Church History for Chumps

"I'm not superstitious, but I am a little stitious."
-Constantine, probably 

The 4th century has begun to dawn. The Christian church is in hot water. The new system of tetrarchy established by Diocletian has already started to teeter, and Rome looks to fall back into the chaos of the prior century. 

But in the West, stands a man. A man who, unknown to anyone at this point, would become one of the single most contro...

"Conference room, five minutes!" 
-Emperor Constantine, probably 

325 AD was a year of rebirth. 

The Church was recovering from the Diocletianic Persecution, the worst wave of violence and discrimination faced thus far. Theologians and clergy were also battling the schism of the Donatists and the heresy of the Arians, both of which brought division to the body. 

But 325 felt different. Realizing the need for unity and co...

"Y'all gon' make me lose my mind up in here."
-Emperor Diocletian, probably

The third century wasn't a great time to be a Roman. But believe it or not, it was a great time to be a Christian! Churches were built, the faith was spread, and the influence and witness of Christ's followers flowed far and wide. 

But that would soon come to an end. 

I mean, sort of. It didn't stop. It just got a little ...

Imagine you had a friend who was, I dunno, an alien. 

They have no grasp of life on earth, no understanding of human customs, minimal grasp of the language, culture, music, anything like that. 

And so for years, they undergo a process of both learning and un-learning. Gradually detaching from their weird Martian ways (no disrespect to our Martian listeners), and becoming finely tuned in the rhythms of a human being. 

That's a lit...

Have you ever had to move across the country? It's a life-changing experience. Disrupting your regular routines and rhythms, adjusting to a totally foreign environment, learning new regional customs. 

Now imagine being forced to move, against your wishes. Five different times, after being welcomed back home. That sounds pretty rough, huh?

Welcome our topic for today, the greatest theologian of the 4th Century, Athanasius of Alex...

Did you know that Saint Patrick was the first Christian clergyman to ever don a priestly robe in green? No?

That's because it's not true! 

There's a lot of mythology around our boy, Paddy. But that just makes his story that much more interesting.

Thanks for tuning in! Don't forget to leave us a cool review and tell a friend about us. Or an enemy. 

IG: @churchhistory4chumps 

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Every sport has a Wayne Gretzky. A Hank Aaron. A Michael Jordan. 

The 4th Century didn't have Michael Jordan, though. It had Augustine of Hippo. And maybe Augustine didn't drop 30 points against the Jazz with a flu (or whatever), but Michael Jordan never took down Pelagianism without breaking a sweat. Wayne Gretzky never wrote Confessions, bro. Hank Aaron wasn't mentored by Ambrose of Milan!

What were we talking about?

...

When most Christians (okay, all Christians that aren't Catholic) look back on the Reformation, we typically do it with a little twinkle in our eyes. It feels like a time of triumph, of sticking it to the man once and for all. 

In reality, the Reformation, for all its successes, was often a mess. And nowhere was that mess more evident than in 17th century England. 

Join us this week as we walk through the lead-up to the English C...

Imagine that you're a teenager. You live in one of the biggest cities in the world, and your parents have just died, leaving behind a Bruce Wayne-esque amount of wealth and land. This is any kid's dream come true. The world is your oyster. 

Unless your name is Anthony the Great. Then you decide to sell all your stuff, give it to the poor, and then go live in the desert for 80 years. I guess he was a little different. 

Join ...

"Awwww here it goes."
--Kel Mitchell, Kenan and Kel 

We're back in the early church again, which means we're into the story of Christian persecution in the Roman Empire. 

The 3rd Century was no pleasant time for the Romans, Christian or not. Through a series of civil wars, external threats, and economic woes, the Empire was closer to collapse than ever before. 

This growing instability would not bode well for ...

John Brown was a man on a mission from God. Or so he thought.

Less than a decade before the Civil War began, John Brown would attempt to lead a slave rebellion by taking over a military armory in Harpers Ferry, Virginia. Although unsuccessful, he would solidify his actions as a villain of the proslavery south and a hero of the antislavery north. 

Brown considered himself as a hero of the Christian faith, trying to purge the sin of sl...

Is our nation more divided than ever? Are we losing the ability to respectfully disagree with each other?

Welcome to our first ever bonus episode: Chump Talk. In these episodes, we'll tackle larger ideas and themes in the culture and talk to even cooler guests.

(Don't worry though, we'll be right back with your church history fix next week)

This week, John and Tom are joined by Jacob Hjortman, a beloved Swedish podcaste...

Have you ever heard someone say that Christianity is anti-intellectual? 

Well, you should send them this episode. And have them 'like' and 'subscribe' too, that would help us a lot. 

But anyways. Justin Martyr was a 2nd-century Greek man with a love for philosophy, who found the fullness of all love of wisdom in Christ. We think he's a pretty cool guy. 

And today we're joined...

As you guys know, we love presenting church history as a beautiful anthology of the story of God's people. Sometimes it's easy to lose sight of the vastness of that story when we don't venture out of our own contexts.

So today, we're going to peer to the far outside branches of our Christian family tree, and discuss the origin of one of the most longstanding Christian traditions in the world: the Ethiop...

"Why are you booing me? I'm right!"
- the early church, probably 

The first century was a funky time to be a Christian, but persecution as we know it was pretty scattered and sporadic. In the second century though, things are starting to ramp up. 

Join us for another episode from our "The Early Church Gets the Worm" series, and listen to us forget to edit out some fun mic noises in the...

In our newest piece in our series of Early Church lore, we discuss another tale of martyrdom, that of Perpetua and Felicity. 

The early third Century was not an easy time for Christians in Northern Africa. But as so many tales of martyrs go, their story was one of both tragedy and triumph, as they took up the cross of Christ in the truest way. 

Thanks for tuning in! 

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Buy us a coffee: https://buymeacoffee.co...

GUESS WHO'S BACK

Man, it's been a minute you guys. I don't know if you missed us, but we definitely missed you. 

This kicks off our new season, "The Early Church Gets the Worm." We'll be focusing on, you guessed it, stories from the early church era. 

The story of Sergius and Bacchus is a tale of brotherhood, friendship, and the lasting legacy of their 5th century martyrdom. ...

In many parts of the world, the question of whether you're a Catholic or Protestant means a lot more than if you submit to the Pope, or how you feel about Martin Luther. 

One such place is Northern Ireland. For generations, the people of Ireland and the United Kingdom have been steeped in a conflict about religious freedom, civil rights, and discrimination. Tragically, this period of tension boiled over between the 19...