We would love to hear from you. Send us a text message now by clicking HERE!
Every leader encounters people who can derail their God-given mission. In this revealing episode, we explore six challenging personalities that drain your energy and distract you from your purpose—and provide biblical strategies to manage these relationships effectively.
We shine our business spotlight on Sunshine Nut Company, where former Hershey executive Don Larson practices "reverse tithing"—keeping just 10% of profits while giving 90% to transform communities in Mozambique. This inspiring model shows how business can be a powerful vehicle for Kingdom impact, affecting over 100,000 people through nutrition, healthcare, education, and economic opportunity.
The heart of our discussion focuses on recognizing and managing difficult personalities in your organization. We examine chronic complainers who focus only on problems without solutions, time wasters who drain your schedule with non-urgent matters, and energy vampires who leave you emotionally depleted after every interaction. We also address manipulators with hidden agendas, chronic critics who create division, and boasters seeking constant validation through self-promotion.
For each personality type, we provide practical, scripture-based strategies to maintain healthy boundaries while responding with grace. You'll learn how to redirect complainers toward solutions, establish clear expectations with time wasters, guard your heart from energy vampires, seek discernment when dealing with manipulators, evaluate criticism constructively, and model humility for boasters.
The episode concludes with an actionable framework: developing a personal strategy, strengthening your spiritual foundation, building a support network, training your team, and regularly evaluating your energy balance. These practical steps will help you protect your mission while leading with greater effectiveness.
Join our growing community by sharing this episode with others who might benefit from these crucial leadership insights. Remember, Jesus is Lord, and He wants you blessed!
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to the Christian Business Concepts with
your host, harold Milby.
Christian Business Concepts isdedicated to guiding companies
and business owners in becomingeffective, efficient and
successful through God's Wordand godly principles.
Now, here's your host, haroldMilby.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
Thanks again, kelly, and welcome everyone to this
week's Christian BusinessConcepts podcast.
You know our mission here atCBC is to help you find true
godly success by applyingbiblical principles, and I hope
and I pray that you'll beencouraged and enlightened and
empowered by today's podcast andhope that you'll help us to
(00:41):
grow the CBC family by sharingtoday's podcast with four or
five other people and even maybeposting this episode on one of
your LinkedIn pages or yourFacebook pages.
You know we just thank you forhelping us to grow the family
and being a part of thiscommunity.
You know, today I want to givea big shout out to the country
(01:03):
of Zambia.
You know, today I want to givea big shout out to the country
of Zambia.
You know we appreciate youthose of you there in Zambia for
becoming a part of theChristian Business Concepts
community.
We appreciate allowing us tohave you a part of it and we're
(01:36):
very humbled by the number ofyou that participate every week.
Now in today's spotlightbusiness spotlight, I want to
talk about a company calledSunshine Nut Company.
You know, in his mid-40s, donLarson left his executive
position at Hershey, which was avery lucrative business.
(01:59):
It was a very lucrativeposition that he had with
Hershey position that he hadwith Hershey and he helped
Hershey to source a lot ofsupply that they needed.
And so it took him all aroundthe world and work took him to
Africa and he was there tosource some cocoa and he was
(02:22):
absolutely appalled absolutelyappalled at the conditions in
Mozambique and so he startedthis company in 2011.
And for the primary reason ofhelping the people, helping the
farmers and really helping wholecommunities.
You know, he really practicesreverse tithing.
(02:48):
What is that?
Well, that's where he keeps 10%of the profits and he gives
away 90% and that money goes tohelp transform schools, bring
about greater nutrition, healthcare, housing.
He's also involved inorphanages and a lot of those
(03:10):
children.
After they get through theorphanage or even if they're
adopted, he hires those peopleand they become good, mature
adults that are giving back intotheir community.
So he's really making adifference in Mozambique and
they've become now one of thelargest companies in the world
(03:34):
that supplies fresh nuts, andthey do some things very unusual
they freeze, dry these nuts assoon as they're picked.
Nobody else does that, and sohe has come up with this idea
and he did that when he was overthere trying to source cocoa,
(04:00):
and he happened to notice therewas a lot of nut farms there in
Mozambique, and so, because ofthe conditions that he saw, he
went back home, home, and he wascompletely convicted in his
heart and so he gave up thelucrative position, he sold
everything he had and he movedover there to start the Sunshine
Nut Company, and so they'reinfluencing really thousands of
people on a regular basis asmuch as 100,000 people on a
(04:23):
regular basis, and they'retrying to help other businesses
in the country to repeat hismodel, to do some of the same
things that they're doing.
So the next time you pick up abag of sunshine nuts, think
about the lives that are beingimpacted for the gospel, and we
just appreciate your sunshine,we appreciate the work that
(04:44):
you're doing.
Keep it up, and we thank Godfor you.
Now, as Christian businessleaders and in the professional
world, you're going to encountera lot of different people.
Some of these people are goingto work for you, some of them
are not.
Some are going to be.
You're going to meet themintentionally, some are going to
be unintentionally, and somepeople that you're going to run
(05:06):
into can hinder you.
They can hinder youreffectiveness, they can drain
your energy.
They can really take your eyeoff of the God-given purpose
that God's given you, and youneed to recognize these
individuals, and recognizingthese individuals and managing
relationships with them isreally critical to maintaining
(05:30):
your spiritual and emotional andprofessional health.
So today I want to outline somekey types of individuals to be
aware of and why this awarenessis important, and then I want to
give you some biblical,grounded strategies that will
help you deal with each one ofthese different type of people.
(05:53):
And so why should we even betalking about this?
Why is this important?
Well, number one, it'sbasically trying to help you be
a good steward of your time andyour energy.
You know your time and yourenergy.
You know your time and yourenergy are finite resources.
You know you don't have it.
You know you have so much timein a day, you've got so much
energy, and allowing otherpeople to drain you of these
(06:18):
resources can really stop andhinder you from fulfilling the
calling that God's put on yourlife.
And you know, I would encourageyou to read Ephesians, chapter
five, because it talks aboutthis.
And the second thing is it'sreally important for your
emotional and spiritual health,because negative or toxic
(06:42):
relationships can lead toburnout, to frustration or
spiritual discouragement, andthat's going to hinder your
ability to lead, and not just tolead people, but to lead people
with joy.
So that's important.
Third, organizationaleffectiveness.
You know, as a leader, yourwell-being directly impacts your
(07:06):
team directly.
It directly impacts your team.
As a leader, so you want toprotect yourself from anything
that's, you know, any kind ofinfluence that drains you.
You want to be able to makesure that you can lead with
strength and vision, likeNehemiah did, and I would
(07:27):
encourage you to just readNehemiah 6, verses 1 through 9.
And then number four having aChrist-like discernment.
You know Jesus modeleddiscernment in his interactions
and he balanced compassion withboundaries.
And as leaders, you're calledto love others while maintaining
(07:48):
a focus on God's priorities.
So it's really important thatwe identify these individuals,
we're aware of them and then wegive you some biblical
principles on how to deal withthese individuals.
So the first one is the chroniccomplainer.
(08:11):
The chronic complainer, youknow these are people that just
constantly focus on problems.
They don't come to you with anysolutions, they just bring
problems to you and, let's behonest, we can always find
people to help you identify whatthe problems are.
The issue is trying to findpeople that can bring you
(08:31):
solutions.
But the chronic complainerdoesn't do that.
They just come and theycomplain.
They complain aboutcircumstances, they complain
about some of their co-workers,they complain about leadership's
decisions.
You know they rarely expressgratitude or optimism and
they're going to seek you outand they'll do it repeatedly
(08:53):
because they want to vent andthey want you to allow them to
vent without you taking any kindof action.
So why is this a problem?
Well, chronic complainers kindof zap you of your emotional
energy and it kind of creates anegative atmosphere.
Their focus on problems is whatcauses this distraction,
(09:18):
because instead of you beingable to focus on strategic
priorities, you're having tofocus on a lot of negativity.
And if it goes unchecked, theirattitude may influence other
people in your organization.
So how do you deal with them?
Well, first of all, you've gotto politely but firmly and I
(09:43):
mean that politely but firmlyyou've got to limit the time
that you spend listening tothose complaints.
You know, for example, youcould say something like you
know, I hear your concern, let'stake five minutes to discuss a
possible solution.
So what you're doing is you'regetting their focus away from
complaining and saying, okay,let's come up with a solution.
(10:03):
If you do that long enough,those people will begin to
change the way they come to youand a lot of times they won't
come to you until they have asolution, which is what you're
looking for.
So you want to redirect themand then, after you set those
boundaries, you redirect withthose solutions.
You help them, encourage themto propose some kind of solution
(10:26):
, something that's actionable,you know.
Ask them, hey, what steps doyou think we can take to address
this issue?
And that shifts theconversation from venting to
problem solving.
You also want to modelpositivity, you know.
You want to reflect Philippians4 and 8 by focusing on what's
true and noble and praiseworthyin your interactions, and your
(10:51):
example can influence theirperspective completely.
And then you need to pray fordiscernment, pray for patience,
ask God for wisdom to discernwhen to engage and when to
redirect, pray for that person'sheart, help them to find peace,
pray for them to find peace andgratitude and then again limit
(11:13):
your access If that behaviorcontinues.
You have to reduce your accessthat they have to you and you
delegate this communication tosomebody that you trust on your
team, or you can schedulespecific times for these kinds
of discussions.
You know Zig Ziglar I grew upwith.
(11:36):
I read a lot of his books fromthe time I was 17 years old.
He had a great influence on mylife, but he said one time he
said be grateful for what youhave and stop complaining.
It bores everybody else, doesyou no good and doesn't solve
any problems.
And that's it in a nutshell,all right.
The second person that you gotto be aware of is the time
(11:56):
waster.
Now, this is a person thatfrequently interrupts with very
non-urgent issues and matters.
They engage in very lengthy,unfocused conversations or
meetings.
They request a lot of time,very excessive amount of time
(12:18):
for certain things or tasks thatcould be handled a lot more
efficiently, and they may lackself-awareness about the value
of your time.
As a leader, you have to be onthe hunt to protect your time,
(12:38):
and they may not be aware ofthat.
So why is this a problem?
Well, time wasters are going toderail your schedule.
They'll prevent you fromfocusing on really high priority
tasks.
As a leader, your time is socritical.
It's such a critical resourcefor advancing your
organization's mission or yourdepartment's mission, and so
(13:01):
allowing these interactions topersist can lead to frustration
and reduce productivity.
You know, even Charles Darwinsaid one time a man who dares to
waste one hour of time has notdiscovered the value of life,
and I think that's apropos forwhat we're talking about.
So how do you deal with thesepeople?
Well, first thing that you'vegot to do is you've got to
(13:24):
establish some very clearexpectations.
So you need to set somespecific times for meetings,
communicate your availability.
You know, for example, hey, I'mavailable for a 15-minute
discussion at two o'clock.
You know.
So you've already told them upfront.
You got 15 minutes and you keepthat.
(13:46):
You stay that and keep yourconviction on that.
And then use some timemanagement tools.
You know.
Implement tools like agendas,you know, time-sensitive
meetings, task managementsoftware to keep things real
focused.
And then, when it's appropriate, you need to delegate so you
(14:08):
can assign some non-criticaltasks or discussions to other
team members to free up yourtime.
So I think that's important.
And then be direct.
Be direct with grace.
You know, if somebodyconsistently oversteps, what you
want to do is just be real kind, but you can address it and you
(14:30):
can say something like you knowhey, look, I value our
conversations, but I need tofocus on X.
Whatever that priority is,let's schedule a time to connect
that lets them know that whatthey have to say is important
and that you see it as important, but you have something that's
a lot more priority right nowthat you need to focus on.
(14:50):
And then, lastly, seek God'sguidance.
You know, pray for wisdom.
You know you've got to be ableto balance accessibility with
discipline, and Jesus gives usthat example.
He retreated, he got away attimes.
He focused on himself,sometimes when he would get away
.
So you can see that in Luke,chapter 5, verse 16.
(15:12):
So you really have to take alook at that.
And then number three is what Icall the energy vampire.
I call him the energy vampire,and these people will leave you
feeling emotionally drained.
After every time you have aninteraction with them, after
every meeting, you almost feellike they've just stuck a straw
(15:35):
in you and they're just drainingyou dry.
Some of these people may beneedy, they may be overly needy,
and they just seem to demandconstant attention, constant
validation.
You know they seem to focusmore on their own problems or
their own insecurities.
(15:55):
They can also be verymanipulative.
They use guilt sometimes ordrama to keep you engaged.
And so why is this a problem?
Well, energy vampires consumeyour emotional and spiritual
reserves right, so it leaves youless equipped to be able to
(16:18):
lead effectively.
And if you're exposed to peoplelike that in a prolonged time
period, it can really lead toburnout or resentment and that
kind of hurts your ability to bea good leader and to be
(16:38):
effective.
So how do you deal with them?
How do you deal with them?
Well, first you've got to guardyour heart.
That's the first thing.
You need to follow Proverbs 4and 23 by protecting your
emotional energy and limit thefrequency, limit the depth of
the interactions that you havewith these types of people.
And then you've got to set somevery firm boundaries.
(17:00):
You know you've got to be ableto decline.
You can be very polite about it, but you've got to decline
excessive demands.
For example, you can saysomething like look, but you've
got to decline excessive demands.
For example, you can saysomething like look, I care
about your situation, but Ican't address this right now.
Can we reconnect later?
So let them know that this is apersonal thing and this is a
(17:20):
business endeavor, and those twodon't always mix.
It's not that you don't careabout your team, your employees,
but the people who zap you ofyour energy are some of the most
dangerous people you can have.
If you're a business leader, sodo that, and then offer very
limited support, because themore support you give them, the
(17:41):
more support they're going towant.
So provide them some resources,maybe help them find a good
counselor or a mentor or anotherteam member to help them to
address their needs withoutrelying solely on you.
That's the danger.
And then pray for their healing, intercede for their emotional
(18:02):
and spiritual growth.
You know, ask God to bring somewholeness to their life.
Ask God to bring some wholenessto their life.
I think that's extremelyimportant when you're dealing
with these kinds of people.
The next person that you have tobe aware of is what I call the
manipulator.
(18:22):
The manipulator, and these arethe people.
They'll use flattery, they'lluse guilt, they'll use pressure
to influence your decisions, anda lot of them will have hidden
agendas.
They're looking for personalgain at your expense.
They'll often disregard yourboundaries or your priorities.
But you know, yet these peoplecan seem very charming, very
(18:48):
supportive, but they really actin their own self-interest.
Now why is this a problem?
Well, manipulators canundermine your leadership and
they can exploit your trust.
They can divert resources fortheir own benefit.
Their actions really kind oferode team morale and trust, and
(19:10):
as a Christian leader, you'vegot to discern their motives so
you can protect the mission thatyou know that God's given you.
So how do you deal with thesepeople?
Well, first you've got to seeksome discernment.
So you've got to pray for theHoly Spirit to guide you to be
able to recognize manipulativebehavior.
You know, john 16, 13 says thatwhen the spirit of truth would
(19:34):
come, he would lead us and guideus into all truth.
And so that's what we're askingGod for is to give you that
understanding, to let him leadyou into all truth, so that you
can get that guidance torecognize this kind of behavior.
And then you need to be verytransparent, document decisions
and interactions to ensure thatthis person is accountable.
(19:59):
You want to avoid any kind ofprivate commitments that could
be misconstrued.
You really have to be carefulhere.
But you have to assertboundaries.
You've got to really clearlystate your priorities, state
your decisions.
For example, you know you couldsay something look, I
(20:19):
prayerfully considered this andmy decision is X.
Don't say things like well, I'mkind of thinking no, you've got
to be very clear, very decisive, so that they understand that
there is no wiggle room, andthen you confront them.
You confront, do it with love,do it with truth.
If necessary.
(20:39):
You've got to address thisbehavior directly, and you can
use Matthew, chapter 18, verses15 through 17, as a guide.
But you need to speaktruthfully while you're showing
grace that's so critical, sovery important and then surround
yourself.
Surround yourself with godlycounsel, get advice from mentors
(21:02):
or advisors that are in yourlife and help them to validate
your perspective and to notallow you to be swayed by this
type of person.
And so those are some of thethings that you can do to deal
with them.
So what's the next person?
Well, the next person is what Icall the chronic critic.
(21:24):
So these are people that areconstantly pointing out flaws or
mistakes.
They don't offer any kind ofconstructive feedback, they just
criticize.
They may criticize yourleadership style, maybe some of
the decisions you make or thevision that you have.
A lot of times, they'll lackhumility, they're not real open
(21:47):
to dialogue a lot of times, andthey kind of create a culture of
fear or defensiveness withinyour team.
So why is this a problem?
Well, chronic critics canreally erode your confidence and
create division within yourorganization.
Their negativity can distractfrom your mission and discourage
(22:10):
other people.
So while you want constructivefeedback that's valuable, you
want that but chronic criticismis often really unhelpful and
it's even demoralizing.
You know what did TheodoreRoosevelt say?
He said one time he said itbehooves every man to remember
(22:32):
that the work of the critic isof altogether secondary, of
secondary importance, and thatin the end, progress is
accomplished by the man who doesthings.
Typically, the critic is notgoing to deal with anything.
So you know they're just goingto criticize, but they don't
perform.
(22:52):
So how do you deal with them?
Well, first of all you've gotto have some, you know, evaluate
some feedback, discern whethertheir criticism has any kind of
merit, and maybe they just don'tdeliver it very well.
If it's valid, you've got toact on it.
If it's unfounded, you just gotto release it to God, just let
it go.
(23:12):
Another thing you can do isrespond, but do it with grace.
So you want to avoid beingdefensive, you just want to
respond calmly.
You know you can say somethinglike hey, thanks for sharing
that, I'll prayerfully consideryour feedback, and that's fine.
And then you leave it at thatand then set some boundaries for
(23:33):
engagement, so you limit timespent addressing their criticism
and then you redirect them toformal feedback channels Maybe
you've got a suggestion processor something like that but you
kind of refunnel them orredirect them into these other
feedback channels and then makesure that you foster a real
(23:55):
positive culture in your company.
If you do that, a lot of thesekinds of people will either have
to change or they'll leavebecause they can't operate in a
real positive culture.
So you want to do that and thenpray for their heart, ask God
to soften their heart and guidethem towards humility and
encouragement.
I think those are veryimportant ways that you can deal
(24:18):
with them.
And then, lastly, we have theboaster.
The boaster always is lookingfor attention.
He's looking for validationthrough mostly through
self-promotion and exaggeration.
They frequently inflate theiraccomplishments or maybe their
skills or their influence, and alot of times they present
(24:41):
themselves as more successful orcapable than they really are or
capable than they really are.
They really have a craving forpraise and recognition,
admiration from other people,and they may kind of fish around
for compliments.
They tend to monopolizediscussions because they want to
(25:02):
focus on their own stories,their own experiences or
opinions, and they ofteninterrupt, interrupt and they
really kind of dismiss otherpeople's contributions and most
of the time they'll lackhumility, you know.
And so why is this a problem?
Well, the boaster which ischaracterized by self-promotion
(25:25):
exaggeration.
They can create severalchallenges in a professional
setting.
It really kind of drains energy.
Tension's always got to be onthem.
It undermines maybe yourcompany's morale.
It creates a lot of distrustand it conflicts really with
Christian values.
It distracts from the mission.
(25:50):
So how do you deal with them?
Well, first of all, you've gotto model humility.
I think that's important.
Next, you've got to redirectconversations to more focus on
the shared goals, so you gentlysteer discussions away from
their self-promotion towardswhat are the organizational
objectives or your team'scontributions.
This will keep interactionsproductive.
(26:13):
You can say things like hey, Iappreciate your enthusiasm,
let's focus on how this alignswith our project goals.
What specific steps can we takenext?
And just kind of turn theirattention to that.
And then make sure that you setsome clear boundaries.
You just kind of politely limitthe time spent on their
focusing on their personalnarratives, use time management
(26:37):
techniques, set meetings andthen encourage constructive
contributions.
Constructive contributions, youknow, channel their energy into
a more meaningful action, typeof specific ideas and
contributions, and so this kindof helps shift their focus from
(26:59):
boasting to problem solving andthen hold them accountable.
You know, when boasters makebold claims, follow up with
clear expectations and timelinesto ensure they deliver.
So that helps distinguish ifthey have any kind of genuine
capability and it helps youdistinguish between that and
(27:19):
exaggeration.
And it helps you to maintainthat accountability.
And then pray for discernment,pray for grace, and then pray
for discernment, pray for graceAgain, seek God's wisdom to
discern this boaster'sintentions and respond to them
with love.
You know John 16, 13.
You know that's how we are.
To know we are his disciples isif we love one another.
(27:41):
So make sure that you at leastdo that.
And so pray for patience, toengage with them without
frustration, and for their heartto grow in more humility, and
so that's very, very important.
And so these are the five that Iwould say you need, or six that
(28:02):
you really have to be aware of.
As you're building a businessor a department, as you add more
employees you're going to beaware of, as you're building a
business or a department, as youadd more employees, you're
going to come across some ofthese people.
So your next step should benumber one develop a personal
action plan.
So identify who these peopleare, write down some specific
boundaries and strategies foreach of these people.
(28:24):
Next, you strengthen yourspiritual foundation so that you
stay spiritually strong.
So make sure you have a dailyprayer and scripture reading
time to stay grounded.
And third, you can build asupport network, so make sure
that you've got godly mentorsaround you, some good team
members who uplift and challengeyou in a positive way and then
(28:49):
train your team.
Train your team, equip yourteam to recognize and manage
these behaviors as well.
And then, lastly, you canevaluate.
Evaluate on a regular basis, soyou want to periodically assess
your own personal energy levelsand your time balance and make
sure you're adjusting boundariesand strategies as you need to
(29:11):
to make sure you keep a goodbalance.
So, as Christian businessleaders, you're called to lead
with love and wisdom anddiscernment.
But by recognizing these kindsof individuals who drain your
energy or waste your time, youcan protect your God-given
mission and really lead withgreater effectiveness.
And through prayer and biblicalprinciples and practical
(29:34):
strategies, you can manage theserelationships with grace, while
staying focused on God'spurpose for your leadership.
So we just hope that you canyou know, walk in the strength
of Proverbs 3, 5 through 6,trusting that God is going to
guide your path as you navigatea lot of these challenges when
(29:58):
you're dealing with these kindsof people.
Father, thank you right now forthose who have decided to listen
to this podcast today.
And, lord, I pray and I believeif they will apply these
principles, lord, they're goingto find great success as a
leader.
And Lord, I pray that they'llbe able to recognize the dangers
(30:19):
that the people that we'vediscussed can bring.
Lord, help them to deal withthese people in a godly manner
and not allow them to hinder,lord, the vision that you've
given them.
And, lord, I ask this in thename of Jesus, amen.
So thanks again for downloadingthis week's CBC podcast and for
helping us reach one millionbusiness leaders.
(30:40):
Together, we're helpingbusiness leaders find true godly
success.
Well, that's all the time wehave for today, so until next
time, remember Jesus is Lord andhe wants you blessed.
Speaker 1 (31:02):
Thank you for tuning into this week's Christian
Business Concepts podcast.
Go toChristianBusinessconceptscom for
more information and resources.
Be sure to check out otherpodcasts that will help you take
your business and your personallife to a whole new level of
success.
Welcome to the Christian Business Concepts with
your host, harold Milby.
Christian Business Concepts isdedicated to guiding companies
and business owners in becomingeffective, efficient and
successful through God's Wordand godly principles.
Now, here's your host, haroldMilby.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
Thanks again, kelly, and welcome everyone to this
week's Christian BusinessConcepts podcast.
You know our mission here atCBC is to help you find true
godly success by applyingbiblical principles, and I hope
and I pray that you'll beencouraged and enlightened and
empowered by today's podcast andhope that you'll help us to
(00:41):
grow the CBC family by sharingtoday's podcast with four or
five other people and even maybeposting this episode on one of
your LinkedIn pages or yourFacebook pages.
You know we just thank you forhelping us to grow the family
and being a part of thiscommunity.
You know, today I want to givea big shout out to the country
(01:03):
of Zambia.
You know, today I want to givea big shout out to the country
of Zambia.
You know we appreciate youthose of you there in Zambia for
becoming a part of theChristian Business Concepts
community.
We appreciate allowing us tohave you a part of it and we're
(01:36):
very humbled by the number ofyou that participate every week.
Now in today's spotlightbusiness spotlight, I want to
talk about a company calledSunshine Nut Company.
You know, in his mid-40s, donLarson left his executive
position at Hershey, which was avery lucrative business.
(01:59):
It was a very lucrativeposition that he had with
Hershey position that he hadwith Hershey and he helped
Hershey to source a lot ofsupply that they needed.
And so it took him all aroundthe world and work took him to
Africa and he was there tosource some cocoa and he was
(02:22):
absolutely appalled absolutelyappalled at the conditions in
Mozambique and so he startedthis company in 2011.
And for the primary reason ofhelping the people, helping the
farmers and really helping wholecommunities.
You know, he really practicesreverse tithing.
(02:48):
What is that?
Well, that's where he keeps 10%of the profits and he gives
away 90% and that money goes tohelp transform schools, bring
about greater nutrition, healthcare, housing.
He's also involved inorphanages and a lot of those
(03:10):
children.
After they get through theorphanage or even if they're
adopted, he hires those peopleand they become good, mature
adults that are giving back intotheir community.
So he's really making adifference in Mozambique and
they've become now one of thelargest companies in the world
(03:34):
that supplies fresh nuts, andthey do some things very unusual
they freeze, dry these nuts assoon as they're picked.
Nobody else does that, and sohe has come up with this idea
and he did that when he was overthere trying to source cocoa,
(04:00):
and he happened to notice therewas a lot of nut farms there in
Mozambique, and so, because ofthe conditions that he saw, he
went back home, home, and he wascompletely convicted in his
heart and so he gave up thelucrative position, he sold
everything he had and he movedover there to start the Sunshine
Nut Company, and so they'reinfluencing really thousands of
people on a regular basis asmuch as 100,000 people on a
(04:23):
regular basis, and they'retrying to help other businesses
in the country to repeat hismodel, to do some of the same
things that they're doing.
So the next time you pick up abag of sunshine nuts, think
about the lives that are beingimpacted for the gospel, and we
just appreciate your sunshine,we appreciate the work that
(04:44):
you're doing.
Keep it up, and we thank Godfor you.
Now, as Christian businessleaders and in the professional
world, you're going to encountera lot of different people.
Some of these people are goingto work for you, some of them
are not.
Some are going to be.
You're going to meet themintentionally, some are going to
be unintentionally, and somepeople that you're going to run
(05:06):
into can hinder you.
They can hinder youreffectiveness, they can drain
your energy.
They can really take your eyeoff of the God-given purpose
that God's given you, and youneed to recognize these
individuals, and recognizingthese individuals and managing
relationships with them isreally critical to maintaining
(05:30):
your spiritual and emotional andprofessional health.
So today I want to outline somekey types of individuals to be
aware of and why this awarenessis important, and then I want to
give you some biblical,grounded strategies that will
help you deal with each one ofthese different type of people.
(05:53):
And so why should we even betalking about this?
Why is this important?
Well, number one, it'sbasically trying to help you be
a good steward of your time andyour energy.
You know your time and yourenergy.
You know your time and yourenergy are finite resources.
You know you don't have it.
You know you have so much timein a day, you've got so much
energy, and allowing otherpeople to drain you of these
(06:18):
resources can really stop andhinder you from fulfilling the
calling that God's put on yourlife.
And you know, I would encourageyou to read Ephesians, chapter
five, because it talks aboutthis.
And the second thing is it'sreally important for your
emotional and spiritual health,because negative or toxic
(06:42):
relationships can lead toburnout, to frustration or
spiritual discouragement, andthat's going to hinder your
ability to lead, and not just tolead people, but to lead people
with joy.
So that's important.
Third, organizationaleffectiveness.
You know, as a leader, yourwell-being directly impacts your
(07:06):
team directly.
It directly impacts your team.
As a leader, so you want toprotect yourself from anything
that's, you know, any kind ofinfluence that drains you.
You want to be able to makesure that you can lead with
strength and vision, likeNehemiah did, and I would
(07:27):
encourage you to just readNehemiah 6, verses 1 through 9.
And then number four having aChrist-like discernment.
You know Jesus modeleddiscernment in his interactions
and he balanced compassion withboundaries.
And as leaders, you're calledto love others while maintaining
(07:48):
a focus on God's priorities.
So it's really important thatwe identify these individuals,
we're aware of them and then wegive you some biblical
principles on how to deal withthese individuals.
So the first one is the chroniccomplainer.
(08:11):
The chronic complainer, youknow these are people that just
constantly focus on problems.
They don't come to you with anysolutions, they just bring
problems to you and, let's behonest, we can always find
people to help you identify whatthe problems are.
The issue is trying to findpeople that can bring you
(08:31):
solutions.
But the chronic complainerdoesn't do that.
They just come and theycomplain.
They complain aboutcircumstances, they complain
about some of their co-workers,they complain about leadership's
decisions.
You know they rarely expressgratitude or optimism and
they're going to seek you outand they'll do it repeatedly
(08:53):
because they want to vent andthey want you to allow them to
vent without you taking any kindof action.
So why is this a problem?
Well, chronic complainers kindof zap you of your emotional
energy and it kind of creates anegative atmosphere.
Their focus on problems is whatcauses this distraction,
(09:18):
because instead of you beingable to focus on strategic
priorities, you're having tofocus on a lot of negativity.
And if it goes unchecked, theirattitude may influence other
people in your organization.
So how do you deal with them?
Well, first of all, you've gotto politely but firmly and I
(09:43):
mean that politely but firmlyyou've got to limit the time
that you spend listening tothose complaints.
You know, for example, youcould say something like you
know, I hear your concern, let'stake five minutes to discuss a
possible solution.
So what you're doing is you'regetting their focus away from
complaining and saying, okay,let's come up with a solution.
(10:03):
If you do that long enough,those people will begin to
change the way they come to youand a lot of times they won't
come to you until they have asolution, which is what you're
looking for.
So you want to redirect themand then, after you set those
boundaries, you redirect withthose solutions.
You help them, encourage themto propose some kind of solution
(10:26):
, something that's actionable,you know.
Ask them, hey, what steps doyou think we can take to address
this issue?
And that shifts theconversation from venting to
problem solving.
You also want to modelpositivity, you know.
You want to reflect Philippians4 and 8 by focusing on what's
true and noble and praiseworthyin your interactions, and your
(10:51):
example can influence theirperspective completely.
And then you need to pray fordiscernment, pray for patience,
ask God for wisdom to discernwhen to engage and when to
redirect, pray for that person'sheart, help them to find peace,
pray for them to find peace andgratitude and then again limit
(11:13):
your access If that behaviorcontinues.
You have to reduce your accessthat they have to you and you
delegate this communication tosomebody that you trust on your
team, or you can schedulespecific times for these kinds
of discussions.
You know Zig Ziglar I grew upwith.
(11:36):
I read a lot of his books fromthe time I was 17 years old.
He had a great influence on mylife, but he said one time he
said be grateful for what youhave and stop complaining.
It bores everybody else, doesyou no good and doesn't solve
any problems.
And that's it in a nutshell,all right.
The second person that you gotto be aware of is the time
(11:56):
waster.
Now, this is a person thatfrequently interrupts with very
non-urgent issues and matters.
They engage in very lengthy,unfocused conversations or
meetings.
They request a lot of time,very excessive amount of time
(12:18):
for certain things or tasks thatcould be handled a lot more
efficiently, and they may lackself-awareness about the value
of your time.
As a leader, you have to be onthe hunt to protect your time,
(12:38):
and they may not be aware ofthat.
So why is this a problem?
Well, time wasters are going toderail your schedule.
They'll prevent you fromfocusing on really high priority
tasks.
As a leader, your time is socritical.
It's such a critical resourcefor advancing your
organization's mission or yourdepartment's mission, and so
(13:01):
allowing these interactions topersist can lead to frustration
and reduce productivity.
You know, even Charles Darwinsaid one time a man who dares to
waste one hour of time has notdiscovered the value of life,
and I think that's apropos forwhat we're talking about.
So how do you deal with thesepeople?
Well, first thing that you'vegot to do is you've got to
(13:24):
establish some very clearexpectations.
So you need to set somespecific times for meetings,
communicate your availability.
You know, for example, hey, I'mavailable for a 15-minute
discussion at two o'clock.
You know.
So you've already told them upfront.
You got 15 minutes and you keepthat.
(13:46):
You stay that and keep yourconviction on that.
And then use some timemanagement tools.
You know.
Implement tools like agendas,you know, time-sensitive
meetings, task managementsoftware to keep things real
focused.
And then, when it's appropriate, you need to delegate so you
(14:08):
can assign some non-criticaltasks or discussions to other
team members to free up yourtime.
So I think that's important.
And then be direct.
Be direct with grace.
You know, if somebodyconsistently oversteps, what you
want to do is just be real kind, but you can address it and you
(14:30):
can say something like you knowhey, look, I value our
conversations, but I need tofocus on X.
Whatever that priority is,let's schedule a time to connect
that lets them know that whatthey have to say is important
and that you see it as important, but you have something that's
a lot more priority right nowthat you need to focus on.
(14:50):
And then, lastly, seek God'sguidance.
You know, pray for wisdom.
You know you've got to be ableto balance accessibility with
discipline, and Jesus gives usthat example.
He retreated, he got away attimes.
He focused on himself,sometimes when he would get away
.
So you can see that in Luke,chapter 5, verse 16.
(15:12):
So you really have to take alook at that.
And then number three is what Icall the energy vampire.
I call him the energy vampire,and these people will leave you
feeling emotionally drained.
After every time you have aninteraction with them, after
every meeting, you almost feellike they've just stuck a straw
(15:35):
in you and they're just drainingyou dry.
Some of these people may beneedy, they may be overly needy,
and they just seem to demandconstant attention, constant
validation.
You know they seem to focusmore on their own problems or
their own insecurities.
(15:55):
They can also be verymanipulative.
They use guilt sometimes ordrama to keep you engaged.
And so why is this a problem?
Well, energy vampires consumeyour emotional and spiritual
reserves right, so it leaves youless equipped to be able to
(16:18):
lead effectively.
And if you're exposed to peoplelike that in a prolonged time
period, it can really lead toburnout or resentment and that
kind of hurts your ability to bea good leader and to be
(16:38):
effective.
So how do you deal with them?
How do you deal with them?
Well, first you've got to guardyour heart.
That's the first thing.
You need to follow Proverbs 4and 23 by protecting your
emotional energy and limit thefrequency, limit the depth of
the interactions that you havewith these types of people.
And then you've got to set somevery firm boundaries.
(17:00):
You know you've got to be ableto decline.
You can be very polite about it, but you've got to decline
excessive demands.
For example, you can saysomething like look, but you've
got to decline excessive demands.
For example, you can saysomething like look, I care
about your situation, but Ican't address this right now.
Can we reconnect later?
So let them know that this is apersonal thing and this is a
(17:20):
business endeavor, and those twodon't always mix.
It's not that you don't careabout your team, your employees,
but the people who zap you ofyour energy are some of the most
dangerous people you can have.
If you're a business leader, sodo that, and then offer very
limited support, because themore support you give them, the
(17:41):
more support they're going towant.
So provide them some resources,maybe help them find a good
counselor or a mentor or anotherteam member to help them to
address their needs withoutrelying solely on you.
That's the danger.
And then pray for their healing, intercede for their emotional
(18:02):
and spiritual growth.
You know, ask God to bring somewholeness to their life.
Ask God to bring some wholenessto their life.
I think that's extremelyimportant when you're dealing
with these kinds of people.
The next person that you have tobe aware of is what I call the
manipulator.
(18:22):
The manipulator, and these arethe people.
They'll use flattery, they'lluse guilt, they'll use pressure
to influence your decisions, anda lot of them will have hidden
agendas.
They're looking for personalgain at your expense.
They'll often disregard yourboundaries or your priorities.
But you know, yet these peoplecan seem very charming, very
(18:48):
supportive, but they really actin their own self-interest.
Now why is this a problem?
Well, manipulators canundermine your leadership and
they can exploit your trust.
They can divert resources fortheir own benefit.
Their actions really kind oferode team morale and trust, and
(19:10):
as a Christian leader, you'vegot to discern their motives so
you can protect the mission thatyou know that God's given you.
So how do you deal with thesepeople?
Well, first you've got to seeksome discernment.
So you've got to pray for theHoly Spirit to guide you to be
able to recognize manipulativebehavior.
You know, john 16, 13 says thatwhen the spirit of truth would
(19:34):
come, he would lead us and guideus into all truth.
And so that's what we're askingGod for is to give you that
understanding, to let him leadyou into all truth, so that you
can get that guidance torecognize this kind of behavior.
And then you need to be verytransparent, document decisions
and interactions to ensure thatthis person is accountable.
(19:59):
You want to avoid any kind ofprivate commitments that could
be misconstrued.
You really have to be carefulhere.
But you have to assertboundaries.
You've got to really clearlystate your priorities, state
your decisions.
For example, you know you couldsay something look, I
(20:19):
prayerfully considered this andmy decision is X.
Don't say things like well, I'mkind of thinking no, you've got
to be very clear, very decisive, so that they understand that
there is no wiggle room, andthen you confront them.
You confront, do it with love,do it with truth.
If necessary.
(20:39):
You've got to address thisbehavior directly, and you can
use Matthew, chapter 18, verses15 through 17, as a guide.
But you need to speaktruthfully while you're showing
grace that's so critical, sovery important and then surround
yourself.
Surround yourself with godlycounsel, get advice from mentors
(21:02):
or advisors that are in yourlife and help them to validate
your perspective and to notallow you to be swayed by this
type of person.
And so those are some of thethings that you can do to deal
with them.
So what's the next person?
Well, the next person is what Icall the chronic critic.
(21:24):
So these are people that areconstantly pointing out flaws or
mistakes.
They don't offer any kind ofconstructive feedback, they just
criticize.
They may criticize yourleadership style, maybe some of
the decisions you make or thevision that you have.
A lot of times, they'll lackhumility, they're not real open
(21:47):
to dialogue a lot of times, andthey kind of create a culture of
fear or defensiveness withinyour team.
So why is this a problem?
Well, chronic critics canreally erode your confidence and
create division within yourorganization.
Their negativity can distractfrom your mission and discourage
(22:10):
other people.
So while you want constructivefeedback that's valuable, you
want that but chronic criticismis often really unhelpful and
it's even demoralizing.
You know what did TheodoreRoosevelt say?
He said one time he said itbehooves every man to remember
(22:32):
that the work of the critic isof altogether secondary, of
secondary importance, and thatin the end, progress is
accomplished by the man who doesthings.
Typically, the critic is notgoing to deal with anything.
So you know they're just goingto criticize, but they don't
perform.
(22:52):
So how do you deal with them?
Well, first of all you've gotto have some, you know, evaluate
some feedback, discern whethertheir criticism has any kind of
merit, and maybe they just don'tdeliver it very well.
If it's valid, you've got toact on it.
If it's unfounded, you just gotto release it to God, just let
it go.
(23:12):
Another thing you can do isrespond, but do it with grace.
So you want to avoid beingdefensive, you just want to
respond calmly.
You know you can say somethinglike hey, thanks for sharing
that, I'll prayerfully consideryour feedback, and that's fine.
And then you leave it at thatand then set some boundaries for
(23:33):
engagement, so you limit timespent addressing their criticism
and then you redirect them toformal feedback channels Maybe
you've got a suggestion processor something like that but you
kind of refunnel them orredirect them into these other
feedback channels and then makesure that you foster a real
(23:55):
positive culture in your company.
If you do that, a lot of thesekinds of people will either have
to change or they'll leavebecause they can't operate in a
real positive culture.
So you want to do that and thenpray for their heart, ask God
to soften their heart and guidethem towards humility and
encouragement.
I think those are veryimportant ways that you can deal
(24:18):
with them.
And then, lastly, we have theboaster.
The boaster always is lookingfor attention.
He's looking for validationthrough mostly through
self-promotion and exaggeration.
They frequently inflate theiraccomplishments or maybe their
skills or their influence, and alot of times they present
(24:41):
themselves as more successful orcapable than they really are or
capable than they really are.
They really have a craving forpraise and recognition,
admiration from other people,and they may kind of fish around
for compliments.
They tend to monopolizediscussions because they want to
(25:02):
focus on their own stories,their own experiences or
opinions, and they ofteninterrupt, interrupt and they
really kind of dismiss otherpeople's contributions and most
of the time they'll lackhumility, you know.
And so why is this a problem?
Well, the boaster which ischaracterized by self-promotion
(25:25):
exaggeration.
They can create severalchallenges in a professional
setting.
It really kind of drains energy.
Tension's always got to be onthem.
It undermines maybe yourcompany's morale.
It creates a lot of distrustand it conflicts really with
Christian values.
It distracts from the mission.
(25:50):
So how do you deal with them?
Well, first of all, you've gotto model humility.
I think that's important.
Next, you've got to redirectconversations to more focus on
the shared goals, so you gentlysteer discussions away from
their self-promotion towardswhat are the organizational
objectives or your team'scontributions.
This will keep interactionsproductive.
(26:13):
You can say things like hey, Iappreciate your enthusiasm,
let's focus on how this alignswith our project goals.
What specific steps can we takenext?
And just kind of turn theirattention to that.
And then make sure that you setsome clear boundaries.
You just kind of politely limitthe time spent on their
focusing on their personalnarratives, use time management
(26:37):
techniques, set meetings andthen encourage constructive
contributions.
Constructive contributions, youknow, channel their energy into
a more meaningful action, typeof specific ideas and
contributions, and so this kindof helps shift their focus from
(26:59):
boasting to problem solving andthen hold them accountable.
You know, when boasters makebold claims, follow up with
clear expectations and timelinesto ensure they deliver.
So that helps distinguish ifthey have any kind of genuine
capability and it helps youdistinguish between that and
(27:19):
exaggeration.
And it helps you to maintainthat accountability.
And then pray for discernment,pray for grace, and then pray
for discernment, pray for graceAgain, seek God's wisdom to
discern this boaster'sintentions and respond to them
with love.
You know John 16, 13.
You know that's how we are.
To know we are his disciples isif we love one another.
(27:41):
So make sure that you at leastdo that.
And so pray for patience, toengage with them without
frustration, and for their heartto grow in more humility, and
so that's very, very important.
And so these are the five that Iwould say you need, or six that
(28:02):
you really have to be aware of.
As you're building a businessor a department, as you add more
employees you're going to beaware of, as you're building a
business or a department, as youadd more employees, you're
going to come across some ofthese people.
So your next step should benumber one develop a personal
action plan.
So identify who these peopleare, write down some specific
boundaries and strategies foreach of these people.
(28:24):
Next, you strengthen yourspiritual foundation so that you
stay spiritually strong.
So make sure you have a dailyprayer and scripture reading
time to stay grounded.
And third, you can build asupport network, so make sure
that you've got godly mentorsaround you, some good team
members who uplift and challengeyou in a positive way and then
(28:49):
train your team.
Train your team, equip yourteam to recognize and manage
these behaviors as well.
And then, lastly, you canevaluate.
Evaluate on a regular basis, soyou want to periodically assess
your own personal energy levelsand your time balance and make
sure you're adjusting boundariesand strategies as you need to
(29:11):
to make sure you keep a goodbalance.
So, as Christian businessleaders, you're called to lead
with love and wisdom anddiscernment.
But by recognizing these kindsof individuals who drain your
energy or waste your time, youcan protect your God-given
mission and really lead withgreater effectiveness.
And through prayer and biblicalprinciples and practical
(29:34):
strategies, you can manage theserelationships with grace, while
staying focused on God'spurpose for your leadership.
So we just hope that you canyou know, walk in the strength
of Proverbs 3, 5 through 6,trusting that God is going to
guide your path as you navigatea lot of these challenges when
(29:58):
you're dealing with these kindsof people.
Father, thank you right now forthose who have decided to listen
to this podcast today.
And, lord, I pray and I believeif they will apply these
principles, lord, they're goingto find great success as a
leader.
And Lord, I pray that they'llbe able to recognize the dangers
(30:19):
that the people that we'vediscussed can bring.
Lord, help them to deal withthese people in a godly manner
and not allow them to hinder,lord, the vision that you've
given them.
And, lord, I ask this in thename of Jesus, amen.
So thanks again for downloadingthis week's CBC podcast and for
helping us reach one millionbusiness leaders.
(30:40):
Together, we're helpingbusiness leaders find true godly
success.
Well, that's all the time wehave for today, so until next
time, remember Jesus is Lord andhe wants you blessed.
Speaker 1 (31:02):
Thank you for tuning into this week's Christian
Business Concepts podcast.
Go toChristianBusinessconceptscom for
more information and resources.
Be sure to check out otherpodcasts that will help you take
your business and your personallife to a whole new level of
success.
Popular Podcasts
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.
The Clay Travis and Buck Sexton Show
The Clay Travis and Buck Sexton Show. Clay Travis and Buck Sexton tackle the biggest stories in news, politics and current events with intelligence and humor. From the border crisis, to the madness of cancel culture and far-left missteps, Clay and Buck guide listeners through the latest headlines and hot topics with fun and entertaining conversations and opinions.