Father's Day is Painful for the Discarded Daughter - How the CDQ "Celebrates."

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Forgiven is NOT the Same as Forgotten
I love being in fellowship with other believers. I love worshipping in song and praising Jesus with all my heart. So—I DO attend church. But some days are just harder than others. And for Discarded Daughters like me, Father's Day can be tough.

It's not that I'm still angry. I'm not still bitter. But God gifts each of us with an amazing memory. Sometimes, recollecting a painful past can force us to re-live emotions we've already dealt with.

You can disagree with me. Maybe you believe the broken pieces of trauma can simply and easily be obliterated from our minds and hearts when we "hand them over to the Lord." It just hasn't happened that way for me. I find myself embracing my victimhood over and over through the years, and then coming back to my Spiritual senses over and over again, as well.

So, once again—on a Father's Day in church—I am reminded that my earthly father just didn't have it in him to love me, protect me—or even want me. I'm also reminded my Heavenly Father has proven time and time again that no one could possibly want me more than He does.

But I had to look for that revelation again. It didn't flash before me instantaneously when I woke up this morning. The mind is a battlefield of lies that must be battled by internalizing God's truths. I find the lies to be forced into the depths of my mind but not entirely vanquished.

He loves me when I feel unlovable.
He wants me when I feel discarded.
He desires fellowship with me when I can't even look Him in the eye.

I may never be able to fully ignore the pain of abandonment and childhood abuse. I can only tell you that my constant looking up and recalling His sacrifice for me, His gift of His Spirit in me, and seeing broken people with His eyes, equips me to move forward.

I can apply the "all things work together for good," even though I may never see the "good" come to fruition.

How did you make it through today?

Is it time to deal with all things bitter and cold? As you read my message today, are thinking there's no way to forgive those that have abused and victimized you?

What if I told you I already feel the rage that is building in you even as you think the thought,

"I don't WANT to forgive them! And YOU can't make me!"

Sister,...nothing changes unless you change it. Maybe it's time to do the hard thing.

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