April 11, 2025 • 47 mins
Instead of being an anxious parent, become a praying parent. Author and speaker Dr. Erwin Lutzer provides a practical guide that might transform your prayer life. You'll learn how to pray specific Scriptures and intercede for the next generation. If you're concerned about your children or grandchildren and you want to go beyond repetitious prayers, don't miss an encore presentation of Chris Fabry Live.
Resource featured:
A Practical Guide for Praying Parents
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Episode Transcript
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S1 (00:05):
It is the most powerful thing you can do for
the next generation. It's the most powerful thing you can
do for our culture. For all the divisions we see
the social upheaval. It's the most powerful thing you can
do for your own heart or any other struggle that
you're facing right now. But many Christians often feel powerless
(00:26):
in prayer. You get frustrated. You get discouraged. You wonder
if God is really hearing what you're praying, or whether
or not you've found the right formula. If you have
children or grandchildren that you're praying for and you want
to go beyond the bounds of God bless Bobby and
Tammy and Susie and Emily. Today's program at the back
fence is for you, and it's something a little different
(00:49):
for a Friday that I think is really going to
be good. Doctor Erwin Lutzer is going to walk us
through a practical guide for praying parents. That is our
thank you all this month to anyone who supports us
here at the back fence. And my hope today is
to help alleviate some of the frustrations, some of the
hopelessness maybe that you might be feeling, especially if you're
(01:12):
a parent of a prodigal and relieves some of the
anxiety of parents who look at the situation in the
world around us and see all the warning signs and
the social media problems that are flashing red. What do
you do with all those feelings that keep you up
late at night? That's what we're going to talk about tonight.
And if at any point in the hour you say, boy,
(01:33):
I don't have the copy of that book and I
need it. Call us. Give a gift of any size.
We'd love to put it in your hands. 8669538669532279. Or
go to Chris Fabriclive. Org. You'll not only help your
own heart be motivated to pray and not give up,
(01:54):
but you'll also help us do what we do here
each day at the radio backyard fence. The website again
Chris Fabry Livorno, Fabry. Scroll down to see how you
can become a friend or partner with us today. Since
our program is recorded today, we won't be taking your questions.
But let me thank Ryan McConaughey doing all things technical.
(02:15):
And Tricia, who is our producer. You thought I forgot,
didn't you? Huh? How could I forget the fabulous Fabry Friday? Sigh.
Especially since this past Tuesday, Doctor Charles Stone talked about
sniff breathing and what it can do for us, and
it sounded an awful lot like the side of me.
Let's go. Here's what happens when you participate in the
(02:36):
fabulous Fabry Friday. Sigh one. We oxygenate your blood. Two
we get your endorphins going. Three we raise your serotonin level.
Four we promote lymphatic drainage, and five, we stimulate your
parasympathetic system. That's why we call it five love languages.
We also stimulate your vagus nerve. We help you release acetylcholine.
(02:57):
And don't you dare forget what it does to cortisol. Dissipation.
Take in four seconds of air through your nose. Hold
it for four seconds. And then, as you release that
air through your mouth, push on the left side of
your rib cage. To get rid of all that bad
carbon dioxide. Give a sigh today for people who've prayed
for you and for those on your heart today. Friends, coworkers,
(03:17):
neighbors who are struggling. But especially if you're a parent
and that son or daughter or grandson or granddaughter is
heavy on your heart today, don't just sigh. Lean into
the mercy and grace and love of God for that relative.
The fabulous favorite Friday size. Brought to you by Backfence
partners and friends who generously contribute to this program. Thank you,
(03:40):
thank you, thank you again. Today's program is recorded, but
you're going to hear callers today, so don't let that
confuse you. The question we posted on Facebook when we
first aired this conversation was, what's your number one prayer
request for your children. You'll hear callers answering. Answer that
coming up. And I really hope this program will be
(04:01):
a breakthrough in a lot of ways for you. The
biggest being your prayers matter. Do not give up. Here
he is, Doctor Erwin Lutzer, pastor emeritus of the Moody
Church in Chicago, an award winning prolific author. You hear
him on Running to Win and other programs. Featured resource,
again is a practical guide for praying parents. Doctor Lutzer,
(04:24):
how are you doing today?
S2 (04:25):
So glad to be with you again, Chris. And uh, yes,
I hope that everyone will get close to the radio
or however they are listening to this, because this could
be life changing for them. I have a friend in
Canada who gave this book to a number of families,
and he says it was transforming in terms of their
prayer life and relationships. So, uh, we're going to be
(04:48):
offering some hope and some instruction today.
S1 (04:51):
Here's what I'm picking up from the book. This is
not about finding the secret handshake with God to get
him to do what I want him to do. This
is about full dependence and trust in him so that
he changes me as I pray for those I love.
Am I getting it?
S2 (05:10):
You are. You are. In fact, one of the first
things I say is when we begin to pray for
our children, we ought to, first of all, pray for ourselves.
Lord change me. And I say that, Chris, because here
at the Moody Church, many years ago, we had prayer
meetings for a whole month. Not every night, but I
(05:32):
mean our regular prayer meeting. And we called it pops.
Pops means parents of prodigals. So we doubled our size
here at prayer meeting, because I was surprised at the
number of parents who had prodigals. And we said that
we are going to intercede on behalf of your prodigal.
(05:54):
So when people came here to the church and they'd
give us the name of their child, I asked their
permission if I might ask questions regarding the kind of
home that the child was reared in. You know, was
there divorce? Was there alcoholism? Was there other kinds of
abuse or whatever? And I did that so that parents
(06:16):
might see that sometimes they have contributed to their their
children's waywardness. And so it's very important for us to
ask the question, how does the Lord want to change me?
There are two different kinds of parents that oftentimes spawn prodigals.
And of course, there are very good parents who also
(06:39):
have prodigals, by the way. But there are two kinds.
And that is the one where there has been moral failure.
And so they lose their moral credibility with their children.
And the other is very self-righteous, buttoned up Christians who
believe that everything is to be done right and the
(07:00):
child is supposed to obey, and there's no allowance made
for their humanness. And the child grows up in rebellion
against the parents and leaves home and says, I hate
their God. And so I hate I hate my dad
and I hate his God, and they walk the other way.
S1 (07:20):
Yeah, that's one of the things that I excerpted here
for today. I've discovered you write, I've discovered that children
who are brought up with strict, self-righteous parents are often
the hardest to win back to the faith. They are
fed up, angry, and are enjoying freedom for the first time.
Now that they don't all, all of them don't stay
(07:40):
on that same trajectory. But when they turn their back
and they go away, sometimes the parent has contributed to that.
Not everybody, but sometimes. Right.
S2 (07:51):
Exactly. And I'm not sure if it's there in the book,
but I do give an illustration of a man who
is out golfing on a Saturday morning. He came to church,
there was a revival service that were going on and
on a Saturday, and about a hundred men were on
their knees confessing their sins and crying out to God.
(08:14):
And he sat at the back of the auditorium and
took his fist and put it in his hand and said, God,
you'll never get me. Now why would a Christian man
say that? Well, he had five sons and a very
hot temper, and he knew that if God got him,
he was going to have to go to those children,
(08:34):
confess the way in which he treated them, the inconsistency
of discipline and the like. And eventually God got him,
because that's how come we know this story. But the
point is, he had to go to each one asking forgiveness.
And you see, it's easy to point the finger at
(08:55):
the boys, at the sons. But the root cause was
with their father himself. And so that's why one of
the prayers that we should always pray is, Lord, change me,
because sometimes we contribute to our children's waywardness.
S1 (09:15):
But there are also parents. Well, you look at the
prodigal son's story. You know the dad in that story,
he didn't do anything wrong. You know, he was. And
he he the picture of the heart of God. I
think a lot of parents often blame themselves for having
a prodigal, and they didn't have abuse and they didn't
have anger and all of those other things. It's just
(09:36):
that the child made a series of bad choices and
has gone a different direction.
S2 (09:41):
Absolutely. Rebecca and I have known families that are very godly,
that were very loving, You know, their children grew up
in a very affirming, biblically driven home. And yet the
child grew up and got off the rails, so to speak.
(10:01):
And in some instances has never returned. Oftentimes with what
that it's brought about because of the friends that they
have made. You know, it's amazing the peer pressure and
they go off to college and get in the wrong gang,
end up becoming sexually active, don't know what to do
(10:22):
with their guilt. And so in a desire to somehow
manage it, they walk away from their parents and they
walk away with God. And another thing to pray. And
I know I'm getting ahead of time here a little bit,
but I in my book, I talk about the fact
that sin has to run its course. The father of
(10:45):
the prodigal Nicole did not even go looking for his boy.
Though that might not be wrong under certain circumstances you
want to look for them, but the pig sty and
hunger did what nothing else could do. It was in
the pig sty that the boy said. This is a
(11:06):
bad lifestyle. I'm returning home and you think of the
number of kids, and I use some illustrations in the
book where sin had run its course. And the kids said,
you know, this is so bad, I'd better return back
to God.
S1 (11:24):
That's in the chapter, Lord, let sin become bitter so
grace may become sweet. Doctor Erwin Lutzer is with us today.
I hope if you are a parent or a grandparent
and you believe in the power of prayer, that you're
leaning a little closer today because Doctor Lutzer says, if
I dare be honest, often when we pray for our children,
(11:45):
we either fall into meaningless repetition, or we submit a
grocery grocery list of requests to God, and we want
to fight back against that. Today with some really good
information from A Practical Guide for Praying parents. It's written
by Doctor Erwin Lutzer. I'm so glad that this month
we're offering it to anyone who gives a gift of
(12:08):
any size to Chris Fabry live. And if you go
to the website, you can find out more. Go to chris.org.
We'd love to send you a copy of this helpful, practical,
and encouraging hope giving book a practical guide for praying parents.
Go to Chris Fabry live.org, or you can call us
at (866) 958-6695. More with doctor Lutzer straight ahead. I hope
(12:43):
you'll listen closely to Doctor Erwin Lutzer, today pastor emeritus
of the Moody Church. Award winning author. You hear him
on Running to Win and other programs. His latest is
our Thank You Right Now A Practical Guide for Praying parents.
And in it he writes this. Years ago I would
pray need based prayers for our children. I was repeating
(13:05):
myself and rehearsing the same lists of requests each day.
Then it all changed. So, Doctor Lutzer, what changed?
S2 (13:16):
First of all, a little bit of background. I was
raised in a Christian home. We had devotions every morning.
I had two very godly parents and they would pray. And,
you know, knowing what they knew, they prayed essentially the
same prayers every day. God bless our children and keep
them from evil and so forth. Okay. So that's the
(13:40):
way you're taught to pray, and that's the way you pray.
And you know, if I might say it, I hope
it's not sounding irreverent, but it can get kind of
boring to pray the same old thing in the same
old way. And then I remember I was at a
conference and there was a lecture given by a man
(14:00):
on how to pray Scripture. And so I began to
understand that if you pray Scripture, your prayers are going
to vary. They're not going to be the same thing
every day or every week. They may be every day
for a while, but later on you have other prayers.
(14:21):
Not only that, you are echoing back to God his
own will. You are claiming the promises of God. And
you can pray something different for your children. And most
of the time you don't have to say. And if
it be thy will. You're right in the middle of
the will of God, you know. And so it has
(14:43):
made prayer something that I look forward to, because I
may begin the day not knowing exactly how I'm going
to pray for my children. But after I've read the
Word of God almost every day now, sometimes this doesn't
happen every day, but almost every day you come across
a verse of Scripture or an aspect that you want
(15:05):
to pray for your children about. For example, I give
examples in the book. As you well know, I just
opened it up randomly to Tuesday. What I do is
in the book I give samples of praying scripture and, uh,
you know, Monday through Sunday, a week's worth Tuesday, a
(15:27):
prayer to keep your children from evil. And then I
recite the verse or quote the verse from John 17
by Jesus. I do not ask that you take them
out of the world, but that you keep them from
the evil one. And for their sake I concentrate, consecrate myself,
that they also may be sanctified in the truth. Okay,
(15:48):
here's another prayer Wednesday. A prayer for freedom from self-incrimination.
Who shall lay any charge to God's elect? That is
God that justifieth. I pray that they will be free
from self-condemnation and guilt. Do you see how now you
begin to anticipate the prayer time because you are going
(16:10):
to be praying God's Word? Yes. And you know, you
can take Psalm 23 and you can begin to pray
that for yourself. You know, the Lord is my shepherd
and pray it as a prayer. The fact that God
is with us, the fact that he restores our souls.
So doing this not only gives variety in prayer, but
(16:34):
I think it's much closer to the heart of God.
And so you begin to anticipate the prayer time rather
than oh, God bless them. Give them good grades in school.
Keep them from hurting themselves. Keep them from evil. And
you pray the same thing in the same old way.
S1 (16:54):
So the subtext of this whole thing is that you
are in the word as you, and mining truths for
your own heart, listening to God and then turning those
back to him. This is what you've said in the word.
I'm going to pray this for my son, daughter, grandson, granddaughter. Right.
S2 (17:14):
Absolutely. The other day I was in one of the Psalms,
and I was reading about the fact that God talks
about those who seek him, you know, are going to
be rewarded. So for that day, as I prayed for
my children and my grandchildren, my heart's desire was, oh God,
today caused my children Run to seek your face, because
(17:40):
I had come across a verse that was very powerful
about seeking the face of the Lord and being blessed,
and that became the verse that guided my prayer life
for that whole week on behalf of my grandchildren. So
you're never praying just the same old prayer and you
always know you're praying God's will. My, if you want
(18:02):
to start, you know, you think, for example, of some
of the prayers that Paul prayed. There are 12 or
13 different prayers in his, um, in his epistles, and
how he prays that Christ will be exalted in our
lives and so forth. Isn't it interesting that when you
(18:23):
read Paul's prayers, I don't know of one that talks
about Lord, I pray that you might heal me of
this or heal me of that. He had a thorn
in the flesh, but I don't find any complaining about
what he's going through, even though he asked that the Lord, uh,
you know, take it away three times. The simple fact is.
(18:45):
But Rita's public prayers. Ephesians, Colossians and so forth. Thessalonians,
all that Christ shall be exalted in your life, that
you will be a witness, and so forth. So you're
praying now, Kingdom prayers, and you can still make all
these other requests to God. Absolutely, yes. But you pray
(19:08):
eternal kingdom prayers for your children, and that's the thing
that inspires you. And then you can pray the very
same things for yourself. Of course.
S1 (19:17):
Here's the other thing that happens then in the exchange.
Because if if you're a follower of Jesus, if you
believe in God, you you believe that you've submitted to him,
you've surrendered to him. Everything about your life is in
the warp, and woof of life is under his control
and his New sovereignty, and you trust in him fully
(19:38):
and wholly. But when it comes to people that you
love who are going a direction or facing an obstacle,
you can get anxious. Your heart gets anxious for them.
You don't know what's going to happen the next day.
Is the diagnosis going to be dire? Is the, you know,
the election? Is it going to go bad? And, you know,
all of these different things. And so your heart gets
(19:59):
discombobulated with all of the nitty gritty of every day.
So praying this way, going back to God's Word and
praying it not only focuses your prayer and makes it
different each day as you pour out your heart to
God for that person, you're also, uh, that your anxiety.
My anxiety level. My trust. What my what I what
(20:24):
I say I believe begins to actually happen. I really
am trusting in God and His power. Right.
S2 (20:33):
Chris? before I get out of bed every morning. I
pray today, O God, glorify yourself in my life at
my expense today. May my whole day be about you
and not me. Now, in the book that you are
recommending and by the way, I'm so excited that this
(20:53):
is the book of the month for your show. In
the book I also add something else and that is
in Isaiah chapter 60, verse one. Tomorrow morning, before you
get out of bed, you pray that prayer. Arise, shine,
(21:13):
for thy light has come, and the glory of the
Lord is upon thee. That's the verse that you pray
before you get out of bed. And then I also add,
glorify yourself in my life. So what we have to do,
and I think that you alluded to this, is that
all of life has to be seen from a divine perspective.
(21:37):
And whatever you do, do for the glory of God.
So once you have that mindset, then as you're led
into the scriptures, you begin to pray in a scriptural way. And, um,
you know, if you have a wayward child, you know,
I say this in the book, what you need to
do is to look beyond that child to the promises
(21:58):
of God. In fact, you probably read the section where
I say, Satan, you can't have my child.
S1 (22:04):
Yes, yes.
S2 (22:05):
And I give.
S1 (22:05):
An.
S2 (22:06):
Illustration.
S1 (22:07):
I want to get to that. But there's another. There's
another thing in here, a phrase that you use. You say,
this is not intended. This is intended to get you
started on what I hope will be a long journey
and a life of believing prayer. It's a primer, not
a textbook. So, uh, two two questions. What is a
primer instead of a textbook? And what is believing? Prayer.
S2 (22:31):
Well, first of all, in answer to your first question,
this book is not a textbook because, um, for one thing,
it only has about a hundred or so pages. And
usually when you think of a textbook, you think of
some great, uh, usually a textbook is to teach you
various principles. But those principles are kind of way out
(22:54):
there that you should apply. I'm sure mine is a primer.
And what I meant by it was because it's an
example of how to do it. So it's not just
a theoretical discussion of prayer. There are many, many excellent
books on prayer. And I could not write many of
them that are so excellent, but I just wanted a primer.
(23:15):
How do I do it from point A to point B?
And that's what this is all about. Now, what was
your second question?
S1 (23:23):
Is, uh, whether.
S2 (23:25):
O believing prayer.
S1 (23:26):
Believing prayer. Yeah, exactly.
S2 (23:28):
Well, how do we believe in prayer? We believe in
prayer through the scriptures, you know. D.L. Moody said that
he struggled with faith. How do you get faith? And
then he read, faith comes by hearing and hearing by
the Word of God. So do you notice, Chris, in
our discussion, how things are beginning to converge? You have
(23:51):
the promises of God, and as you pray, the promises
of God from the scriptures. Faith is birthed in your
heart because you're in the word. And so it all
comes together. So you begin to pray in faith. Now,
if I might go back to Pop's parents of prodigals,
(24:14):
we didn't see a lot of changed lives after our deep,
heartfelt intercession for the prodigal children of all those parents
who came to prayer meeting, but even months and years later,
people met me and said, remember the the prodigal child?
I had that daughter that I had. Well, she has
(24:36):
come back to the Lord now and she's walking with God.
So people become discouraged. Parents become discouraged. You know, I've
been praying for my son for a year and look
at what's happening. Keep praying. Yes, God may answer the
prayer quickly, but he may take his time in doing it.
(24:56):
But he's testing us as to whether or not we're
going to continue to persist and say, I will not
give up until I see the answer.
S1 (25:05):
Yes. And the the parable that Jesus told in order
that he would teach them to always pray and never
give up. The the tenacious, continual knocking at the door
at the heart of God. Now, Doctor Luke has just
brought up this really difficult thing of the transactional nature
(25:26):
of what we often think of. You know, I do this,
I do that, and then God's going to do that.
That's not what we're talking about. And if this is
where you are, if you are storming the gates of
heaven for your child or a grandchild today, I encourage
you to go to the website. Chris Fabry lives our
featured resource and our thank you for your support. A
(25:49):
Practical guide for praying parents. Go to Chris. Org.
S3 (26:05):
This is Chris Fabry.
S1 (26:06):
Live on Moody Radio. A best of broadcast with Doctor
Erwin Lutzer will get right back to the conversation about
believing prayer and allowing God to do in us and
through us what we want for his glory and our
good as we pray for our kids and our grandkids.
There's another idea. Carenet is all over prayer and believing
(26:30):
that prayer works, quote unquote. It's powerful. It's effective. April
is abortion recovery awareness month. And if you're listening today
and you're looking in the rear view at this mistake
that you made, uh, way back when maybe you were
part of an abortion with someone else, you drove them
to the abortion clinic, you paid for the abortion, and
(26:52):
you feel bad about that, or you were the person
having the abortion, and you don't feel the freedom from that.
It is holding you down. That's where your enemy wants
you to stay. He wants you to keep ruminating over that,
thinking about that all the time. But if you click
the green care net link at Chris Fabry Livorno, you'll
(27:12):
see some of the freedom that Care Net wants to
have for you. There is freedom. There is hope. You
don't have to live under guilt and shame and all
of that grief. You can go to Chris Fabbri's archive.org.
Click the green Carnet link and you'll see how you
can get a copy absolutely free of forgiven and Set free.
(27:35):
Somebody you know needs the ministry of Cornette. Send them
to Chris Farrell archive.org and click the Green Cornette link. Today,
Doctor Erwin Lutzer is our guest on this Best of broadcast.
Our thank you during the month of April is a
practical guide for praying parents and Doctor Lutzer. There is
this kind of formulaic prayer, this almost quid pro quo
(28:00):
of prayer that we can buy into. And that is
if I pray this, and if I do this, and
if I'm faithful to jump through the hoops and the
bibbidi bobbidi boo, then God is obligated to answer my
prayer in this way. What is wrong with that view
of prayer?
S2 (28:19):
It really misunderstands the very purpose of prayer. And by
the way, if you think that you know what God
is going to do, good for you. I've been around
so many years, and, uh, there's a lot of mystery, uh,
that I have regarding God and his purposes and all.
But the real purpose of prayer is not just so
(28:42):
that I get my prayer answered. The real purpose of
prayer is fellowship with God, and the reason that God
wants us to come back to him again and again
is not that, um, you know, we are just trying
to give him the same prayer list every week, but
rather he says, I want you to have fellowship with me.
(29:07):
So you come to me with a handful of requests
and that's fine. But you should also be coming to
me simply because I'm me, simply because I am God.
You are my child. I want fellowship with you. You know, Chris,
this is mind boggling. That verse in First John where
it says that if we walk in the light, as
(29:29):
he is in the light, we have fellowship one with another.
Usually we interpret that to mean, if I walk in
the light and so forth, I have fellowship with you.
You have fellowship with me. But the antecedent is actually God.
If you walk in the light as God is in
the light, we have fellowship together. God has fellowship with
(29:52):
you and you have fellowship with God. What that means
is prayer is the means by which God gives us
to be totally dependent on him, to know that we
need him desperately. We come occupied with our needs, but
we should leave occupied with our God. So if your
(30:15):
view of prayer is will, God owes this to me
because of a, b, C, d, you're going to be
very disappointed.
S1 (30:23):
Here's the other flip side of that equation, though, and
it's that that parents grandparents feel like I've messed up
so much. God could never answer the prayer. I've done
so many bad things. Maybe in my parenting or in
other things, I've been a hypocrite. ET cetera, et cetera,
et cetera. And you pile on these things, and you
say he could never answer my prayer. And underneath that is,
(30:45):
I've got to earn it. I've got to earn the
right to have my prayer answered by living a good,
godly life. And then when enough good happens, then God's
going to answer the prayer. And in even in that
you see our dependence on Him and His grace and
his mercy. He is the one who gives us his righteousness,
his righteousness. So if we are in Christ and we
(31:08):
believe what God has done inside, we can come boldly
to that throne, right?
S2 (31:14):
Chris, I'm so glad that the first way that you
describe people coming to God earning the right. I'm so
glad that that's pure heresy, because if that were the truth,
we would never know that we were being heard by God.
Who of us have walked in such a way that
we become worthy of God hearing us? God is looking
(31:37):
for people who give up on their own worthiness. He's
looking for people who are destitute, who don't know where
to turn because they've run out of resources. He is
there for them if they understand. And then, as you explained,
if they understand that they are coming to him based
upon the blood of Christ. The Bible says, and then
(32:01):
we come and we find grace to help in time
of need. And the basis of it always is Christ.
And I say to the person who's listening today, somebody
may be driving the car and listening to this broadcast.
It doesn't matter. I mean, in some sense it matters.
But let me put it this way. Regardless of your past,
(32:25):
regardless of where you are at spiritually, regardless of the
multitude of your many failures, come to God as you
are through Christ. Connect with God about your own need.
Connect with God about your children and commit the mess
(32:45):
to him. The mess that you've made. God, this is
your mess. I can't straighten it out. I only make
it worse. Show your glory and your grace in the
midst of the mess. Because I can't. I can't straighten
it out. And so God loves desperate people, by the way.
And only really desperate people pray. And this is why
(33:09):
it's so important for us to call on him in
the name of Christ, and will be listened to.
S1 (33:16):
I think that this is such an important topic because
it hits at the very heart. It's the central nerve
of us as human beings, because we we want good
things for our children and our grandchildren. Often, though, we
go the way of control. And if I can control
my child or my grandchild, if I can do something
(33:36):
that will get them to, you know, shake them and,
and and so basically we we're praying to God, but
we're trying to figure out, you know, what to do.
I know a couple whose son and daughter in law
would not allow them any contact with their grandchildren. And
they loved they, you know, grew up in a godly home.
ET cetera. ET cetera. Just like what you were talking about.
(33:58):
And they had. No, they they would send letters or
make phone calls or emails and there's no contact. Don't
have contact with us. And you think, well, then there's
nothing that I can do. There's nothing there's no possibility
there may be somebody in that situation right now. What
would you say to that couple?
S2 (34:14):
First of all, I would I would say to the
couple that you talked about a moment ago, who have
a wayward child or a child that they're trying to
manipulate and control. Parents, remember this you cannot convert your child.
Conversion is God's business. You can lead them to Scripture.
(34:36):
You can get them to memorize verses. You can take
them to Sunday school. You put them in an environment
where they are exposed to the gospel, but only God
saves and you can't. So quit trying to be God
in your child's life. With reference to the couple that
you've just referenced. Chris, I would say to them, what
(35:00):
you need to pray is for a change of heart.
Only God changes hearts. You can do all that you
possibly can to manipulate them, to talk them into it
and yada yada yada, But, you know, the Chinese have
a proverb that I think is so wise, it says,
(35:20):
no matter how long you cook sand, it never becomes rice.
And the problem is that the human heart is as
stubborn and as cold as anything that you can imagine.
But God, who has access to the human heart, can
bring about change. And this is the problem also with parents.
(35:43):
You know, they have a son who's sleeping with his girlfriend.
They try to talk him out of it. And you know,
that's not working. And so. Well, yeah, you can try
to talk them out of it. But what he needs
is a heart change. He doesn't just need to break
up with his girlfriend. He needs a new heart. And
(36:04):
so frequently, I pray for my grandparents. Excuse me. My grandchildren,
I should say. I pray God capture their heart for
yourself and keep it. We can't change human hearts. So
I would say to them, keep praying and pray that
(36:25):
God will change their hearts and you don't try to
do what only God can do.
S1 (36:30):
Well, and we talked about this a couple of weeks ago,
the fix versus law. You can't fix and love at
the same time when you when you lay a child
grandchild on the altar like this and you let go
and you, you give God total control, surrender. What it
does is it allows, it frees you up to really love.
And and I use that word carefully because love in
(36:53):
our culture is defined so many different ways, but it
gives you the opportunity to really love that child or
that grandchild. Well, whatever that means. I want you to
talk about that. Um, if you go to the website, chris.org,
you'll see our featured resource, A practical guide for praying parents.
(37:14):
It's yours for a gift of any size Chris Fabry.
Org or 86695 is the number 86695. Faber. We have
some folks on the line. I want you to talk
with Doctor Erwin Lutzer about your son, daughter, grandson, granddaughter.
What is the struggle? What are you praying for and
how do you pray? Biblically? Believing. We'll find out straight
(37:37):
ahead on Moody Radio. I've been looking forward to this
program because I know as you listen today, there is
there's probably somebody who's been really struggling with hanging in
(38:01):
there with praying, and you've almost given up. You wouldn't
you wouldn't admit to giving up, but you'd say, I
just don't know what to pray anymore. I'm kind of
at the end of my prayer rope. And that's why
we want to send you a copy of A Practical
Guide for Praying Parents by Doctor Erwin Lutzer. I guarantee you,
because the guarantee is because there's so much scripture in
(38:24):
here that you can hang on to. I guarantee it will.
It will help you. And in, you know, could the
the prayer that you have for your kids, your grandkids,
could that be a transforming thing in your own life?
Go to Chris. Chris. Org. Michelle is on the line. Michelle.
(38:46):
Tell me about your prayer. Concern about your daughter.
S4 (38:50):
Hi. Thank you for taking my call. My daughter is 13.
She's an only child and through the pandemic it's been
a little bit crazy. She's also experienced or shown some
signs of depression, but, uh, she got to the point
where she was really upset and sad, and we finally
were able to coax out of her some of her concerns,
(39:11):
and she basically was saying she doesn't love herself. She
she hates the way she looks, and she sometimes doesn't
feel like she wants to live anymore. And then she
also said she may be bisexual. So it was just
like a lot of emotions. A lot of things have
come up, especially because of social media, peer pressure at school.
(39:33):
So we've tabled the discussion. Just loved on her, you know,
let her know that we love her no matter what.
But of course, I have all these emotions bubbling up
and all these things I want to say to her.
And as you guys were talking about, like, show her
the way, like myself, but I'm taking it to the
prayer closet. And I promised myself I wouldn't speak to
her about these things until I knew God had led
(39:55):
me to do or say something if he wants me to.
To your point, maybe just something he needs to work
out with her in her life. But what would you
suggest would be the best way for me to pray
for her?
S2 (40:07):
Well, first of all, let me say you've done something right.
And that is that you've listened to her. Yes. I
think it's so important to listen to the child. Don't
judge her. She's a confused teenager. And the good news is,
the encouraging news is most teenagers at some point are confused.
(40:27):
The other thing that you have seen that is so
accurate is that this confusion is brought about and stimulated
because of social media, because of what she reads online,
because of her school, if she's attending school, all of
these things contribute to sexual confusion. And so what you
(40:51):
need to do is to recognize that. And because she
is only 13, I encourage you to continue to talk
to her without judging her. But what do you pray?
And by the way, because of the technology hookup that
we had. I'm not sure exactly if I heard who
she needs to reconcile with, whether or not it's her
(41:14):
father or whatever. That also is an issue. But let
me tell you this that teenagers generally do make progress
in sorting all of this out. Unfortunately, you have the
culture that is against you. But specifically, this is what
(41:35):
is it? Okay, Chris, if I pray for her daughter. Right?
S1 (41:38):
Absolutely. Absolutely.
S2 (41:39):
Yeah. Father, I want to thank you so much for
this dear mother who doesn't know where to turn. But
we turn to you because your word teaches us how
to pray. And I pray for her daughter right now.
And I claim First Corinthians chapter six. Do you not
know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit,
(42:03):
whom you have from God this young woman is not
her own. She has been bought with a price and
she should glorify God with her body. I pray in
Jesus name that you'll enable her to do that. I pray, father,
that you might still all the voices of confusion that
(42:25):
leave her wondering about her sexual identity, all of her friends.
Peer pressure. Father, we want to break all of these
influences that are so terrible that are working against this
young woman's, uh, mental health. And so, father, I pray
for this, um, this mother, I pray for the child's father.
(42:49):
And we ask in Jesus name that you'll do what
we can't. We can continue to talk and to encourage. But, Lord,
you have to do the miracle. Yes. And so we're
trusting you that she might recognize that her body belongs
to you and she's to glorify you in it. Bring
(43:10):
that about, I pray in Jesus name. Amen. Amen. Now,
one other thing. Very quickly there comes a time when
she might need counseling. If you have a good Christian counselor,
because some of these teenagers go along so long, their
confusion lasts and they don't know what to turn. And
sometimes it's helpful to go to someone who can help
(43:33):
them sort it out. But at the end of the day,
you as a mother do not give up. Do not
let Satan have your child. You stand firm and say,
this child was given to you. Oh God. And I'm
going to insist that this child be brought around to
walk with you.
S1 (43:52):
Michelle. Hang on. Don't hang up. I want to get
Tricia will get your information, and we'll send you a
copy of this book. And? And there are representative prayers
after each chapter, and then he'll tell Doctor Lutzer takes
you through a whole week. But here's the one toward the, uh,
the end of the chapter on let sin become bitter
(44:13):
so grace may become sweet. And it reads, father, show
my child the end result of a worldly life. Keep
him from thinking that he knows better than you know
how to run his life. Use whatever means necessary for
my child to admit their need. Let the pigsty do
its work. And that I'll stop right there. That. That
(44:35):
is a hard prayer. It is a but it is
a prayer of consecration, a submission of that child. Because
in the next paragraph. Father, I cry to you in desperation.
Do what I cannot. And a lot of parents are
right there, aren't they? Doctor Lutzer.
S2 (44:54):
They really are. And you know, Chris, I don't know
if you ever followed the Cubs in the 80s, but
there was a player by the name of Darryl Strawberry.
I tell his story in the book. It's incredible. For
20 years, drunkenness and, uh, alcoholism and all kinds of addictions.
Marriage after marriage. He comes back to the Lord, his
(45:16):
mother dies, and he sees in her diary a prayer.
She prayed for him. Lord, topple him from his throne
and do whatever you need to do to bring him
to faith. And she died. A woman whose prayers were answered.
S1 (45:34):
Yeah, I, I remember him well because he played against
the Cubs on the Mets and and he was one
of those that, you know, hit one over the fence.
But look at that. Look at what God did in
his life because of his because of the prayer for Darryl.
And I've heard that story, a trophy of grace. That's
what he is. Oh, I hope this has encouraged you
(45:56):
as you've listened here today. There there is no one
who is too far from the reach of God's mercy
and grace. So don't give up in praying for that son,
that daughter, grandson, granddaughter. And I think this book, A
Practical Guide for Praying parents, will be a real help
(46:16):
and a real encouragement to you. That's why we chose
it for this month of and there's a there's also
a chapter in here about praying for the the culture,
a prayer beyond your family, for the nation. So I
hope this will be encouraging to you. Just go to
Chris fabriclive.org. We'd love to send you a copy. Give
(46:37):
a gift of any size Chris Fabriclive. Org or 8665.
God bless you. Thanks for listening. Chris Fabriclive is a
production of Moody Radio, a ministry of Moody Bible Institute.
It is the most powerful thing you can do for
the next generation. It's the most powerful thing you can
do for our culture. For all the divisions we see
the social upheaval. It's the most powerful thing you can
do for your own heart or any other struggle that
you're facing right now. But many Christians often feel powerless
(00:26):
in prayer. You get frustrated. You get discouraged. You wonder
if God is really hearing what you're praying, or whether
or not you've found the right formula. If you have
children or grandchildren that you're praying for and you want
to go beyond the bounds of God bless Bobby and
Tammy and Susie and Emily. Today's program at the back
fence is for you, and it's something a little different
(00:49):
for a Friday that I think is really going to
be good. Doctor Erwin Lutzer is going to walk us
through a practical guide for praying parents. That is our
thank you all this month to anyone who supports us
here at the back fence. And my hope today is
to help alleviate some of the frustrations, some of the
hopelessness maybe that you might be feeling, especially if you're
(01:12):
a parent of a prodigal and relieves some of the
anxiety of parents who look at the situation in the
world around us and see all the warning signs and
the social media problems that are flashing red. What do
you do with all those feelings that keep you up
late at night? That's what we're going to talk about tonight.
And if at any point in the hour you say, boy,
(01:33):
I don't have the copy of that book and I
need it. Call us. Give a gift of any size.
We'd love to put it in your hands. 8669538669532279. Or
go to Chris Fabriclive. Org. You'll not only help your
own heart be motivated to pray and not give up,
(01:54):
but you'll also help us do what we do here
each day at the radio backyard fence. The website again
Chris Fabry Livorno, Fabry. Scroll down to see how you
can become a friend or partner with us today. Since
our program is recorded today, we won't be taking your questions.
But let me thank Ryan McConaughey doing all things technical.
(02:15):
And Tricia, who is our producer. You thought I forgot,
didn't you? Huh? How could I forget the fabulous Fabry Friday? Sigh.
Especially since this past Tuesday, Doctor Charles Stone talked about
sniff breathing and what it can do for us, and
it sounded an awful lot like the side of me.
Let's go. Here's what happens when you participate in the
(02:36):
fabulous Fabry Friday. Sigh one. We oxygenate your blood. Two
we get your endorphins going. Three we raise your serotonin level.
Four we promote lymphatic drainage, and five, we stimulate your
parasympathetic system. That's why we call it five love languages.
We also stimulate your vagus nerve. We help you release acetylcholine.
(02:57):
And don't you dare forget what it does to cortisol. Dissipation.
Take in four seconds of air through your nose. Hold
it for four seconds. And then, as you release that
air through your mouth, push on the left side of
your rib cage. To get rid of all that bad
carbon dioxide. Give a sigh today for people who've prayed
for you and for those on your heart today. Friends, coworkers,
(03:17):
neighbors who are struggling. But especially if you're a parent
and that son or daughter or grandson or granddaughter is
heavy on your heart today, don't just sigh. Lean into
the mercy and grace and love of God for that relative.
The fabulous favorite Friday size. Brought to you by Backfence
partners and friends who generously contribute to this program. Thank you,
(03:40):
thank you, thank you again. Today's program is recorded, but
you're going to hear callers today, so don't let that
confuse you. The question we posted on Facebook when we
first aired this conversation was, what's your number one prayer
request for your children. You'll hear callers answering. Answer that
coming up. And I really hope this program will be
(04:01):
a breakthrough in a lot of ways for you. The
biggest being your prayers matter. Do not give up. Here
he is, Doctor Erwin Lutzer, pastor emeritus of the Moody
Church in Chicago, an award winning prolific author. You hear
him on Running to Win and other programs. Featured resource,
again is a practical guide for praying parents. Doctor Lutzer,
(04:24):
how are you doing today?
S2 (04:25):
So glad to be with you again, Chris. And uh, yes,
I hope that everyone will get close to the radio
or however they are listening to this, because this could
be life changing for them. I have a friend in
Canada who gave this book to a number of families,
and he says it was transforming in terms of their
prayer life and relationships. So, uh, we're going to be
(04:48):
offering some hope and some instruction today.
S1 (04:51):
Here's what I'm picking up from the book. This is
not about finding the secret handshake with God to get
him to do what I want him to do. This
is about full dependence and trust in him so that
he changes me as I pray for those I love.
Am I getting it?
S2 (05:10):
You are. You are. In fact, one of the first
things I say is when we begin to pray for
our children, we ought to, first of all, pray for ourselves.
Lord change me. And I say that, Chris, because here
at the Moody Church, many years ago, we had prayer
meetings for a whole month. Not every night, but I
(05:32):
mean our regular prayer meeting. And we called it pops.
Pops means parents of prodigals. So we doubled our size
here at prayer meeting, because I was surprised at the
number of parents who had prodigals. And we said that
we are going to intercede on behalf of your prodigal.
(05:54):
So when people came here to the church and they'd
give us the name of their child, I asked their
permission if I might ask questions regarding the kind of
home that the child was reared in. You know, was
there divorce? Was there alcoholism? Was there other kinds of
abuse or whatever? And I did that so that parents
(06:16):
might see that sometimes they have contributed to their their
children's waywardness. And so it's very important for us to
ask the question, how does the Lord want to change me?
There are two different kinds of parents that oftentimes spawn prodigals.
And of course, there are very good parents who also
(06:39):
have prodigals, by the way. But there are two kinds.
And that is the one where there has been moral failure.
And so they lose their moral credibility with their children.
And the other is very self-righteous, buttoned up Christians who
believe that everything is to be done right and the
(07:00):
child is supposed to obey, and there's no allowance made
for their humanness. And the child grows up in rebellion
against the parents and leaves home and says, I hate
their God. And so I hate I hate my dad
and I hate his God, and they walk the other way.
S1 (07:20):
Yeah, that's one of the things that I excerpted here
for today. I've discovered you write, I've discovered that children
who are brought up with strict, self-righteous parents are often
the hardest to win back to the faith. They are
fed up, angry, and are enjoying freedom for the first time.
Now that they don't all, all of them don't stay
(07:40):
on that same trajectory. But when they turn their back
and they go away, sometimes the parent has contributed to that.
Not everybody, but sometimes. Right.
S2 (07:51):
Exactly. And I'm not sure if it's there in the book,
but I do give an illustration of a man who
is out golfing on a Saturday morning. He came to church,
there was a revival service that were going on and
on a Saturday, and about a hundred men were on
their knees confessing their sins and crying out to God.
(08:14):
And he sat at the back of the auditorium and
took his fist and put it in his hand and said, God,
you'll never get me. Now why would a Christian man
say that? Well, he had five sons and a very
hot temper, and he knew that if God got him,
he was going to have to go to those children,
(08:34):
confess the way in which he treated them, the inconsistency
of discipline and the like. And eventually God got him,
because that's how come we know this story. But the
point is, he had to go to each one asking forgiveness.
And you see, it's easy to point the finger at
(08:55):
the boys, at the sons. But the root cause was
with their father himself. And so that's why one of
the prayers that we should always pray is, Lord, change me,
because sometimes we contribute to our children's waywardness.
S1 (09:15):
But there are also parents. Well, you look at the
prodigal son's story. You know the dad in that story,
he didn't do anything wrong. You know, he was. And
he he the picture of the heart of God. I
think a lot of parents often blame themselves for having
a prodigal, and they didn't have abuse and they didn't
have anger and all of those other things. It's just
(09:36):
that the child made a series of bad choices and
has gone a different direction.
S2 (09:41):
Absolutely. Rebecca and I have known families that are very godly,
that were very loving, You know, their children grew up
in a very affirming, biblically driven home. And yet the
child grew up and got off the rails, so to speak.
(10:01):
And in some instances has never returned. Oftentimes with what
that it's brought about because of the friends that they
have made. You know, it's amazing the peer pressure and
they go off to college and get in the wrong gang,
end up becoming sexually active, don't know what to do
(10:22):
with their guilt. And so in a desire to somehow
manage it, they walk away from their parents and they
walk away with God. And another thing to pray. And
I know I'm getting ahead of time here a little bit,
but I in my book, I talk about the fact
that sin has to run its course. The father of
(10:45):
the prodigal Nicole did not even go looking for his boy.
Though that might not be wrong under certain circumstances you
want to look for them, but the pig sty and
hunger did what nothing else could do. It was in
the pig sty that the boy said. This is a
(11:06):
bad lifestyle. I'm returning home and you think of the
number of kids, and I use some illustrations in the
book where sin had run its course. And the kids said,
you know, this is so bad, I'd better return back
to God.
S1 (11:24):
That's in the chapter, Lord, let sin become bitter so
grace may become sweet. Doctor Erwin Lutzer is with us today.
I hope if you are a parent or a grandparent
and you believe in the power of prayer, that you're
leaning a little closer today because Doctor Lutzer says, if
I dare be honest, often when we pray for our children,
(11:45):
we either fall into meaningless repetition, or we submit a
grocery grocery list of requests to God, and we want
to fight back against that. Today with some really good
information from A Practical Guide for Praying parents. It's written
by Doctor Erwin Lutzer. I'm so glad that this month
we're offering it to anyone who gives a gift of
(12:08):
any size to Chris Fabry live. And if you go
to the website, you can find out more. Go to chris.org.
We'd love to send you a copy of this helpful, practical,
and encouraging hope giving book a practical guide for praying parents.
Go to Chris Fabry live.org, or you can call us
at (866) 958-6695. More with doctor Lutzer straight ahead. I hope
(12:43):
you'll listen closely to Doctor Erwin Lutzer, today pastor emeritus
of the Moody Church. Award winning author. You hear him
on Running to Win and other programs. His latest is
our Thank You Right Now A Practical Guide for Praying parents.
And in it he writes this. Years ago I would
pray need based prayers for our children. I was repeating
(13:05):
myself and rehearsing the same lists of requests each day.
Then it all changed. So, Doctor Lutzer, what changed?
S2 (13:16):
First of all, a little bit of background. I was
raised in a Christian home. We had devotions every morning.
I had two very godly parents and they would pray. And,
you know, knowing what they knew, they prayed essentially the
same prayers every day. God bless our children and keep
them from evil and so forth. Okay. So that's the
(13:40):
way you're taught to pray, and that's the way you pray.
And you know, if I might say it, I hope
it's not sounding irreverent, but it can get kind of
boring to pray the same old thing in the same
old way. And then I remember I was at a
conference and there was a lecture given by a man
(14:00):
on how to pray Scripture. And so I began to
understand that if you pray Scripture, your prayers are going
to vary. They're not going to be the same thing
every day or every week. They may be every day
for a while, but later on you have other prayers.
(14:21):
Not only that, you are echoing back to God his
own will. You are claiming the promises of God. And
you can pray something different for your children. And most
of the time you don't have to say. And if
it be thy will. You're right in the middle of
the will of God, you know. And so it has
(14:43):
made prayer something that I look forward to, because I
may begin the day not knowing exactly how I'm going
to pray for my children. But after I've read the
Word of God almost every day now, sometimes this doesn't
happen every day, but almost every day you come across
a verse of Scripture or an aspect that you want
(15:05):
to pray for your children about. For example, I give
examples in the book. As you well know, I just
opened it up randomly to Tuesday. What I do is
in the book I give samples of praying scripture and, uh,
you know, Monday through Sunday, a week's worth Tuesday, a
(15:27):
prayer to keep your children from evil. And then I
recite the verse or quote the verse from John 17
by Jesus. I do not ask that you take them
out of the world, but that you keep them from
the evil one. And for their sake I concentrate, consecrate myself,
that they also may be sanctified in the truth. Okay,
(15:48):
here's another prayer Wednesday. A prayer for freedom from self-incrimination.
Who shall lay any charge to God's elect? That is
God that justifieth. I pray that they will be free
from self-condemnation and guilt. Do you see how now you
begin to anticipate the prayer time because you are going
(16:10):
to be praying God's Word? Yes. And you know, you
can take Psalm 23 and you can begin to pray
that for yourself. You know, the Lord is my shepherd
and pray it as a prayer. The fact that God
is with us, the fact that he restores our souls.
So doing this not only gives variety in prayer, but
(16:34):
I think it's much closer to the heart of God.
And so you begin to anticipate the prayer time rather
than oh, God bless them. Give them good grades in school.
Keep them from hurting themselves. Keep them from evil. And
you pray the same thing in the same old way.
S1 (16:54):
So the subtext of this whole thing is that you
are in the word as you, and mining truths for
your own heart, listening to God and then turning those
back to him. This is what you've said in the word.
I'm going to pray this for my son, daughter, grandson, granddaughter. Right.
S2 (17:14):
Absolutely. The other day I was in one of the Psalms,
and I was reading about the fact that God talks
about those who seek him, you know, are going to
be rewarded. So for that day, as I prayed for
my children and my grandchildren, my heart's desire was, oh God,
today caused my children Run to seek your face, because
(17:40):
I had come across a verse that was very powerful
about seeking the face of the Lord and being blessed,
and that became the verse that guided my prayer life
for that whole week on behalf of my grandchildren. So
you're never praying just the same old prayer and you
always know you're praying God's will. My, if you want
(18:02):
to start, you know, you think, for example, of some
of the prayers that Paul prayed. There are 12 or
13 different prayers in his, um, in his epistles, and
how he prays that Christ will be exalted in our
lives and so forth. Isn't it interesting that when you
(18:23):
read Paul's prayers, I don't know of one that talks
about Lord, I pray that you might heal me of
this or heal me of that. He had a thorn
in the flesh, but I don't find any complaining about
what he's going through, even though he asked that the Lord, uh,
you know, take it away three times. The simple fact is.
(18:45):
But Rita's public prayers. Ephesians, Colossians and so forth. Thessalonians,
all that Christ shall be exalted in your life, that
you will be a witness, and so forth. So you're
praying now, Kingdom prayers, and you can still make all
these other requests to God. Absolutely, yes. But you pray
(19:08):
eternal kingdom prayers for your children, and that's the thing
that inspires you. And then you can pray the very
same things for yourself. Of course.
S1 (19:17):
Here's the other thing that happens then in the exchange.
Because if if you're a follower of Jesus, if you
believe in God, you you believe that you've submitted to him,
you've surrendered to him. Everything about your life is in
the warp, and woof of life is under his control
and his New sovereignty, and you trust in him fully
(19:38):
and wholly. But when it comes to people that you
love who are going a direction or facing an obstacle,
you can get anxious. Your heart gets anxious for them.
You don't know what's going to happen the next day.
Is the diagnosis going to be dire? Is the, you know,
the election? Is it going to go bad? And, you know,
all of these different things. And so your heart gets
(19:59):
discombobulated with all of the nitty gritty of every day.
So praying this way, going back to God's Word and
praying it not only focuses your prayer and makes it
different each day as you pour out your heart to
God for that person, you're also, uh, that your anxiety.
My anxiety level. My trust. What my what I what
(20:24):
I say I believe begins to actually happen. I really
am trusting in God and His power. Right.
S2 (20:33):
Chris? before I get out of bed every morning. I
pray today, O God, glorify yourself in my life at
my expense today. May my whole day be about you
and not me. Now, in the book that you are
recommending and by the way, I'm so excited that this
(20:53):
is the book of the month for your show. In
the book I also add something else and that is
in Isaiah chapter 60, verse one. Tomorrow morning, before you
get out of bed, you pray that prayer. Arise, shine,
(21:13):
for thy light has come, and the glory of the
Lord is upon thee. That's the verse that you pray
before you get out of bed. And then I also add,
glorify yourself in my life. So what we have to do,
and I think that you alluded to this, is that
all of life has to be seen from a divine perspective.
(21:37):
And whatever you do, do for the glory of God.
So once you have that mindset, then as you're led
into the scriptures, you begin to pray in a scriptural way. And, um,
you know, if you have a wayward child, you know,
I say this in the book, what you need to
do is to look beyond that child to the promises
(21:58):
of God. In fact, you probably read the section where
I say, Satan, you can't have my child.
S1 (22:04):
Yes, yes.
S2 (22:05):
And I give.
S1 (22:05):
An.
S2 (22:06):
Illustration.
S1 (22:07):
I want to get to that. But there's another. There's
another thing in here, a phrase that you use. You say,
this is not intended. This is intended to get you
started on what I hope will be a long journey
and a life of believing prayer. It's a primer, not
a textbook. So, uh, two two questions. What is a
primer instead of a textbook? And what is believing? Prayer.
S2 (22:31):
Well, first of all, in answer to your first question,
this book is not a textbook because, um, for one thing,
it only has about a hundred or so pages. And
usually when you think of a textbook, you think of
some great, uh, usually a textbook is to teach you
various principles. But those principles are kind of way out
(22:54):
there that you should apply. I'm sure mine is a primer.
And what I meant by it was because it's an
example of how to do it. So it's not just
a theoretical discussion of prayer. There are many, many excellent
books on prayer. And I could not write many of
them that are so excellent, but I just wanted a primer.
(23:15):
How do I do it from point A to point B?
And that's what this is all about. Now, what was
your second question?
S1 (23:23):
Is, uh, whether.
S2 (23:25):
O believing prayer.
S1 (23:26):
Believing prayer. Yeah, exactly.
S2 (23:28):
Well, how do we believe in prayer? We believe in
prayer through the scriptures, you know. D.L. Moody said that
he struggled with faith. How do you get faith? And
then he read, faith comes by hearing and hearing by
the Word of God. So do you notice, Chris, in
our discussion, how things are beginning to converge? You have
(23:51):
the promises of God, and as you pray, the promises
of God from the scriptures. Faith is birthed in your
heart because you're in the word. And so it all
comes together. So you begin to pray in faith. Now,
if I might go back to Pop's parents of prodigals,
(24:14):
we didn't see a lot of changed lives after our deep,
heartfelt intercession for the prodigal children of all those parents
who came to prayer meeting, but even months and years later,
people met me and said, remember the the prodigal child?
I had that daughter that I had. Well, she has
(24:36):
come back to the Lord now and she's walking with God.
So people become discouraged. Parents become discouraged. You know, I've
been praying for my son for a year and look
at what's happening. Keep praying. Yes, God may answer the
prayer quickly, but he may take his time in doing it.
(24:56):
But he's testing us as to whether or not we're
going to continue to persist and say, I will not
give up until I see the answer.
S1 (25:05):
Yes. And the the parable that Jesus told in order
that he would teach them to always pray and never
give up. The the tenacious, continual knocking at the door
at the heart of God. Now, Doctor Luke has just
brought up this really difficult thing of the transactional nature
(25:26):
of what we often think of. You know, I do this,
I do that, and then God's going to do that.
That's not what we're talking about. And if this is
where you are, if you are storming the gates of
heaven for your child or a grandchild today, I encourage
you to go to the website. Chris Fabry lives our
featured resource and our thank you for your support. A
(25:49):
Practical guide for praying parents. Go to Chris. Org.
S3 (26:05):
This is Chris Fabry.
S1 (26:06):
Live on Moody Radio. A best of broadcast with Doctor
Erwin Lutzer will get right back to the conversation about
believing prayer and allowing God to do in us and
through us what we want for his glory and our
good as we pray for our kids and our grandkids.
There's another idea. Carenet is all over prayer and believing
(26:30):
that prayer works, quote unquote. It's powerful. It's effective. April
is abortion recovery awareness month. And if you're listening today
and you're looking in the rear view at this mistake
that you made, uh, way back when maybe you were
part of an abortion with someone else, you drove them
to the abortion clinic, you paid for the abortion, and
(26:52):
you feel bad about that, or you were the person
having the abortion, and you don't feel the freedom from that.
It is holding you down. That's where your enemy wants
you to stay. He wants you to keep ruminating over that,
thinking about that all the time. But if you click
the green care net link at Chris Fabry Livorno, you'll
(27:12):
see some of the freedom that Care Net wants to
have for you. There is freedom. There is hope. You
don't have to live under guilt and shame and all
of that grief. You can go to Chris Fabbri's archive.org.
Click the green Carnet link and you'll see how you
can get a copy absolutely free of forgiven and Set free.
(27:35):
Somebody you know needs the ministry of Cornette. Send them
to Chris Farrell archive.org and click the Green Cornette link. Today,
Doctor Erwin Lutzer is our guest on this Best of broadcast.
Our thank you during the month of April is a
practical guide for praying parents and Doctor Lutzer. There is
this kind of formulaic prayer, this almost quid pro quo
(28:00):
of prayer that we can buy into. And that is
if I pray this, and if I do this, and
if I'm faithful to jump through the hoops and the
bibbidi bobbidi boo, then God is obligated to answer my
prayer in this way. What is wrong with that view
of prayer?
S2 (28:19):
It really misunderstands the very purpose of prayer. And by
the way, if you think that you know what God
is going to do, good for you. I've been around
so many years, and, uh, there's a lot of mystery, uh,
that I have regarding God and his purposes and all.
But the real purpose of prayer is not just so
(28:42):
that I get my prayer answered. The real purpose of
prayer is fellowship with God, and the reason that God
wants us to come back to him again and again
is not that, um, you know, we are just trying
to give him the same prayer list every week, but
rather he says, I want you to have fellowship with me.
(29:07):
So you come to me with a handful of requests
and that's fine. But you should also be coming to
me simply because I'm me, simply because I am God.
You are my child. I want fellowship with you. You know, Chris,
this is mind boggling. That verse in First John where
it says that if we walk in the light, as
(29:29):
he is in the light, we have fellowship one with another.
Usually we interpret that to mean, if I walk in
the light and so forth, I have fellowship with you.
You have fellowship with me. But the antecedent is actually God.
If you walk in the light as God is in
the light, we have fellowship together. God has fellowship with
(29:52):
you and you have fellowship with God. What that means
is prayer is the means by which God gives us
to be totally dependent on him, to know that we
need him desperately. We come occupied with our needs, but
we should leave occupied with our God. So if your
(30:15):
view of prayer is will, God owes this to me
because of a, b, C, d, you're going to be
very disappointed.
S1 (30:23):
Here's the other flip side of that equation, though, and
it's that that parents grandparents feel like I've messed up
so much. God could never answer the prayer. I've done
so many bad things. Maybe in my parenting or in
other things, I've been a hypocrite. ET cetera, et cetera,
et cetera. And you pile on these things, and you
say he could never answer my prayer. And underneath that is,
(30:45):
I've got to earn it. I've got to earn the
right to have my prayer answered by living a good,
godly life. And then when enough good happens, then God's
going to answer the prayer. And in even in that
you see our dependence on Him and His grace and
his mercy. He is the one who gives us his righteousness,
his righteousness. So if we are in Christ and we
(31:08):
believe what God has done inside, we can come boldly
to that throne, right?
S2 (31:14):
Chris, I'm so glad that the first way that you
describe people coming to God earning the right. I'm so
glad that that's pure heresy, because if that were the truth,
we would never know that we were being heard by God.
Who of us have walked in such a way that
we become worthy of God hearing us? God is looking
(31:37):
for people who give up on their own worthiness. He's
looking for people who are destitute, who don't know where
to turn because they've run out of resources. He is
there for them if they understand. And then, as you explained,
if they understand that they are coming to him based
upon the blood of Christ. The Bible says, and then
(32:01):
we come and we find grace to help in time
of need. And the basis of it always is Christ.
And I say to the person who's listening today, somebody
may be driving the car and listening to this broadcast.
It doesn't matter. I mean, in some sense it matters.
But let me put it this way. Regardless of your past,
(32:25):
regardless of where you are at spiritually, regardless of the
multitude of your many failures, come to God as you
are through Christ. Connect with God about your own need.
Connect with God about your children and commit the mess
(32:45):
to him. The mess that you've made. God, this is
your mess. I can't straighten it out. I only make
it worse. Show your glory and your grace in the
midst of the mess. Because I can't. I can't straighten
it out. And so God loves desperate people, by the way.
And only really desperate people pray. And this is why
(33:09):
it's so important for us to call on him in
the name of Christ, and will be listened to.
S1 (33:16):
I think that this is such an important topic because
it hits at the very heart. It's the central nerve
of us as human beings, because we we want good
things for our children and our grandchildren. Often, though, we
go the way of control. And if I can control
my child or my grandchild, if I can do something
(33:36):
that will get them to, you know, shake them and,
and and so basically we we're praying to God, but
we're trying to figure out, you know, what to do.
I know a couple whose son and daughter in law
would not allow them any contact with their grandchildren. And
they loved they, you know, grew up in a godly home.
ET cetera. ET cetera. Just like what you were talking about.
(33:58):
And they had. No, they they would send letters or
make phone calls or emails and there's no contact. Don't
have contact with us. And you think, well, then there's
nothing that I can do. There's nothing there's no possibility
there may be somebody in that situation right now. What
would you say to that couple?
S2 (34:14):
First of all, I would I would say to the
couple that you talked about a moment ago, who have
a wayward child or a child that they're trying to
manipulate and control. Parents, remember this you cannot convert your child.
Conversion is God's business. You can lead them to Scripture.
(34:36):
You can get them to memorize verses. You can take
them to Sunday school. You put them in an environment
where they are exposed to the gospel, but only God
saves and you can't. So quit trying to be God
in your child's life. With reference to the couple that
you've just referenced. Chris, I would say to them, what
(35:00):
you need to pray is for a change of heart.
Only God changes hearts. You can do all that you
possibly can to manipulate them, to talk them into it
and yada yada yada, But, you know, the Chinese have
a proverb that I think is so wise, it says,
(35:20):
no matter how long you cook sand, it never becomes rice.
And the problem is that the human heart is as
stubborn and as cold as anything that you can imagine.
But God, who has access to the human heart, can
bring about change. And this is the problem also with parents.
(35:43):
You know, they have a son who's sleeping with his girlfriend.
They try to talk him out of it. And you know,
that's not working. And so. Well, yeah, you can try
to talk them out of it. But what he needs
is a heart change. He doesn't just need to break
up with his girlfriend. He needs a new heart. And
(36:04):
so frequently, I pray for my grandparents. Excuse me. My grandchildren,
I should say. I pray God capture their heart for
yourself and keep it. We can't change human hearts. So
I would say to them, keep praying and pray that
(36:25):
God will change their hearts and you don't try to
do what only God can do.
S1 (36:30):
Well, and we talked about this a couple of weeks ago,
the fix versus law. You can't fix and love at
the same time when you when you lay a child
grandchild on the altar like this and you let go
and you, you give God total control, surrender. What it
does is it allows, it frees you up to really love.
And and I use that word carefully because love in
(36:53):
our culture is defined so many different ways, but it
gives you the opportunity to really love that child or
that grandchild. Well, whatever that means. I want you to
talk about that. Um, if you go to the website, chris.org,
you'll see our featured resource, A practical guide for praying parents.
(37:14):
It's yours for a gift of any size Chris Fabry.
Org or 86695 is the number 86695. Faber. We have
some folks on the line. I want you to talk
with Doctor Erwin Lutzer about your son, daughter, grandson, granddaughter.
What is the struggle? What are you praying for and
how do you pray? Biblically? Believing. We'll find out straight
(37:37):
ahead on Moody Radio. I've been looking forward to this
program because I know as you listen today, there is
there's probably somebody who's been really struggling with hanging in
(38:01):
there with praying, and you've almost given up. You wouldn't
you wouldn't admit to giving up, but you'd say, I
just don't know what to pray anymore. I'm kind of
at the end of my prayer rope. And that's why
we want to send you a copy of A Practical
Guide for Praying Parents by Doctor Erwin Lutzer. I guarantee you,
because the guarantee is because there's so much scripture in
(38:24):
here that you can hang on to. I guarantee it will.
It will help you. And in, you know, could the
the prayer that you have for your kids, your grandkids,
could that be a transforming thing in your own life?
Go to Chris. Chris. Org. Michelle is on the line. Michelle.
(38:46):
Tell me about your prayer. Concern about your daughter.
S4 (38:50):
Hi. Thank you for taking my call. My daughter is 13.
She's an only child and through the pandemic it's been
a little bit crazy. She's also experienced or shown some
signs of depression, but, uh, she got to the point
where she was really upset and sad, and we finally
were able to coax out of her some of her concerns,
(39:11):
and she basically was saying she doesn't love herself. She
she hates the way she looks, and she sometimes doesn't
feel like she wants to live anymore. And then she
also said she may be bisexual. So it was just
like a lot of emotions. A lot of things have
come up, especially because of social media, peer pressure at school.
(39:33):
So we've tabled the discussion. Just loved on her, you know,
let her know that we love her no matter what.
But of course, I have all these emotions bubbling up
and all these things I want to say to her.
And as you guys were talking about, like, show her
the way, like myself, but I'm taking it to the
prayer closet. And I promised myself I wouldn't speak to
her about these things until I knew God had led
(39:55):
me to do or say something if he wants me to.
To your point, maybe just something he needs to work
out with her in her life. But what would you
suggest would be the best way for me to pray
for her?
S2 (40:07):
Well, first of all, let me say you've done something right.
And that is that you've listened to her. Yes. I
think it's so important to listen to the child. Don't
judge her. She's a confused teenager. And the good news is,
the encouraging news is most teenagers at some point are confused.
(40:27):
The other thing that you have seen that is so
accurate is that this confusion is brought about and stimulated
because of social media, because of what she reads online,
because of her school, if she's attending school, all of
these things contribute to sexual confusion. And so what you
(40:51):
need to do is to recognize that. And because she
is only 13, I encourage you to continue to talk
to her without judging her. But what do you pray?
And by the way, because of the technology hookup that
we had. I'm not sure exactly if I heard who
she needs to reconcile with, whether or not it's her
(41:14):
father or whatever. That also is an issue. But let
me tell you this that teenagers generally do make progress
in sorting all of this out. Unfortunately, you have the
culture that is against you. But specifically, this is what
(41:35):
is it? Okay, Chris, if I pray for her daughter. Right?
S1 (41:38):
Absolutely. Absolutely.
S2 (41:39):
Yeah. Father, I want to thank you so much for
this dear mother who doesn't know where to turn. But
we turn to you because your word teaches us how
to pray. And I pray for her daughter right now.
And I claim First Corinthians chapter six. Do you not
know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit,
(42:03):
whom you have from God this young woman is not
her own. She has been bought with a price and
she should glorify God with her body. I pray in
Jesus name that you'll enable her to do that. I pray, father,
that you might still all the voices of confusion that
(42:25):
leave her wondering about her sexual identity, all of her friends.
Peer pressure. Father, we want to break all of these
influences that are so terrible that are working against this
young woman's, uh, mental health. And so, father, I pray
for this, um, this mother, I pray for the child's father.
(42:49):
And we ask in Jesus name that you'll do what
we can't. We can continue to talk and to encourage. But, Lord,
you have to do the miracle. Yes. And so we're
trusting you that she might recognize that her body belongs
to you and she's to glorify you in it. Bring
(43:10):
that about, I pray in Jesus name. Amen. Amen. Now,
one other thing. Very quickly there comes a time when
she might need counseling. If you have a good Christian counselor,
because some of these teenagers go along so long, their
confusion lasts and they don't know what to turn. And
sometimes it's helpful to go to someone who can help
(43:33):
them sort it out. But at the end of the day,
you as a mother do not give up. Do not
let Satan have your child. You stand firm and say,
this child was given to you. Oh God. And I'm
going to insist that this child be brought around to
walk with you.
S1 (43:52):
Michelle. Hang on. Don't hang up. I want to get
Tricia will get your information, and we'll send you a
copy of this book. And? And there are representative prayers
after each chapter, and then he'll tell Doctor Lutzer takes
you through a whole week. But here's the one toward the, uh,
the end of the chapter on let sin become bitter
(44:13):
so grace may become sweet. And it reads, father, show
my child the end result of a worldly life. Keep
him from thinking that he knows better than you know
how to run his life. Use whatever means necessary for
my child to admit their need. Let the pigsty do
its work. And that I'll stop right there. That. That
(44:35):
is a hard prayer. It is a but it is
a prayer of consecration, a submission of that child. Because
in the next paragraph. Father, I cry to you in desperation.
Do what I cannot. And a lot of parents are
right there, aren't they? Doctor Lutzer.
S2 (44:54):
They really are. And you know, Chris, I don't know
if you ever followed the Cubs in the 80s, but
there was a player by the name of Darryl Strawberry.
I tell his story in the book. It's incredible. For
20 years, drunkenness and, uh, alcoholism and all kinds of addictions.
Marriage after marriage. He comes back to the Lord, his
(45:16):
mother dies, and he sees in her diary a prayer.
She prayed for him. Lord, topple him from his throne
and do whatever you need to do to bring him
to faith. And she died. A woman whose prayers were answered.
S1 (45:34):
Yeah, I, I remember him well because he played against
the Cubs on the Mets and and he was one
of those that, you know, hit one over the fence.
But look at that. Look at what God did in
his life because of his because of the prayer for Darryl.
And I've heard that story, a trophy of grace. That's
what he is. Oh, I hope this has encouraged you
(45:56):
as you've listened here today. There there is no one
who is too far from the reach of God's mercy
and grace. So don't give up in praying for that son,
that daughter, grandson, granddaughter. And I think this book, A
Practical Guide for Praying parents, will be a real help
(46:16):
and a real encouragement to you. That's why we chose
it for this month of and there's a there's also
a chapter in here about praying for the the culture,
a prayer beyond your family, for the nation. So I
hope this will be encouraging to you. Just go to
Chris fabriclive.org. We'd love to send you a copy. Give
(46:37):
a gift of any size Chris Fabriclive. Org or 8665.
God bless you. Thanks for listening. Chris Fabriclive is a
production of Moody Radio, a ministry of Moody Bible Institute.
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