Voices of Wisdom: Larry McCarthy

As soon as I heard Pastor Larry McCarthy speak, I knew I wanted to know more. You'll hear from Larry, who is an assistant pastor at Moody Church in Chicago. His focus is on compassion, seniors, and local outreach. And through the years he's learned life lessons through the ups and downs, the victories and losses. His journey will encourage you! So don't miss the conversation on Chris Fabry Live.

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Episode Transcript

S1 (00:05):
I have been waiting months to have this conversation at
the radio backyard fence. Last fall, there was a memorial
service for Doctor George Sweeting, former president and chancellor of
Moody Bible Institute, and Pastor Larry McCarthy spoke at that gathering.
It was in September, and as soon as I heard him,
I thought, we need to have Larry on for a conversation.
His voice, his life experiences, his memories were also encouraging.

(00:30):
So we're going to get a dose of Pastor Larry
today at the Radio Backyard Fence. We're going to talk
with him about a whole lot of things, and we're
making this part of our Voices of Wisdom series that
we began last year. Though he's not very much further
down the trail than I am. And my hope is
that by the time the closing theme rolls today, your
heart will be a little lighter, your day a little brighter,

(00:53):
your outlook will get an uplift, and there will be
encouragement for whatever situation you find yourself in today. Let's
get going first with a thank you to our team.
Ryan McConaughey doing all things technical. Trish is our producer.
Anthony will be answering your calls today. Also a special
thanks to three new back fence partners. Norma, Deborah and
Linda are giving a gift each month to Chris Fabry

(01:16):
live to keep the back fence going here on Moody Radio.
They are going to receive my back fence post, which
is a a video of extra content behind the scenes
we send out every Thursday. We might get Larry to
to join us for that. Norma, Deborah and Linda are
also receiving a signed copy of The Promise of Jesse Woods,
a novel I wrote a few years ago, and Back

(01:36):
Fence Partners have access to our monthly thank you. This
month it's the Gospels excerpt from the Moody Bible commentary
from the two Michaels. So go to the website. You'll
see how you can become a back fence partner right there.
Chris Fabry live. You can also give a one time
gift if you haven't done that and you'd like to.
Chris Fabbri. Fabbri. y Chris Fabry lives. Or you can

(02:01):
call our number 8669543. There's someone who needs to hear
the conversation we're about to have today with Larry, and
you are part of getting that encouragement to someone else's
heart when you support us. [phone] or go to Chris
Fabry Livorno. I agree with the writer of Ecclesiastes. It

(02:25):
is better to go to a house of mourning than
to a house of feasting. For death is the destiny
of everyone. The living should take this to heart. And
that sounds sober, and it sounds almost dark in a way,
but it was to a house of mourning that I
visited virtually a few months ago, as we remembered the
life and ministry of Doctor George Sweeting, and it was

(02:46):
at that event that I saw and heard Larry McCarthy,
junior Pastor. Larry serves as pastor of Senior Adults and
Compassion Ministries at the Moody Church in Chicago. He oversees
a variety of ministries that seek to make Christ known
to those who are often forgotten. Larry also leads the
InFocus community. He and his wife and he said, I

(03:06):
could just say, just say I'm. I'm Meeta's husband. They
have three children, live in Chicago. Larry, how are you
doing today?

S2 (03:13):
Good afternoon. I'm so glad to be here. But your
your listeners are going to be disappointed. I listen to
this title. You said Voices of Wisdom, and I was like, well,
who's he going to have on today? What wisdom are
you going to have? But I'm thrilled to be here
and a pleasure to meet you. You're a lot taller
in person. Let me just say that so.

S1 (03:33):
So and I am I am not in Chicago with Larry,
but we can see each other, which is a wonderful thing.
All right. So I'm just going to I'm going to
back up the truck for for your wisdom here, Larry.
Let's see what happens. Because what I remember from that
service was when you were talking about Doctor Sweeting, you
went back to your childhood when he was pastor of
Moody Church. And now here you are at one of

(03:54):
the pastors at the church. So take me back to that.
What do you remember?

S2 (03:58):
Well, let's back up two more steps. We were raised Episcopalian, and, uh,
my father was very active in the Episcopal Church, but he,
in earnest started looking for God. And so he would
he would start visiting these other churches. Now, I was
quite content at, uh, Saint Andrews, the Episcopal Church, that

(04:21):
we were going to. I was about 10 or 11
years old. Um, what I enjoyed about it most, I think,
was the services were very brief. The sermon was about
six minutes. You had real wine with communion. This this
was good. These were all positive things. And so he
they started looking and we started visiting other churches. And

(04:41):
it was a Wednesday night, Chris, that my parents disappeared.
And when they came back, we knew something was different.
Couldn't put my finger on it, but they were he
were quiet because I remember daddy came in and he said,
have you done your homework? And I was like, yeah.
And he said, well, brush your teeth and go to bed.
He didn't ask to see my homework, which was very

(05:02):
unusual for him. Usually he would have been all right,
get it? Let me see it. Right. And so he's like, yeah,
go to bed. And that started happening Wednesday nights. They
were disappearing. Now what. We didn't know. My sisters and
I is that they had seen an ad in the
newspaper about Wednesday night prayer meeting at the Moody Church.

(05:23):
And so they had gone. And one Wednesday night down
in Sankey, Doctor Sweeting gave an invitation. He preached the sermon.
What does it profit a man to gain the whole
world and lose his soul? And one evening my parents
came to saving faith down there in Sankey. And so
they started bringing us then to to Moody Church. And

(05:48):
it wasn't. You got to remember the time, you know,
people of color could attend Moody Church, but you could
not become a member until about 1967, when the Constitution
was changed. And so everybody wasn't eager for us to
to be there. In fact, they would say some what

(06:09):
we would consider to be rude things like, don't they
have churches in your neighborhood? And, uh, we'd sit down,
they'd get up and and move, relocate. And but the
word was being preached and that was the draw from
my father. He was hearing the the word of God,

(06:29):
and it was speaking to his soul. And he wanted
us to have that. And they packed me up to
Moody's youth camp and sent me out there to, uh,
to Moody's youth camp. And I was a missionary. Spud
Willoughby was his name. And he took me down by
Loon Lake one day and he said, Larry, you're seeing

(06:49):
people seem to like you. You seem more or less civilized.
Let me ask you a couple of questions. You know,
it's like, you know, do you know Jesus? And he said,
if you died right now, you think you'd go to heaven.
And I said, well, I think so. I'm not as
bad as a whole lot of people I know. I
think I'll be okay. And he took his time and

(07:10):
he shared the gospel with me. And that's when I
was first introduced to the truth of the gospel, that
it wasn't a matter of works, that it was a
gift from God. But I never saw, you know, it's
incredible to me that I was to be even be
asked to speak at his memorial. He was just Pastor

(07:30):
Sweeting to us. You know, he he is a legend
now because of decades of just faithful service and just
consistent preaching of the Word of God. But he was just, um,
Pastor Sweeting for us, and that is has been such

(07:51):
a rich time for us. If you if I have
time for a couple of stories I'd like to share
with you, I told you, you know, we were there
during the 60s and Doctor King had been shot and killed.
And so the city of Chicago really went up in flames.
The mayor, Richard Daley, issued a shoot to kill order.
And what he did was he cordoned off the loop

(08:13):
and basically said, you know, we have to protect downtown,
anything west. Let just let it burn. And so they
weren't trying to save it. Riots were going on. Looting
was going on. Madison Avenue was just up in flames.
In fact, there's several blocks of the West Side of
Chicago that still haven't recovered to this day that that

(08:36):
went up in flames. And so, you know, Chicago is
under siege. There was a couple white couple, Al and
Lois Bonner. They called the house. And I remember when
my dad took the call and, you know, he's like, yeah,
um hum. Um, no. Well, that's kind, but no thank you.

(08:56):
And he got my mother said, who's that? He goes,
you know them people from church? Al and Lois. She said, yeah,
the Bonners. They lived in Elgin. Chris. They were seeing
what was going on, and so they called the house,
and they wanted to come and get our family and
take us out to their house in Elgin, because they
thought we might be in some danger living in Chicago. Now,

(09:20):
they didn't know us. We had no relationship with them
other than they had just started attending the church. But
that had a profound impact on my father that they
would take the time and call. He said, do they
even realize the danger they'd be putting themselves in and
trying to come through all this stuff and come gather
us up and take us out to to Elgin, you know?

(09:42):
And I was a rascal back then. I was like,
I don't know, I've never been to Elgin. Why can't
we go? Are we going? What's.

S1 (09:49):
But I want to hear more about nature, you know.
But the juxtaposition of that. Of not being able to
be a member with the hue of your skin, you know,
at the church and then having that change and then
seeing that outreach, especially in the 60s, such a violent time,
so much change that was going on in the culture

(10:10):
in the political world of Vietnam. I mean, you just
mix it all together and shake it up and you
see some of the the things that we can see
around us even today with the news from Los Angeles
and other things. So let me call a timeout right there.
We're going to get to your rascal nature. Larry's with
us today. Pastor Larry, if you go to the website
Chris Fabry live.org, you'll see more about Larry McCarthy Jr.

(10:33):
We're talking a little bit about his dad in here.
I want to get his dad. Are we going to
get Father's Day? Some of the lessons that Larry has
learned through the years. We'll open the phone lines to
maybe this will strike something with you at 775483675. Pastor

(10:57):
Larry McCarthy Jr is joining us today at the back fence.
He is pastor of Senior Adults and Compassion ministries at
the Moody Church in Chicago. And I saw him speak
at George Sweeting's memorial service. And I thought, this is
a fella I want to get to know more. And
just that story that he told about his parents and
the church and then getting called from, uh, people in Elgin. Um,

(11:22):
this is showing you why I wanted to have a conversation.
There's another story that you wanted to tell. Go ahead.

S2 (11:27):
Oh, yeah. You know, so you flash forward now. I mean,
the journey to me being on staff at the Moody Church,
that was. That was nothing I ever aspired to. I,
you know, I wanted to be a lawyer. I saw
myself in Congress one day. This was the path that
I was on. But here's what I want you to see.

(11:48):
So I'm like ten years old, ten, 11 years old.
And what we would do, Chris in the sanctuary with
the other kids there. We didn't have cell phones back then.
So our most sophisticated form of communication, we take the
offering envelopes and turn them inside out and write notes
and pass those notes back and forth among the aisles.

(12:10):
And so one particular Sunday, we're going at it at
a record pace. And so after the service, this little
gray haired old lady, she beelines right up to me
and I go, oh, boy, here we go. I, I
can anticipate what she's going. Don't you have any parents?
You know, why are you wasting church resources? And and

(12:32):
she she walked up to me. She looked me square
in the eye and she said, you know, anytime you
have an opportunity to hear God's word, you want to
listen because God will speak to you. And then she
said this to me. You never know. You could be
preaching here one day. Now, I never thought about that.

(12:57):
You know where that thought came back to me? It
was the first time I was preaching at the church.
I was upstairs on my knees, getting ready to go
downstairs and walk up to that pulpit. And I was
just thinking about how far God had brought me, and
I had not thought about that. I was just relieved
that she wasn't going to rat me out. You know,
so I, I, you know her.

S1 (13:19):
Do you know what her name was? Do you have
any idea?

S2 (13:21):
I never saw her again. And I wouldn't have been
looking for her either. Right? But never, never saw her again.
Never thought about her again until that morning. That I
was getting ready to preach my very first sermon at
the Moody Church, which would would be now a little
over ten years ago. And that thought came back to
me because I was sitting there just thanking God for

(13:43):
the path, for the journey and for enabling. And I thought, boy,
what a mighty long way you brought me, father. And
and she came back to mind. And that her telling
me that that you never know one day you could
be preaching here.

S1 (13:57):
You know what she did? And it reminds me of
the story that Michael Card tells when he did something dumb,
did something, you know, in church, or he was called
in front, and there was a fellow who came up
beside him and kind of put his arm around him
and said, you know, Michael, what you did was wrong.
I just want you to know I'm with you. I'm

(14:19):
going to walk through this together. And just that, the
fact to identify with him. That's what she was kind
of doing. And, you know, she was challenging. She was
calling you out? Yes. But she was also saying, I
see something more in you than you might see in yourself.

S2 (14:38):
That had to be from God. She was seeing something
that nobody else at that time was seeing, including me. So, uh,
but I think about that now, and certainly it offers that, um,
here's what I tell people. If the Lord can use
a rascal like me, be encouraged. Don't give up on

(14:58):
your children. They may not be walking with him now.
They might be prodigals. But don't give don't give up
on them because he can. And he does. He transforms lives.
He did it for me. And so I want them
to be encouraged when they hear that story or they
they see me. I wasn't always walking with the Lord. So.

S1 (15:20):
Okay, so tell me more about the rascal nature of Larry. Well,
how much of a rascal were you? And what did
God do on the inside? Because you saw your parents change?

S2 (15:30):
Yes.

S1 (15:31):
Uh, from just acknowledging God or going to church. And
we should say, too, that, uh, there's nothing against the
Episcopal episcopals who are listening are Presbyterians or Baptists or
whoever is listening. Right? You can be, uh, not walking
with God in any denomination. Um, and so it was
just that when they heard the the word at Moody Church,

(15:53):
there was something that happened to them. Um, so what
we might talk more about that, but tell me about
the rascal.

S2 (15:59):
And thank you for making that distinction. Yeah, because I
don't want that to be perceived that there's something wrong
with the Episcopal churches. Just. There was a hole in
his heart that he was searching for, and he said,
I want to know God, I want to I want
to know him. And and we went to and we
went to charismatic churches, went to Pentecostal churches. I that

(16:22):
was probably the most arduous time for me. I hated
that because, I mean, it's like the service never ended.
These things were they were they just went on and
on and on. It just never, never ended. And then
you'd have to tarry for the Holy Ghost. And they
want to take you in the back and lay hands
on you and stuff. And so, you know, when you

(16:42):
talk about being a rascal, I don't know if there's
levels of rascals. I think I probably have a Ph.D.
in rascal ism. So I was rebellious, I was arrogant,
you know, I was young, I was a lawyer. You
couldn't tell me anything. Hmm.

S1 (16:58):
Did you have to be right about everything?

S2 (17:00):
Well, generally I was. Chris. I think everybody, everybody else
was wrong. I mean, the world would have been a much.
That was probably one of the biggest fights my wife
and I got involved with. It was it. We just.
I had very unrealistic expectations when we got married. Right.
You know, my wife is from a wonderful community in Ohio. Mentor. Uh,

(17:23):
right outside of Cleveland. I'm from Chicago. We got married.
I'm like, okay, so we're going to spend the holidays
in Chicago, right? I mean, why would we go to Cleveland?
And so we we fought about this stuff, man. We
can laugh about it now, but. And I tried to
be slick, you know, it's like, okay, okay, fine. Tell
you what. Here's what we'll do. We'll spend Thanksgiving and

(17:47):
Christmas in Chicago. Groundhog day will go to Cleveland. So
I can be equitable here with this thing. Right? I
was just arrogant man. The Lord had to bring me
to himself and to his. To his. To my knees.
You know, we were talking about this just this past weekend.

(18:07):
It was a couples retreat that we attended. Trinity Baptist Church,
Indianapolis sponsored it. The speaker was a guy named Clifford
Ash out of Pennsylvania, and I got shamed into going
to the first one. Chris, this guy would come up
to me every Sunday. You go into the couples retreat,
going to. I was like, what is this couples retreat?
This guy must be getting a commission or something. He

(18:29):
keeps asking me about this retreat. We had registered so
late we couldn't even stay in the end with everybody else.
And so anyway, we got down there and how's everybody doing? Fine.
He said, you're lying. Most of you have been fussing
and fighting all the way down here. Well, he had
my attention and he said this to me and it

(18:51):
was transforming for me. He said, you need to make
up your mind right now that divorce is not an option.
Stop threatening it. Stop posturing. It's just not an option.
I ended up on my knees in that state park,
begging my wife to forgive me for my attitude and

(19:11):
some of the things that I had said. We never
missed a note of the retreat. I think we ended
up attending maybe 19 consecutive retreats. We ended up heading
up the couple's ministry there at Trinity Baptist Church, and
that led to being on a radio show, Biblical Realities.
And that was the beginning of how the Lord started

(19:33):
working on my heart and pulling us into full time ministry.
I mean, I was still working, but we our hearts,
I think for both of us, just got tenderized for
couples and I and I think for us, because then
we started being more vulnerable and more transparent and more honest.

(19:53):
And we as we met other couples, we found that
everybody was hurting on some level and that they had
things to work on. And we just found that to
be really, really liberating, that we didn't have to pretend
that we could say, hey, we're struggling in this regard
and is there somebody here who can help us? And

(20:15):
we found that, you know, God's word was full of instructions,
including how to deal with this issue of unrealistic, unbiblical
expectations regarding marriage. You know, my dad, when he got saved, man,
he got saved through and through. But if I'm going
to be honest with you, this afternoon, when I felt cheated,

(20:35):
when my dad first got saved because he had a
nice bar downstairs, he we entertained frequently. His buddies would
come over and they would sit there and they'd drink
beer and smoke cigarettes. And as a young guy, I'm
looking at that thinking, I'm looking forward to that time
when I'll have a Pall Mall with my dad and

(20:56):
we'll pop open some beers and sit there. And then
he got saved and he stopped doing all that. And
I thought, wait, I didn't get that. I don't get
to have any beers and stuff. What is this? You know,
so there was a part of me that was a
little resentful of, um, of his new walk. And he was,

(21:17):
you know, he was eager for us to know more
about the word. But, you know, Daddy Young in his faith,
he didn't really, um, have a lot of instruction on
how to do family devotions. And so they kind of
turn into these Marathon sessions where he'd want to go
from Genesis to Revelation after dinner. You know, I'd many

(21:39):
a time I went to sleep on him, you know,
he would be talking about. Yeah. Remove the speck in
the eye. I wasn't trying to be disrespectful. It was just.
He was just full. Right. And he just. He wanted
so desperately for us to appropriate that truth that he
had come to know. And he just he was trying
to give it to us. And with. With both barrels.

S1 (22:01):
So I find that dads will have a hard time,
you know, especially be the spiritual leaders because their wives
want them to be the spiritual leaders in the home.
And they don't they're not as good at that. And
if that's the case, then they'll shrink back from that
and and won't lean into it. And like your dad. Uh,

(22:22):
both barrels, you know. But he didn't he probably didn't
have a pattern himself. And there was nobody that was
teaching him that.

S2 (22:30):
That's exactly right. But he, the Lord, worked on his heart.
He had he just had a servant's heart. He was
called home about four years ago. And, um, there isn't
a day that goes by that I don't miss him.
And I can say this honestly, Chris, I think every
single day I appropriate something that he taught me. You know,

(22:53):
my my dad showed me how to tie a tie.
And when I went away to school, the college, he, uh,
he bought me, I think, six pairs of black socks.
And he said, now you always wear black socks, Larry.
That way if you lose one, you won't have any
trouble matching them up. You don't have to. And I think.

S1 (23:13):
What kind of man?

S2 (23:14):
Right there. Right. Yeah, I think about that every time
I get dressed, like, you know, I don't have to
match up anything. You just wear black socks. But what
I really saw the Lord work in his life was
his servant's heart. He just. He loved to be among
God's people, particularly men. He liked to encourage them to

(23:35):
be authentic. He didn't have a lot of tolerance for, um,
for foolishness or fake things, but he he loved to serve.
And I am certainly the more time that I've spent
in the word. That is probably the the attitude of
Christ that we see from Philippians to have that attitude

(23:56):
of service, Scripture calls it. And he certainly, uh, had that.
It wasn't feigned. He he just liked to serve.

S1 (24:05):
Larry, your voice and, uh, the life experience you have,
especially when you mentioned the the wound of your marriage
and your expectations and then your humility and the way
that God brought you to your knees. What I have found,
as it happens over and over and over again. Here
it is again. The wound in your life is the
place of healing for you. And then it becomes a

(24:29):
place of healing for others as well. Yes. Right.

S2 (24:32):
Absolutely. Humility is hard to appropriate, Chris, you know this.
I mean, as soon as you try to say you
have it, you lose. I'm humble. I'm. I'm the most
humble person in the studio today. I mean, as soon
as you try to grasp it. But I tell you
what I found. Humility is the platter where blessings get served, man. And.

(24:53):
And once you put yourself where I'm not better than
anybody else. And I'm willing to do whatever it takes
in order for me to demonstrate that I love you,
that I care about you, and to reflect the grace
that God has literally poured out in my life. Uh,
that that is it's rare and it's attractive to people

(25:14):
as well.

S1 (25:15):
Well, and they're hearing that come through today. I hope
there's somebody listening who, um, is is really resonating with
what Larry McCarthy is. Larry McCarthy, Jr. Hearing his dad
come through his life as well. He is pastor of
Senior Adults and Compassion ministries at the Moody Church in Chicago.
And we're just having a conversation about some of the wisdom,

(25:37):
the lessons learned. I got some deep questions to ask Larry.
You're hearing some laughter, too, aren't you? Uh, so we'll
talk more with Larry, and we'll also take some of
your calls. [phone]. More wisdom from Larry is coming up.

(26:06):
Clarinet is a pro abundant life ministry that saves the
lives of unborn babies and wants to help everyone making
decisions about the unborn thrive. And Carenet believes dads matter.
They matter a lot. Being a dad is more than
just showing up. It's about shaping lives like you're hearing
Larry say. And if you're a dad, go to the

(26:29):
website Chris Fabriclive. Org click the green net link and
you can download a free seven day devotional that I
think will really encourage you. It's titled seven marks of
a Healthy Dad, and it's designed to help fathers live
with purpose, with faith, and with confidence in whatever season
of life they're in. Get some encouragement for your father

(26:51):
journey at Chris Fabriclive org. Again, go there and click
the Green Connect link. Chris Fabriclive. If you click through
today's information, you'll find out more about Pastor Larry McCarthy Jr,
pastor of Senior Adults and Compassion Ministries at the Moody Church.
I saw him a few months ago in September, where

(27:12):
he spoke at Doctor George Sweeting's memorial service. And I thought,
we need to get this guy on the program, and
that's what we're doing today. So you agree with me
that the wound is a place of healing for people.
But you have to be willing to be vulnerable in
order for that wound to to help other people. Right?

S2 (27:35):
Yes and yes to both of them, the way you
phrased the question. But I tell you what it does
or I won't generalize. I tell you what it's done
for me. It has tenderized my heart for people in
similar situations, because I can say it's beyond just simply
I understand it. I know what you're facing, the challenge

(27:55):
that that you're facing. And so when the Lord has
brought you out of something and given you victory, when
he's unloosed your shackles, then it's it's it's makes you
now uniquely qualified to be able to come and minister
to people in a way that is unique, you know,

(28:17):
and that that has been, I think, um, what I've
Have experienced, certainly in my walk. I mean, Chris, to
be honest, on my best day. Nobody's calling me because
they've had a good day. Yeah. If my phone rings,
something bad has happened. Somebody died. They've lost a job.
Something's happened. I can't fix that now. We have resources

(28:41):
at the church. But on my best day, all I
can really hope to do is to give them a
biblical perspective on what is going on with them. And
that has to stay rooted in this, no matter what
it is that you're facing. God has the answer. He
still loves you. He's still in control. And that is
the if I don't have anything else that I can offer.

(29:04):
You know, when I first got the chair at Moody
and was brought on staff, every single time that phone
would ring before I'd pick it up, I'd have the
same prayer. Lord, you already know what this is about.
This is nothing new for you. Before I was born,
you knew this was going to happen. You've allowed it.
You've permitted it. So help me to encourage this person

(29:27):
or where they are right now with that truth. And
he he never fails in in in that regard. He
is consistent in that regard.

S1 (29:37):
So the battle then, for you and for any for
all of us is just show up, just be there,
be available. Take the time like you said Spud did
with you. Yes. Take the time. Listen well. Be attentive.
You can't fix it. So it's not up to you
to fix it. You just be there with them.

S2 (29:55):
Well, I think a pastor is your shepherd. 90% of
your job is being accessible. That's what a shepherd does.
He's standing in the field. He's watching. He's accessible. Yes.
And so you got to watch. You got to look.
You have to discern. But I'm not God and I.
And I don't want to suggest that there are people

(30:16):
who are trying to be God. Like I said, I
think on my best day, all I can hope to
do is provide perspective. People feel marginalized and they feel hurt,
and particularly when there's a loss of life, you know,
they pray, please save my loved one, heal my loved one.
And these people die and they think, well, where is God?

(30:39):
Grief has this extraordinary impact on you. It assaults every
part of your humanity. It certainly affects you mentally and physically.
People can't eat or sleep or or rest. It affects
you emotionally. It affects you spiritually. Where is God? I've

(31:00):
been faithful all this time. I've done the things you
want to do. We prayed, we fasted, and then my
loved one is still gone. So now they're questioning and doubting,
doubting God. And so when that call comes to my desk,
is to assure them God is still very, very much
in control.

S1 (31:19):
Well, you got us back to expectations again, because in
the marriage situation, here's what I expect for marriage is
going to be. And it doesn't turn out to be
that it's the same thing with God. You know, if
I do this, then God's going to do that. And
when he doesn't do his part that he didn't sign
up for in the first place. But we thought that's
what it was going to be.

S2 (31:37):
That's what my plan. I was supposed to have 3.2
kids and a picket fence and a dog. And this
this was the plan of my life that I laid out, right?
So I don't know, how do you how do you
get 3.2 kids?

S1 (31:50):
I don't know. You have you only have 3.2 somewhere else.
Mary is in Wisconsin. Wants to talk with you. Hi, Mary.
Go right ahead.

S3 (31:58):
Hi, Chris. Hi, Larry. Thanks for taking my call. I
want to say that I appreciate so much you talking
about how you had to humble yourself, but I have
a little bit of a different perspective. Um, I think
a lot of times There's a lot of men that
are passive because the woman won't let them lead. And

(32:22):
I treated my husband like that for 25 years. He
would say, okay, whatever you want, and I would do
whatever I wanted. And it was very unhealthy. And slowly
but surely I learned, oh, I need to be quiet.
I need to, um, I need to pray to the Lord.

(32:43):
I need to share with sisters, and I need to
share with, um, what am I doing with my husband?
And I need to not humiliating. It just makes me
so sad to see this men bashing. Even in the church.
Women bash men and it's really sad. Well, thank you
very much. But I still say. And I say it

(33:05):
because that's what gets me. My pride gets me. And
then I start getting really huffy and puffy, and then
someone has to knock me in my place again because
I'm not doing what I need to do. And that's
where we need to be.

S1 (33:20):
There it is again. She's been there. That's where she's.
Where she's coming from. And what do you say, Larry?

S2 (33:24):
I like the counsel she provides. You know, Ephesians 533
gives us the two basic needs between husband and wife.
And it's really it creates its own dynamic energy. And
that is, the husbands are commanded to love their wives.
Wives are commanded to respect their husbands. Now, when we
don't have that, when he doesn't feel respected, he's not

(33:47):
going to love you. And because he's not loving you,
you're not going to respect him. And it creates its
own dynamic energy. The trickier thing is, so how do
you break the cycle? Nobody wants to be the first
one to retreat, so to speak. I'm not. You're calling
me this and you're not respecting me. And so I'm
not going to be kind and loving to you, I think.

(34:09):
And I appreciate her heart that just comes back to
and I'm telling you what I've learned. It's a command.
Nowhere in that passage does it say, husbands, love your wife.
Create environments where it's safe to share your. Your leadership
has to be leading by example, characterized by service and

(34:32):
by sacrifice. Only if she is cooking meatloaf every Thursday.
Nowhere in there does it say that. It says you're
commanded to love her. And it also says, ladies wives,
you're commanded to respect the authority that God has given
him and the mantle of husband ship. And but that

(34:55):
then creates its own energy, the negative energy cycle that
gets created when they're not there. That's the hardest thing
to break, because nobody wants to be the first one
to surrender, so to speak, or throw up the towel. Why?
Why am I being so nice? He's not being nice
to me. She's not doing anything for me. So why
am I going? Where is this voice coming from? Why

(35:17):
am I going to.

S1 (35:18):
It's pretty good. I like that, right?

S2 (35:19):
Yeah. So. So I think she raises a really good question,
but if you want to distill it down to its essence,
here's what the Lord has taught me. And I, we're different.
We are different. Men and women are different. She needs
to feel loved. I need from her to feel respected.
This this is the essence of our relationship. This is

(35:43):
how God has made us. She doesn't meant we're just different.
You know, man, we you ever go out to dinner
with a couple or a group? One lady goes to
the bathroom. They all go.

S4 (35:57):
Yeah, right.

S2 (35:59):
Men don't do that. We don't go. I mean, Chris,
if we go out, you say, Chris, I'm going bathroom.
Want to come with me? You know, we just don't
do that. And we don't. We're not in there talking
about stuff when ladies go to the bathroom. By the
time they come out, they know where they got their
hair done, where they bought their outfit. How many grandchildren there?
Trust me, we're not in the bathroom talking about nothing.

(36:20):
Somebody wants to strike up a conversation with you in
the bathroom. We run out of there. You're out of there, right?
So we're just different. That difference is what's needed. I
need respect from Lometa. She needs love from me. And
praise God I got to do this. Shout out. I'm
getting it in abundance. She respects my authority in the house.

(36:42):
She respects the mantle that God has given me. Should
she defer? She is my best counsel. I'm I am blessed.
That's who you should have on your show.

S1 (36:53):
Well, you.

S2 (36:54):
Should. You should have to come in here and tell you.

S1 (36:56):
Good idea. And so here's my question to you. And
then we'll take a break. How often then do you
go to mentor Ohio now?

S2 (37:06):
Well, frequently. In fact, we're going to be going for
her dad Luther Goodin God bless him. His 97th I
think birthday. Really. Yeah. Oh and the other guys put
me to shame. And he still puts out a garden.
And does he. Yes.

S1 (37:21):
He's there's another one I need to have on the program. Luther.

S5 (37:24):
Yeah. You should talk to him.

S1 (37:26):
Happy birthday. Luther. All right. So Larry McCarthy is with
us today. I have more questions. Are we going to
be rapid fire when we get back here? So don't
you dare miss the final segment with Larry McCarthy at
Chris Fabriclive. Org. You can find out more about him
Chris Fabry live. Tomorrow at the back fence and other

(37:57):
pasture for you. Doctor Mike Glenn is going to be here.
He's talking about teaching truth in a post-truth world. How
do you do that as a pastor or as a
leader in the church? Hear from him tomorrow. He's one
of my favorite people. Mike Glenn tomorrow. Today, Larry McCarthy
from Moody Church, husband of Lametta. And Linda has a question. Hi, Linda.

(38:18):
Go right ahead.

S6 (38:21):
My question is, how important do you feel it is
to teach children God's Word in a way that will
equip them to apply the scriptures to their everyday life situations?

S5 (38:34):
Mm.

S1 (38:35):
Great question.

S5 (38:36):
Larry.

S2 (38:37):
It's it's critical. We're commanded to train up children. Um,
but it isn't it can't be just, um, preaching and, uh, scolding,
so to speak. They, you know, how you how you
train up a child, how you teach them is what
they see you do. Do they see you making it

(38:58):
important to go to church on Sunday or Bible study?
Or do you do that only when it's convenient End
or holidays, are they able to say as a part
of their testimony, I remember that my dad or my
granddad got up early in the morning and he would
be down there with his Bible open or on his

(39:19):
his knees, and he was praying when the vicissitudes would
and the disruptive moments would come. Was he just reacting,
or did you see how he would respond from the
enablement of the of the spirit? So the training, certainly.
You want to, um, bury the Word of God deep

(39:41):
into their hearts, but you also want to see them
living it. This is this is the precept that we
glean from Thessalonians. It's it's the word heard and the
word shared, but more importantly, the word lived. And that
means more to children. I think as they get older
that they witness that that your yes is yes and

(40:03):
your no is no. And, you know, if dad says
he's going to do something, he's going to do it.
I could set my clock by it. When they see
you living out the word, that's how you are as
much training them as you are with memorization of Bible
verses yet. So how important is it? It's everything, but

(40:23):
they have to see that lived out as well.

S1 (40:27):
I think kids also need to see you like you.
You were humble with your wife. You need to apologize
to your kids when you're wrong. Um, did you ever
have to do that? Or can you think of a
time when you had to get down and look them
in the eye and say, I'm sorry?

S2 (40:43):
Yeah, all the time. All the time. I mean, certainly
as they've gotten older and, you know, here's where I'm blessed, Chris.
And I'll just I'll just say it. I have a
good relationship with my adult children, and they now will
ask my opinion about something. And for me, that is
the greatest compliment. And it's the greatest gift that God

(41:05):
could ever give me to that they were that they
want to know what I think about things and and
will ask me to to pray with them about things.
You know, I want to hurry and tell you a
story that, you know, my dad had a grocery store and, um,
and after school, my responsibility was to come and fill

(41:27):
the pop machine and take the trash out. Well, one
afternoon he was going to show me how to cut meat,
how to cut pork chops, and I wasn't interested in that.
I wanted to get the pop machine filled and get
out there and play. And so I rolled my eyes
and he said, okay, you do your stuff. Yeah. He said,
go on and go, okay, flash forward. I'm at college
starving to death. I'm hungry. I got I got to

(41:50):
get a job. And so somebody said, well, they're hiring
out on the highway, IGA foodliner. And so I went,
so me and some other guys went out there. And
since we were from the school, they were hiring people
to put up stock overnight. But the guy said, hey, listen,
if anybody here knows how to cut meat, you can
make for now. My dad tried to show me how
to do that, but I was so and so that

(42:11):
night when I got back home, I was so convicted
by it, I called him. It was like midnight called collect. And,
you know, he answered, yeah, he'd sleep. I said, daddy,
you know, years ago you tried to teach me something
about meat and I didn't learn it. And I kid
you not. So my dad hands me the phone to
my mother and he goes, Joe, it's Larry. I think

(42:32):
he's drunk and he has. And she's like, what's wrong?
And I said, well, daddy tried to show me something.
And so anyway, so they sent me some money and but.

S1 (42:42):
You repented.

S2 (42:44):
My yeah, my, my my point. I had to go
back and apologize to him. And certainly with my children, I,
I blow it all the time and certainly did when
they were coming up. And um, and I don't.

S1 (43:00):
Just tell him to read the Bible. Let them see
you do it right. Don't just tell them. Put that
phone down. Don't you? You know, adults have this big
trouble with the phone and the internet and all that
kind of stuff as the kids do.

S2 (43:11):
Yeah, well, that's a whole nother conversation. I grew up
at a time when there was one phone in the house. Chris.
And it was attached to the wall. And you couldn't
be on that thing for more than five minutes, you know?
And man, how many dads told me, why are you
calling this house after 9:00? You know you didn't. So,

(43:34):
I mean, this wonderful technology that we have. Praise God,
like radio. We can consecrate the technology to let the
truth of the gospel go out. But these phones without
control on it, they are just interfering with our quality
of life and giving access where that where it's not needed.
And we have to kind of take control. It's a

(43:56):
whole nother discussion.

S1 (43:58):
Well, they're making us connected all the time, but not
really connected. You know, it's it's it's not reality. And
we need that. And you work with older people. I
mentioned to you before we went on the program today
that we had a program yesterday about evangelism and being
a instead of being focused on the harvest, just planting seeds.

(44:19):
And one of the things I wanted to say in
this program is I think older people are just as
hungry as the next generation coming up. They are hungry
for connection, you know, with people, but they're also hungry
for the truth of God's Word.

S2 (44:32):
Amen and amen. The geriatric imperative for the United States
is simple. There are more people over the age of
65 now in the United States than there ever have
been in the history of this country. People are living longer,
and so the levels of interaction now have to accommodate that.
My heart is tender for intergenerational, um, ministry. And so

(44:58):
one of the things that we're doing, we have senior
breakfast at the church where we have younger high school
kids that are serving during that senior breakfast. And so
we get this forum where these generations can now interact
in a way where they can share, uh, informally. And
I'm telling you, we're being blessed by it.

S1 (45:18):
Well, it's what we've done today here. You know, you
and I are just about the same age a little.
You're a little further down the trail. Um, but that's
what we're doing.

S2 (45:26):
I won't admit to that, but.

S1 (45:28):
Okay. Informally. Now she's, like, 20 or 30 years behind us.

S2 (45:33):
Of course.

S1 (45:34):
Right.

S2 (45:34):
Yeah.

S1 (45:35):
Yeah. Is there a verse that hangs over the the
door of your heart constantly.

S2 (45:40):
You know, I'm Psalm 51. Brother. Have mercy upon me,
O God. Have mercy upon me according to the multitude
of your loving kindness. It's against you, and you only
have I sinned. But then verse ten, create in me
a clean heart, oh God, and restore a steadfast spirit
within me. That has been my prayer and my cry.

(46:02):
For so many instances, and I appreciate God's faithfulness in
that regard.

S1 (46:08):
Words of life. Words of life and healing and the.
So there's somebody who was wounded coming into today's program,
and you've heard that real life that's there. I I'm
glad grateful to you, Larry, for sharing your heart, your
life with us. God bless you, friend. Thanks for doing that.

S2 (46:25):
Appreciate you. Thank you for having me.

S7 (46:27):
Go to the website Chris.

S1 (46:29):
Org. You'll see more about our special guest at the
back fence, Pastor Larry McCarthy Jr. Sharon from his heart.
Another pastor Mike Glenn's coming along tomorrow. Hope you will too.
Chris Fabry Live is a production of Moody Radio, a
ministry of Moody Bible Institute online. Chris Fabry lives.