Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:03):
Welcome to the Christian Business Concepts with
your host, harold Milby.
Christian Business Concepts isdedicated to guiding companies
and business owners in becomingeffective, efficient and
successful through God's Wordand godly principles.
Now, here's your host, haroldMilby.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
Thank you, kelly, and welcome everyone to this week's
Christian Business Conceptsweekly podcast.
You know this is Harold Milby,I'm your host and I'm so
thankful and very humbled foryou downloading and listening to
this podcast and others.
And you know, thousands havelistened to CBC and in many
(00:40):
countries around the world andhere in the United States, and
you know, every one of yourepresents CBC and the CBC
community and I'm just soappreciative of you being a part
and I just want to thank you aswe try each week to help you
(01:00):
apply biblical principles, youknow, to different business
topics that will help you findtrue godly success.
So our goal here is to reachover 1 million businesses and
organizational leaders and I'masking for your help in doing
that by sharing this podcastwith four or five others and
sharing the link to this podcastand each week's podcast on your
(01:24):
Facebook and your LinkedInpages and to try to encourage
others to listen.
Now, before we get into today'stopic, I'd like to give a big
shout out to Frankfurt, germany,for downloading so many
downloads.
Thank you, germany, and thanksto all of you all over the world
, including the United States,for being a part of this awesome
(01:46):
community.
I appreciate you all you know,as Christian business leaders,
our encompasses the spiritualand the emotional well-being of
(02:10):
ourselves and of other peoplethat we serve and that we lead.
And in order to do that, ittakes something called emotional
intelligence, and we can callit EI for short.
But emotional intelligence is acritical, critical component of
being an effective leader,particularly for those that are
(02:33):
seeking to model Christ-likebehavior.
And today I want to take a kindof a deeper dive.
You know I've talked aboutemotional intelligence before,
but I really want to take adeeper dive into emotional
intelligence in order to help usto understand its importance
and its possible effects.
(02:53):
So let me kind of give you alittle bit of history so we can
talk about where this wholeconcept came from.
So back in the early 20s iskind of where this root of
emotional intelligence can betraced to, and it goes back to a
man by the name of EdwardThorndyke and he was an American
(03:18):
psychologist and he introducedthis concept of social
intelligence in the 1920s and hedefined it as the ability to
understand and manage men andwomen, boys and girls to act
wisely in human relations.
Now you fast forward to 1983,and you have a man by the name
(03:42):
of Howard Gardner and he was adevelopmental psychologist and
he expanded the understanding ofthis EI in his book, and the
book was called Frames of Mind.
And in his book he explains thetheory of these multiple
intelligences and he proposedthat intelligence is not a
(04:04):
single entity but it includesother things like interpersonal
intelligence, which is theunderstanding of others, and
interpersonal intelligence,that's understanding oneself,
and these things align closelywith the components of emotional
intelligence.
(04:26):
You know, the term emotionalintelligence was first formally
introduced by a man by the nameof Peter Solovey, and he later
became the president of YaleUniversity.
It was him and a guy named JohnMeyer, a psychologist him and a
(04:48):
guy named John Meyer, apsychologist that they put
together an academic paper in1990 called Emotional
Intelligence, and they definedit as the ability to monitor
one's own and others' feelingsand emotions, to discriminate
among them and to use thisinformation to guide one's
thinking and actions.
And then, in 1995, there was abestseller that was written,
(05:10):
also by a psychologist and alsojournalist, by the name of
Daniel Goleman.
He wrote a book calledEmotional Intelligence why it
Can Matter More Than IQ, andGoleman just took and expanded
on Salovey and Mayer's work,framing emotional intelligence
(05:31):
as a critical skill.
He was the one that said thisis a critical skill for success
in leadership and in businessand he identified five key
components of emotionalintelligence, which are
self-awareness, self-regulation,motivation, empathy and social
(05:54):
skills In his book really kindof got the ball rolling.
It really sparked a widespreadinterest in applying emotional
intelligence to leadership, tocorporate culture, to
professional development, and sothat was kind of the book that
kind of set it out.
(06:15):
But the great thing about it isthat this isn't anything new
according to the Word of God andwe'll get into some of that,
but this is just somethingthat's based really a lot on the
Word of God and we'll get intosome of that, but this is just
something that's based really alot on the Word of God.
You know, the integration ofthis into leadership theory and
(06:36):
into practice really began totake hold in the early 2000s.
It was considered a soft skillthat most leaders needed to
learn.
There was research that wasdone by organizations like
Harvard Business Review and theytalked about showing leaders
how important it was to haveemotional intelligence and how
(07:00):
that in some of these researchit showed that the people with
high emotional intelligenceconsistently outperformed those
with lower emotionalintelligence.
So then there became trainingprograms and executive coaching
took place with EI and you knowthere was a lot of assessments
(07:21):
that were done to help leadersimprove and to improve their
decision making and theirconflict resolution, their
communication.
And so today here we are, inthe 21st century, you know, and
emotional intelligence remains areally important component of
leadership.
(07:42):
I don't think it's ever goingto go away.
Maine's a really importantcomponent of leadership.
I don't think it's ever goingto go away.
And especially when we talkabout navigating through
challenges like remote workteams and global teams and
diversity, you know rapid changeand uncertainty.
You know where you have to bereally adaptable, and tools like
(08:04):
EQ 2.0, that's emotionalquotient inventory they're used
for measuring and developingemotional intelligence and
leaders today.
So what I want to do is I wantto give you some examples
briefly here for people who haveemotional intelligence.
(08:25):
So Satya Nadella she's the CEOof Microsoft and she's a good
example of self-awareness, whichis part of this emotional
intelligence.
When Nadella became CEO, heacknowledged Microsoft's need to
(08:45):
move away from a culture ofkind of internal competition to
more of one, that's, one ofcollaboration.
You know.
He really recognized thecompany's flaws.
He set forth a real clearvision for this cultural
transformation, if you will.
He also exemplified empathy andit was very evident, I think,
(09:11):
in the efforts that he did tomake Microsoft a more inclusive
workspace or workplace.
You know his personalexperience of raising a child
with special needs.
It really kind of gave him agreater, more deeper
understanding of this diversityand he inspired a lot of company
(09:31):
policies that supportedemployees that had maybe some
unique challenges like they did.
And then you have Howard Schultz.
He was the founder and formerCEO of Starbucks, and Schultz
prioritized employee well-beingby introducing a lot of health
insurance for part-timeemployees and stock options.
(09:53):
You know he had this ability toconnect with the workforce and
this really fostered this strongsense of trust and loyalty.
So he was able to have empathyfor the employees.
But he also had resilience andmotivation, because Schultz's
commitment to Starbucks' missionof creating this welcoming
(10:18):
atmosphere really helped thecompany recover from financial
difficulties during the 2008recession.
And then, of course, anothergood example is Oprah Winfrey.
You know her self-awareness andempathy is shown through.
You know her ability really toconnect really deeply with her
(10:41):
audience.
You know she often shares ofher own personal struggles.
You know she was veryvulnerable, but you know,
because of that, she was able tobuild trust and she had really
great social skills, her abilityto really build these strong
relationships, and she fosteredcollaboration.
(11:02):
It's really been thecornerstone of her brand, if I
can say it that way, and itresulted in some really good
partnerships and opportunitiesthat really amplify her
influence.
And then you have Elon Musk,who's the CEO of Tesla and
SpaceX and X, and you know hereally showed a lot of
(11:24):
motivation and resilience.
You know Musk.
He's critiqued a lot of timesfor his intensity and his
relentless motivation andinspire.
His teams, though, have led tosome really groundbreaking
innovation innovation inmultiple industries.
He tried and practicedself-regulation.
(11:47):
He really showed growth inregulating his public
communication over time,particularly after he faced a
lot of backlash for someimpulsive comments that he made
on social media.
So he's learned from that, andthat's all we can ask.
And then there's Mary Barra,who's the CEO of General Motors.
(12:09):
She showed a lot of empathyduring the transformation time
with GM.
She led them through thesechanges, including introducing
electric vehicles andrestructuring the company,
including introducing electricvehicles and restructuring the
company.
She demonstrated this empathyby communicating very
(12:30):
transparently with employeesduring the layoffs and ensuring
that their concerns were goingto be addressed and she was very
approachable, verycollaborative in her leadership
style and again she fostered alot of trust and created a lot
of positive attitude.
And again, she fostered a lotof trust and created a lot of
positive attitude.
And then, of course, lastly,there's Jeff Weiner, who's the
former CEO of LinkedIn, verycompassionate leader.
(12:52):
He emphasized the importance ofcompassionate management.
That was something that I thinkhe coined the phrase of
compassionate management and heprioritizes understanding the
needs and the aspirations of histeam members and empowers them
in every way that he can to helpthem succeed.
He was very self-aware, he hadgreat social skills and he was
(13:15):
very focused on active listening, which really helped people and
helped him to create a verysupportive and high-performing
culture at LinkedIn.
So these are some examples ofpeople who had really high
emotional intelligence.
So what really is it?
(13:35):
How can I define emotionalintelligence?
Well, it's the ability torecognize.
It's the ability to recognize,understand, manage and influence
emotions in yourself and others.
David Caruso said Emotionalintelligence is not the triumph
of heart over head.
It is the unique intersectionof both, and that's what we've
(14:01):
always missed in leadership, andit really has these five
components that were talkedabout in some of the books that
I mentioned earlier.
It's got five key componentsself-awareness, which is
understanding your own emotions,your own strengths, your own
weaknesses, your own values andhow that they impact other
people.
And then there'sself-regulation that's the
(14:22):
second one other people and thenthere's self-regulation that's
the second one, and that's theability to control, maybe,
impulsive behaviors, to manageyour emotions in a healthy way
and to adapt to changingcircumstances without getting
out of control.
And the third is motivationthat's a deep drive.
It's a really deep drive topursue your goals with a lot of
(14:46):
energy, a lot of resilience anda lot of purpose.
And fourth is empathy, and thisis really the capacity to
really understand and share thefeelings of others, and then you
begin to foster these reallymeaningful connections.
(15:07):
And then, lastly, number fiveis social skills Social skills,
so having a proficiency inbuilding relationships and
communicating effectively andleading others towards a shared
vision.
Now, if you look at these fivecomponents the self-awareness,
(15:30):
self-regulation, motivation,empathy and social skills if you
really look at them, what youfind is you find all five of
these things throughout the Wordof God, from Genesis to
Revelation.
There's a lot that's talkedabout, even though it doesn't
use the words that these thingsare.
(15:50):
They don't use in the Bibleself-awareness, motivation,
empathy, social skills.
It doesn't mention those exactwords, but when we look at what
they mean, you find in the Wordof God in many, many, many
passages, that each one of thesethings are addressed repeatedly
because they're so important.
(16:11):
They're so important to us asleaders, but they're important
to us as individuals as well aswell.
So why does emotionalintelligence matter for
Christian leaders?
Well, the Bible emphasizes theimportance of wisdom and
compassion and understanding inleadership.
(16:33):
Proverbs 16.32 says Better apatient person than a warrior,
one with self-control than onethat can take a city.
Emotional intelligence, as Isaid, it just really aligns with
all of the virtues in the Wordof God that mentions these five
areas, and it enhances yourability.
(16:55):
Ei enhances your ability tobuild trust and rapport with
employees and with other leaders.
It helps you to navigateconflict with grace and humility
, which is important.
It'll help you to inspire andmotivate others through servant
(17:16):
leadership, which we've talkedabout, and it'll help you to
reflect Christ's love andcompassion in daily interactions
.
So what do we need to do todevelop emotional intelligence?
How can we do that?
Well, first of all, one of thefirst five components is
self-awareness, which meansyou've got to know yourself.
(17:38):
You know, know yourself, youknow.
Aristotle said one time knowingyourself is the beginning of
all wisdom, so it's important.
Proverbs 4.23 says keep yourheart with all diligence, for
from it flows the springs oflife.
Okay, it's important that weknow ourself, that we are
(17:59):
self-aware.
Psalms 139, 23 through 24 saysSearch me, o God, and know my
heart.
Try me, know my thoughts andsee if there have been any
grievous way in me, and lead mein the way of everlasting.
Proverbs 4 and 7 says thebeginning of wisdom is this get
wisdom and whatever you get, getinsight.
It's important for you to knowand be self-aware, and you do
(18:26):
that by spending time in prayer.
I'll encourage you to journal.
Write things down that you feellike the Lord's sharing with
you or you're discovering aboutyourself.
But journal these things.
Examine your emotions, examineyour actionsamine your emotions,
examine your actions, examineyour motivations those are so
important and then look forfeedback.
Encourage people in your circlethat you really trust maybe
(18:48):
mentors, close friends to giveyou honest feedback on your
behavior and your leadershipstyle.
And then make sure that youknow scriptures and you read
scriptures and that you canregularly compare your actions
and your attitudes to whatyou're reading in the Bible and
see if they line up All right.
(19:09):
The next thing is you've got topractice self-regulation,
self-regulation, right.
So Proverbs 16, 32 sayswhosoever is slow to anger is
better than the mighty, and hewho rules his spirit than he who
takes a city.
So that's important.
It's important that we regulateourselves, that we don't just
go off half-cocked or we don'tjust allow ourselves to go off
(19:31):
on the deep end or we don'tcontrol our thoughts, our anger.
I mean.
The Bible says be angry and sinnot.
So he understands that peoplecan get angry.
But that means you have tocontrol yourself, control your
actions.
James 1, 19 and 20 says knowthis, my beloved brothers let
every person be quick to hear,slow to speak, slow to anger,
for the anger of man does notproduce the righteousness of God
(19:54):
.
And then in Galatians 5, 22,23,.
We all know this passage.
But the fruit of the Spirit islove, joy, peace, patience,
kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control.
Against such things there is nolaw.
And so the fruit of the Spiritshould be a part of every
believer's life.
So that's one thing you cancompare yourself to on a regular
(20:16):
basis.
So you've got to practiceself-regulation.
The next thing empathy andunderstanding other people.
So you've got to pray, spendtime.
Again, you can never pray morethan you need to.
Let me just say that you canalways pray more.
You can always spend more timewith God.
(20:38):
It's never going to hurt.
What is that magic time thatyou should spend with God?
There is none.
That's something between youand Him, but you do need to
spend time with Him.
You know James 1.19 says youknow we read just a minute ago.
It says know this let everyperson be quick to hear, slow to
speak, slow to anger.
Again, it's just trying tounderstand other people and not
(21:02):
lash out to them.
You know the Bible says inProverbs 20 and 27, the spirit
of man is the lamp of the Lord,searching all his innermost
parts.
So it's important that you haveempathy, you know, and to do
this and understanding others.
You know, part of that is yougot to set some boundaries.
Set some boundaries.
(21:24):
You got to learn to say nosometimes to avoid, you know,
overcommitment or maybe evenavoid burnout.
You've got to have healthyhabits, you know.
You've got to make sure you getplenty of rest, get exercise,
have a balanced diet.
You get plenty of rest, getexercise, have a balanced diet
because that helps you tomaintain your emotional
(21:45):
stability.
The next thing you need to doagain that's needed is enhance
your motivation.
You know, be anchored in yourpurpose, really know your
purpose and align your goalswith your calling and God's plan
for your life.
You know, recognize and thisthing of motivation.
You got to be sure to recognizeand celebrate little wins in
(22:08):
your life, because what you wantto try to do is you've got to
maintain enthusiasm, you've gotto maintain perseverance, and so
when you celebrate the smallwins, it helps you to do that,
it helps you to stay motivated.
And so when you celebrate thesmall wins, it helps you to do
that.
It helps you to stay motivated.
You know you've got to staypositive.
You need to memorize andmeditate on scriptures that
encourage you to be resilient.
(22:30):
That encourages hope.
You know, like Philippians 4.13, that says I can do all things
through Christ, who strengthensme.
What a great passage.
There's times in my life wherethat is a passage that I read
and I say to myself every singleday, multiple times a day.
So it's important.
The next thing is you've got togrow your empathy.
Grow in empathy.
(22:51):
So to do that, you need topractice active listening.
You've got to focus on otherpeople when they speak.
Got to focus on other peoplewhen they speak, resist that
urge to interrupt them and torespond, maybe with a response
that really doesn't even addresswhat they've been talking about
.
Got to make sure you askquestions, show really genuine
(23:16):
interest and curiosity aboutthat other person, maybe about
their experiences or theirexperiences or their challenges
or their perspectives.
And then you've got to pray.
Pray for compassion, ask God tosoften your heart, deepen your
understanding of other people'sneeds.
So grow in empathy.
And then next, you've got tostrengthen your social skills.
(23:37):
So you want to encourage people, affirm them, give them those
words of encouragement regularly.
You know 1 Thessalonians, 5 and11 talks about that.
Then, in conflict resolution,you've got to learn how to
address these disagreementsconstructively, look for
(24:00):
reconciliation, look for mutualunderstanding and then lead by
example, demonstrate integrityand humility and demonstrate
kindness in all of yourinteractions.
I've known business leaders whoare just plain nasty all the
time.
They treat their peoplehorribly and it's the way they
(24:22):
talk to them, it's the way theylisten to them or like listening
to them, and so you need todemonstrate that, demonstrate
kindness in all yourinteractions.
Next is wise communication.
Stephen Covey said the biggestcommunication problem is we do
not listen to understand.
We listen to reply.
(24:44):
So we're just listening so wecan come up with a reply.
We need to listen to understandthat person.
You know, proverbs 15.1 says asoft answer turns away wrath,
but a harsh word stirs up anger.
What a great example ofcommunicating well.
(25:04):
You know, ephesians 4.29 sayslet no corrupt talk come out of
your mouths, but only such as isgood for building up as it fits
the occasion, that it may givegrace to those who hear.
Great passage, great passage,you know.
Ambrose Bierce said one timesaid speak when you're angry and
(25:26):
you will make the best speechyou will ever regret.
So be careful not to speak outof anger.
Allow yourself first to calmyourself and to get a hold of it
because, again, you want tocommunicate very wisely.
You know, colossians 4, 6 sayslet your speech always be
(25:47):
gracious, seasoned with salt, sothat you may know how you ought
to answer each person.
So all of these things as I'msharing with you, this whole
emotional intelligence thingthat supposedly just came on the
scene, really hasn't.
It's been in the Word of Godfrom the beginning, and so
hopefully these things arehelping.
(26:07):
The next thing is self-control,you know, and managing your
emotions.
Don't let your emotionsoverpower your intelligence.
You know who said that?
Morgan Freeman the actor.
Do not let your emotionsoverpower your intelligence.
Proverbs 25, 28,.
A man without self-control islike a city broken into and left
(26:29):
without walls.
We talked about Galatians 5 and22, 23, about the fruits of the
spirit.
Second Timothy 1 and 7 says forGod gave us a spirit not of
fear, but of power, love andself-control.
So we've got to learn tocontrol things like anger and
frustration.
We just read in Proverbs whereit says Whoever is slow to anger
(26:49):
has great understanding, but hewho has a hasty temper exalts
folly.
It's important that we're slowto anger.
In Ecclesiastes 7 and 9, itsays Be not quick in your spirit
to become angry, for angerlodges in the hearts of fools.
So very, very important that weunderstand that.
(27:11):
And then we need to rely, relyon God for your emotional
strength.
You know, isaiah 26 and 3 saysyou keep him in perfect peace,
whose mind is stayed on you,because he trusts in you, you
know.
So that's important Rely,you've got to rely on God.
There are times that you can'tdo it in and of yourself.
(27:31):
He wants you to depend on him.
God wants you to depend on him.
That's a desire he has.
And then make sure you measureyour progress.
You know, evaluate your growthin emotional intelligence
through maybe taking someself-assessments that are online
, getting feedback from otherpeople and praying and listening
to the Lord.
(27:52):
You know, emotional intelligenceit's not just a tool for
professional success.
It's a reflection, really, ofour commitment to trying to, I
guess, embody Christ's love inevery aspect of our lives and
it's a cornerstone of reallyimpactful and sustainable
(28:15):
leadership.
And when you intentionallydevelop emotional intelligence
in your life, you can lead withwisdom and compassion and
authenticity and you begin tocreate this real, lasting impact
on your organization and thepeople that you serve and the
people that you lead.
(28:36):
Lord, we thank you today forhelping us understand the
importance and the impact of anemotional intelligence and, lord
, we look to you, the author andfinisher of our faith, to help
us apply these principles inorder to become better leaders
in our businesses andorganizations, in our homes and
(28:57):
in our churches.
Lord, we thank you for helpingus have true success From your
perspective, oh God.
From your perspective.
We want to be successful and,lord, we thank you for this in
the name of Jesus.
Amen and amen.
Well, thank you for listeningto today's podcast about
emotional intelligence, and besure to click on the link at the
(29:19):
beginning of the description ofthis podcast and you can
actually text me your thoughtsif you have prayer needs or if
you have things you'd like tosee us cover and discuss.
Well, that's all the time wehave for today, but remember
Jesus is Lord and he wants youblessed.
Speaker 1 (29:39):
Thank you for tuning into this week's Christian
Business Concepts podcast.
Go tochristianbusinessconceptscom for
more information and resources.
Be sure to check out otherpodcasts that will help you take
your business and your personallife to a whole new level of
success.
Welcome to the Christian Business Concepts with
your host, harold Milby.
Christian Business Concepts isdedicated to guiding companies
and business owners in becomingeffective, efficient and
successful through God's Wordand godly principles.
Now, here's your host, haroldMilby.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
Thank you, kelly, and welcome everyone to this week's
Christian Business Conceptsweekly podcast.
You know this is Harold Milby,I'm your host and I'm so
thankful and very humbled foryou downloading and listening to
this podcast and others.
And you know, thousands havelistened to CBC and in many
(00:40):
countries around the world andhere in the United States, and
you know, every one of yourepresents CBC and the CBC
community and I'm just soappreciative of you being a part
and I just want to thank you aswe try each week to help you
(01:00):
apply biblical principles, youknow, to different business
topics that will help you findtrue godly success.
So our goal here is to reachover 1 million businesses and
organizational leaders and I'masking for your help in doing
that by sharing this podcastwith four or five others and
sharing the link to this podcastand each week's podcast on your
(01:24):
Facebook and your LinkedInpages and to try to encourage
others to listen.
Now, before we get into today'stopic, I'd like to give a big
shout out to Frankfurt, germany,for downloading so many
downloads.
Thank you, germany, and thanksto all of you all over the world
, including the United States,for being a part of this awesome
(01:46):
community.
I appreciate you all you know,as Christian business leaders,
our encompasses the spiritualand the emotional well-being of
(02:10):
ourselves and of other peoplethat we serve and that we lead.
And in order to do that, ittakes something called emotional
intelligence, and we can callit EI for short.
But emotional intelligence is acritical, critical component of
being an effective leader,particularly for those that are
(02:33):
seeking to model Christ-likebehavior.
And today I want to take a kindof a deeper dive.
You know I've talked aboutemotional intelligence before,
but I really want to take adeeper dive into emotional
intelligence in order to help usto understand its importance
and its possible effects.
(02:53):
So let me kind of give you alittle bit of history so we can
talk about where this wholeconcept came from.
So back in the early 20s iskind of where this root of
emotional intelligence can betraced to, and it goes back to a
man by the name of EdwardThorndyke and he was an American
(03:18):
psychologist and he introducedthis concept of social
intelligence in the 1920s and hedefined it as the ability to
understand and manage men andwomen, boys and girls to act
wisely in human relations.
Now you fast forward to 1983,and you have a man by the name
(03:42):
of Howard Gardner and he was adevelopmental psychologist and
he expanded the understanding ofthis EI in his book, and the
book was called Frames of Mind.
And in his book he explains thetheory of these multiple
intelligences and he proposedthat intelligence is not a
(04:04):
single entity but it includesother things like interpersonal
intelligence, which is theunderstanding of others, and
interpersonal intelligence,that's understanding oneself,
and these things align closelywith the components of emotional
intelligence.
(04:26):
You know, the term emotionalintelligence was first formally
introduced by a man by the nameof Peter Solovey, and he later
became the president of YaleUniversity.
It was him and a guy named JohnMeyer, a psychologist him and a
(04:48):
guy named John Meyer, apsychologist that they put
together an academic paper in1990 called Emotional
Intelligence, and they definedit as the ability to monitor
one's own and others' feelingsand emotions, to discriminate
among them and to use thisinformation to guide one's
thinking and actions.
And then, in 1995, there was abestseller that was written,
(05:10):
also by a psychologist and alsojournalist, by the name of
Daniel Goleman.
He wrote a book calledEmotional Intelligence why it
Can Matter More Than IQ, andGoleman just took and expanded
on Salovey and Mayer's work,framing emotional intelligence
(05:31):
as a critical skill.
He was the one that said thisis a critical skill for success
in leadership and in businessand he identified five key
components of emotionalintelligence, which are
self-awareness, self-regulation,motivation, empathy and social
(05:54):
skills In his book really kindof got the ball rolling.
It really sparked a widespreadinterest in applying emotional
intelligence to leadership, tocorporate culture, to
professional development, and sothat was kind of the book that
kind of set it out.
(06:15):
But the great thing about it isthat this isn't anything new
according to the Word of God andwe'll get into some of that,
but this is just somethingthat's based really a lot on the
Word of God and we'll get intosome of that, but this is just
something that's based really alot on the Word of God.
You know, the integration ofthis into leadership theory and
(06:36):
into practice really began totake hold in the early 2000s.
It was considered a soft skillthat most leaders needed to
learn.
There was research that wasdone by organizations like
Harvard Business Review and theytalked about showing leaders
how important it was to haveemotional intelligence and how
(07:00):
that in some of these researchit showed that the people with
high emotional intelligenceconsistently outperformed those
with lower emotionalintelligence.
So then there became trainingprograms and executive coaching
took place with EI and you knowthere was a lot of assessments
(07:21):
that were done to help leadersimprove and to improve their
decision making and theirconflict resolution, their
communication.
And so today here we are, inthe 21st century, you know, and
emotional intelligence remains areally important component of
leadership.
(07:42):
I don't think it's ever goingto go away.
Maine's a really importantcomponent of leadership.
I don't think it's ever goingto go away.
And especially when we talkabout navigating through
challenges like remote workteams and global teams and
diversity, you know rapid changeand uncertainty.
You know where you have to bereally adaptable, and tools like
(08:04):
EQ 2.0, that's emotionalquotient inventory they're used
for measuring and developingemotional intelligence and
leaders today.
So what I want to do is I wantto give you some examples
briefly here for people who haveemotional intelligence.
(08:25):
So Satya Nadella she's the CEOof Microsoft and she's a good
example of self-awareness, whichis part of this emotional
intelligence.
When Nadella became CEO, heacknowledged Microsoft's need to
(08:45):
move away from a culture ofkind of internal competition to
more of one, that's, one ofcollaboration.
You know.
He really recognized thecompany's flaws.
He set forth a real clearvision for this cultural
transformation, if you will.
He also exemplified empathy andit was very evident, I think,
(09:11):
in the efforts that he did tomake Microsoft a more inclusive
workspace or workplace.
You know his personalexperience of raising a child
with special needs.
It really kind of gave him agreater, more deeper
understanding of this diversityand he inspired a lot of company
(09:31):
policies that supportedemployees that had maybe some
unique challenges like they did.
And then you have Howard Schultz.
He was the founder and formerCEO of Starbucks, and Schultz
prioritized employee well-beingby introducing a lot of health
insurance for part-timeemployees and stock options.
(09:53):
You know he had this ability toconnect with the workforce and
this really fostered this strongsense of trust and loyalty.
So he was able to have empathyfor the employees.
But he also had resilience andmotivation, because Schultz's
commitment to Starbucks' missionof creating this welcoming
(10:18):
atmosphere really helped thecompany recover from financial
difficulties during the 2008recession.
And then, of course, anothergood example is Oprah Winfrey.
You know her self-awareness andempathy is shown through.
You know her ability really toconnect really deeply with her
(10:41):
audience.
You know she often shares ofher own personal struggles.
You know she was veryvulnerable, but you know,
because of that, she was able tobuild trust and she had really
great social skills, her abilityto really build these strong
relationships, and she fosteredcollaboration.
(11:02):
It's really been thecornerstone of her brand, if I
can say it that way, and itresulted in some really good
partnerships and opportunitiesthat really amplify her
influence.
And then you have Elon Musk,who's the CEO of Tesla and
SpaceX and X, and you know hereally showed a lot of
(11:24):
motivation and resilience.
You know Musk.
He's critiqued a lot of timesfor his intensity and his
relentless motivation andinspire.
His teams, though, have led tosome really groundbreaking
innovation innovation inmultiple industries.
He tried and practicedself-regulation.
(11:47):
He really showed growth inregulating his public
communication over time,particularly after he faced a
lot of backlash for someimpulsive comments that he made
on social media.
So he's learned from that, andthat's all we can ask.
And then there's Mary Barra,who's the CEO of General Motors.
(12:09):
She showed a lot of empathyduring the transformation time
with GM.
She led them through thesechanges, including introducing
electric vehicles andrestructuring the company,
including introducing electricvehicles and restructuring the
company.
She demonstrated this empathyby communicating very
(12:30):
transparently with employeesduring the layoffs and ensuring
that their concerns were goingto be addressed and she was very
approachable, verycollaborative in her leadership
style and again she fostered alot of trust and created a lot
of positive attitude.
And again, she fostered a lotof trust and created a lot of
positive attitude.
And then, of course, lastly,there's Jeff Weiner, who's the
former CEO of LinkedIn, verycompassionate leader.
(12:52):
He emphasized the importance ofcompassionate management.
That was something that I thinkhe coined the phrase of
compassionate management and heprioritizes understanding the
needs and the aspirations of histeam members and empowers them
in every way that he can to helpthem succeed.
He was very self-aware, he hadgreat social skills and he was
(13:15):
very focused on active listening, which really helped people and
helped him to create a verysupportive and high-performing
culture at LinkedIn.
So these are some examples ofpeople who had really high
emotional intelligence.
So what really is it?
(13:35):
How can I define emotionalintelligence?
Well, it's the ability torecognize.
It's the ability to recognize,understand, manage and influence
emotions in yourself and others.
David Caruso said Emotionalintelligence is not the triumph
of heart over head.
It is the unique intersectionof both, and that's what we've
(14:01):
always missed in leadership, andit really has these five
components that were talkedabout in some of the books that
I mentioned earlier.
It's got five key componentsself-awareness, which is
understanding your own emotions,your own strengths, your own
weaknesses, your own values andhow that they impact other
people.
And then there'sself-regulation that's the
(14:22):
second one other people and thenthere's self-regulation that's
the second one, and that's theability to control, maybe,
impulsive behaviors, to manageyour emotions in a healthy way
and to adapt to changingcircumstances without getting
out of control.
And the third is motivationthat's a deep drive.
It's a really deep drive topursue your goals with a lot of
(14:46):
energy, a lot of resilience anda lot of purpose.
And fourth is empathy, and thisis really the capacity to
really understand and share thefeelings of others, and then you
begin to foster these reallymeaningful connections.
(15:07):
And then, lastly, number fiveis social skills Social skills,
so having a proficiency inbuilding relationships and
communicating effectively andleading others towards a shared
vision.
Now, if you look at these fivecomponents the self-awareness,
(15:30):
self-regulation, motivation,empathy and social skills if you
really look at them, what youfind is you find all five of
these things throughout the Wordof God, from Genesis to
Revelation.
There's a lot that's talkedabout, even though it doesn't
use the words that these thingsare.
(15:50):
They don't use in the Bibleself-awareness, motivation,
empathy, social skills.
It doesn't mention those exactwords, but when we look at what
they mean, you find in the Wordof God in many, many, many
passages, that each one of thesethings are addressed repeatedly
because they're so important.
(16:11):
They're so important to us asleaders, but they're important
to us as individuals as well aswell.
So why does emotionalintelligence matter for
Christian leaders?
Well, the Bible emphasizes theimportance of wisdom and
compassion and understanding inleadership.
(16:33):
Proverbs 16.32 says Better apatient person than a warrior,
one with self-control than onethat can take a city.
Emotional intelligence, as Isaid, it just really aligns with
all of the virtues in the Wordof God that mentions these five
areas, and it enhances yourability.
(16:55):
Ei enhances your ability tobuild trust and rapport with
employees and with other leaders.
It helps you to navigateconflict with grace and humility
, which is important.
It'll help you to inspire andmotivate others through servant
(17:16):
leadership, which we've talkedabout, and it'll help you to
reflect Christ's love andcompassion in daily interactions
.
So what do we need to do todevelop emotional intelligence?
How can we do that?
Well, first of all, one of thefirst five components is
self-awareness, which meansyou've got to know yourself.
(17:38):
You know, know yourself, youknow.
Aristotle said one time knowingyourself is the beginning of
all wisdom, so it's important.
Proverbs 4.23 says keep yourheart with all diligence, for
from it flows the springs oflife.
Okay, it's important that weknow ourself, that we are
(17:59):
self-aware.
Psalms 139, 23 through 24 saysSearch me, o God, and know my
heart.
Try me, know my thoughts andsee if there have been any
grievous way in me, and lead mein the way of everlasting.
Proverbs 4 and 7 says thebeginning of wisdom is this get
wisdom and whatever you get, getinsight.
It's important for you to knowand be self-aware, and you do
(18:26):
that by spending time in prayer.
I'll encourage you to journal.
Write things down that you feellike the Lord's sharing with
you or you're discovering aboutyourself.
But journal these things.
Examine your emotions, examineyour actionsamine your emotions,
examine your actions, examineyour motivations those are so
important and then look forfeedback.
Encourage people in your circlethat you really trust maybe
(18:48):
mentors, close friends to giveyou honest feedback on your
behavior and your leadershipstyle.
And then make sure that youknow scriptures and you read
scriptures and that you canregularly compare your actions
and your attitudes to whatyou're reading in the Bible and
see if they line up All right.
(19:09):
The next thing is you've got topractice self-regulation,
self-regulation, right.
So Proverbs 16, 32 sayswhosoever is slow to anger is
better than the mighty, and hewho rules his spirit than he who
takes a city.
So that's important.
It's important that we regulateourselves, that we don't just
go off half-cocked or we don'tjust allow ourselves to go off
(19:31):
on the deep end or we don'tcontrol our thoughts, our anger.
I mean.
The Bible says be angry and sinnot.
So he understands that peoplecan get angry.
But that means you have tocontrol yourself, control your
actions.
James 1, 19 and 20 says knowthis, my beloved brothers let
every person be quick to hear,slow to speak, slow to anger,
for the anger of man does notproduce the righteousness of God
(19:54):
.
And then in Galatians 5, 22,23,.
We all know this passage.
But the fruit of the Spirit islove, joy, peace, patience,
kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control.
Against such things there is nolaw.
And so the fruit of the Spiritshould be a part of every
believer's life.
So that's one thing you cancompare yourself to on a regular
(20:16):
basis.
So you've got to practiceself-regulation.
The next thing empathy andunderstanding other people.
So you've got to pray, spendtime.
Again, you can never pray morethan you need to.
Let me just say that you canalways pray more.
You can always spend more timewith God.
(20:38):
It's never going to hurt.
What is that magic time thatyou should spend with God?
There is none.
That's something between youand Him, but you do need to
spend time with Him.
You know James 1.19 says youknow we read just a minute ago.
It says know this let everyperson be quick to hear, slow to
speak, slow to anger.
Again, it's just trying tounderstand other people and not
(21:02):
lash out to them.
You know the Bible says inProverbs 20 and 27, the spirit
of man is the lamp of the Lord,searching all his innermost
parts.
So it's important that you haveempathy, you know, and to do
this and understanding others.
You know, part of that is yougot to set some boundaries.
Set some boundaries.
(21:24):
You got to learn to say nosometimes to avoid, you know,
overcommitment or maybe evenavoid burnout.
You've got to have healthyhabits, you know.
You've got to make sure you getplenty of rest, get exercise,
have a balanced diet.
You get plenty of rest, getexercise, have a balanced diet
because that helps you tomaintain your emotional
(21:45):
stability.
The next thing you need to doagain that's needed is enhance
your motivation.
You know, be anchored in yourpurpose, really know your
purpose and align your goalswith your calling and God's plan
for your life.
You know, recognize and thisthing of motivation.
You got to be sure to recognizeand celebrate little wins in
(22:08):
your life, because what you wantto try to do is you've got to
maintain enthusiasm, you've gotto maintain perseverance, and so
when you celebrate the smallwins, it helps you to do that,
it helps you to stay motivated.
And so when you celebrate thesmall wins, it helps you to do
that.
It helps you to stay motivated.
You know you've got to staypositive.
You need to memorize andmeditate on scriptures that
encourage you to be resilient.
(22:30):
That encourages hope.
You know, like Philippians 4.13, that says I can do all things
through Christ, who strengthensme.
What a great passage.
There's times in my life wherethat is a passage that I read
and I say to myself every singleday, multiple times a day.
So it's important.
The next thing is you've got togrow your empathy.
Grow in empathy.
(22:51):
So to do that, you need topractice active listening.
You've got to focus on otherpeople when they speak.
Got to focus on other peoplewhen they speak, resist that
urge to interrupt them and torespond, maybe with a response
that really doesn't even addresswhat they've been talking about
.
Got to make sure you askquestions, show really genuine
(23:16):
interest and curiosity aboutthat other person, maybe about
their experiences or theirexperiences or their challenges
or their perspectives.
And then you've got to pray.
Pray for compassion, ask God tosoften your heart, deepen your
understanding of other people'sneeds.
So grow in empathy.
And then next, you've got tostrengthen your social skills.
(23:37):
So you want to encourage people, affirm them, give them those
words of encouragement regularly.
You know 1 Thessalonians, 5 and11 talks about that.
Then, in conflict resolution,you've got to learn how to
address these disagreementsconstructively, look for
(24:00):
reconciliation, look for mutualunderstanding and then lead by
example, demonstrate integrityand humility and demonstrate
kindness in all of yourinteractions.
I've known business leaders whoare just plain nasty all the
time.
They treat their peoplehorribly and it's the way they
(24:22):
talk to them, it's the way theylisten to them or like listening
to them, and so you need todemonstrate that, demonstrate
kindness in all yourinteractions.
Next is wise communication.
Stephen Covey said the biggestcommunication problem is we do
not listen to understand.
We listen to reply.
(24:44):
So we're just listening so wecan come up with a reply.
We need to listen to understandthat person.
You know, proverbs 15.1 says asoft answer turns away wrath,
but a harsh word stirs up anger.
What a great example ofcommunicating well.
(25:04):
You know, ephesians 4.29 sayslet no corrupt talk come out of
your mouths, but only such as isgood for building up as it fits
the occasion, that it may givegrace to those who hear.
Great passage, great passage,you know.
Ambrose Bierce said one timesaid speak when you're angry and
(25:26):
you will make the best speechyou will ever regret.
So be careful not to speak outof anger.
Allow yourself first to calmyourself and to get a hold of it
because, again, you want tocommunicate very wisely.
You know, colossians 4, 6 sayslet your speech always be
(25:47):
gracious, seasoned with salt, sothat you may know how you ought
to answer each person.
So all of these things as I'msharing with you, this whole
emotional intelligence thingthat supposedly just came on the
scene, really hasn't.
It's been in the Word of Godfrom the beginning, and so
hopefully these things arehelping.
(26:07):
The next thing is self-control,you know, and managing your
emotions.
Don't let your emotionsoverpower your intelligence.
You know who said that?
Morgan Freeman the actor.
Do not let your emotionsoverpower your intelligence.
Proverbs 25, 28,.
A man without self-control islike a city broken into and left
(26:29):
without walls.
We talked about Galatians 5 and22, 23, about the fruits of the
spirit.
Second Timothy 1 and 7 says forGod gave us a spirit not of
fear, but of power, love andself-control.
So we've got to learn tocontrol things like anger and
frustration.
We just read in Proverbs whereit says Whoever is slow to anger
(26:49):
has great understanding, but hewho has a hasty temper exalts
folly.
It's important that we're slowto anger.
In Ecclesiastes 7 and 9, itsays Be not quick in your spirit
to become angry, for angerlodges in the hearts of fools.
So very, very important that weunderstand that.
(27:11):
And then we need to rely, relyon God for your emotional
strength.
You know, isaiah 26 and 3 saysyou keep him in perfect peace,
whose mind is stayed on you,because he trusts in you, you
know.
So that's important Rely,you've got to rely on God.
There are times that you can'tdo it in and of yourself.
(27:31):
He wants you to depend on him.
God wants you to depend on him.
That's a desire he has.
And then make sure you measureyour progress.
You know, evaluate your growthin emotional intelligence
through maybe taking someself-assessments that are online
, getting feedback from otherpeople and praying and listening
to the Lord.
(27:52):
You know, emotional intelligenceit's not just a tool for
professional success.
It's a reflection, really, ofour commitment to trying to, I
guess, embody Christ's love inevery aspect of our lives and
it's a cornerstone of reallyimpactful and sustainable
(28:15):
leadership.
And when you intentionallydevelop emotional intelligence
in your life, you can lead withwisdom and compassion and
authenticity and you begin tocreate this real, lasting impact
on your organization and thepeople that you serve and the
people that you lead.
(28:36):
Lord, we thank you today forhelping us understand the
importance and the impact of anemotional intelligence and, lord
, we look to you, the author andfinisher of our faith, to help
us apply these principles inorder to become better leaders
in our businesses andorganizations, in our homes and
(28:57):
in our churches.
Lord, we thank you for helpingus have true success From your
perspective, oh God.
From your perspective.
We want to be successful and,lord, we thank you for this in
the name of Jesus.
Amen and amen.
Well, thank you for listeningto today's podcast about
emotional intelligence, and besure to click on the link at the
(29:19):
beginning of the description ofthis podcast and you can
actually text me your thoughtsif you have prayer needs or if
you have things you'd like tosee us cover and discuss.
Well, that's all the time wehave for today, but remember
Jesus is Lord and he wants youblessed.
Speaker 1 (29:39):
Thank you for tuning into this week's Christian
Business Concepts podcast.
Go tochristianbusinessconceptscom for
more information and resources.
Be sure to check out otherpodcasts that will help you take
your business and your personallife to a whole new level of
success.
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