temporatoy.
Speaker 2 (02:00):
Why's Williams?
Speaker 4 (02:02):
And I got the water works going because seeing you,
first of all, just seeing you in your element like this,
being able to spend time with you like this and
here we are ten years you know, down and they
said roll and I and I looked at you and
just started crying. I didn't expect to be this emotional,
(02:23):
because you know, we talk, we talk about these kind
of deep things, and we've been through a lot of
stuff together. But watching you sit in the middle of
your power and your purpose is is always a thrill
for me because I know from whence it comes, you know,
I know where to where you, where you've been through
(02:44):
and the journey of I think stepping into everything that
God has called you to is not always an easy
one because there's pitfalls, there's there's uh naysayers, sometimes it's
just the voice in the back of your head, always
gorgeous inside and out, but just fully unleashing yourself. As
(03:07):
soon as they saw they hit role, I was like,
there it is. That's the thing that we have been
talking about for a decade a decade, and that has
always been there, and you have and we have all
seen it. We have all seen it play out, even
when you doubt it. It's ministering to me. And also
(03:28):
it's just making me so happy. It makes me so
happy when someone you love is has walked through that
squeeze of whatever, whatever noise or whatever whatever tape has
been playing in the back and says yes.
Speaker 2 (03:46):
To God's destiny.
Speaker 4 (03:47):
Anyway, Yeah right, and that's I think that's what I'm
crying about, just because I remember those days in the studio,
you know, when we were just starting Green Leaf. I
remember those first days when we were sitting around the
dinner table figuring out are we really doing this? And
we were all like, oh.
Speaker 2 (04:07):
And then and then here we are. I didn't expect
that to make me so emotional. Okay, there you go
go on.
Speaker 4 (04:15):
Okay, that's podcast now, I'm ready to podcast.
Speaker 3 (04:23):
This is why I love you.
Speaker 1 (04:26):
It's merle it is just it is really, I'm just delighted.
I'm just delighted. I'm always delighted to be in your presence.
But I've learned so much from you on camera but off.
The way you move, the way you treat people, the
way you have envisioned your life. And you have been
(04:48):
steadfast and not just choosing the journey that you want,
but choosing to do it with joy and with grace,
no matter how hard it is be. And so I mean,
you know, we'll start with green Leaf because that's where
we met.
Speaker 3 (05:05):
You know, that's where we met. Have you guys heard
of it? We're the green.
Speaker 1 (05:10):
Leaf Sister, the green Leaf Sisters, this grace and charity.
What was the moment for you when we were shooting
green Leaf that you said, oh, this could potentially change
some lives.
Speaker 4 (05:27):
I think that was reading the first script.
Speaker 2 (05:33):
It came right off the page.
Speaker 4 (05:36):
And I think we all know and experience in this
world and in the zeitgeisten in our lives. When Oprah
Winfrey sets an intentionality out there, she's going to heal,
She's going to offer here's the how any kind of
journey of healing or self actualization She was the pioneer
(05:57):
of letting us, letting us explore that space right. And
then to have a black woman on network television doing
that right and in our living rooms when we got
home from school every day. Uh, to say, here is
the how we know where we want to go. But
you know, in especially in the time period where when
I was growing up in very homogenous white Nebraska, to
(06:21):
see a black woman on television saying there's more, there's
another way, and this exploring this is not taboo. If
we lay it out on the table, it is actually
going to make us all better. So when I read
this script, I said, uh, black family in the church
(06:43):
in Memphis, that's the Dandridges, you know, prodigal daughter coming home.
I was always the Dandridge who was going to Memphis
every summer. Then all the subject matter about, you know,
the the dynamics and the family they that we have
not talked about in the church, and ways in which
(07:04):
we have not accepted people in the middle of their truth.
Here it is laid out on paper to be elucidated
on the screen. Oprah was going to be in the
show and we were going to talk about it. And
the good thing about a narrative is that it's automatic
(07:26):
empathy because you spend time with these people, you get
to know them, You get to know them in the
middle of.
Speaker 2 (07:33):
Why they might behave the way that they do.
Speaker 4 (07:36):
And I think as soon as we start to be
more empathetic to where people are at in their in
their journey, you can see, you can see when they're
walking through pain, you can see when they're they have
been told no. When the script came, I was like, Ah,
I was a little scared because I wanted to.
Speaker 2 (07:54):
Do it justice.
Speaker 4 (07:56):
And I knew that in the same way that Oprah
was in our live rooms every day, this was going
to be in homes and start conversation. Yeah and lo
and behold if it has not done that, I mean,
and that is what we hope our work.
Speaker 2 (08:15):
Will do right, every piece anything that we do.
Speaker 4 (08:18):
One of the great things about being an artist and
why art must always be nurtured and always be brought
to the forefront, is because when we are in difficult times,
or knows we're in difficult times now, the artists are
going to be our dreamers. They're going to lead us,
They're always going to show us what is possible. They're
also going to shine a mirror on our social condition.
(08:39):
They're also going to shine a mirror into our broken hearts,
and we will be.
Speaker 2 (08:44):
The dreamers that show them away up.
Speaker 4 (08:45):
Or the courage to step forward, you know, even if
it's just one small increment. And that is I think
why the show has resonated. I'm interested to hear your
point of view on that. Well.
Speaker 3 (08:58):
I think that it's I think it's what you say.
Speaker 2 (09:00):
I think it's all of what you say.
Speaker 1 (09:01):
But I also I think it's it's the humanity of it.
It's the showing people and and not judgment. I think
a lot of times, particularly growing up in the faith
in church, we have gotten so used to this is right,
this is wrong.
Speaker 3 (09:18):
It's black and.
Speaker 4 (09:19):
White, black and white absolutely, and to ourselves too, absolutely,
and it takes a long time to break that once
you realize.
Speaker 3 (09:27):
And so I think it shined.
Speaker 1 (09:28):
A light on all of that black and white, this
is wrong, this is right, And it allowed you to
see people. It allowed you to see a family that
was broken but full of love, full of trying to
figure it out, full of trying to be their best selves,
and and and not surely knowing what that was. I
(09:49):
think charity was lost for so long, and so that's
why people got so mad at me when they saw me.
Speaker 2 (09:56):
But I got her.
Speaker 3 (09:58):
I understood what she was Massy. She was a little
massive yeah yeah, but she loved the Lord. She loves,
She love a Lord.
Speaker 4 (10:09):
But she was doing her best with what she has
and and feeling like you're soul alone in such a
big family, and feeling like you're.
Speaker 1 (10:18):
Looking to be seen, and then that oldest sister come
back and it's like, but wait, I'm still here, Wait,
I'm still wait. I'm just looking for validation. And when
I think this shined a light on knowing who you are.
It's not based on anybody else.
Speaker 2 (10:38):
Yeah, be good with who you are.
Speaker 1 (10:40):
And I think she finally got to that place by
the end. She didn't need Phil, she didn't need she
didn't need anybody else because she started to love herself.
But it just it shined a light on so many
things that I think in the church we've sort of
put a rug over yeah, just act like it didn't exist,
(11:00):
and we just.
Speaker 2 (11:00):
Judged a lot instead of loving.
Speaker 3 (11:03):
Instead of being the.
Speaker 2 (11:06):
Arms and feet of God with people.
Speaker 1 (11:09):
And so I think it showed that which was lovely
and I think that Oprah, she said that the love
is in the details, and I think that her intention
was to show where we can be better, not to
aim for this is so bad. It's how do we
see people in their brokenness? How do we help them?
How do we become better human beings in this life?
Speaker 4 (11:31):
I think that all of branch what you were talking about.
I think charity is such a perfect example of you know,
you spoke about loving yourself and what the consequences can
be sometimes, you know, or the fallout when you don't,
but having somebody just say you're good, Yeah, you're good,
(11:52):
and also here are some ways that you are good,
and in that I feel like we, I don't know,
offer tools because I think some of the most loving
things that people in my life have done have said here,
here are some ways through that trauma, or here, here
is a book that might help, or here is you
(12:13):
know this, this therapist might help with that piece, or
just so you can get to the bottom of it,
get to the bottom of it so that you can
release yourself into choosing joy, you know, being the most
joyful full version and settled in your own self.
Speaker 2 (12:32):
To see so much in that family, I don't.
Speaker 4 (12:35):
Know if resolved is the word, but at least moved
forward quite a bit. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, everyone
embracing each other at the end.
Speaker 2 (12:45):
And yeah, and I think forgiveness. I think forgiven is key.
Speaker 1 (12:51):
It's key, and even I mean, I think that's girl,
that's the key in life. Yeah, I feel like, well,
let me ask you, this is a moment in life
where you have found it very, very difficult to forgive
and move forward.
Speaker 2 (13:11):
Those were very big, I think life changing moments.
Speaker 4 (13:17):
The one that's coming to mind, and I don't mind
sharing this because it's so such a big part of
who I am and what I have been through in
the past few years is stumbling upon my mother's whole
family in Korea that I didn't know about, and that
(13:37):
she was ashamed to have a I have a child
of color, you know, because they've been historically so homogeneous
and so war And to stumble across that and still,
you know, in that moment, have her write a new
narrative in that moment that didn't exist was very painful
(13:59):
because I had been cut off. But what I chose
instead was to take the circumstances that I had and
lead it to my opening up I have all of
this huge family in Korea that I didn't know about,
and now that they know me, they love me, and
it has been an opener to being able to embrace
(14:21):
that part of my culture that has not been accessible
to me before.
Speaker 2 (14:25):
So it's like being divorced a part of yourself.
Speaker 4 (14:27):
You know, like there have been a there was a
damn that had been cut off all of this part
of me. And fortunately I got to meet a lot
of like her sister before she passed away last week,
but I got to have a relationship with her and cousin.
Speaker 2 (14:43):
My cousins are now my brothers over there.
Speaker 4 (14:47):
And you know, at my big age getting my black
belt in taekwondo, which is a rite of passage for
kids in Korea, I'm like, no, I'm going to do
that because I missed out on that, learning the language
and embracing that part of it, and also spending more
time in Memphis, you know, now that my dad has
moved back home places where maybe I might have felt too,
(15:10):
like for the cookout before, I'm like, no, this is
where I belong.
Speaker 2 (15:13):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (15:13):
I think our culture is evolving and the diaspora is
shifting and there's more acceptance of mixed race people in
all cultures that it is coinciding, and that's only God
with my preparation to be able to accept that.
Speaker 1 (15:31):
I imagine that wasn't accepted in the moment.
Speaker 2 (15:34):
I imagine it was okay.
Speaker 1 (15:36):
So what is the thing daily that has allowed you
to really open up and and genuinely and happily accepted
you know what I mean? Because a lot of times
I feel like I have forced myself into a okay,
they said sorry, so it's fine, it's fine, everything's fine,
(15:58):
and I'm not really fine, and then I find out,
like two months later, I'm so angry.
Speaker 3 (16:05):
Why am I so angry?
Speaker 1 (16:06):
Then I try to keep saying no, no, no, you gotta
let it go, you gotta forgive. What is the thing
that allows you to continuously do that every day and
see the joy rather than the hurt, which is acceptable?
Speaker 4 (16:19):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (16:19):
Yeah, absolutely.
Speaker 4 (16:21):
I'll tell you some tools that I learned from a
good friend of mine during the pandemic, and he gave
me like basically, these are these are some touch points
of some difficult conversations that you have to have and
you have to do it with love.
Speaker 2 (16:35):
You can't do it from it. Why why this? Why
that no, no, no.
Speaker 4 (16:39):
It's more of a point of view of understanding, and
that's an understanding from the grace of God.
Speaker 2 (16:44):
The grace of God.
Speaker 4 (16:45):
I will say that I always have a very very
strong underlying current of God pointing me. He is very loud,
and he's very convicting, and he will tell me when
I'm wrong, and he will tell me when I need
to go this direction, and he will also a very
(17:06):
loving guide. But this particular thing was having conversations with
people and getting to know them, you know, Like I
decided that I was going to try to get to
know my parents in a different way, asking them, when
was the first time you fell in love? What was
the favorite place you've ever been, What was the scariest
assignment that you've ever had?
Speaker 2 (17:26):
What did you really want to do with your life?
Speaker 4 (17:28):
If all the things you know and get them to
the place of understanding the dreamer within them?
Speaker 2 (17:33):
Yeah, and where was your first heartbreak? Where was you know?
When did you know?
Speaker 4 (17:38):
Those kinds of questions where I got to the heart
of who they are rather than my relationship to them.
And by doing that one I learned so much about
my family.
Speaker 2 (17:50):
Yeah, I learned so much.
Speaker 4 (17:52):
About my parents, and I got to see, well, I learned.
I learned a lot. I didn't realize that my dad
was was running after bombs that accidentally got.
Speaker 2 (18:07):
Released in Vietnam.
Speaker 3 (18:09):
I didn't.
Speaker 4 (18:10):
I didn't realize that he's explosive ordinance disposal for the
Air Force. If you've ever seen hurt Locker, that's what
he did for. But I didn't realize he was doing
that in war time.
Speaker 3 (18:18):
Wow.
Speaker 4 (18:19):
And I didn't realize how who exactly? And so now
I understand why he's so strict. Yeah, you have to
be you know, you have to like there are there
are no coloring, there's no coloring outside of the lines.
You have to be like this and I and so
I recognized that in myself. Where do you not color
outside of the lines? Where are you too rigid in
(18:42):
your thinking, in your forgiveness, in your way you think
things should be. I inherited that from a very real
circumstance from him. But to get to that understanding, to
give myself grace, I had to give it to the
source first.
Speaker 2 (18:57):
Yeah, you know, so, I guess that's one Ooh, that's good.
And I did that to a.
Speaker 4 (19:02):
Lot of people in family I called my aunties, I
called my sister, you know, I called everybody.
Speaker 2 (19:06):
I was like, let's get into it.
Speaker 4 (19:08):
Yeah, let me get to know you outside of whatever
might be going on between us.
Speaker 1 (19:13):
We well, that is so beautiful. You gotta give grace
to the source first. That is really, really, really good.
I think a lot of times we get caught up
in things and although what they maybe did to us
or toward us was not the best, it's recognizing as
much as we need grace, we gotta give it. Maybe
(19:33):
they just didn't know, Maybe they didn't understand. Maybe they're
so caught up in this that they don't see this.
It's not out of I've learned that I have to.
Speaker 3 (19:43):
Understand.
Speaker 1 (19:43):
It's not always out of some malicious intent.
Speaker 2 (19:46):
That's right, you know, rarely is it? Rarely?
Speaker 3 (19:49):
Rarely is it?
Speaker 1 (19:51):
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(20:36):
That's O L L Y dot com. Ooh, I mean
you have all the gems. I don't know what I
thought I was gonna get into. You have like it's
but you know what, this makes sense because you you,
as I've said earlier, you have been walking in such
such a strength every time I see them just like
(20:56):
you're just you're just you're lit up.
Speaker 3 (20:58):
You just you are.
Speaker 1 (21:00):
It's like your joy is kind of overflowing.
Speaker 2 (21:04):
You know what I mean. And then I could and
then I could cut free.
Speaker 3 (21:07):
Yeah it's not okay.
Speaker 1 (21:13):
Well, so when you have a good time because you're
doing all the things. Green Leave was where I met
you ten years ago, which is insane.
Speaker 3 (21:20):
Two years ago, that's insane.
Speaker 2 (21:23):
We're talking to day you know, years ago, David.
Speaker 1 (21:26):
And to be able to first of all still have
this as family is like, y'all are my family. For sure,
you've you've watched We have a Kid. You you are
my kids auntie. But people need to know your Broadway roots.
Speaker 3 (21:41):
They need to understand.
Speaker 1 (21:43):
First of all, when I found out that you were
the voice on a video.
Speaker 3 (21:46):
Game, I was what does she not do?
Speaker 4 (21:50):
And do?
Speaker 2 (21:51):
Well?
Speaker 1 (21:53):
So your what is I guess talk about the difference,
not the difference, but how you move with your your
video game, Broadway TV and then major film, Major, I
mean the last of us is like, yeah, these all
(22:15):
these different characters, what is the thing that keeps you
balanced and rooted in who you are? As you are
flying around literally the entire world doing all of these
different things and lighting up the stage because baby.
Speaker 3 (22:28):
You lit it up. Oh lit it up, haitiestown.
Speaker 2 (22:33):
Thank you for coming to my program.
Speaker 3 (22:35):
Of course that was some fun.
Speaker 2 (22:37):
That was a turn up. That last show was turn all.
Speaker 3 (22:40):
The way up. They're so different, you're so versatile.
Speaker 1 (22:43):
And then I saw you pop up on Sons of
Anarchy and.
Speaker 3 (22:47):
You know I was watching.
Speaker 1 (22:47):
You didn't tell me he was gonna pop up, and
I was mad at you.
Speaker 4 (22:50):
Wow. Well, first of all, first of all, I don't
want to be like, oh that's my program, that's shut up.
Speaker 3 (22:58):
I was your sister at this point, I know.
Speaker 4 (23:00):
But also I wanted you to experience it and not
like so when are you gonna come?
Speaker 2 (23:04):
When are you gonna be in this? You know, I
wanted you to experience it because that's a good show.
Speaker 3 (23:07):
It's a great show.
Speaker 1 (23:08):
I started it and I didn't know you were in it,
but I was, y'all. I was like popping off on
this online talking about how great Sons of Anarchy is
And she knew this because we were still filming Greenley
and she didn't want to say nothing.
Speaker 3 (23:19):
And then she popped up on the screen.
Speaker 2 (23:21):
I said, you ain't want to tell me It was
like three in the morning.
Speaker 1 (23:24):
Yeah, shook, because I watched all seven seasons in like
three days.
Speaker 2 (23:31):
It was the same.
Speaker 4 (23:32):
But gosh, and that was a circumstance. Everything kind of
feeds into each other because the person who cast me
cast me was Paris Barklay, who was a executive producer
on that show. And he's a two time DGA president,
a black man, gay man, like extraordinary prolific storyteller.
Speaker 2 (23:54):
Yeah, and I uh just.
Speaker 4 (23:56):
Got the opportunity to you know, be a directing people
with him, and come to find out, I didn't know
I had known him all this time, that he is
a composer and had worked with Stephen Sondheim, and I
was doing this the Sondheim Show at Pasadena Playhouse while
(24:17):
I was shadowing him, and so he had deep insight
into this character. And I was like, wait a second,
I don't know you, but from television. He's like, yeah,
if I could retire from television and do composing, He's like,
he's like, it's my first love.
Speaker 2 (24:34):
And I never knew this.
Speaker 4 (24:35):
About him, but it makes sense because I kind of
caught his vibe all that, to say, one passion feeds
the other passion and they all kind of tell on
it or feed each other and nourish each other. And
what I mean by that is I think about this
recent return to Broadway in Hadestown, and I knew that
(24:58):
I needed it for so many reasons.
Speaker 2 (25:00):
Because the stage is my first love.
Speaker 4 (25:03):
Ye singing came after that, which is really strange, but
it was more like a means to an end. I
found my career because I was a really good mimic
and I could find my way into any character on stage,
and that made a career until I found my own
artistry later. But what I did find was a place
(25:25):
because you know, like I said, growing up in Nebraska,
the way that I grew up, I was taught to
be small and quiet and to hide and to not
take up space. And what the Broadway community says is
we are here, we're loud, and.
Speaker 2 (25:42):
We love big.
Speaker 4 (25:44):
So I was actually just thinking about this because my
friend Alex, who's been in my eighties town for three years,
he actually said to me, goes Merle, you are actually screaming,
because when I would walk in the building, you wouldn't
you would hear me.
Speaker 3 (26:01):
I'd be like I'm.
Speaker 4 (26:03):
And it's like the fullest expression of myself that in
other places I forget to be.
Speaker 2 (26:11):
I forget that it's okay for me to take up space.
It's okay for me to be fully and you know.
Speaker 4 (26:18):
As goofy and dorky as I want to be, because
you know I am, and that that is okay. And
this is a community that reminds me my fullness is perfect.
And that was a place that really taught me that.
Speaker 1 (26:34):
That's, oh, my fullness is perfect. That's that's I mean.
I want to play a game and work, and we're
about to play a game. I'm just like a two
three question game. But my fullness is perfect.
Speaker 4 (26:50):
As it is, beautiful as it is, and that that
realization has been shackles, just the shackles off my feet.
Speaker 3 (27:01):
No, I have done this because you just want to
praise him.
Speaker 1 (27:06):
I just want to praise him well as you praise him.
Speaker 3 (27:10):
Can I have the of the talk board just it's
just gonna be like two.
Speaker 4 (27:14):
Three questions, yes, yes, let's see.
Speaker 1 (27:21):
I just want to make sure we say a little
bit of something about Harvest Home.
Speaker 2 (27:27):
Oh yeah, that's.
Speaker 3 (27:28):
Been really you.
Speaker 1 (27:30):
When when did you become dedicated to that? Because you've
been there.
Speaker 2 (27:33):
For so long.
Speaker 4 (27:34):
I have so uh and thank you for asking about
it because I know you know your your journey of
celebrating mothers and motherhood.
Speaker 2 (27:43):
You know it was it was a big deal for you.
Speaker 4 (27:48):
And a lot happened in your life when you were
becoming a mother and if you can imagine that most
vulnerable time, and you are even more vulnerable in our
in our culture being with so basically, Harvest Home Harvestomela
dot org is we give housing and holistic care to
unhouse pregnant women and their babies and we get them
(28:11):
on the right foot. Right. So I started maybe almost
fifteen years ago hosting their gallus and I was.
Speaker 2 (28:17):
Like, wait, wait, pump the brakes, pump the bricks. I
love this message.
Speaker 4 (28:21):
Yeah, and a good friend of mine, Sarah Wilson, was
executive directing. She's still the executive director. And then I
was like, you know what I want to do more?
So I started to ask about ways I could volunteer.
I did Thanksgiving deliveries, food deliveries to the alumni of Seeing,
you know, making sure they and their kids had everything
that they needed in abundance for Thanksgiving. Then I would
(28:43):
adopt a family around Christmas time and then I was like,
you know, I want more. So I would go into
the house and whenever you volunteer the house, we do
ask for background checks and stuff like that. But I
started to mentor one on one and I got to
know these women more intimate and their journey. And I
had one mentee who was just so inspirational to me,
(29:09):
and I was there the day her baby was born.
I got to see her celebrate his first birthday. And unfortunately,
last year we lost her to domestic violence. And when
that happened, it put me into overdrive because during the
pandemic We've only had the one house in Venice for
thirty years that housed nine women and while they were
(29:32):
in pregnancy, and six months after then out of nowhere,
the Archdiocese of La gifted us a convent, so there's
eighteen more rooms. It tripled our capacity, tripled our overhead.
So during the pandemic we completely converted it, renovated it
and opened it. So that coupled with the circumstances of
(29:56):
my mentee, and also knowing that right now our staff,
you know, our resources can't compete with say the county,
that we need to bring more resources in so we
can keep the best care, the best infrastructure and possibly
even open maybe an apartment building for them after they
(30:18):
leave the house. We're dreaming big here, but that these
women have everything they need, caseworkers, therapy, even breastfeeding classes, everything,
you know what I'm saying. And it has been so
rewarding to be involved with that because I see how
they are practically loving people.
Speaker 2 (30:40):
Where they are, in who they are as they are, and.
Speaker 4 (30:46):
It's such a blessing. So Harvest get involved.
Speaker 1 (30:49):
That is beautiful, and we are we're getting involved because
that's amazing and I know it's something very near and
dear to your heart. And it's something that I've known
about since I've met you, and it's just been a
beautiful thing to see how you how you've helped it grow,
and how it I'm sure has affected you. Yes, you know,
absolutely in wonderful ways. Okay, this is gonna be this
(31:09):
or that. She's a couple of questionings, just a couple
of questions, and I'm actually interested, you know what, I'm
actually interested in what you would say.
Speaker 3 (31:21):
You know, I told you before Charity always wins.
Speaker 2 (31:27):
Can I say something about that?
Speaker 4 (31:29):
Because there was she gave a rap gift to everybody,
a T shirt and it was a very nice T
shirt that I still wear, but written on this.
Speaker 2 (31:39):
Shirt says Charity always wins.
Speaker 4 (31:42):
So we all are like the ambassador something is what it.
Speaker 3 (31:46):
Is, Charity always wins.
Speaker 2 (31:48):
It was like it was the last day I got.
I was like she got like a fly.
Speaker 1 (31:56):
Were like, oh I got you and it's cute and
I'm gonna be wearing them all the time.
Speaker 3 (32:01):
Yeah, hilarious. Okay, musical or straight play?
Speaker 1 (32:05):
Oh oh that's hard.
Speaker 4 (32:08):
I'm gonna say straight play really yeah.
Speaker 1 (32:11):
Okay, Okay, I write it down, Okay, Yeah, yea, yeah, yeah, okay, okay,
you're gonna do that. Okay, But so that's fine. Okay,
so we write that down. But now, okay, what what
brings you your joy? Quiet moments alone or a fun
night out? And I'm not tell you are I mean,
we can do whatever we want, quiet moments alone?
Speaker 2 (32:28):
Break it up. I'm a r Why are you giving
me bedroomise?
Speaker 3 (32:35):
I was like, tern you know what, girl?
Speaker 1 (32:41):
You are so dumb bragging me up? Well, okay, what
brings you more joy? Quiet moments alone or a fun
night out?
Speaker 3 (32:50):
You know what we should do? You know what? You
guess mine, I'm gonna guess yours.
Speaker 2 (32:54):
Oh okay, And.
Speaker 1 (32:57):
Honestly, this is what I'm gonna give you. And that's fine,
and we're gonna do that.
Speaker 3 (33:02):
And the last one is who was worse?
Speaker 1 (33:08):
Phil de Mars or pastor basy Skaks. I'm gonna answer
that for you. Oh wait, so who I'm asked answering
answer for me? But oh oh.
Speaker 2 (33:25):
Okay, okay, fear for you.
Speaker 1 (33:27):
Okay, that's a cute question. Okay, So musical or play?
You said play, which is interesting. I really thought you
would have said musical.
Speaker 2 (33:38):
Uh huh uh huh.
Speaker 1 (33:38):
I wouldn't because your voice, I mean that's what you're.
You're Disney like you are the You're the girl.
Speaker 4 (33:44):
But I started my career on Kitchen sing theater in Chicago,
doing stuff like Kentucky Cycle with like Nick Offerman, and
like I started a theater company where we would do
uh these environmental we would like take over a storefront
and we would like turn it into Nazi Germany, you know,
and I like stay up all night making curtains. Like
that's the kind of okay that like the Stepping Wolf
(34:05):
feel like.
Speaker 2 (34:06):
Back in the day.
Speaker 3 (34:07):
The music music for sure came later for you.
Speaker 2 (34:09):
It did come later. I love it, though.
Speaker 3 (34:11):
I definitely put a straight play for me.
Speaker 1 (34:13):
But that's yeah, yeah, okay, okay, okay, Well for you,
I put what brings more joy, quiet moments alone, more
a fun night out. Here's the thing, I know what
a fun night out does for you. So I'm just
gonna say a fun night out. I know you like
to be at home in a bay by six and
moisturizing later.
Speaker 3 (34:31):
But when you do, when you go out, you go out.
Speaker 2 (34:33):
You're right right, you know what. That's a loving answer.
That's that's like, I know, I know what you like,
I know what's good for you, and you did get
me out of a house. Yeah yeah, okay, I just
put fun night out for you.
Speaker 3 (34:45):
Oh yeah, you're like, yeah for sure.
Speaker 2 (34:48):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (34:49):
The last one I put Who's worst Phildmars are pass
the basis I put I put Phil to Mars for
you because Phil was trying to take everything. He was
trying to take the church and give it to the
Caucasian people.
Speaker 4 (35:02):
Yeah yeah, yeah, uh huh, that is accurate. And I'm
gonna tell you in a second, I put Basie for you.
Speaker 2 (35:09):
Mmm. No, No, Phil.
Speaker 3 (35:13):
Broke Charity's heart.
Speaker 5 (35:14):
Oh really felt used to her, but it was based
in love. Like you liked him, you did, Charity, Charity
really liked him, so I see what you mean though,
Yeah she did, and she she went behind your back
and gave him some stuff to use that was gonna
(35:35):
break up the church.
Speaker 3 (35:37):
And then he turned him.
Speaker 2 (35:38):
Oh what's that, Charney, What else did you do?
Speaker 1 (35:46):
Racking up?
Speaker 3 (35:46):
Oh my god?
Speaker 1 (35:47):
Merle Andrea Dandre the way the way I love you,
I love you the way I love you.
Speaker 3 (35:55):
Thank you for.
Speaker 1 (35:56):
Your heart like you it's you can't be somebody with
just a good heart.
Speaker 3 (36:01):
Doesn't matter what you go through in life.
Speaker 1 (36:02):
Every relationship has ups and downs, but your heart is
so pure and so good, and I know that I'm
the better for it, and I know that everybody else.
Speaker 3 (36:10):
Listening is going to be the better for it. So
thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. My sister
choosing Joy with me.
Speaker 2 (36:24):
I love you, I love you.
Speaker 1 (36:26):
Hi, It's dever Joy Winings. Williams here. Thank you so
much for watching Choosing Joy. This episode was with the
one and only Merle Dandridge, and man, she dropped some gems.
So if you liked it, please click that like button,
subscribe and listen for more because we got some more
things coming.
Speaker 2 (36:43):
And remember, Choose Joy.
I think charity was lost for so long, and so
that's why people God so mad at me when they
saw me.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
But I got her.
Speaker 3 (00:09):
I understood what she was. Massy.
Speaker 1 (00:10):
She was a little massy, yeah yeah, but she loved
the Lord.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
Hello.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
I am Deborah Joy Winen's Williams and this is choosing Joy.
Speaker 3 (00:23):
Thank you for being with us.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
And today I am so so very excited because ooh,
where do I begin?
Speaker 3 (00:33):
This woman has changed my life.
Speaker 1 (00:36):
You get to work with a lot of people in life,
do a lot of things. Very seldom do they become
a part of your fabric, a part of your journey
the rest of your journey in life. And I am
so blessed to have met a woman that has shown
me professionalism, sisterhood, what it looks like to have faith
(01:05):
in the most difficult situations.
Speaker 3 (01:09):
Incredible talent.
Speaker 1 (01:11):
Just the depth of talent is I think still yet
to be known. And a beauty and a grace that
she walks through so much of life with.
Speaker 2 (01:21):
That is very hard to do, y'all.
Speaker 1 (01:23):
She is on the upcoming season of Citadel. She has
worked with the Russo Brothers. She is Broadway. She is Broadway, honestly, y'all.
She is Broadway. She is everything that an actor can
dream to be. If you think it, she's done it.
And it's exciting that I get to work with her
(01:43):
and I don't just get to call her a cast
mate or just a friend. She is my sister in
real life. Please welcome Merle Dandridge.
Speaker 4 (01:53):
Sure, Deeparahtoy, you said, choosing joy, I am temporatoy.
Speaker 2 (02:00):
Why's Williams?
Speaker 4 (02:02):
And I got the water works going because seeing you,
first of all, just seeing you in your element like this,
being able to spend time with you like this and
here we are ten years you know, down and they
said roll and I and I looked at you and
just started crying. I didn't expect to be this emotional,
(02:23):
because you know, we talk, we talk about these kind
of deep things, and we've been through a lot of
stuff together. But watching you sit in the middle of
your power and your purpose is is always a thrill
for me because I know from whence it comes, you know,
I know where to where you, where you've been through
(02:44):
and the journey of I think stepping into everything that
God has called you to is not always an easy
one because there's pitfalls, there's there's uh naysayers, sometimes it's
just the voice in the back of your head, always
gorgeous inside and out, but just fully unleashing yourself. As
(03:07):
soon as they saw they hit role, I was like,
there it is. That's the thing that we have been
talking about for a decade a decade, and that has
always been there, and you have and we have all
seen it. We have all seen it play out, even
when you doubt it. It's ministering to me. And also
(03:28):
it's just making me so happy. It makes me so
happy when someone you love is has walked through that
squeeze of whatever, whatever noise or whatever whatever tape has
been playing in the back and says yes.
Speaker 2 (03:46):
To God's destiny.
Speaker 4 (03:47):
Anyway, Yeah right, and that's I think that's what I'm
crying about, just because I remember those days in the studio,
you know, when we were just starting Green Leaf. I
remember those first days when we were sitting around the
dinner table figuring out are we really doing this? And
we were all like, oh.
Speaker 2 (04:07):
And then and then here we are. I didn't expect
that to make me so emotional. Okay, there you go
go on.
Speaker 4 (04:15):
Okay, that's podcast now, I'm ready to podcast.
Speaker 3 (04:23):
This is why I love you.
Speaker 1 (04:26):
It's merle it is just it is really, I'm just delighted.
I'm just delighted. I'm always delighted to be in your presence.
But I've learned so much from you on camera but off.
The way you move, the way you treat people, the
way you have envisioned your life. And you have been
(04:48):
steadfast and not just choosing the journey that you want,
but choosing to do it with joy and with grace,
no matter how hard it is be. And so I mean,
you know, we'll start with green Leaf because that's where
we met.
Speaker 3 (05:05):
You know, that's where we met. Have you guys heard
of it? We're the green.
Speaker 1 (05:10):
Leaf Sister, the green Leaf Sisters, this grace and charity.
What was the moment for you when we were shooting
green Leaf that you said, oh, this could potentially change
some lives.
Speaker 4 (05:27):
I think that was reading the first script.
Speaker 2 (05:33):
It came right off the page.
Speaker 4 (05:36):
And I think we all know and experience in this
world and in the zeitgeisten in our lives. When Oprah
Winfrey sets an intentionality out there, she's going to heal,
She's going to offer here's the how any kind of
journey of healing or self actualization She was the pioneer
(05:57):
of letting us, letting us explore that space right. And
then to have a black woman on network television doing
that right and in our living rooms when we got
home from school every day. Uh, to say, here is
the how we know where we want to go. But
you know, in especially in the time period where when
I was growing up in very homogenous white Nebraska, to
(06:21):
see a black woman on television saying there's more, there's
another way, and this exploring this is not taboo. If
we lay it out on the table, it is actually
going to make us all better. So when I read
this script, I said, uh, black family in the church
(06:43):
in Memphis, that's the Dandridges, you know, prodigal daughter coming home.
I was always the Dandridge who was going to Memphis
every summer. Then all the subject matter about, you know,
the the dynamics and the family they that we have
not talked about in the church, and ways in which
(07:04):
we have not accepted people in the middle of their truth.
Here it is laid out on paper to be elucidated
on the screen. Oprah was going to be in the
show and we were going to talk about it. And
the good thing about a narrative is that it's automatic
(07:26):
empathy because you spend time with these people, you get
to know them, You get to know them in the
middle of.
Speaker 2 (07:33):
Why they might behave the way that they do.
Speaker 4 (07:36):
And I think as soon as we start to be
more empathetic to where people are at in their in
their journey, you can see, you can see when they're
walking through pain, you can see when they're they have
been told no. When the script came, I was like, Ah,
I was a little scared because I wanted to.
Speaker 2 (07:54):
Do it justice.
Speaker 4 (07:56):
And I knew that in the same way that Oprah
was in our live rooms every day, this was going
to be in homes and start conversation. Yeah and lo
and behold if it has not done that, I mean,
and that is what we hope our work.
Speaker 2 (08:15):
Will do right, every piece anything that we do.
Speaker 4 (08:18):
One of the great things about being an artist and
why art must always be nurtured and always be brought
to the forefront, is because when we are in difficult times,
or knows we're in difficult times now, the artists are
going to be our dreamers. They're going to lead us,
They're always going to show us what is possible. They're
also going to shine a mirror on our social condition.
(08:39):
They're also going to shine a mirror into our broken hearts,
and we will be.
Speaker 2 (08:44):
The dreamers that show them away up.
Speaker 4 (08:45):
Or the courage to step forward, you know, even if
it's just one small increment. And that is I think
why the show has resonated. I'm interested to hear your
point of view on that. Well.
Speaker 3 (08:58):
I think that it's I think it's what you say.
Speaker 2 (09:00):
I think it's all of what you say.
Speaker 1 (09:01):
But I also I think it's it's the humanity of it.
It's the showing people and and not judgment. I think
a lot of times, particularly growing up in the faith
in church, we have gotten so used to this is right,
this is wrong.
Speaker 3 (09:18):
It's black and.
Speaker 4 (09:19):
White, black and white absolutely, and to ourselves too, absolutely,
and it takes a long time to break that once
you realize.
Speaker 3 (09:27):
And so I think it shined.
Speaker 1 (09:28):
A light on all of that black and white, this
is wrong, this is right, And it allowed you to
see people. It allowed you to see a family that
was broken but full of love, full of trying to
figure it out, full of trying to be their best selves,
and and and not surely knowing what that was. I
(09:49):
think charity was lost for so long, and so that's
why people got so mad at me when they saw me.
Speaker 2 (09:56):
But I got her.
Speaker 3 (09:58):
I understood what she was Massy. She was a little
massive yeah yeah, but she loved the Lord. She loves,
She love a Lord.
Speaker 4 (10:09):
But she was doing her best with what she has
and and feeling like you're soul alone in such a
big family, and feeling like you're.
Speaker 1 (10:18):
Looking to be seen, and then that oldest sister come
back and it's like, but wait, I'm still here, Wait,
I'm still wait. I'm just looking for validation. And when
I think this shined a light on knowing who you are.
It's not based on anybody else.
Speaker 2 (10:38):
Yeah, be good with who you are.
Speaker 1 (10:40):
And I think she finally got to that place by
the end. She didn't need Phil, she didn't need she
didn't need anybody else because she started to love herself.
But it just it shined a light on so many
things that I think in the church we've sort of
put a rug over yeah, just act like it didn't exist,
(11:00):
and we just.
Speaker 2 (11:00):
Judged a lot instead of loving.
Speaker 3 (11:03):
Instead of being the.
Speaker 2 (11:06):
Arms and feet of God with people.
Speaker 1 (11:09):
And so I think it showed that which was lovely
and I think that Oprah, she said that the love
is in the details, and I think that her intention
was to show where we can be better, not to
aim for this is so bad. It's how do we
see people in their brokenness? How do we help them?
How do we become better human beings in this life?
Speaker 4 (11:31):
I think that all of branch what you were talking about.
I think charity is such a perfect example of you know,
you spoke about loving yourself and what the consequences can
be sometimes, you know, or the fallout when you don't,
but having somebody just say you're good, Yeah, you're good,
(11:52):
and also here are some ways that you are good,
and in that I feel like we, I don't know,
offer tools because I think some of the most loving
things that people in my life have done have said here,
here are some ways through that trauma, or here, here
is a book that might help, or here is you
(12:13):
know this, this therapist might help with that piece, or
just so you can get to the bottom of it,
get to the bottom of it so that you can
release yourself into choosing joy, you know, being the most
joyful full version and settled in your own self.
Speaker 2 (12:32):
To see so much in that family, I don't.
Speaker 4 (12:35):
Know if resolved is the word, but at least moved
forward quite a bit. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, everyone
embracing each other at the end.
Speaker 2 (12:45):
And yeah, and I think forgiveness. I think forgiven is key.
Speaker 1 (12:51):
It's key, and even I mean, I think that's girl,
that's the key in life. Yeah, I feel like, well,
let me ask you, this is a moment in life
where you have found it very, very difficult to forgive
and move forward.
Speaker 2 (13:11):
Those were very big, I think life changing moments.
Speaker 4 (13:17):
The one that's coming to mind, and I don't mind
sharing this because it's so such a big part of
who I am and what I have been through in
the past few years is stumbling upon my mother's whole
family in Korea that I didn't know about, and that
(13:37):
she was ashamed to have a I have a child
of color, you know, because they've been historically so homogeneous
and so war And to stumble across that and still,
you know, in that moment, have her write a new
narrative in that moment that didn't exist was very painful
(13:59):
because I had been cut off. But what I chose
instead was to take the circumstances that I had and
lead it to my opening up I have all of
this huge family in Korea that I didn't know about,
and now that they know me, they love me, and
it has been an opener to being able to embrace
(14:21):
that part of my culture that has not been accessible
to me before.
Speaker 2 (14:25):
So it's like being divorced a part of yourself.
Speaker 4 (14:27):
You know, like there have been a there was a
damn that had been cut off all of this part
of me. And fortunately I got to meet a lot
of like her sister before she passed away last week,
but I got to have a relationship with her and cousin.
Speaker 2 (14:43):
My cousins are now my brothers over there.
Speaker 4 (14:47):
And you know, at my big age getting my black
belt in taekwondo, which is a rite of passage for
kids in Korea, I'm like, no, I'm going to do
that because I missed out on that, learning the language
and embracing that part of it, and also spending more
time in Memphis, you know, now that my dad has
moved back home places where maybe I might have felt too,
(15:10):
like for the cookout before, I'm like, no, this is
where I belong.
Speaker 2 (15:13):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (15:13):
I think our culture is evolving and the diaspora is
shifting and there's more acceptance of mixed race people in
all cultures that it is coinciding, and that's only God
with my preparation to be able to accept that.
Speaker 1 (15:31):
I imagine that wasn't accepted in the moment.
Speaker 2 (15:34):
I imagine it was okay.
Speaker 1 (15:36):
So what is the thing daily that has allowed you
to really open up and and genuinely and happily accepted
you know what I mean? Because a lot of times
I feel like I have forced myself into a okay,
they said sorry, so it's fine, it's fine, everything's fine,
(15:58):
and I'm not really fine, and then I find out,
like two months later, I'm so angry.
Speaker 3 (16:05):
Why am I so angry?
Speaker 1 (16:06):
Then I try to keep saying no, no, no, you gotta
let it go, you gotta forgive. What is the thing
that allows you to continuously do that every day and
see the joy rather than the hurt, which is acceptable?
Speaker 4 (16:19):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (16:19):
Yeah, absolutely.
Speaker 4 (16:21):
I'll tell you some tools that I learned from a
good friend of mine during the pandemic, and he gave
me like basically, these are these are some touch points
of some difficult conversations that you have to have and
you have to do it with love.
Speaker 2 (16:35):
You can't do it from it. Why why this? Why
that no, no, no.
Speaker 4 (16:39):
It's more of a point of view of understanding, and
that's an understanding from the grace of God.
Speaker 2 (16:44):
The grace of God.
Speaker 4 (16:45):
I will say that I always have a very very
strong underlying current of God pointing me. He is very loud,
and he's very convicting, and he will tell me when
I'm wrong, and he will tell me when I need
to go this direction, and he will also a very
(17:06):
loving guide. But this particular thing was having conversations with
people and getting to know them, you know, Like I
decided that I was going to try to get to
know my parents in a different way, asking them, when
was the first time you fell in love? What was
the favorite place you've ever been, What was the scariest
assignment that you've ever had?
Speaker 2 (17:26):
What did you really want to do with your life?
Speaker 4 (17:28):
If all the things you know and get them to
the place of understanding the dreamer within them?
Speaker 2 (17:33):
Yeah, and where was your first heartbreak? Where was you know?
When did you know?
Speaker 4 (17:38):
Those kinds of questions where I got to the heart
of who they are rather than my relationship to them.
And by doing that one I learned so much about
my family.
Speaker 2 (17:50):
Yeah, I learned so much.
Speaker 4 (17:52):
About my parents, and I got to see, well, I learned.
I learned a lot. I didn't realize that my dad
was was running after bombs that accidentally got.
Speaker 2 (18:07):
Released in Vietnam.
Speaker 3 (18:09):
I didn't.
Speaker 4 (18:10):
I didn't realize that he's explosive ordinance disposal for the
Air Force. If you've ever seen hurt Locker, that's what
he did for. But I didn't realize he was doing
that in war time.
Speaker 3 (18:18):
Wow.
Speaker 4 (18:19):
And I didn't realize how who exactly? And so now
I understand why he's so strict. Yeah, you have to
be you know, you have to like there are there
are no coloring, there's no coloring outside of the lines.
You have to be like this and I and so
I recognized that in myself. Where do you not color
outside of the lines? Where are you too rigid in
(18:42):
your thinking, in your forgiveness, in your way you think
things should be. I inherited that from a very real
circumstance from him. But to get to that understanding, to
give myself grace, I had to give it to the
source first.
Speaker 2 (18:57):
Yeah, you know, so, I guess that's one Ooh, that's good.
And I did that to a.
Speaker 4 (19:02):
Lot of people in family I called my aunties, I
called my sister, you know, I called everybody.
Speaker 2 (19:06):
I was like, let's get into it.
Speaker 4 (19:08):
Yeah, let me get to know you outside of whatever
might be going on between us.
Speaker 1 (19:13):
We well, that is so beautiful. You gotta give grace
to the source first. That is really, really, really good.
I think a lot of times we get caught up
in things and although what they maybe did to us
or toward us was not the best, it's recognizing as
much as we need grace, we gotta give it. Maybe
(19:33):
they just didn't know, Maybe they didn't understand. Maybe they're
so caught up in this that they don't see this.
It's not out of I've learned that I have to.
Speaker 3 (19:43):
Understand.
Speaker 1 (19:43):
It's not always out of some malicious intent.
Speaker 2 (19:46):
That's right, you know, rarely is it? Rarely?
Speaker 3 (19:49):
Rarely is it?
Speaker 1 (19:51):
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(20:36):
That's O L L Y dot com. Ooh, I mean
you have all the gems. I don't know what I
thought I was gonna get into. You have like it's
but you know what, this makes sense because you you,
as I've said earlier, you have been walking in such
such a strength every time I see them just like
(20:56):
you're just you're just you're lit up.
Speaker 3 (20:58):
You just you are.
Speaker 1 (21:00):
It's like your joy is kind of overflowing.
Speaker 2 (21:04):
You know what I mean. And then I could and
then I could cut free.
Speaker 3 (21:07):
Yeah it's not okay.
Speaker 1 (21:13):
Well, so when you have a good time because you're
doing all the things. Green Leave was where I met
you ten years ago, which is insane.
Speaker 3 (21:20):
Two years ago, that's insane.
Speaker 2 (21:23):
We're talking to day you know, years ago, David.
Speaker 1 (21:26):
And to be able to first of all still have
this as family is like, y'all are my family. For sure,
you've you've watched We have a Kid. You you are
my kids auntie. But people need to know your Broadway roots.
Speaker 3 (21:41):
They need to understand.
Speaker 1 (21:43):
First of all, when I found out that you were
the voice on a video.
Speaker 3 (21:46):
Game, I was what does she not do?
Speaker 4 (21:50):
And do?
Speaker 2 (21:51):
Well?
Speaker 1 (21:53):
So your what is I guess talk about the difference,
not the difference, but how you move with your your
video game, Broadway TV and then major film, Major, I
mean the last of us is like, yeah, these all
(22:15):
these different characters, what is the thing that keeps you
balanced and rooted in who you are? As you are
flying around literally the entire world doing all of these
different things and lighting up the stage because baby.
Speaker 3 (22:28):
You lit it up. Oh lit it up, haitiestown.
Speaker 2 (22:33):
Thank you for coming to my program.
Speaker 3 (22:35):
Of course that was some fun.
Speaker 2 (22:37):
That was a turn up. That last show was turn all.
Speaker 3 (22:40):
The way up. They're so different, you're so versatile.
Speaker 1 (22:43):
And then I saw you pop up on Sons of
Anarchy and.
Speaker 3 (22:47):
You know I was watching.
Speaker 1 (22:47):
You didn't tell me he was gonna pop up, and
I was mad at you.
Speaker 4 (22:50):
Wow. Well, first of all, first of all, I don't
want to be like, oh that's my program, that's shut up.
Speaker 3 (22:58):
I was your sister at this point, I know.
Speaker 4 (23:00):
But also I wanted you to experience it and not
like so when are you gonna come?
Speaker 2 (23:04):
When are you gonna be in this? You know, I
wanted you to experience it because that's a good show.
Speaker 3 (23:07):
It's a great show.
Speaker 1 (23:08):
I started it and I didn't know you were in it,
but I was, y'all. I was like popping off on
this online talking about how great Sons of Anarchy is
And she knew this because we were still filming Greenley
and she didn't want to say nothing.
Speaker 3 (23:19):
And then she popped up on the screen.
Speaker 2 (23:21):
I said, you ain't want to tell me It was
like three in the morning.
Speaker 1 (23:24):
Yeah, shook, because I watched all seven seasons in like
three days.
Speaker 2 (23:31):
It was the same.
Speaker 4 (23:32):
But gosh, and that was a circumstance. Everything kind of
feeds into each other because the person who cast me
cast me was Paris Barklay, who was a executive producer
on that show. And he's a two time DGA president,
a black man, gay man, like extraordinary prolific storyteller.
Speaker 2 (23:54):
Yeah, and I uh just.
Speaker 4 (23:56):
Got the opportunity to you know, be a directing people
with him, and come to find out, I didn't know
I had known him all this time, that he is
a composer and had worked with Stephen Sondheim, and I
was doing this the Sondheim Show at Pasadena Playhouse while
(24:17):
I was shadowing him, and so he had deep insight
into this character. And I was like, wait a second,
I don't know you, but from television. He's like, yeah,
if I could retire from television and do composing, He's like,
he's like, it's my first love.
Speaker 2 (24:34):
And I never knew this.
Speaker 4 (24:35):
About him, but it makes sense because I kind of
caught his vibe all that, to say, one passion feeds
the other passion and they all kind of tell on
it or feed each other and nourish each other. And
what I mean by that is I think about this
recent return to Broadway in Hadestown, and I knew that
(24:58):
I needed it for so many reasons.
Speaker 2 (25:00):
Because the stage is my first love.
Speaker 4 (25:03):
Ye singing came after that, which is really strange, but
it was more like a means to an end. I
found my career because I was a really good mimic
and I could find my way into any character on stage,
and that made a career until I found my own
artistry later. But what I did find was a place
(25:25):
because you know, like I said, growing up in Nebraska,
the way that I grew up, I was taught to
be small and quiet and to hide and to not
take up space. And what the Broadway community says is
we are here, we're loud, and.
Speaker 2 (25:42):
We love big.
Speaker 4 (25:44):
So I was actually just thinking about this because my
friend Alex, who's been in my eighties town for three years,
he actually said to me, goes Merle, you are actually screaming,
because when I would walk in the building, you wouldn't
you would hear me.
Speaker 3 (26:01):
I'd be like I'm.
Speaker 4 (26:03):
And it's like the fullest expression of myself that in
other places I forget to be.
Speaker 2 (26:11):
I forget that it's okay for me to take up space.
It's okay for me to be fully and you know.
Speaker 4 (26:18):
As goofy and dorky as I want to be, because
you know I am, and that that is okay. And
this is a community that reminds me my fullness is perfect.
And that was a place that really taught me that.
Speaker 1 (26:34):
That's, oh, my fullness is perfect. That's that's I mean.
I want to play a game and work, and we're
about to play a game. I'm just like a two
three question game. But my fullness is perfect.
Speaker 4 (26:50):
As it is, beautiful as it is, and that that
realization has been shackles, just the shackles off my feet.
Speaker 3 (27:01):
No, I have done this because you just want to
praise him.
Speaker 1 (27:06):
I just want to praise him well as you praise him.
Speaker 3 (27:10):
Can I have the of the talk board just it's
just gonna be like two.
Speaker 4 (27:14):
Three questions, yes, yes, let's see.
Speaker 1 (27:21):
I just want to make sure we say a little
bit of something about Harvest Home.
Speaker 2 (27:27):
Oh yeah, that's.
Speaker 3 (27:28):
Been really you.
Speaker 1 (27:30):
When when did you become dedicated to that? Because you've
been there.
Speaker 2 (27:33):
For so long.
Speaker 4 (27:34):
I have so uh and thank you for asking about
it because I know you know your your journey of
celebrating mothers and motherhood.
Speaker 2 (27:43):
You know it was it was a big deal for you.
Speaker 4 (27:48):
And a lot happened in your life when you were
becoming a mother and if you can imagine that most
vulnerable time, and you are even more vulnerable in our
in our culture being with so basically, Harvest Home Harvestomela
dot org is we give housing and holistic care to
unhouse pregnant women and their babies and we get them
(28:11):
on the right foot. Right. So I started maybe almost
fifteen years ago hosting their gallus and I was.
Speaker 2 (28:17):
Like, wait, wait, pump the brakes, pump the bricks. I
love this message.
Speaker 4 (28:21):
Yeah, and a good friend of mine, Sarah Wilson, was
executive directing. She's still the executive director. And then I
was like, you know what I want to do more?
So I started to ask about ways I could volunteer.
I did Thanksgiving deliveries, food deliveries to the alumni of Seeing,
you know, making sure they and their kids had everything
that they needed in abundance for Thanksgiving. Then I would
(28:43):
adopt a family around Christmas time and then I was like,
you know, I want more. So I would go into
the house and whenever you volunteer the house, we do
ask for background checks and stuff like that. But I
started to mentor one on one and I got to
know these women more intimate and their journey. And I
had one mentee who was just so inspirational to me,
(29:09):
and I was there the day her baby was born.
I got to see her celebrate his first birthday. And unfortunately,
last year we lost her to domestic violence. And when
that happened, it put me into overdrive because during the
pandemic We've only had the one house in Venice for
thirty years that housed nine women and while they were
(29:32):
in pregnancy, and six months after then out of nowhere,
the Archdiocese of La gifted us a convent, so there's
eighteen more rooms. It tripled our capacity, tripled our overhead.
So during the pandemic we completely converted it, renovated it
and opened it. So that coupled with the circumstances of
(29:56):
my mentee, and also knowing that right now our staff,
you know, our resources can't compete with say the county,
that we need to bring more resources in so we
can keep the best care, the best infrastructure and possibly
even open maybe an apartment building for them after they
(30:18):
leave the house. We're dreaming big here, but that these
women have everything they need, caseworkers, therapy, even breastfeeding classes, everything,
you know what I'm saying. And it has been so
rewarding to be involved with that because I see how
they are practically loving people.
Speaker 2 (30:40):
Where they are, in who they are as they are, and.
Speaker 4 (30:46):
It's such a blessing. So Harvest get involved.
Speaker 1 (30:49):
That is beautiful, and we are we're getting involved because
that's amazing and I know it's something very near and
dear to your heart. And it's something that I've known
about since I've met you, and it's just been a
beautiful thing to see how you how you've helped it grow,
and how it I'm sure has affected you. Yes, you know,
absolutely in wonderful ways. Okay, this is gonna be this
(31:09):
or that. She's a couple of questionings, just a couple
of questions, and I'm actually interested, you know what, I'm
actually interested in what you would say.
Speaker 3 (31:21):
You know, I told you before Charity always wins.
Speaker 2 (31:27):
Can I say something about that?
Speaker 4 (31:29):
Because there was she gave a rap gift to everybody,
a T shirt and it was a very nice T
shirt that I still wear, but written on this.
Speaker 2 (31:39):
Shirt says Charity always wins.
Speaker 4 (31:42):
So we all are like the ambassador something is what it.
Speaker 3 (31:46):
Is, Charity always wins.
Speaker 2 (31:48):
It was like it was the last day I got.
I was like she got like a fly.
Speaker 1 (31:56):
Were like, oh I got you and it's cute and
I'm gonna be wearing them all the time.
Speaker 3 (32:01):
Yeah, hilarious. Okay, musical or straight play?
Speaker 1 (32:05):
Oh oh that's hard.
Speaker 4 (32:08):
I'm gonna say straight play really yeah.
Speaker 1 (32:11):
Okay, Okay, I write it down, Okay, Yeah, yea, yeah, yeah, okay, okay,
you're gonna do that. Okay, But so that's fine. Okay,
so we write that down. But now, okay, what what
brings you your joy? Quiet moments alone or a fun
night out? And I'm not tell you are I mean,
we can do whatever we want, quiet moments alone?
Speaker 2 (32:28):
Break it up. I'm a r Why are you giving
me bedroomise?
Speaker 3 (32:35):
I was like, tern you know what, girl?
Speaker 1 (32:41):
You are so dumb bragging me up? Well, okay, what
brings you more joy? Quiet moments alone or a fun
night out?
Speaker 3 (32:50):
You know what we should do? You know what? You
guess mine, I'm gonna guess yours.
Speaker 2 (32:54):
Oh okay, And.
Speaker 1 (32:57):
Honestly, this is what I'm gonna give you. And that's fine,
and we're gonna do that.
Speaker 3 (33:02):
And the last one is who was worse?
Speaker 1 (33:08):
Phil de Mars or pastor basy Skaks. I'm gonna answer
that for you. Oh wait, so who I'm asked answering
answer for me? But oh oh.
Speaker 2 (33:25):
Okay, okay, fear for you.
Speaker 1 (33:27):
Okay, that's a cute question. Okay, So musical or play?
You said play, which is interesting. I really thought you
would have said musical.
Speaker 2 (33:38):
Uh huh uh huh.
Speaker 1 (33:38):
I wouldn't because your voice, I mean that's what you're.
You're Disney like you are the You're the girl.
Speaker 4 (33:44):
But I started my career on Kitchen sing theater in Chicago,
doing stuff like Kentucky Cycle with like Nick Offerman, and
like I started a theater company where we would do
uh these environmental we would like take over a storefront
and we would like turn it into Nazi Germany, you know,
and I like stay up all night making curtains. Like
that's the kind of okay that like the Stepping Wolf
(34:05):
feel like.
Speaker 2 (34:06):
Back in the day.
Speaker 3 (34:07):
The music music for sure came later for you.
Speaker 2 (34:09):
It did come later. I love it, though.
Speaker 3 (34:11):
I definitely put a straight play for me.
Speaker 1 (34:13):
But that's yeah, yeah, okay, okay, okay, Well for you,
I put what brings more joy, quiet moments alone, more
a fun night out. Here's the thing, I know what
a fun night out does for you. So I'm just
gonna say a fun night out. I know you like
to be at home in a bay by six and
moisturizing later.
Speaker 3 (34:31):
But when you do, when you go out, you go out.
Speaker 2 (34:33):
You're right right, you know what. That's a loving answer.
That's that's like, I know, I know what you like,
I know what's good for you, and you did get
me out of a house. Yeah yeah, okay, I just
put fun night out for you.
Speaker 3 (34:45):
Oh yeah, you're like, yeah for sure.
Speaker 2 (34:48):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (34:49):
The last one I put Who's worst Phildmars are pass
the basis I put I put Phil to Mars for
you because Phil was trying to take everything. He was
trying to take the church and give it to the
Caucasian people.
Speaker 4 (35:02):
Yeah yeah, yeah, uh huh, that is accurate. And I'm
gonna tell you in a second, I put Basie for you.
Speaker 2 (35:09):
Mmm. No, No, Phil.
Speaker 3 (35:13):
Broke Charity's heart.
Speaker 5 (35:14):
Oh really felt used to her, but it was based
in love. Like you liked him, you did, Charity, Charity
really liked him, so I see what you mean though,
Yeah she did, and she she went behind your back
and gave him some stuff to use that was gonna
(35:35):
break up the church.
Speaker 3 (35:37):
And then he turned him.
Speaker 2 (35:38):
Oh what's that, Charney, What else did you do?
Speaker 1 (35:46):
Racking up?
Speaker 3 (35:46):
Oh my god?
Speaker 1 (35:47):
Merle Andrea Dandre the way the way I love you,
I love you the way I love you.
Speaker 3 (35:55):
Thank you for.
Speaker 1 (35:56):
Your heart like you it's you can't be somebody with
just a good heart.
Speaker 3 (36:01):
Doesn't matter what you go through in life.
Speaker 1 (36:02):
Every relationship has ups and downs, but your heart is
so pure and so good, and I know that I'm
the better for it, and I know that everybody else.
Speaker 3 (36:10):
Listening is going to be the better for it. So
thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. My sister
choosing Joy with me.
Speaker 2 (36:24):
I love you, I love you.
Speaker 1 (36:26):
Hi, It's dever Joy Winings. Williams here. Thank you so
much for watching Choosing Joy. This episode was with the
one and only Merle Dandridge, and man, she dropped some gems.
So if you liked it, please click that like button,
subscribe and listen for more because we got some more
things coming.
Speaker 2 (36:43):
And remember, Choose Joy.
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