July 18, 2025 • 54 mins
Welcome to Chronically The Sickest - the sickest podcast you know.
On today’s episode I’m joined by joyful spirit, Ashlyn.
We get into infertility struggles, heart surgery and how to prioritize rest.
Follow Ashlyn on Instagram @ashwilcoxx
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Feel free to shoot me a DM if you have any questions or if you just want to chat. I’m wishing you a low pain day. ‘Catch you next week!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:04):
Hello folks, and welcome to Chronically the Sickest, the
podcast where we talk about all things that make us chronically
the sickest people we know. I'm Clark, your host.
It's nice to chat with you this week.
Join us as we dive into the episode, sit back, relax, and
enjoy the show. Ashlyn, welcome to Chronically
(00:33):
the Sickest podcast. I'm so excited to have you.
Me too. Thank you so much for having me
Clark. This is super exciting.
We are already having so much fun before we started recording,
so of course this is going to bea good episode.
But for the listeners at home who may not know who you are,
can you tell me a little bit about yourself?
Yeah, my name is Ashlyn. I'm 29, living in the Dallas, TX
(00:59):
area and you know, just doing mybest to stay happy and alive.
OK, that's very relatable. What do you do like for fun, for
hobbies? Like is Arlie you like a reader?
Do you play sports? Oh, obsessed with reading, super
competitive. So I do love a good like board
(01:20):
game night. If there is Monopoly, it will
end in screaming. And I also just right now I'm
working at our church and I lovewhat I do.
I've got a lot of really cool friends there.
We actually just played like a an among us in real life game.
So we like to do a lot of reallykooky, fun things.
(01:44):
And yeah, I've got a really awesome husband who's upstairs
playing video games that we can record and two really adorable
dogs that are under foot right now.
Oh. My gosh, what kind of dogs?
I have a Cane Corsa, so she's a mastiff, her name is Peach.
And then we have a Goldendoodle named Max Very uncanny
(02:07):
partnership, but they are besties for the resties, so we
love it. Oh my goodness, that's like too
cute. Oh my gosh.
Yeah, we love, we love these guys so much.
Of course, they're way more spoiled than any dog should be,
but it's OK, We're here for it. I mean I just imagine every day
(02:28):
like being a pet must just be living the dream you.
Know Oh my gosh, yes, they're onthe couch like just chilling.
They just get to do whatever they want to do all day.
They get snacks. They also don't really have to
exercise much and they love it. They live their absolute best
life in our home. We are just the guests,
(02:49):
honestly. Yes, this is true.
You go to work solely to make money for.
Their country, yes 100% and we love it.
We wouldn't want it any other way.
Of course. No, that is way too relatable.
OK, wow, you just saying you're like, yes, I like reading.
(03:09):
I'm competitive at board games. I am a dog mom through and
through. I feel like the listeners are
going to love you. OK, so I have to ask the big
question. What do you think makes you
chronically the sickest person you know?
I think what makes me chronically the sickest person I
know is that I do everything with a full heart, but my
(03:32):
regular schmegular heart is onlyhalf functioning.
We love it. That is the best answer.
Oh my gosh, that is one of the best answers I've gotten so far.
Thank you. I'm a little witty every once in
a while, you know, just throw out a good one.
Hey I have a whole podcast called Chronically the Sickest.
(03:54):
OK, I love my. Pun.
I was like, this is amazing. I said please like whatever I
have to do. Like when I commented I was like
please pick me, please pick me, please pick me.
I was like, I can't imagine thisnot being fun.
Oh, oh, good. OK, well, that kind of is the
perfect segue. Tell me about what we're going
(04:14):
to be talking about today. Yeah.
So we are going to be talking about congenital heart disease,
specifically transposition of the great arteries.
It's a very long, long, long situation here.
But basically what it is, is just a congenital defect.
(04:35):
And my aorta and my pulmonary artery, their functions were
switched when I was born. So they had to essentially shunt
off like half of my heart through a procedure called the
Fontan procedure and switch those functions back.
(04:57):
Multiple open heart surgeries asa baby and now basically my
oxygenated blood flows straight through my lungs versus going
through all four chambers of my heart because my heart just
could not process that. It's very interesting.
Came out blue. My mom said it was extremely
(05:18):
scary for her. I was her first baby and she
said she gave birth. They said it's a girl and there
was just a lot of shuffling thathappened and by the time she had
heard anything about me having congenital heart disease and
going through things, they basically told her she came out
in blue, but she's going to be OK.
(05:39):
Also, she's no longer in this hospital.
She is on a helicopter. Oh my.
Gosh, on her way to Stanford. And so, you know, I was just a
little baby bean. So I don't remember any of this,
but I can only imagine now, likehow crazy it is to give birth.
And they're like, yeah, you'll see her eventually, but like,
(06:00):
she's going in for a a surgery. And yeah, they went in and they
did the Fontan procedure. And I mean, they told my mom
initially that it was still a little bit experimental and, you
know, not to have the highest ofhopes for me for the rest of my
(06:21):
life as far as being an active child.
And also, like, you know, life expectancy is kind of up in the
air. It's kind of like a touch and go
situation. We kind of wait and see and
monitor and hope that later downthe line after three open heart
surgeries, that she'll be good to go.
(06:44):
And yeah, I mean, it's just one of those things where as a kid,
I was like, oh, yeah, I've got this heart thing and I have a
scar. But as an adult, hearing those
things and, like, really grasping, like, what that meant
for my mom at 20 and like, my family, I was like, oh, wow,
(07:05):
this is like, this is like a real serious situation here.
But, you know, as a kid, it's always just been like, a fun
fact. I mean, even as an adult, it'll
be like, oh, yeah, only half my heart really functions.
And they're like, oh, that's notnormal, girl, are you OK?
Like, it's fine, but yeah, most of my blood flow, my oxygenated
(07:29):
blood flow, it's essentially gravity based.
And what pushes my blood back upthrough my lungs is the muscles
in my legs. Oh my gosh.
It's a lot. It's a lot, yeah.
I mean, it's something that I'vehad to learn like myself because
(07:51):
I wasn't old enough to understand.
So the older I've gotten, the more I've asked questions of
like, wait, is it actually my leg muscles?
Or like, is that just like, do we just like say that?
Or is it like in my cardiologist, it's like, yes,
girl, you need to make sure you're like working your legs so
that you can essentially stay alive.
(08:13):
And I'm like, cool, no pressure.I was going to say, does this
mean that leg day is like every day for you or like you have to
make it leg day? You know what it should be She
we just talked about this. I had an appointment a few weeks
ago and I was like, so should I be like pumping iron like crazy?
And she was like, OK, well, don't, don't go too far.
(08:33):
She was like, get on a stationary bike, which is just a
piece of our home. We've had one for forever
because of this. And like, she's like, the
biggest thing is, like, walking up and down stairs and making
sure that, like, when you're on your stationary bike, you use
just a little bit of resistance so that those leg muscles are
(08:55):
never getting to a point. Like, you know, just do your
best not to be extremely sedentary.
So. Yeah, it's very, very
interesting stuff. My biggest concern as a kid was
at about like, I think 10. I thought, Oh my gosh, my blood
flows by gravity. And then I was like, wait, does
(09:16):
this mean I could never go to outer space?
And my cardiologist was like, correct, you can never.
And I was like, this is this is lame.
I don't want a whole new thing. Get me a new system.
Like, yeah, like that was honestly as a kid I didn't have
like, you know, you, your child,you think of things a lot
(09:37):
differently. I used to tell kids like, and
it's true, but I used to tell kids at school like, you can't
hit me in my chest too hard because if you do, you'll kill
me and I'll like, and my mom waslike, you're not going to die.
It's just like a like, no, you it shouldn't happen repeatedly,
but like, they're not going to kill you.
And I was like, well, I don't know.
It freaks them out. I like saying it.
(09:57):
So I'm going to stick with, but yeah, life is pretty.
It's pretty fun over here on theheart stuff.
I actually have my I have a heart monitor on right now.
Oh. How fun.
Yeah, it's extremely itchy. I'm very much ready for it to be
over. But she's right there, living
her best life. How fun.
(10:19):
OK, audio listeners, if you wantto switch over to video, you get
to see a. Fun little heart monitor.
Oh yeah, see, just a little. That's cute too.
Lead. Yours is black.
Mine is black. I don't love this one I've had.
I mean, I've done this for thirtyish years now.
(10:39):
This is not my favorite. It's A2 lead monitor.
And yeah, but we've come a long way.
They used to be, I think it was 8 leads and the monitor.
I have no idea where that came from but that's fine.
Alright, thumbs up to that. Thumbs up to that.
(10:59):
Yeah. They used to be 8 lead and the
monitors were big enough to where you actually had to hold
them in a backpack. Like they're cute.
So my mom bought me like really cute, like Winnie the Pooh and
like Cinderella. Like I had all these little
backpacks for like my every six month heart monitor week where
I'd just like lug around this a mass of cords just like cute
(11:22):
little. Yeah.
So this is we're very much improved here, but it's just a
little bit annoying. I'm sure.
I mean, it's annoying now, just like you said, it's it's itchy
and sticky and you like can't shower for too long.
But I can't imagine carrying around in a backpack that's
worse. Yeah.
(11:43):
Yeah, I told my husband I was like, because he was like, man,
that really sucks. And I was like, it used to suck
more. And I told him about the
backpack thing and the fact that, like, the technology has
just been better. And I'm grateful, OK?
So you kind of said like, it's it's great that things have
progressed to a point where things are slightly easier.
(12:03):
Yeah. Are there other things like, I
know you said like you've had a couple surgeries, like when was
your last heart surgery? I'm like, do you feel like
you're at a place now where you are kind of living essentially
normally? Yeah.
So my last open heart surgery, Iwas 2.
OK. I went through like a
(12:26):
depression. I wouldn't talk to anybody,
which is apparently very normal for people with congenital heart
disease, is that we are at higher risk for depression and
anxiety. And then I had a what's called a
Cath procedure in fifth grade. I had fluid around my heart and
(12:48):
so they had to go and put a catheter through the main artery
in my leg to remove the fluid around there.
It was super scary. I will say like my 5th grade
class was very sweet. They all made me get Well soon
cards, and I still have them allthese years later because it was
(13:13):
just so sweet to be able to, like, sit in my little hospital
bed and, like, read all my little cards.
And yeah, I mean, really, right now on with the track that I'm
on, you know, they kind of tell you, like, your heart's a
muscle. And as long as you're kind of
sticking with what you should bedoing, like healthy eating,
(13:35):
which I do struggle with sometimes, not drinking a lot of
caffeine, which is also something I struggle with
because I'm tired a lot. I really shouldn't have to have
any major surgeries. If I did have a moment in like
(13:56):
my early 20s where I was just having these random like dizzy
spells to the point where like I'd have to pull over while
driving or I'd have to stop whatever I was doing.
And so I was on a like high doseblood thinner called lisinopril.
And they told me basically, likeif we take you off of this and
(14:19):
you're still having these dizzy spells, we may have to consider
a pacemaker. So luckily enough for me, I got
off of the lisinopril. They put me back on low dose
aspirin and I've been fine. The only real major thing would
(14:40):
be at some point I may still need a pacemaker just because my
heart essentially works double time because it is working at
half the capacity. So yeah.
That makes sense. I guess like you said, yeah,
it's a muscle. So at some point it's it's it's
doing too much. Yeah, yeah.
Like, you know, it's, it's interesting because it's like,
(15:01):
wow, it's so cool. The heart can do so much.
But then it's also like, that's a lot, you know, like just like
any other thing, you don't want to fatigue something so
important. So.
Yeah. Yeah, Oh my goodness.
Yeah, it's, it's a much better prognosis than when I was
(15:23):
younger. When I was, I don't know, maybe
8 or 9. The way that technology was back
then, it was kind of like, oh, by the time she's in her 30s,
she'll need a full heart transplant.
And so for the longest time, I was preparing myself for like,
at some point I'm going to have to go through getting myself on
(15:43):
a transplant list and doing the transplant and then taking all
the meds that comes with it. But I turned 30 this year, and
that conversation has been very far away from what the
conversations are now. So that's been really nice.
That's really good. That's nice, especially with
what you said at the beginning, like the like life expectancy of
(16:09):
someone with congenital heart disease.
Was. Scary like I can't even imagine
for your mom like you said to give birth and not even oh your
babies in the NICU. It's going to be a couple weeks
before you. Can see that.
But like quite literally, your child was life flighted and is
currently in a different part oflike the state, the country
(16:30):
like. You.
You just wait here and you're like, what now?
Yeah, Like what? What are you saying?
Yeah. And they're like, hopefully, and
I think too, like they told her like, yeah, you know, this
procedure is like partially experimental.
And she's like, great, awesome. So excited for that.
You're like, you're not giving me a lot of confidence right
now. Yeah, yeah.
(16:51):
Oh my goodness, man. Yeah.
But shout out to Stanford. They're the best.
They saved my little life and they became such an integral
part of our life that my mom actually worked at Stanford for
about eight years in pediatric cardiology.
Oh my gosh. Yeah, Yeah.
(17:13):
She did pediatric cardiology fora while and then transferred to
cardiothoracic surgery and she was a clinical coordinator there
just because, I mean, it was just something that she ended up
growing passion for. You have to learn all these big
words and all these phrases and know things that you never would
(17:34):
have thought you'd have to know.And so, yeah, she was like,
well, I'm going to go to school and become a medical assistant.
And then she just took it all the way through by her masters.
And, yeah, so, you know, I was my mom's inspiration.
No big deal. Oh my gosh, you're so inspiring.
I know I love it. That's amazing though.
(17:56):
I mean that is great for your mom.
Like to turn it around and just be like, you know what, like
I've gone through this and I want to help other people who
are going through this. But then also for you, like, I'm
so glad that you are now on a track where it's just like the
worst that's going to happen is that like you get a pacemaker
(18:21):
versus having to get a whole heart transplant.
Because you're right, that is like even in your 20s and 30s,
like that's scary. But as a kid to be like your
heart is just, you're going to need a new one at some point and
being like cool, cool, cool, cool.
Yeah, and nobody's ever sugar coated it with me, which like, I
(18:44):
appreciate now, but like, sometimes I'm like, OK, guys, I
was like a child. Like maybe we should have just a
couple of little things. We should have said, hey, you
know, she is 10. So the way we talk about this
should be a little bit more guarded.
But no, they were very much justlike, I mean, shout out to all
(19:05):
the male cardiologists out there.
I think it's really it's probably mostly a guy thing that
they're just like, why, Why keepher from knowing the truth?
We'll just tell it to her like they're like, oh, it to me
straight. So we're.
Going to put this thing through your arteries, which is the
thing that controls your life and your blood and you're like,
OK, I'm. Telling yeah, literally, like I
(19:28):
am a baby, but lay it on me. Sure, tell me all the things.
Sure, I fully understand the words you're saying and the
implications on my life. Yeah, 100%.
I I get it. I get it now.
Potsies, listen up. We both know that precinctopy
sucks. Fainting to passing out when
(19:51):
you're alone though, that is 2 thumbs down.
It's so nerve wracking like whatif I pass out and hit my head or
I start getting dizzy while I'm driving Am I gonna be safe or
just in general am I gonna be safe as a disabled woman?
That anxiety, that is what gets you.
(20:12):
But I don't have that anymore. Well I do have anxiety.
I am an OCD girly but. Not about passing out or my
safety because I just click my Invisi Wear necklace and both my
family and emergency personnel are alerted.
The dizzies are scary no matter how many times it happens.
(20:33):
But knowing that I have a backupplan is what makes me feel a
little bit better, so maybe that'll help you too.
Using code sickest for 10% off on your Invisi Wear purchase at
the link in your description is an option.
Sending you salty vibes. Okie dokie.
Anyway, yeah, Oh my goodness yeah.
(20:58):
Looking back, I mean, just hearing your story is kind of
crazy, but I can't imagine, yeah, looking back on that
experience and kind of processing as you get older.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's been, it's been
interesting. It's been very fun.
OK. Can I ask perhaps a personal
question, are you planning on having kids and like is this
(21:20):
something that is like genetic that can get?
Past. So yes, it is something that's
genetic. When I was born, they thought it
was an anomaly. We've learned that my condition
is an anomaly. However, congenital heart
(21:41):
disease in general does run in our family.
I have younger cousins now. One was born with a heart murmur
and I was born with two. So that was super scary.
And then one of my other youngercousins actually used to play
football and he had his very first like atrial episode on the
(22:04):
football field in high school and he had to have a non
invasive surgery. And it was one of those things
where for the longest time it was like, gosh, Ashlyn's just
this like anomaly, like she was just Born This Way.
It's really weird how the genes just worked out that way.
And now we've looked at our family tree and we're like, oh,
(22:25):
shoot, like they're we're pointing now to people on my
mom's side that are also having what seems like more congenital
issues. We've tried to have children,
but with my heart being at 50% capacity, she's not very good at
(22:46):
keeping two things alive at one time.
So we have, we tried and I, I just decided, I mean, we've,
we've been pregnant multiple times.
Like it was very much a my mom kind of instilled in me that
like even when doctors said I couldn't do certain things,
(23:08):
she'd be like, let's give it a go.
Let's just see like in a controlled space, obviously,
let's just give it a try. They say you'll never be able to
play sports. I did competitive cheer for a
couple of years. Like it was just one of those
things where my mom was like, you just have to learn your
limits. So I had to learn that very
early and then just know then. And so I was like, cool, They
(23:32):
all of my male cardiologist fromwhen I was a baby were like,
you'll never be able to have kids.
Don't even try it. It's not worth the risk.
My cardiologist now, she's a woman.
And she sat me down and told me,look, I'm not going to lie to
you and say that it's going to be amazing and it's just going
to happen for you. But what she told me was, as a
(23:55):
woman who has had my own children, I can't sit across
from you and tell you, like, Nah, don't do it.
So she was like, we're going to give it a good college try.
And if it works, it works. And if it doesn't, you know,
like, we just kind of decided what the line was on, like when
(24:16):
we would kind of hang it up. And so my first two pregnancies
were very early losses. And then my third pregnancy, I
actually made it to believe like19 weeks and I had what's called
a subchorionic hematoma, which is just like a major blood clot
(24:41):
within the uterus just chilling in there with the baby.
And we don't know if it's like like, we'll, we'll unfortunately
like never know. I mean, there's no testing we
could do. But we don't know if it's that
the hematoma that too big or that there was already fetal
(25:02):
demise. But I went into, like,
spontaneous labor. And that was the point where my
husband and I said, yeah, you know, what Is this?
Is this really worth it? And we said no.
And my husband, my sweet, beautiful Angel child of a
husband, was supposed to get a vasectomy, and he postponed it
(25:23):
for a while. And so we got pregnant again.
And we were like, OK, we'll see where this takes us.
And it was, it was kind of funnybecause we're sitting at our
anniversary dinner. My husband just had his
vasectomy like four or five daysago.
And I'm like, I don't know, man.I haven't been feeling good.
(25:46):
Like, I've just been feeling kind of awe.
And he's like, you think you could be pregnant?
And we both started laughing andwe were like, there's no way.
And he was like, how funny wouldit be if you were?
I was. Oh.
And so we were like, well, we'llgo all in, you know, like we'll
(26:06):
do what we can do and see where this takes us.
I took, I mean, I'd already doneinfertility treatments and
stuff. And so my maternal fetal
medicine doctor told me that we would basically just throw the
kitchen sink at it and see if itsticks.
And I was totally down to do that.
So I was taking, I don't even remember the name of the
(26:29):
medication anymore, but a blood thinner injection every day.
Our hope was just that if we could keep my blood thin enough,
my heart could work hard enough to keep circulation to both.
And then yeah, we ended up having a loss again.
And because of the thinners, I had to have multiple blood
(26:51):
transfusions. I lost, yeah, I lost a good
amount. I had three blood transfusions
within like my 8 hour stint, 10 hour stint at the hospital.
And I think what was nice about it, as bad as that sounds, maybe
is like, for us, for me, for my husband, for our family, Like we
(27:17):
all know that I gave it my all and, like, did my best to, like,
do this. And so like, I never will regret
it. And we had some very scary
moments for sure. But I'm super grateful that I
gave it like a try and that I didn't take no for an answer.
(27:39):
So yeah. Right, you did.
Like I did say that is yeah, yeah.
And like I did, I was very much aware of my, like, trust me,
when you're at the hospital and they're like, we have to do
blood transfusions, you go, yeah, I think this is my limit.
Like, pretty sure we just reached it, maybe surpass it a
little bit. Now, I'm going to lie to you,
(28:00):
maybe a little bit reckless, butI'm just very grateful that,
like, we did it. We tried it.
And I can say with confidence I do not want biological children.
And I wouldn't have been able todo that without having tried.
So. Yeah.
Right, finding out your your limit and.
(28:22):
Yeah, would not suggest it, by the way, ever.
Like, don't, don't do that, girl.
Just listen to your doctors apparently.
Like, they know things all thoseyears of medical school or
whatever, but yeah. Weird they actually know what
they're doing or talking about, but.
I know, so strange. Well, first of all, I mean, I'm,
(28:44):
I'm sure you heard this, but I'msorry, 'cause that's so
frustrating to have to go through, especially multiple
times and just like every time being like good old college try.
We're going to try like we're going to, we're going to do
everything possible but. Yeah.
Not to be in a place of like. Yeah.
(29:04):
OK, like this is what my life looks like.
And yeah, also like, it's 2025. Like, you don't have to have
biological children. You can adopt.
You could have no children at all.
Right now you're a dog mom, which is just as cool.
Honestly, I mean, I think we'd be really, really pissed if we
had had one. Anyway, we've been like, oh
(29:26):
dude, what about us, your first born children?
Like, hello. But yeah, thank you.
Thank you for the condolences. But yeah, it's just been, like
you said, it's 2025. There's like science is really
cool. There's a million things going
on. I have a friend who had an A
baby through embryo adoption. Like the the opportunities for
(29:52):
growing our families are endless.
They really are. So yeah, it's been good.
Yeah, I oh, you're good there. You.
Go. Sorry, I think I lost you for a
second. No, you're good.
It was like, hey, Ashwin's recording stopped and I was
like, why? It's it's because why wouldn't
(30:16):
it, Clark? That's just where we are in life
right now. Oh my gosh, I wow, what a what a
day. What a day.
It's only been an hour. Thank you truly though, like
thank you for sharing that experience because not only is
(30:37):
congenital heart disease obviously is not something
everyone has and maybe isn't something everyone knows about,
but I think a lot of people relate to the experience of
trying really hard to start a family.
And especially when you have a chronic illness, just being
like, I threw everything at it and I tried my best and
(30:57):
sometimes it works and sometimesit doesn't.
Like I like I currently have a, a voluntary hysterectomy.
So it's like. OK.
I like, it's just really interesting to hear other
people's experiences. Yeah, absolutely.
And like you said, like it's really not the end of the world.
(31:19):
For a while, actually before I even got married and I was told
that it would be really difficult, I'd initially said
that I never even wanted to try.I I was on the same train as
you. I was like, voluntary
hysterectomy, please. I'm so good.
I don't need the whole kit and caboodle.
(31:40):
I don't want periods anymore. Like I just leave me alone.
And then they told me that that's too invasive of a surgery
with my heart condition. And they were like, sorry, love,
you get to keep that one. And I was like, OK, cute, great,
great, great. And yeah, I mean, it was
something that like, I think toowith chronic illness and just
(32:03):
like in general, like it's weirdto say, but like peer pressure,
right? It's like you're in these
circles and everybody else is inone way or another typical
physically, right? And so you're watching all these
people without your condition oryour disability and you kind of
(32:26):
start to think like, well, I kind of want to do that or I
kind of want a piece of that. Like, you know, my friend
started having babies and I was like, well, I used to nanny, but
I know it's not the same as likehaving a child.
And so it did make me think like, well, I kind of want a
piece of that pie. Like I kind of want to be able
to relate in those ways. And I think it's just because we
(32:49):
do, we grow up and we're kind ofit.
It's, it's hard to find people that like, come on, like, oh,
yeah, you got anybody in here with a congenital heart disease?
No, OK. No, Like, can anybody else
relate to if you stand up too fast, you get dizzy?
Like, you know, it's super average apparently.
So I've been told. And so, yeah, I think honestly,
(33:14):
it was just like, I wanted to assimilate.
Like I wanted to be a part of like the crowd.
I wanted to do what all the other physically typical people
were doing. And like I said, I mean, I'm
grateful. And they never made me feel like
I can say I have a lot of supportive friends.
Like, they've always been there for us.
And like, they're here for whatever we decide to do.
(33:36):
If we decide we want to start analpaca farm, Like my friends
would be like, that's the coolest thing ever.
Yes, girl, go for it. We'll visit with our kids.
So, you know, it's not that. It's just like, I think we put
expectations on ourselves to present as more typical than we
(33:58):
are. And it's just something I've had
to learn, especially getting older.
So yeah. Yeah, that is a really good
point to bring up, Like the the peer pressure, the almost
natural progression of things. And life is like, OK, like your
(34:20):
friends are now engaged and yourfriends are now married and now
all of your friends have kids and they're doing all these
things. And sometimes your life is not
typical. And so you are a little stuck.
Like I think I did a whole, I did a whole episode on like just
(34:40):
the weird feelings when your friends are in that stage of
life and you're sitting there and you're just like, yes, they
are so supportive and yes, they are my friends, but you're like
almost finally seeing like the disparity.
Yes. Between what they're living and
what you're living, I think specifically with like,
(35:02):
pregnancy and having kids, yeah.So yeah, absolutely.
I mean, we were before I startedworking at our church.
We've just, we've been involved for a long time and we were in a
life group, which was just, it was called Young Married
Couples. And it was so fun.
It was so cool. We saw each other every Monday.
(35:25):
We'd go play pickleball togetherand like we'd do Bible studies
every other week and do potlucks.
And it was like at the beginningwhen we started, I just had my
first miscarriage and everybody else had just started trying to
have kids. And so we were all still on the
same playing field. And then one person had a kid
(35:45):
and it was like, OK, cool. She's now our group baby.
That's we can do, you know, like, that's fine.
And then more, you know, like itstarted to feel like, gosh,
everyone's pregnant, everyone's having kids.
And like, it's great for them, blessing for them.
Their kids are super cute. I love babies.
(36:06):
I am like super auntie, if you ever need me to babysit, I'm
down. But like we just saw them.
So we stopped going because it was like we don't our lives are
no longer where everybody else'sare.
And I just recently saw them because we did like a child
dedication and I worked the event and it was super sweet and
(36:30):
I was like, wow, Nat, like thereused to be 0 babies in this
group and now there are like 8. And that's super awesome.
But I also like taking pictures with them was like, I can
totally like, I cannot relate toanything that they're going
through at this point. And it used to make me sad and
now it's just like, it is what it is.
(36:51):
It's a part of our life. And like I'm happy to be in a
good place physically, mentally,emotionally, spiritually.
And so I really do. I just try to focus on those
things. And honestly, every once in a
while, as much as we want children, my husband and I will
(37:11):
hear a kid screaming on like an airplane or something and we
just look at each other and we go, wow, that could be us right
now. And it's not.
And it's just, it's just one of those things where it's like we
get to just like sleep in or take naps or like today we woke
(37:32):
up at like 9:30 and then we werelike, let's go to Costco.
We didn't have to like prepare anyone.
No diaper bags, no anything likeand I'm not going to lie, it's
not the worst. I like that.
I like hearing that. OK, first of all, it's like
(37:53):
almost uncanny to hear you say all that.
I might cut this but I I'm in a life group right now.
Everyone just started trying to have kids.
One of them just had their kid and we currently are at the
stage where it is the group babyand we meet on Monday nights.
(38:13):
Oh my God. Oh my God, Clark, are you
kidding? Not us living the same life he
was saying that. I was like, I was like, oh, life
group, I get that. And then you kept going and I
was like. Oh my God, you're living my
life. Not God.
Just having a moment with you right now while I'm just
blabbing. Well, I mean, it's kind of,
well, I almost needed to hear that.
(38:34):
Like at some point it like the sadness of it kind of goes away
or not goes away. But like it, it morphs into
something like different and newer.
And like you kind of talk about you're like, I get to go to
Costco and I don't have to get anyone ready is like such a gift
that not everyone gets. It really is.
(38:54):
It really is. And like, man, we had one, one
of the babies in the group who like every time we saw his
parents, we'd be like, how are you guys?
They'd be like exhausted. He's still not sleeping.
And we'd be like, that freaking sucks.
And like, I think what's really cool about it is it does morph.
And I think like the joy that I get now is not oh wow, I get to
(39:17):
have babies with these people. It is wow.
I get to help these people with their babies and like to know
that like our who was our group baby Eden, she's now just like
the senior child. She loves me and like I love
her. She sees me, she runs up to me,
she gives me a hug if she knows that I'm coming over.
(39:40):
She wants to put on a pretty dress so that I can tell her how
beautiful she is. She's a diva.
We love her and it's just so cool that I get to be a part of
their lives in a different way. And I think for the parents to
like, it's hard to ask your friend with a big baby the same
(40:01):
age as yours, like, hey, girl, you think you can be same?
I know you haven't slept in fourdays and neither have I, but
wouldn't it be fun if you took mine so I could take a nap?
Like, you know, So to be the friend that like, is always
down, they'll be like, yeah, sure.
And like, I work at our church and I work in kids ministry.
So like, I'm like, drop them off.
(40:21):
Drop them off at the church. We've got people that'll hold
babies that are cute like. We're more than happy to have
y'all or drop them off at my house or I'll come over and
bring snacks and wine. It it's it's cool.
It it morphs and and it's a good, it's a good morph for
(40:42):
sure. Yeah, thank you for sharing
that. Like first of all, yeah, what a
what a weird experience to have that be so similar.
But yeah, I think that'll also help the listeners to kind of
hear that after going through probably a really similar
experience to yours, being like at some point you really do get
(41:05):
to be that awesome person in your friends lives and get joy
from other things. Yeah.
So. Yeah, thank you.
I OK, I want to pick your brain.What other tips and tricks like
do you have for perhaps people who also have heart conditions
(41:26):
or I mean in the similar vein oflike fertility, like tell me,
tell me what you got. What wisdom do you have?
This is your friendly reminder that you are listening to this
for free, learning about chronicillness, mental health and other
important topics for free. But this does cost time and
(41:48):
money to make, and you could be getting a lot more.
Click the Patreon link in the description to get access to
video episodes, free merch, and bonus interviews where we may
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And did I mention that there's no ads?
Not only do you get these very cool things, but you can also
(42:10):
support the pod because like I said, you're listening for free.
Give me a dollar and I will giveyou lots of cool stuff in
return. That's my pitch, anyway.
Oh man, advocate for yourself. It's really hard to do that.
(42:32):
Like super hard. I am apparently a grown up.
That's what they keep telling meand I still am like I am scared
to ask this question. I've learned that it is so much
easier if I put all my questionsand like my notes in my phone
because one brain fog, you're not going to remember that stuff
when you're in there. 2 overwhelm.
(42:54):
And like with those two things competing against each other, I
realized I would go to appointments and they would ask
me, Oh, is there anything else? And I'm like, Nope, we're good.
And then like 3 days later I'd be like, oh crap, like I forgot
to ask about that one thing my arm's been doing when I wake up
or whatever. So I just, I put things in my
(43:16):
notes and I, I bring it up, I bring it up to my doctors and
it's always like I'm a little bit shaky and my palms are a
little sweaty. But I open it up and I'm like,
OK, I have some questions for you.
I'm just going to read them verbatim.
I'm not even going to give you eye contact, but it's allowed me
to get the answers that I've needed.
(43:37):
If you have my chart, abuse it. Send every question every random
2:00 AM like is this a problem? Don't go to Google go to my
chart girl. Ask your doctor they are there
to answer your questions. Also stay hydrated.
Like I know that sounds so stupid but Oh my Lord all the
(44:00):
things that I honestly could have avoided and like issues and
dizzy spells if I had just like kept my water on me.
This is a little bit of a plug, I guess, but Bowie hydration
drops, they're unflavored. It's great.
I, I liquid IV gets grainy and stuff, but like, just please,
(44:23):
please use electrolytes in all your things.
Put in your matcha, in your coffee, in your oh, I know I'm
not supposed to be drinking thisdrink.
The little bit of electrolytes goes a very long way for us
chronically ill people. Like a long way also to just
(44:44):
like, find things that you love that are like within your
capacity. Like, I love my husband so much
and he's like, we should join a volleyball club.
And I'm like, dude, there will never be a time in this
lifetime. I will say I was very offended
that nobody asked me to be a part of it at first because my
mom was the one who was like, weshould start a team and my name
(45:07):
wasn't listed. And I was like, how dare you?
But then I also was like, I justwanted to be considered so I
could say no. Like I'm not doing it.
But yeah, like, you know, a lot of people, like I see I have
friends and running clubs and things like that.
And that's just not, that's not me and it's not going to be me.
And I've I'm OK with that. I'm in, I'm in two book clubs,
(45:31):
though. And like, I love it.
It's something that I personallyenjoy and I have community with
people who enjoy something that doesn't make me feel pressured
to be, like, the best or better or like to push myself too hard.
And so, yeah. And if you are like me and you
(45:52):
have a doctor that's telling youto move your body, don't torture
yourself. Like, don't go in the gym and,
like, do the stuff you don't want to do because it's not
going to help you get better. You're just going to stop doing
it. I have a Planet Fitness
membership that I have not used in like 4 months.
Find something that will keep you active if that's something
(46:15):
that the doctor is asking of you, but something that you'll
love. Zumba, Pilates, a dance video on
YouTube, Just Dance. Whatever.
Like find a way to make the sucky things just a little bit
more fun and drink your water please Oh my God please.
(46:41):
So important. Stay hydrated please.
That is such a good point. I hate when I hate when like
doctors or people are like, you know, you tell them a symptom
and they go, well, how you been?Have you been drinking water?
And you go, of course I have. And then you leave and you go.
I was not drinking. I know you're like, Oh my God,
(47:01):
if I had only yeah, I'm always like, duh, I walk around with
this big old Stanley. You think I'm not drinking
water? And my my cardio just likes to
ask me how long has it been full?
I'm like, it's such a like 2 days.
But like, if you could stay out of my business a little bit,
(47:22):
that'd be really nice. Like please.
Thanks. You're like, that's not what I
asked you. OK, What I asked you.
I feel like this. Yeah, like, girl, please don't.
I'm like, oh, yeah, I'm having like, you know, issues with,
like, waking up and just feelingbrain fog.
And she's like, how much have you?
(47:42):
How much water do you drink the day before?
And I'm like, Nope, we're talking about my brain.
That's what we're talking about right now.
Not once did I ask you about water, so I don't understand why
you're asking me, because that wasn't the question.
Wow, this is a little too relatable.
(48:03):
I'm like, OK, that is a really good tip and trick to give to
people that and like, yeah, finding a way to move your body
and like do things that you lovethat aren't obnoxious and maybe
cost the $45.00 to get a. Do literally.
(48:25):
Also if I have a call out personally.
But I mean, but I don't want, I don't want to be in the gym with
a whole bunch of dude Bros. I don't want to hear you
grunting. No, like I've learned I really
like Pilates. It's very fun.
They play pop, Everyone in thereis in like pink and fluorescent
colors and the lights are reallylow.
And I also found out that it's one thing that I'm better at
(48:47):
physically than my husband and Ilove bringing him with me
because I get to hear him sufferand I'm like, this is so easy
breezy and like I would never let him put me on a basketball
court ever. But well, that's.
I do love it though. You could be like, you could be
like, I am disabled. You can't make me do that.
(49:07):
Literally me all the time. I'm like, that's ableist.
I just want you to know that I'mthrowing that out there.
And he's like, I don't think that's what that is.
I'm like, no, seriously, you can't do that.
I will just like being a kid, like I'll die if you make me do
that. I'm just going to die so can't
help, sorry. OK, yeah, OK.
(49:29):
Those are good. Those are good tips and tricks.
Oh no. Yeah, hold on one SEC.
I just dropped out. There it is, fidgeting with my
rings. Oh, real.
Yeah, I'm like, let me not like lose that forever.
I don't think he'd be very happyabout that.
I know I get nervous sometimes. I almost dropped my wedding ring
down a sink one time and then panicked for like 45 minutes
(49:53):
looking around the rest of the house instead of where I
started. I was like Oh my gosh, I must
have dropped. I must have dropped her on the
stairs. Nope, it was in the stairs where
I was. So relatable.
So relatable. You're good.
I am a fidgety queen, so I get it.
Is there anything else that you want to leave the listeners with
(50:15):
before we kind of wrap up the episode?
Take care of yourself, like honestly, slow down.
And I know it's hard. I think we live in a world where
we're rewarded for our masking, and that's not OK.
And I get it. Like, I've lived here a million
(50:36):
years, it feels like. And all you hear is like, the
world's not going to accommodateyou.
So you just have to, like, pull yourself up by your bootstraps.
But if you can find even the smallest of ways to accommodate
yourself, please do. Like seriously, it's not worth.
(50:57):
I've done the thing, I've done the burnout thing, I've done the
working 20 hours a day stuff. It'll never be worth your
physical health to prove to people who aren't asking if you
are difficult. So yeah, that would be my last
thing. Slow down, babes, there's no
(51:19):
rush. Wow Oh my gosh just hearing
someone be like stop trying to prove stuff to people who aren't
asking. Literally no one's ever asked me
like, hey, do you think you could do more than you're doing
right now ever? Actually, yeah, OK.
But it's just ingrained in us, so yeah.
Yeah, that's a really good point.
(51:39):
Wow, What a good way to like wrap the episode well for the
listeners who liked hearing yourstory and maybe want to chat
with you more, is there a place that they can do that?
Are you on social? Media I am.
You can find me on Instagram. I think it's at Ash Wilcox.
(52:01):
Let me not lie to you. Give me one second because it
would be wild if I said it is OK.
My Instagram handle is at ash ASH Wilcox with two XS.
So it's ASHWILCOXX, I've got lots of highlights.
(52:22):
If you ever want to know what mynails look like because I'm
obsessed with getting them done,I've got a highlight for ya.
Yeah, I mean, a lot of my healthjourney is up in my stories and
well, my infertility stuff. And I'm an open book.
So hit me up in the DMS. I am more than happy to have a
little chat with y'all. OK, well, thank you again so
(52:48):
much for coming on the podcast. This was, I think a very
enlightening episode for me personally, but hopefully for
others as well. No, I'm so happy.
I thank you for having me and I'm just so grateful that we got
to make this connection. And I can't wait to check in on
you and be like, same girl because it seems like we have a
lot of similar things going on and I love that.
(53:13):
So yeah. Yay.
Well, listener, that is all we have for you today.
Otherwise, I'm Clark, this is Ashlyn, and this has been
chronically the sickest podcast you know.
That's all folks. Thank you so much for listening.
(53:36):
If you liked this episode, clickthat follow up button on your
podcast app of choice to get notified every other week.
You can find the podcast on Instagram and TikTok at
Chronically the Sickest Podcast.Let me know if you have any
questions or just want to chat. I love hearing from y'all.
Until next time, I'm Clark, and this has been Chronically the
Sickest podcast you know. Disclaimer, this is a
(54:04):
conversational podcast and whilewe make sure our diagnosis
journey, symptoms and treatment plan, this is not medical
advice. If you have any questions
regarding your health, please reach out to your doctor and
have a great day.
Hello folks, and welcome to Chronically the Sickest, the
podcast where we talk about all things that make us chronically
the sickest people we know. I'm Clark, your host.
It's nice to chat with you this week.
Join us as we dive into the episode, sit back, relax, and
enjoy the show. Ashlyn, welcome to Chronically
(00:33):
the Sickest podcast. I'm so excited to have you.
Me too. Thank you so much for having me
Clark. This is super exciting.
We are already having so much fun before we started recording,
so of course this is going to bea good episode.
But for the listeners at home who may not know who you are,
can you tell me a little bit about yourself?
Yeah, my name is Ashlyn. I'm 29, living in the Dallas, TX
(00:59):
area and you know, just doing mybest to stay happy and alive.
OK, that's very relatable. What do you do like for fun, for
hobbies? Like is Arlie you like a reader?
Do you play sports? Oh, obsessed with reading, super
competitive. So I do love a good like board
(01:20):
game night. If there is Monopoly, it will
end in screaming. And I also just right now I'm
working at our church and I lovewhat I do.
I've got a lot of really cool friends there.
We actually just played like a an among us in real life game.
So we like to do a lot of reallykooky, fun things.
(01:44):
And yeah, I've got a really awesome husband who's upstairs
playing video games that we can record and two really adorable
dogs that are under foot right now.
Oh. My gosh, what kind of dogs?
I have a Cane Corsa, so she's a mastiff, her name is Peach.
And then we have a Goldendoodle named Max Very uncanny
(02:07):
partnership, but they are besties for the resties, so we
love it. Oh my goodness, that's like too
cute. Oh my gosh.
Yeah, we love, we love these guys so much.
Of course, they're way more spoiled than any dog should be,
but it's OK, We're here for it. I mean I just imagine every day
(02:28):
like being a pet must just be living the dream you.
Know Oh my gosh, yes, they're onthe couch like just chilling.
They just get to do whatever they want to do all day.
They get snacks. They also don't really have to
exercise much and they love it. They live their absolute best
life in our home. We are just the guests,
(02:49):
honestly. Yes, this is true.
You go to work solely to make money for.
Their country, yes 100% and we love it.
We wouldn't want it any other way.
Of course. No, that is way too relatable.
OK, wow, you just saying you're like, yes, I like reading.
(03:09):
I'm competitive at board games. I am a dog mom through and
through. I feel like the listeners are
going to love you. OK, so I have to ask the big
question. What do you think makes you
chronically the sickest person you know?
I think what makes me chronically the sickest person I
know is that I do everything with a full heart, but my
(03:32):
regular schmegular heart is onlyhalf functioning.
We love it. That is the best answer.
Oh my gosh, that is one of the best answers I've gotten so far.
Thank you. I'm a little witty every once in
a while, you know, just throw out a good one.
Hey I have a whole podcast called Chronically the Sickest.
(03:54):
OK, I love my. Pun.
I was like, this is amazing. I said please like whatever I
have to do. Like when I commented I was like
please pick me, please pick me, please pick me.
I was like, I can't imagine thisnot being fun.
Oh, oh, good. OK, well, that kind of is the
perfect segue. Tell me about what we're going
(04:14):
to be talking about today. Yeah.
So we are going to be talking about congenital heart disease,
specifically transposition of the great arteries.
It's a very long, long, long situation here.
But basically what it is, is just a congenital defect.
(04:35):
And my aorta and my pulmonary artery, their functions were
switched when I was born. So they had to essentially shunt
off like half of my heart through a procedure called the
Fontan procedure and switch those functions back.
(04:57):
Multiple open heart surgeries asa baby and now basically my
oxygenated blood flows straight through my lungs versus going
through all four chambers of my heart because my heart just
could not process that. It's very interesting.
Came out blue. My mom said it was extremely
(05:18):
scary for her. I was her first baby and she
said she gave birth. They said it's a girl and there
was just a lot of shuffling thathappened and by the time she had
heard anything about me having congenital heart disease and
going through things, they basically told her she came out
in blue, but she's going to be OK.
(05:39):
Also, she's no longer in this hospital.
She is on a helicopter. Oh my.
Gosh, on her way to Stanford. And so, you know, I was just a
little baby bean. So I don't remember any of this,
but I can only imagine now, likehow crazy it is to give birth.
And they're like, yeah, you'll see her eventually, but like,
(06:00):
she's going in for a a surgery. And yeah, they went in and they
did the Fontan procedure. And I mean, they told my mom
initially that it was still a little bit experimental and, you
know, not to have the highest ofhopes for me for the rest of my
(06:21):
life as far as being an active child.
And also, like, you know, life expectancy is kind of up in the
air. It's kind of like a touch and go
situation. We kind of wait and see and
monitor and hope that later downthe line after three open heart
surgeries, that she'll be good to go.
(06:44):
And yeah, I mean, it's just one of those things where as a kid,
I was like, oh, yeah, I've got this heart thing and I have a
scar. But as an adult, hearing those
things and, like, really grasping, like, what that meant
for my mom at 20 and like, my family, I was like, oh, wow,
(07:05):
this is like, this is like a real serious situation here.
But, you know, as a kid, it's always just been like, a fun
fact. I mean, even as an adult, it'll
be like, oh, yeah, only half my heart really functions.
And they're like, oh, that's notnormal, girl, are you OK?
Like, it's fine, but yeah, most of my blood flow, my oxygenated
(07:29):
blood flow, it's essentially gravity based.
And what pushes my blood back upthrough my lungs is the muscles
in my legs. Oh my gosh.
It's a lot. It's a lot, yeah.
I mean, it's something that I'vehad to learn like myself because
(07:51):
I wasn't old enough to understand.
So the older I've gotten, the more I've asked questions of
like, wait, is it actually my leg muscles?
Or like, is that just like, do we just like say that?
Or is it like in my cardiologist, it's like, yes,
girl, you need to make sure you're like working your legs so
that you can essentially stay alive.
(08:13):
And I'm like, cool, no pressure.I was going to say, does this
mean that leg day is like every day for you or like you have to
make it leg day? You know what it should be She
we just talked about this. I had an appointment a few weeks
ago and I was like, so should I be like pumping iron like crazy?
And she was like, OK, well, don't, don't go too far.
(08:33):
She was like, get on a stationary bike, which is just a
piece of our home. We've had one for forever
because of this. And like, she's like, the
biggest thing is, like, walking up and down stairs and making
sure that, like, when you're on your stationary bike, you use
just a little bit of resistance so that those leg muscles are
(08:55):
never getting to a point. Like, you know, just do your
best not to be extremely sedentary.
So. Yeah, it's very, very
interesting stuff. My biggest concern as a kid was
at about like, I think 10. I thought, Oh my gosh, my blood
flows by gravity. And then I was like, wait, does
(09:16):
this mean I could never go to outer space?
And my cardiologist was like, correct, you can never.
And I was like, this is this is lame.
I don't want a whole new thing. Get me a new system.
Like, yeah, like that was honestly as a kid I didn't have
like, you know, you, your child,you think of things a lot
(09:37):
differently. I used to tell kids like, and
it's true, but I used to tell kids at school like, you can't
hit me in my chest too hard because if you do, you'll kill
me and I'll like, and my mom waslike, you're not going to die.
It's just like a like, no, you it shouldn't happen repeatedly,
but like, they're not going to kill you.
And I was like, well, I don't know.
It freaks them out. I like saying it.
(09:57):
So I'm going to stick with, but yeah, life is pretty.
It's pretty fun over here on theheart stuff.
I actually have my I have a heart monitor on right now.
Oh. How fun.
Yeah, it's extremely itchy. I'm very much ready for it to be
over. But she's right there, living
her best life. How fun.
(10:19):
OK, audio listeners, if you wantto switch over to video, you get
to see a. Fun little heart monitor.
Oh yeah, see, just a little. That's cute too.
Lead. Yours is black.
Mine is black. I don't love this one I've had.
I mean, I've done this for thirtyish years now.
(10:39):
This is not my favorite. It's A2 lead monitor.
And yeah, but we've come a long way.
They used to be, I think it was 8 leads and the monitor.
I have no idea where that came from but that's fine.
Alright, thumbs up to that. Thumbs up to that.
(10:59):
Yeah. They used to be 8 lead and the
monitors were big enough to where you actually had to hold
them in a backpack. Like they're cute.
So my mom bought me like really cute, like Winnie the Pooh and
like Cinderella. Like I had all these little
backpacks for like my every six month heart monitor week where
I'd just like lug around this a mass of cords just like cute
(11:22):
little. Yeah.
So this is we're very much improved here, but it's just a
little bit annoying. I'm sure.
I mean, it's annoying now, just like you said, it's it's itchy
and sticky and you like can't shower for too long.
But I can't imagine carrying around in a backpack that's
worse. Yeah.
(11:43):
Yeah, I told my husband I was like, because he was like, man,
that really sucks. And I was like, it used to suck
more. And I told him about the
backpack thing and the fact that, like, the technology has
just been better. And I'm grateful, OK?
So you kind of said like, it's it's great that things have
progressed to a point where things are slightly easier.
(12:03):
Yeah. Are there other things like, I
know you said like you've had a couple surgeries, like when was
your last heart surgery? I'm like, do you feel like
you're at a place now where you are kind of living essentially
normally? Yeah.
So my last open heart surgery, Iwas 2.
OK. I went through like a
(12:26):
depression. I wouldn't talk to anybody,
which is apparently very normal for people with congenital heart
disease, is that we are at higher risk for depression and
anxiety. And then I had a what's called a
Cath procedure in fifth grade. I had fluid around my heart and
(12:48):
so they had to go and put a catheter through the main artery
in my leg to remove the fluid around there.
It was super scary. I will say like my 5th grade
class was very sweet. They all made me get Well soon
cards, and I still have them allthese years later because it was
(13:13):
just so sweet to be able to, like, sit in my little hospital
bed and, like, read all my little cards.
And yeah, I mean, really, right now on with the track that I'm
on, you know, they kind of tell you, like, your heart's a
muscle. And as long as you're kind of
sticking with what you should bedoing, like healthy eating,
(13:35):
which I do struggle with sometimes, not drinking a lot of
caffeine, which is also something I struggle with
because I'm tired a lot. I really shouldn't have to have
any major surgeries. If I did have a moment in like
(13:56):
my early 20s where I was just having these random like dizzy
spells to the point where like I'd have to pull over while
driving or I'd have to stop whatever I was doing.
And so I was on a like high doseblood thinner called lisinopril.
And they told me basically, likeif we take you off of this and
(14:19):
you're still having these dizzy spells, we may have to consider
a pacemaker. So luckily enough for me, I got
off of the lisinopril. They put me back on low dose
aspirin and I've been fine. The only real major thing would
(14:40):
be at some point I may still need a pacemaker just because my
heart essentially works double time because it is working at
half the capacity. So yeah.
That makes sense. I guess like you said, yeah,
it's a muscle. So at some point it's it's it's
doing too much. Yeah, yeah.
Like, you know, it's, it's interesting because it's like,
(15:01):
wow, it's so cool. The heart can do so much.
But then it's also like, that's a lot, you know, like just like
any other thing, you don't want to fatigue something so
important. So.
Yeah. Yeah, Oh my goodness.
Yeah, it's, it's a much better prognosis than when I was
(15:23):
younger. When I was, I don't know, maybe
8 or 9. The way that technology was back
then, it was kind of like, oh, by the time she's in her 30s,
she'll need a full heart transplant.
And so for the longest time, I was preparing myself for like,
at some point I'm going to have to go through getting myself on
(15:43):
a transplant list and doing the transplant and then taking all
the meds that comes with it. But I turned 30 this year, and
that conversation has been very far away from what the
conversations are now. So that's been really nice.
That's really good. That's nice, especially with
what you said at the beginning, like the like life expectancy of
(16:09):
someone with congenital heart disease.
Was. Scary like I can't even imagine
for your mom like you said to give birth and not even oh your
babies in the NICU. It's going to be a couple weeks
before you. Can see that.
But like quite literally, your child was life flighted and is
currently in a different part oflike the state, the country
(16:30):
like. You.
You just wait here and you're like, what now?
Yeah, Like what? What are you saying?
Yeah. And they're like, hopefully, and
I think too, like they told her like, yeah, you know, this
procedure is like partially experimental.
And she's like, great, awesome. So excited for that.
You're like, you're not giving me a lot of confidence right
now. Yeah, yeah.
(16:51):
Oh my goodness, man. Yeah.
But shout out to Stanford. They're the best.
They saved my little life and they became such an integral
part of our life that my mom actually worked at Stanford for
about eight years in pediatric cardiology.
Oh my gosh. Yeah, Yeah.
(17:13):
She did pediatric cardiology fora while and then transferred to
cardiothoracic surgery and she was a clinical coordinator there
just because, I mean, it was just something that she ended up
growing passion for. You have to learn all these big
words and all these phrases and know things that you never would
(17:34):
have thought you'd have to know.And so, yeah, she was like,
well, I'm going to go to school and become a medical assistant.
And then she just took it all the way through by her masters.
And, yeah, so, you know, I was my mom's inspiration.
No big deal. Oh my gosh, you're so inspiring.
I know I love it. That's amazing though.
(17:56):
I mean that is great for your mom.
Like to turn it around and just be like, you know what, like
I've gone through this and I want to help other people who
are going through this. But then also for you, like, I'm
so glad that you are now on a track where it's just like the
worst that's going to happen is that like you get a pacemaker
(18:21):
versus having to get a whole heart transplant.
Because you're right, that is like even in your 20s and 30s,
like that's scary. But as a kid to be like your
heart is just, you're going to need a new one at some point and
being like cool, cool, cool, cool.
Yeah, and nobody's ever sugar coated it with me, which like, I
(18:44):
appreciate now, but like, sometimes I'm like, OK, guys, I
was like a child. Like maybe we should have just a
couple of little things. We should have said, hey, you
know, she is 10. So the way we talk about this
should be a little bit more guarded.
But no, they were very much justlike, I mean, shout out to all
(19:05):
the male cardiologists out there.
I think it's really it's probably mostly a guy thing that
they're just like, why, Why keepher from knowing the truth?
We'll just tell it to her like they're like, oh, it to me
straight. So we're.
Going to put this thing through your arteries, which is the
thing that controls your life and your blood and you're like,
OK, I'm. Telling yeah, literally, like I
(19:28):
am a baby, but lay it on me. Sure, tell me all the things.
Sure, I fully understand the words you're saying and the
implications on my life. Yeah, 100%.
I I get it. I get it now.
Potsies, listen up. We both know that precinctopy
sucks. Fainting to passing out when
(19:51):
you're alone though, that is 2 thumbs down.
It's so nerve wracking like whatif I pass out and hit my head or
I start getting dizzy while I'm driving Am I gonna be safe or
just in general am I gonna be safe as a disabled woman?
That anxiety, that is what gets you.
(20:12):
But I don't have that anymore. Well I do have anxiety.
I am an OCD girly but. Not about passing out or my
safety because I just click my Invisi Wear necklace and both my
family and emergency personnel are alerted.
The dizzies are scary no matter how many times it happens.
(20:33):
But knowing that I have a backupplan is what makes me feel a
little bit better, so maybe that'll help you too.
Using code sickest for 10% off on your Invisi Wear purchase at
the link in your description is an option.
Sending you salty vibes. Okie dokie.
Anyway, yeah, Oh my goodness yeah.
(20:58):
Looking back, I mean, just hearing your story is kind of
crazy, but I can't imagine, yeah, looking back on that
experience and kind of processing as you get older.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's been, it's been
interesting. It's been very fun.
OK. Can I ask perhaps a personal
question, are you planning on having kids and like is this
(21:20):
something that is like genetic that can get?
Past. So yes, it is something that's
genetic. When I was born, they thought it
was an anomaly. We've learned that my condition
is an anomaly. However, congenital heart
(21:41):
disease in general does run in our family.
I have younger cousins now. One was born with a heart murmur
and I was born with two. So that was super scary.
And then one of my other youngercousins actually used to play
football and he had his very first like atrial episode on the
(22:04):
football field in high school and he had to have a non
invasive surgery. And it was one of those things
where for the longest time it was like, gosh, Ashlyn's just
this like anomaly, like she was just Born This Way.
It's really weird how the genes just worked out that way.
And now we've looked at our family tree and we're like, oh,
(22:25):
shoot, like they're we're pointing now to people on my
mom's side that are also having what seems like more congenital
issues. We've tried to have children,
but with my heart being at 50% capacity, she's not very good at
(22:46):
keeping two things alive at one time.
So we have, we tried and I, I just decided, I mean, we've,
we've been pregnant multiple times.
Like it was very much a my mom kind of instilled in me that
like even when doctors said I couldn't do certain things,
(23:08):
she'd be like, let's give it a go.
Let's just see like in a controlled space, obviously,
let's just give it a try. They say you'll never be able to
play sports. I did competitive cheer for a
couple of years. Like it was just one of those
things where my mom was like, you just have to learn your
limits. So I had to learn that very
early and then just know then. And so I was like, cool, They
(23:32):
all of my male cardiologist fromwhen I was a baby were like,
you'll never be able to have kids.
Don't even try it. It's not worth the risk.
My cardiologist now, she's a woman.
And she sat me down and told me,look, I'm not going to lie to
you and say that it's going to be amazing and it's just going
to happen for you. But what she told me was, as a
(23:55):
woman who has had my own children, I can't sit across
from you and tell you, like, Nah, don't do it.
So she was like, we're going to give it a good college try.
And if it works, it works. And if it doesn't, you know,
like, we just kind of decided what the line was on, like when
(24:16):
we would kind of hang it up. And so my first two pregnancies
were very early losses. And then my third pregnancy, I
actually made it to believe like19 weeks and I had what's called
a subchorionic hematoma, which is just like a major blood clot
(24:41):
within the uterus just chilling in there with the baby.
And we don't know if it's like like, we'll, we'll unfortunately
like never know. I mean, there's no testing we
could do. But we don't know if it's that
the hematoma that too big or that there was already fetal
(25:02):
demise. But I went into, like,
spontaneous labor. And that was the point where my
husband and I said, yeah, you know, what Is this?
Is this really worth it? And we said no.
And my husband, my sweet, beautiful Angel child of a
husband, was supposed to get a vasectomy, and he postponed it
(25:23):
for a while. And so we got pregnant again.
And we were like, OK, we'll see where this takes us.
And it was, it was kind of funnybecause we're sitting at our
anniversary dinner. My husband just had his
vasectomy like four or five daysago.
And I'm like, I don't know, man.I haven't been feeling good.
(25:46):
Like, I've just been feeling kind of awe.
And he's like, you think you could be pregnant?
And we both started laughing andwe were like, there's no way.
And he was like, how funny wouldit be if you were?
I was. Oh.
And so we were like, well, we'llgo all in, you know, like we'll
(26:06):
do what we can do and see where this takes us.
I took, I mean, I'd already doneinfertility treatments and
stuff. And so my maternal fetal
medicine doctor told me that we would basically just throw the
kitchen sink at it and see if itsticks.
And I was totally down to do that.
So I was taking, I don't even remember the name of the
(26:29):
medication anymore, but a blood thinner injection every day.
Our hope was just that if we could keep my blood thin enough,
my heart could work hard enough to keep circulation to both.
And then yeah, we ended up having a loss again.
And because of the thinners, I had to have multiple blood
(26:51):
transfusions. I lost, yeah, I lost a good
amount. I had three blood transfusions
within like my 8 hour stint, 10 hour stint at the hospital.
And I think what was nice about it, as bad as that sounds, maybe
is like, for us, for me, for my husband, for our family, Like we
(27:17):
all know that I gave it my all and, like, did my best to, like,
do this. And so like, I never will regret
it. And we had some very scary
moments for sure. But I'm super grateful that I
gave it like a try and that I didn't take no for an answer.
(27:39):
So yeah. Right, you did.
Like I did say that is yeah, yeah.
And like I did, I was very much aware of my, like, trust me,
when you're at the hospital and they're like, we have to do
blood transfusions, you go, yeah, I think this is my limit.
Like, pretty sure we just reached it, maybe surpass it a
little bit. Now, I'm going to lie to you,
(28:00):
maybe a little bit reckless, butI'm just very grateful that,
like, we did it. We tried it.
And I can say with confidence I do not want biological children.
And I wouldn't have been able todo that without having tried.
So. Yeah.
Right, finding out your your limit and.
(28:22):
Yeah, would not suggest it, by the way, ever.
Like, don't, don't do that, girl.
Just listen to your doctors apparently.
Like, they know things all thoseyears of medical school or
whatever, but yeah. Weird they actually know what
they're doing or talking about, but.
I know, so strange. Well, first of all, I mean, I'm,
(28:44):
I'm sure you heard this, but I'msorry, 'cause that's so
frustrating to have to go through, especially multiple
times and just like every time being like good old college try.
We're going to try like we're going to, we're going to do
everything possible but. Yeah.
Not to be in a place of like. Yeah.
(29:04):
OK, like this is what my life looks like.
And yeah, also like, it's 2025. Like, you don't have to have
biological children. You can adopt.
You could have no children at all.
Right now you're a dog mom, which is just as cool.
Honestly, I mean, I think we'd be really, really pissed if we
had had one. Anyway, we've been like, oh
(29:26):
dude, what about us, your first born children?
Like, hello. But yeah, thank you.
Thank you for the condolences. But yeah, it's just been, like
you said, it's 2025. There's like science is really
cool. There's a million things going
on. I have a friend who had an A
baby through embryo adoption. Like the the opportunities for
(29:52):
growing our families are endless.
They really are. So yeah, it's been good.
Yeah, I oh, you're good there. You.
Go. Sorry, I think I lost you for a
second. No, you're good.
It was like, hey, Ashwin's recording stopped and I was
like, why? It's it's because why wouldn't
(30:16):
it, Clark? That's just where we are in life
right now. Oh my gosh, I wow, what a what a
day. What a day.
It's only been an hour. Thank you truly though, like
thank you for sharing that experience because not only is
(30:37):
congenital heart disease obviously is not something
everyone has and maybe isn't something everyone knows about,
but I think a lot of people relate to the experience of
trying really hard to start a family.
And especially when you have a chronic illness, just being
like, I threw everything at it and I tried my best and
(30:57):
sometimes it works and sometimesit doesn't.
Like I like I currently have a, a voluntary hysterectomy.
So it's like. OK.
I like, it's just really interesting to hear other
people's experiences. Yeah, absolutely.
And like you said, like it's really not the end of the world.
(31:19):
For a while, actually before I even got married and I was told
that it would be really difficult, I'd initially said
that I never even wanted to try.I I was on the same train as
you. I was like, voluntary
hysterectomy, please. I'm so good.
I don't need the whole kit and caboodle.
(31:40):
I don't want periods anymore. Like I just leave me alone.
And then they told me that that's too invasive of a surgery
with my heart condition. And they were like, sorry, love,
you get to keep that one. And I was like, OK, cute, great,
great, great. And yeah, I mean, it was
something that like, I think toowith chronic illness and just
(32:03):
like in general, like it's weirdto say, but like peer pressure,
right? It's like you're in these
circles and everybody else is inone way or another typical
physically, right? And so you're watching all these
people without your condition oryour disability and you kind of
(32:26):
start to think like, well, I kind of want to do that or I
kind of want a piece of that. Like, you know, my friend
started having babies and I was like, well, I used to nanny, but
I know it's not the same as likehaving a child.
And so it did make me think like, well, I kind of want a
piece of that pie. Like I kind of want to be able
to relate in those ways. And I think it's just because we
(32:49):
do, we grow up and we're kind ofit.
It's, it's hard to find people that like, come on, like, oh,
yeah, you got anybody in here with a congenital heart disease?
No, OK. No, Like, can anybody else
relate to if you stand up too fast, you get dizzy?
Like, you know, it's super average apparently.
So I've been told. And so, yeah, I think honestly,
(33:14):
it was just like, I wanted to assimilate.
Like I wanted to be a part of like the crowd.
I wanted to do what all the other physically typical people
were doing. And like I said, I mean, I'm
grateful. And they never made me feel like
I can say I have a lot of supportive friends.
Like, they've always been there for us.
And like, they're here for whatever we decide to do.
(33:36):
If we decide we want to start analpaca farm, Like my friends
would be like, that's the coolest thing ever.
Yes, girl, go for it. We'll visit with our kids.
So, you know, it's not that. It's just like, I think we put
expectations on ourselves to present as more typical than we
(33:58):
are. And it's just something I've had
to learn, especially getting older.
So yeah. Yeah, that is a really good
point to bring up, Like the the peer pressure, the almost
natural progression of things. And life is like, OK, like your
(34:20):
friends are now engaged and yourfriends are now married and now
all of your friends have kids and they're doing all these
things. And sometimes your life is not
typical. And so you are a little stuck.
Like I think I did a whole, I did a whole episode on like just
(34:40):
the weird feelings when your friends are in that stage of
life and you're sitting there and you're just like, yes, they
are so supportive and yes, they are my friends, but you're like
almost finally seeing like the disparity.
Yes. Between what they're living and
what you're living, I think specifically with like,
(35:02):
pregnancy and having kids, yeah.So yeah, absolutely.
I mean, we were before I startedworking at our church.
We've just, we've been involved for a long time and we were in a
life group, which was just, it was called Young Married
Couples. And it was so fun.
It was so cool. We saw each other every Monday.
(35:25):
We'd go play pickleball togetherand like we'd do Bible studies
every other week and do potlucks.
And it was like at the beginningwhen we started, I just had my
first miscarriage and everybody else had just started trying to
have kids. And so we were all still on the
same playing field. And then one person had a kid
(35:45):
and it was like, OK, cool. She's now our group baby.
That's we can do, you know, like, that's fine.
And then more, you know, like itstarted to feel like, gosh,
everyone's pregnant, everyone's having kids.
And like, it's great for them, blessing for them.
Their kids are super cute. I love babies.
(36:06):
I am like super auntie, if you ever need me to babysit, I'm
down. But like we just saw them.
So we stopped going because it was like we don't our lives are
no longer where everybody else'sare.
And I just recently saw them because we did like a child
dedication and I worked the event and it was super sweet and
(36:30):
I was like, wow, Nat, like thereused to be 0 babies in this
group and now there are like 8. And that's super awesome.
But I also like taking pictures with them was like, I can
totally like, I cannot relate toanything that they're going
through at this point. And it used to make me sad and
now it's just like, it is what it is.
(36:51):
It's a part of our life. And like I'm happy to be in a
good place physically, mentally,emotionally, spiritually.
And so I really do. I just try to focus on those
things. And honestly, every once in a
while, as much as we want children, my husband and I will
(37:11):
hear a kid screaming on like an airplane or something and we
just look at each other and we go, wow, that could be us right
now. And it's not.
And it's just, it's just one of those things where it's like we
get to just like sleep in or take naps or like today we woke
(37:32):
up at like 9:30 and then we werelike, let's go to Costco.
We didn't have to like prepare anyone.
No diaper bags, no anything likeand I'm not going to lie, it's
not the worst. I like that.
I like hearing that. OK, first of all, it's like
(37:53):
almost uncanny to hear you say all that.
I might cut this but I I'm in a life group right now.
Everyone just started trying to have kids.
One of them just had their kid and we currently are at the
stage where it is the group babyand we meet on Monday nights.
(38:13):
Oh my God. Oh my God, Clark, are you
kidding? Not us living the same life he
was saying that. I was like, I was like, oh, life
group, I get that. And then you kept going and I
was like. Oh my God, you're living my
life. Not God.
Just having a moment with you right now while I'm just
blabbing. Well, I mean, it's kind of,
well, I almost needed to hear that.
(38:34):
Like at some point it like the sadness of it kind of goes away
or not goes away. But like it, it morphs into
something like different and newer.
And like you kind of talk about you're like, I get to go to
Costco and I don't have to get anyone ready is like such a gift
that not everyone gets. It really is.
(38:54):
It really is. And like, man, we had one, one
of the babies in the group who like every time we saw his
parents, we'd be like, how are you guys?
They'd be like exhausted. He's still not sleeping.
And we'd be like, that freaking sucks.
And like, I think what's really cool about it is it does morph.
And I think like the joy that I get now is not oh wow, I get to
(39:17):
have babies with these people. It is wow.
I get to help these people with their babies and like to know
that like our who was our group baby Eden, she's now just like
the senior child. She loves me and like I love
her. She sees me, she runs up to me,
she gives me a hug if she knows that I'm coming over.
(39:40):
She wants to put on a pretty dress so that I can tell her how
beautiful she is. She's a diva.
We love her and it's just so cool that I get to be a part of
their lives in a different way. And I think for the parents to
like, it's hard to ask your friend with a big baby the same
(40:01):
age as yours, like, hey, girl, you think you can be same?
I know you haven't slept in fourdays and neither have I, but
wouldn't it be fun if you took mine so I could take a nap?
Like, you know, So to be the friend that like, is always
down, they'll be like, yeah, sure.
And like, I work at our church and I work in kids ministry.
So like, I'm like, drop them off.
(40:21):
Drop them off at the church. We've got people that'll hold
babies that are cute like. We're more than happy to have
y'all or drop them off at my house or I'll come over and
bring snacks and wine. It it's it's cool.
It it morphs and and it's a good, it's a good morph for
(40:42):
sure. Yeah, thank you for sharing
that. Like first of all, yeah, what a
what a weird experience to have that be so similar.
But yeah, I think that'll also help the listeners to kind of
hear that after going through probably a really similar
experience to yours, being like at some point you really do get
(41:05):
to be that awesome person in your friends lives and get joy
from other things. Yeah.
So. Yeah, thank you.
I OK, I want to pick your brain.What other tips and tricks like
do you have for perhaps people who also have heart conditions
(41:26):
or I mean in the similar vein oflike fertility, like tell me,
tell me what you got. What wisdom do you have?
This is your friendly reminder that you are listening to this
for free, learning about chronicillness, mental health and other
important topics for free. But this does cost time and
(41:48):
money to make, and you could be getting a lot more.
Click the Patreon link in the description to get access to
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(42:10):
support the pod because like I said, you're listening for free.
Give me a dollar and I will giveyou lots of cool stuff in
return. That's my pitch, anyway.
Oh man, advocate for yourself. It's really hard to do that.
(42:32):
Like super hard. I am apparently a grown up.
That's what they keep telling meand I still am like I am scared
to ask this question. I've learned that it is so much
easier if I put all my questionsand like my notes in my phone
because one brain fog, you're not going to remember that stuff
when you're in there. 2 overwhelm.
(42:54):
And like with those two things competing against each other, I
realized I would go to appointments and they would ask
me, Oh, is there anything else? And I'm like, Nope, we're good.
And then like 3 days later I'd be like, oh crap, like I forgot
to ask about that one thing my arm's been doing when I wake up
or whatever. So I just, I put things in my
(43:16):
notes and I, I bring it up, I bring it up to my doctors and
it's always like I'm a little bit shaky and my palms are a
little sweaty. But I open it up and I'm like,
OK, I have some questions for you.
I'm just going to read them verbatim.
I'm not even going to give you eye contact, but it's allowed me
to get the answers that I've needed.
(43:37):
If you have my chart, abuse it. Send every question every random
2:00 AM like is this a problem? Don't go to Google go to my
chart girl. Ask your doctor they are there
to answer your questions. Also stay hydrated.
Like I know that sounds so stupid but Oh my Lord all the
(44:00):
things that I honestly could have avoided and like issues and
dizzy spells if I had just like kept my water on me.
This is a little bit of a plug, I guess, but Bowie hydration
drops, they're unflavored. It's great.
I, I liquid IV gets grainy and stuff, but like, just please,
(44:23):
please use electrolytes in all your things.
Put in your matcha, in your coffee, in your oh, I know I'm
not supposed to be drinking thisdrink.
The little bit of electrolytes goes a very long way for us
chronically ill people. Like a long way also to just
(44:44):
like, find things that you love that are like within your
capacity. Like, I love my husband so much
and he's like, we should join a volleyball club.
And I'm like, dude, there will never be a time in this
lifetime. I will say I was very offended
that nobody asked me to be a part of it at first because my
mom was the one who was like, weshould start a team and my name
(45:07):
wasn't listed. And I was like, how dare you?
But then I also was like, I justwanted to be considered so I
could say no. Like I'm not doing it.
But yeah, like, you know, a lot of people, like I see I have
friends and running clubs and things like that.
And that's just not, that's not me and it's not going to be me.
And I've I'm OK with that. I'm in, I'm in two book clubs,
(45:31):
though. And like, I love it.
It's something that I personallyenjoy and I have community with
people who enjoy something that doesn't make me feel pressured
to be, like, the best or better or like to push myself too hard.
And so, yeah. And if you are like me and you
(45:52):
have a doctor that's telling youto move your body, don't torture
yourself. Like, don't go in the gym and,
like, do the stuff you don't want to do because it's not
going to help you get better. You're just going to stop doing
it. I have a Planet Fitness
membership that I have not used in like 4 months.
Find something that will keep you active if that's something
(46:15):
that the doctor is asking of you, but something that you'll
love. Zumba, Pilates, a dance video on
YouTube, Just Dance. Whatever.
Like find a way to make the sucky things just a little bit
more fun and drink your water please Oh my God please.
(46:41):
So important. Stay hydrated please.
That is such a good point. I hate when I hate when like
doctors or people are like, you know, you tell them a symptom
and they go, well, how you been?Have you been drinking water?
And you go, of course I have. And then you leave and you go.
I was not drinking. I know you're like, Oh my God,
(47:01):
if I had only yeah, I'm always like, duh, I walk around with
this big old Stanley. You think I'm not drinking
water? And my my cardio just likes to
ask me how long has it been full?
I'm like, it's such a like 2 days.
But like, if you could stay out of my business a little bit,
(47:22):
that'd be really nice. Like please.
Thanks. You're like, that's not what I
asked you. OK, What I asked you.
I feel like this. Yeah, like, girl, please don't.
I'm like, oh, yeah, I'm having like, you know, issues with,
like, waking up and just feelingbrain fog.
And she's like, how much have you?
(47:42):
How much water do you drink the day before?
And I'm like, Nope, we're talking about my brain.
That's what we're talking about right now.
Not once did I ask you about water, so I don't understand why
you're asking me, because that wasn't the question.
Wow, this is a little too relatable.
(48:03):
I'm like, OK, that is a really good tip and trick to give to
people that and like, yeah, finding a way to move your body
and like do things that you lovethat aren't obnoxious and maybe
cost the $45.00 to get a. Do literally.
(48:25):
Also if I have a call out personally.
But I mean, but I don't want, I don't want to be in the gym with
a whole bunch of dude Bros. I don't want to hear you
grunting. No, like I've learned I really
like Pilates. It's very fun.
They play pop, Everyone in thereis in like pink and fluorescent
colors and the lights are reallylow.
And I also found out that it's one thing that I'm better at
(48:47):
physically than my husband and Ilove bringing him with me
because I get to hear him sufferand I'm like, this is so easy
breezy and like I would never let him put me on a basketball
court ever. But well, that's.
I do love it though. You could be like, you could be
like, I am disabled. You can't make me do that.
(49:07):
Literally me all the time. I'm like, that's ableist.
I just want you to know that I'mthrowing that out there.
And he's like, I don't think that's what that is.
I'm like, no, seriously, you can't do that.
I will just like being a kid, like I'll die if you make me do
that. I'm just going to die so can't
help, sorry. OK, yeah, OK.
(49:29):
Those are good. Those are good tips and tricks.
Oh no. Yeah, hold on one SEC.
I just dropped out. There it is, fidgeting with my
rings. Oh, real.
Yeah, I'm like, let me not like lose that forever.
I don't think he'd be very happyabout that.
I know I get nervous sometimes. I almost dropped my wedding ring
down a sink one time and then panicked for like 45 minutes
(49:53):
looking around the rest of the house instead of where I
started. I was like Oh my gosh, I must
have dropped. I must have dropped her on the
stairs. Nope, it was in the stairs where
I was. So relatable.
So relatable. You're good.
I am a fidgety queen, so I get it.
Is there anything else that you want to leave the listeners with
(50:15):
before we kind of wrap up the episode?
Take care of yourself, like honestly, slow down.
And I know it's hard. I think we live in a world where
we're rewarded for our masking, and that's not OK.
And I get it. Like, I've lived here a million
(50:36):
years, it feels like. And all you hear is like, the
world's not going to accommodateyou.
So you just have to, like, pull yourself up by your bootstraps.
But if you can find even the smallest of ways to accommodate
yourself, please do. Like seriously, it's not worth.
(50:57):
I've done the thing, I've done the burnout thing, I've done the
working 20 hours a day stuff. It'll never be worth your
physical health to prove to people who aren't asking if you
are difficult. So yeah, that would be my last
thing. Slow down, babes, there's no
(51:19):
rush. Wow Oh my gosh just hearing
someone be like stop trying to prove stuff to people who aren't
asking. Literally no one's ever asked me
like, hey, do you think you could do more than you're doing
right now ever? Actually, yeah, OK.
But it's just ingrained in us, so yeah.
Yeah, that's a really good point.
(51:39):
Wow, What a good way to like wrap the episode well for the
listeners who liked hearing yourstory and maybe want to chat
with you more, is there a place that they can do that?
Are you on social? Media I am.
You can find me on Instagram. I think it's at Ash Wilcox.
(52:01):
Let me not lie to you. Give me one second because it
would be wild if I said it is OK.
My Instagram handle is at ash ASH Wilcox with two XS.
So it's ASHWILCOXX, I've got lots of highlights.
(52:22):
If you ever want to know what mynails look like because I'm
obsessed with getting them done,I've got a highlight for ya.
Yeah, I mean, a lot of my healthjourney is up in my stories and
well, my infertility stuff. And I'm an open book.
So hit me up in the DMS. I am more than happy to have a
little chat with y'all. OK, well, thank you again so
(52:48):
much for coming on the podcast. This was, I think a very
enlightening episode for me personally, but hopefully for
others as well. No, I'm so happy.
I thank you for having me and I'm just so grateful that we got
to make this connection. And I can't wait to check in on
you and be like, same girl because it seems like we have a
lot of similar things going on and I love that.
(53:13):
So yeah. Yay.
Well, listener, that is all we have for you today.
Otherwise, I'm Clark, this is Ashlyn, and this has been
chronically the sickest podcast you know.
That's all folks. Thank you so much for listening.
(53:36):
If you liked this episode, clickthat follow up button on your
podcast app of choice to get notified every other week.
You can find the podcast on Instagram and TikTok at
Chronically the Sickest Podcast.Let me know if you have any
questions or just want to chat. I love hearing from y'all.
Until next time, I'm Clark, and this has been Chronically the
Sickest podcast you know. Disclaimer, this is a
(54:04):
conversational podcast and whilewe make sure our diagnosis
journey, symptoms and treatment plan, this is not medical
advice. If you have any questions
regarding your health, please reach out to your doctor and
have a great day.
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