July 3, 2025 • 47 mins
Kenda called Chris Fabry Live a few weeks ago with a question for a guest. But it's the backstory of her life you'll hear about. You see, Kenda was 16 years old when she found out she was pregnant. What she decided about that unborn child changed the direction of her life. Hear about her hopes and dreams and what happened because of her decision.
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Episode Transcript
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S1 (00:05):
Today on Chris Fabry live all. We have such a
good story for you that is organic. It comes from
a listener to this program who called and asked the question,
and later we discovered her backstory. Her name is Kenda
and I want you to hear from her in the
first half of our broadcast today. And then in the
second half, I want you to hear from two guests
(00:27):
who are all about recovery from a choice that is
different than the one Kenda will describe. All of that
and more comes your way straight ahead at the radio
backyard fence. Get ready for some encouragement. Thanks for joining
us for a recorded edition of Chris Fabry Live! Don't
call us today, but I do encourage you to go
to the website. Chris Livorno a big thank you to
(00:50):
Ryan McConaughey doing all things technical. Tricia is our producer
and thank you friends and partners of this program. We
cannot do what we do without your Of participation. And
I want to highlight our back fence partners. Every Thursday
we send a video to those who give a gift
each month to support this program. It kind of pulls
back the curtain on the conversations we have our guests,
(01:13):
some of the responses that we receive, I think, show
you how your investment is paying dividends in people's lives
and hearts. And I think that's going to happen today
with Kennedy's story. So go to Chris. Org you'll see
how you can support us. Become a back fence partner
right there. I'd love to send you a copy of
my novel, The Promise of Jesse Woods. Chris Fabry lives.
(01:38):
Or you can call 866953. Every partner has access to
our thank you each month this month. It's an excellent
book by Pastor Colin Smith. Drive Through the Bible (866) 953-2279.
And thanks for your support of the radio backyard fence.
We had a guest in April named Amber Leah, and
(02:01):
she was vulnerable with us, with her story about the
anger that she had to deal with in her life
that kind of spilled over onto her children. And during
that program, we took a call from Kendra. And here's
a little bit of what Kendra said.
S2 (02:16):
I find that my son, I became a parent overnight
with him. My brother passed and his mother had abandoned
him and his biological mother. And at four, he lost
my brother and I stepped in, and he's now nine.
He turned nine in December. And, um, bedtime because he
plays sports and stuff. Bedtime and dinner seemed to be
(02:36):
the worst. I'll ask him over and over again, can
you please get ready first time?
S1 (02:41):
So you get the gist of Kennedy's question. She's a
single mom. She's trying to be both a tender mom
and the disciplinarian at the same time. And after her
call and after the program, Deb Solomon, who was producing
that day, said, hey, Chris Kennedy has a great story.
You ought to have her on and talk more about
(03:02):
what she went through. And that's what we're going to
do today. Uh, Kenda Peterson is with us, candid. Do
you remember that conversation?
S3 (03:10):
I do a little bit. Um, I think I shared
with her that, you know, when I was 17, I
had had a child and had chosen life and placed
her for adoption. And with the understanding that I was
being obedient to God when I had my daughter, I
asked God for one reason for me to keep her
(03:31):
that had nothing to do with me. And there was none.
It was my daughter I wanted her. She was my child.
And so I, out of obedience and a calling, I
had already chosen a family. But once I met her
and held her, it was a little more difficult to
say goodbye. Um. But I was obedient, and I chose
to hand her over to God and to that family
(03:52):
in the hospital that day, um, with the understanding that
God was going to keep his end of the deal,
and I was going to get married and have children.
And and then that never happened. And I was able
to become a parent because of my brother's passing. And
I love being a mom to trace, I love it. However, um,
(04:12):
it didn't come the way I thought I was going
to come, and I had chosen to place my daughter
for adoption specifically because I believe in the sanctity of
marriage and a mom and a dad, and I wanted
her to have both a mother and a father. And
then here I find myself raising this boy completely dependent
on God for the fathering.
S1 (04:34):
Yeah. And I think what Amber and I both said was,
we are so blown away by your, um, your commitment
to your son. He was your nephew, and now he's
your son. By the the love that you want to
pour into him. And yet, at the same time, realizing
this is a struggle. It's hard. You can be both people, though.
(04:56):
You're trying to be. So I remember a lot of
affirmation for you during that conversation.
S3 (05:03):
Well thank you, thank you. You know, we can't do
it without we can't do it without our our faith. Um, however,
I will say that it's amazing what God can do
in and through us when when we're asked to do it.
And I cannot emphasize enough the the impact of the
family of God. If I wasn't connected to a church
(05:25):
family and a church body, I don't know that I
could even be able to stand up straight or to
have that hope. Because even in my singleness before trace,
I found a great fulfillment in serving in the in
the body of Christ. I found great fulfillment in helping others.
And so I wasn't this single woman that was constantly
seeking and looking for a spouse. I would love for
(05:47):
someone to meet me and pursue me. However, there's great
fulfillment as a single person in the body of Christ
doesn't mean there's not sorrow. Doesn't mean there aren't days
that I cry on my way to work and say, Lord,
I still have this longing. Why is it fulfilled? But
he meets me where I am.
S1 (06:03):
Yeah. And that's the two rails. We talk with Ron
Deal about the two rails of grief. You know that
the the one side is true that that it's that
it's hard. There's lament. There are questions. There's mystery here.
We don't know why and all that. But the other
side of the rail is true as well. There is hope.
There's joy. And both of those exist at the same time.
(06:27):
Or kind of go back and forth. And I sense
that with your story. And I didn't remember you sent
an email. I was out, uh, all of July of 20, 24,
and you sent an email where you kind of described
your story. Can you take me back to 1990, early 1990s?
You were a teenager back then, right?
S3 (06:48):
Yes, yes. Um, I was 16 years old and had
my first little beat up old car. And, um, you know,
as most 16 year olds were doing, we were we
were getting, you know, playing volleyball on the beach and
doing things. And there was a party and everybody left
the party. I was I was known as a good
the good Christian girl. Um, you know, I was very, um,
(07:09):
boisterous in explaining that I, you know, was going to
save myself for my husband and this and that, and
everyone left the party. And then a young man, um,
kind of forced himself on me. It wasn't violent, but
I was too scared to, like, push off. I just
kind of. And, um, two and a half to three
months later, I found out I was pregnant after that,
and he had left the party, and I had no
way of contacting him or anything. And the very first thought,
(07:33):
of course, was, I need to have an abortion. But
because of the way I was raised and because we
talked about life and things like that in my home
and being raised in a Christian home, I chose life
and I chose to carry that child. And then April 28th,
she was born in 1992. And, um, I did not
initially want to give her up, but again, because I
(07:53):
had chosen a Christian family and I really made a
logical decision. Like, I went through a workbook through a
crisis pregnancy center on parenting, living with your parents, living
with a roommate, living alone, adoption. And when I looked
at it all logically, the most loving and responsible choice
at that time for me, I felt like and for
(08:14):
the child was adoption. And so I placed her for
adoption and into God's hands. And even with trace, can
I honestly say he's mine? They belong to God. Children
are a gift that we're entrusted with, but ultimately they
do belong to God. So I walked that path of adoption,
and then in, um, December 11th, about a year and
(08:36):
a half ago, my daughter found me and we were
able to meet each other a year ago for the
first time.
S1 (08:43):
That's Kendra Peterson, who called Chris Fabry live a few
weeks ago, and there she drops the bomb about what
happened with her daughter. Oh, there is more to come
from Kenda. And if this conversation has you struggling because
you made a different choice than she did, stay with us.
There is hope ahead on Chris Fabry live online Chris
(09:04):
Fabry Livorno. This is Chris Fabry live online at Chris
Fabry Livorno our programs recorded today and we're talking with
Kenda Peterson about an amazing twist to her story of
(09:24):
placing her child for adoption in 1992. And then in 2024,
she hears from her many years later. Kenda, did you
know what had happened to your daughter?
S3 (09:38):
I received pictures and letters for about six months, but
right after her first birthday there was no more contact.
I knew she was loved. I got a nice letter
from her, her adoptive father, telling me that they loved
and prayed for me and that she would always know
she was adopted and that I had made a great decision.
But other than that, for over 30 years I had
(09:59):
a hole in my heart and wondered, um, what happened
to her and if she was okay.
S1 (10:05):
Yeah. What did you do with that hole then? I mean,
were there you probably prayed for her. And you thought
about her. Did you think that you would ever see her?
S3 (10:15):
You know, the fact that she hadn't reached out to
me by the time she was 18? I kind of
thought she must not want to meet me. But I
prayed for her regularly and ironically, every single prayer I
prayed for her when I met her had come true.
She's a follower of Christ. She is married with three
children and went to school, was played music, sang everything.
(10:36):
I prayed for her and so it was just amazing
to see the faithfulness of God as I cried out
to her for the years. Um, but I honestly didn't
think I was going to meet her when she didn't
look for me. By the time she was 18.
S1 (10:49):
How did you get through those years then? Because the yearning,
the longing, the desire. And you said, you know, life
didn't turn out like you wanted. You wanted a husband.
You wanted to have a family. How did you get
through all that time?
S3 (11:04):
You know, there were some days and some weeks and
months that were hard and dark, and I questioned myself
and wondered if it. But I continued to cry out
to God, and I still do. You know, he became
my husband. He became my my counselor, my friend. I
would just cry out and, um, sometimes even get angry.
Go down to the beach. I live in South Florida.
I would go down to the beach and just talk
(11:25):
out loud and yell, and then just had this agreement
with God and with the Holy Spirit that after I
was done venting and after I was done questioning, that
I would just be still, and in every single time
the Holy Spirit would remind me of a Scripture, I
would never leave you or forsake you. I love you
with an everlasting love. These scriptures would just come to
(11:46):
my mind and I would, I would cry. But rest
assured in the fact that I serve a God who
loves me and has the best in store for me,
and that my goal in life and my purpose in
life is to glorify him no matter what. And sometimes
that means being vulnerable and hurting. But he is enough.
S1 (12:07):
We're in all those years. Were birthdays your daughter's birthday?
Was that a hard day or was it a glad day?
S3 (12:16):
Her birthday was hard. It was difficult. It was definitely
a time where I reflected. But the hardest day of
the year was Mother's Day. I had a lady I
babysat for that I ran into a few years back,
and she said she still remembers the first Mother's Day
at church with them having me stand because they wanted
to honor me, and me just weeping because my arms
were wet, empty. And, um, so for most of the
(12:38):
mother's days up until recently, if I'm honest, I just
skipped church on Mother's Day because it was just too painful.
Her birthday was hard and I would reflect, but because
there wasn't so much emphasis and so much focus, it
wasn't as deep of a hurt. But Mother's Day was
very difficult, especially serving at church and seeing everyone and
(13:00):
and going and trying so hard to stuff it, because
not many people know my story. So I would just
kind of try my best not to make, you know,
bring attention to myself. But it was painful.
S1 (13:12):
And that's what I'm hoping will happen here today. Kendall,
your vulnerability is going to speak into somebody else's life
who maybe isn't in the exact same situation, but they're
going to hear the hope and the way that you
held on to God, and more importantly, how he held
on to you through all of that, all the questions
and all the mystery and and everything that was going on.
(13:34):
Do you remember how you heard from your daughter? Was
it a phone call? Was it an email?
S3 (13:41):
It was funny because somebody tried calling me through Facebook
Messenger and it startled me at work. And so I
went in to look at it, and then I looked.
I had these messages from nine months earlier. She had
she had notified me through Facebook Messenger the day before
Mother's Day, and I didn't read it until December. And
(14:04):
I was at work and I walked down my office,
and the ladies I work with know my story. I said,
my daughter, I think my daughter they placed for adoption
notified me. I think she reached out. And so I
read the I read the message, which I still have
in my phone, and I messaged her back and said,
I'm so sorry, I just saw this. I think I
think you're right. I think I'm your adoptive mother. And
(14:26):
she responded right away. And um, so that was in
May and then June 14th, which God is so good at,
at he just that was the day my brother who
passed birthday is the day I got to meet her.
So he redeemed even a bitter, very sorrowful time. And
my mother and my life. Um, we got to meet her, actually,
(14:47):
on Brad's birthday last year.
S1 (14:50):
Oh, okay. So tell me about that. Where did she
come to see you? Did you go to see her?
S3 (14:56):
We met in the middle. So she was adopted about
two hours north of where I live currently, and then
moved to the panhandle of Florida. And so we met
in the middle. Her husband had a business, um, thing
going on in the summer for about a week in
the summer in Jacksonville. So I got an Airbnb and
they were in a hotel, and we, um, I got
(15:16):
the Airbnb thinking we could sit down and have, you know,
and talk and, you know, if it went well, I
didn't know how it was going to go. And so
we got an Airbnb, and then I drove up and
she said she'd come see me. And ironically, I thought
we were 18 miles away and we were 1.8 miles away.
So when I met her, I didn't have my makeup
on or anything. I looked exhausted, but it was something else,
(15:38):
you know, it went as well as it could go. And, um,
her husband and my family laughed hysterically because they saw
how her mannerisms are like and how much we look like.
I don't know, because I don't see my mannerisms, but, um,
they were just giggling. And then her parents drove up
the next day or two just to meet me. And, um,
(15:58):
that was that was a little hard because I saw
the mom and I just held her and hugged her
and cried and said, thank you for taking such good
care of her. Wow. And so I got to meet her, um,
her adoptive mother and father as well.
S1 (16:11):
So you were an instant grandmother then?
S3 (16:13):
Yeah. Yeah. So I had I have a grandson who
was a few years older than my son, um, a
grandson who's a year younger and then a brand new
baby who was only a couple weeks old at the time.
So a little girl. So I have three grandchildren now
as well.
S1 (16:30):
Yeah. Yeah. It's just an amazing story of God's grace.
And and this happens in a lot of different families,
you know. And I've heard these kinds of stories through
the years. They always warm my heart. But I also
know that there are stories that aren't like that didn't
end like this, because the choice was made to terminate
(16:51):
the life of the child. And I want you to
speak to the young woman or middle aged woman or man.
You know, who's making the helping make the decision. What
would you say to that person who's pregnant and who
is scared and who is saying, you know, I just
my life is going to be so radically different if
(17:11):
I go through with, you know, all of those things,
all those fears that they have. What would you say
to her?
S3 (17:18):
I would say, reach out to those that you know,
love and care for you, because you'd be surprised about
the support there is that there's plenty of crisis pregnancy
centers out there who will walk with you and help
you with resources, and that you are stronger than you think,
and that the gift of life and choosing life is
never the wrong choice. And it's not easy. It's not
(17:41):
even easy under the best of circumstances, but it's well
worth it. And I can't even put into words the
faithfulness of God through the years. Even in the midst
of the pain there is. There's moments of pain. But
but you can do this. And there are so many
more people out there that will support you and so
many resources out there that will help you and encourage
(18:02):
them to bring the father along if he's not, and
if they are the father of of a woman who's
pregnant to to stand by her doesn't necessarily mean you
have to get married, but to stand by her and
support her in this because it's well worth it. It's
well worth it to have the life I until you've
gone through it and done it. You don't realize that
(18:23):
no matter what. It's just it's so worth it. And
it's innately in us to protect our children. And you
will not regret choosing life.
S1 (18:31):
Rolland Warren of Carenet tells the story about his girlfriend
at the time who's going to college, and she became
pregnant and she was on the track of going into
medical school. She wanted to be a doctor, and she
was told at the clinic where they gave her the news. Yes,
you are pregnant, that if you go through, if you
(18:51):
have this child, you'll never be a doctor, you'll never graduate.
You'll never, never, never. You know all those things. And
not only did she have the baby, and not only
did she graduate and married Rowland, you know, they've been
husband and wife for decades now. Um, she she became
a decorated doctor in the military, in the Navy, I believe.
(19:15):
And all of those things, all of those fears that
they said and the things that they brought up, you'll never.
You'll never, you'll never. We're not true at all. And
I just I wanted people to hear, especially younger women
or middle aged women who are making that choice, to
hear your story today as a A confirmation of that
(19:36):
that yeah, absolutely. It's hard. And if you place the
child for adoption, that's hard to you didn't understand how
hard that was going to be. But you did it right.
S3 (19:47):
That's right. And even becoming a parent, um, with trace,
I've got to say, I've never worked so hard at
at being the type of person I want to be
and even trying to grow within my career since him.
There's something about having a child in your home or
having a child that makes a woman strive for more.
You know, it's just it's innately in us to, to
(20:09):
to just strive for more and to become better at
who we are and who God designed us to be.
And I worked in the pro-life industry for a while,
and I talked to a lot of women who were
out there who were post-abortive, and many of them, it
went the opposite way. They gave, you know, it caused
them great pain and great hurt. And unfortunately, you know,
(20:32):
life of promiscuity and sometimes alcohol and drugs because there
wasn't the support they needed at the time and the regret.
And so I'm here to say that even as a,
as a mom, you know, bringing trace into my life
when he was four, I have fought so hard for
him to be able to do travel soccer, to be
able to do things on a nonprofit salary because I
(20:54):
want what he him to have everything he potentially could.
You know, I'm reaching out to men at our church
so that he can have some impact by men in
the body of Christ. And and so he sees what
it's like to be a godly man. And then I'm trying,
you know, there's just something inside of us that when
we choose to parent, whether it's, you know, by birth
or through relative guardianship or whether it's through adoption, there's
(21:19):
something inside the female body to just and I think
men too, but I can't speak on behalf of them.
That makes you want to do more for your children.
S1 (21:26):
Yeah. You called because you wanted to hear what Amber
would say about trace and, you know, getting him to
bed and how he was kind of acting out and
that type of thing. Is that any better or about
the same now?
S3 (21:41):
I love the book you guys sent and it gets better.
You know, I have realized that he's a boy, and
when he's exhausted, it's just hard for him to maintain
and and have his emotions under control. But I'm that
book was a wonderful resource and I keep going back
to it. And I'm learning how to more gently and lovingly, um,
(22:03):
help him through those moments and to really embrace those,
even those, those times. Um, it's been very, very helpful.
And we're getting there. We're getting there.
S4 (22:13):
Together.
S1 (22:14):
And I'm so glad to hear that. Okay, so one
other thing that comes through your story, and that is
the response of the church. And I know that there
are people who would say today, you know, I got
pregnant out of wedlock and I was shunned. You know,
I had a bad experience with church. It sounds like
to me that the church came alongside you and bullied
(22:38):
you up through this time. And even now, you look
at the church as a place of giving you life
rather than a negative experience. Is that true?
S3 (22:50):
Somewhat. I think the enemy really got in my head
because when I was pregnant, I felt when I walked
into the church that people were looking at me at
the time with the judgmental views and things like that. Now,
32 years later, I realized they weren't at the very
moment in the time I was. I didn't want to
go to church. I was ashamed, I was ugly. I
(23:14):
felt that people were giving me that look. They never
said that. You know, they let me babysit their kids
still and they would talk to me. But that was
the shame I felt. Um, it wasn't until I ran
into that woman that I used to babysit for a
few years back that she said, I still remember you
on Mother's Day. I still hear, you know, pray for you.
That I realized, oh my goodness, all those years ago,
(23:37):
I was I wasn't allowing them to love on me
the way I should. I kind of went in, did
it when they asked me to babysit. I did because
I could make a little extra money. But now the
church is very, very actively involved in his life. But
it also it's not every single person, you know, it
takes years to some to kind of like keep asking
and it doesn't happen overnight. You have to stay involved.
(23:57):
You have to continue to to build those relationships within
the church body. And then all of a sudden people
start to rise to the surface and say, why don't
you come over for a game night? And then, you know,
they're married. So my son's able to see, you know,
a husband and wife in that atmosphere and in a
home and what it looks like. And, you know, somebody
(24:18):
might take us out fishing and we go as a
family or, you know, I had a friend of ours
that let us their fishing boat and their captain and
first mate, and we were able to go on a boat. Um,
so there's just different things to different people within the
community that have poured out to us and given us, um,
gifts that I couldn't do by myself. But it didn't.
It doesn't just happen. You don't just put it out
(24:39):
there once and and, you know, a group of people
come out and say, how can I come alongside you?
Because I do believe there's spiritual warfare. And the enemy
will try to stop that and you will get frustrated.
But if you continue to lovingly share your your heart
and your needs and being transparent, you'll be surprised at
how many people show up and come alongside you.
S4 (25:02):
Yeah.
S1 (25:02):
Oh, I so agree with that. Kinda. Thank you for
for sharing just a little bit of of the backstory,
you know, and the current story. I can hear it
in your voice. What what God has done, what God
is doing, what God is going to do. And thanks
for being faithful with that story today.
S3 (25:20):
Well, thank you for the opportunity. God bless you. And
I pray for your listeners and for whoever's out there hearing.
I pray that God will give them the wisdom and
the strength to do what's right, and for them to
be obedient to the call.
S1 (25:33):
Well, that is what we hope for you today. May
Kennedy's courage and the choice she made inform your life.
I also believe there might be somebody who heard that story,
and it brings up for you some deep regret and pain.
In our next segment, you're going to hear from two
women who made a different decision than Kenda. That's straight
ahead on Moody Radio. This is Chris Fabry live online
(26:08):
at Chris Fabry Lives. We've just heard Kenda Peterson's story
from South Florida, who reached out to us because of
a struggle in her own life as a single mom.
And then comes this story of an unplanned pregnancy and
her choice to have her daughter and then place her
in someone else's arms. but I know there might be
somebody listening today who doesn't have that same story. And
(26:31):
I want you to hear from two friends from Care Net.
I mentioned Care Net every day here, and the resources
they have that foster their pro abundant life approach. Counseling
women and men who are in the same situation can
have found herself in. But pro abundant life means they
don't just care for the unborn child. They do, but
they also care for everybody else in the equation. And
(26:53):
part of the everybody else is the woman or man
listening right now who chose abortion and who lives with
that choice the rest of their lives. The person who
hears Candy's story, and they're glad for Kenda, but that
story triggers some deep regret in their heart. So if
you have an unplanned pregnancy and you're trying to figure
out what do I do? Click the green connect button
(27:16):
at Org Run. Do not walk. There's real help and
hope for you and support and people who will walk
with you through this time. But if you have regret
today because of what you decided back there in the past,
and even if you feel the forgiveness of God but
you have a difficult time walking in that forgiveness day
(27:36):
by day, Carenet wants you to get on the Ark.
Ark stands for Abortion Recovery and Care. You can find
that at the website too. Again, click the green connect
button at Chris Fabry Livorno. Jill Marquis is the director
of Ark LaVette. Vassar is associate director of Ark, and
(27:57):
I've asked them to respond to Candace story and then
talk to the person who is struggling today. So Jill,
you first. Welcome back. Tell me what rolled around your
soul when you heard Candace story?
S5 (28:09):
Well, Chris, thanks so much for for having me back.
I really appreciate it. When I was listening to Kennedy's story,
the first thing that I wrote down was about disenfranchised
grief and how when abortion is part of our story
when we make that choice. We have no room. We're
not given any space to grieve that child. You know,
(28:32):
we've been sold that bill of goods, that this was
the best decision that you could make. Um, you know,
the abortion clinic sells this false hope, and it offers
counterfeit compassion. You know, it bills itself as the secular savior,
and it's really just devoid of love. And so I
think about we make this the decision for abortion, and
(28:56):
then we have all of these conflicting emotions thinking we've
done the best thing. But why do I feel this way?
Why am I sad? And that is that disenfranchised grief. Um,
and I can imagine that there are plenty of people
listening to this that are like me, who have made
that decision and have spent, you know, a lot of
(29:19):
time sitting in church. But because we haven't dealt with
those feelings. We haven't dealt with all of those emotions. Um,
we're still sidelined, you know, we know the saving grace
of Christ, but we still haven't walked through this true
healing process that helps you unpack all of the complexity
that comes with an abortion decision.
S1 (29:40):
And that's what you do every day. And you, it
is a privilege for you to do this because you
have walked through that yourself, right?
S5 (29:50):
Yes, yes. And what I want more than anything else
are for people to know Jesus and for people to
walk in that freedom, in that abundant life that he
offers us. And so many of us with an abortion
in our past, we we will start thinking this is
(30:12):
the unforgivable sin. Like, God can handle all the other
stuff except this. And we suffer in silence. And that's
what abortion recovery does, is it helps you unpack what
got you to the abortion clinic, what the fallout of
the decision has been in your life. It helps you
(30:34):
to look at all of these different aspects through a
biblical lens, and ultimately takes us to the foot of
the cross.
S1 (30:43):
Well, and I my my hope here today is that
we'll do exactly what you're talking about. But the struggle
is there are men and women who will begin to
hear Kennedy's story, and then they have to go away
and they won't hear the second half. But maybe, maybe
you just tuned in. So I want to get to you. LaVette,
how did you respond to what Kenda had to say?
S6 (31:07):
Thank you, Chris, for having me. And there was so
much to unpack in Kennedy's story, but one of the
things she mentioned was on Mother's Day, how it was
hard for her. Um, and it just made me reflect
that the title mother is something you cannot run from.
You cannot avoid it. Whether you choose life, abortion or adoption. Um,
(31:28):
kinda accepted the gift God gave her. And we know
in Psalms 127 three that children are a gift. They
are a gift. And so we could either accept or reject.
And myself, who is post-abortive, had two abortions. I rejected
that gift and that rejection closed doors where accepting can
(31:50):
open doors. And so just listening to her story, you know,
and listening to her struggle, sitting there in church on
Mother's Day just ruffled something in me, or rise something
in me of just how hard it is for the
mothers that's sitting right there in the church and hear
the celebration of Mother's Day, and she have to face
the abortion she had in her past. Like, where do
(32:13):
she go? Where do she go to unpack this.
S1 (32:17):
And that's why I wanted to have you two on.
Because clarinet and your abortion recovery and care. The arc
is is the place is one of the places. Of course,
there are some great resources around, but I wanted to
feature this. Uh, Jill told me that one of the
things that you also thought of was the story of Lazarus.
(32:39):
How does that come in here?
S6 (32:40):
Yes, yes, the story of Lazarus. I think we all celebrate.
Of course we do. John 11 and when we read
verse 44 where Jesus called Lazarus out, but we miss,
I mean, we read verse 43, but we miss verse 44,
where it calls the community to unbind him. And this
is what we need to do as the body of Christ,
(33:02):
as the church, to unbind the post-abortive men and women.
And we have to understand that the ripple effects of
abortion go out so much further than just the women
and men. And that's why it is so huge about
abundant life is generations to come. The children of the aborted,
the siblings that's left behind. The grandmothers, the grandfathers. So
(33:22):
as a community, we need to come alongside and help
unbind them. There is a part for the community to
do in this, and that's where the true celebration can happen.
S1 (33:33):
So how did that then? How did the unbinding, you know,
the unwrapping and I totally am with you. And I've
been reading in, uh, in Luke 13, the the woman
who was bent over for 18 years, you know, and
Jesus heals her, sees her, first of all. And how
do you see somebody who's bent over like that? You know,
(33:54):
she's lower than most of the other people around, but
he sees her and he summons her. He calls her,
and then she has this miraculous healing where she can
stand up straight and glorify God. That's what you want
for every woman, every man who's listening today, whether abortion
is in your past or not, that's what God can
do in your heart. But how do you start? Jill,
(34:16):
what was the first step that you had in that
whole process?
S5 (34:21):
My story is a little bit interesting in that I
was the volunteer director of women's ministries at my old
home church. And, um, you know, I came into that
position as somebody who really, like, knew almost nothing. I'm
living proof that God equips the people that he calls.
(34:42):
You don't have to know what you're doing. When God
calls you into something, he'll bring people alongside you. But
in that, when I when I first stepped into that
leadership role, I thought, oh my gosh, um, I have
this abortion in my past and I need to deal
with this, and I can't be the only one in
(35:02):
my church. And so I went to our senior pastor
and I said, hey, um, there is this stuff called
abortion recovery. And I think maybe we should have this
as part of our offering in our community care. And oh,
by the way, abortion is part of my story. Um,
(35:22):
and I really thought in that moment that my pastor was,
you know, going to tell me, okay, thanks. We don't
need you. Um, you know, I really thought that the
abortion would disqualify me for service. But he looked at
me and in that moment was really hands and feet
of Jesus and said, you're absolutely right. We need this
at our church, and you are the perfect person to
(35:43):
lead that. And so I jumped into it. Um, and,
you know, God has been, um, just taking me on
this incredible ride since then, but it was this, this
deep longing. I knew that something was broken. I mean,
(36:04):
I was in church, I was volunteering, I was engaged,
but something was holding. This was holding me back. And
so there were things that I couldn't fully engage in.
There were places that I didn't feel like I could
fully go. I couldn't be authentic. I couldn't be transparent
because I didn't want to. I didn't want to tell
(36:26):
anybody about this. I was so ashamed of this decision.
And so it wasn't until I went through an abortion
recovery study and really got to peel back the layers
and just see the incredible love of Christ and how
(36:47):
he had been with me through every step of it. Um,
that that I could really step into his love and
step into these areas that he was calling me to.
I mean, there was just such freedom that comes with
with that healing.
S1 (37:07):
So you began to believe that what God said was true.
You know you and I've looked at forgiveness this way.
It's like, can you forgive yourself? What you're doing when
you're forgiving yourself is accepting the forgiveness that God is
offering and saying, okay, I really believe this, and I'm
going to live. I'm going to believe it as I walk. LaVette.
(37:29):
Does that strike a nerve in your own soul?
S6 (37:33):
Oh yes it does. I'm sitting here cheering in my seat,
as you say that, Chris, because you know, who am
I not to accept it? Who am I not to
accept what Jesus Christ did on the cross for us?
That is, walking in true forgiveness? Um, I think about,
I look at and how Jill was sharing, you know,
here we are post-abortive. And God has made a message
(37:55):
out of the mess, right? Um, and our testimony. Revelation
1211 manga always dealing. I always talk about it is
the blood of the lamb and the sharing of their testimony.
And Chris, you was saying, how how do we notice
the bent over person, because once you share your testimony
and you have been set free, completely free by Jesus Christ,
(38:17):
you can see the people hurting. Once the veil is torn,
you can see the people amongst you that are hurting
from the pain of abortion. From just when you mentioned
the word abortion, how their body is shift or they'll
put their heads down. Um, so when you set, when
you're set free and can walk in true forgiveness from
(38:37):
Jesus Christ, completely knowing God, forgive you and you can
forgive yourself.
S4 (38:42):
Yeah.
S6 (38:42):
Ooh, that's a celebration, man.
S1 (38:45):
That's it. Who is right? That's LaVette. Vassar. She is
the associate director of Arc at Carenet. Jill Marquis is
the director of Arc Abortion Recovery and Care. And if
this conversation is hitting you in the heart today, I
want you to hear what LaVette just said again. This
can be a day of celebration for you. This can
(39:07):
be a day of freedom from the way the enemy
wants to hold you back. He wants to keep you
wrapped up. He wants to keep you bent over. No.
You can stand today forgiven and free with full, abundant life.
That doesn't mean you erase the truth of the past
that is still there. But what you do is allow
(39:29):
God access so he can release you from that bondage.
Click the link to connect at. All. Women or men
who are struggling with abortion in the past are so
important to connect because they're important to God. Click the
Green connect link at Chris Fabry Livorno, and we'll touch
(39:49):
on that topic of men and abortion coming up straight
ahead on Chris Fabry live.
S7 (40:02):
Jill Marquis and LaVette Vassar from Ark.
S1 (40:06):
Are with us. Abortion recovery and care from care net
go to the website.
S7 (40:10):
Chris Fabry.
S1 (40:11):
Livorno. Click the Green Care Net link and you'll see
more about that. And I'm hoping there's somebody listening today,
maybe a man. And that seems counterintuitive. How can a
man go through abortion recovery and care? I talk with
Lee Strobel. Lee Strobel told the story here of the
abortion that he helped a woman get. He wasn't involved,
(40:32):
except that she came to him and said, hey, would
you help? And he said, yeah, you know, I'll take
you there. And years later, he just had this deep
regret that he had participated in this and needed to
receive the forgiveness, you know, repent of it and talk
to God. So Jill talked to the man who's listening today,
(40:52):
who has that regret.
S5 (40:53):
You know, one of the one of the biggest fallacies
is that abortion doesn't have an effect on men. You know,
we have, as a society have been telling men to
sit down and shut up that if you don't have
a uterus, you don't have a voice in this. And
that is so intellectually dishonest, because what we find is
that men are as deeply affected by the abortion decision
(41:16):
as women are. How it manifests in their life looks
a little bit different, but they still carry the pain
of that. I mean, you think about it, men are
wired to provide and protect. And when an abortion decision
is made, particularly if the man says this is what
(41:38):
needs to be done, or if he says it's your
choice and goes along with, you know, doesn't doesn't stand
up for his child, he's standing in direct opposition to
the way that God made him. And and so he
now has this shattered perspective of himself. We talk in
(42:01):
both our women's and our men's study, and we use
this analogy that Choosing abortion is like being in a
car accident. You hit the windshield, it shatters, but it's
still there. But now you are navigating life through this
shattered perspective. And I asked the guys when we wrote
Reclaiming Fatherhood, hey, does that resonate with you? And all
(42:24):
five of these men said yes. That not only are
we navigating life, you know, trying to look through this
broken windshield, but when we go home, we look in
the mirror and the mirror is also shattered. And it
just affects them in very different ways. But for so
many men, what becomes their default position is anger. You know,
(42:49):
because they went against their nature. They thought that they
were providing for her. They thought that they were, you know,
protecting her, her future, their future, his future, when in reality,
they were turning their back on who it is God
had designed them to be. And that messes with you.
S4 (43:09):
Yeah.
S1 (43:10):
And there's real help and hope. And I've talked with
Rolland Warren about this, that sometimes men will say, well,
I will support whatever decision you make. And even that
is an abrogation that's stepping back. That's not standing up,
you know, for for who you are. So I want
every man who's listening, who has that regret in the
(43:31):
in the rear view to hear this, this arc abortion
recovery and care is for you. But I want to
hear it. We've got a couple of minutes left. LaVette,
I want you to talk to the woman who is listening,
who says, you know, I believe that God can forgive.
I believe in God, but I can't forgive me. And
I've never really known what that forgiveness is all about.
(43:54):
What do you say to that woman, LaVette?
S6 (43:57):
I mean, what I would say to her is pause
for a moment. Um, dive deeper into knowing who Christ is. Um,
because if she know he's a forgiving God, she is
not exempt from his forgiveness. Jill and I have been
blessed with taking abortion recovery into the prisons. And one
of the ladies in prison said, do not allow. She said,
(44:18):
your feelings are indicators, but not regulators over your lives.
And so I would want her to stop just for
a moment and examine what she's feeling, but what she
truly know about Jesus Christ. So hit the pause button
and dive deeper into knowing who Christ is and who
you are in Christ.
S1 (44:40):
And uh, going back to Luke 13, Jesus said, Satan
has bound this woman, a daughter of Abraham, for 18 years,
and he loosed her. He set her free, you know,
and unwrapped her. She could stand up again. And that
is available, that kind of freedom. If you've been wrapped
(45:00):
up by a decision that you made way back when.
And and you cannot walk. It's like you're bent over
with the weight of that. What Jill and LaVette are
saying here is there is freedom from that. You don't
have to walk in that, but you got to walk
toward Jesus. And Jill LaVette, I can't thank you enough
for coming alongside us. Jill. Any final words for our listeners?
S5 (45:25):
Yes. If if I might just speak to the pastors
and the ministry leaders for just one minute. When you
talk about the issue of life and I pray that
you do, please make sure that you have at the
ready some type of abortion recovery so that when you
start to speak on this, you can say to your audience,
(45:48):
for those of you who have this as part of
your story, we love you, we see you and we
want to care well for you. So here's what we have.
And you know, at Care Net, we would be happy
to to train the people in your church to have this.
I think about what you have in your community care.
If you have divorce, care and grief. Share and celebrate recovery.
(46:11):
Abortion recovery belongs right there with those ministries.
S1 (46:16):
Agree wholeheartedly and what a great way to end the
conversation today. Jill Marquis has been with us, director of
Arc LaVette, Vassar associate director of Arc, which stands for
Abortion Recovery and Care. You can find out more. We
have a link at Chris Fabry Livorno. Chris Livorno. Jill LaVette.
(46:38):
Thanks for joining us and responding to Kennedy's story today.
God bless you both.
S8 (46:44):
Thanks, Chris.
S1 (46:46):
Chris Fabry Live is a production of Moody Radio, a
ministry of Moody Bible Institute. Thanks for listening.
Today on Chris Fabry live all. We have such a
good story for you that is organic. It comes from
a listener to this program who called and asked the question,
and later we discovered her backstory. Her name is Kenda
and I want you to hear from her in the
first half of our broadcast today. And then in the
second half, I want you to hear from two guests
(00:27):
who are all about recovery from a choice that is
different than the one Kenda will describe. All of that
and more comes your way straight ahead at the radio
backyard fence. Get ready for some encouragement. Thanks for joining
us for a recorded edition of Chris Fabry Live! Don't
call us today, but I do encourage you to go
to the website. Chris Livorno a big thank you to
(00:50):
Ryan McConaughey doing all things technical. Tricia is our producer
and thank you friends and partners of this program. We
cannot do what we do without your Of participation. And
I want to highlight our back fence partners. Every Thursday
we send a video to those who give a gift
each month to support this program. It kind of pulls
back the curtain on the conversations we have our guests,
(01:13):
some of the responses that we receive, I think, show
you how your investment is paying dividends in people's lives
and hearts. And I think that's going to happen today
with Kennedy's story. So go to Chris. Org you'll see
how you can support us. Become a back fence partner
right there. I'd love to send you a copy of
my novel, The Promise of Jesse Woods. Chris Fabry lives.
(01:38):
Or you can call 866953. Every partner has access to
our thank you each month this month. It's an excellent
book by Pastor Colin Smith. Drive Through the Bible (866) 953-2279.
And thanks for your support of the radio backyard fence.
We had a guest in April named Amber Leah, and
(02:01):
she was vulnerable with us, with her story about the
anger that she had to deal with in her life
that kind of spilled over onto her children. And during
that program, we took a call from Kendra. And here's
a little bit of what Kendra said.
S2 (02:16):
I find that my son, I became a parent overnight
with him. My brother passed and his mother had abandoned
him and his biological mother. And at four, he lost
my brother and I stepped in, and he's now nine.
He turned nine in December. And, um, bedtime because he
plays sports and stuff. Bedtime and dinner seemed to be
(02:36):
the worst. I'll ask him over and over again, can
you please get ready first time?
S1 (02:41):
So you get the gist of Kennedy's question. She's a
single mom. She's trying to be both a tender mom
and the disciplinarian at the same time. And after her
call and after the program, Deb Solomon, who was producing
that day, said, hey, Chris Kennedy has a great story.
You ought to have her on and talk more about
(03:02):
what she went through. And that's what we're going to
do today. Uh, Kenda Peterson is with us, candid. Do
you remember that conversation?
S3 (03:10):
I do a little bit. Um, I think I shared
with her that, you know, when I was 17, I
had had a child and had chosen life and placed
her for adoption. And with the understanding that I was
being obedient to God when I had my daughter, I
asked God for one reason for me to keep her
(03:31):
that had nothing to do with me. And there was none.
It was my daughter I wanted her. She was my child.
And so I, out of obedience and a calling, I
had already chosen a family. But once I met her
and held her, it was a little more difficult to
say goodbye. Um. But I was obedient, and I chose
to hand her over to God and to that family
(03:52):
in the hospital that day, um, with the understanding that
God was going to keep his end of the deal,
and I was going to get married and have children.
And and then that never happened. And I was able
to become a parent because of my brother's passing. And
I love being a mom to trace, I love it. However, um,
(04:12):
it didn't come the way I thought I was going
to come, and I had chosen to place my daughter
for adoption specifically because I believe in the sanctity of
marriage and a mom and a dad, and I wanted
her to have both a mother and a father. And
then here I find myself raising this boy completely dependent
on God for the fathering.
S1 (04:34):
Yeah. And I think what Amber and I both said was,
we are so blown away by your, um, your commitment
to your son. He was your nephew, and now he's
your son. By the the love that you want to
pour into him. And yet, at the same time, realizing
this is a struggle. It's hard. You can be both people, though.
(04:56):
You're trying to be. So I remember a lot of
affirmation for you during that conversation.
S3 (05:03):
Well thank you, thank you. You know, we can't do
it without we can't do it without our our faith. Um, however,
I will say that it's amazing what God can do
in and through us when when we're asked to do it.
And I cannot emphasize enough the the impact of the
family of God. If I wasn't connected to a church
(05:25):
family and a church body, I don't know that I
could even be able to stand up straight or to
have that hope. Because even in my singleness before trace,
I found a great fulfillment in serving in the in
the body of Christ. I found great fulfillment in helping others.
And so I wasn't this single woman that was constantly
seeking and looking for a spouse. I would love for
(05:47):
someone to meet me and pursue me. However, there's great
fulfillment as a single person in the body of Christ
doesn't mean there's not sorrow. Doesn't mean there aren't days
that I cry on my way to work and say, Lord,
I still have this longing. Why is it fulfilled? But
he meets me where I am.
S1 (06:03):
Yeah. And that's the two rails. We talk with Ron
Deal about the two rails of grief. You know that
the the one side is true that that it's that
it's hard. There's lament. There are questions. There's mystery here.
We don't know why and all that. But the other
side of the rail is true as well. There is hope.
There's joy. And both of those exist at the same time.
(06:27):
Or kind of go back and forth. And I sense
that with your story. And I didn't remember you sent
an email. I was out, uh, all of July of 20, 24,
and you sent an email where you kind of described
your story. Can you take me back to 1990, early 1990s?
You were a teenager back then, right?
S3 (06:48):
Yes, yes. Um, I was 16 years old and had
my first little beat up old car. And, um, you know,
as most 16 year olds were doing, we were we
were getting, you know, playing volleyball on the beach and
doing things. And there was a party and everybody left
the party. I was I was known as a good
the good Christian girl. Um, you know, I was very, um,
(07:09):
boisterous in explaining that I, you know, was going to
save myself for my husband and this and that, and
everyone left the party. And then a young man, um,
kind of forced himself on me. It wasn't violent, but
I was too scared to, like, push off. I just
kind of. And, um, two and a half to three
months later, I found out I was pregnant after that,
and he had left the party, and I had no
way of contacting him or anything. And the very first thought,
(07:33):
of course, was, I need to have an abortion. But
because of the way I was raised and because we
talked about life and things like that in my home
and being raised in a Christian home, I chose life
and I chose to carry that child. And then April 28th,
she was born in 1992. And, um, I did not
initially want to give her up, but again, because I
(07:53):
had chosen a Christian family and I really made a
logical decision. Like, I went through a workbook through a
crisis pregnancy center on parenting, living with your parents, living
with a roommate, living alone, adoption. And when I looked
at it all logically, the most loving and responsible choice
at that time for me, I felt like and for
(08:14):
the child was adoption. And so I placed her for
adoption and into God's hands. And even with trace, can
I honestly say he's mine? They belong to God. Children
are a gift that we're entrusted with, but ultimately they
do belong to God. So I walked that path of adoption,
and then in, um, December 11th, about a year and
(08:36):
a half ago, my daughter found me and we were
able to meet each other a year ago for the
first time.
S1 (08:43):
That's Kendra Peterson, who called Chris Fabry live a few
weeks ago, and there she drops the bomb about what
happened with her daughter. Oh, there is more to come
from Kenda. And if this conversation has you struggling because
you made a different choice than she did, stay with us.
There is hope ahead on Chris Fabry live online Chris
(09:04):
Fabry Livorno. This is Chris Fabry live online at Chris
Fabry Livorno our programs recorded today and we're talking with
Kenda Peterson about an amazing twist to her story of
(09:24):
placing her child for adoption in 1992. And then in 2024,
she hears from her many years later. Kenda, did you
know what had happened to your daughter?
S3 (09:38):
I received pictures and letters for about six months, but
right after her first birthday there was no more contact.
I knew she was loved. I got a nice letter
from her, her adoptive father, telling me that they loved
and prayed for me and that she would always know
she was adopted and that I had made a great decision.
But other than that, for over 30 years I had
(09:59):
a hole in my heart and wondered, um, what happened
to her and if she was okay.
S1 (10:05):
Yeah. What did you do with that hole then? I mean,
were there you probably prayed for her. And you thought
about her. Did you think that you would ever see her?
S3 (10:15):
You know, the fact that she hadn't reached out to
me by the time she was 18? I kind of
thought she must not want to meet me. But I
prayed for her regularly and ironically, every single prayer I
prayed for her when I met her had come true.
She's a follower of Christ. She is married with three
children and went to school, was played music, sang everything.
(10:36):
I prayed for her and so it was just amazing
to see the faithfulness of God as I cried out
to her for the years. Um, but I honestly didn't
think I was going to meet her when she didn't
look for me. By the time she was 18.
S1 (10:49):
How did you get through those years then? Because the yearning,
the longing, the desire. And you said, you know, life
didn't turn out like you wanted. You wanted a husband.
You wanted to have a family. How did you get
through all that time?
S3 (11:04):
You know, there were some days and some weeks and
months that were hard and dark, and I questioned myself
and wondered if it. But I continued to cry out
to God, and I still do. You know, he became
my husband. He became my my counselor, my friend. I
would just cry out and, um, sometimes even get angry.
Go down to the beach. I live in South Florida.
I would go down to the beach and just talk
(11:25):
out loud and yell, and then just had this agreement
with God and with the Holy Spirit that after I
was done venting and after I was done questioning, that
I would just be still, and in every single time
the Holy Spirit would remind me of a Scripture, I
would never leave you or forsake you. I love you
with an everlasting love. These scriptures would just come to
(11:46):
my mind and I would, I would cry. But rest
assured in the fact that I serve a God who
loves me and has the best in store for me,
and that my goal in life and my purpose in
life is to glorify him no matter what. And sometimes
that means being vulnerable and hurting. But he is enough.
S1 (12:07):
We're in all those years. Were birthdays your daughter's birthday?
Was that a hard day or was it a glad day?
S3 (12:16):
Her birthday was hard. It was difficult. It was definitely
a time where I reflected. But the hardest day of
the year was Mother's Day. I had a lady I
babysat for that I ran into a few years back,
and she said she still remembers the first Mother's Day
at church with them having me stand because they wanted
to honor me, and me just weeping because my arms
were wet, empty. And, um, so for most of the
(12:38):
mother's days up until recently, if I'm honest, I just
skipped church on Mother's Day because it was just too painful.
Her birthday was hard and I would reflect, but because
there wasn't so much emphasis and so much focus, it
wasn't as deep of a hurt. But Mother's Day was
very difficult, especially serving at church and seeing everyone and
(13:00):
and going and trying so hard to stuff it, because
not many people know my story. So I would just
kind of try my best not to make, you know,
bring attention to myself. But it was painful.
S1 (13:12):
And that's what I'm hoping will happen here today. Kendall,
your vulnerability is going to speak into somebody else's life
who maybe isn't in the exact same situation, but they're
going to hear the hope and the way that you
held on to God, and more importantly, how he held
on to you through all of that, all the questions
and all the mystery and and everything that was going on.
(13:34):
Do you remember how you heard from your daughter? Was
it a phone call? Was it an email?
S3 (13:41):
It was funny because somebody tried calling me through Facebook
Messenger and it startled me at work. And so I
went in to look at it, and then I looked.
I had these messages from nine months earlier. She had
she had notified me through Facebook Messenger the day before
Mother's Day, and I didn't read it until December. And
(14:04):
I was at work and I walked down my office,
and the ladies I work with know my story. I said,
my daughter, I think my daughter they placed for adoption
notified me. I think she reached out. And so I
read the I read the message, which I still have
in my phone, and I messaged her back and said,
I'm so sorry, I just saw this. I think I
think you're right. I think I'm your adoptive mother. And
(14:26):
she responded right away. And um, so that was in
May and then June 14th, which God is so good at,
at he just that was the day my brother who
passed birthday is the day I got to meet her.
So he redeemed even a bitter, very sorrowful time. And
my mother and my life. Um, we got to meet her, actually,
(14:47):
on Brad's birthday last year.
S1 (14:50):
Oh, okay. So tell me about that. Where did she
come to see you? Did you go to see her?
S3 (14:56):
We met in the middle. So she was adopted about
two hours north of where I live currently, and then
moved to the panhandle of Florida. And so we met
in the middle. Her husband had a business, um, thing
going on in the summer for about a week in
the summer in Jacksonville. So I got an Airbnb and
they were in a hotel, and we, um, I got
(15:16):
the Airbnb thinking we could sit down and have, you know,
and talk and, you know, if it went well, I
didn't know how it was going to go. And so
we got an Airbnb, and then I drove up and
she said she'd come see me. And ironically, I thought
we were 18 miles away and we were 1.8 miles away.
So when I met her, I didn't have my makeup
on or anything. I looked exhausted, but it was something else,
(15:38):
you know, it went as well as it could go. And, um,
her husband and my family laughed hysterically because they saw
how her mannerisms are like and how much we look like.
I don't know, because I don't see my mannerisms, but, um,
they were just giggling. And then her parents drove up
the next day or two just to meet me. And, um,
(15:58):
that was that was a little hard because I saw
the mom and I just held her and hugged her
and cried and said, thank you for taking such good
care of her. Wow. And so I got to meet her, um,
her adoptive mother and father as well.
S1 (16:11):
So you were an instant grandmother then?
S3 (16:13):
Yeah. Yeah. So I had I have a grandson who
was a few years older than my son, um, a
grandson who's a year younger and then a brand new
baby who was only a couple weeks old at the time.
So a little girl. So I have three grandchildren now
as well.
S1 (16:30):
Yeah. Yeah. It's just an amazing story of God's grace.
And and this happens in a lot of different families,
you know. And I've heard these kinds of stories through
the years. They always warm my heart. But I also
know that there are stories that aren't like that didn't
end like this, because the choice was made to terminate
(16:51):
the life of the child. And I want you to
speak to the young woman or middle aged woman or man.
You know, who's making the helping make the decision. What
would you say to that person who's pregnant and who
is scared and who is saying, you know, I just
my life is going to be so radically different if
(17:11):
I go through with, you know, all of those things,
all those fears that they have. What would you say
to her?
S3 (17:18):
I would say, reach out to those that you know,
love and care for you, because you'd be surprised about
the support there is that there's plenty of crisis pregnancy
centers out there who will walk with you and help
you with resources, and that you are stronger than you think,
and that the gift of life and choosing life is
never the wrong choice. And it's not easy. It's not
(17:41):
even easy under the best of circumstances, but it's well
worth it. And I can't even put into words the
faithfulness of God through the years. Even in the midst
of the pain there is. There's moments of pain. But
but you can do this. And there are so many
more people out there that will support you and so
many resources out there that will help you and encourage
(18:02):
them to bring the father along if he's not, and
if they are the father of of a woman who's
pregnant to to stand by her doesn't necessarily mean you
have to get married, but to stand by her and
support her in this because it's well worth it. It's
well worth it to have the life I until you've
gone through it and done it. You don't realize that
(18:23):
no matter what. It's just it's so worth it. And
it's innately in us to protect our children. And you
will not regret choosing life.
S1 (18:31):
Rolland Warren of Carenet tells the story about his girlfriend
at the time who's going to college, and she became
pregnant and she was on the track of going into
medical school. She wanted to be a doctor, and she
was told at the clinic where they gave her the news. Yes,
you are pregnant, that if you go through, if you
(18:51):
have this child, you'll never be a doctor, you'll never graduate.
You'll never, never, never. You know all those things. And
not only did she have the baby, and not only
did she graduate and married Rowland, you know, they've been
husband and wife for decades now. Um, she she became
a decorated doctor in the military, in the Navy, I believe.
(19:15):
And all of those things, all of those fears that
they said and the things that they brought up, you'll never.
You'll never, you'll never. We're not true at all. And
I just I wanted people to hear, especially younger women
or middle aged women who are making that choice, to
hear your story today as a A confirmation of that
(19:36):
that yeah, absolutely. It's hard. And if you place the
child for adoption, that's hard to you didn't understand how
hard that was going to be. But you did it right.
S3 (19:47):
That's right. And even becoming a parent, um, with trace,
I've got to say, I've never worked so hard at
at being the type of person I want to be
and even trying to grow within my career since him.
There's something about having a child in your home or
having a child that makes a woman strive for more.
You know, it's just it's innately in us to, to
(20:09):
to just strive for more and to become better at
who we are and who God designed us to be.
And I worked in the pro-life industry for a while,
and I talked to a lot of women who were
out there who were post-abortive, and many of them, it
went the opposite way. They gave, you know, it caused
them great pain and great hurt. And unfortunately, you know,
(20:32):
life of promiscuity and sometimes alcohol and drugs because there
wasn't the support they needed at the time and the regret.
And so I'm here to say that even as a,
as a mom, you know, bringing trace into my life
when he was four, I have fought so hard for
him to be able to do travel soccer, to be
able to do things on a nonprofit salary because I
(20:54):
want what he him to have everything he potentially could.
You know, I'm reaching out to men at our church
so that he can have some impact by men in
the body of Christ. And and so he sees what
it's like to be a godly man. And then I'm trying,
you know, there's just something inside of us that when
we choose to parent, whether it's, you know, by birth
or through relative guardianship or whether it's through adoption, there's
(21:19):
something inside the female body to just and I think
men too, but I can't speak on behalf of them.
That makes you want to do more for your children.
S1 (21:26):
Yeah. You called because you wanted to hear what Amber
would say about trace and, you know, getting him to
bed and how he was kind of acting out and
that type of thing. Is that any better or about
the same now?
S3 (21:41):
I love the book you guys sent and it gets better.
You know, I have realized that he's a boy, and
when he's exhausted, it's just hard for him to maintain
and and have his emotions under control. But I'm that
book was a wonderful resource and I keep going back
to it. And I'm learning how to more gently and lovingly, um,
(22:03):
help him through those moments and to really embrace those,
even those, those times. Um, it's been very, very helpful.
And we're getting there. We're getting there.
S4 (22:13):
Together.
S1 (22:14):
And I'm so glad to hear that. Okay, so one
other thing that comes through your story, and that is
the response of the church. And I know that there
are people who would say today, you know, I got
pregnant out of wedlock and I was shunned. You know,
I had a bad experience with church. It sounds like
to me that the church came alongside you and bullied
(22:38):
you up through this time. And even now, you look
at the church as a place of giving you life
rather than a negative experience. Is that true?
S3 (22:50):
Somewhat. I think the enemy really got in my head
because when I was pregnant, I felt when I walked
into the church that people were looking at me at
the time with the judgmental views and things like that. Now,
32 years later, I realized they weren't at the very
moment in the time I was. I didn't want to
go to church. I was ashamed, I was ugly. I
(23:14):
felt that people were giving me that look. They never
said that. You know, they let me babysit their kids
still and they would talk to me. But that was
the shame I felt. Um, it wasn't until I ran
into that woman that I used to babysit for a
few years back that she said, I still remember you
on Mother's Day. I still hear, you know, pray for you.
That I realized, oh my goodness, all those years ago,
(23:37):
I was I wasn't allowing them to love on me
the way I should. I kind of went in, did
it when they asked me to babysit. I did because
I could make a little extra money. But now the
church is very, very actively involved in his life. But
it also it's not every single person, you know, it
takes years to some to kind of like keep asking
and it doesn't happen overnight. You have to stay involved.
(23:57):
You have to continue to to build those relationships within
the church body. And then all of a sudden people
start to rise to the surface and say, why don't
you come over for a game night? And then, you know,
they're married. So my son's able to see, you know,
a husband and wife in that atmosphere and in a
home and what it looks like. And, you know, somebody
(24:18):
might take us out fishing and we go as a
family or, you know, I had a friend of ours
that let us their fishing boat and their captain and
first mate, and we were able to go on a boat. Um,
so there's just different things to different people within the
community that have poured out to us and given us, um,
gifts that I couldn't do by myself. But it didn't.
It doesn't just happen. You don't just put it out
(24:39):
there once and and, you know, a group of people
come out and say, how can I come alongside you?
Because I do believe there's spiritual warfare. And the enemy
will try to stop that and you will get frustrated.
But if you continue to lovingly share your your heart
and your needs and being transparent, you'll be surprised at
how many people show up and come alongside you.
S4 (25:02):
Yeah.
S1 (25:02):
Oh, I so agree with that. Kinda. Thank you for
for sharing just a little bit of of the backstory,
you know, and the current story. I can hear it
in your voice. What what God has done, what God
is doing, what God is going to do. And thanks
for being faithful with that story today.
S3 (25:20):
Well, thank you for the opportunity. God bless you. And
I pray for your listeners and for whoever's out there hearing.
I pray that God will give them the wisdom and
the strength to do what's right, and for them to
be obedient to the call.
S1 (25:33):
Well, that is what we hope for you today. May
Kennedy's courage and the choice she made inform your life.
I also believe there might be somebody who heard that story,
and it brings up for you some deep regret and pain.
In our next segment, you're going to hear from two
women who made a different decision than Kenda. That's straight
ahead on Moody Radio. This is Chris Fabry live online
(26:08):
at Chris Fabry Lives. We've just heard Kenda Peterson's story
from South Florida, who reached out to us because of
a struggle in her own life as a single mom.
And then comes this story of an unplanned pregnancy and
her choice to have her daughter and then place her
in someone else's arms. but I know there might be
somebody listening today who doesn't have that same story. And
(26:31):
I want you to hear from two friends from Care Net.
I mentioned Care Net every day here, and the resources
they have that foster their pro abundant life approach. Counseling
women and men who are in the same situation can
have found herself in. But pro abundant life means they
don't just care for the unborn child. They do, but
they also care for everybody else in the equation. And
(26:53):
part of the everybody else is the woman or man
listening right now who chose abortion and who lives with
that choice the rest of their lives. The person who
hears Candy's story, and they're glad for Kenda, but that
story triggers some deep regret in their heart. So if
you have an unplanned pregnancy and you're trying to figure
out what do I do? Click the green connect button
(27:16):
at Org Run. Do not walk. There's real help and
hope for you and support and people who will walk
with you through this time. But if you have regret
today because of what you decided back there in the past,
and even if you feel the forgiveness of God but
you have a difficult time walking in that forgiveness day
(27:36):
by day, Carenet wants you to get on the Ark.
Ark stands for Abortion Recovery and Care. You can find
that at the website too. Again, click the green connect
button at Chris Fabry Livorno. Jill Marquis is the director
of Ark LaVette. Vassar is associate director of Ark, and
(27:57):
I've asked them to respond to Candace story and then
talk to the person who is struggling today. So Jill,
you first. Welcome back. Tell me what rolled around your
soul when you heard Candace story?
S5 (28:09):
Well, Chris, thanks so much for for having me back.
I really appreciate it. When I was listening to Kennedy's story,
the first thing that I wrote down was about disenfranchised
grief and how when abortion is part of our story
when we make that choice. We have no room. We're
not given any space to grieve that child. You know,
(28:32):
we've been sold that bill of goods, that this was
the best decision that you could make. Um, you know,
the abortion clinic sells this false hope, and it offers
counterfeit compassion. You know, it bills itself as the secular savior,
and it's really just devoid of love. And so I
think about we make this the decision for abortion, and
(28:56):
then we have all of these conflicting emotions thinking we've
done the best thing. But why do I feel this way?
Why am I sad? And that is that disenfranchised grief. Um,
and I can imagine that there are plenty of people
listening to this that are like me, who have made
that decision and have spent, you know, a lot of
(29:19):
time sitting in church. But because we haven't dealt with
those feelings. We haven't dealt with all of those emotions. Um,
we're still sidelined, you know, we know the saving grace
of Christ, but we still haven't walked through this true
healing process that helps you unpack all of the complexity
that comes with an abortion decision.
S1 (29:40):
And that's what you do every day. And you, it
is a privilege for you to do this because you
have walked through that yourself, right?
S5 (29:50):
Yes, yes. And what I want more than anything else
are for people to know Jesus and for people to
walk in that freedom, in that abundant life that he
offers us. And so many of us with an abortion
in our past, we we will start thinking this is
(30:12):
the unforgivable sin. Like, God can handle all the other
stuff except this. And we suffer in silence. And that's
what abortion recovery does, is it helps you unpack what
got you to the abortion clinic, what the fallout of
the decision has been in your life. It helps you
(30:34):
to look at all of these different aspects through a
biblical lens, and ultimately takes us to the foot of
the cross.
S1 (30:43):
Well, and I my my hope here today is that
we'll do exactly what you're talking about. But the struggle
is there are men and women who will begin to
hear Kennedy's story, and then they have to go away
and they won't hear the second half. But maybe, maybe
you just tuned in. So I want to get to you. LaVette,
how did you respond to what Kenda had to say?
S6 (31:07):
Thank you, Chris, for having me. And there was so
much to unpack in Kennedy's story, but one of the
things she mentioned was on Mother's Day, how it was
hard for her. Um, and it just made me reflect
that the title mother is something you cannot run from.
You cannot avoid it. Whether you choose life, abortion or adoption. Um,
(31:28):
kinda accepted the gift God gave her. And we know
in Psalms 127 three that children are a gift. They
are a gift. And so we could either accept or reject.
And myself, who is post-abortive, had two abortions. I rejected
that gift and that rejection closed doors where accepting can
(31:50):
open doors. And so just listening to her story, you know,
and listening to her struggle, sitting there in church on
Mother's Day just ruffled something in me, or rise something
in me of just how hard it is for the
mothers that's sitting right there in the church and hear
the celebration of Mother's Day, and she have to face
the abortion she had in her past. Like, where do
(32:13):
she go? Where do she go to unpack this.
S1 (32:17):
And that's why I wanted to have you two on.
Because clarinet and your abortion recovery and care. The arc
is is the place is one of the places. Of course,
there are some great resources around, but I wanted to
feature this. Uh, Jill told me that one of the
things that you also thought of was the story of Lazarus.
(32:39):
How does that come in here?
S6 (32:40):
Yes, yes, the story of Lazarus. I think we all celebrate.
Of course we do. John 11 and when we read
verse 44 where Jesus called Lazarus out, but we miss,
I mean, we read verse 43, but we miss verse 44,
where it calls the community to unbind him. And this
is what we need to do as the body of Christ,
(33:02):
as the church, to unbind the post-abortive men and women.
And we have to understand that the ripple effects of
abortion go out so much further than just the women
and men. And that's why it is so huge about
abundant life is generations to come. The children of the aborted,
the siblings that's left behind. The grandmothers, the grandfathers. So
(33:22):
as a community, we need to come alongside and help
unbind them. There is a part for the community to
do in this, and that's where the true celebration can happen.
S1 (33:33):
So how did that then? How did the unbinding, you know,
the unwrapping and I totally am with you. And I've
been reading in, uh, in Luke 13, the the woman
who was bent over for 18 years, you know, and
Jesus heals her, sees her, first of all. And how
do you see somebody who's bent over like that? You know,
(33:54):
she's lower than most of the other people around, but
he sees her and he summons her. He calls her,
and then she has this miraculous healing where she can
stand up straight and glorify God. That's what you want
for every woman, every man who's listening today, whether abortion
is in your past or not, that's what God can
do in your heart. But how do you start? Jill,
(34:16):
what was the first step that you had in that
whole process?
S5 (34:21):
My story is a little bit interesting in that I
was the volunteer director of women's ministries at my old
home church. And, um, you know, I came into that
position as somebody who really, like, knew almost nothing. I'm
living proof that God equips the people that he calls.
(34:42):
You don't have to know what you're doing. When God
calls you into something, he'll bring people alongside you. But
in that, when I when I first stepped into that
leadership role, I thought, oh my gosh, um, I have
this abortion in my past and I need to deal
with this, and I can't be the only one in
(35:02):
my church. And so I went to our senior pastor
and I said, hey, um, there is this stuff called
abortion recovery. And I think maybe we should have this
as part of our offering in our community care. And oh,
by the way, abortion is part of my story. Um,
(35:22):
and I really thought in that moment that my pastor was,
you know, going to tell me, okay, thanks. We don't
need you. Um, you know, I really thought that the
abortion would disqualify me for service. But he looked at
me and in that moment was really hands and feet
of Jesus and said, you're absolutely right. We need this
at our church, and you are the perfect person to
(35:43):
lead that. And so I jumped into it. Um, and,
you know, God has been, um, just taking me on
this incredible ride since then, but it was this, this
deep longing. I knew that something was broken. I mean,
(36:04):
I was in church, I was volunteering, I was engaged,
but something was holding. This was holding me back. And
so there were things that I couldn't fully engage in.
There were places that I didn't feel like I could
fully go. I couldn't be authentic. I couldn't be transparent
because I didn't want to. I didn't want to tell
(36:26):
anybody about this. I was so ashamed of this decision.
And so it wasn't until I went through an abortion
recovery study and really got to peel back the layers
and just see the incredible love of Christ and how
(36:47):
he had been with me through every step of it. Um,
that that I could really step into his love and
step into these areas that he was calling me to.
I mean, there was just such freedom that comes with
with that healing.
S1 (37:07):
So you began to believe that what God said was true.
You know you and I've looked at forgiveness this way.
It's like, can you forgive yourself? What you're doing when
you're forgiving yourself is accepting the forgiveness that God is
offering and saying, okay, I really believe this, and I'm
going to live. I'm going to believe it as I walk. LaVette.
(37:29):
Does that strike a nerve in your own soul?
S6 (37:33):
Oh yes it does. I'm sitting here cheering in my seat,
as you say that, Chris, because you know, who am
I not to accept it? Who am I not to
accept what Jesus Christ did on the cross for us?
That is, walking in true forgiveness? Um, I think about,
I look at and how Jill was sharing, you know,
here we are post-abortive. And God has made a message
(37:55):
out of the mess, right? Um, and our testimony. Revelation
1211 manga always dealing. I always talk about it is
the blood of the lamb and the sharing of their testimony.
And Chris, you was saying, how how do we notice
the bent over person, because once you share your testimony
and you have been set free, completely free by Jesus Christ,
(38:17):
you can see the people hurting. Once the veil is torn,
you can see the people amongst you that are hurting
from the pain of abortion. From just when you mentioned
the word abortion, how their body is shift or they'll
put their heads down. Um, so when you set, when
you're set free and can walk in true forgiveness from
(38:37):
Jesus Christ, completely knowing God, forgive you and you can
forgive yourself.
S4 (38:42):
Yeah.
S6 (38:42):
Ooh, that's a celebration, man.
S1 (38:45):
That's it. Who is right? That's LaVette. Vassar. She is
the associate director of Arc at Carenet. Jill Marquis is
the director of Arc Abortion Recovery and Care. And if
this conversation is hitting you in the heart today, I
want you to hear what LaVette just said again. This
can be a day of celebration for you. This can
(39:07):
be a day of freedom from the way the enemy
wants to hold you back. He wants to keep you
wrapped up. He wants to keep you bent over. No.
You can stand today forgiven and free with full, abundant life.
That doesn't mean you erase the truth of the past
that is still there. But what you do is allow
(39:29):
God access so he can release you from that bondage.
Click the link to connect at. All. Women or men
who are struggling with abortion in the past are so
important to connect because they're important to God. Click the
Green connect link at Chris Fabry Livorno, and we'll touch
(39:49):
on that topic of men and abortion coming up straight
ahead on Chris Fabry live.
S7 (40:02):
Jill Marquis and LaVette Vassar from Ark.
S1 (40:06):
Are with us. Abortion recovery and care from care net
go to the website.
S7 (40:10):
Chris Fabry.
S1 (40:11):
Livorno. Click the Green Care Net link and you'll see
more about that. And I'm hoping there's somebody listening today,
maybe a man. And that seems counterintuitive. How can a
man go through abortion recovery and care? I talk with
Lee Strobel. Lee Strobel told the story here of the
abortion that he helped a woman get. He wasn't involved,
(40:32):
except that she came to him and said, hey, would
you help? And he said, yeah, you know, I'll take
you there. And years later, he just had this deep
regret that he had participated in this and needed to
receive the forgiveness, you know, repent of it and talk
to God. So Jill talked to the man who's listening today,
(40:52):
who has that regret.
S5 (40:53):
You know, one of the one of the biggest fallacies
is that abortion doesn't have an effect on men. You know,
we have, as a society have been telling men to
sit down and shut up that if you don't have
a uterus, you don't have a voice in this. And
that is so intellectually dishonest, because what we find is
that men are as deeply affected by the abortion decision
(41:16):
as women are. How it manifests in their life looks
a little bit different, but they still carry the pain
of that. I mean, you think about it, men are
wired to provide and protect. And when an abortion decision
is made, particularly if the man says this is what
(41:38):
needs to be done, or if he says it's your
choice and goes along with, you know, doesn't doesn't stand
up for his child, he's standing in direct opposition to
the way that God made him. And and so he
now has this shattered perspective of himself. We talk in
(42:01):
both our women's and our men's study, and we use
this analogy that Choosing abortion is like being in a
car accident. You hit the windshield, it shatters, but it's
still there. But now you are navigating life through this
shattered perspective. And I asked the guys when we wrote
Reclaiming Fatherhood, hey, does that resonate with you? And all
(42:24):
five of these men said yes. That not only are
we navigating life, you know, trying to look through this
broken windshield, but when we go home, we look in
the mirror and the mirror is also shattered. And it
just affects them in very different ways. But for so
many men, what becomes their default position is anger. You know,
(42:49):
because they went against their nature. They thought that they
were providing for her. They thought that they were, you know,
protecting her, her future, their future, his future, when in reality,
they were turning their back on who it is God
had designed them to be. And that messes with you.
S4 (43:09):
Yeah.
S1 (43:10):
And there's real help and hope. And I've talked with
Rolland Warren about this, that sometimes men will say, well,
I will support whatever decision you make. And even that
is an abrogation that's stepping back. That's not standing up,
you know, for for who you are. So I want
every man who's listening, who has that regret in the
(43:31):
in the rear view to hear this, this arc abortion
recovery and care is for you. But I want to
hear it. We've got a couple of minutes left. LaVette,
I want you to talk to the woman who is listening,
who says, you know, I believe that God can forgive.
I believe in God, but I can't forgive me. And
I've never really known what that forgiveness is all about.
(43:54):
What do you say to that woman, LaVette?
S6 (43:57):
I mean, what I would say to her is pause
for a moment. Um, dive deeper into knowing who Christ is. Um,
because if she know he's a forgiving God, she is
not exempt from his forgiveness. Jill and I have been
blessed with taking abortion recovery into the prisons. And one
of the ladies in prison said, do not allow. She said,
(44:18):
your feelings are indicators, but not regulators over your lives.
And so I would want her to stop just for
a moment and examine what she's feeling, but what she
truly know about Jesus Christ. So hit the pause button
and dive deeper into knowing who Christ is and who
you are in Christ.
S1 (44:40):
And uh, going back to Luke 13, Jesus said, Satan
has bound this woman, a daughter of Abraham, for 18 years,
and he loosed her. He set her free, you know,
and unwrapped her. She could stand up again. And that
is available, that kind of freedom. If you've been wrapped
(45:00):
up by a decision that you made way back when.
And and you cannot walk. It's like you're bent over
with the weight of that. What Jill and LaVette are
saying here is there is freedom from that. You don't
have to walk in that, but you got to walk
toward Jesus. And Jill LaVette, I can't thank you enough
for coming alongside us. Jill. Any final words for our listeners?
S5 (45:25):
Yes. If if I might just speak to the pastors
and the ministry leaders for just one minute. When you
talk about the issue of life and I pray that
you do, please make sure that you have at the
ready some type of abortion recovery so that when you
start to speak on this, you can say to your audience,
(45:48):
for those of you who have this as part of
your story, we love you, we see you and we
want to care well for you. So here's what we have.
And you know, at Care Net, we would be happy
to to train the people in your church to have this.
I think about what you have in your community care.
If you have divorce, care and grief. Share and celebrate recovery.
(46:11):
Abortion recovery belongs right there with those ministries.
S1 (46:16):
Agree wholeheartedly and what a great way to end the
conversation today. Jill Marquis has been with us, director of
Arc LaVette, Vassar associate director of Arc, which stands for
Abortion Recovery and Care. You can find out more. We
have a link at Chris Fabry Livorno. Chris Livorno. Jill LaVette.
(46:38):
Thanks for joining us and responding to Kennedy's story today.
God bless you both.
S8 (46:44):
Thanks, Chris.
S1 (46:46):
Chris Fabry Live is a production of Moody Radio, a
ministry of Moody Bible Institute. Thanks for listening.
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