August 1, 2025 • 30 mins
In this heartfelt and joy-filled episode of Choosing Joy, beloved actress, author, and entrepreneur Tabitha Brown joins Deborah Joy Winans Williams for a deeply inspiring conversation about obedience, surrender, motherhood, and trusting the voice of God.
With her signature warmth and radiant spirit, Tabitha opens up about how illness shifted her faith, why she gave up on her dream temporarily, and how radical obedience led her to the life she was always meant to live. From walking away from fashion school to becoming a breakout star after 30, Tabitha shares how she stopped trying to control everything and started letting God guide her steps.
She also reflects on her early marriage, raising a family, and how motherhood didn’t block her dreams — it stretched her into someone even more prepared to succeed.
Whether you're an aspiring creative, a parent trying to juggle it all, or someone waiting for your “breakthrough,” Tabitha’s journey reminds us that joy is not the result of having it all — it’s choosing to trust when the plan doesn’t make sense yet.
📌 Chapters (Timestamps)
00:00 – Wellness Sponsor (Olly)
00:33 – Welcome + Deborah Joy on Tabitha’s Impact
02:30 – Where Tabitha’s Joy Comes From
05:00 – Setting Boundaries Without Losing Your Light
08:00 – Moving for the Dream, Returning for Love
10:30 – Tabitha’s Divine Wake-Up Call
12:00 – How Obedience Changed Everything
14:00 – Motherhood & Acting: Slowing Down With Purpose
17:00 – Why Tabitha Left Fashion School
19:00 – How Motherhood Made Her a Better Actor
21:00 – Would She Change Anything?
22:30 – On Losing Her Mother and Carrying Her Legacy
24:00 – The Moment She Surrendered to God
26:00 – Lightning Round: Joy, Regret, Obedience
29:00 – Final Reflections & Best Friend Energy
#TabithaBrown #ChoosingJoyPodcast #DeborahJoyWinansWilliams #ObedienceAndFaith #TrustGodsTiming #BlackWomenInFaith #TabTime #GodsPlan #MotherhoodAndPurpose #FaithDriven #SurrenderedLife #FromDreamToDestiny #SpiritualEncouragement #ChristianPodcast
What part of Tabitha’s story inspired you the most — her obedience, her motherhood journey, or her faith through sickness?
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
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relearning algebra two. It's a lot for you and your crew.
Ali makes wellness an easy and delightful part of your routine.
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(00:22):
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That's O L l Y dot com.
Speaker 2 (00:33):
Being a joyfuls feeling like my whole life as a kid,
Like I just I'd be happy girl, you know, alive things.
Speaker 3 (00:44):
I'm a brown.
Speaker 1 (00:47):
Hello is Leverer Joy Winings Williams and this is choosing joy.
Thank you so much for being with us and today.
Speaker 3 (00:55):
Ooh, I just y'all.
Speaker 1 (00:56):
I'm really excited. I love everyone that we get to
talk to, really really do. Uh. This woman is someone
that I have probably stalked, not just watched from the outside.
You know how you think somebody your best friend in
your head and you ain't never met them. She's vibrant.
She literally walks joy. She speaks joy. You can see it,
(01:20):
and you know how you have a good meal. And
it's not that the meal was just done in such
a way that is spectacular, but you know, it's loving it.
That's what she is. She puts a lot of love
in and intentionality, I think, in everything that she does,
and she uses her platform for positivity and it really
(01:40):
blesses my heart. She's been blessing me for a long time.
So I am very very excited that I get to
talk to the one and only tab of the brown.
Speaker 3 (01:51):
Sweet girl is the truth?
Speaker 2 (01:55):
I mean, now.
Speaker 1 (01:56):
What what we got? Yeah? I mean for sure us friend.
In my head, it is as I've told you. I
think it's particularly in the world that we live in
right now, very difficult to walk through life with such
a joy like I see you and it feels like
the like I feel like I live up to my name,
(02:18):
but I feel like you are the embodiment of walking
breathing joy and it feels so authentic. Have you always
carried that light? Has it always been that way for you?
Speaker 3 (02:33):
I think the majority of my life.
Speaker 2 (02:35):
Yes, Like I was telling you earlier, I mean a
joyful spirit, like my whole life as a kid, Like
I just i'd be happy, girl alive and things.
Speaker 3 (02:47):
I'm a I'm above ground.
Speaker 1 (02:50):
Look, thank you Jesus.
Speaker 2 (02:52):
But I mean I had like a like a period
of time where things were not great, right, healthless, not great,
a lot of sickness, a lot of loss, a lot
of darkness, and it was not fun. Yeah, And so
now I'm like intentional with choosing joy, but also like
I just.
Speaker 3 (03:10):
Be feeling good.
Speaker 1 (03:13):
You just happy, just be happy the street I do.
Speaker 3 (03:18):
I'm just that's who I am.
Speaker 1 (03:20):
So did you did you know that you were having
this sort of effect on people as a young.
Speaker 3 (03:29):
Lady, because you're you, You.
Speaker 1 (03:31):
Walk in and it changes, and I would say it's
not it's it's the Holy spirit within you. I would
say it's your faith. I would say it's a lot
of things that when you move, you walk in, things change,
you shift the atmosphere, and if there was sadness, and
if there was whatever, things seem to sort of dissipate.
(03:53):
That's a gift. That's a everybody ain't got that. Not
to say that people are not choosing joy, but that
a very special gift. Did you know that you were
affecting people in that way as a young lady.
Speaker 3 (04:05):
I don't think I realized it to that extent.
Speaker 1 (04:08):
Right.
Speaker 2 (04:08):
But I did know, like I have the power to
make somebody laugh, right.
Speaker 1 (04:14):
You know.
Speaker 2 (04:14):
My dad used to be buying me joke books when
I was a kid because I just loved telling jokes
and stuff.
Speaker 3 (04:17):
When I was little. Oh yeah, we used to watch
all like comedians and all the things. So it's just
always been a.
Speaker 2 (04:22):
Thing, like I like to laugh, yea, And so I
knew that, like, oh, when you come in and you
say something funny that makes somebody laugh, like that's a superpower.
Speaker 3 (04:31):
Like as a little girl, that's what I thought, right.
Speaker 2 (04:33):
So then becoming an adult realizing like we all have.
Speaker 3 (04:38):
The ability to shift the atmosphere.
Speaker 2 (04:40):
I could have came in here rolling my eyes, being
real quiet to people, and I would have changed the
atmosphere in here, yeah, and it would have been like
in a bad moody and ready for me to go.
Speaker 1 (04:50):
Right. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (04:51):
But the shift is like, hey, y'all, how y'all doing it?
Speaker 2 (04:54):
Like you were loving hugs and you talk to everybody
and you at like we should be together because we
should be right. Yeah, But I think we all do
have that ability. It's just that we don't all choose
to do.
Speaker 1 (05:06):
So yeah yeah, or recognize it and then figure out
how to tap into it.
Speaker 2 (05:11):
And some of us have been wounded, and so we're
afraid to expose joy and get that to others because
we're guarded.
Speaker 1 (05:20):
Yeah, so what allowed you to not keep up a
guard going through some of those dark times? And whether
it was health or or loss of someone or something.
I never really put up a guard, Okay, you know,
I was just going through Yeah, you know when you're
going through my I guess if you would say isolation
(05:40):
would be my only guard. I just was like, I
need to be by myself a little while, just at
home with my family because I really couldn't show up
the way I needed to m And I'm one of
those people where if.
Speaker 3 (05:53):
I can't show up in.
Speaker 2 (05:54):
A full way, and no need to be going because
what am I gonna give?
Speaker 3 (05:59):
Yeah to to the atmosphere, to the room, to the people.
Speaker 2 (06:03):
So yeah, it's I think there's a healthy way to
put up a guard, you know, balance and boundaries and
things like that, But I just I don't.
Speaker 1 (06:15):
Yeah, nothing's gonna stop you from being who you want
to be.
Speaker 2 (06:20):
But I mean I will address something if it happens
in the in the moment, and I'll make.
Speaker 3 (06:25):
A note like, oh, you ain't gonna get you ain't
gonna give it.
Speaker 2 (06:28):
The next time somebody, Okay, it's okay, but no, I'd
rather just exist and see what's gonna happen.
Speaker 3 (06:39):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (06:40):
Yeah, that's a beautiful way to live, and it's not.
Speaker 2 (06:42):
I also don't put myself in a situation if I
can control it.
Speaker 3 (06:46):
Yeah that may hurt me.
Speaker 1 (06:48):
Yeah, you know, yeah, which is a boundary.
Speaker 2 (06:51):
Yeah, I ain't gonna go over there if I know
the folks don't really care for me, or if I
know that we're not really the same, like our minds
don't think the same, you don't.
Speaker 3 (07:02):
Like joyful people, or you know, whatever the case may be.
But you know, you know you're where to go and
where absolutely you.
Speaker 1 (07:08):
Know where you're wanted and where you're not.
Speaker 3 (07:12):
Yeah, and you know, God gave us all a gift,
that intuition and that gut feeling.
Speaker 1 (07:17):
Trust me, and you have a choice. Yeah, like you
know what, angle, Yeah I think I got. I started
realizing more of my choices probably in my thirties. It's like,
why am I still going over there?
Speaker 3 (07:32):
Right?
Speaker 1 (07:32):
They don't like me, It's okay, just stay at home.
And I like myself, but I will sit right by
myself and be okay. But it's a choice.
Speaker 3 (07:42):
It's a choice.
Speaker 1 (07:44):
Okay, So you got married early?
Speaker 3 (07:46):
Did you get married early? I did?
Speaker 1 (07:48):
Yes, you got married early. And you also said when
you were younger, you want to be an actress. Do
you feel like marriage like did you have a timeline
on what you wanted to do or did you feel
like marriage shifted your time or your desire or your
goals for your career?
Speaker 3 (08:07):
Oh? Girl, yes.
Speaker 2 (08:08):
So with me and my husband together since ninety eight, right,
twenty seven years, I know. And when we first got together,
I moved to California, thought I was going there one
in La Girl. I was down in bottom of Orange County.
I was like, no, you didn't know where I'm met. No,
I was renting the room for somebody, and my.
Speaker 3 (08:27):
Mama knew from North Carolina.
Speaker 2 (08:30):
I was like, I don't know where I'm So my
husband and he was my boyfriend at the time, he
came out later. Because I was renting this room. I
was there for like three or four months, and then
he was gonna come and then we were gonna get
a place. But it was so bad. I didn't tell
nobody how bad it was. When he got there, he
was like, okay, so listen, we need to go back
to North Carolina, stay for one year, save up money
(08:52):
because it was cheaper, then moved to LA so you
can really pursue your acting.
Speaker 3 (08:56):
Right And I was like, oh, all right, I guess
so that one being how bad was it?
Speaker 1 (09:02):
Girl?
Speaker 3 (09:05):
Maybe I was working too little job?
Speaker 2 (09:09):
Uh huh? That lady was taking all my money? Oh
cause I also was very green. And then I was nineteen.
I ain't no, Yeah, I'm from the country.
Speaker 3 (09:16):
Yeah, this this is my mother taking advantage of me.
Speaker 1 (09:19):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (09:19):
And so my husband came out. He was like, uh uh,
we going back home right cause I couldn't even save
money cause she was, you know, taking everything. So we
went back home. So the one year planned it was
supposed to be one year, go to Greensboro, cause we
didn't go back to our hometown.
Speaker 3 (09:35):
Went to the city which greens brank That Bee, that's
a city, that's the city.
Speaker 2 (09:39):
Okay, So we went went back to Greensboro. The plan
was to stay for one year, so that one year
turned into five years.
Speaker 3 (09:45):
Really, we had a baby. Yeah, we got married. I
was working for UPS.
Speaker 2 (09:49):
We was both working at the call center and I
convinced myself that, oh lord, I ain't got pregnant.
Speaker 3 (09:54):
I'm young, I had a baby. I can't pursue that
acting now.
Speaker 2 (09:58):
So we just gonna live this life and I'm gonna
just be okay. And I just tried to block the
dream out mm and I really thought that's what it
was gonna be. And I remember, and I've told the
story so many times, but this is the truth. There
was a it felt like an earthquake hit Greensboro one morning,
(10:18):
and I was in the bed and the bed shook
and it woke me up. And I heard a voice
that down there like thunder, and he said, this is
not the life I planned for you.
Speaker 3 (10:27):
And I got very scared. I got on my knees.
Speaker 2 (10:29):
I saw a printing. I said, okay, now, Lord, if
this you speaking to me, yeah, I need you to
show me a sign today.
Speaker 3 (10:36):
And if not, i'm'a tell my.
Speaker 2 (10:37):
Husband take me to the hospital. Cause it was the
scariest thing I ever experienced. And later that day we
were on our way to the mall, me and my
husband and my daughter, and on the radio, the uh
DJ came on and he was like, hey, this bust
of brown. I got a new TV show on the
WB network and I'm holding auditions looking for a female
co host and girl.
Speaker 3 (10:55):
I almost lost it cause.
Speaker 2 (10:57):
It ain't never been no auditions in and so I
ended up going to the audition. I told my husband
that's my sign, because I know he thought I was
crazy afoughter.
Speaker 3 (11:05):
I told him what happened.
Speaker 2 (11:06):
I was like, I prayed for a sign, though, so
don't where he gonna show me a sign. And we
went to the audition and I ended up looking that
that was my first audition I'd ever had for like television.
I had done theater and things, but never anything like that.
And that's the thing that made me start dreaming again
because I really had convinced myself that I done got married.
Speaker 3 (11:25):
Now I got a child, like I gotta, you know.
Speaker 2 (11:28):
Just be traditional, right, And I started doing you know,
hosting and producing on television. I started back doing theater
and that fire started to burn inside again. And I
did that for like a year or two. In North Carolina.
I told my husband, I said it's time to move
to LA now. And he was like, wait a minute.
You know, we got these little babies, little He was like, uh,
(11:50):
we got this house, we got responsibilities. I was like,
I know, but I don't heard the voice of the Lord.
Something is waiting on me out there, and I got
to go. And then I Mamaya, I was doing all
these things, but I won't making a whole lot of money.
I was making them thirty thousand dollars a year, and
I was like, I can go, and we can. I
can be by coastal with what money. I don't know, okay,
but in my mind, but you know what, in my mind, I.
Speaker 3 (12:14):
Heard a word and he was like, no, we ain't
gonna do that. Saved up, and then we ended up
moving to La Yeah.
Speaker 2 (12:22):
Then about eight months later we moved and I've been
pursuing it ever since.
Speaker 3 (12:26):
And my husband has been my biggest support system, my
biggest you know, cheerleader.
Speaker 2 (12:31):
Even though he never saw the visions that I saw,
you know, I would dream about things, I would see things,
and I would tell him I was like, God showed
me this, I'm gonna do this, this and this, and
he'd be like, okay, bae.
Speaker 3 (12:41):
All right, I'm gonna go to work whatever. You you know.
Speaker 2 (12:45):
He always say he never believed in the visions. He
only believed in me. So it was just you know.
I think that's the reason I was able to succeed
is because my husband was not in the business. He's
not a big dreamer. He is one plus one because
too you go to work and you get a check.
That's how he thinks.
Speaker 1 (13:03):
And that's how you're gonna make your money.
Speaker 3 (13:04):
That's right.
Speaker 2 (13:05):
And so while I was out dreaming big and having
a job for five days and not a job and
being you know, all the things, he was consistently working
and it afforded me the ability to be abless with
my dreams.
Speaker 1 (13:16):
So ooh, you guys married the right person.
Speaker 3 (13:19):
Maneah oh, honey, God knows them for me.
Speaker 1 (13:21):
That is beautiful. When I think of choosing joy, I
think of choosing wellness. Here's a word from our sponsor.
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(13:41):
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These products at ali dot com or Retailer's Nation, Why
that's O L l Y dot com. Growing up in
(14:05):
this sort of entertainment industry and in church, it has
felt like, oh, once you have a kid, life is over.
You're gonna have to defer.
Speaker 3 (14:14):
And that's the Southern life too, that's the Southern in tellent.
Speaker 1 (14:17):
That's what And so it doesn't. And I was never
the person that was like, oh, I can't wait to
have kids. I don't know if you were, if you
were like, oh, I'm ready to have kids.
Speaker 2 (14:25):
Yeah, I'm from the South, so you know, we just
h early if you can have them. If you're woman
is furred, it's like, have some children.
Speaker 3 (14:39):
That's three, you got kids. Yeah, I'll be looking at
my daughter now, who's twenty three. I raised here.
Speaker 2 (14:46):
Yeah, I'd be like, lord knows, ain't nowhere in the
word that baby could have no children and the husband
right now right now?
Speaker 3 (14:52):
Nothing? Yeah?
Speaker 1 (14:53):
Yeah, yeah, that's really no.
Speaker 3 (14:56):
Yeah yeah.
Speaker 1 (14:58):
Look. But I also feel like because in my mind
growing up that way, I knew this was what I
wanted to do. I knew I wanted to be an
actor since I was a little girl. It was my
parents used to take us to the movies every weekend
we do double features. Probably saw a lot of things
we shouldn't have seen, you know, just like thankst the
(15:18):
movies and you know all the things was expanding.
Speaker 3 (15:23):
Ye a theatrical palette. It's TV magic, that's it.
Speaker 1 (15:31):
And so I knew that was what I wanted. I
knew that was my goal. And I just knew if
I have if I get married too soon, or if
I have a kid too soon, it's going to deter
my goal, my dream, my career. And so I had
(15:51):
like a timeline. Let's say, God, don't work off your timeline, right,
that doesn't happen. Do you feel like motherhood has stretched
you in a way that has been beneficial for your
dreams and desires?
Speaker 2 (16:07):
Absolutely? Motherhood slowed me down because I am such a
free spirit.
Speaker 3 (16:14):
Like when I say, I moved to California and I
was staying in the room.
Speaker 2 (16:17):
Originally I got accepted in Columbia College in Chicago, right.
Speaker 3 (16:22):
And so I was supposed to be going to school
because let me let me back up. So I went
to school.
Speaker 2 (16:26):
When I first graduated from High School International Fine Arts
in Miami, I was studying fashion design right because I
used to make clothes, okay, and so.
Speaker 3 (16:35):
I know it's a lot. So okay.
Speaker 2 (16:43):
I was going to school because my great great aunt
was like the town seamstress that you know, made the
clothes and stuff.
Speaker 3 (16:48):
And I grew up watching her and doing the things.
Speaker 2 (16:50):
And so my mama was like, well, I know, you know,
you want to be an actor, but we don't know
no actors.
Speaker 3 (16:55):
And she wasn't trying to stop me from pursuit.
Speaker 2 (16:57):
She was just like, well, maybe you should go for
fashion and then you can use that to help you
pursue your dreams or fall back on it. So I thought, well,
maybe that's a good idea. So I went to school
in Miami. Therefore, that first time that I remember waking
up in the middle of the night and I was like,
I'm supposed to be performing. I gotta get out of
here to call my daddy. It was a Wednesday, one
in the morning. Probably scared the life out of him. Yeah,
walk him up, I said, Daddy, I'm wasting your money
(17:19):
and you to come get me. That was a Wednesday night.
He beat me up on Saturday morning in Miami, fourteen
hour drive. Now, now Miami first one go to college
and my family and I said that I'm so sorry
I'm quitting, but I gotta go and figure out what
this thing is inside of me.
Speaker 3 (17:32):
Right.
Speaker 2 (17:33):
So I applied to Columbia College in Chicago because it's
performing arts, and it went out there that April, like
in the spring to you know, beauty school and stuff.
That's how they get you. Chicago get you in the
spring time. You come out there, it's like, oh, this
is beautiful, wink.
Speaker 1 (17:46):
Winter is gonna smack your like a rag guy.
Speaker 2 (17:51):
So I had applied to the school, and two weeks
before it was time for me to go that Auguds,
they sent me a letter saying that my financial aid
had been done because of the outstanding financial aid I
had in Miami.
Speaker 3 (18:04):
And my dad and mom was like, we ain't got
no more money. We would you want to?
Speaker 2 (18:09):
So I was like, Mama, you still got that lady
that said that she had a room in California.
Speaker 3 (18:15):
You think she'll let me rent a room?
Speaker 2 (18:16):
And Mama was like, I guess I called it lady.
And I was going in a week like just okay,
I'm just go to California. I'm gonna just go make it.
Speaker 3 (18:24):
I ain't asked. So if you in Los Angeles or
you in Hollywood. I didn't care. I just was like,
I'm gonna go right, I'm not.
Speaker 1 (18:32):
So it's so you have always sounds like you've always
been like, okay, well what's the solution?
Speaker 3 (18:37):
Yeah, okay.
Speaker 2 (18:39):
I'm a big dreamer and I just really believe in like, oh,
what's gonna be gonna be right? But I used to
just just up and go. It didn't ever matter. I
ain't have nobody to think about it but myself. So
when I had my daughter, it changed how I thought.
Now I had to have somebody to be responsible for.
That also made me look myself and say, okay, I
(19:00):
want to make sure that I'm making the right decision
for me and my daughter, you know. And then of
course with my husband's my partner. So having kids really
made me think differently. I was more smarter with my choices.
Speaker 3 (19:13):
But it also.
Speaker 2 (19:16):
Developed work inside of me as an actor because now
it's like, I'm not acting like a mama. Yeah yeah, yeah,
I can give you a look that only a mama
can give that I know what that looked mean, absolutely right.
Speaker 3 (19:27):
I mean I remember my mama giving me the looks.
Speaker 2 (19:29):
It.
Speaker 3 (19:29):
Now it's like I lived this like yeah, what I'm saying,
like you'd be like, oh, girls, sit down somewhere right.
Speaker 2 (19:36):
Yeah, So all of these things actually made me better,
I feel like, but it also just made me appreciate
like success more because I was able to do it
while mothering. Working while waiting has been the most amazing
thing for me. Like I worked as a mother, I
worked as a wife. I worked like odd jobs and
(19:57):
all the things while waiting for success.
Speaker 3 (19:59):
To come and still pursuing it.
Speaker 2 (20:02):
And so I think it all plays a role with
who I am. Yeah, you know, empathy and care and
being patient. Yeah, my children taught me that, So I
absolutely love it. I always tell people because I have
a lot of friends in the industry, Yeah, who are
you know women who are single and don't have children,
And there are women of certain ages who may never
have children now, and so I always tell them as
(20:25):
they share with me, like it's our job to tell
younger women, don't think you have to have a certain
accomplishment before you have children or before you settle down
and still have it all.
Speaker 1 (20:39):
So motherhood has expanded you in ways that absolutely lend
to your career and how you can approach different characters.
Do you feel like you would change anything about how
it happened.
Speaker 3 (20:57):
No, it was supposed to be this way. Yeah, you know.
Speaker 2 (21:02):
I think about like, you know, I lost my mother early,
and I was in my twenties, but I was out here,
and I often be like, God, I show wish that
I had accomplished, you know, some of the things I've
accomplished while she was here. Yeah, but then I realized
that I wouldn't have accomplished them if she was here. YM.
Speaker 3 (21:22):
The loss of her changed me. It shifted me.
Speaker 2 (21:27):
It made me who I am, which is part of
the reason why I'm successful.
Speaker 1 (21:31):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (21:31):
Right, So I think we all have a assignment MM.
And my mama knew her assignment, and her assignment was
to be here for fifty one years and to leave
this everlasting love with me. M but also her faith
and her grace and her compassion for people. She left
that with me so that I could carry that on.
(21:54):
If she was still here, I wouldn't be trying to
carry that, yeah, right. And so that's what I feel
that people see and feel when they encounter me.
Speaker 3 (22:02):
Yeah, And so I wouldn't change it. I miss her, yeah,
you know, but that was her assignment, and so I
now I'm just gonna be mine.
Speaker 1 (22:11):
Is there anything that you would say to young not
just women, but young people, you know this day and age,
you know, with dreams, with goals and feeling like there's
so many no's and it's so difficult and how do
I get seen? And is this really? There are so
(22:32):
many times what my husband can tell you, I go
back and forth, like maybe God didn't call me to
do this, Maybe there's something else I'm supposed to be
doing right, you know, But what is the thing that
you can say that is your rock, That that that
cornerstone that as long as I got this, I can
keep choosing and I can keep moving forward with this joy.
Speaker 2 (22:56):
I think that little voice inside right thing that pushes
me every day, I'm like, hmmm, when that voice inside
that tells you to perform, or that you have a
great idea, or that you should go left instead of right, whatever,
that little voice that we all have, listen to that
(23:16):
and then the moment that it goes silent, don't move
wait right, Yeah, Like that's my thing, Like, don't go
against it because most times that's when we're now we're
just trying to be in control. Yeah, But knowing that
who's in complete control. Yeah right, yeah, then we're being obedient. Yeah,
and that's that's the biggest thing that changed my life,
(23:36):
is obedience, because I used to always think I was
in control.
Speaker 3 (23:39):
Oh I'm gonna do it. Oh I'm doing this.
Speaker 2 (23:41):
Oh I'm doing that, and I'm like, I won't do
nothing but cutting up right.
Speaker 3 (23:45):
I mean I was doing some things.
Speaker 2 (23:46):
But the moment I surrendered, yeah, and became obedient, and
I started to listen to the voice and trust God
and really try to walk in an obedient way and
quiet the noise of people, because the little voice ain't people.
Mm hmm, yeah, because a lot of times we listen
to people. Yeah, that'll be messing us up. Yeah, right
now he can send people. Yeah, but the outside noise,
(24:08):
especially the people who ain't doing what you're trying to do.
But they swear they know, you know those people are
they don't. Don't listen to that noise and just trust
that this thing that lives inside of you is there
for a reason.
Speaker 1 (24:23):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (24:23):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (24:25):
What was that moment that you became very obedient.
Speaker 3 (24:29):
After sickness, right or during sickness when.
Speaker 2 (24:31):
I'd always been like trying to be obedient. Okay, do
what I'm gonna do it, but then I still do
it my way or whatever I had hit or miss.
Speaker 3 (24:40):
You know, he was working on it for a long time.
You know, you grew up in the church.
Speaker 2 (24:44):
You think you know something that you like, I need
to know you for myself, right, I had to do
a lot of unlearning. Yeah, And so the moment for
me was in sickness, right because I was sick for
a year and a half.
Speaker 3 (24:58):
Thought I was gonna die. I did not know what
was wrong with me, right, Yeah, And.
Speaker 2 (25:01):
So I had been praying, like God, please heal me,
Please heal me, Like Lord, I want to see forty,
like I wanna see thirty nine. Like I was just praying, God,
please heal me. And I realized I was just habitually praying.
I won't praying because I meant it. I was just
praying out to have it. And I really didn't believe
it anymore. And so I was like I had to
check myself. And I was like, okay, Lord and I
(25:23):
I talk about this often. I had not come into
Jesus moment in my bathroom. And I went in the
bathroom and I was in the mirror liquor at myself
and I was like, Okay, Lord.
Speaker 3 (25:31):
If you heal me, you can have me mm.
Speaker 2 (25:34):
And that meant I can't live my life my way
no more. Yeah, I can only live it the way
you have designed me and created me to live it.
And in that moment, I wasn't healed in that moment,
but something shifted and said, And from that day on
I have intentionally been living an obedient life. And that's
(25:54):
been almost eight years ago, and my life began to
change after that.
Speaker 1 (26:00):
Living obedience, continuously choosing joy and listening to that little
voice that God has put inside of all of us
has led you to this beautiful sure complicated because life
is full of complications, but a beautiful journey. Dah, thank
(26:26):
you so much for sharing.
Speaker 3 (26:27):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (26:28):
Okay, I'm like you, No, you don't understand you. You
really are my best friends. I guess what it is.
We're gonna play a game real quick. Where are the chalkboards?
Would you choose a good? And I'm talking about one
of those places where they get in when you lay
down in that wash bowl, it's almost euphoric. They are scratching,
(26:51):
they are all the things. Would you choose a good?
Deep plans of Donna or a nice deep tissue massage
that's gonna just give you the relaxation that you need.
Speaker 2 (27:03):
And I'm putting this on yeah okay.
Speaker 1 (27:11):
Okay, okay, A quiet moment with yourself or a laughter
with loved ones which feeds your joy more on a
hard day. A quiet moment with yourself or laughter with
loved ones. I feel like I know what you're gonna say. Okay, ooh,
I like this one. Okay. What has taught you more
(27:33):
in the long run? Learning the hard way or trusting
your intuition? Okay, Now tell me if this makes sense,
because I feel like I feel like it does, and
I really really want to know how you feel about this.
Is the fear of regret something that pushes you to
(27:56):
do everything you desire or is it something that's sort
of paralyzed as this you.
Speaker 2 (28:02):
Mm hmm.
Speaker 1 (28:11):
What's more valuable to you right now? Work that stretches
you or work that's familiar to you? Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.
Speaker 3 (28:27):
Let's see if we twins are not.
Speaker 1 (28:29):
You know, I feel like I feel like we're you
know what, no matter what that says, no matter what
that says our best friends, We've already shaken on it like.
Speaker 3 (28:39):
It is what it is? Will we turn at the
same time? Yes, okay, okay, let's see.
Speaker 1 (28:47):
Oh okay, okay, okay.
Speaker 2 (28:49):
We almost have the exact answers. Oh my god, you
put both put both in.
Speaker 3 (28:56):
I say, interesting.
Speaker 1 (28:59):
Okay, So there's Do you ever have a fear.
Speaker 2 (29:03):
Of regret or do you know it's just it's just
not part of I gotta be in a moment and
what's gonna happen is gonna happen. Yeah, what's gonna happen
is gonna it's gonna be what it's gonna be.
Speaker 1 (29:19):
On Yes, Oh okay, I love you so much. I
love when you came in. I knew you were happy
and you were having a wonderful day. But I hope
you leave feeling even better.
Speaker 3 (29:30):
I feel amazing.
Speaker 1 (29:31):
I love thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you,
thank you. Oh my god, thank.
Speaker 3 (29:36):
You so much.
Speaker 1 (29:37):
I love you. Hi. It's Deever Joy Winings Williams. Thank
you so much for watching Choosing Joy, our guest, the delightful.
My new best friend, Tabitha Brown gave us all of
the wisdom. So let me know what your takeaways are.
I'm certainly running with trusting that that that God has
given me that intuition, and believing that all the dream
(30:00):
that I have are still within my reach. So let
me know what you think, and hit that leg button
and subscribe and keep choosing joy m
We know the back to school chaos all too well. Schedules, carpools,
relearning algebra two. It's a lot for you and your crew.
Ali makes wellness an easy and delightful part of your routine.
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is bedtime a struggle, Go with kids, sleep for gentle support.
(00:22):
Moms support your immune system, nutrition and more with Women's
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That's O L l Y dot com.
Speaker 2 (00:33):
Being a joyfuls feeling like my whole life as a kid,
Like I just I'd be happy girl, you know, alive things.
Speaker 3 (00:44):
I'm a brown.
Speaker 1 (00:47):
Hello is Leverer Joy Winings Williams and this is choosing joy.
Thank you so much for being with us and today.
Speaker 3 (00:55):
Ooh, I just y'all.
Speaker 1 (00:56):
I'm really excited. I love everyone that we get to
talk to, really really do. Uh. This woman is someone
that I have probably stalked, not just watched from the outside.
You know how you think somebody your best friend in
your head and you ain't never met them. She's vibrant.
She literally walks joy. She speaks joy. You can see it,
(01:20):
and you know how you have a good meal. And
it's not that the meal was just done in such
a way that is spectacular, but you know, it's loving it.
That's what she is. She puts a lot of love
in and intentionality, I think, in everything that she does,
and she uses her platform for positivity and it really
(01:40):
blesses my heart. She's been blessing me for a long time.
So I am very very excited that I get to
talk to the one and only tab of the brown.
Speaker 3 (01:51):
Sweet girl is the truth?
Speaker 2 (01:55):
I mean, now.
Speaker 1 (01:56):
What what we got? Yeah? I mean for sure us friend.
In my head, it is as I've told you. I
think it's particularly in the world that we live in
right now, very difficult to walk through life with such
a joy like I see you and it feels like
the like I feel like I live up to my name,
(02:18):
but I feel like you are the embodiment of walking
breathing joy and it feels so authentic. Have you always
carried that light? Has it always been that way for you?
Speaker 3 (02:33):
I think the majority of my life.
Speaker 2 (02:35):
Yes, Like I was telling you earlier, I mean a
joyful spirit, like my whole life as a kid, Like
I just i'd be happy, girl alive and things.
Speaker 3 (02:47):
I'm a I'm above ground.
Speaker 1 (02:50):
Look, thank you Jesus.
Speaker 2 (02:52):
But I mean I had like a like a period
of time where things were not great, right, healthless, not great,
a lot of sickness, a lot of loss, a lot
of darkness, and it was not fun. Yeah, And so
now I'm like intentional with choosing joy, but also like
I just.
Speaker 3 (03:10):
Be feeling good.
Speaker 1 (03:13):
You just happy, just be happy the street I do.
Speaker 3 (03:18):
I'm just that's who I am.
Speaker 1 (03:20):
So did you did you know that you were having
this sort of effect on people as a young.
Speaker 3 (03:29):
Lady, because you're you, You.
Speaker 1 (03:31):
Walk in and it changes, and I would say it's
not it's it's the Holy spirit within you. I would
say it's your faith. I would say it's a lot
of things that when you move, you walk in, things change,
you shift the atmosphere, and if there was sadness, and
if there was whatever, things seem to sort of dissipate.
(03:53):
That's a gift. That's a everybody ain't got that. Not
to say that people are not choosing joy, but that
a very special gift. Did you know that you were
affecting people in that way as a young lady.
Speaker 3 (04:05):
I don't think I realized it to that extent.
Speaker 1 (04:08):
Right.
Speaker 2 (04:08):
But I did know, like I have the power to
make somebody laugh, right.
Speaker 1 (04:14):
You know.
Speaker 2 (04:14):
My dad used to be buying me joke books when
I was a kid because I just loved telling jokes
and stuff.
Speaker 3 (04:17):
When I was little. Oh yeah, we used to watch
all like comedians and all the things. So it's just
always been a.
Speaker 2 (04:22):
Thing, like I like to laugh, yea, And so I
knew that, like, oh, when you come in and you
say something funny that makes somebody laugh, like that's a superpower.
Speaker 3 (04:31):
Like as a little girl, that's what I thought, right.
Speaker 2 (04:33):
So then becoming an adult realizing like we all have.
Speaker 3 (04:38):
The ability to shift the atmosphere.
Speaker 2 (04:40):
I could have came in here rolling my eyes, being
real quiet to people, and I would have changed the
atmosphere in here, yeah, and it would have been like
in a bad moody and ready for me to go.
Speaker 1 (04:50):
Right. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (04:51):
But the shift is like, hey, y'all, how y'all doing it?
Speaker 2 (04:54):
Like you were loving hugs and you talk to everybody
and you at like we should be together because we
should be right. Yeah, But I think we all do
have that ability. It's just that we don't all choose
to do.
Speaker 1 (05:06):
So yeah yeah, or recognize it and then figure out
how to tap into it.
Speaker 2 (05:11):
And some of us have been wounded, and so we're
afraid to expose joy and get that to others because
we're guarded.
Speaker 1 (05:20):
Yeah, so what allowed you to not keep up a
guard going through some of those dark times? And whether
it was health or or loss of someone or something.
I never really put up a guard, Okay, you know,
I was just going through Yeah, you know when you're
going through my I guess if you would say isolation
(05:40):
would be my only guard. I just was like, I
need to be by myself a little while, just at
home with my family because I really couldn't show up
the way I needed to m And I'm one of
those people where if.
Speaker 3 (05:53):
I can't show up in.
Speaker 2 (05:54):
A full way, and no need to be going because
what am I gonna give?
Speaker 3 (05:59):
Yeah to to the atmosphere, to the room, to the people.
Speaker 2 (06:03):
So yeah, it's I think there's a healthy way to
put up a guard, you know, balance and boundaries and
things like that, But I just I don't.
Speaker 1 (06:15):
Yeah, nothing's gonna stop you from being who you want
to be.
Speaker 2 (06:20):
But I mean I will address something if it happens
in the in the moment, and I'll make.
Speaker 3 (06:25):
A note like, oh, you ain't gonna get you ain't
gonna give it.
Speaker 2 (06:28):
The next time somebody, Okay, it's okay, but no, I'd
rather just exist and see what's gonna happen.
Speaker 3 (06:39):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (06:40):
Yeah, that's a beautiful way to live, and it's not.
Speaker 2 (06:42):
I also don't put myself in a situation if I
can control it.
Speaker 3 (06:46):
Yeah that may hurt me.
Speaker 1 (06:48):
Yeah, you know, yeah, which is a boundary.
Speaker 2 (06:51):
Yeah, I ain't gonna go over there if I know
the folks don't really care for me, or if I
know that we're not really the same, like our minds
don't think the same, you don't.
Speaker 3 (07:02):
Like joyful people, or you know, whatever the case may be.
But you know, you know you're where to go and
where absolutely you.
Speaker 1 (07:08):
Know where you're wanted and where you're not.
Speaker 3 (07:12):
Yeah, and you know, God gave us all a gift,
that intuition and that gut feeling.
Speaker 1 (07:17):
Trust me, and you have a choice. Yeah, like you
know what, angle, Yeah I think I got. I started
realizing more of my choices probably in my thirties. It's like,
why am I still going over there?
Speaker 3 (07:32):
Right?
Speaker 1 (07:32):
They don't like me, It's okay, just stay at home.
And I like myself, but I will sit right by
myself and be okay. But it's a choice.
Speaker 3 (07:42):
It's a choice.
Speaker 1 (07:44):
Okay, So you got married early?
Speaker 3 (07:46):
Did you get married early? I did?
Speaker 1 (07:48):
Yes, you got married early. And you also said when
you were younger, you want to be an actress. Do
you feel like marriage like did you have a timeline
on what you wanted to do or did you feel
like marriage shifted your time or your desire or your
goals for your career?
Speaker 3 (08:07):
Oh? Girl, yes.
Speaker 2 (08:08):
So with me and my husband together since ninety eight, right,
twenty seven years, I know. And when we first got together,
I moved to California, thought I was going there one
in La Girl. I was down in bottom of Orange County.
I was like, no, you didn't know where I'm met. No,
I was renting the room for somebody, and my.
Speaker 3 (08:27):
Mama knew from North Carolina.
Speaker 2 (08:30):
I was like, I don't know where I'm So my
husband and he was my boyfriend at the time, he
came out later. Because I was renting this room. I
was there for like three or four months, and then
he was gonna come and then we were gonna get
a place. But it was so bad. I didn't tell
nobody how bad it was. When he got there, he
was like, okay, so listen, we need to go back
to North Carolina, stay for one year, save up money
(08:52):
because it was cheaper, then moved to LA so you
can really pursue your acting.
Speaker 3 (08:56):
Right And I was like, oh, all right, I guess
so that one being how bad was it?
Speaker 1 (09:02):
Girl?
Speaker 3 (09:05):
Maybe I was working too little job?
Speaker 2 (09:09):
Uh huh? That lady was taking all my money? Oh
cause I also was very green. And then I was nineteen.
I ain't no, Yeah, I'm from the country.
Speaker 3 (09:16):
Yeah, this this is my mother taking advantage of me.
Speaker 1 (09:19):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (09:19):
And so my husband came out. He was like, uh uh,
we going back home right cause I couldn't even save
money cause she was, you know, taking everything. So we
went back home. So the one year planned it was
supposed to be one year, go to Greensboro, cause we
didn't go back to our hometown.
Speaker 3 (09:35):
Went to the city which greens brank That Bee, that's
a city, that's the city.
Speaker 2 (09:39):
Okay, So we went went back to Greensboro. The plan
was to stay for one year, so that one year
turned into five years.
Speaker 3 (09:45):
Really, we had a baby. Yeah, we got married. I
was working for UPS.
Speaker 2 (09:49):
We was both working at the call center and I
convinced myself that, oh lord, I ain't got pregnant.
Speaker 3 (09:54):
I'm young, I had a baby. I can't pursue that
acting now.
Speaker 2 (09:58):
So we just gonna live this life and I'm gonna
just be okay. And I just tried to block the
dream out mm and I really thought that's what it
was gonna be. And I remember, and I've told the
story so many times, but this is the truth. There
was a it felt like an earthquake hit Greensboro one morning,
(10:18):
and I was in the bed and the bed shook
and it woke me up. And I heard a voice
that down there like thunder, and he said, this is
not the life I planned for you.
Speaker 3 (10:27):
And I got very scared. I got on my knees.
Speaker 2 (10:29):
I saw a printing. I said, okay, now, Lord, if
this you speaking to me, yeah, I need you to
show me a sign today.
Speaker 3 (10:36):
And if not, i'm'a tell my.
Speaker 2 (10:37):
Husband take me to the hospital. Cause it was the
scariest thing I ever experienced. And later that day we
were on our way to the mall, me and my
husband and my daughter, and on the radio, the uh
DJ came on and he was like, hey, this bust
of brown. I got a new TV show on the
WB network and I'm holding auditions looking for a female
co host and girl.
Speaker 3 (10:55):
I almost lost it cause.
Speaker 2 (10:57):
It ain't never been no auditions in and so I
ended up going to the audition. I told my husband
that's my sign, because I know he thought I was
crazy afoughter.
Speaker 3 (11:05):
I told him what happened.
Speaker 2 (11:06):
I was like, I prayed for a sign, though, so
don't where he gonna show me a sign. And we
went to the audition and I ended up looking that
that was my first audition I'd ever had for like television.
I had done theater and things, but never anything like that.
And that's the thing that made me start dreaming again
because I really had convinced myself that I done got married.
Speaker 3 (11:25):
Now I got a child, like I gotta, you know.
Speaker 2 (11:28):
Just be traditional, right, And I started doing you know,
hosting and producing on television. I started back doing theater
and that fire started to burn inside again. And I
did that for like a year or two. In North Carolina.
I told my husband, I said it's time to move
to LA now. And he was like, wait a minute.
You know, we got these little babies, little He was like, uh,
(11:50):
we got this house, we got responsibilities. I was like,
I know, but I don't heard the voice of the Lord.
Something is waiting on me out there, and I got
to go. And then I Mamaya, I was doing all
these things, but I won't making a whole lot of money.
I was making them thirty thousand dollars a year, and
I was like, I can go, and we can. I
can be by coastal with what money. I don't know, okay,
but in my mind, but you know what, in my mind, I.
Speaker 3 (12:14):
Heard a word and he was like, no, we ain't
gonna do that. Saved up, and then we ended up
moving to La Yeah.
Speaker 2 (12:22):
Then about eight months later we moved and I've been
pursuing it ever since.
Speaker 3 (12:26):
And my husband has been my biggest support system, my
biggest you know, cheerleader.
Speaker 2 (12:31):
Even though he never saw the visions that I saw,
you know, I would dream about things, I would see things,
and I would tell him I was like, God showed
me this, I'm gonna do this, this and this, and
he'd be like, okay, bae.
Speaker 3 (12:41):
All right, I'm gonna go to work whatever. You you know.
Speaker 2 (12:45):
He always say he never believed in the visions. He
only believed in me. So it was just you know.
I think that's the reason I was able to succeed
is because my husband was not in the business. He's
not a big dreamer. He is one plus one because
too you go to work and you get a check.
That's how he thinks.
Speaker 1 (13:03):
And that's how you're gonna make your money.
Speaker 3 (13:04):
That's right.
Speaker 2 (13:05):
And so while I was out dreaming big and having
a job for five days and not a job and
being you know, all the things, he was consistently working
and it afforded me the ability to be abless with
my dreams.
Speaker 1 (13:16):
So ooh, you guys married the right person.
Speaker 3 (13:19):
Maneah oh, honey, God knows them for me.
Speaker 1 (13:21):
That is beautiful. When I think of choosing joy, I
think of choosing wellness. Here's a word from our sponsor.
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(13:41):
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These products at ali dot com or Retailer's Nation, Why
that's O L l Y dot com. Growing up in
(14:05):
this sort of entertainment industry and in church, it has
felt like, oh, once you have a kid, life is over.
You're gonna have to defer.
Speaker 3 (14:14):
And that's the Southern life too, that's the Southern in tellent.
Speaker 1 (14:17):
That's what And so it doesn't. And I was never
the person that was like, oh, I can't wait to
have kids. I don't know if you were, if you
were like, oh, I'm ready to have kids.
Speaker 2 (14:25):
Yeah, I'm from the South, so you know, we just
h early if you can have them. If you're woman
is furred, it's like, have some children.
Speaker 3 (14:39):
That's three, you got kids. Yeah, I'll be looking at
my daughter now, who's twenty three. I raised here.
Speaker 2 (14:46):
Yeah, I'd be like, lord knows, ain't nowhere in the
word that baby could have no children and the husband
right now right now?
Speaker 3 (14:52):
Nothing? Yeah?
Speaker 1 (14:53):
Yeah, yeah, that's really no.
Speaker 3 (14:56):
Yeah yeah.
Speaker 1 (14:58):
Look. But I also feel like because in my mind
growing up that way, I knew this was what I
wanted to do. I knew I wanted to be an
actor since I was a little girl. It was my
parents used to take us to the movies every weekend
we do double features. Probably saw a lot of things
we shouldn't have seen, you know, just like thankst the
(15:18):
movies and you know all the things was expanding.
Speaker 3 (15:23):
Ye a theatrical palette. It's TV magic, that's it.
Speaker 1 (15:31):
And so I knew that was what I wanted. I
knew that was my goal. And I just knew if
I have if I get married too soon, or if
I have a kid too soon, it's going to deter
my goal, my dream, my career. And so I had
(15:51):
like a timeline. Let's say, God, don't work off your timeline, right,
that doesn't happen. Do you feel like motherhood has stretched
you in a way that has been beneficial for your
dreams and desires?
Speaker 2 (16:07):
Absolutely? Motherhood slowed me down because I am such a
free spirit.
Speaker 3 (16:14):
Like when I say, I moved to California and I
was staying in the room.
Speaker 2 (16:17):
Originally I got accepted in Columbia College in Chicago, right.
Speaker 3 (16:22):
And so I was supposed to be going to school
because let me let me back up. So I went
to school.
Speaker 2 (16:26):
When I first graduated from High School International Fine Arts
in Miami, I was studying fashion design right because I
used to make clothes, okay, and so.
Speaker 3 (16:35):
I know it's a lot. So okay.
Speaker 2 (16:43):
I was going to school because my great great aunt
was like the town seamstress that you know, made the
clothes and stuff.
Speaker 3 (16:48):
And I grew up watching her and doing the things.
Speaker 2 (16:50):
And so my mama was like, well, I know, you know,
you want to be an actor, but we don't know
no actors.
Speaker 3 (16:55):
And she wasn't trying to stop me from pursuit.
Speaker 2 (16:57):
She was just like, well, maybe you should go for
fashion and then you can use that to help you
pursue your dreams or fall back on it. So I thought, well,
maybe that's a good idea. So I went to school
in Miami. Therefore, that first time that I remember waking
up in the middle of the night and I was like,
I'm supposed to be performing. I gotta get out of
here to call my daddy. It was a Wednesday, one
in the morning. Probably scared the life out of him. Yeah,
walk him up, I said, Daddy, I'm wasting your money
(17:19):
and you to come get me. That was a Wednesday night.
He beat me up on Saturday morning in Miami, fourteen
hour drive. Now, now Miami first one go to college
and my family and I said that I'm so sorry
I'm quitting, but I gotta go and figure out what
this thing is inside of me.
Speaker 3 (17:32):
Right.
Speaker 2 (17:33):
So I applied to Columbia College in Chicago because it's
performing arts, and it went out there that April, like
in the spring to you know, beauty school and stuff.
That's how they get you. Chicago get you in the
spring time. You come out there, it's like, oh, this
is beautiful, wink.
Speaker 1 (17:46):
Winter is gonna smack your like a rag guy.
Speaker 2 (17:51):
So I had applied to the school, and two weeks
before it was time for me to go that Auguds,
they sent me a letter saying that my financial aid
had been done because of the outstanding financial aid I
had in Miami.
Speaker 3 (18:04):
And my dad and mom was like, we ain't got
no more money. We would you want to?
Speaker 2 (18:09):
So I was like, Mama, you still got that lady
that said that she had a room in California.
Speaker 3 (18:15):
You think she'll let me rent a room?
Speaker 2 (18:16):
And Mama was like, I guess I called it lady.
And I was going in a week like just okay,
I'm just go to California. I'm gonna just go make it.
Speaker 3 (18:24):
I ain't asked. So if you in Los Angeles or
you in Hollywood. I didn't care. I just was like,
I'm gonna go right, I'm not.
Speaker 1 (18:32):
So it's so you have always sounds like you've always
been like, okay, well what's the solution?
Speaker 3 (18:37):
Yeah, okay.
Speaker 2 (18:39):
I'm a big dreamer and I just really believe in like, oh,
what's gonna be gonna be right? But I used to
just just up and go. It didn't ever matter. I
ain't have nobody to think about it but myself. So
when I had my daughter, it changed how I thought.
Now I had to have somebody to be responsible for.
That also made me look myself and say, okay, I
(19:00):
want to make sure that I'm making the right decision
for me and my daughter, you know. And then of
course with my husband's my partner. So having kids really
made me think differently. I was more smarter with my choices.
Speaker 3 (19:13):
But it also.
Speaker 2 (19:16):
Developed work inside of me as an actor because now
it's like, I'm not acting like a mama. Yeah yeah, yeah,
I can give you a look that only a mama
can give that I know what that looked mean, absolutely right.
Speaker 3 (19:27):
I mean I remember my mama giving me the looks.
Speaker 2 (19:29):
It.
Speaker 3 (19:29):
Now it's like I lived this like yeah, what I'm saying,
like you'd be like, oh, girls, sit down somewhere right.
Speaker 2 (19:36):
Yeah, So all of these things actually made me better,
I feel like, but it also just made me appreciate
like success more because I was able to do it
while mothering. Working while waiting has been the most amazing
thing for me. Like I worked as a mother, I
worked as a wife. I worked like odd jobs and
(19:57):
all the things while waiting for success.
Speaker 3 (19:59):
To come and still pursuing it.
Speaker 2 (20:02):
And so I think it all plays a role with
who I am. Yeah, you know, empathy and care and
being patient. Yeah, my children taught me that, So I
absolutely love it. I always tell people because I have
a lot of friends in the industry, Yeah, who are
you know women who are single and don't have children,
And there are women of certain ages who may never
have children now, and so I always tell them as
(20:25):
they share with me, like it's our job to tell
younger women, don't think you have to have a certain
accomplishment before you have children or before you settle down
and still have it all.
Speaker 1 (20:39):
So motherhood has expanded you in ways that absolutely lend
to your career and how you can approach different characters.
Do you feel like you would change anything about how
it happened.
Speaker 3 (20:57):
No, it was supposed to be this way. Yeah, you know.
Speaker 2 (21:02):
I think about like, you know, I lost my mother early,
and I was in my twenties, but I was out here,
and I often be like, God, I show wish that
I had accomplished, you know, some of the things I've
accomplished while she was here. Yeah, but then I realized
that I wouldn't have accomplished them if she was here. YM.
Speaker 3 (21:22):
The loss of her changed me. It shifted me.
Speaker 2 (21:27):
It made me who I am, which is part of
the reason why I'm successful.
Speaker 1 (21:31):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (21:31):
Right, So I think we all have a assignment MM.
And my mama knew her assignment, and her assignment was
to be here for fifty one years and to leave
this everlasting love with me. M but also her faith
and her grace and her compassion for people. She left
that with me so that I could carry that on.
(21:54):
If she was still here, I wouldn't be trying to
carry that, yeah, right. And so that's what I feel
that people see and feel when they encounter me.
Speaker 3 (22:02):
Yeah, And so I wouldn't change it. I miss her, yeah,
you know, but that was her assignment, and so I
now I'm just gonna be mine.
Speaker 1 (22:11):
Is there anything that you would say to young not
just women, but young people, you know this day and age,
you know, with dreams, with goals and feeling like there's
so many no's and it's so difficult and how do
I get seen? And is this really? There are so
(22:32):
many times what my husband can tell you, I go
back and forth, like maybe God didn't call me to
do this, Maybe there's something else I'm supposed to be
doing right, you know, But what is the thing that
you can say that is your rock, That that that
cornerstone that as long as I got this, I can
keep choosing and I can keep moving forward with this joy.
Speaker 2 (22:56):
I think that little voice inside right thing that pushes
me every day, I'm like, hmmm, when that voice inside
that tells you to perform, or that you have a
great idea, or that you should go left instead of right, whatever,
that little voice that we all have, listen to that
(23:16):
and then the moment that it goes silent, don't move
wait right, Yeah, Like that's my thing, Like, don't go
against it because most times that's when we're now we're
just trying to be in control. Yeah, But knowing that
who's in complete control. Yeah right, yeah, then we're being obedient. Yeah,
and that's that's the biggest thing that changed my life,
(23:36):
is obedience, because I used to always think I was
in control.
Speaker 3 (23:39):
Oh I'm gonna do it. Oh I'm doing this.
Speaker 2 (23:41):
Oh I'm doing that, and I'm like, I won't do
nothing but cutting up right.
Speaker 3 (23:45):
I mean I was doing some things.
Speaker 2 (23:46):
But the moment I surrendered, yeah, and became obedient, and
I started to listen to the voice and trust God
and really try to walk in an obedient way and
quiet the noise of people, because the little voice ain't people.
Mm hmm, yeah, because a lot of times we listen
to people. Yeah, that'll be messing us up. Yeah, right
now he can send people. Yeah, but the outside noise,
(24:08):
especially the people who ain't doing what you're trying to do.
But they swear they know, you know those people are
they don't. Don't listen to that noise and just trust
that this thing that lives inside of you is there
for a reason.
Speaker 1 (24:23):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (24:23):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (24:25):
What was that moment that you became very obedient.
Speaker 3 (24:29):
After sickness, right or during sickness when.
Speaker 2 (24:31):
I'd always been like trying to be obedient. Okay, do
what I'm gonna do it, but then I still do
it my way or whatever I had hit or miss.
Speaker 3 (24:40):
You know, he was working on it for a long time.
You know, you grew up in the church.
Speaker 2 (24:44):
You think you know something that you like, I need
to know you for myself, right, I had to do
a lot of unlearning. Yeah, And so the moment for
me was in sickness, right because I was sick for
a year and a half.
Speaker 3 (24:58):
Thought I was gonna die. I did not know what
was wrong with me, right, Yeah, And.
Speaker 2 (25:01):
So I had been praying, like God, please heal me,
Please heal me, Like Lord, I want to see forty,
like I wanna see thirty nine. Like I was just praying, God,
please heal me. And I realized I was just habitually praying.
I won't praying because I meant it. I was just
praying out to have it. And I really didn't believe
it anymore. And so I was like I had to
check myself. And I was like, okay, Lord and I
(25:23):
I talk about this often. I had not come into
Jesus moment in my bathroom. And I went in the
bathroom and I was in the mirror liquor at myself
and I was like, Okay, Lord.
Speaker 3 (25:31):
If you heal me, you can have me mm.
Speaker 2 (25:34):
And that meant I can't live my life my way
no more. Yeah, I can only live it the way
you have designed me and created me to live it.
And in that moment, I wasn't healed in that moment,
but something shifted and said, And from that day on
I have intentionally been living an obedient life. And that's
(25:54):
been almost eight years ago, and my life began to
change after that.
Speaker 1 (26:00):
Living obedience, continuously choosing joy and listening to that little
voice that God has put inside of all of us
has led you to this beautiful sure complicated because life
is full of complications, but a beautiful journey. Dah, thank
(26:26):
you so much for sharing.
Speaker 3 (26:27):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (26:28):
Okay, I'm like you, No, you don't understand you. You
really are my best friends. I guess what it is.
We're gonna play a game real quick. Where are the chalkboards?
Would you choose a good? And I'm talking about one
of those places where they get in when you lay
down in that wash bowl, it's almost euphoric. They are scratching,
(26:51):
they are all the things. Would you choose a good?
Deep plans of Donna or a nice deep tissue massage
that's gonna just give you the relaxation that you need.
Speaker 2 (27:03):
And I'm putting this on yeah okay.
Speaker 1 (27:11):
Okay, okay, A quiet moment with yourself or a laughter
with loved ones which feeds your joy more on a
hard day. A quiet moment with yourself or laughter with
loved ones. I feel like I know what you're gonna say. Okay, ooh,
I like this one. Okay. What has taught you more
(27:33):
in the long run? Learning the hard way or trusting
your intuition? Okay, Now tell me if this makes sense,
because I feel like I feel like it does, and
I really really want to know how you feel about this.
Is the fear of regret something that pushes you to
(27:56):
do everything you desire or is it something that's sort
of paralyzed as this you.
Speaker 2 (28:02):
Mm hmm.
Speaker 1 (28:11):
What's more valuable to you right now? Work that stretches
you or work that's familiar to you? Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.
Speaker 3 (28:27):
Let's see if we twins are not.
Speaker 1 (28:29):
You know, I feel like I feel like we're you
know what, no matter what that says, no matter what
that says our best friends, We've already shaken on it like.
Speaker 3 (28:39):
It is what it is? Will we turn at the
same time? Yes, okay, okay, let's see.
Speaker 1 (28:47):
Oh okay, okay, okay.
Speaker 2 (28:49):
We almost have the exact answers. Oh my god, you
put both put both in.
Speaker 3 (28:56):
I say, interesting.
Speaker 1 (28:59):
Okay, So there's Do you ever have a fear.
Speaker 2 (29:03):
Of regret or do you know it's just it's just
not part of I gotta be in a moment and
what's gonna happen is gonna happen. Yeah, what's gonna happen
is gonna it's gonna be what it's gonna be.
Speaker 1 (29:19):
On Yes, Oh okay, I love you so much. I
love when you came in. I knew you were happy
and you were having a wonderful day. But I hope
you leave feeling even better.
Speaker 3 (29:30):
I feel amazing.
Speaker 1 (29:31):
I love thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you,
thank you. Oh my god, thank.
Speaker 3 (29:36):
You so much.
Speaker 1 (29:37):
I love you. Hi. It's Deever Joy Winings Williams. Thank
you so much for watching Choosing Joy, our guest, the delightful.
My new best friend, Tabitha Brown gave us all of
the wisdom. So let me know what your takeaways are.
I'm certainly running with trusting that that that God has
given me that intuition, and believing that all the dream
(30:00):
that I have are still within my reach. So let
me know what you think, and hit that leg button
and subscribe and keep choosing joy m
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