Choosing to Stay

 Avoidant Attachment – The Pull to Withdraw

In this episode, we explore the core traits, beliefs, and relationship patterns of dismissive/avoidant attachment — a style often rooted in early experiences where emotional needs were minimized or dismissed. You’ll learn how these protective strategies form, the impact they can have on intimacy, and practical steps to move toward secure, balanced connection without losing your independenc...

In this episode unpack anxious attachment — how inconsistent caregiving can lead to fear of rejection, hypervigilance, and dependency in relationships. Discussing how betrayal may amplify these patterns, what it looks like in adult relationships, and practical steps for moving toward secure connection.

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We’re here to support couples healing from infidelity and betrayal, offering encouragement, practical skills...

In this episode of Choosing to Stay, certified relational and recovery coaches Halle Roddick and Stephanie Hamby continue their multi-part series on attachment styles, focusing on secure attachment — what it looks like, how it develops, and why it’s a vital goal after infidelity and betrayal.

They explore:

• What attachment theory is and the four main styles (secure, anxious, avoidant, disorganized)
  

• How secure attachment shows up in...
  

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Choosing to Stay After Infidelity and Betrayal

The patterns we learned in childhood often become the lens through which we respond to betrayal. In this episode, we explore how your family of origin shapes the way you love, trust, and handle conflict—and why recognizing these patterns is essential for healing. From attachment styles to emotional suppression, we unpack common dynamics that show up after betra...

After betrayal, healing isn’t about rushing to “get over it”—it’s about honoring what happened and who you’re becoming.

In this episode, we walk through the transformation from victim to survivor to thriver—not as a formula, but as a compassionate roadmap for reclaiming your peace, your power, and your partnership (if you choose to stay).

You’ll learn:

• What each phase really looks and feels like—emotionally, relationally, and soma...

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Betrayal doesn’t just damage trust—it disrupts the very foundation of fairness and emotional safety in a relationship. In today’s episode of Choosing to Stay After Infidelity and Betrayal, Hali and Stephanie unpack a critical truth that many couples overlook in the early stages of healing: true recovery begins when the betraying partner takes the lead.This episode explores why betrayal is not just a ...

 In this episode of Choosing to Stay, Hali welcomes Stephen Thomas, a seasoned sexual recovery coach who brings years of experience and a deeply personal understanding of the recovery journey. Stephen specializes in helping men move beyond behavior-focused sobriety by adopting a partner-sensitive lens—one that centers empathy, honesty, and emotional connection.

Together, they unpack why true recovery must include the betrayed partne...

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​​Shame Resilience in Recovery with Joseph McKinley In this episode of Choosing to Stay, we sit down with coach Joseph McKinley to talk about the role of shame in recovery and relational repair. We explore the difference between shame and guilt, how shame shows up in relationships, and why vulnerability and ownership are key to healing. Joseph shares tools, insights from his coaching work, and personal refle...

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Safety Starts Within Reclaiming Internal Grounding After Betrayal

When betrayal shatters your world, safety feels lost. In this episode, we explore how true safety begins within, not in someone else's behavior. Whether you’re the one healing or the one working to rebuild trust, internal grounding is key

We’re here to support couples healing from infidelity and betrayal, offering encouragement, practical skills...

 In this episode, we explore how betrayal trauma impacts the nervous system and what it truly means to feel safe again in a relationship. If you or your partner have been affected by betrayal—whether through infidelity, secrecy, or other trust ruptures—this conversation will help you understand why emotional reactions are not just “drama,” but deeply rooted in trauma physiology.

We’ll talk about what happens in the body after betray...

In this deeply insightful episode, we welcome our newest coaching colleague at Choose Recovery Services, Isy Williams, for a conversation that touches the heart of every betrayed partner’s healing journey: rediscovering the self after the deep shattering of betrayal.

Together, we explore the often invisible yet powerful knowing that something is off—even before the truth is revealed—and the role that instinct and intuition play when...

💔 Episode Summary:This episode will help you understand what love bombing really is, how it shows up in relationships after betrayal, and why it can be a form of manipulation or emotional abuse.

✅ What love bombing is and what it isn't

✅ How to distinguish between genuine connection and manipulative intensity

✅ The red flags that indicate love bombing is occurring

✅ How it plays out in the betrayal and recovery cycle

✅ Why it f...

In This Episode: We explore what it really means to let your spouse know you beyond surface communication and into emotional truth. We’ll talk about the difference between empathy and vulnerability, how stuffing emotions can quietly stall your repair. The Importance of vulnerability that real connection can’t happen without it.

What You’ll Learn:

• How your nervous system tries to protect you—and what healing asks instead

• Why emotio...

In this powerful episode, Hali Roderick and Luke Gordon unpack three of the most common myths that keep men stuck and prevent relationships from truly healing after betrayal. Whether you're early in your recovery journey or have been doing the work for a while, these insights will help you shift from unintentional harm to intentional healing.

We also introduce the Help Her Heal Intensive for men, happening this July in Spani...

Triggers Aren’t Setbacks — They’re Invitations to Heal

In this powerful episode, we dive deep into what happens when a betrayed spouse is triggered — especially when the trigger seems irrational or unrelated to the present moment. If you're the partner who has caused the betrayal, it can be confusing and overwhelming to understand these reactions. But how you respond in those moments matters more than you might realize.

We’ll explore...

📝 Show Notes: In this powerful and deeply honest episode, we’re exploring what it means to choose to stay in a relationship after betrayal—even when your spouse isn’t actively participating in the healing process.

If you’ve found yourself in a place where you're committed to working through the pain, even though your partner isn’t fully engaged, this episode is for you.

We’re not here to sugarcoat the journey—but to honor it. Stayin...

 In this episode of Choosing To Stay, we explore one of the most important—and often overlooked—skills in relational recovery after betrayal: seeking to understand.

Seeking to understand isn’t about agreeing or even seeing things the same way. It’s about being present, seeking to understand, and respecting your partner’s experience—even when it differs from your own. We dive into what active listening actually looks like, why it can...

In this episode of Choosing to Stay After Infidelity and Betrayal, we dive deep into one of the most challenging aspects of healing after betrayal: breaking the cycle of unhealthy communication patterns. Infidelity can fracture not only trust but the way we communicate with our partners, often leading to constant arguments, defensiveness, and a lack of resolution. But it’s possible to step out of these destructive cycles and create...

Thank you for tuning in! In this episode, Stephanie Lynn explores a unique healing tool—rhythmic expression using the ancient frame drum. Stephanie shares how this somatic practice helps betrayed partners process grief, anger, and overwhelm when words fall short. We talk about how drumming regulates the nervous system, reconnects the body, and gives voice to unspoken pain—all within a safe, guided space.

Stephanie Lynn APSATS-c,...