July 25, 2025 • 47 mins
It's the return of one of the most compelling new voices in Christian music, Ben Fuller. He'll be in the studio to sing some new songs from his album, Walk Through Fire. His story is one of addiction and loss, then a radical change only Jesus can accomplish. If you're struggling to overcome something holding you back, or you know someone who is, don't miss Ben Fuller on Chris Fabry Live.
Featured resource:
Walk Through Fire by Ben Fuller
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Drive Through the Bible by Colin S. Smith
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
S1 (00:05):
He has an unmistakable voice that springs from the rich
soil of some of the pain and struggles of his life,
struggles that led him down a winding road that eventually
led him away from addiction and an aimless journey straight
to the heart of God. Today at the radio backyard Fence,
we welcome back singer songwriter Ben Fuller. Since he was
(00:26):
with us last, he sung at the Grand Ole Opry.
He's traveled with Casting Crowns and Zach Williams and Big
Daddy Weave and many others. And his new album came
out in June. It's called Walk Through Fire. And he's
in the studio with us today, and he's going to
play and sing some songs that I guarantee you will
encourage your heart wherever you are, in whatever situation you're
(00:48):
in today. Ben Fuller, straight ahead on Chris Fabry live
the program from the heart to the heart for the heart.
Our program is recorded today. Don't call us. Let me
thank our team. Ryan McConaughey doing all things technical with
help from Chris Seeger. Tricia is in the chair. And
since it's Friday. That's right. It's time for the fabulous
Favori Friday. Sy. Here's what it does one. We oxygenate
(01:08):
your blood. Two, we get your endorphins going. Three, we
raise your serotonin level. Four we promote lymphatic drainage, and
we stimulate your parasympathetic system. That's why we call it
the five love languages. We also stimulate your vagus nerve.
We help you release acetylcholine. And don't you dare forget
what it does to cortisol dissipation. Taken four seconds of
(01:30):
air through your nose right now. Hold it for seconds,
and then as you release that air through your mouth,
push on the left side of your ribcage to get
rid of all that bad carbon dioxide. Give a sigh today,
for those who grew up on a dairy farm in
Vermont and dreamed of singing country songs, really, for anyone
who had a dream of doing something they felt like
they were made to do, that sprang from that deep
(01:52):
pool inside that said, this is me, this is who
I am. And along the way to getting where they
wanted to go, go. They got sidetracked, went a little
off course, spiraled a bit, and found the hound of
Heaven was after them. The unrelenting coming for you Savior
who loves chasing rebels down. That's how Ben put it
in one of his songs today, a Ben Fuller sigh.
(02:13):
All rights reserved. Void where prohibited. Ah, man. Welcome back.
What did you think of that?
S2 (02:21):
That was unbelievable. Do we have, like, a round of
applause with people in the background going yay!
S1 (02:30):
It is so good to have you back. We had
you on like, two years ago, and we have played
that program just about every third day. Chris. We have
it that we played it, played it, played it. Yeah.
Because it's so good.
S2 (02:42):
Thank you Chris. That was amazing. Seriously, I got lost
somewhere with my hand on my ribcage pressing out the
bad carbon dioxide. Anyway, Lord, fill my lungs up.
S1 (02:54):
We had a we had a caller who was I
think she was a physical therapist or a trainer. And
she said, you know, the the, the carbon dioxide gets
in the left side. So when you when you say
press on that. And so I don't know if it's true,
but it sounds true. You know. So I'm.
S2 (03:09):
Going.
S1 (03:09):
To.
S2 (03:09):
Go with somebody asked me I'm going to share them
that I heard it from Chris. So anyway.
S1 (03:14):
We are catching up with you in the middle of
you hitting the road as we record this today. Yeah.
When you prepare for a tour like this, what are
you hoping happens in all the places that you're going
to go? What are you expecting?
S2 (03:26):
A man can plan in his heart, but only God
determines his steps. I have tried to plan time and
time and time again. And, um. It's always his. It's
always his plan. It's always his timing. It's always his things.
And and, um, so I try to just empty myself,
honestly and just go, okay, Lord, I don't know what's next.
(03:49):
I have no idea. I didn't plan on having a
flat tire on my way to the studio this morning,
but but you know what? I got to stop, And
I literally was on my knee airing up this tire
that had £12 of pressure in it and up to
£40 right to the proper psi. And I thought to myself,
I am nothing without his breath in my lungs. And
(04:09):
I was just like, thank you Lord, for showing me
that because I'm always in such a hurry. You know,
there's always so many people that are just honking and
beeping and speeding and and so it was like that
little stop for me this morning on the way in
was just like, okay, take a deep breath. And that
I'm nothing without him. So that's that's what I try
(04:31):
to do when I go out on tour, when I'm
out before a show, uh, before for real. I hate
to call them shows because this is really my life
on display. And so it's like, okay, Lord, I, apart
from Christ, my flesh can do no good, is what
Paul said. I've realized that. How can I invite you
into my everything and let it be yours?
S1 (04:50):
Isn't it interesting how in the middle he shows up
in the middle of real life when we've got something planned,
you know, we're going in a different direction or this
is where our heart is. And he he pulled through
the glitches, through the struggles. He pulls us back to him.
S2 (05:03):
Yes. And I think that that's where the peace of
the Lord comes in. Also, that peace that surpasses all understanding.
Because I was like starting to to utter, um, you know,
just just junk under my breath as I'm, as I'm,
as I'm pulling into this gas station like, oh, I'm
going to be late. They're going to be mad. I'm
going to be, oh, I've got no time for this.
What are you doing? What are you. And I'm airing
(05:26):
this up. And that's all of a sudden, like, the
Holy Spirit just hit me and was just like, are you.
Are you sure about all that? Like, I've actually stopped
you for a reason this morning to to let you
realize that it's me and not you. And so I'm
just I'm grateful for those moments that that we can,
you know, realize that, hey, it's him and not us.
And the slowdowns. There's a lot of beautiful things that
(05:47):
happen in the slowdowns. So.
S1 (05:49):
So it's not the circumstance, it's the response to that.
That's what he's getting to. So we have the opportunity
to turn on a dime. In a sense, it turns
spiritually to him. And there's a song on this new
album with that word. Can you tell us about that
and sing that for us?
S2 (06:06):
Yeah, yeah. This, um, this song, you know, I, I
had been going through, um, a relationship and, um, it
ended and I was ready to go back to the
14.5 years of addiction that I lived with and in, um,
that I wanted to, to, um, to go back to
(06:27):
drinking again. I wanted to go back to those instant comforts,
those things that gave me, um, that that filled me
up temporarily. And I realized after everything that Jesus has
done for me, like, I can't, I can't go back.
That he's filled that hole in my heart. And so that, like,
little temporary thought of I want to go back was
just instantly filled with, um, I've got nowhere to turn
(06:50):
but Jesus. Turns out I'm not as strong.
S3 (07:16):
As I thought. That's when I learned that you are.
When I'm weak, you are strong. When I fall short,
you go on and on. When I run. Will chase
(07:38):
me down. Till I've got nowhere to turn. But Jesus. Worship.
(08:23):
Turns out I've never had nothing to prove. So I
don't have nothing to fear. When I run, I can't
run long. I've got. Jesus. Your turn to speak. Break
(09:19):
every chain off of me. It's your turn to be right.
Your turn to redeem. Your turn to take all these
burdens from me. Cause it's my turn to heal. My
turn to believe. My turn to let go. And finally
(09:39):
my turn to be loved. My turn to be seen.
It's my turn to let you be the Savior. I need.
When I've got nowhere to turn. I turn it all over.
(10:26):
All over.
S1 (10:37):
Straight from the heart. The music of Ben Fuller today.
And if you go to Chris fabry.org, you'll see the
new album that these songs are coming from, Walk Through fire.
If you have a chance to see and hear Ben
in person, do it. We have a link to his
website fabriclive. More music from the heart straight ahead on
(10:57):
Moody Radio.
S3 (11:26):
Blisters on my soul. They might come, but it wouldn't
come to me. If it was up to me. The
grace that changed my life. Thank God I'm not the
one in charge of this. Know how good your plans
(11:46):
could be if it was up to me.
S4 (11:50):
This is Chris Fabry.
S1 (11:51):
Live on Moody Radio. Thank you so much for joining us.
It's so fun to sit down with Ben Fuller. He
is in the studio. I am in Tucson, Arizona, but
we can see each other. So it's a it's a
cool thing. Uh. Walk Through Fire is our featured resource.
You're hearing music from the album as we go in
and out of the program and then live in the studio,
(12:12):
I have all these questions that are running around my
mind from two years ago, because two years ago you
came and you said, yeah, I'm kind of I don't
know if it was on the air or off the air,
but I'm kind of serious about this girl. And then
you just said, yeah, I had this breakup. Yeah. And
it's like, that's where the seeds of some really great
songs come from. The heartbreak. Right? Yeah. Um, so you
(12:35):
don't have to tell me anything that you don't want,
that you don't want to tell me. But it sounds
to me like, uh, God is doing something inside of
your heart with the cracks and the fissures that you're
going through relationally. Is that true?
S2 (12:50):
Yeah, it's absolutely true. Yeah, I, I realized, you know,
some of the things it's it's just crazy. Um, about myself,
God has just been working so mightily on me and
realizing that, um, I run when things get bad and
when there's a problem, when there's an issue. You know,
I just literally read Jonah last night laying in bed,
and I was just I was I was like, he's like, nope.
(13:11):
I'm actually I'm going to hop a ship. I'm out
of here. Um, by God, I want nothing to do
with going to the place that you want to bring me. And, um,
there's so many times in my life recently that, um,
I can relate to all that, but, yeah, I again,
I thought I had a plan in my life. I
was like, yeah, yeah, this this sounds great, looks great.
It's going to be great. And God was like, but
(13:32):
this isn't what I have for you. And I took
it so hard. And, um, there's some things in my
past just from running from my dad, from running when
things got bad at home. Um, that that are coming
out in me. Six years later, after saying yes to Jesus,
I'm realizing a lot of this stuff is still. He's
like opening up these cracks and fissures in my heart.
(13:53):
And he's just like, I need to take that out.
I also need to take that out, and I need
to take that out. And we're going to stitch that
back up. I'm going to stitch that back up, you know.
And so it's been really, really powerful. But yeah, I,
I my heart was broke. I mean I and I
literally realized that I had nowhere to turn but Jesus.
S1 (14:10):
You know, uh, and I'm down the road 25 or
a little more years than you. But here's the thing
that I keep coming back to, and that is, uh,
the work that God is doing in you late 30s.
He's still doing in me. I'm learning. I'm seeing things
from my childhood that are bubbling back up to me.
It's like, why? Why is that coming back here? Why?
(14:32):
Why am I being controlled by that thing way back there?
You know, that happened to me. And it's a choice.
It's a grace for God to let you see it,
I think. Don't you?
S2 (14:44):
Yeah, I do too. And and the question is, are
you going to give it to him? Are you going
to turn that over, or are you going to hand
it over? And a lot of times it's like I
saw it and was like, man, I don't want to
do this anymore. And I think we have that choice
to to ask the Lord. It's like, well, you come in,
will you heal this then will you take this then?
Thank you for showing me that. Help me not do
that again. You know, and so many times I find
(15:06):
myself in similar situations of wanting to run. And, um,
it seems to be less and less, though, almost like
it was with the alcohol of. Just like he showed
me more and more how much he loves me, but
also to just go to him first, you know, come
to me, all ye who are weary. You know, it's like,
don't forget to run to me with this. And, um,
(15:27):
you know, I'm just I'm kind of thick headed and
a lot of things, and and I'm like, I'm a man.
I can handle this, I can. I'm strong, I'm tough.
I can, you know? And it's like, yeah, right. No
I'm not. I'm a big. And then I'm down on
my knees bawling like a little baby. I'm like, I'm
actually not. Help me Lord. So yeah, it's been cool
to watch.
S1 (15:46):
It's interesting in your music and in your lyrics how
much this comes up, how much the running is or
going down the wrong path. And even in that last song, turn,
chase me down. You know, the hound of heaven that's
coming after you. That's a theme in your life that
it just comes up naturally, doesn't it?
S2 (16:05):
Yeah. And I don't know. I mean, I just I
really realized that, um, you know, Paul said I'd like
to die and be with my savior. Um, but it's
to your benefit, uh, that I stay here and preach
the gospel in hopes to save some. And so it's
like I realized that I've been saved. What I've been
saved from. And, um. And I ran my whole life,
(16:27):
you know. And so to be able to to sing
about it, to be able to talk about it. And
but now to be able to have an answer, you know,
for it all and just say, hey, it's Jesus who
I was looking for, who I was running for, and
maybe who I was running from. And a lot of
instances I was like, I don't want to face that.
(16:47):
I don't want to face him, you know? Um, so.
S1 (16:51):
Even those who've been walking the trail, though, will have
these not a capital R run, but a small R,
you know. Well, just a little detour.
S2 (16:59):
Yeah. Is the grass greener on the other side? Exactly.
And then I think when you get there, it's like.
That's why I pray for the consequences, Chris. And I
think it's cool because the Lord has shown me. And
it might sound weird, but I'm like, Lord, will you
show me what happens if I do drink 12 beers? Like, Lord,
will you show me? Um, if I do try to
(17:20):
to to, you know, message this girl or do these
things or whatever, it's like, will you show me the
end result of that stuff? If I'm walking in my
flesh and I'm trying to do things, I'm like, Will
you show me what happens? Um. And that literally every
time I get out there, the grass is not greener
on the other side. God has put people in my
life with that have that have been so blessed with
(17:41):
lots of money and, and properties and, and all kinds
of stuff. And they've told me the same thing. They're like, well,
we thought this might fix, but it didn't. We thought
that this would, but it didn't. And so it's like, man,
we the only one is Jesus. And so they've had
to come back down and and meet him. You know.
S1 (17:59):
You can see that, uh, even recently with Christian musicians
and pastors and leaders and others who have fallen, that's,
you know, who didn't want to, but they did. Yeah. Uh,
or they made these choices that led to other choices
that led to other choices. And that is the logical
conclusion every time when you go down that wrong path.
S2 (18:19):
Yeah. Shame is a shame is an awful thing. And
once you get into a spiral of feeling that way and, um,
that's why, you know, last week I, um, I was
talking to my band, and I've got 11 guys, um,
that have been out on the road, and it's just
it's been so beautiful and amazing, but it's like, man,
I need you. That's why it's so important to surround
(18:41):
yourself with people that love Jesus more than you. And
it's like, man, I need you guys to hold me accountable.
I need you guys to check in on me. I
need you guys to see when I'm having a bad day,
when I'm having a good day, to see that I'm
human and to remind me who my God is, who
my Savior is, and that I can run to him
with all that stuff. And so a lot of times,
you know, I'll have tough conversations with my guys because
(19:03):
it's like, man, I'm just I'm in a bad place
last night, or I looked at something last night that
I shouldn't have or, you know, I just I'm feeling depressed. Uh,
the comparison thing is wicked also, you know, and it's
like I look at someone like Brandon Lake and I'm like, man,
I love Brandon Lake. And he's one of my good buddies.
But I also am like, well, how come I'm not
(19:23):
playing stadiums? And how come I'm not doing a song
with Jelly Roll? And how come I'm not doing this?
And how come I it's just wicked and it'll and
it eats me up, you know, a lot of times
and so but I realized that I'm looking to him
for my affirmation. And that's not right. No. I look
to Jesus. Um. He's the Lord of my life, you know? Um, so, yeah.
S1 (19:42):
Maybe JellyRoll is listening now, and he'll call you up.
S2 (19:45):
Yeah, maybe he is. I'd love to. Just pray. I'd love,
I'd love to. Just give him a big hug and
pray for him, you know, and just say, man, we're
in this together. And I love you, and I'm proud
of you. You know that? That's all I would say. But, um,
God puts people in your life for a mighty reason.
And my band, um, I could not do this without
my band. Because they love Jesus more than me. And
(20:06):
they remind me always why we do this.
S1 (20:09):
The new album is Walk Through Fire, but. And each
of these songs, you got to hear Black Sheep. We're
going to play that in a minute. But each of
these songs really is about the identity that we have,
and that's the song that I think most people know
you from is who I am. Who I am is
not a comparison to anybody else. It's who you've made
(20:30):
me to be, who you've called me uniquely to be. Yeah.
And I'd like for you to sing a little bit
of that for us today.
S2 (20:37):
I will.
S3 (20:42):
I stand in front of the mirror, but I don't
like looking back at me. Wish I could see things
clearer or like who I'm supposed to be. Every trial
lift me higher through the fire. Hold me tighter. Remind
(21:03):
me again that I was made for more. It's who
I am. In the eyes of the father. Who I am,
who I was. I left at the altar. I am yours, Lord.
I believe it's who I am. I'm a child of
(21:27):
the Most High God, the Most High God's for me,
who I am. I'm a child of the Most High God.
And the most high God's for me. Well, you haven't
left a stone unturned. Anything I've been facing or where
(21:51):
I keep standing on your word. In the water. Take
me under. Fill my lungs to speak your wonder. You
brought me out of the darkness I was made for more.
It's who I am in the eyes of the father.
Who I am is love set free. Who I was
(22:16):
I left at the altar. I am yours, Lord. I
believe it's who I am. I'm a child of the
Most High God, the Most High God's for me, who
I am. I'm a child of the Most High God,
the most high God's for me. Cause you gave up
(22:38):
everything for me. To have everything for all of eternity.
A song in my lungs to sing. Cause you gave
up everything for me. To have everything for all of eternity.
(23:00):
A song in my lungs to sing. I'm a child
of the Most High God. And the most High God's
for me. I'm a child of the Most High God
and the most High God's. For me. It's who I
(23:20):
am in the eyes of the father. Who I am.
Who I was I left at the altar, I am yours, Lord,
I believe. It's who I am. I'm a child of
the Most High God, the Most High God's for me,
(23:41):
who I am. I'm a child of the most High God,
the most high God's for me. Cause I'm a child
of the most high God. And the most high God's
for me. I'm a child of the most High God
in the most high. God's for me.
S1 (24:06):
Ben Fuller. You've heard that song. You had no idea
when you wrote that song, how far it would go
and how many people would be singing it. But it's
true that transformation is is real. You can see it
in your own life, but it's a daily choice that
you have to make to to say, okay, this is
this is who I am, right?
S2 (24:26):
Yeah. I've sung that song probably a 1000 1500 2000.
I have no idea how many times. And last fall, um,
the Lord really ministered to my life. Um, I was
on stage and I'm singing that song and he's like, yeah,
you're no longer a drug addict. You're no longer a loser.
(24:47):
You're no longer a womanizer. You're no longer an alcoholic.
You're no longer all these things that people said to
you were, no, you're mine. You're a child of the
Most High God. You're your your mind I love you.
And I was just, like, on stage. I just totally
broke down because it wrecked me. Because it's all the
times that I've sung this song over and over and
(25:08):
over and over is that he was trying to tell
me my identity the whole time. And so I'm just
grateful for how these songs minister to me. And it's like, look,
four years later, like this song really, really like filled
one of those little fissures in my heart, you know,
because it was just like, oh my goodness. He does like, whoa, whoa.
He really does. Like, this is real. this is real.
I have these moments all the time. Yeah.
S1 (25:30):
Well, and that's true for you, friend. As you listen today,
I hope you're hearing that come through from Ben Fuller.
The new album, Walk Through Fire. You have to hear
the song that's coming up straight ahead. This is Chris
Fabry live on Moody Radio. Go to Chris. You can
find out more about Ben, link to his website and
that new album, Walk Through Fire. Chris Fabry live.
S5 (25:53):
I'm a child of the Most High God and the
most High God for me.
S4 (26:04):
Thank you for your support of the radio backyard fence.
S1 (26:06):
I want to encourage you to become a back fence
partner with us. That means you give a gift each
month and you get our back fence. Post a video
we send out. I think we're going to send out
a video of Ben Fuller and me, uh, pretty, pretty
soon here. So if you call 86695 Faberry or go
to Chris Fabriclive. Org. It would be so encouraging to
(26:27):
have one new partner today, and maybe that's you. Maybe
you can be that partner. Give a gift each month
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partner with us. Call (866) 953-2279 or go to Chris. Where
today you'll find out more about Ben Fuller. His new
(26:49):
album is Walk Through Fire. It is straight from the heart.
You have to hear this song that's coming up. I
heard you say something a minute ago off the air.
You bought a farm? You have bought the farm. Is
that true?
S2 (27:03):
Yeah. Praise God. Yeah, I did, um, I close at
the end of July, and so I'm really thankful for
for all that. Um, but it's it's, uh. Man, it's
crazy how God, it's even got, um, an old milk
barn on, on the property and I and so I'm,
I'm laughing because I'm like, well, isn't that just like
my Lord and Savior, right? Isn't that just like my
(27:25):
father in heaven to bring me right back to where
it all began and and put down brand new roots,
you know, brand new roots? I was thinking about the
gardens and and the animals and just the stuff. And, um, anyway,
someone asked me, he says, are you going to get
any you're going to get any animals out there, you know?
And I said, yeah, I'm going to get some black sheep.
That's what I'm going to.
S1 (27:46):
See there, that it all goes back to that. But
you mentioned, you know, the struggle with your dad and
the love of your dad and then choosing to see
God's love. You know that that is a choice. But
it's a hard thing to overcome because you've got those
tapes playing, right.
S2 (28:01):
Yeah. Yeah, it really does. And my relationship with my father, um,
you know, it started really rough and tough and, you know,
it was passed down from his dad to him, to me,
you know, and just love wasn't abundant in our household.
And I just want to encourage you, um, now that
I've given my life to Christ, I'm watching my dad. Um, my,
(28:24):
the last conversation I had with my dad, he ended
it with. I love you, son.
S1 (28:29):
Ah.
S2 (28:29):
And so I'm just here to say that I've done nothing.
A lot of times. That's what's so hard about this.
It's so hard about addiction. It's so hard about those
things as we wait, you know, for a loved one
to either give their life to Christ or to to
just be done with the things that they're doing. God
has to be the one to do that. And so
all we can do is fix our eyes on Jesus, right?
(28:50):
And walk this thing out. And that's all I'm doing,
is fixing my eyes on Christ, and I'm watching God
come in and just just just pad my dad's heart.
He's just turning. So, uh, it's turning to love, and
and it's just amazing to to say that to my
dad and have him say it back. So.
S1 (29:08):
And it's a process, you know, you had to wait
a long time. You had to go through a lot. I'm.
I'm enamored. I think I'm going to give you a song, uh, idea.
You're going to have to write this. Let's hear it.
Maybe you already have.
S2 (29:18):
Let's hear.
S1 (29:18):
It. And it's around the word fix. Because an addict
is looking for a fix. Meaning you got to get
to that high again. I've got to get numb again.
I don't like what I'm feeling. So I got to
get a fix. And I think a lot of Christians
want life fixed too, because we're uncomfortable with what God
(29:40):
has brought us through to and through, you know. And
we want everything neat and tidy. But the fix that
God has for us is, uh, starts in the heart
and then works itself out.
S2 (29:55):
Wow.
S1 (29:55):
Does that make sense?
S2 (29:56):
Are you a songwriter? I mean, have you thought about
moving to Nashville and getting a gig and.
S4 (30:01):
Going.
S1 (30:02):
To live in your milk bar?
S2 (30:04):
Praise God. Hey, I'm Chris Fabry, live from Ben's milk barn.
We've got some more Jesus coming up for you right
after my next songwriting session.
S1 (30:14):
No, that's. But that. Isn't that because I am enamored
with the comfortable life? God, give me the comfortable life.
I don't want to go through this relationally struggle at all.
I want I want it fixed, and God cares too
much for us to give us what we think we want,
because what we really want is him.
S2 (30:33):
Yeah. Wow.
S1 (30:34):
Which takes us to the song that you have been
singing from this new album that is is catching on.
People are grabbing on to this. Why do you think
that is?
S2 (30:44):
I don't know, other than it's just brutally honest. And, um,
you know, I just kind of laid it all out there.
It's funny, the record label will admit that they didn't
want to even cut this song. Um, and they've apologized
to me, and and they've, they've come to me and said, man,
we're just we know that you fought for this song
time and time again. And this was one of those
(31:05):
songs that I really had to fight for. I went
into the to the to the writing room with two
amazing songwriters, Tony Wood and Michael Farren, and sat down
and they just said, man, what do you want to
write about today? You know, and it was we were
writing for this record and I was like, man, I'm just,
I don't know, I don't want to sugarcoat anything. I
just this is really my life on display. Um, I
(31:27):
don't want to just fill people with words, um, and
and sing them empty, like, you know, I don't I,
I want to believe it myself. Um, so how do we,
how do we do that? And it's like, man, I
just I just want to write a song for the
black sheep. You know, I'm meeting so many people that
are telling me that I'm the black sheep of my family. Um,
(31:49):
that I'm that I don't feel welcome at church, that
I don't feel like I'm good enough to even step
foot into church, that I feel like I'd set the
place on fire if I walked into church. And the
truth is, no, actually, you leave on fire if you
step foot into church. And so how do I sing
a song like that? You know, and so I just
I wanted to write a song about about me, you know, and, um. So. Yeah,
(32:11):
this song's called Black Sheep.
S3 (32:15):
Oh. You broke through a thousand fences. I've been rescued
from a thousand ditches. But you still swear you don't
(32:41):
fit in. So you kick and scream and you're gone again.
Wandering off into the devil's wind. How's it goin out there?
Actin like you ain't scared. And how's that heart? Stone
ain't so hard when you're crying. Tears you hope nobody sees.
(33:07):
Guess the good news is he'll never leave you be.
Cause Jesus loves you. Black sheep. And you think we're
(33:33):
better off without you? So you wear your pain out
on your sleeve. But the alcohol and pills ain't fixed
a thing. So how's it goin out there? Actin like
(33:54):
you ain't scared. And how's that heart? Stone ain't so
hard when you're alone. You hope nobody sees. Guess the
good news is he'll never leave you be. Cause Jesus
loves you. Black sheep. I ain't no prophet. But there'll
(34:43):
come a point in time when you can't stop it.
The Good shepherd's loft smells like smoke. There ain't no
hell so low. Where he won't let the hounds of
heaven go. SIC em. Let the hound of heaven go.
(35:05):
How's it goin out there? Actin like you ain't scared.
How's that hard? Ain't When you're alone. You hope nobody sees.
I guess the good news is he'll never leave you be.
(35:30):
It's a pesky, pesky thing. But the good news is
he'll never leave you be. Cause Jesus loves you. Black sheep.
S4 (36:21):
That song for.
S1 (36:22):
You. Because we're all black sheep. We are all running
away in some way from the love of God and
that hound of heaven. I just find that really interesting.
Here it comes again. The hound of heaven is coming
for you, I wrote down. Chase me down. From the
first song you were made for more. And the hound
(36:43):
of heaven won't let you go. And when you're saying
how's it going? You know, how's that working out for you?
How's the. How are the choices that you're making working
out for you? And if it's got you crying by yourself,
you don't have to stay alone. Right.
S2 (36:58):
Amen. Amen. Yeah, that's exactly that's exactly it. That was me.
I was hiding, you know, and I was alone, and
I was afraid. And I was terrified that, you know,
nobody loved me. And then, you know, I heard about
this gospel, and his name was Jesus and he died
for me. So I don't have to be alone, you know,
and that he that he loves me, that I have
a father in heaven who loves me. It's like even me.
(37:20):
Like after everything that I've done, after all the bad
things that I've done, the awful things that I've called people,
all the times that I've walked away from relationships and,
and just had just been terrible to people. It's you
love me even after that, you know? And so that's
why I gave my life to him, because nobody else
has ever done that for me.
S1 (37:39):
Because most people think Christianity is you earn, you know,
are you do enough good things that he'll let you in.
It's like, no, no, you just have to realize you
you're not good enough for, for for even to get
God's love. But but he come while we were yet sinners.
Christ died for us. Paid the ultimate price for you
(38:00):
and me. That's. He doesn't just say he loves us,
he shows it that way. Yeah, and all of that
comes through your songs on the new album, Walk Through Fire.
Ben Fuller in the studio with us today. Don't call us.
Continue listening. We've got more coming straight ahead. Go to
Chris Fabry. Chris.
S3 (38:21):
Jesus loves you, black sheep.
S1 (38:52):
Ben Fuller is joining us at the radio backyard fence.
Walk Through Fire is the album run Do Not Walk
to get the album. You can see the link there
and then where Ben is going to be singing over
the next few weeks at Chris Fabriclive. Chris Fabriclive. We
have enough time for you to sing one more song.
And I want you to take us into this, because
(39:14):
this is a song that you were a little reluctant
right now because, you know, you got to practice this.
You got to get this into your heart. But, you know,
this is the one that we need to do now. Why?
S2 (39:25):
Yeah, the whole interview, the whole time we're talking, it's like,
I ain't never been the same since. Jesus. And the
thing that hasn't changed since Jesus. He wrecked the plans
of this broken man and turned a heart of stone
to pieces. I ain't never been the same since Jesus.
And I just felt like you're going to sing since Jesus.
And I was like, well, no, I'm not. And the
(39:46):
Holy Spirit's like, you're going to sing since Jesus, aren't you?
And I'm like, no, I'm not. I'm uncomfortable. I barely
play the guitar as it is. And so I'm like that.
I'm like, I haven't even hardly learned all these songs
myself on this album. It's funny because God gives you
we we pray, right? He gives us the songs and
then they just they come out and here they are.
And so I'm literally like learning these songs, relearning these
(40:10):
songs that he gave to me this winter. And so they, like,
fall out there, out there like these beautiful gifts. And
then I'm opening them later on, also reopening them again.
And so I don't really.
S1 (40:22):
Know a difference in you. It's not just, you know,
for the people who hear it, it's. And that's what
what is the poet who said the no tears in
the writer. No tears in the reader. Same thing for
singers and songwriters.
S2 (40:34):
Yeah, yeah. The Lord is just. He's been ministering to
me through these songs, through my own songs. So, yeah,
as much as I like to, uh, to say that
that I'm, you know, I hope this blesses somebody, but
but yeah, these these are for me and these are
for him and from him. And so I'm just I'm
thankful for that. So we'll see if I can get
through it.
S1 (40:53):
But when he when you're weak he can be strong. Yeah.
That's let's hear it.
S2 (40:57):
Yeah. That's right. The song is called uh, since. Jesus.
S3 (41:18):
Following your footsteps is a lonely, narrow path. When I
called your name, some things would have to die. There's
something about this gospel that sure messed up my life.
I ain't ever been the same since. Ain't a thing
(41:41):
that hasn't changed since. He wrecked the plans of this
broken man. And turned her heart of stone to pieces.
I ain't never been the same since. Jesus. I left
(42:09):
behind my luggage when I picked up that cross to
always want to give it. But I give you all
I got to kick the dust right off my feet
and find me another town. It doesn't matter where I go.
All that matters is I'm found. I ain't ever been
(42:32):
the same since. You wrecked the plans of this broken man.
Turn a heart of stone to pieces. I ain't never
been the same. Since Jesus walked out of that grave.
(42:55):
With my freedom in his hands. He tore the chains
right off of me. And he told me who I am.
I ain't never been the same since. Jesus. When he
(43:22):
left the plans of this broken man to turn our
heart of stone. I ain't never been the same. I
ain't never been the same. Since Jesus.
S1 (43:50):
I love the line where you say the gospel messed
up my life. I've never heard it said that way.
S3 (43:57):
I messed up.
S2 (43:58):
That song is what I did. But. But no.
S1 (44:01):
We couldn't tell. We sure can.
S2 (44:03):
Tell. Thanks. Yeah. I, um, I remember when we, um. Uh,
Sam Martinez and Ethan Hulse when we wrote that song,
and and, um, I remember Ethan's, like, can we say
the gospel messed up our life, you know? And and
this really kind of a weird way to say it,
but when you really think about it, it's that a
man can plant in his heart. But only God determines
(44:24):
his steps. Scripture. And just like, hey, yeah, like we
had a plan, but it's actually his.
S1 (44:30):
Well, it's it's moving you from the path that you
think is going to give you what you want, you know,
in the end to the to the narrow path that
he has for you. I just, uh, Ben, I can't
thank you enough for coming along, spending this time with
us here today and for all your travels and all
your songs and all your singing and all the farm and,
(44:50):
you know, closing on that and and the things that
you're going to be doing, um, that the truth of
that who you are is based in him and not
any awards that you get. And I'm sure there's a
bunch down and singing with Carrie Underwood saying that the
Grand Ole Opry. I mean, when you were on the
farm in Vermont, you dreamed you sang songs that were
(45:12):
coming from the Opry, and now you've sung there? Yeah.
So you, quote unquote, have made it, but the. But
the bedrock is what you just sang about.
S2 (45:21):
Yeah. You know, the beautiful thing about the Opry and
Carrie Underwood was the biggest takeaway from that night was
my production manager told me a couple days later that
he witnessed Carrie backstage behind the red curtain, away from
any camera or person, and she was singing every single
song to if I Got Jesus, every single lyric to
if I Got Jesus while I'm out on stage singing
(45:43):
if I Got Jesus. And and every knee will bow
and every tongue will confess. Carrie didn't need cameras or
applause or people to impress that she just loves Jesus
with her whole heart. And so it's like, I want
to keep that as the main thing, right? I want
to keep that as as when all this stuff, regardless
of all the fame and notoriety and everything that that it's.
(46:06):
I ain't never been the same since. Jesus, you know,
he's the one. He's he's my everything. And keep.
S1 (46:14):
Listening. Keep listening to the spirit. When when he says,
sing this, you sing that even if you know you
don't know.
S2 (46:22):
Painful. Yeah, it's painful, but it's one of those things
where you just feel it. You're like, okay, fine, fine, fine, fine. No.
Get away from me, get away from me. So I yeah,
I appreciate you letting me do it. And thanks for
bearing with me on that.
S1 (46:32):
Ben Fuller we side today with Ben Fuller. The new
album is Walk Through Fire. We have it linked at
Chris fabry.org. If you get the chance to go see
him and hear him do that, you can find out
more at his website. We have that link there as well.
God bless you friend. Come back and see us again okay?
Love you buddy. Thank you. Thanks, Chris. Chris Fabry Live
(46:53):
is a production of Moody Radio, a ministry of Moody
Bible Institute.
He has an unmistakable voice that springs from the rich
soil of some of the pain and struggles of his life,
struggles that led him down a winding road that eventually
led him away from addiction and an aimless journey straight
to the heart of God. Today at the radio backyard Fence,
we welcome back singer songwriter Ben Fuller. Since he was
(00:26):
with us last, he sung at the Grand Ole Opry.
He's traveled with Casting Crowns and Zach Williams and Big
Daddy Weave and many others. And his new album came
out in June. It's called Walk Through Fire. And he's
in the studio with us today, and he's going to
play and sing some songs that I guarantee you will
encourage your heart wherever you are, in whatever situation you're
(00:48):
in today. Ben Fuller, straight ahead on Chris Fabry live
the program from the heart to the heart for the heart.
Our program is recorded today. Don't call us. Let me
thank our team. Ryan McConaughey doing all things technical with
help from Chris Seeger. Tricia is in the chair. And
since it's Friday. That's right. It's time for the fabulous
Favori Friday. Sy. Here's what it does one. We oxygenate
(01:08):
your blood. Two, we get your endorphins going. Three, we
raise your serotonin level. Four we promote lymphatic drainage, and
we stimulate your parasympathetic system. That's why we call it
the five love languages. We also stimulate your vagus nerve.
We help you release acetylcholine. And don't you dare forget
what it does to cortisol dissipation. Taken four seconds of
(01:30):
air through your nose right now. Hold it for seconds,
and then as you release that air through your mouth,
push on the left side of your ribcage to get
rid of all that bad carbon dioxide. Give a sigh today,
for those who grew up on a dairy farm in
Vermont and dreamed of singing country songs, really, for anyone
who had a dream of doing something they felt like
they were made to do, that sprang from that deep
(01:52):
pool inside that said, this is me, this is who
I am. And along the way to getting where they
wanted to go, go. They got sidetracked, went a little
off course, spiraled a bit, and found the hound of
Heaven was after them. The unrelenting coming for you Savior
who loves chasing rebels down. That's how Ben put it
in one of his songs today, a Ben Fuller sigh.
(02:13):
All rights reserved. Void where prohibited. Ah, man. Welcome back.
What did you think of that?
S2 (02:21):
That was unbelievable. Do we have, like, a round of
applause with people in the background going yay!
S1 (02:30):
It is so good to have you back. We had
you on like, two years ago, and we have played
that program just about every third day. Chris. We have
it that we played it, played it, played it. Yeah.
Because it's so good.
S2 (02:42):
Thank you Chris. That was amazing. Seriously, I got lost
somewhere with my hand on my ribcage pressing out the
bad carbon dioxide. Anyway, Lord, fill my lungs up.
S1 (02:54):
We had a we had a caller who was I
think she was a physical therapist or a trainer. And
she said, you know, the the, the carbon dioxide gets
in the left side. So when you when you say
press on that. And so I don't know if it's true,
but it sounds true. You know. So I'm.
S2 (03:09):
Going.
S1 (03:09):
To.
S2 (03:09):
Go with somebody asked me I'm going to share them
that I heard it from Chris. So anyway.
S1 (03:14):
We are catching up with you in the middle of
you hitting the road as we record this today. Yeah.
When you prepare for a tour like this, what are
you hoping happens in all the places that you're going
to go? What are you expecting?
S2 (03:26):
A man can plan in his heart, but only God
determines his steps. I have tried to plan time and
time and time again. And, um. It's always his. It's
always his plan. It's always his timing. It's always his things.
And and, um, so I try to just empty myself,
honestly and just go, okay, Lord, I don't know what's next.
(03:49):
I have no idea. I didn't plan on having a
flat tire on my way to the studio this morning,
but but you know what? I got to stop, And
I literally was on my knee airing up this tire
that had £12 of pressure in it and up to
£40 right to the proper psi. And I thought to myself,
I am nothing without his breath in my lungs. And
(04:09):
I was just like, thank you Lord, for showing me
that because I'm always in such a hurry. You know,
there's always so many people that are just honking and
beeping and speeding and and so it was like that
little stop for me this morning on the way in
was just like, okay, take a deep breath. And that
I'm nothing without him. So that's that's what I try
(04:31):
to do when I go out on tour, when I'm
out before a show, uh, before for real. I hate
to call them shows because this is really my life
on display. And so it's like, okay, Lord, I, apart
from Christ, my flesh can do no good, is what
Paul said. I've realized that. How can I invite you
into my everything and let it be yours?
S1 (04:50):
Isn't it interesting how in the middle he shows up
in the middle of real life when we've got something planned,
you know, we're going in a different direction or this
is where our heart is. And he he pulled through
the glitches, through the struggles. He pulls us back to him.
S2 (05:03):
Yes. And I think that that's where the peace of
the Lord comes in. Also, that peace that surpasses all understanding.
Because I was like starting to to utter, um, you know,
just just junk under my breath as I'm, as I'm,
as I'm pulling into this gas station like, oh, I'm
going to be late. They're going to be mad. I'm
going to be, oh, I've got no time for this.
What are you doing? What are you. And I'm airing
(05:26):
this up. And that's all of a sudden, like, the
Holy Spirit just hit me and was just like, are you.
Are you sure about all that? Like, I've actually stopped
you for a reason this morning to to let you
realize that it's me and not you. And so I'm
just I'm grateful for those moments that that we can,
you know, realize that, hey, it's him and not us.
And the slowdowns. There's a lot of beautiful things that
(05:47):
happen in the slowdowns. So.
S1 (05:49):
So it's not the circumstance, it's the response to that.
That's what he's getting to. So we have the opportunity
to turn on a dime. In a sense, it turns
spiritually to him. And there's a song on this new
album with that word. Can you tell us about that
and sing that for us?
S2 (06:06):
Yeah, yeah. This, um, this song, you know, I, I
had been going through, um, a relationship and, um, it
ended and I was ready to go back to the
14.5 years of addiction that I lived with and in, um,
that I wanted to, to, um, to go back to
(06:27):
drinking again. I wanted to go back to those instant comforts,
those things that gave me, um, that that filled me
up temporarily. And I realized after everything that Jesus has
done for me, like, I can't, I can't go back.
That he's filled that hole in my heart. And so that, like,
little temporary thought of I want to go back was
just instantly filled with, um, I've got nowhere to turn
(06:50):
but Jesus. Turns out I'm not as strong.
S3 (07:16):
As I thought. That's when I learned that you are.
When I'm weak, you are strong. When I fall short,
you go on and on. When I run. Will chase
(07:38):
me down. Till I've got nowhere to turn. But Jesus. Worship.
(08:23):
Turns out I've never had nothing to prove. So I
don't have nothing to fear. When I run, I can't
run long. I've got. Jesus. Your turn to speak. Break
(09:19):
every chain off of me. It's your turn to be right.
Your turn to redeem. Your turn to take all these
burdens from me. Cause it's my turn to heal. My
turn to believe. My turn to let go. And finally
(09:39):
my turn to be loved. My turn to be seen.
It's my turn to let you be the Savior. I need.
When I've got nowhere to turn. I turn it all over.
(10:26):
All over.
S1 (10:37):
Straight from the heart. The music of Ben Fuller today.
And if you go to Chris fabry.org, you'll see the
new album that these songs are coming from, Walk Through fire.
If you have a chance to see and hear Ben
in person, do it. We have a link to his
website fabriclive. More music from the heart straight ahead on
(10:57):
Moody Radio.
S3 (11:26):
Blisters on my soul. They might come, but it wouldn't
come to me. If it was up to me. The
grace that changed my life. Thank God I'm not the
one in charge of this. Know how good your plans
(11:46):
could be if it was up to me.
S4 (11:50):
This is Chris Fabry.
S1 (11:51):
Live on Moody Radio. Thank you so much for joining us.
It's so fun to sit down with Ben Fuller. He
is in the studio. I am in Tucson, Arizona, but
we can see each other. So it's a it's a
cool thing. Uh. Walk Through Fire is our featured resource.
You're hearing music from the album as we go in
and out of the program and then live in the studio,
(12:12):
I have all these questions that are running around my
mind from two years ago, because two years ago you
came and you said, yeah, I'm kind of I don't
know if it was on the air or off the air,
but I'm kind of serious about this girl. And then
you just said, yeah, I had this breakup. Yeah. And
it's like, that's where the seeds of some really great
songs come from. The heartbreak. Right? Yeah. Um, so you
(12:35):
don't have to tell me anything that you don't want,
that you don't want to tell me. But it sounds
to me like, uh, God is doing something inside of
your heart with the cracks and the fissures that you're
going through relationally. Is that true?
S2 (12:50):
Yeah, it's absolutely true. Yeah, I, I realized, you know,
some of the things it's it's just crazy. Um, about myself,
God has just been working so mightily on me and
realizing that, um, I run when things get bad and
when there's a problem, when there's an issue. You know,
I just literally read Jonah last night laying in bed,
and I was just I was I was like, he's like, nope.
(13:11):
I'm actually I'm going to hop a ship. I'm out
of here. Um, by God, I want nothing to do
with going to the place that you want to bring me. And, um,
there's so many times in my life recently that, um,
I can relate to all that, but, yeah, I again,
I thought I had a plan in my life. I
was like, yeah, yeah, this this sounds great, looks great.
It's going to be great. And God was like, but
(13:32):
this isn't what I have for you. And I took
it so hard. And, um, there's some things in my
past just from running from my dad, from running when
things got bad at home. Um, that that are coming
out in me. Six years later, after saying yes to Jesus,
I'm realizing a lot of this stuff is still. He's
like opening up these cracks and fissures in my heart.
(13:53):
And he's just like, I need to take that out.
I also need to take that out, and I need
to take that out. And we're going to stitch that
back up. I'm going to stitch that back up, you know.
And so it's been really, really powerful. But yeah, I,
I my heart was broke. I mean I and I
literally realized that I had nowhere to turn but Jesus.
S1 (14:10):
You know, uh, and I'm down the road 25 or
a little more years than you. But here's the thing
that I keep coming back to, and that is, uh,
the work that God is doing in you late 30s.
He's still doing in me. I'm learning. I'm seeing things
from my childhood that are bubbling back up to me.
It's like, why? Why is that coming back here? Why?
(14:32):
Why am I being controlled by that thing way back there?
You know, that happened to me. And it's a choice.
It's a grace for God to let you see it,
I think. Don't you?
S2 (14:44):
Yeah, I do too. And and the question is, are
you going to give it to him? Are you going
to turn that over, or are you going to hand
it over? And a lot of times it's like I
saw it and was like, man, I don't want to
do this anymore. And I think we have that choice
to to ask the Lord. It's like, well, you come in,
will you heal this then will you take this then?
Thank you for showing me that. Help me not do
that again. You know, and so many times I find
(15:06):
myself in similar situations of wanting to run. And, um,
it seems to be less and less, though, almost like
it was with the alcohol of. Just like he showed
me more and more how much he loves me, but
also to just go to him first, you know, come
to me, all ye who are weary. You know, it's like,
don't forget to run to me with this. And, um,
(15:27):
you know, I'm just I'm kind of thick headed and
a lot of things, and and I'm like, I'm a man.
I can handle this, I can. I'm strong, I'm tough.
I can, you know? And it's like, yeah, right. No
I'm not. I'm a big. And then I'm down on
my knees bawling like a little baby. I'm like, I'm
actually not. Help me Lord. So yeah, it's been cool
to watch.
S1 (15:46):
It's interesting in your music and in your lyrics how
much this comes up, how much the running is or
going down the wrong path. And even in that last song, turn,
chase me down. You know, the hound of heaven that's
coming after you. That's a theme in your life that
it just comes up naturally, doesn't it?
S2 (16:05):
Yeah. And I don't know. I mean, I just I
really realized that, um, you know, Paul said I'd like
to die and be with my savior. Um, but it's
to your benefit, uh, that I stay here and preach
the gospel in hopes to save some. And so it's
like I realized that I've been saved. What I've been
saved from. And, um. And I ran my whole life,
(16:27):
you know. And so to be able to to sing
about it, to be able to talk about it. And
but now to be able to have an answer, you know,
for it all and just say, hey, it's Jesus who
I was looking for, who I was running for, and
maybe who I was running from. And a lot of
instances I was like, I don't want to face that.
(16:47):
I don't want to face him, you know? Um, so.
S1 (16:51):
Even those who've been walking the trail, though, will have
these not a capital R run, but a small R,
you know. Well, just a little detour.
S2 (16:59):
Yeah. Is the grass greener on the other side? Exactly.
And then I think when you get there, it's like.
That's why I pray for the consequences, Chris. And I
think it's cool because the Lord has shown me. And
it might sound weird, but I'm like, Lord, will you
show me what happens if I do drink 12 beers? Like, Lord,
will you show me? Um, if I do try to
(17:20):
to to, you know, message this girl or do these
things or whatever, it's like, will you show me the
end result of that stuff? If I'm walking in my
flesh and I'm trying to do things, I'm like, Will
you show me what happens? Um. And that literally every
time I get out there, the grass is not greener
on the other side. God has put people in my
life with that have that have been so blessed with
(17:41):
lots of money and, and properties and, and all kinds
of stuff. And they've told me the same thing. They're like, well,
we thought this might fix, but it didn't. We thought
that this would, but it didn't. And so it's like, man,
we the only one is Jesus. And so they've had
to come back down and and meet him. You know.
S1 (17:59):
You can see that, uh, even recently with Christian musicians
and pastors and leaders and others who have fallen, that's,
you know, who didn't want to, but they did. Yeah. Uh,
or they made these choices that led to other choices
that led to other choices. And that is the logical
conclusion every time when you go down that wrong path.
S2 (18:19):
Yeah. Shame is a shame is an awful thing. And
once you get into a spiral of feeling that way and, um,
that's why, you know, last week I, um, I was
talking to my band, and I've got 11 guys, um,
that have been out on the road, and it's just
it's been so beautiful and amazing, but it's like, man,
I need you. That's why it's so important to surround
(18:41):
yourself with people that love Jesus more than you. And
it's like, man, I need you guys to hold me accountable.
I need you guys to check in on me. I
need you guys to see when I'm having a bad day,
when I'm having a good day, to see that I'm
human and to remind me who my God is, who
my Savior is, and that I can run to him
with all that stuff. And so a lot of times,
you know, I'll have tough conversations with my guys because
(19:03):
it's like, man, I'm just I'm in a bad place
last night, or I looked at something last night that
I shouldn't have or, you know, I just I'm feeling depressed. Uh,
the comparison thing is wicked also, you know, and it's
like I look at someone like Brandon Lake and I'm like, man,
I love Brandon Lake. And he's one of my good buddies.
But I also am like, well, how come I'm not
(19:23):
playing stadiums? And how come I'm not doing a song
with Jelly Roll? And how come I'm not doing this?
And how come I it's just wicked and it'll and
it eats me up, you know, a lot of times
and so but I realized that I'm looking to him
for my affirmation. And that's not right. No. I look
to Jesus. Um. He's the Lord of my life, you know? Um, so, yeah.
S1 (19:42):
Maybe JellyRoll is listening now, and he'll call you up.
S2 (19:45):
Yeah, maybe he is. I'd love to. Just pray. I'd love,
I'd love to. Just give him a big hug and
pray for him, you know, and just say, man, we're
in this together. And I love you, and I'm proud
of you. You know that? That's all I would say. But, um,
God puts people in your life for a mighty reason.
And my band, um, I could not do this without
my band. Because they love Jesus more than me. And
(20:06):
they remind me always why we do this.
S1 (20:09):
The new album is Walk Through Fire, but. And each
of these songs, you got to hear Black Sheep. We're
going to play that in a minute. But each of
these songs really is about the identity that we have,
and that's the song that I think most people know
you from is who I am. Who I am is
not a comparison to anybody else. It's who you've made
(20:30):
me to be, who you've called me uniquely to be. Yeah.
And I'd like for you to sing a little bit
of that for us today.
S2 (20:37):
I will.
S3 (20:42):
I stand in front of the mirror, but I don't
like looking back at me. Wish I could see things
clearer or like who I'm supposed to be. Every trial
lift me higher through the fire. Hold me tighter. Remind
(21:03):
me again that I was made for more. It's who
I am. In the eyes of the father. Who I am,
who I was. I left at the altar. I am yours, Lord.
I believe it's who I am. I'm a child of
(21:27):
the Most High God, the Most High God's for me,
who I am. I'm a child of the Most High God.
And the most high God's for me. Well, you haven't
left a stone unturned. Anything I've been facing or where
(21:51):
I keep standing on your word. In the water. Take
me under. Fill my lungs to speak your wonder. You
brought me out of the darkness I was made for more.
It's who I am in the eyes of the father.
Who I am is love set free. Who I was
(22:16):
I left at the altar. I am yours, Lord. I
believe it's who I am. I'm a child of the
Most High God, the Most High God's for me, who
I am. I'm a child of the Most High God,
the most high God's for me. Cause you gave up
(22:38):
everything for me. To have everything for all of eternity.
A song in my lungs to sing. Cause you gave
up everything for me. To have everything for all of eternity.
(23:00):
A song in my lungs to sing. I'm a child
of the Most High God. And the most High God's
for me. I'm a child of the Most High God
and the most High God's. For me. It's who I
(23:20):
am in the eyes of the father. Who I am.
Who I was I left at the altar, I am yours, Lord,
I believe. It's who I am. I'm a child of
the Most High God, the Most High God's for me,
(23:41):
who I am. I'm a child of the most High God,
the most high God's for me. Cause I'm a child
of the most high God. And the most high God's
for me. I'm a child of the most High God
in the most high. God's for me.
S1 (24:06):
Ben Fuller. You've heard that song. You had no idea
when you wrote that song, how far it would go
and how many people would be singing it. But it's
true that transformation is is real. You can see it
in your own life, but it's a daily choice that
you have to make to to say, okay, this is
this is who I am, right?
S2 (24:26):
Yeah. I've sung that song probably a 1000 1500 2000.
I have no idea how many times. And last fall, um,
the Lord really ministered to my life. Um, I was
on stage and I'm singing that song and he's like, yeah,
you're no longer a drug addict. You're no longer a loser.
(24:47):
You're no longer a womanizer. You're no longer an alcoholic.
You're no longer all these things that people said to
you were, no, you're mine. You're a child of the
Most High God. You're your your mind I love you.
And I was just, like, on stage. I just totally
broke down because it wrecked me. Because it's all the
times that I've sung this song over and over and
(25:08):
over and over is that he was trying to tell
me my identity the whole time. And so I'm just
grateful for how these songs minister to me. And it's like, look,
four years later, like this song really, really like filled
one of those little fissures in my heart, you know,
because it was just like, oh my goodness. He does like, whoa, whoa.
He really does. Like, this is real. this is real.
I have these moments all the time. Yeah.
S1 (25:30):
Well, and that's true for you, friend. As you listen today,
I hope you're hearing that come through from Ben Fuller.
The new album, Walk Through Fire. You have to hear
the song that's coming up straight ahead. This is Chris
Fabry live on Moody Radio. Go to Chris. You can
find out more about Ben, link to his website and
that new album, Walk Through Fire. Chris Fabry live.
S5 (25:53):
I'm a child of the Most High God and the
most High God for me.
S4 (26:04):
Thank you for your support of the radio backyard fence.
S1 (26:06):
I want to encourage you to become a back fence
partner with us. That means you give a gift each
month and you get our back fence. Post a video
we send out. I think we're going to send out
a video of Ben Fuller and me, uh, pretty, pretty
soon here. So if you call 86695 Faberry or go
to Chris Fabriclive. Org. It would be so encouraging to
(26:27):
have one new partner today, and maybe that's you. Maybe
you can be that partner. Give a gift each month
of any size. We'll send you that and you'll see
the other perks that you get becoming a bank fence
partner with us. Call (866) 953-2279 or go to Chris. Where
today you'll find out more about Ben Fuller. His new
(26:49):
album is Walk Through Fire. It is straight from the heart.
You have to hear this song that's coming up. I
heard you say something a minute ago off the air.
You bought a farm? You have bought the farm. Is
that true?
S2 (27:03):
Yeah. Praise God. Yeah, I did, um, I close at
the end of July, and so I'm really thankful for
for all that. Um, but it's it's, uh. Man, it's
crazy how God, it's even got, um, an old milk
barn on, on the property and I and so I'm,
I'm laughing because I'm like, well, isn't that just like
my Lord and Savior, right? Isn't that just like my
(27:25):
father in heaven to bring me right back to where
it all began and and put down brand new roots,
you know, brand new roots? I was thinking about the
gardens and and the animals and just the stuff. And, um, anyway,
someone asked me, he says, are you going to get
any you're going to get any animals out there, you know?
And I said, yeah, I'm going to get some black sheep.
That's what I'm going to.
S1 (27:46):
See there, that it all goes back to that. But
you mentioned, you know, the struggle with your dad and
the love of your dad and then choosing to see
God's love. You know that that is a choice. But
it's a hard thing to overcome because you've got those
tapes playing, right.
S2 (28:01):
Yeah. Yeah, it really does. And my relationship with my father, um,
you know, it started really rough and tough and, you know,
it was passed down from his dad to him, to me,
you know, and just love wasn't abundant in our household.
And I just want to encourage you, um, now that
I've given my life to Christ, I'm watching my dad. Um, my,
(28:24):
the last conversation I had with my dad, he ended
it with. I love you, son.
S1 (28:29):
Ah.
S2 (28:29):
And so I'm just here to say that I've done nothing.
A lot of times. That's what's so hard about this.
It's so hard about addiction. It's so hard about those
things as we wait, you know, for a loved one
to either give their life to Christ or to to
just be done with the things that they're doing. God
has to be the one to do that. And so
all we can do is fix our eyes on Jesus, right?
(28:50):
And walk this thing out. And that's all I'm doing,
is fixing my eyes on Christ, and I'm watching God
come in and just just just pad my dad's heart.
He's just turning. So, uh, it's turning to love, and
and it's just amazing to to say that to my
dad and have him say it back. So.
S1 (29:08):
And it's a process, you know, you had to wait
a long time. You had to go through a lot. I'm.
I'm enamored. I think I'm going to give you a song, uh, idea.
You're going to have to write this. Let's hear it.
Maybe you already have.
S2 (29:18):
Let's hear.
S1 (29:18):
It. And it's around the word fix. Because an addict
is looking for a fix. Meaning you got to get
to that high again. I've got to get numb again.
I don't like what I'm feeling. So I got to
get a fix. And I think a lot of Christians
want life fixed too, because we're uncomfortable with what God
(29:40):
has brought us through to and through, you know. And
we want everything neat and tidy. But the fix that
God has for us is, uh, starts in the heart
and then works itself out.
S2 (29:55):
Wow.
S1 (29:55):
Does that make sense?
S2 (29:56):
Are you a songwriter? I mean, have you thought about
moving to Nashville and getting a gig and.
S4 (30:01):
Going.
S1 (30:02):
To live in your milk bar?
S2 (30:04):
Praise God. Hey, I'm Chris Fabry, live from Ben's milk barn.
We've got some more Jesus coming up for you right
after my next songwriting session.
S1 (30:14):
No, that's. But that. Isn't that because I am enamored
with the comfortable life? God, give me the comfortable life.
I don't want to go through this relationally struggle at all.
I want I want it fixed, and God cares too
much for us to give us what we think we want,
because what we really want is him.
S2 (30:33):
Yeah. Wow.
S1 (30:34):
Which takes us to the song that you have been
singing from this new album that is is catching on.
People are grabbing on to this. Why do you think
that is?
S2 (30:44):
I don't know, other than it's just brutally honest. And, um,
you know, I just kind of laid it all out there.
It's funny, the record label will admit that they didn't
want to even cut this song. Um, and they've apologized
to me, and and they've, they've come to me and said, man,
we're just we know that you fought for this song
time and time again. And this was one of those
(31:05):
songs that I really had to fight for. I went
into the to the to the writing room with two
amazing songwriters, Tony Wood and Michael Farren, and sat down
and they just said, man, what do you want to
write about today? You know, and it was we were
writing for this record and I was like, man, I'm just,
I don't know, I don't want to sugarcoat anything. I
just this is really my life on display. Um, I
(31:27):
don't want to just fill people with words, um, and
and sing them empty, like, you know, I don't I,
I want to believe it myself. Um, so how do we,
how do we do that? And it's like, man, I
just I just want to write a song for the
black sheep. You know, I'm meeting so many people that
are telling me that I'm the black sheep of my family. Um,
(31:49):
that I'm that I don't feel welcome at church, that
I don't feel like I'm good enough to even step
foot into church, that I feel like I'd set the
place on fire if I walked into church. And the
truth is, no, actually, you leave on fire if you
step foot into church. And so how do I sing
a song like that? You know, and so I just
I wanted to write a song about about me, you know, and, um. So. Yeah,
(32:11):
this song's called Black Sheep.
S3 (32:15):
Oh. You broke through a thousand fences. I've been rescued
from a thousand ditches. But you still swear you don't
(32:41):
fit in. So you kick and scream and you're gone again.
Wandering off into the devil's wind. How's it goin out there?
Actin like you ain't scared. And how's that heart? Stone
ain't so hard when you're crying. Tears you hope nobody sees.
(33:07):
Guess the good news is he'll never leave you be.
Cause Jesus loves you. Black sheep. And you think we're
(33:33):
better off without you? So you wear your pain out
on your sleeve. But the alcohol and pills ain't fixed
a thing. So how's it goin out there? Actin like
(33:54):
you ain't scared. And how's that heart? Stone ain't so
hard when you're alone. You hope nobody sees. Guess the
good news is he'll never leave you be. Cause Jesus
loves you. Black sheep. I ain't no prophet. But there'll
(34:43):
come a point in time when you can't stop it.
The Good shepherd's loft smells like smoke. There ain't no
hell so low. Where he won't let the hounds of
heaven go. SIC em. Let the hound of heaven go.
(35:05):
How's it goin out there? Actin like you ain't scared.
How's that hard? Ain't When you're alone. You hope nobody sees.
I guess the good news is he'll never leave you be.
(35:30):
It's a pesky, pesky thing. But the good news is
he'll never leave you be. Cause Jesus loves you. Black sheep.
S4 (36:21):
That song for.
S1 (36:22):
You. Because we're all black sheep. We are all running
away in some way from the love of God and
that hound of heaven. I just find that really interesting.
Here it comes again. The hound of heaven is coming
for you, I wrote down. Chase me down. From the
first song you were made for more. And the hound
(36:43):
of heaven won't let you go. And when you're saying
how's it going? You know, how's that working out for you?
How's the. How are the choices that you're making working
out for you? And if it's got you crying by yourself,
you don't have to stay alone. Right.
S2 (36:58):
Amen. Amen. Yeah, that's exactly that's exactly it. That was me.
I was hiding, you know, and I was alone, and
I was afraid. And I was terrified that, you know,
nobody loved me. And then, you know, I heard about
this gospel, and his name was Jesus and he died
for me. So I don't have to be alone, you know,
and that he that he loves me, that I have
a father in heaven who loves me. It's like even me.
(37:20):
Like after everything that I've done, after all the bad
things that I've done, the awful things that I've called people,
all the times that I've walked away from relationships and,
and just had just been terrible to people. It's you
love me even after that, you know? And so that's
why I gave my life to him, because nobody else
has ever done that for me.
S1 (37:39):
Because most people think Christianity is you earn, you know,
are you do enough good things that he'll let you in.
It's like, no, no, you just have to realize you
you're not good enough for, for for even to get
God's love. But but he come while we were yet sinners.
Christ died for us. Paid the ultimate price for you
(38:00):
and me. That's. He doesn't just say he loves us,
he shows it that way. Yeah, and all of that
comes through your songs on the new album, Walk Through Fire.
Ben Fuller in the studio with us today. Don't call us.
Continue listening. We've got more coming straight ahead. Go to
Chris Fabry. Chris.
S3 (38:21):
Jesus loves you, black sheep.
S1 (38:52):
Ben Fuller is joining us at the radio backyard fence.
Walk Through Fire is the album run Do Not Walk
to get the album. You can see the link there
and then where Ben is going to be singing over
the next few weeks at Chris Fabriclive. Chris Fabriclive. We
have enough time for you to sing one more song.
And I want you to take us into this, because
(39:14):
this is a song that you were a little reluctant
right now because, you know, you got to practice this.
You got to get this into your heart. But, you know,
this is the one that we need to do now. Why?
S2 (39:25):
Yeah, the whole interview, the whole time we're talking, it's like,
I ain't never been the same since. Jesus. And the
thing that hasn't changed since Jesus. He wrecked the plans
of this broken man and turned a heart of stone
to pieces. I ain't never been the same since Jesus.
And I just felt like you're going to sing since Jesus.
And I was like, well, no, I'm not. And the
(39:46):
Holy Spirit's like, you're going to sing since Jesus, aren't you?
And I'm like, no, I'm not. I'm uncomfortable. I barely
play the guitar as it is. And so I'm like that.
I'm like, I haven't even hardly learned all these songs
myself on this album. It's funny because God gives you
we we pray, right? He gives us the songs and
then they just they come out and here they are.
And so I'm literally like learning these songs, relearning these
(40:10):
songs that he gave to me this winter. And so they, like,
fall out there, out there like these beautiful gifts. And
then I'm opening them later on, also reopening them again.
And so I don't really.
S1 (40:22):
Know a difference in you. It's not just, you know,
for the people who hear it, it's. And that's what
what is the poet who said the no tears in
the writer. No tears in the reader. Same thing for
singers and songwriters.
S2 (40:34):
Yeah, yeah. The Lord is just. He's been ministering to
me through these songs, through my own songs. So, yeah,
as much as I like to, uh, to say that
that I'm, you know, I hope this blesses somebody, but
but yeah, these these are for me and these are
for him and from him. And so I'm just I'm
thankful for that. So we'll see if I can get
through it.
S1 (40:53):
But when he when you're weak he can be strong. Yeah.
That's let's hear it.
S2 (40:57):
Yeah. That's right. The song is called uh, since. Jesus.
S3 (41:18):
Following your footsteps is a lonely, narrow path. When I
called your name, some things would have to die. There's
something about this gospel that sure messed up my life.
I ain't ever been the same since. Ain't a thing
(41:41):
that hasn't changed since. He wrecked the plans of this
broken man. And turned her heart of stone to pieces.
I ain't never been the same since. Jesus. I left
(42:09):
behind my luggage when I picked up that cross to
always want to give it. But I give you all
I got to kick the dust right off my feet
and find me another town. It doesn't matter where I go.
All that matters is I'm found. I ain't ever been
(42:32):
the same since. You wrecked the plans of this broken man.
Turn a heart of stone to pieces. I ain't never
been the same. Since Jesus walked out of that grave.
(42:55):
With my freedom in his hands. He tore the chains
right off of me. And he told me who I am.
I ain't never been the same since. Jesus. When he
(43:22):
left the plans of this broken man to turn our
heart of stone. I ain't never been the same. I
ain't never been the same. Since Jesus.
S1 (43:50):
I love the line where you say the gospel messed
up my life. I've never heard it said that way.
S3 (43:57):
I messed up.
S2 (43:58):
That song is what I did. But. But no.
S1 (44:01):
We couldn't tell. We sure can.
S2 (44:03):
Tell. Thanks. Yeah. I, um, I remember when we, um. Uh,
Sam Martinez and Ethan Hulse when we wrote that song,
and and, um, I remember Ethan's, like, can we say
the gospel messed up our life, you know? And and
this really kind of a weird way to say it,
but when you really think about it, it's that a
man can plant in his heart. But only God determines
(44:24):
his steps. Scripture. And just like, hey, yeah, like we
had a plan, but it's actually his.
S1 (44:30):
Well, it's it's moving you from the path that you
think is going to give you what you want, you know,
in the end to the to the narrow path that
he has for you. I just, uh, Ben, I can't
thank you enough for coming along, spending this time with
us here today and for all your travels and all
your songs and all your singing and all the farm and,
(44:50):
you know, closing on that and and the things that
you're going to be doing, um, that the truth of
that who you are is based in him and not
any awards that you get. And I'm sure there's a
bunch down and singing with Carrie Underwood saying that the
Grand Ole Opry. I mean, when you were on the
farm in Vermont, you dreamed you sang songs that were
(45:12):
coming from the Opry, and now you've sung there? Yeah.
So you, quote unquote, have made it, but the. But
the bedrock is what you just sang about.
S2 (45:21):
Yeah. You know, the beautiful thing about the Opry and
Carrie Underwood was the biggest takeaway from that night was
my production manager told me a couple days later that
he witnessed Carrie backstage behind the red curtain, away from
any camera or person, and she was singing every single
song to if I Got Jesus, every single lyric to
if I Got Jesus while I'm out on stage singing
(45:43):
if I Got Jesus. And and every knee will bow
and every tongue will confess. Carrie didn't need cameras or
applause or people to impress that she just loves Jesus
with her whole heart. And so it's like, I want
to keep that as the main thing, right? I want
to keep that as as when all this stuff, regardless
of all the fame and notoriety and everything that that it's.
(46:06):
I ain't never been the same since. Jesus, you know,
he's the one. He's he's my everything. And keep.
S1 (46:14):
Listening. Keep listening to the spirit. When when he says,
sing this, you sing that even if you know you
don't know.
S2 (46:22):
Painful. Yeah, it's painful, but it's one of those things
where you just feel it. You're like, okay, fine, fine, fine, fine. No.
Get away from me, get away from me. So I yeah,
I appreciate you letting me do it. And thanks for
bearing with me on that.
S1 (46:32):
Ben Fuller we side today with Ben Fuller. The new
album is Walk Through Fire. We have it linked at
Chris fabry.org. If you get the chance to go see
him and hear him do that, you can find out
more at his website. We have that link there as well.
God bless you friend. Come back and see us again okay?
Love you buddy. Thank you. Thanks, Chris. Chris Fabry Live
(46:53):
is a production of Moody Radio, a ministry of Moody
Bible Institute.
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