March 23, 2023 • 32 mins
Ego is defined as knowing who you are and what your identity is, in terms of how you see yourself. To be void of ego means you can lose any reactivity and any level of personal offense. This level of existence is something to strive for, but unrealistic.
Sometimes we can see our ego as our "drive" or the part of ourselves that will fight to survive. Although this can be a valid experience, our focus should be on pinpointing the perception of the self that resists positive transformation. We need to be aware that our ego does not want change. This episode explores how with every transformation and positive change the ego dies and our true self shines.
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Episode Transcript
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Fortune (00:04):
Welcome all to circuitry. It's time to ignite
your life.
Jean (00:08):
Join us as we explore this episode's thought provoking
topic and what it means to usthrough everyday life challenges
and practical spiritual tools.
Fortune (00:16):
So let's start sharing.
Hello, darling.
Jean (00:20):
Hello, darling. How you doing? I'm doing good. It's
springing a spring and springsprung. I love it. Yes,
Fortune (00:28):
the energy change is just amazing for me. Oh,
Jean (00:33):
yeah. energy change has been intense. of what's going on
right now? Yes, definitely. Likewe took a whole week off.
Because of the energy change.
Yes,
Fortune (00:43):
we needed to recharge.
And we needed the energy, theenergy to change change. Yeah,
Jean (00:49):
I thought it was I thought it was actually amazing that we
made that decision to just stepback. And it was like stopping
just this almost routine. Yeah.
And, and by pulling back, we allof a sudden got all these great
ideas. And
Fortune (01:04):
yeah, especially with the subject of ego.
Jean (01:08):
Yes. Today's thought provoking topic. As ego? Yes, it
Fortune (01:14):
is. And there's a lot to think about. There is a
topic? Yes. It's not, you know,it's not so black and white all
the time?
Jean (01:23):
No, because, you know, we're talking about this a
little bit before the show. Andyou were saying how, you know,
the ego is going to trick us?
Yes. Always trying. So maybe weshould try. And you know,
there's a lot of conceptions onwhat, you know, an ego is or,
you know, people perceiving whattheir ego is. And there's a lot
(01:44):
of psychological definitions ofit, and spiritual definitions,
and everybody has a differentpersonality, right? So it's
just, it can get complicated forpeople, like when we talk about
it, it can be like, Well, somepeople will say, Oh, well, you
know, my egos. What drives me,it makes me successful, it makes
(02:05):
me
Fortune (02:08):
well, the ego wants you to think that, you know,
Jean (02:11):
that that's, you know, that's, that's, that could be
perceived as, quote unquote,ego. But really, it's, it's your
sense of purpose, you know,right. So
Fortune (02:24):
and if that's what's driving you, then you're in
trouble. Oh, yeah,
Jean (02:27):
it can, it can be what's trouble, but it all can be game
of semantics. You know, we'renot here to like, tell people
Oh, what do you think is wrong?
And what we think is, right,we're just exploring the
subject. Right? And, and how
Fortune (02:40):
it's so important right now, to really, to understand
what your ego is doing, right?
Because our whole point of thisis transformation. It's a
cleansing time right now, right?
So we need to take all those badhabits, and all those things
that we want to get rid of,right. And the ego drives most
(03:01):
of those things. So we want totake those things we want to,
you know, try to get rid ofthem. Well,
Jean (03:06):
it's your identity, it's how you see yourself. And, you
know, it's too much pridesometimes. Or it can turn into
arrogance, or it can turn intoyou, it's almost like, this is
this is me. And you can getstuck in this as me, right?
Fortune (03:26):
Well, because you care about what people think. Right?
So that's the problem with thatis we think about, well, how do
I look to the other person. So Ithink that other person would
want me to look like this. Sothen I change who I am, and
become something different. Yes.
And it's not the real,
Jean (03:43):
you know, it's not the real you. So and the goal is to
is to build on the true self andto diminish any false qualities
or false personas you're puttingforth in order to fit in in
order to be successful than to,to you know, I talk sometimes
about being in the corporateworld I used to, you know, I
(04:05):
made a joke when I was exitingin North or whatever I used to
call you on the phone on the go,I got I gotta go put on my my HR
costume. Right, right, right,because you're a different
person,
Fortune (04:13):
you have a different persona, right? And your ego
helps you with that. Oh, butit's not doesn't make you happy.
That's not where you were happy?
No, it was. And that's where Icould do it. Like right now you
don't have to put on a suit toknow that just because you write
this gene doesn't mean and thisis fortune. And let's just talk
about for a minute that we havetwo voices in our head. We do
(04:36):
and always right. And I thinkthat a lot of times the more
stress we have in our life Iknow for me that ego voice is
the first voice I hear you knowif I get upset or something
that's so that's why I'm doingthat protection of yourself as a
fence rival almost of the, ofthe of the, of the ego is oh is
(04:57):
fighting to survive. Right?
Right. But that's that's thetime. That's why we say pause
all the time, because we'relistening to that voice that we
should not listen to. And that'swhy we need to pause and listen
for the other voice that kind ofhas the voice of reason. You
know what I mean? The voice oflove the voice of, you know,
(05:19):
compassion, and all of that. Andthat will lead you down a much
better path, because the choicesthat you might make, when that
ego voice speaks to you, theymight feel good for the moment,
but it won't last,
Jean (05:33):
you know, won't last. It won't last. And you know, like,
you know, I always like to golike, what's the opposite? What
are we talking about here? Youknow. So I think what I was kind
of when I was mulling thisthrough is like, when you lose,
or are able to be aware even ofyour reactivity, right, or your
personal offense to something oryour resistance to something,
(05:56):
that's when you can lose it orwhen you can, then you're you're
on track to diminishing the ego.
When you could not be personallyoffended by something, when you
can not have to be reactive, or,you know, in control, trying to
control it or keep it or keep itthe same or whatever. That's
when you're going okay, I'mletting go a little bit. My ego
was not driving the ship. I'mstepping back and listening to
(06:18):
my true voice, right?
Fortune (06:22):
Well, something simple like yesterday, I remember when
I went out to the car, and I sawthere was a scratch on like, Oh,
God, I was like, so proud ofyou. And I was like, okay, you
know, this is it's not real. Youknow, this is just the challenge
right here. I knew that one ofthe boys had scratched the car,
and I just didn't get upset. Iwas like, This is not real. I
(06:43):
will, you know, just ask themnicely. If somebody did it. Of
course, you know, Liam, he didoffer his apologies. He said to
me today? No, it's not a date.
Okay? Yes. But I didn't getupset. I didn't get upset. And I
didn't let my ego take over andgo, he can't do this and did it.
You know, like, right, you'reright. So I was thinking, well
(07:05):
could be proactive, while we'llmake them clean the car or
something proactive, you know,to make them learn their lesson.
But actually, I learnedsomething because I didn't react
today. He was like, well, it wasmy bicycle. It was an accident.
It scratched it when I waspulling it up the driveway. That
was a beautiful frame. What
Jean (07:23):
did you just do with your son there, you just created
trust that he can come to youand tell you what actually
happened? And he's not going toget a reaction? Are you going to
get love and understanding butgood parenting of well, when
something like this happens,this is what we do. Or you
shouldn't have done that orright. You know, whatever it is
and why
Fortune (07:43):
because I didn't let my ego run the ship, right?
Jean (07:47):
Because like when some people were saying, Oh, you go
is my drive. It's my, you know,it's what it was. It's what made
me who I am today, okay? Likethose can all seem like valid
experiences and the experienceis valid. Okay, but it's
opposite. What we're trying todo here is spiritually pinpoint
that the perception of the selfthat resists transformation is
(08:12):
your ego and
Fortune (08:13):
your ego, right? Yes, it's your body consciousness,
right? It's just so anycomfortable, you know, it's,
it's okay. That's what I callbody consciousness. Because it's
like, okay, what, it's thecomfort, right? Because we don't
want to
Jean (08:25):
stop being your amazing self, we want to build on your
amazing self, we want your truelight shining through we want we
want in the transformation,because every time we transform
or or put in a positive change,or you're just talking, you are
not reactive. Okay? The ego diesa little bit. And your true self
comes through. Louder,
Fortune (08:44):
right? Louder. Yeah.
Nice. Yeah. And that's, that'swhat is the goal? And I hate
hate to say it, it's choices. Ialways say this to the kids. Bad
choice. Good choice, right?
Yeah, no, bad choice. And
Jean (08:56):
wait, I gotta say something that's okay. Because
because it's abouttransformation. And it's also
about humility. So in that, inthat to living without the ego,
without that reactivity, withoutthat resistance to change, you
are freeing yourself, okay, fromthis created delusional state of
how you have to act or how youhave to think or be or whatever.
(09:19):
So, should in that I should, Ishould add, that is my that's my
go to that's my go to, that'swhat's going to make this. It
always worked in the past. Whyisn't it working now? But when
you stop, like you just didyesterday, right? You're
cultivating an acceptance ofanother. Oh, was beautiful,
right? And you're also missingyour imperfect self and their
(09:40):
imperfect self and that's okay.
It's a healthy choice. Okay. I
Fortune (09:43):
didn't get upset and you were open to listen. I was
open to listen. I didn't likeokay, whatever. It's a car. It's
a scratch, big deal. Whatever,we can buff it out. It's not a
problem. What is more important,my relationship with my child is
more important, right? Okay.
Yes, I I want to teach himwhat's right and wrong, but
there's a different way of goingabout it than getting myself all
that to be wound up. And that'ssomething that, you know, I feel
(10:07):
like
Jean (10:11):
we don't have to destroy everything we believe in to be
respectful of tolerant ofothers.
Fortune (10:15):
Yes. But I think that we were raised as well, though
we were raised and not aproactive we were, we were
raised in more of a disciplinaryera. Okay, where if you did
something wrong, you gotpunished, you know, and it was
an automatic thing. You know, itwas very reactive. I feel like
in my house, when you weretrying,
Jean (10:34):
you wasn't necessarily the action, sometimes it's you're
being punished for, but you arenot living up to your ideal of
the perfect child.
Fortune (10:42):
Right. And we, and we do do that. Yeah, we do do that
with everybody. You know, Imean, with your friends, your
family, your husband, yourchildren, whatever, right.
Jean (10:51):
But that's not let's not, okay, that's not looking at
what's good for everybody.
Fortune (10:56):
No, it's looking what's good for you. For you. That's
where you can say that is thegood for the self, perfectly
good for the stuff becauseperfect example, when the ego is
driving the boat is when youwant to blame somebody else. Oh,
every time we blame, that's it.
Having diminishing your ego istaking responsibility for
everything in your life. Youknow, so if we're doing that, we
(11:20):
know we're on the right course.
Yeah, we are on the right.
Course
Jean (11:26):
and welcoming and welcoming the experience.
Fortune (11:31):
Oh, yeah. To get that humility to? Well, it's being
humble. It's there's a biggerpicture here. Much bigger
picture than what's right infront of me.
Jean (11:41):
Right? Because each experience is different. It may
look the same. Oh, something badhappened. So I have to correct
and now this, you know, you saythis. So I say that next and
that becomes like becomes a ruta routine? Oh, yeah, you get
used to it's like automaticright? And automatic response.
(12:02):
And no one by the playbook.
Okay, eventually is going to notbe successful. On some level.
Right, right.
Fortune (12:10):
Now, yesterday, I didn't know I didn't really see
the big picture. But I wastrusting that that was that that
reaction that I did no reactionor the soft reaction of it made
now looking at the big picture,it was beautiful. Okay,
something good came out of it.
You know what I mean? Youweren't being robotic, right?
And having that challenge madethat resulted in that beautiful
(12:33):
result? You know what I mean? Soit was really, you know,
Jean (12:40):
I mean, every time something happens to us, we have
to realize you don't want tochange. Okay, so a lesson Yeah.
When when something happens, andyou go or something that you're
feeling or whatever, and it's achange, you don't want that
change? Why is it changing? Idon't want it to change, I want
it to stay the same. I want itto, I can rely on that, or
that's, that's how I am orthat's who you are. That all
(13:03):
encompasses staying in thisrobotic state of putting the
blinders on putting the blinderson. And, you know, you know, we
had talked about this offset alittle bit. But you know, a
great example of that, as atoddler having a temper tantrum,
when did those temper tantrumsflare up in a child is when all
of a sudden, they have to takeresponsibility for what they've
(13:24):
done or getting something donefor themselves, right? They
don't want to they don't want toget dressed and put their shoes
on. And they know they don'twant to go to the pod. Right?
Right. They don't want to thatused to do all that for me. My
you? My world revolves.
Everything revolves around me,right? So when you start taking
those things away, and it'sgoing, Okay, well, now you need
to be responsible and selfreliant. And, you know, why are
(13:44):
you doing that? And that's not agood thing. All of a sudden,
you're putting in these conceptsthat are like, Well, wait a
minute, right? No, right? That'smine. And why aren't you when
Fortune (13:55):
I know that's the thing is open your eyes to a whole new
world, right? Everything thatyou need to do you need to do
for the sake of sharing not justfor yourself, you need to do it
for the greater good of everyoneelse. Everyone else. I know we
were just talking this morning.
I love teaching Love yourneighbor as yourself, you know,
and that's something that'sreally hard because the ego gets
in the way of that, you know, itreally does. So does it once
(14:17):
it's me, me, me, you know, it'ssome I want this to look like
this. I you know, it's theperception of everything.
You're, you're you're judgingeverything, you're judging
everything with your ego, andyou're almost judging
Jean (14:34):
else also unhealthy. Like Like sometimes I think we're so
submerged in our physicality andin our like, I was saying our
robotic or our even emotions oreverything is like we are so in
the muck here. That it's when wehave those moments where we're
not in the muck. It's like ah,we get it we see what we're
(14:57):
doing or whatever, but it can bepainful. Yes, it can be very
painful pain is a part of theprocess. Pain is a big part of
the process. Suffering does notneed to be a part of the
process. That's the No, right?
No, you don't need to you don'tneed to suffer. But but
sometimes in pain, you dosuffer. But it is saying, Okay,
well, I recognize the pain has apurpose, right? The lesson the
letters of lesson in that Yes.
(15:19):
And, and it's through thecatalyst of the pain that
sometimes you wouldn't get it inany other way now, and any other
way. And sometimes it's evenpainful when you have friction
in a relationship. And it'slike, well, wait a minute, and
you have to almost all of asudden desire, like what's more
important, what I want, orwhat's good for the whole?
Fortune (15:38):
Well, it's the same thing with that voice, like,
sometimes, you know, my husbandwill trigger me with saying
something, and the voice comesright aloud, and goes all There
he goes again, or whatever, youknow, trying to get it. And then
if I just flip it and go, Wow,this man loves you so much just
go into a different head. Right?
All those beautiful things. It'slike, I don't really care. What
(16:01):
is right now, you know what Imean? Like, I have to have that
love, I have to find that lovewith everyone, no matter who it
is me off. You know what I mean?
You have to find the love. Andthen what happens? That love
gets returned to you. You know,but if you can only get it from
(16:23):
sharing.
Jean (16:24):
And it's, it's, it's a vulnerable state. It's a humble
state to be in. And, you know,it can especially like when
you're first like experiencingthose things, and you're really
going through those changes oftransformation yourself. It can
be very uncomfortable to feelthat way. Because you are
because when the ego shield,Zoom comes down, right, your
(16:46):
defense mode, you're exposed,and you're open. And you're like
saying the other way, when youtake it away and taking it down.
It can be really taking awayyour what's gonna happen next. I
don't know might and I don'tknow, and I'm not going to
control it. My goodness. Howscary is that? It can be
terrifying, and it can feelexhilarating. You're well in the
(17:06):
after if we weren't if you ifyou if you follow through, yeah,
if you if you ride it out andjust let go of the wheel and let
you know ride the wave ride thatwave a little bit. You're gonna
see that you're going to come toa place that wow, you would have
never gotten could have nevergotten there know what a relief,
right? What a relief, we the egois a heavy thing. And we carry
(17:28):
it around every day. Like it isthe best thing in the world. And
it's like a coating on us. Andit's gotta protect them armor
and whatnot. Let's get it off.
Man. I don't want to be in war.
I don't want to be whatever. I'mnot here to love everybody. I'm
here to connect with everybody Iwant to share. And I'm not
afraid I shouldn't be afraid ofwhat you're gonna think of me or
what you're gonna, you know, Itrust that whatever you think of
(17:48):
me, I'm okay.
Fortune (17:49):
Right? Well, it's just like, you know, when you first
meet somebody, you go on a dateand you put on makeup, you do
your hair, this but your bestand whatever. And you want to
put it out there because youwant them to see you like that.
Okay, certain way. But thenreally, I mean, when you think
about a relationship when youdon't have any of that anymore.
Okay? That is really where thelove comes from the real you
(18:14):
without the makeup without theclothes, without the hair.
Jean (18:18):
What was it that you? Are those serendipity moments
sometimes the best? Yes,absolutely. You just meet
somebody and it's just likeyou're not, you know, paired,
right? You're just her notright, right. Just had I had a
great relationship start likethat. Yeah. Well, I met a
gentleman in an elevator andjust got, you know, boom, boom,
(18:39):
right? And it was like, What theheck, you know, there was no
setup, there was no, right,right? And persona out there,
right. And we got out of theelevator and didn't, it was
like, wait a minute, I need tokeep talking to that person
comes out. There was such anenergy and a connection. And it
was beautiful. And it was justlike, What the heck was that?
Right? You know, there was noego there that it really wasn't
(19:01):
ego is just so natural andwhatever.
Fortune (19:03):
That's the that's the relationships we want to
cultivate with everyone. Yeah,we want to use our essence we
want to use our true voice. Andwe'll get
Jean (19:13):
back to this tricky thing, you know, Oh, yeah. The tricks.
Oh, yeah. There's somethingcalled you know, we learned in
self awareness that it to becomemore self aware that there's
this there's something called areverse ego. Yes. So, you know,
sometimes people can take like,you're saying, It's tricky,
like, Well, I'm not I don't havean ego. I'm so humble. I don't
need the extra piece of pie. Youtake it, or I don't, I don't
(19:36):
need a fancy car or I don't neednice things. Or I won't go get
that for myself. Because youknow, you do it honey, you take
it you know, that is you'restill calling attention to
yourself.
Fortune (19:47):
If you want to become that person, right? That gives
everything
Jean (19:52):
still a persona Yeah, to be you. There's nothing wrong
with being giving but it's theconsciousness behind it.
salutely And you know, we all dothat too. certain degree, we
create these little personas andwe think, Ah, you look at me I'm
this, you know, but once you dothat your, your wire, you may
not even be aware that you'redoing it you lost once you do
(20:14):
that you lost because
Fortune (20:19):
it's, it's an impulse, it's you don't really you don't
see it coming. You know, I mean,all of a sudden it shows up and
you're like, oh my goodness,well, you know, like, I don't
even
Jean (20:28):
know what I'm doing that you don't want kids or great
meat or when my mother mydaughter will turn around to me,
and I'm trying to like over. Doyou have this? Do you need that?
Can I get for you? And she'slike, Mom, helicopter, it's
okay. It'll be fine. And I'mjust sort of like, whoa, you
know, right, right. What am Itrying to like? Why am I doing
(20:50):
over? Yeah, over you know, andsaying everything I know, she
and I are fine. And I know, youknow, I am I doing it? Well
Fortune (20:56):
talk about overcompensating look at a
bully. Yeah, they do that theyuse the ego. They don't want
tough and rough and whatever. Iknow, when I when I first moved
to Florida, I started highschool. Yeah,
Jean (21:08):
but they're really somebody that's probably been
bullied or hurt. Yes,
Fortune (21:11):
absolutely. But I mean, you have to put on this persona.
So I was went to a little bit ofa rough high school when I first
moved here to Florida. Yeah. Andyeah, it was a little short,
only for 11, or whatever, smallperson or whatever. So I had to
take on this persona of like,this tough, broad, from New
(21:31):
York, I wanted this, I wantedthis reputation, because I
didn't want anybody to fight meor what because like, in those
days, you know, those happen,you know, and it was really
hard, because like you had abalance that like I didn't know
where I wanted to be me. But Icouldn't be me. I felt like I
couldn't be me. Because of Ididn't want to get bullied.
(21:51):
Yeah, you know, so? Well,obviously, someone
Jean (21:55):
like that, like, I used to talk a little bit about how I
used to be, you know, in a band,and I used to write music and
bla bla bla, and you know, it'sdifferent now, because things
have evolved. But at that time,it wasn't that common to have a
female singer or a female lead aleader, right. And I grew up and
(22:16):
it was, it was basically, I wasone of the central people and I
had a vision for how it shouldgo. So dealing with all of that
male energy, you have to put ona persona I put on this persona.
Right, right, I became all ofthe successful women in the
music industry in one body,right.
Fortune (22:34):
But when we have to let the ego take over, then it leads
to more bad choices. Yes, I'mreleasing
Jean (22:39):
all of that. That was the beginning of my journey of real
self transformation. Because tolet go of all of those layers,
like I'm sure you like, with thehigh school experience, say I
don't need to be that I don'twant to be that anymore. It's
not serving me, right. But whatam I really choosing
Fortune (22:55):
that what I'm saying, choosing that makes you have
makes you go down the path ofbad choices will go down on
that. Well, I'm saying like,once you have this persona, you
have to live up to it. Oh, sonow, tonight, you got to make
bad choices, you know, not good,you know, you have to do you
know, whatever. So you have tokeep you have to keep keep it
up. You know, I mean, you haveto keep it up, or I think that
(23:17):
you're this way. So now you haveto keep being that way, right?
Well,
Jean (23:21):
here's, here's where it can get tricky. Okay. So like
for me for you, you might havebeen doing bad behavior. For me.
It was like almost charging mycareer in that field, because I
had to live up to that, right.
But it was still not good forme. And it wasn't all it wasn't
the right space. It wasn't thegood consciousness. It wasn't
all inclusive. It was about me,you know, being the center. And
(23:45):
yes, I included people of courseI did. But but it really at the
end of the day was I had thisvision in my head of who I was
going to be and what I wanted toput across, and that's on a
bigger scale, maybe than a dayto day experience. But that's
really what needs to bedissected in, we all need to
take those moments to kind ofexamine our time and what we're
(24:08):
trying to achieve here. Is itinclusive?
Fortune (24:13):
Yes. Is it
Jean (24:13):
loving? Is it doesn't light you up? It doesn't light
you up?
Fortune (24:19):
Does it lead others? Or are you just getting stressed
and and anxious about it?
Because you have to be thisperson? You know what I mean?
Jean (24:27):
was exhausting. It's like what when Jim Carrey says, you
know, depression is your avatarbasically telling you they don't
want to be this creationanymore. They're done. It's too
much. It's too much. Well,
Fortune (24:37):
it's just like when you're also raised, you know, to
be a certain way and all youhave to, you know, you have to
get married and have childrenand put pressure and stuff like
that. That is you know, so youthink oh my goodness, this is
what I have to do. And then youwake up one day and go, that's
not me. Well,
Jean (24:55):
I think we're all waking up. I think we're all waking up
to this ideal that we didn'tneed Dangerous, we didn't have
that ideal for ourselves. Wedidn't wake up and say, You know
what, I think I want this orI've had some time to feel it
through. And this is my choices.
I think this generation comingnow is making better choices.
Like they're saying, You knowwhat, I'm not ready to do that
yet. Or I think I'm gonna putoff college for a year or two
(25:15):
and explore, or I'm gonna notget married at 20 or 25. I'm
gonna wait until I'm 30. Ormaybe I'm not gonna have a baby
until I'm what, you know, butwhat we grew up in an
environment, which was like, youknow, I didn't get married, and
I wasn't having kids. And so abunch of kids, I was traveling
around or is like, what theheck,
Fortune (25:37):
right? You know, that of instead of thinking so much,
I think we need to feel how arewe feeling about this? Right?
You know what I mean? Is thisreally sitting with us? Is this
making me happy? Right, or is itjust that I'm thinking? what is
expected of me too much anything
Jean (25:56):
is poison. Okay. So if you're doing too much of what
you think other people think youshould be doing, or some ideal
that's been thrust upon? Yeah,that's it. You got it. Yeah. No,
you're just you're just you'renot healthy. Now, your soul is
not healthy. So all of our soulsare sick on some level, and we
need to cultivate some some selfcare.
Fortune (26:18):
Right, right. Right.
It's, it's we called theadversary, the ego, okay. The
opponent, the opponent, theadversary. And understanding
that adversary will help us winthe game. Yeah.
Jean (26:30):
Let them take the hit.
Right.
Fortune (26:32):
Let him take the hit.
Yeah. Because the understand towhen you know what I mean? Oh,
well, he you know, he does this.
Yeah. Okay. I have to remember,okay. When this happens, that
triggers me every time. So nowwhen that happens, I have to be
aware that that is going totrigger me. So now the next time
that happens? Pause. Yes. Take aminute.
Jean (26:54):
You don't win that round.
And then he's Oh, change whichangles? Oh, yeah.
Fortune (26:58):
But wait a minute.
Okay. But still, you get thepoints. You get the point. I got
a point yesterday. Okay, how Ireacted to that scratch on the
car. I got a point. So that'swhat I'm saying. So it's really
I mean, it's, it's, it'sinvigorating. It's not just a
point. You feel like newbornright.
Jean (27:16):
I think that's how it starts in the beginning. It's
like, you feel like this, like,Okay, I've, I've gotten I won
that match. But I think the moreyou exercise that muscle, the
more you get to the point whereyou're saying, Gosh, I feel
better being this way. No. Morelike me. Oh, absolutely. I don't
want to be that other. Right.
Fortune (27:37):
Right. Right. The ego judges, the ego judges,
everything. Yeah. Okay. But oursoul wants to shine our light.
Jean (27:47):
Well, when we think there's nothing left that we
have to learn, okay. Wrong, ortruly experience. We're in a
loop with ourselves. Right?
We're on a
Fortune (27:57):
car. We know it all.
Yeah, I know it all. Yeah, youknow, and that might feel sad
those at all. Yeah,
Jean (28:02):
but you're not being vulnerable. You're not being
humble, you're not connecting,you're not thriving, you're not
changing, you're nottransforming, right. And that is
when and let go a little bit ofthe ego, and
Fortune (28:14):
how wonderful it is when we do our studies, when
we're learning the same lessonagain, and we're like, wow,
yeah, that's amazing, because Iknew this, but I didn't know it
know it like this, you know,what I mean? There's all
different ways and angles andto, you know, unpack it and, and
really go, oh, wow, that'sreally going to help me. You
(28:35):
know, I think the most importantthing is the Pause,
Jean (28:40):
pause. And it's also and this is gonna sound a little
heady. But um, you know, wewe've kind of been sold this
idea whether it's through themedia, or Hollywood or music, or
whatever it is that, that thisis all supposed to be just some
kind of, you know, MGM musical,and or Broadway show, and it's
(29:01):
all happily ever after. Andthere are moments of that. And
those things are beautiful. Butwe're really here to learn, and
to have this experience and inthat learning, and in that
experience, there is pain, theego does not want pain. The ego
wants the Hollywood experienceand is going to do everything it
(29:22):
can, but you're really notliving life. You're exhausted
trying to keep up thatappearance.
Fortune (29:27):
Yes, but the pain can be shortened it by suffering,
sure,
Jean (29:31):
but what I'm saying is, is that it's not like we should
live in pain all the time.
Fortune (29:35):
I understand what you're saying. There has to be
challenges, but it has said whywe're here right and as enchant
Jean (29:41):
you know, we just listened to a wonderful lecture and he
said alive if you could go back,okay, we we've learned this
lesson before it's like give memore hit me again. Because every
time you experience that if youcan get over that hurdle and not
right now not embrace, notembrace the the
Fortune (30:01):
The feeling of wanting the comfort, the comfort and
Jean (30:04):
the and, and having the praise or whatever dealing
Fortune (30:06):
with it, right avoiding it, right and part of the ego,
you just let it break
Jean (30:11):
down a little bit. And I don't mean it has to be this
painful thing, but just that youcan be aware of the fact that
you need to let go of that onsome level, you need to say,
this is not really who I am.
And, and even when that triggercomes, I'm going to react
differently, I'm going to reactdifferently and I'm going to not
have to be so reactive or, or,or emotionally responsive or,
or, or, or hold on so much to anideal that I didn't even, I'd
(30:36):
have you gotta do I just wastold that's when you're supposed
to do
Fortune (30:42):
you gotta jump, right?
Because it's gonna feelwonderful. It's gonna feel
wonderful that you have thattrust. That's what it's also
it's okay, trusting the Creator,that it's all going to be good.
It's gonna be fabulous. It'sgonna be amazing,
Jean (30:56):
but it's okay to see. I don't know. And it's okay to say
I don't want that anymore. Andit's okay to say this pattern
between us. We need to change itand we need to analyze
Fortune (31:04):
change. Yeah, change is the main and that's the ego
doesn't want right, any changeor transformation. So can we
agree that diminishing the egois the main transformation that
we are following in thisjourney? Where in this journey?
(31:25):
Yeah, less is more, less ismore. Okay. Well,
Jean (31:29):
I think we do understand this to a certain degree. And I
think we're going to becontinually working on this not
just daily, but I guess minuteby minute, and well, we're here
for each other. We're here foreach other and everyone else and
everybody else. Write us,connect with us. We want to hear
from you.
Fortune (31:51):
If you enjoyed this episode, please follow like and
share this podcast.
Jean (31:56):
For more sparks of light, follow circuitry on social
media, look for the light bulband become a podcast subscriber
on our website for more podcastcontent.
Fortune (32:05):
We love hearing from you all. So share questions
story or a topic that we canexplore.
Jean (32:11):
Email us at fn J at Ignite circuitry.com. And don't forget
to ignite your life
Welcome all to circuitry. It's time to ignite
your life.
Jean (00:08):
Join us as we explore this episode's thought provoking
topic and what it means to usthrough everyday life challenges
and practical spiritual tools.
Fortune (00:16):
So let's start sharing.
Hello, darling.
Jean (00:20):
Hello, darling. How you doing? I'm doing good. It's
springing a spring and springsprung. I love it. Yes,
Fortune (00:28):
the energy change is just amazing for me. Oh,
Jean (00:33):
yeah. energy change has been intense. of what's going on
right now? Yes, definitely. Likewe took a whole week off.
Because of the energy change.
Yes,
Fortune (00:43):
we needed to recharge.
And we needed the energy, theenergy to change change. Yeah,
Jean (00:49):
I thought it was I thought it was actually amazing that we
made that decision to just stepback. And it was like stopping
just this almost routine. Yeah.
And, and by pulling back, we allof a sudden got all these great
ideas. And
Fortune (01:04):
yeah, especially with the subject of ego.
Jean (01:08):
Yes. Today's thought provoking topic. As ego? Yes, it
Fortune (01:14):
is. And there's a lot to think about. There is a
topic? Yes. It's not, you know,it's not so black and white all
the time?
Jean (01:23):
No, because, you know, we're talking about this a
little bit before the show. Andyou were saying how, you know,
the ego is going to trick us?
Yes. Always trying. So maybe weshould try. And you know,
there's a lot of conceptions onwhat, you know, an ego is or,
you know, people perceiving whattheir ego is. And there's a lot
(01:44):
of psychological definitions ofit, and spiritual definitions,
and everybody has a differentpersonality, right? So it's
just, it can get complicated forpeople, like when we talk about
it, it can be like, Well, somepeople will say, Oh, well, you
know, my egos. What drives me,it makes me successful, it makes
(02:05):
me
Fortune (02:08):
well, the ego wants you to think that, you know,
Jean (02:11):
that that's, you know, that's, that's, that could be
perceived as, quote unquote,ego. But really, it's, it's your
sense of purpose, you know,right. So
Fortune (02:24):
and if that's what's driving you, then you're in
trouble. Oh, yeah,
Jean (02:27):
it can, it can be what's trouble, but it all can be game
of semantics. You know, we'renot here to like, tell people
Oh, what do you think is wrong?
And what we think is, right,we're just exploring the
subject. Right? And, and how
Fortune (02:40):
it's so important right now, to really, to understand
what your ego is doing, right?
Because our whole point of thisis transformation. It's a
cleansing time right now, right?
So we need to take all those badhabits, and all those things
that we want to get rid of,right. And the ego drives most
(03:01):
of those things. So we want totake those things we want to,
you know, try to get rid ofthem. Well,
Jean (03:06):
it's your identity, it's how you see yourself. And, you
know, it's too much pridesometimes. Or it can turn into
arrogance, or it can turn intoyou, it's almost like, this is
this is me. And you can getstuck in this as me, right?
Fortune (03:26):
Well, because you care about what people think. Right?
So that's the problem with thatis we think about, well, how do
I look to the other person. So Ithink that other person would
want me to look like this. Sothen I change who I am, and
become something different. Yes.
And it's not the real,
Jean (03:43):
you know, it's not the real you. So and the goal is to
is to build on the true self andto diminish any false qualities
or false personas you're puttingforth in order to fit in in
order to be successful than to,to you know, I talk sometimes
about being in the corporateworld I used to, you know, I
(04:05):
made a joke when I was exitingin North or whatever I used to
call you on the phone on the go,I got I gotta go put on my my HR
costume. Right, right, right,because you're a different
person,
Fortune (04:13):
you have a different persona, right? And your ego
helps you with that. Oh, butit's not doesn't make you happy.
That's not where you were happy?
No, it was. And that's where Icould do it. Like right now you
don't have to put on a suit toknow that just because you write
this gene doesn't mean and thisis fortune. And let's just talk
about for a minute that we havetwo voices in our head. We do
(04:36):
and always right. And I thinkthat a lot of times the more
stress we have in our life Iknow for me that ego voice is
the first voice I hear you knowif I get upset or something
that's so that's why I'm doingthat protection of yourself as a
fence rival almost of the, ofthe of the, of the ego is oh is
(04:57):
fighting to survive. Right?
Right. But that's that's thetime. That's why we say pause
all the time, because we'relistening to that voice that we
should not listen to. And that'swhy we need to pause and listen
for the other voice that kind ofhas the voice of reason. You
know what I mean? The voice oflove the voice of, you know,
(05:19):
compassion, and all of that. Andthat will lead you down a much
better path, because the choicesthat you might make, when that
ego voice speaks to you, theymight feel good for the moment,
but it won't last,
Jean (05:33):
you know, won't last. It won't last. And you know, like,
you know, I always like to golike, what's the opposite? What
are we talking about here? Youknow. So I think what I was kind
of when I was mulling thisthrough is like, when you lose,
or are able to be aware even ofyour reactivity, right, or your
personal offense to something oryour resistance to something,
(05:56):
that's when you can lose it orwhen you can, then you're you're
on track to diminishing the ego.
When you could not be personallyoffended by something, when you
can not have to be reactive, or,you know, in control, trying to
control it or keep it or keep itthe same or whatever. That's
when you're going okay, I'mletting go a little bit. My ego
was not driving the ship. I'mstepping back and listening to
(06:18):
my true voice, right?
Fortune (06:22):
Well, something simple like yesterday, I remember when
I went out to the car, and I sawthere was a scratch on like, Oh,
God, I was like, so proud ofyou. And I was like, okay, you
know, this is it's not real. Youknow, this is just the challenge
right here. I knew that one ofthe boys had scratched the car,
and I just didn't get upset. Iwas like, This is not real. I
(06:43):
will, you know, just ask themnicely. If somebody did it. Of
course, you know, Liam, he didoffer his apologies. He said to
me today? No, it's not a date.
Okay? Yes. But I didn't getupset. I didn't get upset. And I
didn't let my ego take over andgo, he can't do this and did it.
You know, like, right, you'reright. So I was thinking, well
(07:05):
could be proactive, while we'llmake them clean the car or
something proactive, you know,to make them learn their lesson.
But actually, I learnedsomething because I didn't react
today. He was like, well, it wasmy bicycle. It was an accident.
It scratched it when I waspulling it up the driveway. That
was a beautiful frame. What
Jean (07:23):
did you just do with your son there, you just created
trust that he can come to youand tell you what actually
happened? And he's not going toget a reaction? Are you going to
get love and understanding butgood parenting of well, when
something like this happens,this is what we do. Or you
shouldn't have done that orright. You know, whatever it is
and why
Fortune (07:43):
because I didn't let my ego run the ship, right?
Jean (07:47):
Because like when some people were saying, Oh, you go
is my drive. It's my, you know,it's what it was. It's what made
me who I am today, okay? Likethose can all seem like valid
experiences and the experienceis valid. Okay, but it's
opposite. What we're trying todo here is spiritually pinpoint
that the perception of the selfthat resists transformation is
(08:12):
your ego and
Fortune (08:13):
your ego, right? Yes, it's your body consciousness,
right? It's just so anycomfortable, you know, it's,
it's okay. That's what I callbody consciousness. Because it's
like, okay, what, it's thecomfort, right? Because we don't
want to
Jean (08:25):
stop being your amazing self, we want to build on your
amazing self, we want your truelight shining through we want we
want in the transformation,because every time we transform
or or put in a positive change,or you're just talking, you are
not reactive. Okay? The ego diesa little bit. And your true self
comes through. Louder,
Fortune (08:44):
right? Louder. Yeah.
Nice. Yeah. And that's, that'swhat is the goal? And I hate
hate to say it, it's choices. Ialways say this to the kids. Bad
choice. Good choice, right?
Yeah, no, bad choice. And
Jean (08:56):
wait, I gotta say something that's okay. Because
because it's abouttransformation. And it's also
about humility. So in that, inthat to living without the ego,
without that reactivity, withoutthat resistance to change, you
are freeing yourself, okay, fromthis created delusional state of
how you have to act or how youhave to think or be or whatever.
(09:19):
So, should in that I should, Ishould add, that is my that's my
go to that's my go to, that'swhat's going to make this. It
always worked in the past. Whyisn't it working now? But when
you stop, like you just didyesterday, right? You're
cultivating an acceptance ofanother. Oh, was beautiful,
right? And you're also missingyour imperfect self and their
(09:40):
imperfect self and that's okay.
It's a healthy choice. Okay. I
Fortune (09:43):
didn't get upset and you were open to listen. I was
open to listen. I didn't likeokay, whatever. It's a car. It's
a scratch, big deal. Whatever,we can buff it out. It's not a
problem. What is more important,my relationship with my child is
more important, right? Okay.
Yes, I I want to teach himwhat's right and wrong, but
there's a different way of goingabout it than getting myself all
that to be wound up. And that'ssomething that, you know, I feel
(10:07):
like
Jean (10:11):
we don't have to destroy everything we believe in to be
respectful of tolerant ofothers.
Fortune (10:15):
Yes. But I think that we were raised as well, though
we were raised and not aproactive we were, we were
raised in more of a disciplinaryera. Okay, where if you did
something wrong, you gotpunished, you know, and it was
an automatic thing. You know, itwas very reactive. I feel like
in my house, when you weretrying,
Jean (10:34):
you wasn't necessarily the action, sometimes it's you're
being punished for, but you arenot living up to your ideal of
the perfect child.
Fortune (10:42):
Right. And we, and we do do that. Yeah, we do do that
with everybody. You know, Imean, with your friends, your
family, your husband, yourchildren, whatever, right.
Jean (10:51):
But that's not let's not, okay, that's not looking at
what's good for everybody.
Fortune (10:56):
No, it's looking what's good for you. For you. That's
where you can say that is thegood for the self, perfectly
good for the stuff becauseperfect example, when the ego is
driving the boat is when youwant to blame somebody else. Oh,
every time we blame, that's it.
Having diminishing your ego istaking responsibility for
everything in your life. Youknow, so if we're doing that, we
(11:20):
know we're on the right course.
Yeah, we are on the right.
Course
Jean (11:26):
and welcoming and welcoming the experience.
Fortune (11:31):
Oh, yeah. To get that humility to? Well, it's being
humble. It's there's a biggerpicture here. Much bigger
picture than what's right infront of me.
Jean (11:41):
Right? Because each experience is different. It may
look the same. Oh, something badhappened. So I have to correct
and now this, you know, you saythis. So I say that next and
that becomes like becomes a ruta routine? Oh, yeah, you get
used to it's like automaticright? And automatic response.
(12:02):
And no one by the playbook.
Okay, eventually is going to notbe successful. On some level.
Right, right.
Fortune (12:10):
Now, yesterday, I didn't know I didn't really see
the big picture. But I wastrusting that that was that that
reaction that I did no reactionor the soft reaction of it made
now looking at the big picture,it was beautiful. Okay,
something good came out of it.
You know what I mean? Youweren't being robotic, right?
And having that challenge madethat resulted in that beautiful
(12:33):
result? You know what I mean? Soit was really, you know,
Jean (12:40):
I mean, every time something happens to us, we have
to realize you don't want tochange. Okay, so a lesson Yeah.
When when something happens, andyou go or something that you're
feeling or whatever, and it's achange, you don't want that
change? Why is it changing? Idon't want it to change, I want
it to stay the same. I want itto, I can rely on that, or
that's, that's how I am orthat's who you are. That all
(13:03):
encompasses staying in thisrobotic state of putting the
blinders on putting the blinderson. And, you know, you know, we
had talked about this offset alittle bit. But you know, a
great example of that, as atoddler having a temper tantrum,
when did those temper tantrumsflare up in a child is when all
of a sudden, they have to takeresponsibility for what they've
(13:24):
done or getting something donefor themselves, right? They
don't want to they don't want toget dressed and put their shoes
on. And they know they don'twant to go to the pod. Right?
Right. They don't want to thatused to do all that for me. My
you? My world revolves.
Everything revolves around me,right? So when you start taking
those things away, and it'sgoing, Okay, well, now you need
to be responsible and selfreliant. And, you know, why are
(13:44):
you doing that? And that's not agood thing. All of a sudden,
you're putting in these conceptsthat are like, Well, wait a
minute, right? No, right? That'smine. And why aren't you when
Fortune (13:55):
I know that's the thing is open your eyes to a whole new
world, right? Everything thatyou need to do you need to do
for the sake of sharing not justfor yourself, you need to do it
for the greater good of everyoneelse. Everyone else. I know we
were just talking this morning.
I love teaching Love yourneighbor as yourself, you know,
and that's something that'sreally hard because the ego gets
in the way of that, you know, itreally does. So does it once
(14:17):
it's me, me, me, you know, it'ssome I want this to look like
this. I you know, it's theperception of everything.
You're, you're you're judgingeverything, you're judging
everything with your ego, andyou're almost judging
Jean (14:34):
else also unhealthy. Like Like sometimes I think we're so
submerged in our physicality andin our like, I was saying our
robotic or our even emotions oreverything is like we are so in
the muck here. That it's when wehave those moments where we're
not in the muck. It's like ah,we get it we see what we're
(14:57):
doing or whatever, but it can bepainful. Yes, it can be very
painful pain is a part of theprocess. Pain is a big part of
the process. Suffering does notneed to be a part of the
process. That's the No, right?
No, you don't need to you don'tneed to suffer. But but
sometimes in pain, you dosuffer. But it is saying, Okay,
well, I recognize the pain has apurpose, right? The lesson the
letters of lesson in that Yes.
(15:19):
And, and it's through thecatalyst of the pain that
sometimes you wouldn't get it inany other way now, and any other
way. And sometimes it's evenpainful when you have friction
in a relationship. And it'slike, well, wait a minute, and
you have to almost all of asudden desire, like what's more
important, what I want, orwhat's good for the whole?
Fortune (15:38):
Well, it's the same thing with that voice, like,
sometimes, you know, my husbandwill trigger me with saying
something, and the voice comesright aloud, and goes all There
he goes again, or whatever, youknow, trying to get it. And then
if I just flip it and go, Wow,this man loves you so much just
go into a different head. Right?
All those beautiful things. It'slike, I don't really care. What
(16:01):
is right now, you know what Imean? Like, I have to have that
love, I have to find that lovewith everyone, no matter who it
is me off. You know what I mean?
You have to find the love. Andthen what happens? That love
gets returned to you. You know,but if you can only get it from
(16:23):
sharing.
Jean (16:24):
And it's, it's, it's a vulnerable state. It's a humble
state to be in. And, you know,it can especially like when
you're first like experiencingthose things, and you're really
going through those changes oftransformation yourself. It can
be very uncomfortable to feelthat way. Because you are
because when the ego shield,Zoom comes down, right, your
(16:46):
defense mode, you're exposed,and you're open. And you're like
saying the other way, when youtake it away and taking it down.
It can be really taking awayyour what's gonna happen next. I
don't know might and I don'tknow, and I'm not going to
control it. My goodness. Howscary is that? It can be
terrifying, and it can feelexhilarating. You're well in the
(17:06):
after if we weren't if you ifyou if you follow through, yeah,
if you if you ride it out andjust let go of the wheel and let
you know ride the wave ride thatwave a little bit. You're gonna
see that you're going to come toa place that wow, you would have
never gotten could have nevergotten there know what a relief,
right? What a relief, we the egois a heavy thing. And we carry
(17:28):
it around every day. Like it isthe best thing in the world. And
it's like a coating on us. Andit's gotta protect them armor
and whatnot. Let's get it off.
Man. I don't want to be in war.
I don't want to be whatever. I'mnot here to love everybody. I'm
here to connect with everybody Iwant to share. And I'm not
afraid I shouldn't be afraid ofwhat you're gonna think of me or
what you're gonna, you know, Itrust that whatever you think of
(17:48):
me, I'm okay.
Fortune (17:49):
Right? Well, it's just like, you know, when you first
meet somebody, you go on a dateand you put on makeup, you do
your hair, this but your bestand whatever. And you want to
put it out there because youwant them to see you like that.
Okay, certain way. But thenreally, I mean, when you think
about a relationship when youdon't have any of that anymore.
Okay? That is really where thelove comes from the real you
(18:14):
without the makeup without theclothes, without the hair.
Jean (18:18):
What was it that you? Are those serendipity moments
sometimes the best? Yes,absolutely. You just meet
somebody and it's just likeyou're not, you know, paired,
right? You're just her notright, right. Just had I had a
great relationship start likethat. Yeah. Well, I met a
gentleman in an elevator andjust got, you know, boom, boom,
(18:39):
right? And it was like, What theheck, you know, there was no
setup, there was no, right,right? And persona out there,
right. And we got out of theelevator and didn't, it was
like, wait a minute, I need tokeep talking to that person
comes out. There was such anenergy and a connection. And it
was beautiful. And it was justlike, What the heck was that?
Right? You know, there was noego there that it really wasn't
(19:01):
ego is just so natural andwhatever.
Fortune (19:03):
That's the that's the relationships we want to
cultivate with everyone. Yeah,we want to use our essence we
want to use our true voice. Andwe'll get
Jean (19:13):
back to this tricky thing, you know, Oh, yeah. The tricks.
Oh, yeah. There's somethingcalled you know, we learned in
self awareness that it to becomemore self aware that there's
this there's something called areverse ego. Yes. So, you know,
sometimes people can take like,you're saying, It's tricky,
like, Well, I'm not I don't havean ego. I'm so humble. I don't
need the extra piece of pie. Youtake it, or I don't, I don't
(19:36):
need a fancy car or I don't neednice things. Or I won't go get
that for myself. Because youknow, you do it honey, you take
it you know, that is you'restill calling attention to
yourself.
Fortune (19:47):
If you want to become that person, right? That gives
everything
Jean (19:52):
still a persona Yeah, to be you. There's nothing wrong
with being giving but it's theconsciousness behind it.
salutely And you know, we all dothat too. certain degree, we
create these little personas andwe think, Ah, you look at me I'm
this, you know, but once you dothat your, your wire, you may
not even be aware that you'redoing it you lost once you do
(20:14):
that you lost because
Fortune (20:19):
it's, it's an impulse, it's you don't really you don't
see it coming. You know, I mean,all of a sudden it shows up and
you're like, oh my goodness,well, you know, like, I don't
even
Jean (20:28):
know what I'm doing that you don't want kids or great
meat or when my mother mydaughter will turn around to me,
and I'm trying to like over. Doyou have this? Do you need that?
Can I get for you? And she'slike, Mom, helicopter, it's
okay. It'll be fine. And I'mjust sort of like, whoa, you
know, right, right. What am Itrying to like? Why am I doing
(20:50):
over? Yeah, over you know, andsaying everything I know, she
and I are fine. And I know, youknow, I am I doing it? Well
Fortune (20:56):
talk about overcompensating look at a
bully. Yeah, they do that theyuse the ego. They don't want
tough and rough and whatever. Iknow, when I when I first moved
to Florida, I started highschool. Yeah,
Jean (21:08):
but they're really somebody that's probably been
bullied or hurt. Yes,
Fortune (21:11):
absolutely. But I mean, you have to put on this persona.
So I was went to a little bit ofa rough high school when I first
moved here to Florida. Yeah. Andyeah, it was a little short,
only for 11, or whatever, smallperson or whatever. So I had to
take on this persona of like,this tough, broad, from New
(21:31):
York, I wanted this, I wantedthis reputation, because I
didn't want anybody to fight meor what because like, in those
days, you know, those happen,you know, and it was really
hard, because like you had abalance that like I didn't know
where I wanted to be me. But Icouldn't be me. I felt like I
couldn't be me. Because of Ididn't want to get bullied.
(21:51):
Yeah, you know, so? Well,obviously, someone
Jean (21:55):
like that, like, I used to talk a little bit about how I
used to be, you know, in a band,and I used to write music and
bla bla bla, and you know, it'sdifferent now, because things
have evolved. But at that time,it wasn't that common to have a
female singer or a female lead aleader, right. And I grew up and
(22:16):
it was, it was basically, I wasone of the central people and I
had a vision for how it shouldgo. So dealing with all of that
male energy, you have to put ona persona I put on this persona.
Right, right, I became all ofthe successful women in the
music industry in one body,right.
Fortune (22:34):
But when we have to let the ego take over, then it leads
to more bad choices. Yes, I'mreleasing
Jean (22:39):
all of that. That was the beginning of my journey of real
self transformation. Because tolet go of all of those layers,
like I'm sure you like, with thehigh school experience, say I
don't need to be that I don'twant to be that anymore. It's
not serving me, right. But whatam I really choosing
Fortune (22:55):
that what I'm saying, choosing that makes you have
makes you go down the path ofbad choices will go down on
that. Well, I'm saying like,once you have this persona, you
have to live up to it. Oh, sonow, tonight, you got to make
bad choices, you know, not good,you know, you have to do you
know, whatever. So you have tokeep you have to keep keep it
up. You know, I mean, you haveto keep it up, or I think that
(23:17):
you're this way. So now you haveto keep being that way, right?
Well,
Jean (23:21):
here's, here's where it can get tricky. Okay. So like
for me for you, you might havebeen doing bad behavior. For me.
It was like almost charging mycareer in that field, because I
had to live up to that, right.
But it was still not good forme. And it wasn't all it wasn't
the right space. It wasn't thegood consciousness. It wasn't
all inclusive. It was about me,you know, being the center. And
(23:45):
yes, I included people of courseI did. But but it really at the
end of the day was I had thisvision in my head of who I was
going to be and what I wanted toput across, and that's on a
bigger scale, maybe than a dayto day experience. But that's
really what needs to bedissected in, we all need to
take those moments to kind ofexamine our time and what we're
(24:08):
trying to achieve here. Is itinclusive?
Fortune (24:13):
Yes. Is it
Jean (24:13):
loving? Is it doesn't light you up? It doesn't light
you up?
Fortune (24:19):
Does it lead others? Or are you just getting stressed
and and anxious about it?
Because you have to be thisperson? You know what I mean?
Jean (24:27):
was exhausting. It's like what when Jim Carrey says, you
know, depression is your avatarbasically telling you they don't
want to be this creationanymore. They're done. It's too
much. It's too much. Well,
Fortune (24:37):
it's just like when you're also raised, you know, to
be a certain way and all youhave to, you know, you have to
get married and have childrenand put pressure and stuff like
that. That is you know, so youthink oh my goodness, this is
what I have to do. And then youwake up one day and go, that's
not me. Well,
Jean (24:55):
I think we're all waking up. I think we're all waking up
to this ideal that we didn'tneed Dangerous, we didn't have
that ideal for ourselves. Wedidn't wake up and say, You know
what, I think I want this orI've had some time to feel it
through. And this is my choices.
I think this generation comingnow is making better choices.
Like they're saying, You knowwhat, I'm not ready to do that
yet. Or I think I'm gonna putoff college for a year or two
(25:15):
and explore, or I'm gonna notget married at 20 or 25. I'm
gonna wait until I'm 30. Ormaybe I'm not gonna have a baby
until I'm what, you know, butwhat we grew up in an
environment, which was like, youknow, I didn't get married, and
I wasn't having kids. And so abunch of kids, I was traveling
around or is like, what theheck,
Fortune (25:37):
right? You know, that of instead of thinking so much,
I think we need to feel how arewe feeling about this? Right?
You know what I mean? Is thisreally sitting with us? Is this
making me happy? Right, or is itjust that I'm thinking? what is
expected of me too much anything
Jean (25:56):
is poison. Okay. So if you're doing too much of what
you think other people think youshould be doing, or some ideal
that's been thrust upon? Yeah,that's it. You got it. Yeah. No,
you're just you're just you'renot healthy. Now, your soul is
not healthy. So all of our soulsare sick on some level, and we
need to cultivate some some selfcare.
Fortune (26:18):
Right, right. Right.
It's, it's we called theadversary, the ego, okay. The
opponent, the opponent, theadversary. And understanding
that adversary will help us winthe game. Yeah.
Jean (26:30):
Let them take the hit.
Right.
Fortune (26:32):
Let him take the hit.
Yeah. Because the understand towhen you know what I mean? Oh,
well, he you know, he does this.
Yeah. Okay. I have to remember,okay. When this happens, that
triggers me every time. So nowwhen that happens, I have to be
aware that that is going totrigger me. So now the next time
that happens? Pause. Yes. Take aminute.
Jean (26:54):
You don't win that round.
And then he's Oh, change whichangles? Oh, yeah.
Fortune (26:58):
But wait a minute.
Okay. But still, you get thepoints. You get the point. I got
a point yesterday. Okay, how Ireacted to that scratch on the
car. I got a point. So that'swhat I'm saying. So it's really
I mean, it's, it's, it'sinvigorating. It's not just a
point. You feel like newbornright.
Jean (27:16):
I think that's how it starts in the beginning. It's
like, you feel like this, like,Okay, I've, I've gotten I won
that match. But I think the moreyou exercise that muscle, the
more you get to the point whereyou're saying, Gosh, I feel
better being this way. No. Morelike me. Oh, absolutely. I don't
want to be that other. Right.
Fortune (27:37):
Right. Right. The ego judges, the ego judges,
everything. Yeah. Okay. But oursoul wants to shine our light.
Jean (27:47):
Well, when we think there's nothing left that we
have to learn, okay. Wrong, ortruly experience. We're in a
loop with ourselves. Right?
We're on a
Fortune (27:57):
car. We know it all.
Yeah, I know it all. Yeah, youknow, and that might feel sad
those at all. Yeah,
Jean (28:02):
but you're not being vulnerable. You're not being
humble, you're not connecting,you're not thriving, you're not
changing, you're nottransforming, right. And that is
when and let go a little bit ofthe ego, and
Fortune (28:14):
how wonderful it is when we do our studies, when
we're learning the same lessonagain, and we're like, wow,
yeah, that's amazing, because Iknew this, but I didn't know it
know it like this, you know,what I mean? There's all
different ways and angles andto, you know, unpack it and, and
really go, oh, wow, that'sreally going to help me. You
(28:35):
know, I think the most importantthing is the Pause,
Jean (28:40):
pause. And it's also and this is gonna sound a little
heady. But um, you know, wewe've kind of been sold this
idea whether it's through themedia, or Hollywood or music, or
whatever it is that, that thisis all supposed to be just some
kind of, you know, MGM musical,and or Broadway show, and it's
(29:01):
all happily ever after. Andthere are moments of that. And
those things are beautiful. Butwe're really here to learn, and
to have this experience and inthat learning, and in that
experience, there is pain, theego does not want pain. The ego
wants the Hollywood experienceand is going to do everything it
(29:22):
can, but you're really notliving life. You're exhausted
trying to keep up thatappearance.
Fortune (29:27):
Yes, but the pain can be shortened it by suffering,
sure,
Jean (29:31):
but what I'm saying is, is that it's not like we should
live in pain all the time.
Fortune (29:35):
I understand what you're saying. There has to be
challenges, but it has said whywe're here right and as enchant
Jean (29:41):
you know, we just listened to a wonderful lecture and he
said alive if you could go back,okay, we we've learned this
lesson before it's like give memore hit me again. Because every
time you experience that if youcan get over that hurdle and not
right now not embrace, notembrace the the
Fortune (30:01):
The feeling of wanting the comfort, the comfort and
Jean (30:04):
the and, and having the praise or whatever dealing
Fortune (30:06):
with it, right avoiding it, right and part of the ego,
you just let it break
Jean (30:11):
down a little bit. And I don't mean it has to be this
painful thing, but just that youcan be aware of the fact that
you need to let go of that onsome level, you need to say,
this is not really who I am.
And, and even when that triggercomes, I'm going to react
differently, I'm going to reactdifferently and I'm going to not
have to be so reactive or, or,or emotionally responsive or,
or, or, or hold on so much to anideal that I didn't even, I'd
(30:36):
have you gotta do I just wastold that's when you're supposed
to do
Fortune (30:42):
you gotta jump, right?
Because it's gonna feelwonderful. It's gonna feel
wonderful that you have thattrust. That's what it's also
it's okay, trusting the Creator,that it's all going to be good.
It's gonna be fabulous. It'sgonna be amazing,
Jean (30:56):
but it's okay to see. I don't know. And it's okay to say
I don't want that anymore. Andit's okay to say this pattern
between us. We need to change itand we need to analyze
Fortune (31:04):
change. Yeah, change is the main and that's the ego
doesn't want right, any changeor transformation. So can we
agree that diminishing the egois the main transformation that
we are following in thisjourney? Where in this journey?
(31:25):
Yeah, less is more, less ismore. Okay. Well,
Jean (31:29):
I think we do understand this to a certain degree. And I
think we're going to becontinually working on this not
just daily, but I guess minuteby minute, and well, we're here
for each other. We're here foreach other and everyone else and
everybody else. Write us,connect with us. We want to hear
from you.
Fortune (31:51):
If you enjoyed this episode, please follow like and
share this podcast.
Jean (31:56):
For more sparks of light, follow circuitry on social
media, look for the light bulband become a podcast subscriber
on our website for more podcastcontent.
Fortune (32:05):
We love hearing from you all. So share questions
story or a topic that we canexplore.
Jean (32:11):
Email us at fn J at Ignite circuitry.com. And don't forget
to ignite your life
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