Is It Really That Important? // Building a Godly Family, Part 1

Of course, families are and always were, God’s idea. Yet so often these days, families seem to be, well, let’s be honest, just a tad dysfunctional. And as we each grapple with the realities of family life, all too often, we look around at all those apparently normal, balanced, near-perfect families out there and wonder to ourselves – what’s wrong with my family? What’s going on here?

 

The Dysfunctional Family

Well, here we are, a new week! And today we are going to start a discussion, you and I, about something completely different. Over these next few weeks on the programme we are going to be taking a look at what it means to build a godly family. I’ll tell you why.

Recently here at the ministry of Christianityworks we asked our friends and supporters to write in to us to share their prayer requests and here’s what struck me: at least eighty percent of the prayer requests we received – and there were a lot of them, I have to tell you – at least eighty percent were asking us to pray for people’s families: for my son or my wife, for my daughter, my husband, my auntie, my cousins. You know something? We actually care about our families. As difficult and as strife torn as many families are, blood is thicker than water and our families really do matter to us

And we don’t have to look very far, you know, in society to see todays families are becoming more and more dysfunctional. But here’s the thing: we kind of know that but somehow we imagine that, well, there’s this perfect family out there. In fact, the perfect family is the norm and the dysfunction we see in our own families, well, we are just the only ones.

"It’s my fault. I’ve botched it up. We’re just stuck with this – it’s the way it is. The teenagers who don’t respect their parents; the adults in our extended families who are having feuds and they haven’t talked to each other for ages because they argued over distributing the assets of their parents when they died eight years ago. No, you see, it’s just my family that’s a mess. And that’s the thing, it’s what I’ve been handed; it’s the hand I’ve been dealt and there’s just nothing I can do about it – there’s just nothing. What’s the point?"

It’s true, isn’t? Living out families is sometimes like living out a gorilla war. It’s so in your face; every time you come home; every time you walk in the door – the whole "family thing" greets you. Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not suggesting that every family is a basket-case – hopefully yours isn’t but sometimes we are so close to it all, it kind of feels like it is a basket-case. We get it out of perspective.

And in the middle of this constant relational tension you can get to feeling like, "Aw, God, what’s going on here? Why can’t I have a normal family like everybody else – like those people next door?" And let me tell you, I’m not talking about this whole "family thing" from some perfect place, I can tell you.

Before I gave my life over to Jesus a decade and a half ago, I’ve got to tell you I made some huge blunders that changed the very course of my life and I am still far from perfect. But since that time God’s been teaching me a new way – I’m still learning.

So I’m at a certain place in my journey and you are at a certain place in your journey and let’s get over this comparing and judging, "Other people have better families than me." There’s only one issue: "Where do we go from here?" And I for one, I am about building a godly family because there is such reward in that; such harvest and not just one day in the future but along the way, here and now – the joy of investing and sacrificing to make a difference in the lives of those whom we love.

We will talk about that over the coming weeks but today I just want to give us some comfort that God knows all about dysfunctional families. You can take the very first human family, if you like – Adam and Eve – and their two sons Cain and Abel. You probably know the story of Adam and Eve – you know, the Garden of Eden, then they sinned; they ate the apple and God kicked them out and they had a couple of sons.

But I want to show you something about this family – the interactions between the people – that’s a real stark reminder about the dysfunction in family. You often hear people talking about Adam and Eve and the snake and all that stuff from a theological perspective – and that’s great – but what about from a family perspective? Okay, Adam and Eve, they’ve sinned; they ate from that one tree that God told them not to. God comes looking for them – they are hiding in the garden. I have always thought that was incredibly smart to be hiding from God! And God brings Adam to account:

He says to Adam, “Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten from the tree of which I commanded you not to eat?” And the man said, “Th