A Whole New Way of Family // Building a Godly Family, Part 4

We parents try to do all the things we can to help our children to grow up. We advise. We admonish. We even end up preaching at them sometimes. But it’s not what we say, it’s what we do, how we live – what they see our life to be, that has the greatest impact in shaping them as they grow up.

 

A Godly Example

Well, this is the last message in a series that I have called, “Building a Godly Family” and what I’ve decided to do; I talked to a friend of mine in the U.S., his name is Mark. He has nine children of his own and I thought I’d ask him for his top three or four tips. Now if you want to find out what they are, stick with me today on the programme because we are going to explore what a father of nine had to say.

Now I don’t know how things are in your neck of the woods but one of the really hot topics around where I live is binge drinking amongst teenagers. I mean, blind Freddy can see that alcohol abuse is so incredibly destructive. I was listening to a doctor at the head of the Emergency Ward in our local hospital and he was saying that something like eighty percent of the young people under thirty, who get admitted to the Emergency Ward of the hospital on a weekend, are there because of alcohol related issues.

Now that’s amazing – violence, injury, illness – it’s pretty scary and it kind of begs the question: "How does that happen?" I mean how does a kid go from being this beautiful little baby to a drunken teenager in the gutter? And to combat this teenage binge drinking they have been running an ad on television – a bunch of Australian men in the back yard drinking beer and one of the dads send his young son to the fridge to get him another bottle of beer. And the punch line is about making the point that our children are taking in our habits. They’re watching us, they are taking it all in, they pick up things by what rubs off from us.

Do you know something? That kind of makes sense. Where there is drinking, child abuse, all those things are so negative, so destructive and yet this powerful imprinting thing happens to children in a family. And parents ... we as parents, we’re right up there; we are the authority figures and when a child is growing up the only reality that it has is the family that it’s living in. That’s all that child knows; you grow up in the family and that’s it. You don’t know any different whether it’s anger, violence, alcohol abuse, whatever it is, if that’s a powerful part of your reality growing up, it’s going to leave an imprint.

Now, our DNA determines who we naturally are but our personalities; our characters, our view of ourselves and others, our morals, our values, our patterns of behaviour – all of those things are hugely ... hugely shaped by our environment. God’s plan is for a loving family, not just a nuclear family, the way we are used to in the West, I guess but the wider family. If you have a Bible, I want you to grab it, open it up with me. We are going to the New Testament, the Book of Titus chapter 2, beginning at verse 2. This is what it says:

Tell the older men to be temperate, serious, prudent, and sound in faith, in love and endurance.

Likewise, tell the older women to be reverent in behaviour, not to be slanderers or slaves to drink; they are to teach what is good, so that they may encourage the younger women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be self controlled, chaste, good managers of the household, kind, being submissive to their husbands so that the word of God may not be discredited.

Likewise, urge the younger men to be self controlled. Show yourself in all respects a model of good works, and in your teaching show integrity, gravity and sound speech that cannot be censured; then any opponent will be put to shame, having nothing evil to say.

You see what’s happening here? Paul is writing to Titus and he’s saying, "Look, Titus, look, here’s how it is: older men should set an example; older women should set an example so that the younger men and the younger women will learn from the older ones, so that needs to be handed down from the older men and women to the younger men and women and then, from the younger men and women, to their children."

See, so much of our behaviour comes from the behaviour we learn from older people, both as children and as adults. That’s why mentorship is so important. You may have heard me talk about a man, Graham, my business partner for twenty years. Now Graham is about seventeen or eighteen years my senior and he taught me so many things – I watched his behaviour. He was good and descent and effective in so many ways and I learned from him. I became all that I am by watching him and learning from him, like ... like a life’s apprentice.

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