August 7, 2025 • 47 mins
No matter how you became a single mom, you share the same challenges and fears all single moms have. You may feel stretched to the limit. You may suspect your children need more than you're able to give. How are you going to do this on your own? PeggySue Wells, a single mom of seven, will talk about the 10 best decisions a single mom can make. Hear this "Best of Chris Fabry Live."
Featured resources:
The 10 Best Decisions a Single Mom Can Make by PeggySue Wells
Free Resource: Let's Get Growing
August thank you gift:
Talking with God: Daily Readings Through the Psalms by Ryan Cook & Today in the Word
Chris Fabry Live is listener-supported. To support the program, click here.
Become a Back Fence Partner: https://moodyradio.org/donateto/chrisfabrylive/partners
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
S1 (00:05):
No matter how you became a single mom, the decisions
you have to make are the same. The concerns, the fears,
the anxiety, the weight of all the questions, of all
the unknowns. What's going to happen in the future? Today
on Chris Fabry Live the ten best Decisions a Single
(00:25):
Mom Can Make. That's our featured resource. And the co-author
of that book is going to join us to talk
about those decisions and how to navigate family life on
your own. Straight ahead. And here's the best news. You
do not have to do this alone, even though it
might feel like you have to. Single mom of seven
(00:45):
Peggy Sue Wells is going to talk about those ten
best decisions a single mom could make here on a
best of broadcast. Chris Fabry live. If you hear a
phone number or dated information, disregard that or program is
recorded today. Oh, I really hope this one hits you
right in the heart. And if this is not where
you are, there may be somebody you know who needs
(01:08):
to hear this broadcast. Tell them about that and let
me thank our team. Behind the scenes. Ryan McConaughey is
doing all things technical. Trisha's our producer. Oh, I should
take thank Lisa and Tara too, because they pick up
their end of the back fence as well. We really
appreciate them. And while I'm thanking people, hats off to
my back fence friends and partners across the fruited plain.
(01:31):
If you have ever heard a conversation that encouraged you here,
put a little vim, vigor and vitality in your heart
and soul. Thank a friend or a partner of this program,
because we come to you each day because they lend
their support to this daily endeavor. And there are those
who can't give. We know that. And I'm so grateful
to those who give, not only for themselves, but in
(01:53):
the place of others. Your generosity gives us the ability
to have a A conversation like the one you're about
to hear. So if you can become a friend or
a partner, do that today. Maybe you didn't even know
this program was listener supported. Call or click through 86695 febry.
Or go to Chris Fabriclive. Org. A friend gives a
(02:15):
one time gift and receives our thank you for the month.
A partner gives a recurring monthly gift and has access
to all of our thank yous. Plus, you get a
signed copy of my novel The Promise of Jesse Woods.
You get the weekly back fence post, which is a
video that we send from yours truly. You'll see me
in my natural habitat. If you give $30 or more
(02:36):
a month, you get to go shopping. As Janet Parshall says, 50%
off everything in Moody Publishers catalog. So come on and
join the join the fun. Would you go to Chris?
Or call us at (866) 953-2279? And thanks for your support
of the radio backyard fence. Peggy Sue Wells is the
(03:00):
best selling author or co-author of nearly 30 books. She
helps people implement this is like a life sentence about
her life. She helps people implement the life giving rhythms
of working hard and resting well to live better together.
Isn't that good? She's joining us today from the great
state of Indiana, and her featured resource is a book
that she wrote with Pam Farrell, The ten Best Decisions
(03:24):
A Single Mom Can Make A Biblical Guide for navigating
family life on your own. Peggy Sue, how are you
doing today?
S2 (03:31):
Oh, Chris, it's so nice to be able to talk
with you and encourage those single parent families.
S1 (03:36):
Yes. Is there any difference between a single? There's a difference.
I know there's a gender difference, first of all, but
single mom and single dad listening. You're not trying to, uh,
push aside the single dads, but since you were are
a single mom, you're writing to your tribe, right?
S2 (03:53):
I'm writing to who I had experience actually being. But yeah,
there are single dads out there. My hat is off
to them and there's not as many as there are
single moms. However, um, we're both doing the same thing.
We're doing our best to raise our kids.
S1 (04:09):
All right, so tell us your story. Chapter one. He's gone. Uh,
tell me what happened the night you pulled into the driveway.
S2 (04:15):
Um, we'd had kind of an escalating situation, and it
had just gotten to the place where the kids and
I had gone to church. We came home one evening,
and as we pulled down the driveway, the house was
dark and it usually has lights on. And his car
was gone. The kids, when we pulled in, ran upstairs
and checked in the medicine chest and announced that the
(04:37):
toothbrush was gone and we knew he had left. And, um,
we had done a lot. We had tried a lot
of different counseling. We tried a lot. You know, I
remember sitting in a chair thinking, I have tried absolutely
everything I can to keep it together. And I think
that's how it is for a lot of families. Nobody
wants their marriage to end. Nobody wants that commitment to
(04:59):
come to a stop. And when it does, and that's
kind of where we started. The ten best decisions a
single mom can make was, you know, it almost doesn't
matter how you got here. We just want to recognize
the fact that solo parenting may not be the ideal,
but it is our real. And so how can we
then do our very best so that our children and
(05:19):
our families can thrive?
S1 (05:21):
Bingo. Bingo. So where? However you got here, let's talk
about where you are, you know, and what, where you
moved from here. And one of the things that happened
to you then early on, because I think your youngest child,
you're the single parent of seven, your youngest child was
like one year old when he moved out, right?
S2 (05:41):
Yeah. She was a year old. Yep.
S1 (05:43):
Wow. So one of your the older children than that?
One of them, uh, the daughters asked you. Mom, can
we not tell others that dad is gone.
S2 (05:54):
Yeah, we were pretty. We were pretty embarrassed and humiliated.
And I can tell you where that comes from. It's
sort of that feeling of, gosh, if I were valuable enough,
or if I was important enough, this person would have
made extra effort to try to work with us to
make it work. And that's kind of a stigma that
(06:14):
we carry with us. I, um, I grew up in
a single parent home, so I felt that way when
my dad left. I'm like, ah, if I'd have been
valuable enough. And we sort of felt that as their, um,
when my husband left, the kids were feeling that as well.
And what I would really like parents to understand and
for their kids that, you know, are going through this
(06:36):
right now, is that people do what they do for
their own reasons, and it rarely has anything to do
with us. They have the reasons that they make the
decisions that they make that make perfect sense to them.
And a lot of times, it doesn't have a whole
lot to do with us. However, the choices that people
that are close to us make will have a Grand
(06:57):
Canyon size impact on our lives.
S1 (07:00):
Yes. And then dealing with that child, you can't deal
with the child and the questions bouncing this off of
somebody else. I mean, you can have a friend do that,
but your spouse is not going to do that. You
have to do that alone. You have to process it alone,
and you have to process your own grief and the
struggles that you're going through at the same time. Right.
S2 (07:20):
Exactly. And that trauma that happens that, you know, just
going through this because generally it's not something that happens
in a moment. Generally you have a relationship that you've
been trying, you've been working. It's getting worse. So it's
been it's been a process. And then it comes down
to that it happens. However, it doesn't stop with just
(07:41):
the partner that leaves because we have more hurt. That
comes up every time. Like you have to have maybe
a relocation. You have to change a job. Maybe you
have to change homes and, you know, get a new address.
Anytime there's a visitation, anytime you have to split up
the holidays, anytime there's that weekly phone call. It's just
a perpetual, you know, thing that keeps happening to your
(08:02):
heart over and over and over again.
S1 (08:04):
And Pam, your co-author, Pam Farrell, experienced this as a
as a young girl herself, didn't she?
S2 (08:11):
I pursued Pam to be my co-author on this project
because Pam was raised by a single mom and Pam
and Bill Farrell, um, everybody knows him from men are
like waffles. Women are like spaghetti. They are champions for marriage.
And they have held together as a very strong marriage
is a good example. And their kids are doing well.
And so what I wanted people to understand was growing
(08:34):
up in this situation, this is not, um, it's not
going to be your identity, but it will be an experience.
And we can all grow through this experience. It's not
something that was a surprise to God. He will teach
us about himself. Even in this he is at work,
even in this. And so I wanted Pam to come
alongside because it was like, look, look, look, this is
(08:57):
not where you're going to be forever. There is still
a bright future. God knows good things for you. I
would love to introduce you to to today's single mom,
because there's a lot of myths around who's a single mom.
And reality sometimes is very different than what people think.
S1 (09:14):
And that is the perfect segue to our next segment,
where we will deal with those myths of the single mom.
If you go to the website, you'll see Peggy Sue
Wells book, the ten Best Decisions a Single Mom Can Make. Again,
go to. Our program is recorded. Don't call us today,
(09:37):
but stay with us. There's more straight ahead on Moody Radio.
This is one of those resources I hope you don't need.
You know, I hope you don't become a single mom
or a single dad. But if you are, it's like
(09:58):
a lifeline. It's like somebody coming alongside who says, look,
I've been where you are. I've experienced some of the
things that you're thinking about right now here. Let me
give you a little bit of of what I've learned
down the trail, the ten best decisions a single mom
Can make. Peggy Sue Wells wrote this with Pam Farrell.
(10:18):
You can find it. It's our featured resource at Chris
Fabry Live. Chris. The the Segway is such a beautiful Segway.
And you've worked in radio. Peggy Sue, you know exactly
how to do this. The myths about today's single mom.
Tell me some of those myths.
S2 (10:35):
I think the ones that overshadowed me the most was
that I'm a bad wife. If I can't get my
marriage together and I'm a bad mom, if I can't
have my children be in a really good, safe, nurturing home.
And one of the things that's happened, um, as my
oldest or my youngest, as she got married, I had
some people look at me and say, wow, you know,
you've raised some kids as a single mom. Did you
(10:57):
learn a few things? And I said, I've learned a
pile of things that don't work, and I've learned a
very strong handful of things that work really well. So
when Pam and I got together, we packed this book
full of tangible tips and practical helps that work for parents.
And we've had a lot of people that are not
solo parenting. They are in a parenting with their spouse,
(11:21):
and they have said they've read the book and just
pulled out all the good parenting that they've been able
to implement them because they're just good parenting tips, whether
you're parenting solo or with a partner. Um, one of
the things that I wanted people to understand, too, about
today's single mom is that the reason this topic is
so important is that 1 in 4 homes is single
(11:43):
mom led. So drive down your street tonight and count one, two, three, four.
But 1 in 4 is a single mom led home. 50%
of kids in the US are expected to live in
a single parent home before reaching age 18. That is
half of our kids. Most single moms began in a
committed relationship and are single due to separation and divorce.
(12:07):
They never intended they didn't start out to raise their
children solo. Three fourths of single moms have full time careers.
Less than half receive government assistance, and most only until
they can get on their feet so that they can
support their families themselves. Less than half received child support,
and the average child support for those that do receive
(12:29):
it is less than $6,000 a year, which if you
put braces on your kids, you know how short that's
going to come up. 40% are over 40 years old,
so 40% of single moms are over 40. 100% of
all single moms wish that the cleaning fairy showed up
weekly and left everything sparkling and something delicious simmering in
(12:51):
the oven. And then, really importantly, 85% of our single
parent families do not attend church. They feel alone and
isolated and judged. However, single moms are not alone because
there are 15 million solo moms raising 22 million children.
S1 (13:11):
Wow. Let's stick with that. With the church and isolated
and judged. Is that internal to the single mom? Meaning
she feels she feels this way no matter how she's
been treated by those in the church? Or is it
coming from externals? She has been treated and judged. Um,
(13:35):
any idea of what the preponderance of single moms experience?
S2 (13:40):
It is 100% both. We come into the church. Like
when you have a single parent family walk into church,
they're feeling less than and so they feel less than
just walking in the door just because of the pain
that they've gone through with the family falling apart. Then
the church in the past. And this is going to
(14:01):
be my generation in particular. We haven't known what to
do with situations like this. And so the church hasn't
been particularly like geared up to know how to minister
to the families. And they wanted to be really, really
careful not to just sort of like encourage divorce, which
I'm here to tell you. All the single moms don't
(14:23):
we don't want divorce either. We know what it looks like.
We know the pain that it causes. So there is
a movement in the church now, mostly because a lot
of kids like my children's age have been through this,
and so they have more of an understanding. Another, um,
myth that you had talked about is that single moms
(14:43):
are bad moms because their kids are the ones that
are down at the principal's office so often. And there's
actually a really good reason for that. And it's because
when we go through a situation such as the breaking
up of the family, our brain goes into trauma brain.
So we switch off the thinking and we go into trauma,
(15:05):
which is fight, flight, freeze, or please, which works really
well during a trauma like a crisis, like if you're
having to run from a bear. But then our brain
tends to stay there. And so then we're not making
really good decisions. So this shows up with single moms
where we will watch her from a distance and say,
what is she thinking? Well she's not. And and so
(15:26):
that's why her decisions seem odd from the outside. But
how it shows up in our children is it shows
up as a behavior issue. And so those kids that
wind up down at the principal's office, it's not a
behavior issue. It's a heart issue. They have a broken heart.
S1 (15:44):
They're struggling. They're struggling. And why wouldn't they be with
all of that change that's going on? So if you're
a single mom listening right now, or maybe you're the
grandparent of some grandkids and you're seeing exactly play out
in the life of your son or daughter with, you know,
who's a single parent. This is one of those resources
(16:05):
that I think will be a great a breath of
fresh air, maybe a little bit of oxygen for their
soul and their life. The ten best decisions a Single
mom can make. It's our featured resource at Chris Fabriclive. Org.
Chris Fabriclive. Before we get to the ten, though, tell
me about the internet and social media and today's comparison
(16:30):
and the vitriol that can happen there and all that.
How is that affecting the single mom today?
S2 (16:37):
We don't get a lot of good press there. Um,
and we've even had some elections where they've said that
it's the single moms that are actually bringing our, our
communities and our society down. So that's not helping. Um,
we've also got situations too, where in the media, um,
we've sort of noticed and this will be with a
(17:00):
lot of our celebrities and stuff. We're actually sort of
putting the having children ahead of even being married. And
so our kids that are growing up, there's some confusion
there too. Do you, do you make commitments to one
another or do you have children and then see where
it goes? Um, either way, though, that single parenting thing
(17:21):
is unsettling for the children, and it's tough on the mom.
A lot of decisions for her to have to make,
and it's a lot of responsibility. And, um, God put
together so that we could complement one another. And so that, again,
would be the ideal. But when it doesn't work out
for the ideal, one of the best things that I
(17:43):
learned to do with my kids was to really press
into the Lord, because when the foundation is shaken. And
so I know one of my kids said everything I
believed about our family was not true. And I can
see how they thought that from their point of view
when everything fell apart. So when everything that has you
(18:03):
thought you could put your all your weight on, that
you could count on, your foundation is shaken. I needed
to give them something that they could actually lean on 100%.
So we spent a lot of time that we made
sure every night we spent time with the Lord because
the Lord was going to stay consistent no matter what.
His word was going to be consistent. I remember going
(18:24):
to my mentor and just crying and she said, what
are you so worried about? And I said that I
won't be enough to love them, enough to give them
what they need as just by myself. And she said,
you're not. You won't. I was like, um, this isn't helping.
And she said, no, no, no. She said, please understand.
Even if you have both parents in the household, you
(18:46):
cannot give that child as much as that child needs.
The source is the Lord. The source is their savior.
The one that's going to fill that emotional tank and
fill all their needs is going to be the Lord.
So the first thing that we tried to make sure
that we did was every night before bed. We had
prayer time. We spent time in the word. And so
I wanted to give them that foundation of you can
(19:08):
always go to Scripture. This is where you can find
these promises. You can lean on these. They're always there.
You can cry out in the night when you're scared,
when you feel alone, whatever. And the Lord is always there.
You will not be alone.
S1 (19:22):
Peggy Sue Wells is with us today. I'm really resonating
with what she's saying. Uh, Ron Nandyal were on a
couple of weeks ago, and we were talking about the
mindful marriage, and they brought up that same thing that
the fight or flight, the and the trauma and the
amygdala and a lot of things I didn't understand, but
I got this, that the way you respond to your
spouse in marriage, in whenever there's a conflict, this immediate
(19:45):
response that you can have of being defensive or whatever
that that comes from, from something that's way back there
and you got to deal with that. And it's the
same thing with the single mom. If she is dealing
with fight or flight and you had seven kids, you know,
you were dealing with a one year old as well
as the other children, you hardly had time to breathe,
(20:08):
let alone think through, okay, what do we do here?
What do we do next? And so my guess is
this book came out of that here. These are the
decisions that you can make or the things to stay
away from making big decisions at a time when you're kerfuffles,
you know, in the heart you. Those are the types
(20:28):
of things that, uh, single moms and dads need to
be told, right?
S2 (20:34):
Absolutely. And we are stuck in that fight. Flight. Freeze
or please. So are our children. We don't realize that
that's where we are. And so when we when Pam
and I wrote the ten best decisions a Single Mom
Can make, we went through these top decisions to say,
I know you're not thinking. I know this is difficult
(20:55):
to decide. We're going to walk you through this, come
through this one chapter at a time with us as
we give you some guidance and give you some good direction.
Pretty soon the thinking part of the brain comes back online,
and then you can start making the best decisions that
you need to make when you most need to make them.
(21:15):
Because we're dealing with our children.
S1 (21:17):
Yes. All right. That's the featured resource at the website
chris.org the ten best decisions a single mom can make.
Let me go to the very first decision and then
we'll take your calls. 3675. If you're a single mom
and you say, here's the best decision that I made
(21:38):
as a as a single mom early on or right now,
I'd love to hear from you. Or maybe have a question.
You're right in the middle of this. (877) 548-3675. What is
the the first decision that you decided to tackle? And
now I don't hear Peggy Sue. Is Peggy Sue still there?
S2 (22:00):
Oh, sorry.
S1 (22:01):
Oh, there you are. Well, you thought I was asking the, uh,
the caller? Yeah. Okay. All right.
S2 (22:05):
So, but I do. I have an answer.
S1 (22:07):
I have.
S3 (22:07):
An answer. All right, you give me your answer.
S2 (22:10):
Okay. My very first and most important and best decision
that I made was to introduce my children to their
Savior and to do it as early as possible, and
then to make sure that we spend time daily in
the word so that they were familiar with the Bible.
They knew where to open it to. They knew where
to read it. They could read it out loud. It's
such a big book. It has all these words in it,
(22:32):
but we did our Bible time so that they were
very comfortable with that. They knew they could reach out.
They knew they could read the Scripture. They knew they
could talk to the Lord. The second most important decision
that I made came a little bit later on, and
it had everything to do with the five R's and
staying in good relationship with our children. So the way
(22:53):
that that happened was, you know, we we've had a disrespect.
When disrespect comes up into a relationship, that's what really
rocks it. I think you can have relationships that don't
have love in them, but when you lose the respect,
we start really going into some toxicity pretty quickly. So
I would notice that sometimes we would get together for
(23:14):
the holidays and we'd sort of emotionally abuse one another
and then have pie, and it was like, I don't
want to do this. You know, I grew up like that.
What is the missing element? And I was talking to
the Lord. I'm like, I need to be building healthy
relationships with our children. And so he showed me there
was one Saturday morning that my daughter Hannah. She's number
(23:35):
six of the seven, and she's a teenager. And she
got up and she was grousing around the house, and
I made her some pancakes and told some jokes, and
she did not eat the pancakes, and she didn't laugh
at my jokes. And so in that moment, I went
into the first R, which is rejection. I'm making these
efforts toward her. She's not receiving them. I'm feeling rejected.
(23:57):
So that's the first r. I don't like feeling rejected.
So then I moved into resentment. I'm resentful that I'm
feeling rejected. And in that I made up a story
in my head. I'm like, oh gosh, she's probably feeling
this way, treating me this way because I really stink
as a mom. She'd rather be anywhere on Saturday morning
besides home here with me. So then I went into resistance,
(24:18):
which is the third R. So we're sitting at the
table for breakfast and it's like, okay, you're not going
to talk to me. I'm not going to talk to
you like we've, you know, like that's not mature at all.
And we do that. We get any time you've done
the silent treatment or received it, that's a resistance. The
next step in that would have been resent would have
been revenge. And I was ready to go into revenge
(24:41):
because I was thinking, my heart hurts. I want you
to know that my heart hurts. So the way that
I'll show you that is I will do something that
makes your heart hurt. Now, when we say it out loud,
it makes no sense. But if you sit back and
watch how we interact with one another, it's a common
thing for people to do. So as I.
S1 (24:58):
Was. Stop right there. Stop right there. Because this is
this is the other thing in radio. This is what
people are going to listen to the next segment, because
they want to know what was really going on in
your daughter's heart. You, you know, you went through all
of these different things. And there's, you know, every parent
who's listening, who's a single parent or not has gone
(25:18):
through exactly what you've talked about that rejection, the resentment,
the resistance and the revenge. If you're going to do that,
I'm going to throw this pancake at you. So what
was going on there and how did she turn that around?
Don't miss our next segment with Peggy Sue Wells. She
is the co-author of the ten Best Decisions a Single
(25:38):
Mom Can Make. We have it as our featured resource today,
Chris Fabry Live. Click through today's information. You'll see it
right there at Chris. More straight ahead on Moody Radio.
(26:06):
Real stories. Real life, real hurts. Real struggles. Real hope.
That's what we're about here at Chris Fabry Live. Thank
you so much for your support of this program. As
we talk about a book by Pam Farrell and our guest,
Peggy Sue Wells, The ten Best Decisions a Single Mom
Can Make. a biblical guide for navigating family life on
(26:28):
your own. And I think this story see, we are
all just stories. Your your life is a story. My
life is a story. We're in the middle of whatever
chapter we're in. But when we are faithful with those stories,
when we're faithful with the struggles, then that not only
allows God in to help us, but it allows him
(26:51):
to work in us so that he can work through us.
And that's exactly what is happening here. I can't tell
you how many people reached out after Peggy Sue told
this story about her and her daughter. We'll get right
back to it. Just let me tell you. Go to
the website. You want to support us, you can do
that right there. You want to find out more about
the resource, go to Chris Fabry live. Peggy Sue Wells
(27:17):
is with us today. I'm going to your calls, I promise.
We're talking about the ten best decisions a single mom
can make. But we're right in the middle of a
story about Hannah and the pancakes. And I think I
told Peggy Sue in the break that she should write
a children's book, Hannah and the pancakes, because this is like,
you see this playing out, and I've seen it with
my own kids. They're in a bad mood. Why? It
(27:39):
must be me. And I'm going to get back at them.
And they're not. And it made what was going on there. Really?
S2 (27:46):
Yeah. Um, we do think it's all about us. As
I got ready to go into revenge, I would have
said something like, are you keeping your homework done? So
you keep those grades above sea levels, which that would
have been a stiletto, kind of aimed at her heart.
And when she would hear that, what's a kid going
to do? She's going to backpedal while mom's on the warpath.
(28:07):
Who knows why give her space? And as she would
backpedal and give distance there, I would have felt rejected again.
So then we would run into repeat. And so this happens.
This going into these five hours happens within families and households.
It happens with our neighbors. It happens in church. It
happens in work situation. So this was the place where
(28:28):
the Lord had started working with me. And right before
I said something about her homework, I felt God tap
me on the shoulder and say, are you paying attention?
Because you're like knee deep in the five R's. And
I was like, oh, gosh. So instead I said to her, Hannah,
the story I'm making up in my head right now
is you'd rather be anywhere Saturday morning than home with me.
(28:52):
And she kind of blinked and looked up, almost like,
you know, Hannah coming back to Earth. And she said,
I just found out the boy I babysit for has leukemia.
S4 (29:02):
Oh, wow.
S2 (29:04):
Right. It had nothing to do with me. And what
I came to realize out of that was I make
up stories when I'm feeling rejected, and that story becomes
my reality in my brain. And then I interact with
this person based on the story that is in my head,
not based on reality. And so this has been huge
(29:26):
for my family, for the kids and I to understand
what the five R's are and then to stay out
of them. So the first step for that, the very
first one, is when I realize I'm feeling rejected, I
just go back and go, what are the facts? And
the facts are? Hannah was grouchy and grousing around the
house that morning. If I would have left that there
(29:47):
as a typical teenager, that's not unusual. It would have
been fine, right? So. And we had this happen again.
You know, I have six daughters, one son. That's a
lot of weddings. And so weddings bring drama if you
want to have drama, have a wedding. And not too
long ago, with one of the recent weddings, one of
my daughters who was doing the shower said, so mom,
(30:08):
is your friend coming? I'm putting out the place settings.
And I said, I don't know. I don't know if
she's coming, I invited her, I've called twice, I haven't
heard back. You can hear the stilettos in my voice.
You can hear the emotion there. I had already made
up a story about why I had not heard from
my friend and my daughter, who's now well aware of
the five R's with me, said, so, mom, what's the facts?
(30:32):
And I was like, oh, the facts. The facts are,
you know what, I invited her. I have called twice.
I haven't heard back. You know what I'll call again?
It takes all the drama out of it. And so
by sticking to the facts, that has changed so much
in our relationships. Because I'm not making up stories and
then acting out on that. And so when I hit rejection,
(30:53):
I remember go back to the facts. When I hit resentment,
it's like, okay, I'm going to practice gratitude instead. When
I feel like I'm in resistance. Instead, I'm going to engage.
When I feel like I'm going to be vengeful. Instead,
I'm going to give gifts to this person. And when
I'm going into repeat, I let them go from any
expectations that I have for them. The same way, I
(31:15):
would want you to release me from expectations because I'm
not going to live up to them.
S4 (31:21):
Wow.
S1 (31:22):
And that's all a part of this. And that's for anybody.
You don't have to be a single mom in order
to gain from what you just talked about. That is
that's like all the light bulbs going on. And and
part of that is just, you know, you could have said, hey,
what's going on? Hey, Hannah, what's going on? You could
have done that. But because of and I, my sense
(31:43):
is because of some of the trauma in your own
life and and the marriage and everything that happened there.
It's very easy to take responsibility and say it must be.
Must be me. It must be something I did. It
must be. And go down that trail. That's an easier
trail because then you can control it. Um, you know,
you can blame yourself and then at least know where
(32:05):
to place all that blame. Even if you don't deserve it,
you know that would at least make sense. But the
little boy with, I assume it's a boy with leukemia, um,
you know that? Just. Do you have any? This is
a rabbit trail. Do you have any idea what happened
to that child?
S2 (32:24):
Yeah, she. She didn't touch with that family. And still does. He, um,
he did not survive the leukemia. And we. But we
treasure their family. And she does still keep it. It
was she. She loved babysitting for that little kid. But, um,
it is one of those things where it's like, the
five R's will destroy relationships. It'll destroy them within our homes,
(32:45):
and it'll destroy them outside our home. I have found
this even in the work situation. Chris, you're an author.
You know what this is like? I have had books published,
you know, two books published with, you know, my publisher,
my first publisher sent them, then two more ideas that
they said, hey, thanks for sending it, but no thank you.
I made up a story about that and then didn't
(33:06):
submit again. Later on, I saw him at a conference
and they're like, hey, you're one of our authors. Why
haven't we heard from you? And it was like, well,
because I felt rejected and I made up a story
in my head. You know.
S1 (33:18):
And I'm out for revenge.
S2 (33:20):
Yeah. And I'm just like, fine. Yeah. So it's so
important that whatever I'm thinking to go. Wait, what are
the facts? Go back to the facts because there's no
emotion involved with the facts. Here's the other thing, though.
For people that have been through a situation such as mine,
there have been sometimes somebody who on purpose did set
out to hurt me. And then I've. Okay. What do
(33:43):
you do with that? Well, that's where you just say,
you know what that is? Them being them again. That's
just them being them. That's their choice. But again, I
don't have to engage and I don't have to go
into the Fiveaa parade.
S1 (33:57):
The fiveaa stepping out of the Fiveaa parade I love it.
Peggy Sue Wells has co-written the ten best Decisions a
Single Mom Can Make. It's a featured resource at Chris
Fabbri's archive.org. But wait, there is more. There's a free
download for anybody who wants to go to the website,
and I'll tell you about that in a minute. But
first I want to talk with Maryann in Ohio. Hi, Maryann.
(34:18):
Go right ahead.
S5 (34:19):
Hello, Chris. Um, okay. I've been a single mom for
a long time. Um, since I was 28, and I
am now in my 80s. And I want to say
that the Lord has totally been faithful to us in
all these years. I raised my two sons. My oldest
(34:40):
son went to heaven when he was 19. He he
had been born with a heart defect and it came
back on him at that time. My other son, Barry,
was there with Michael and me when when Michael went
to heaven. I'll never forget that. He was supposed to
(35:02):
be off in a soccer game, and he came home,
came in instead, and sat down. And I asked him
why he was still here. He didn't know. Ten minutes later,
Michael took his last breath. So the Lord has been
faithful to the three of us being together, even through
Michael's passing onto the Lord. Barry, um, has done well
(35:27):
in life. He became a fighter pilot. He even got
to go to MIT for some special courses. And all
I can say is, you know, they say sons of
single moms usually end up in prison. And I tell you,
girls out there who are single, you stay with the
(35:50):
Lord because he will bless your lives and he will
bless your children. So I want to thank you for
this author. She's very intelligent.
S1 (36:02):
I agree, I think her five R's that she was
just talking about, that'll that'll go for anybody. But I
can you know what I'm hearing on the line here.
Peggy Sue is a Mary Ann who is so proud
of her sons and their lives, and the way that
God walked with them together through it. Sounds like some
some valleys. What do you think, Peggy Sue?
S2 (36:24):
God admire that she's done that. A son that's gone
to MIT and been a fighter pilot. And you had
to say goodbye too soon to another son that's rugged.
S6 (36:36):
Yeah, it is.
S1 (36:38):
It is. And I can sense that you're saying that
God was there. You mentioned a little earlier Peggy Sue,
of how to Do that was one of the decisions.
The first decisions that you made was to keep your
kids connected with God. And there's a resource that we
have linked at the website that's absolutely free. You don't
have to get the book. I think it's included in
(36:58):
the book, isn't it?
S2 (37:00):
It is in the back of the book as an appendix.
But yeah, we're going to make it available so you
don't have to get the book to get started.
S1 (37:06):
It's called Let's Get Growing and it's a free resource.
You can download it if you go to Chris Fabry live,
this is basically practical. Helps for you for a single
mom and her kids with devotional life. Is that is
that what it is?
S2 (37:21):
It is. I remember when I was first in church
with my first child, and the pastor kept talking about
doing family Bible time, and I was like, well, how
exactly do you do that? And so these are how
we did it. Grab the tips that work for you
and have some fun.
S6 (37:37):
Yeah, let's get growing.
S1 (37:38):
It's a free resource at the website, Chris Fabry. We
also have the book linked right there. The ten Best
Decisions A Single Mom Can Make A Biblical Guide for
navigating family life on your own. It's going to be
a lifeline to somebody I know that. Just go to Chris.
Talk more with Peggy Sue straight ahead on Moody Radio.
(38:09):
Our remaining moments of Peggy Sue Wells, who's written with
Pam Farrell. The ten Best Decisions a Single Mom can Make.
A biblical guide for navigating family life on your own.
There's been something for everybody on the conversation in the
conversation today, and I want to get Karen in here
from Cedarville, Ohio. Hi, Karen. Tell me why you called.
S7 (38:30):
Hi. Yes, I was a single mom of four. And
by the way, I'm a first time caller.
S6 (38:41):
Hey.
S1 (38:42):
You win the prize.
S7 (38:45):
And, uh, you know, my observation of other, uh, parents
that had navigated that route was that many times, uh,
the parents would put the child in the center of their, um,
disagreements and kind of make them their spies. And, uh,
(39:09):
I chose never to to ask those kinds of questions
when the kids came home.
S1 (39:16):
Is that hard to do? Did you have to hold
back when you wanted to know?
S7 (39:21):
Oh, yes. That that was definitely the case. And the
other choice that I made was to always speak highly
of their dad, no matter, um, what decisions he had
made that were not, uh, positive. Um, did not want
(39:45):
them to have to deal with that. Yeah.
S6 (39:50):
That is that's.
S1 (39:51):
A choice that you have to make and you have
to stick with. Then every time you know the split.
Because that was one of the things we were talking
about in the break, this split time with kids from
one to another. So that goes right along. Karen, thank
you for your call. Peggy Sue, what do you say?
S2 (40:06):
Yeah. Karen is brilliant in that the going back and
forth for the children is rugged on the kids. I mean,
think about it. I mean, every if every other weekend
you have to pack your suitcase and go stay someplace
else where the rules are different and the environment's different,
and the friends are different and everything is different, that
bouncing back and forth is tough. And they're not supposed
(40:29):
to be the spies. And we're not supposed to ask
them those things. I tried to make it so that
the transition time would be as easy as possible. I
would welcome them home with, hey, hope you had a
great time. And then we generally watched a comedy movie
because they needed to process. They needed to decompress. I
didn't ask questions. Um, if they needed to talk, they
(40:51):
would come and talk to me. The thing that's going
to happen all the time, and we either feed this
or we let it go. But there's always going to
be that tension back and forth. And so to be
able to just allow that other parent to be who
that other parent is, the kids are smart. They'll figure
it out. But to allow them to be who they are.
Because the moment I'm trying to control that other parent
that well, you have to have the same rules or
(41:12):
you have to do the same things the way I
want it done. We're just going to we're just going
to fight, you know, it's not worth it. So let
go of the expectations, let that parent be that parent,
and then let the kids have their honest relationship with
that parent. And then the best thing that we do
at our end is that we send them off with
a smile and set them up for success, and we
(41:35):
welcome them back with a smile, and we give them
time to shift gears and to laugh a little bit
and to, you know, ease back into being at home
and don't keep bringing the tension. And the did they did,
she did. Who did? Whatever. Just don't just let it go. Um,
and that's the best thing to do.
S6 (41:54):
You also.
S1 (41:54):
Deal.
S6 (41:55):
With.
S1 (41:55):
Dating in the ten best decisions a single mom can make,
whether you or your spouse passed away or whether there's
been a divorce. Um, that's a that's a big issue.
When do you do you date? What do you say
to single moms?
S2 (42:12):
One thing I say for sure is that if your
dog or your horse or your kid doesn't like the
person that you are, um, with, pay very close attention
to that, because dogs and horses don't lie. Um, and
before you start dating, you're dealing with your children's hearts.
They're already raw. This is a tough situation for them. Always,
I recommend make sure that your children are okay, that
(42:35):
they are. They're settled. They're they're balanced. They they don't
need you a whole lot. They're able to give you
that space so that you can date, get to know
somebody really well before you bring them home to introduce
to the children, because the children have a hole in
their heart and they're eager to fill it. And so
we don't want to bring something into their lives that
then they have to say goodbye again to, because it
(42:57):
ends up that it's not going to be a long
term relationship. I also really recommend, you know what parenting,
Much as it seems like when you're in the middle
of it, it's going to last forever. It's just a season.
And so what about just being a strong, powerful, single
parent home and tell those children are adults? Because that'll
(43:17):
happen soon enough, but then they don't have to do more,
you know, changes. And you talked with Ron deal. Step
parenting can work. But it's also it's got its challenges.
So sometimes it's better to just maybe just wait till
they're grown. And then you had a program just recently
on safety in church. Well, when you're bringing new people
into your family, they don't always have the same type
(43:40):
of relationships and care for your children. There are safety
issues involved. And so we have to be well aware
of that as as moms when we're dating, is are
our children safe? Is the person that we're bringing in safe?
Are the person that comes with this other person safe
because they have friends and relatives? And so really be
very careful about dating While there are children in the home?
S1 (44:04):
Yes. What do you say to churches? Is it a
good idea to have a single mom, a Sunday school
class or ministry or breakout session or home study or
something like that that goes through a book like the
ten Best Decisions a Single Mom Can Make.
S2 (44:21):
I think every church should buy a case of the
ten best decisions a single mom can make, and have
them available and pass them out. And even if you
walk through your neighborhood and you find single moms there
and give them this book and say, hey, you know,
we would be happy to go through these chapters with you.
And maybe it's a Bible study. Maybe you just pair
them up with somebody else and they go through chapter
(44:41):
by chapter. But do give them they need the resource.
But then welcome these these families in the single parent
families into the church. Do not just relegate that mom
to the Sunday school class for single parents or for
single people. I personally wanted to be in the middle
of the biggest Sunday school you have that just had
(45:03):
every day. You know, people, just people. People that are married,
people that are not married. It didn't matter. I just
wanted to be with people and so bring them in
there and then set them up with a success. Net
partner her with three people that can help her make
progress in the areas where she's struggling, and you'll find
she's one of your best volunteers. She knows how to
make things work.
S1 (45:24):
I want to ask you, as we end here, what
success is as a single mom. So think about that
in a minute. The ten best Decisions a Single Mom
can make. By Peggy Sue Wells, Pam Farrell. Just go
to Chris Fabry Live.com. You'll see the five, uh, in there,
as well as, uh, many, many other things. But at
bottom line, in 30s or less, what is success for
(45:47):
a single mom?
S2 (45:49):
Probably what you would judge success for, even for a
non single mom. As parents, we want to set our
kids up so that they can be personally responsible, functioning,
contributing Eating adults. I think that's what we're looking for.
S1 (46:03):
I like it. This has been so good. And we've
got folks who are asking, do the five Rs. Again,
I can't do justice to them. Go back and listen
to the podcast that we have. We'll have for you
what chapter is the five or the five Rs in?
S2 (46:19):
I believe it's chapter four and we've got a whole
chapter on just that. The five.
S1 (46:25):
Got it. Okay. Or send me an email. I'll give
you an overview of them. Peggy Sue, it's great to
get to talk with you. Thanks for doing this today.
God bless you, friend.
S2 (46:32):
Thank you for your time, Chris.
S1 (46:34):
What an encouraging program today, Peggy Sue Wells, Pam Farrell
they've written the ten best decisions a single mom can make,
the five R's and chapter number four. And come back
tomorrow for Chris Fabry live production of Moody Radio, a
ministry of Moody Bible Institute.
No matter how you became a single mom, the decisions
you have to make are the same. The concerns, the fears,
the anxiety, the weight of all the questions, of all
the unknowns. What's going to happen in the future? Today
on Chris Fabry Live the ten best Decisions a Single
(00:25):
Mom Can Make. That's our featured resource. And the co-author
of that book is going to join us to talk
about those decisions and how to navigate family life on
your own. Straight ahead. And here's the best news. You
do not have to do this alone, even though it
might feel like you have to. Single mom of seven
(00:45):
Peggy Sue Wells is going to talk about those ten
best decisions a single mom could make here on a
best of broadcast. Chris Fabry live. If you hear a
phone number or dated information, disregard that or program is
recorded today. Oh, I really hope this one hits you
right in the heart. And if this is not where
you are, there may be somebody you know who needs
(01:08):
to hear this broadcast. Tell them about that and let
me thank our team. Behind the scenes. Ryan McConaughey is
doing all things technical. Trisha's our producer. Oh, I should
take thank Lisa and Tara too, because they pick up
their end of the back fence as well. We really
appreciate them. And while I'm thanking people, hats off to
my back fence friends and partners across the fruited plain.
(01:31):
If you have ever heard a conversation that encouraged you here,
put a little vim, vigor and vitality in your heart
and soul. Thank a friend or a partner of this program,
because we come to you each day because they lend
their support to this daily endeavor. And there are those
who can't give. We know that. And I'm so grateful
to those who give, not only for themselves, but in
(01:53):
the place of others. Your generosity gives us the ability
to have a A conversation like the one you're about
to hear. So if you can become a friend or
a partner, do that today. Maybe you didn't even know
this program was listener supported. Call or click through 86695 febry.
Or go to Chris Fabriclive. Org. A friend gives a
(02:15):
one time gift and receives our thank you for the month.
A partner gives a recurring monthly gift and has access
to all of our thank yous. Plus, you get a
signed copy of my novel The Promise of Jesse Woods.
You get the weekly back fence post, which is a
video that we send from yours truly. You'll see me
in my natural habitat. If you give $30 or more
(02:36):
a month, you get to go shopping. As Janet Parshall says, 50%
off everything in Moody Publishers catalog. So come on and
join the join the fun. Would you go to Chris?
Or call us at (866) 953-2279? And thanks for your support
of the radio backyard fence. Peggy Sue Wells is the
(03:00):
best selling author or co-author of nearly 30 books. She
helps people implement this is like a life sentence about
her life. She helps people implement the life giving rhythms
of working hard and resting well to live better together.
Isn't that good? She's joining us today from the great
state of Indiana, and her featured resource is a book
that she wrote with Pam Farrell, The ten Best Decisions
(03:24):
A Single Mom Can Make A Biblical Guide for navigating
family life on your own. Peggy Sue, how are you
doing today?
S2 (03:31):
Oh, Chris, it's so nice to be able to talk
with you and encourage those single parent families.
S1 (03:36):
Yes. Is there any difference between a single? There's a difference.
I know there's a gender difference, first of all, but
single mom and single dad listening. You're not trying to, uh,
push aside the single dads, but since you were are
a single mom, you're writing to your tribe, right?
S2 (03:53):
I'm writing to who I had experience actually being. But yeah,
there are single dads out there. My hat is off
to them and there's not as many as there are
single moms. However, um, we're both doing the same thing.
We're doing our best to raise our kids.
S1 (04:09):
All right, so tell us your story. Chapter one. He's gone. Uh,
tell me what happened the night you pulled into the driveway.
S2 (04:15):
Um, we'd had kind of an escalating situation, and it
had just gotten to the place where the kids and
I had gone to church. We came home one evening,
and as we pulled down the driveway, the house was
dark and it usually has lights on. And his car
was gone. The kids, when we pulled in, ran upstairs
and checked in the medicine chest and announced that the
(04:37):
toothbrush was gone and we knew he had left. And, um,
we had done a lot. We had tried a lot
of different counseling. We tried a lot. You know, I
remember sitting in a chair thinking, I have tried absolutely
everything I can to keep it together. And I think
that's how it is for a lot of families. Nobody
wants their marriage to end. Nobody wants that commitment to
(04:59):
come to a stop. And when it does, and that's
kind of where we started. The ten best decisions a
single mom can make was, you know, it almost doesn't
matter how you got here. We just want to recognize
the fact that solo parenting may not be the ideal,
but it is our real. And so how can we
then do our very best so that our children and
(05:19):
our families can thrive?
S1 (05:21):
Bingo. Bingo. So where? However you got here, let's talk
about where you are, you know, and what, where you
moved from here. And one of the things that happened
to you then early on, because I think your youngest child,
you're the single parent of seven, your youngest child was
like one year old when he moved out, right?
S2 (05:41):
Yeah. She was a year old. Yep.
S1 (05:43):
Wow. So one of your the older children than that?
One of them, uh, the daughters asked you. Mom, can
we not tell others that dad is gone.
S2 (05:54):
Yeah, we were pretty. We were pretty embarrassed and humiliated.
And I can tell you where that comes from. It's
sort of that feeling of, gosh, if I were valuable enough,
or if I was important enough, this person would have
made extra effort to try to work with us to
make it work. And that's kind of a stigma that
(06:14):
we carry with us. I, um, I grew up in
a single parent home, so I felt that way when
my dad left. I'm like, ah, if I'd have been
valuable enough. And we sort of felt that as their, um,
when my husband left, the kids were feeling that as well.
And what I would really like parents to understand and
for their kids that, you know, are going through this
(06:36):
right now, is that people do what they do for
their own reasons, and it rarely has anything to do
with us. They have the reasons that they make the
decisions that they make that make perfect sense to them.
And a lot of times, it doesn't have a whole
lot to do with us. However, the choices that people
that are close to us make will have a Grand
(06:57):
Canyon size impact on our lives.
S1 (07:00):
Yes. And then dealing with that child, you can't deal
with the child and the questions bouncing this off of
somebody else. I mean, you can have a friend do that,
but your spouse is not going to do that. You
have to do that alone. You have to process it alone,
and you have to process your own grief and the
struggles that you're going through at the same time. Right.
S2 (07:20):
Exactly. And that trauma that happens that, you know, just
going through this because generally it's not something that happens
in a moment. Generally you have a relationship that you've
been trying, you've been working. It's getting worse. So it's
been it's been a process. And then it comes down
to that it happens. However, it doesn't stop with just
(07:41):
the partner that leaves because we have more hurt. That
comes up every time. Like you have to have maybe
a relocation. You have to change a job. Maybe you
have to change homes and, you know, get a new address.
Anytime there's a visitation, anytime you have to split up
the holidays, anytime there's that weekly phone call. It's just
a perpetual, you know, thing that keeps happening to your
(08:02):
heart over and over and over again.
S1 (08:04):
And Pam, your co-author, Pam Farrell, experienced this as a
as a young girl herself, didn't she?
S2 (08:11):
I pursued Pam to be my co-author on this project
because Pam was raised by a single mom and Pam
and Bill Farrell, um, everybody knows him from men are
like waffles. Women are like spaghetti. They are champions for marriage.
And they have held together as a very strong marriage
is a good example. And their kids are doing well.
And so what I wanted people to understand was growing
(08:34):
up in this situation, this is not, um, it's not
going to be your identity, but it will be an experience.
And we can all grow through this experience. It's not
something that was a surprise to God. He will teach
us about himself. Even in this he is at work,
even in this. And so I wanted Pam to come
alongside because it was like, look, look, look, this is
(08:57):
not where you're going to be forever. There is still
a bright future. God knows good things for you. I
would love to introduce you to to today's single mom,
because there's a lot of myths around who's a single mom.
And reality sometimes is very different than what people think.
S1 (09:14):
And that is the perfect segue to our next segment,
where we will deal with those myths of the single mom.
If you go to the website, you'll see Peggy Sue
Wells book, the ten Best Decisions a Single Mom Can Make. Again,
go to. Our program is recorded. Don't call us today,
(09:37):
but stay with us. There's more straight ahead on Moody Radio.
This is one of those resources I hope you don't need.
You know, I hope you don't become a single mom
or a single dad. But if you are, it's like
(09:58):
a lifeline. It's like somebody coming alongside who says, look,
I've been where you are. I've experienced some of the
things that you're thinking about right now here. Let me
give you a little bit of of what I've learned
down the trail, the ten best decisions a single mom
Can make. Peggy Sue Wells wrote this with Pam Farrell.
(10:18):
You can find it. It's our featured resource at Chris
Fabry Live. Chris. The the Segway is such a beautiful Segway.
And you've worked in radio. Peggy Sue, you know exactly
how to do this. The myths about today's single mom.
Tell me some of those myths.
S2 (10:35):
I think the ones that overshadowed me the most was
that I'm a bad wife. If I can't get my
marriage together and I'm a bad mom, if I can't
have my children be in a really good, safe, nurturing home.
And one of the things that's happened, um, as my
oldest or my youngest, as she got married, I had
some people look at me and say, wow, you know,
you've raised some kids as a single mom. Did you
(10:57):
learn a few things? And I said, I've learned a
pile of things that don't work, and I've learned a
very strong handful of things that work really well. So
when Pam and I got together, we packed this book
full of tangible tips and practical helps that work for parents.
And we've had a lot of people that are not
solo parenting. They are in a parenting with their spouse,
(11:21):
and they have said they've read the book and just
pulled out all the good parenting that they've been able
to implement them because they're just good parenting tips, whether
you're parenting solo or with a partner. Um, one of
the things that I wanted people to understand, too, about
today's single mom is that the reason this topic is
so important is that 1 in 4 homes is single
(11:43):
mom led. So drive down your street tonight and count one, two, three, four.
But 1 in 4 is a single mom led home. 50%
of kids in the US are expected to live in
a single parent home before reaching age 18. That is
half of our kids. Most single moms began in a
committed relationship and are single due to separation and divorce.
(12:07):
They never intended they didn't start out to raise their
children solo. Three fourths of single moms have full time careers.
Less than half receive government assistance, and most only until
they can get on their feet so that they can
support their families themselves. Less than half received child support,
and the average child support for those that do receive
(12:29):
it is less than $6,000 a year, which if you
put braces on your kids, you know how short that's
going to come up. 40% are over 40 years old,
so 40% of single moms are over 40. 100% of
all single moms wish that the cleaning fairy showed up
weekly and left everything sparkling and something delicious simmering in
(12:51):
the oven. And then, really importantly, 85% of our single
parent families do not attend church. They feel alone and
isolated and judged. However, single moms are not alone because
there are 15 million solo moms raising 22 million children.
S1 (13:11):
Wow. Let's stick with that. With the church and isolated
and judged. Is that internal to the single mom? Meaning
she feels she feels this way no matter how she's
been treated by those in the church? Or is it
coming from externals? She has been treated and judged. Um,
(13:35):
any idea of what the preponderance of single moms experience?
S2 (13:40):
It is 100% both. We come into the church. Like
when you have a single parent family walk into church,
they're feeling less than and so they feel less than
just walking in the door just because of the pain
that they've gone through with the family falling apart. Then
the church in the past. And this is going to
(14:01):
be my generation in particular. We haven't known what to
do with situations like this. And so the church hasn't
been particularly like geared up to know how to minister
to the families. And they wanted to be really, really
careful not to just sort of like encourage divorce, which
I'm here to tell you. All the single moms don't
(14:23):
we don't want divorce either. We know what it looks like.
We know the pain that it causes. So there is
a movement in the church now, mostly because a lot
of kids like my children's age have been through this,
and so they have more of an understanding. Another, um,
myth that you had talked about is that single moms
(14:43):
are bad moms because their kids are the ones that
are down at the principal's office so often. And there's
actually a really good reason for that. And it's because
when we go through a situation such as the breaking
up of the family, our brain goes into trauma brain.
So we switch off the thinking and we go into trauma,
(15:05):
which is fight, flight, freeze, or please, which works really
well during a trauma like a crisis, like if you're
having to run from a bear. But then our brain
tends to stay there. And so then we're not making
really good decisions. So this shows up with single moms
where we will watch her from a distance and say,
what is she thinking? Well she's not. And and so
(15:26):
that's why her decisions seem odd from the outside. But
how it shows up in our children is it shows
up as a behavior issue. And so those kids that
wind up down at the principal's office, it's not a
behavior issue. It's a heart issue. They have a broken heart.
S1 (15:44):
They're struggling. They're struggling. And why wouldn't they be with
all of that change that's going on? So if you're
a single mom listening right now, or maybe you're the
grandparent of some grandkids and you're seeing exactly play out
in the life of your son or daughter with, you know,
who's a single parent. This is one of those resources
(16:05):
that I think will be a great a breath of
fresh air, maybe a little bit of oxygen for their
soul and their life. The ten best decisions a Single
mom can make. It's our featured resource at Chris Fabriclive. Org.
Chris Fabriclive. Before we get to the ten, though, tell
me about the internet and social media and today's comparison
(16:30):
and the vitriol that can happen there and all that.
How is that affecting the single mom today?
S2 (16:37):
We don't get a lot of good press there. Um,
and we've even had some elections where they've said that
it's the single moms that are actually bringing our, our
communities and our society down. So that's not helping. Um,
we've also got situations too, where in the media, um,
we've sort of noticed and this will be with a
(17:00):
lot of our celebrities and stuff. We're actually sort of
putting the having children ahead of even being married. And
so our kids that are growing up, there's some confusion
there too. Do you, do you make commitments to one
another or do you have children and then see where
it goes? Um, either way, though, that single parenting thing
(17:21):
is unsettling for the children, and it's tough on the mom.
A lot of decisions for her to have to make,
and it's a lot of responsibility. And, um, God put
together so that we could complement one another. And so that, again,
would be the ideal. But when it doesn't work out
for the ideal, one of the best things that I
(17:43):
learned to do with my kids was to really press
into the Lord, because when the foundation is shaken. And
so I know one of my kids said everything I
believed about our family was not true. And I can
see how they thought that from their point of view
when everything fell apart. So when everything that has you
(18:03):
thought you could put your all your weight on, that
you could count on, your foundation is shaken. I needed
to give them something that they could actually lean on 100%.
So we spent a lot of time that we made
sure every night we spent time with the Lord because
the Lord was going to stay consistent no matter what.
His word was going to be consistent. I remember going
(18:24):
to my mentor and just crying and she said, what
are you so worried about? And I said that I
won't be enough to love them, enough to give them
what they need as just by myself. And she said,
you're not. You won't. I was like, um, this isn't helping.
And she said, no, no, no. She said, please understand.
Even if you have both parents in the household, you
(18:46):
cannot give that child as much as that child needs.
The source is the Lord. The source is their savior.
The one that's going to fill that emotional tank and
fill all their needs is going to be the Lord.
So the first thing that we tried to make sure
that we did was every night before bed. We had
prayer time. We spent time in the word. And so
I wanted to give them that foundation of you can
(19:08):
always go to Scripture. This is where you can find
these promises. You can lean on these. They're always there.
You can cry out in the night when you're scared,
when you feel alone, whatever. And the Lord is always there.
You will not be alone.
S1 (19:22):
Peggy Sue Wells is with us today. I'm really resonating
with what she's saying. Uh, Ron Nandyal were on a
couple of weeks ago, and we were talking about the
mindful marriage, and they brought up that same thing that
the fight or flight, the and the trauma and the
amygdala and a lot of things I didn't understand, but
I got this, that the way you respond to your
spouse in marriage, in whenever there's a conflict, this immediate
(19:45):
response that you can have of being defensive or whatever
that that comes from, from something that's way back there
and you got to deal with that. And it's the
same thing with the single mom. If she is dealing
with fight or flight and you had seven kids, you know,
you were dealing with a one year old as well
as the other children, you hardly had time to breathe,
(20:08):
let alone think through, okay, what do we do here?
What do we do next? And so my guess is
this book came out of that here. These are the
decisions that you can make or the things to stay
away from making big decisions at a time when you're kerfuffles,
you know, in the heart you. Those are the types
(20:28):
of things that, uh, single moms and dads need to
be told, right?
S2 (20:34):
Absolutely. And we are stuck in that fight. Flight. Freeze
or please. So are our children. We don't realize that
that's where we are. And so when we when Pam
and I wrote the ten best decisions a Single Mom
Can make, we went through these top decisions to say,
I know you're not thinking. I know this is difficult
(20:55):
to decide. We're going to walk you through this, come
through this one chapter at a time with us as
we give you some guidance and give you some good direction.
Pretty soon the thinking part of the brain comes back online,
and then you can start making the best decisions that
you need to make when you most need to make them.
(21:15):
Because we're dealing with our children.
S1 (21:17):
Yes. All right. That's the featured resource at the website
chris.org the ten best decisions a single mom can make.
Let me go to the very first decision and then
we'll take your calls. 3675. If you're a single mom
and you say, here's the best decision that I made
(21:38):
as a as a single mom early on or right now,
I'd love to hear from you. Or maybe have a question.
You're right in the middle of this. (877) 548-3675. What is
the the first decision that you decided to tackle? And
now I don't hear Peggy Sue. Is Peggy Sue still there?
S2 (22:00):
Oh, sorry.
S1 (22:01):
Oh, there you are. Well, you thought I was asking the, uh,
the caller? Yeah. Okay. All right.
S2 (22:05):
So, but I do. I have an answer.
S1 (22:07):
I have.
S3 (22:07):
An answer. All right, you give me your answer.
S2 (22:10):
Okay. My very first and most important and best decision
that I made was to introduce my children to their
Savior and to do it as early as possible, and
then to make sure that we spend time daily in
the word so that they were familiar with the Bible.
They knew where to open it to. They knew where
to read it. They could read it out loud. It's
such a big book. It has all these words in it,
(22:32):
but we did our Bible time so that they were
very comfortable with that. They knew they could reach out.
They knew they could read the Scripture. They knew they
could talk to the Lord. The second most important decision
that I made came a little bit later on, and
it had everything to do with the five R's and
staying in good relationship with our children. So the way
(22:53):
that that happened was, you know, we we've had a disrespect.
When disrespect comes up into a relationship, that's what really
rocks it. I think you can have relationships that don't
have love in them, but when you lose the respect,
we start really going into some toxicity pretty quickly. So
I would notice that sometimes we would get together for
(23:14):
the holidays and we'd sort of emotionally abuse one another
and then have pie, and it was like, I don't
want to do this. You know, I grew up like that.
What is the missing element? And I was talking to
the Lord. I'm like, I need to be building healthy
relationships with our children. And so he showed me there
was one Saturday morning that my daughter Hannah. She's number
(23:35):
six of the seven, and she's a teenager. And she
got up and she was grousing around the house, and
I made her some pancakes and told some jokes, and
she did not eat the pancakes, and she didn't laugh
at my jokes. And so in that moment, I went
into the first R, which is rejection. I'm making these
efforts toward her. She's not receiving them. I'm feeling rejected.
(23:57):
So that's the first r. I don't like feeling rejected.
So then I moved into resentment. I'm resentful that I'm
feeling rejected. And in that I made up a story
in my head. I'm like, oh gosh, she's probably feeling
this way, treating me this way because I really stink
as a mom. She'd rather be anywhere on Saturday morning
besides home here with me. So then I went into resistance,
(24:18):
which is the third R. So we're sitting at the
table for breakfast and it's like, okay, you're not going
to talk to me. I'm not going to talk to
you like we've, you know, like that's not mature at all.
And we do that. We get any time you've done
the silent treatment or received it, that's a resistance. The
next step in that would have been resent would have
been revenge. And I was ready to go into revenge
(24:41):
because I was thinking, my heart hurts. I want you
to know that my heart hurts. So the way that
I'll show you that is I will do something that
makes your heart hurt. Now, when we say it out loud,
it makes no sense. But if you sit back and
watch how we interact with one another, it's a common
thing for people to do. So as I.
S1 (24:58):
Was. Stop right there. Stop right there. Because this is
this is the other thing in radio. This is what
people are going to listen to the next segment, because
they want to know what was really going on in
your daughter's heart. You, you know, you went through all
of these different things. And there's, you know, every parent
who's listening, who's a single parent or not has gone
(25:18):
through exactly what you've talked about that rejection, the resentment,
the resistance and the revenge. If you're going to do that,
I'm going to throw this pancake at you. So what
was going on there and how did she turn that around?
Don't miss our next segment with Peggy Sue Wells. She
is the co-author of the ten Best Decisions a Single
(25:38):
Mom Can Make. We have it as our featured resource today,
Chris Fabry Live. Click through today's information. You'll see it
right there at Chris. More straight ahead on Moody Radio.
(26:06):
Real stories. Real life, real hurts. Real struggles. Real hope.
That's what we're about here at Chris Fabry Live. Thank
you so much for your support of this program. As
we talk about a book by Pam Farrell and our guest,
Peggy Sue Wells, The ten Best Decisions a Single Mom
Can Make. a biblical guide for navigating family life on
(26:28):
your own. And I think this story see, we are
all just stories. Your your life is a story. My
life is a story. We're in the middle of whatever
chapter we're in. But when we are faithful with those stories,
when we're faithful with the struggles, then that not only
allows God in to help us, but it allows him
(26:51):
to work in us so that he can work through us.
And that's exactly what is happening here. I can't tell
you how many people reached out after Peggy Sue told
this story about her and her daughter. We'll get right
back to it. Just let me tell you. Go to
the website. You want to support us, you can do
that right there. You want to find out more about
the resource, go to Chris Fabry live. Peggy Sue Wells
(27:17):
is with us today. I'm going to your calls, I promise.
We're talking about the ten best decisions a single mom
can make. But we're right in the middle of a
story about Hannah and the pancakes. And I think I
told Peggy Sue in the break that she should write
a children's book, Hannah and the pancakes, because this is like,
you see this playing out, and I've seen it with
my own kids. They're in a bad mood. Why? It
(27:39):
must be me. And I'm going to get back at them.
And they're not. And it made what was going on there. Really?
S2 (27:46):
Yeah. Um, we do think it's all about us. As
I got ready to go into revenge, I would have
said something like, are you keeping your homework done? So
you keep those grades above sea levels, which that would
have been a stiletto, kind of aimed at her heart.
And when she would hear that, what's a kid going
to do? She's going to backpedal while mom's on the warpath.
(28:07):
Who knows why give her space? And as she would
backpedal and give distance there, I would have felt rejected again.
So then we would run into repeat. And so this happens.
This going into these five hours happens within families and households.
It happens with our neighbors. It happens in church. It
happens in work situation. So this was the place where
(28:28):
the Lord had started working with me. And right before
I said something about her homework, I felt God tap
me on the shoulder and say, are you paying attention?
Because you're like knee deep in the five R's. And
I was like, oh, gosh. So instead I said to her, Hannah,
the story I'm making up in my head right now
is you'd rather be anywhere Saturday morning than home with me.
(28:52):
And she kind of blinked and looked up, almost like,
you know, Hannah coming back to Earth. And she said,
I just found out the boy I babysit for has leukemia.
S4 (29:02):
Oh, wow.
S2 (29:04):
Right. It had nothing to do with me. And what
I came to realize out of that was I make
up stories when I'm feeling rejected, and that story becomes
my reality in my brain. And then I interact with
this person based on the story that is in my head,
not based on reality. And so this has been huge
(29:26):
for my family, for the kids and I to understand
what the five R's are and then to stay out
of them. So the first step for that, the very
first one, is when I realize I'm feeling rejected, I
just go back and go, what are the facts? And
the facts are? Hannah was grouchy and grousing around the
house that morning. If I would have left that there
(29:47):
as a typical teenager, that's not unusual. It would have
been fine, right? So. And we had this happen again.
You know, I have six daughters, one son. That's a
lot of weddings. And so weddings bring drama if you
want to have drama, have a wedding. And not too
long ago, with one of the recent weddings, one of
my daughters who was doing the shower said, so mom,
(30:08):
is your friend coming? I'm putting out the place settings.
And I said, I don't know. I don't know if
she's coming, I invited her, I've called twice, I haven't
heard back. You can hear the stilettos in my voice.
You can hear the emotion there. I had already made
up a story about why I had not heard from
my friend and my daughter, who's now well aware of
the five R's with me, said, so, mom, what's the facts?
(30:32):
And I was like, oh, the facts. The facts are,
you know what, I invited her. I have called twice.
I haven't heard back. You know what I'll call again?
It takes all the drama out of it. And so
by sticking to the facts, that has changed so much
in our relationships. Because I'm not making up stories and
then acting out on that. And so when I hit rejection,
(30:53):
I remember go back to the facts. When I hit resentment,
it's like, okay, I'm going to practice gratitude instead. When
I feel like I'm in resistance. Instead, I'm going to engage.
When I feel like I'm going to be vengeful. Instead,
I'm going to give gifts to this person. And when
I'm going into repeat, I let them go from any
expectations that I have for them. The same way, I
(31:15):
would want you to release me from expectations because I'm
not going to live up to them.
S4 (31:21):
Wow.
S1 (31:22):
And that's all a part of this. And that's for anybody.
You don't have to be a single mom in order
to gain from what you just talked about. That is
that's like all the light bulbs going on. And and
part of that is just, you know, you could have said, hey,
what's going on? Hey, Hannah, what's going on? You could
have done that. But because of and I, my sense
(31:43):
is because of some of the trauma in your own
life and and the marriage and everything that happened there.
It's very easy to take responsibility and say it must be.
Must be me. It must be something I did. It
must be. And go down that trail. That's an easier
trail because then you can control it. Um, you know,
you can blame yourself and then at least know where
(32:05):
to place all that blame. Even if you don't deserve it,
you know that would at least make sense. But the
little boy with, I assume it's a boy with leukemia, um,
you know that? Just. Do you have any? This is
a rabbit trail. Do you have any idea what happened
to that child?
S2 (32:24):
Yeah, she. She didn't touch with that family. And still does. He, um,
he did not survive the leukemia. And we. But we
treasure their family. And she does still keep it. It
was she. She loved babysitting for that little kid. But, um,
it is one of those things where it's like, the
five R's will destroy relationships. It'll destroy them within our homes,
(32:45):
and it'll destroy them outside our home. I have found
this even in the work situation. Chris, you're an author.
You know what this is like? I have had books published,
you know, two books published with, you know, my publisher,
my first publisher sent them, then two more ideas that
they said, hey, thanks for sending it, but no thank you.
I made up a story about that and then didn't
(33:06):
submit again. Later on, I saw him at a conference
and they're like, hey, you're one of our authors. Why
haven't we heard from you? And it was like, well,
because I felt rejected and I made up a story
in my head. You know.
S1 (33:18):
And I'm out for revenge.
S2 (33:20):
Yeah. And I'm just like, fine. Yeah. So it's so
important that whatever I'm thinking to go. Wait, what are
the facts? Go back to the facts because there's no
emotion involved with the facts. Here's the other thing, though.
For people that have been through a situation such as mine,
there have been sometimes somebody who on purpose did set
out to hurt me. And then I've. Okay. What do
(33:43):
you do with that? Well, that's where you just say,
you know what that is? Them being them again. That's
just them being them. That's their choice. But again, I
don't have to engage and I don't have to go
into the Fiveaa parade.
S1 (33:57):
The fiveaa stepping out of the Fiveaa parade I love it.
Peggy Sue Wells has co-written the ten best Decisions a
Single Mom Can Make. It's a featured resource at Chris
Fabbri's archive.org. But wait, there is more. There's a free
download for anybody who wants to go to the website,
and I'll tell you about that in a minute. But
first I want to talk with Maryann in Ohio. Hi, Maryann.
(34:18):
Go right ahead.
S5 (34:19):
Hello, Chris. Um, okay. I've been a single mom for
a long time. Um, since I was 28, and I
am now in my 80s. And I want to say
that the Lord has totally been faithful to us in
all these years. I raised my two sons. My oldest
(34:40):
son went to heaven when he was 19. He he
had been born with a heart defect and it came
back on him at that time. My other son, Barry,
was there with Michael and me when when Michael went
to heaven. I'll never forget that. He was supposed to
(35:02):
be off in a soccer game, and he came home,
came in instead, and sat down. And I asked him
why he was still here. He didn't know. Ten minutes later,
Michael took his last breath. So the Lord has been
faithful to the three of us being together, even through
Michael's passing onto the Lord. Barry, um, has done well
(35:27):
in life. He became a fighter pilot. He even got
to go to MIT for some special courses. And all
I can say is, you know, they say sons of
single moms usually end up in prison. And I tell you,
girls out there who are single, you stay with the
(35:50):
Lord because he will bless your lives and he will
bless your children. So I want to thank you for
this author. She's very intelligent.
S1 (36:02):
I agree, I think her five R's that she was
just talking about, that'll that'll go for anybody. But I
can you know what I'm hearing on the line here.
Peggy Sue is a Mary Ann who is so proud
of her sons and their lives, and the way that
God walked with them together through it. Sounds like some
some valleys. What do you think, Peggy Sue?
S2 (36:24):
God admire that she's done that. A son that's gone
to MIT and been a fighter pilot. And you had
to say goodbye too soon to another son that's rugged.
S6 (36:36):
Yeah, it is.
S1 (36:38):
It is. And I can sense that you're saying that
God was there. You mentioned a little earlier Peggy Sue,
of how to Do that was one of the decisions.
The first decisions that you made was to keep your
kids connected with God. And there's a resource that we
have linked at the website that's absolutely free. You don't
have to get the book. I think it's included in
(36:58):
the book, isn't it?
S2 (37:00):
It is in the back of the book as an appendix.
But yeah, we're going to make it available so you
don't have to get the book to get started.
S1 (37:06):
It's called Let's Get Growing and it's a free resource.
You can download it if you go to Chris Fabry live,
this is basically practical. Helps for you for a single
mom and her kids with devotional life. Is that is
that what it is?
S2 (37:21):
It is. I remember when I was first in church
with my first child, and the pastor kept talking about
doing family Bible time, and I was like, well, how
exactly do you do that? And so these are how
we did it. Grab the tips that work for you
and have some fun.
S6 (37:37):
Yeah, let's get growing.
S1 (37:38):
It's a free resource at the website, Chris Fabry. We
also have the book linked right there. The ten Best
Decisions A Single Mom Can Make A Biblical Guide for
navigating family life on your own. It's going to be
a lifeline to somebody I know that. Just go to Chris.
Talk more with Peggy Sue straight ahead on Moody Radio.
(38:09):
Our remaining moments of Peggy Sue Wells, who's written with
Pam Farrell. The ten Best Decisions a Single Mom can Make.
A biblical guide for navigating family life on your own.
There's been something for everybody on the conversation in the
conversation today, and I want to get Karen in here
from Cedarville, Ohio. Hi, Karen. Tell me why you called.
S7 (38:30):
Hi. Yes, I was a single mom of four. And
by the way, I'm a first time caller.
S6 (38:41):
Hey.
S1 (38:42):
You win the prize.
S7 (38:45):
And, uh, you know, my observation of other, uh, parents
that had navigated that route was that many times, uh,
the parents would put the child in the center of their, um,
disagreements and kind of make them their spies. And, uh,
(39:09):
I chose never to to ask those kinds of questions
when the kids came home.
S1 (39:16):
Is that hard to do? Did you have to hold
back when you wanted to know?
S7 (39:21):
Oh, yes. That that was definitely the case. And the
other choice that I made was to always speak highly
of their dad, no matter, um, what decisions he had
made that were not, uh, positive. Um, did not want
(39:45):
them to have to deal with that. Yeah.
S6 (39:50):
That is that's.
S1 (39:51):
A choice that you have to make and you have
to stick with. Then every time you know the split.
Because that was one of the things we were talking
about in the break, this split time with kids from
one to another. So that goes right along. Karen, thank
you for your call. Peggy Sue, what do you say?
S2 (40:06):
Yeah. Karen is brilliant in that the going back and
forth for the children is rugged on the kids. I mean,
think about it. I mean, every if every other weekend
you have to pack your suitcase and go stay someplace
else where the rules are different and the environment's different,
and the friends are different and everything is different, that
bouncing back and forth is tough. And they're not supposed
(40:29):
to be the spies. And we're not supposed to ask
them those things. I tried to make it so that
the transition time would be as easy as possible. I
would welcome them home with, hey, hope you had a
great time. And then we generally watched a comedy movie
because they needed to process. They needed to decompress. I
didn't ask questions. Um, if they needed to talk, they
(40:51):
would come and talk to me. The thing that's going
to happen all the time, and we either feed this
or we let it go. But there's always going to
be that tension back and forth. And so to be
able to just allow that other parent to be who
that other parent is, the kids are smart. They'll figure
it out. But to allow them to be who they are.
Because the moment I'm trying to control that other parent
that well, you have to have the same rules or
(41:12):
you have to do the same things the way I
want it done. We're just going to we're just going
to fight, you know, it's not worth it. So let
go of the expectations, let that parent be that parent,
and then let the kids have their honest relationship with
that parent. And then the best thing that we do
at our end is that we send them off with
a smile and set them up for success, and we
(41:35):
welcome them back with a smile, and we give them
time to shift gears and to laugh a little bit
and to, you know, ease back into being at home
and don't keep bringing the tension. And the did they did,
she did. Who did? Whatever. Just don't just let it go. Um,
and that's the best thing to do.
S6 (41:54):
You also.
S1 (41:54):
Deal.
S6 (41:55):
With.
S1 (41:55):
Dating in the ten best decisions a single mom can make,
whether you or your spouse passed away or whether there's
been a divorce. Um, that's a that's a big issue.
When do you do you date? What do you say
to single moms?
S2 (42:12):
One thing I say for sure is that if your
dog or your horse or your kid doesn't like the
person that you are, um, with, pay very close attention
to that, because dogs and horses don't lie. Um, and
before you start dating, you're dealing with your children's hearts.
They're already raw. This is a tough situation for them. Always,
I recommend make sure that your children are okay, that
(42:35):
they are. They're settled. They're they're balanced. They they don't
need you a whole lot. They're able to give you
that space so that you can date, get to know
somebody really well before you bring them home to introduce
to the children, because the children have a hole in
their heart and they're eager to fill it. And so
we don't want to bring something into their lives that
then they have to say goodbye again to, because it
(42:57):
ends up that it's not going to be a long
term relationship. I also really recommend, you know what parenting,
Much as it seems like when you're in the middle
of it, it's going to last forever. It's just a season.
And so what about just being a strong, powerful, single
parent home and tell those children are adults? Because that'll
(43:17):
happen soon enough, but then they don't have to do more,
you know, changes. And you talked with Ron deal. Step
parenting can work. But it's also it's got its challenges.
So sometimes it's better to just maybe just wait till
they're grown. And then you had a program just recently
on safety in church. Well, when you're bringing new people
into your family, they don't always have the same type
(43:40):
of relationships and care for your children. There are safety
issues involved. And so we have to be well aware
of that as as moms when we're dating, is are
our children safe? Is the person that we're bringing in safe?
Are the person that comes with this other person safe
because they have friends and relatives? And so really be
very careful about dating While there are children in the home?
S1 (44:04):
Yes. What do you say to churches? Is it a
good idea to have a single mom, a Sunday school
class or ministry or breakout session or home study or
something like that that goes through a book like the
ten Best Decisions a Single Mom Can Make.
S2 (44:21):
I think every church should buy a case of the
ten best decisions a single mom can make, and have
them available and pass them out. And even if you
walk through your neighborhood and you find single moms there
and give them this book and say, hey, you know,
we would be happy to go through these chapters with you.
And maybe it's a Bible study. Maybe you just pair
them up with somebody else and they go through chapter
(44:41):
by chapter. But do give them they need the resource.
But then welcome these these families in the single parent
families into the church. Do not just relegate that mom
to the Sunday school class for single parents or for
single people. I personally wanted to be in the middle
of the biggest Sunday school you have that just had
(45:03):
every day. You know, people, just people. People that are married,
people that are not married. It didn't matter. I just
wanted to be with people and so bring them in
there and then set them up with a success. Net
partner her with three people that can help her make
progress in the areas where she's struggling, and you'll find
she's one of your best volunteers. She knows how to
make things work.
S1 (45:24):
I want to ask you, as we end here, what
success is as a single mom. So think about that
in a minute. The ten best Decisions a Single Mom
can make. By Peggy Sue Wells, Pam Farrell. Just go
to Chris Fabry Live.com. You'll see the five, uh, in there,
as well as, uh, many, many other things. But at
bottom line, in 30s or less, what is success for
(45:47):
a single mom?
S2 (45:49):
Probably what you would judge success for, even for a
non single mom. As parents, we want to set our
kids up so that they can be personally responsible, functioning,
contributing Eating adults. I think that's what we're looking for.
S1 (46:03):
I like it. This has been so good. And we've
got folks who are asking, do the five Rs. Again,
I can't do justice to them. Go back and listen
to the podcast that we have. We'll have for you
what chapter is the five or the five Rs in?
S2 (46:19):
I believe it's chapter four and we've got a whole
chapter on just that. The five.
S1 (46:25):
Got it. Okay. Or send me an email. I'll give
you an overview of them. Peggy Sue, it's great to
get to talk with you. Thanks for doing this today.
God bless you, friend.
S2 (46:32):
Thank you for your time, Chris.
S1 (46:34):
What an encouraging program today, Peggy Sue Wells, Pam Farrell
they've written the ten best decisions a single mom can make,
the five R's and chapter number four. And come back
tomorrow for Chris Fabry live production of Moody Radio, a
ministry of Moody Bible Institute.
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
New Heights with Jason & Travis Kelce
Football’s funniest family duo — Jason Kelce of the Philadelphia Eagles and Travis Kelce of the Kansas City Chiefs — team up to provide next-level access to life in the league as it unfolds. The two brothers and Super Bowl champions drop weekly insights about the weekly slate of games and share their INSIDE perspectives on trending NFL news and sports headlines. They also endlessly rag on each other as brothers do, chat the latest in pop culture and welcome some very popular and well-known friends to chat with them. Check out new episodes every Wednesday. Follow New Heights on the Wondery App, YouTube or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to new episodes early and ad-free, and get exclusive content on Wondery+. Join Wondery+ in the Wondery App, Apple Podcasts or Spotify. And join our new membership for a unique fan experience by going to the New Heights YouTube channel now!