January 17, 2023 • 48 mins
When things that are going wrong or not falling exactly in to place, we must realize that the chaos is not the issue or problem. It is how we feel or what is triggered inside of us that gives us the clue as to what we need to be working on in ourselves.
It is in the process of pushing through and persevering that we can gain the most insight and reveal the most light in our soul and the world.
Persevering can sometimes be confusing. We may think we are being strong and productive, but can be avoiding something that we may be resistant to, that is actually the path forward.
We can’t achieve bigger or better results if everything stays the same. Discover how if we are content in our routine or approach in life, inevitably we will hit a road block or a detour that makes us feel like we have gone off our path. Ultimately these challenges are taking us to a more complete, wiser and an "in tuned" version of ourself.
Perseverance is the key to transformation
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Fortune (00:03):
Welcome all to circuitry. It's time to ignite
your light.
Jean (00:07):
Join us as we explore this episode's thought provoking
topic and what it means to usthrough everyday life challenges
and practical spiritual tools.
Fortune (00:16):
So let's start sharing.
Hello, darling. Well, hello,
Jean (00:21):
darling. How are you?
Fortune (00:22):
I'm fabulous.
Jean (00:24):
That's good. So we've been a little on hiatus with these
holidays.
Fortune (00:29):
Yes. And the energy?
Oh, yes, the energy. Yeah, we
Jean (00:33):
felt for first we got sick. And then it was the
holiday, it was the holidays.
And then it was like we couldnot find like, people were
coming in at a town, you know,my side, your side. And then it
was like trying to get together.
So we're very excited about thisepisode. What's our topic?
Fortune (00:50):
Our topic is perseverance. And we have
someone that is a champion. Oh,she is.
Jean (00:58):
And let me tell you something. This is our first is
our first episode where we havea guest. So we're really
excited. And let's just jumpinto perseverance. And then we
will bring Susan Kelsey on andshe will she'll have a little
chat with us. Yes, no. So whatdo you got?
Fortune (01:17):
Well, what do I got? I think that perseverance for me
is chat is is living in thechallenge, really accepting the
challenge each time and you makefun of me, because I always say,
just keep walking, keep walking.
And it's kind of a personaljoke, you know, because you're
(01:40):
saying the story was we were inNew York, it's freezing cold
with the kids. And we had toget, I don't know, 10 blocks.
And I'm like, you're going let'sjust go on the subway and take
the train. And I'm going to
Jean (01:55):
come in a bit of stamina.
Yeah, just keep walking. Justkeep walking. And I kept saying,
Stephanie's freezing. Right,let's let's jump in a subway.
Let's
Fortune (02:03):
grab a cat. So I unpack that for myself. Yeah. While I
was doing the research, and Ithink that sometimes we think
we're persevering. Like Ithought I was persevering to
keep walking. But reallyinstead, I wasn't facing other
options because of fear. Yeah.
Ooh, deep, right. I like that.
(02:25):
Yeah,
Jean (02:26):
I don't like it, but I liked it.
Fortune (02:27):
But sometimes we do persevere. And we think that
we're just keep going withsomething. But really, it's not
for the good. I'm just giving alittle twist on it. Sorry.
Jean (02:38):
Well, no, that's really true. Because part of what like
I was gonna say is that you'renot persevering. Unless you're
changing something. Yes. Oh,yeah. That's one of my things.
Yeah. Because if you're stayingjust in your tight little
comfort zone, and everything'son schedule, and this is the way
my life goes, and it's all good,no growth, something comes and
(02:59):
then you're just like, resistantto that, you know, yes. Or like,
you know, oh, we'll take a cabor not. No, no, no, I don't know
what that means. Or I don't knowwhat that's gonna look like with
the kids with us. Right? Solet's just keep going.
Fortune (03:10):
Right? So instead of facing the other option, I know
this way, right? Exactly,exactly. So perseverance does
include expanding, changing,like what you're saying, You
know what I mean? Like, allthose components have to go into
the persevering in order for itto really mean something, right?
But
Jean (03:28):
ultimately, it's taking us to a more complete and wiser
version of ourselves, if we letit. Don't give it a you could
say that, like, on a huge level,like, oh, I had this really
traumatic thing happened to me.
And it caused me to go inwardand explore and really get to
know myself. Or you could justsay, You know what, next time
I'm in New York, and we need togo on the subway, I know that
(03:51):
the kids handled it just fine.
Right? So you're you you know,something now that you did not
know, before, it can be bigger,it can be small, right? But it
makes you grow? Yes, yes. Andfeel stronger. Right? And when
you have the mindset of thatrestriction, because it's
really, I don't know if you wantto call it restriction, but it's
(04:11):
restriction of the fear. Okay,then you will have the results.
You don't mean the restrictionequals the results, right. The
restriction of the fear therestriction of the negative
thoughts? Yeah, you know, allthat comes up with results that
are well, it's the key totransformation. Yes, it is. It's
(04:31):
like the magnifying glass. Butit's also the south it's also
the healing ointment. Because wecan look at it as like, Oh, this
is a really like this darknessis there. There is no darkness
there is only goodness andlight, if that is our
consciousness, so everythingthat's happening to us is
happening for us, not to us.
Right, right. Right. So if wecan look at it and then that
(04:55):
sucks when it's like reallysomething bad like you go, God
It's just happening to me andlike, I don't know how I'm gonna
pay this bill, or I don't knowhow I'm gonna get through that,
or this relationship is ending,right? Does that mean? Well, I
now be die alone? You know, youcan go through a really scary
place. Yes. But if you cantackle the thing, like you just
realized something like that, ifyou can get to the brute if you
(05:18):
can say, why is why not evenjust why, but not just why is it
happening? But what do I need todo to really grow in myself?
Yes,
Fortune (05:31):
yes, yes, yes. And of course, myself, of course,
connect to because yourspiritual growth has everything
to do everything to do withperseverance.
Jean (05:41):
That's when we gain the most insight, right? apps if we
don't go through these things,and we're just like, like, we
always say, like, be a robot,you know, right, then it's just,
it's just every it's GroundhogDay.
Fortune (05:55):
Yes. The same thing over and over? Well, you know,
me, I like to make lists, and Iwrote some things that helped me
persevere. Okay, what are theyfocus on what's positive? So as
you're going through thatchallenge, try to find what's
positive in it, asked for help,which is a problem that we all
(06:17):
have me, but you're looking atme? Yes, I am looking at you.
Because that's your number oneissue is asking for help. You
know, I mean, I love it wheneven you go to Google and ask
Google, because that's like,
Jean (06:29):
she's asking, Googling, instead of taking three hours to
try to figure it out. Mygoodness, isn't that bad? It is,
oh, no, you're
Fortune (06:36):
getting better, you're getting better. Okay, get rid of
the negative thoughts aboutmyself, because a lot of times
that is a big blockage with us,you know, we start thinking
about all the negative thingsabout ourselves, and then it we
can't proceed
Jean (06:52):
on ourselves, you know, not move forward. Like you're
saying a lot of people can be alittle bit of perfectionist
about things, yes, you know, orthey have a certain self image
about themselves. So we that's ajudgment. We're judging
ourselves. It sounds like we'reexonerating ourselves. But we're
really judging ourselves reallysaying, This is who I am.
Because anytime you're decreeingwhat something is as
Fortune (07:12):
a reality, and you created your reality. Yeah. So
envision the end goal. So Ithink like when you have to
persevere to get throughsomething, it's important to
really envision what you want.
Yeah. But yes. So that reallyvote in that? Yes. And Wait, one
more?
Jean (07:31):
Can I share that? When I share? Wait one minute,
Fortune (07:35):
and realize it's the journey that makes it all
happen? Yes. The end goal, it isso good. Whatever you want what?
Listen, I'm here just before Igo there in my underwear.
Jean (07:48):
It's not bad. Oh, it's just like, yes. But I'm gonna go
back to what you're saying here.
You don't have to figure it allout in one giant swoop. Right?
It is a journey. It is notwhat's that? What's that
expression? It's not, right.
It's a sprint, it's a marathon.
Right? Exactly. So it's like, wewant to just like have it all in
a tidy little package. And weknow exactly what's going to
(08:09):
happen next. And but you don'thave to solve it right away. No,
you can just like you're saying,find the positive thing in it or
find how you can feel betterabout it, find a baby step you
can take, right, that will bringyou to the next part of it. Even
if it doesn't have to be thisgrand leap. It can just be what
(08:29):
do I have to do right now? Orwhat do I have to do today or
this week to get make some kindof impact on this in a positive
way?
Fortune (08:41):
Right, right. And think about how it benefits others?
Yes, when you do that, okay.
Because sharing is one of ourmost magical things that we can
do.
Jean (08:53):
Yes. And you know, sometimes when the roadblock
occurs, it's telling you thatyou're going in the wrong
direction. And sometimes it's agood friend or a teacher or a
parent or a child can tell youwell, you know, mom, or you
know, my friend, you do do this,or maybe this is happening
because right or even thoughthis is painful, I think it's
(09:17):
for the best for you. And here'swhy. So that's a big part of
transformation is sharing it and
Fortune (09:25):
right and, and what about when someone comes to you,
and you try to help thempersevere, but really, it's the
mirror. Oh, it's alwayswhatever, they're right,
whatever. We're
Jean (09:35):
all a part of each other's grape cluster. And we're all
there for a reason. You know, Imean, anything that's happening
to any one of us, right, we haveto look at it within ourselves
and ourselves. Yes, absolutely.
jencks by me. But what I waswhat I was going to say as you
talked about, what is it youwant? You know, yep, I and this
isn't, this isn't putting you inyour underwear. But but one of
(09:57):
our first spiritual teacher Isthat we kind of Yes. mazing?
Man, yes. His main golden ticketquestion to you, and we refer
back to it is yes. What do youwant? And you know, that sounds
so easy. Oh, no, it's not.
(10:17):
Because when you say what youwant, there's always this little
internal dialogue that goes on,that says, Well, if you do that,
then you don't have thisanymore. Or you may have to do
this painful thing or may gethard, or you may have to
struggle or, and that stops usin our tracks. And that's when
we need to push through thehardest when it's the
(10:38):
uncomfortable thing. Yes, that'swhen we need to persevere. Yeah.
Because that is transformation.
Yes.
Fortune (10:46):
And also recognizing and finding your strength in the
action or the journey. So like,what, like when you're doing
something good? Recognize it?
Yeah. Because a lot of times,you just have a little credit,
right? You got to give yourselfcredit. Because we'll go oh,
well, I just thought I wassupposed to do that, or whatever
it No, that is something that'samazing. And that's why we're so
(11:08):
excited about having Susan,because there's so many amazing
things that she probably doesn'teven realize. Yeah, well,
Jean (11:15):
when we started talking to her about, you know, some of the
things I think the comments shemade when we were doing this the
bio together for her. It waslike, that sounds like another
person. It's like, no, they you,you and me were like going
that's exactly Susan, is thisamazing? I mean, I've called her
Dr. Susan, for years, you know,right, right? She wasn't she was
(11:36):
my personal phone in therapistfor and still is, right? Um, you
know, because she just has thatability to really look at
something and objectiveobjectively, but also in a cheap
advising. Yeah, she's a medic,and she's she, she knows you.
And she's going to really tryand help you through it. And
(11:57):
that is such an amazing quality.
But we'll get to Susan in aminute. Yes, we will. She's
taken up on your time here.
Anyway, so when things aren'talways following exactly into
place? What happens? Well, wepanic. Yeah. It's the triggers.
Fortune (12:16):
Yeah, we have all these triggers that set us back. And
that's when we have to what isour favorite thing, realign real
with the Creator or higherpower? Or whatever, and realize
that those things are that thatis the magic, right?
Jean (12:34):
Magic? That is the light coming in? overcome that? Oh,
yeah. Miracle, that's theblessing if you can allow it in.
You know, just like givingbirth, you know, any woman out
there telling you, you know,you're going, I want to be me, I
want to be me. And then it'slike, The baby's coming. I don't
want to go, I don't want to dothis. Because it's gonna be
(12:57):
painful. Right. Right. Right.
But
Fortune (12:58):
when you get that baby, right, it's wonderful.
Jean (13:01):
There's the blessing. So, you know, I'm not saying every
thing we go through is the sameas going through labor. But
there is an analogy. Yeah,there's an example there that
it's through that pain orthrough that discomfort or that
struggle? Well, I think goodcoming.
Fortune (13:16):
A lot of times, we don't see that. But, you know,
if we could, it's like havingthe million million dollar
check. You know, you don't? Youdon't see it. You know what I
mean? You don't see it, youdon't have it in your hands. But
you have to just know that ifyou do that uncomfortable thing,
it's coming? Well,
Jean (13:32):
it's a it's a big distraction to when the all that
stuff is going on in your heador going on in the situation or
you go, I don't know what to do,you know, this is it can be
overwhelming to even know whereto start or know why it's
happening to you. Right? And,and that's why you have to stop.
Right? But like, what's therepeat here? Like sometimes,
(13:53):
like we were talking yesterday,I won't get into what we're
talking about, because it's verypersonal. But it was it's what
is the repeat here? What, it maylook different. Right, right.
But what is the similarity herein the way you're approaching
this or the pattern that youhave in these matters or your
emotional reaction? If you canstart honing in on those, then
(14:15):
you know, it's not the chaos orthe pain that you have to push
through. It's your own
Fortune (14:21):
patterns. Right. And it's about recognizing it, what
you're saying. And really, youknow, I mean, I know you're
saying it's personal, but it'sreally about valuing yourself.
You know, that's what we weretalking about. Yeah, that's what
I'm talking about. It keepscoming up.
Jean (14:34):
Yeah. That's usually a sign of yours, you know, that
it's something you need to workon. Seriously? Yes,
Fortune (14:40):
yes, yes, yes. And you don't realize that you're,
you're creating your ownmonster, but that, you know, and
the more that you can recognizeit, and the more that you can
see it, you know, you pull yourbootstraps up and you go, Okay,
I got to do this, you know,because if I don't do this And
it's not even doing that it'sfinding different ways within
(15:04):
that challenge to change how youwould handle it. You know, like
we were talking about, rightaway, I tried to fix everything,
and how I had to just stop andjust let it be, just let it be,
let somebody else fix it, youknow, and that's really hard,
because I just want it to befixed. But really, you're not
fixing it, you're, you're makingit worse, you know what I mean?
(15:26):
But recognizing that is thewhole price,
Jean (15:28):
you know, you know, we've talked about this. We haven't
talked about this on the showyet, but okay, let's talk about
it a little bit, we sometimeswill hit these places in our
lives, where it's like, Oh, mygoodness, I can handle this,
this is too much. This is right.
We asked for it. That's whathappens. It happens in smaller
degrees. And sometimes as youlook back, like in the
(15:52):
beginning, when you start goingthrough like an awakening of
yourself, and you're wanting todo personal transformation,
whether it's self care, orspirituality, whatever it is,
you can go to this place ofgoing, Okay, I want to change I
want to be bigger, better, youknow, happier, you know, more
productive, more in tune to theuniverse, all those good things.
But when you ask to alignyourself with the universe, wow.
(16:15):
Right? You're on a rollercoaster and you're strapping
yourself in. And sometimesthere's a little hill, and
sometimes there is this big.
Click, click, click, and you'regoing, Oh, geez, what's coming?
Right? Right. Right, you canalmost learn to feel it. Right.
Right. And it can be scary. Yes.
But what happened? Wait, that'swhen when you are aligned with
(16:36):
the universe, that's when you'reletting in?
Fortune (16:42):
Trusting, right, trusting that this is going to
be the greatest ride of yourlife? Not that it's going to be
like terrifying, right? Youknow, I mean, so just believe
that, Okay, this looks reallybad. But how can I flip this?
You know, and that's with yourkids, you know, dealing with
kids? And, you know, I mean,I've dealt with a lot of
different challenges with yourmarriage with your job getting
(17:06):
sick, you know, even evenfinding what you want. Yeah, can
be, you know, a scary thing,because now you're, you're
putting it out there. Well, youhave to actually climb the
mountain, you know what I mean?
So, you know, it can get
Jean (17:21):
bumpy and yeah, and it can be it can feel like retreat, run
away,
Fortune (17:26):
right. But the perseverance in all of that
shows us that, at the end, it'samazing.
Jean (17:36):
Sometimes you can't see it right away. So we have to, like,
we can't just like put like thisbig, oh, this glossy little
picture of it. It's it's not,you know, I think that's kind of
what the show is about a littlebit is trying to say to people,
you know, you're not alone, weall go through these things,
right. And it's, it's a journey,and it's not, it's an it's an
everyday moment to moment, tokeep the consciousness that you
(17:58):
have wanted to transform. Andthat's kind of why we're here,
right is to work on ourselvesand be happy to be happy.
Fortune (18:06):
And, you know, getting each other's back, you know,
what I mean? Like, you know,giving support, sure, you know,
and sharing that we all are on ajourney. And some I mean, we all
have different journeys. Andlisten, somebody can have a
hangnail and think it's theworst thing in the world, you
know what I mean? And somebodycan, you know, have surgery and
(18:27):
pop right out of the bed. Right?
You know what I mean? So it'slike, we all take things in our
own degree. Sure.
Jean (18:32):
I'm talking about the alignment thing, when, when we
were talking about, we heard avery inspirational lecture about
alignment. And we startedtalking about that. And I was
telling you that when I firststarted when I was, and Susan
was around, during these times,when we started started, like
looking at different, likespiritual tools or, or things
like, like, tarot or
Fortune (18:54):
something to connect whatever I write, I started
reading
Jean (18:56):
this book about runes, and it was an old Nordic prayer, and
I told you about it. And it's avery simple prayer, but I use it
all the time when like whenthings are like really spinning
out of control, or just a dailykind of a reminder. And that is
I will, to will, thy will. Andthat's very powerful. And when
(19:20):
you inject that into your lifeand into your consciousness,
you're really saying, I knowwhat the universe has in store
for me, is going to be amazing.
Yeah, and I trust that. And you
Fortune (19:34):
know what the secret to that is least tell me is knowing
when to do that. Becauseusually, it's like when you're
like on your last, you know,well, I like
Jean (19:44):
to do it when I'm completely comfortable in a bath
and yeah,
Fortune (19:48):
yeah, exactly. No, it's so good right now. No, it's when
you are really frustrated orupset to realign your thoughts
with something like that. beliefand
Jean (20:00):
sentry. Yeah, yes. All right. So I think we've laid the
concept down of perseverance.
I'd like to talk a little bitabout Susan, Susan Kelsey is our
first guest. And I think that wehad like, this little intro
cooked up in our mind, of what,you know, we've had, we wanted
to introduce her to everybody,but I'm gonna let her do the
talking. I'm just gonna say thispart of it. And then you can
(20:21):
add, what you want to add, is,while putting this idea that she
was coming on the show together,we had a great talk last night.
And one of the things that cameout of that talk was that
something that's inspirationalto her is when she kind of
connects with people share,whether it's on social media or
whatever the journey that she'sbeen on. She's, it's been like,
(20:43):
really, such a great experiencefor her to see. Just like when
we, when we see oh, we've got alistener in Spain or Australia
or something. We're going wow,we're really we're losing our
paths
Fortune (20:56):
are there. Now how it's helping? Yes. That's such that's
the
Jean (21:00):
best part. Yeah. And so in that inspiration, Susan has
really been very vulnerable, andput out exactly what's going on
internally and externally forher and some of her journeys.
And it's really made people feelconnected to her. And also
inspired by her.
Fortune (21:18):
Yes. So yes. And you know, she has a lot to talk
about, because she's had a veryfabulous life. Oh, my goodness,
a lot of things going on. Shehas five wonderful children. She
has gone back to college laterin life. You know, it's a little
bit challenging, and she's had alot of recent experiences that
(21:39):
have been challenging. Yeah. Butshe still has a smile on her
face. And she's still swimming.
Jean (21:45):
Yep. All right. So the Hello, Susan, are you there?
Susan (21:50):
Yeah. Hello.
Jean (21:52):
Welcome. How are you doing today?
Susan (21:56):
Good to be here. I'm good. I'm good.
Jean (21:58):
Awesome. Awesome. Well, I want to start off with this, you
know, we put this promo out. Andit's it's Dory. So what is this?
What is this Just keep swimming?
Where did this come from?
Susan (22:11):
Just keep swimming. came as it started, actually, when I
was working, when I had to goback to work. You know,
unexpectedly, I stayed home withmy kids. And I was lucky enough
to do it. I went back to work.
And it would come on terrible,terrible nights in the middle of
the restaurant when everythingwas, was getting too busy. And
you're all overwhelmed. And Ijust stand there and go, just
keep swimming. Just keepswimming, just keep swimming.
(22:31):
Just to try to get to the nextstep. But then it just so I
could keep going all night. Andthen it just took off into
meaning so much more as laborchallenges came to me that it
that it became more profound.
Jean (22:45):
Yes. Well, we've we've got some challenges that we want to
explore with you. And I guess wewant to explore them not from
the standpoint of dwelling on,you know, the challenge, but
like, how you how you reallypersevered and got through it.
And I think one of my favoriteones that I that we were talking
about from when I was tellingfortune, like one of the things
(23:05):
I wanted to talk about on theshow, is I remember when we were
in college, okay, or it wasbefore college, we still talk on
the phone and way too late onthe phone. And and we used to
explore things and you'readopted, and you've known this
your whole life and you kind ofhad this real, you know, we had
a great family, all that goodstuff. But you had a curiosity
(23:29):
about, you know, who were yourparents? I mean, you know, we
had convinced ourselves that,you know, your mom was this
glamorous flight attendant andBrian Jones, you know, from the
Rolling Stones was your birthfather, and we have all these,
like little fantasies on who youcould where your origins really
were. But you really wanted toconnect, and you found ways of
(23:52):
being spy girl, that were veryclever. So
Fortune (23:56):
technology and yeah, the technology that we have
today. Yes, yeah,
Susan (23:59):
it was it was an interesting journey. It was
definitely a thought process ofthe last piece of the puzzle.
You know, it's like, everythingelse was there but knowing who
where you came from on thatbiological genetic level was the
last piece of the puzzle.
Jean (24:14):
I mean, you even to libraries. I did.
Susan (24:17):
It was, you know, back then again, it was it was there
was no Internet, there was no,you know, I remember going into
the New York Public Librarytrying to look up birth records
trying to look up, you know, anyinformation any glimpse, you
know, microfiche? microfiche?
Remember microfiche? Oh, yeah.
Anybody under a certain agewon't even know what that is.
That's true. But yes, sitting inmicrofiche, trying to find
(24:39):
addresses and any clue that Icould get to figure out I knew I
had a name I did have a name. SoI at least have the name to go
with but usually spelling rightyeah, yes, yes, yes. And just go
back and then I get on a rollwith it and then I would stop
and it was then it would startagain and stupid. I did it deaf.
(25:00):
mately was a exercise andperseverance.
Jean (25:04):
Yeah. Anybody got to resolve it? Oh, my goodness. Did
you ever get an answer? But yougot to another family and
extended family. I mean, youhave brothers and sisters now
you have
Susan (25:13):
no, it was a fabulous. I was a good story. You know, you
sometimes hear that the storiesdon't end well, that they're not
as welcoming. But it ended upbecoming an absolute more
family. Yeah, my pleasure. Andmy mother who raised me became
very good friends. And it justkind of melted into this big,
large happy family. Absolutely.
I was very, very lucky. Yeah.
(25:36):
And
Jean (25:36):
it was it was great for your kids to because they had
aunts and uncles now and anothergrandma. Right. Right. Before so
that was amazing. Absolutely.
Fortune (25:45):
Yeah, that perseverance was amazing to inspire. Because,
you know, you've given so muchto those people to, you know,
to,
Susan (25:52):
you know, and it was I mean, I definitely, definitely
am part of the family thatraised me, but it was nice to
see people who look like me. Youknow, like, that was the missing
piece in my world. You know, Imean, it's crazy, but it's like,
okay, well, that's what the eyescame from. And that's where the
early gray hair came from?
Jean (26:08):
Well, and even seeing them in your children. Yes. You know,
100% there are there, there arepictures, we're all going oh my
gosh, that is like Elizabeth,you know, and it's amazing. It's
amazing to have that. You know,talk about your children a
little bit, you've got, youknow, you know, I adore them.
(26:31):
And, you know, I've been, I'vebeen privileged to be godparent
to some of these kids, and I'vedefinitely I, you know, one of
the happiest things about mylife is that I got to be there,
Auntie gene. So, these kids allhave amazing talents,
creativity, brains, they'rethese big brains.
Susan (26:55):
And that's part of that's part of, you know, my whole
cluster of immediate great, too,because we're all we're all
discusses and thinkers and, youknow, people who kibitz over
things and so all thosediscussions went on around them
their whole life, you know, thathelps you it wasn't just me.
Jean (27:10):
Yeah, one thing I want to talk about these kids and the
amazing thing is that they'veall like be with your support,
Kirk support your, your, yourvillage, support your mother
support. You were you wereamazing advocate. And again,
like really finding informationvery resilient and persevering
to get the answers and help yourkids needs when they hit certain
(27:34):
things that were challenges forthem. Can you talk a little
about that?
Susan (27:38):
It was just important to me. I had I had one son who was
my second son was diagnosed withAsperger's when he was four. You
know, our and we you definitelyhad issues even from a younger
age, but that nobody couldreally it was that was all new
at the time.
Jean (27:53):
Because to me, you remember my reaction? I never
remember before?
Fortune (27:59):
Yes, yes.
Jean (28:01):
I was like, yes.
Susan (28:02):
I mean, I think it went on, like the diet and the
diagnostic book of mentalillnesses. I think it was the
year after Daniel was born.
Yeah, I think was 96. So it wasall new to everybody. Yeah. And
it was scary. And it was scary.
It was scary. Because there weredefinitely issues he was
definitely different than myfirst son trying to discipline
him trying to and it's funny,because you know him now and
(28:24):
he's very sweet. And he's verylaid back and he better but at
the time, he was not that atall, you know, and it was very
challenging because he wasnothing like my first son. I
didn't know how to handle itdidn't know what to do with it.
You're trying all the parentingtricks you think, you know? And
it's like, what the heck none ofthis works.
Jean (28:41):
Yeah, what am I gonna do the flip side
of that is that there was alsothis this character this little
funny, smart you know,mischievious little kid that was
like, whatever it was like whenwhen it was like, Oh, he's got
he's he's in he's on thespectrum over there with this
spread said spectrum EQ them,and they he has autism. He's
(29:02):
Brian. I know. So not
Susan (29:05):
knowing what that means.
Right section of it. What'syou're looking at, you're going
oh, this is something terrible.
It has a name, and a book and ithas a name. And you're just
assuming it's the most awfulthing in the world. And that's
one of the great things that youcome to find out which is
talking about, you know,flipping your perspective on the
bad things, and looking at itdifferent and going well, it
also comes with a lot
Fortune (29:27):
of things. Yes, yeah.
Yeah, yes. How it makes them sodifferent but yet amazing,
because they're out of the box.
I mean, you help me too, becauselike I didn't under I went
through the same thing as youyou know, but you were like,
yeah, it's okay. You know what Imean? It's okay. And that really
helped me when I you know, whenmy daughter got diagnosed, so it
(29:48):
really went that
Susan (29:49):
was one of the good I'm glad I'm glad it helps you and I
mean, it is and then theeverybody who came along I had a
lot of I was very lucky tobecause I had a lot of teachers
and other people who gave meinformation. So made me feel
like, Oh, this is going to beokay. But it was terrifying in
the beginning. It's like, what'sgoing to happen to him, you
know, and then I had babysat fora child who had full on autism,
(30:09):
like the very the kind that whenyou think of autism that you
picture when I was younger, andI can't communicate, and they
can't, you know, in there, andit's like, you're going, what's
gonna happen? What's gonnahappen? Yes, you know, and even
and you know what, even those,those kids, they're okay to, you
know, so. And so as you're facedwith things that sit on your
(30:30):
lap, you have this moment whereyour head spin. And of course,
we go to the worst place, and wego to the worst case scenario,
and we go to the, oh, it's allgonna be awful. And what am I
gonna do? And then slowly, butsurely, you have to kind of find
out information, you have totalk to people you have to
research. And that's what I did.
I dove into it. It was like, letme find out. And that's my way
of doing things I want to divein. And I want to find out
(30:50):
everything I can possibly knowgood, bad and ugly about this.
And then we're gonna figure outwhat we need to do.
Jean (30:56):
Yeah, well, I remember I remember very, very, it was it
was it's actually I've usedthese words in other scenarios.
Okay. So you're very inspiringto me at this moment. I remember
the radical rebel, you know,that just wanted to say, okay,
all of these qualities are, Idon't want them changing him. I
don't want them this. Yeah. Oh,yeah. protect you.
Susan (31:19):
And my parents, my parents were like that. Yeah.
And you came up against a lot ofthat.
Jean (31:24):
You said, Okay. And I love that you love him so much. But
if if I came home, and I toldyou that he was having trouble
seeing the chalkboard, would youallow me to go get him glasses
so he could see it better? Likehe could see like, everybody
else was seeing it a little bitbetter? And I was like, Oh,
Fortune (31:42):
well, that's a part of it. That's a part of it.
Jean (31:45):
Like, like I said, Susan has a way easing into it.
Fortune (31:48):
Right? Right, right. So make you accept what's happening
and know that there is a pathwayforward, when we have to find we
have to get on that path, right?
Instead of fight. And
Susan (31:56):
that's a lot of it to accepting it is almost even even
down to physical pain. You know,you're getting a shot. You know,
somebody's going to do that. AndI don't know if you've ever
tried this before, but somebodyI read it somewhere and it
works. Okay, they're gonna dothis. It's gonna be painful. I'm
gonna get into the pain. It'snot as painful. Your brain
knows.
Right? Right. Right. Okay, I'maccepting it. Yes, yes, I know.
(32:18):
Exactly. emotional pain,all of that stuff. Same thing.
Jean (32:21):
So you're saying like, the anticipation of it is sometimes
more scary than actually whathappens? What
Susan (32:25):
I mean, not accepting the fact it's here. It's reality is
right, right, right in front ofyou. It's like tearing your
face. Right? Right. And you'rearguing with it, you're fighting
it, you're trying to make it goaway. And in that trying to make
it go away, what happens it getsbigger, it grows, it gets
darker. It gets because youyou're not accepting it. So now
it's become it's become this,even think about the dumping.
(32:48):
Oh, I have to do this today. AndI don't want to do it. And now,
as we're avoiding it, all youthink about all day long is the
thing you're avoiding. Right?
Where if you just said, Oh, Ihave to do that at five o'clock
at five o'clock? I'm going to doit. You don't think about it
again for five o'clock.
Fortune (33:01):
Right? And it changes everything. It's so totally
accepted. Everything. Acceptanceis huge. Yes, yes. Yes.
Jean (33:07):
All right. Before we run out of time, I have something
that I really want to talkabout, I want you to because I
think a lot of people go througha similar experience or
something that that's relatableand you got a diagnosis a couple
of years ago, and it was it waslife changing. And I think
that's part of like where you'veconnected to a lot of people and
(33:28):
help inspire people. So can youtell me a little bit about what,
when you got the diagnosis orwhat what was the process you
went through to get to this? Iguess, very proactive. And I'm
not saying you don't have toughtimes, I know you do. But how do
you keep going Susan?
Susan (33:45):
In 2018, I was diagnosed with osteosarcoma, which is a
bone cancer typical pediatrichad had a pain in my knee that I
thought I just hurt myselfworking out and somehow other
went from that to all of asudden somebody sitting on the
other end of a phone telling meI have cancer, which was
devastating. And I mean, again,it's like you, you we all know
people with cancer, everybodyknows somebody, but until when
(34:06):
they say it to you, it's adifferent gut punch, a totally
different gut punch, you know,and then going through the
treatment, which was for me, itwas it was pretty severe because
it is almost a blood bornecancer. So they hit you where
you're in the hospital with forthe chemo. I had reactions to
the chemo. You know, and thatpart actually
Jean (34:28):
gave me like kind of wrongest chemo, there's an out
there I thought.
Susan (34:33):
Yep. And I was in I was in I was hospitalized for it.
They ran it for five days. So itwas it was it was just I was
Jean (34:39):
doing COVID And nobody could come to see you. That was
Susan (34:42):
it. No. Chemo was good.
It was the lung surgeries whenit came back. That was during
COVID where nobody could comesee me That was awful. But yeah,
you go through it and your brainI mean, that beginning that
beginning for everybody is likeyou're caught up in a tornado.
And you have no idea whereyou're gonna land. You know, I
describe it to people all thetime. And that's what it feels
like when they say, because youdon't know what's going to
(35:04):
happen. You don't know what theend result is going to be. You
don't know what they're going todo to you. And you're just
standing there going crap. Youknow, and your brain goes into
horrible places. Am I going tobe there when my daughter
graduates from high school? Am Igoing to see my grandchildren?
Am I going to do you know, Imean, there's all these because
cancer to us, represents themost horrible, like, there's
other things that can take youout. But for some reason, cancer
(35:26):
and all of our collective mindsis always the worst thing. Yes.
Yes. You know, and it was justbut I knew it was there. I had,
it was the same thing, theacceptance, this is what I'm
dealing with. I want to be therewhen my daughter graduates, I
want to be to see mygrandchildren. So what do I have
to do? Right, right. And it's arollercoaster ride. There are
(35:49):
definitely days where I don'twant to do it. Well, you just I
don't want to play anymore.
Jean (35:54):
You just You just took some of what we were talking
about earlier and put it intoreal physical terms. Like, okay,
what is it that I was
Susan (36:03):
listening to you talk and it was like, Oh, yes, very, very
much. So it's, it's where weresist. It's where we panic.
It's where we, you know, andeverybody's triggers different.
And going back to what y'allwere talking about before. I
think my lesson in this isasking for help. Letting people
do things for me allowing myselfto say I hurt,
Fortune (36:21):
vulnerable. I don't care. That was a big one. Susan,
right. Yeah, that was I did notI just want to do everything
yourself. Yeah. And I was like,oh, no, yes. Yeah.
Susan (36:30):
And currently, I am stubborn as my older son calls
me, you're very stubborn Mom,
Fortune (36:35):
wait, and sometimes because we don't we go against
it. Other challenges come toreally knock us down. And that
was literally what happened toyou. Right? If you
Susan (36:49):
keep resisting it, if you keep trying to make it bend the
way you think you can handle Ican handle it if I just take
care of it. All. Right. Well,you know, I have to stop but my
dad
Jean (37:01):
had lung cancer. And you live through that with me
boasted, yes. And I canremember, before he had lung
cancer he had, he was goingblind. Okay. And he got a
treatment for that andexperimental treatment at Emory
University, and they cured hisblindness. And then he had
before that he had where theveins to his heart, we're not,
(37:24):
we're not pumping the runningout. So they took veins from his
legs, and they put them into hischest and they remove it, they
just transported these veins up,he had a massive heart attack.
Okay, triple bypass surgery forthat. Then, I know, the
challenges just keep cominghome. And I was like, Dad, you
know, we can rebuild you we havethe technology by the end of
(37:46):
this year, the $21 million manand $8 million. Man, you're,
you're gonna be you're gonna bea young kid. Again, by the time
we replace all these parts, youknow, and that was the joke but,
but when he when he got lungcancer, and he was going through
the chemo, I mean, what youknow, you guys knew my dad, very
strong guy very, you know,proactive, optimistic, and he's
a sex successful businessman. Hewas, you know, everybody was
(38:09):
inspired by Andy Yes. And thathe it he dissolved into tears,
because he had to go back forthese. You have to go back and
have another scan to see if he'sright. To challenge and he just
took my call it oh my god, hefell apart. And he was like,
Please don't ask me to I can'tdo this anymore. I can't do I
(38:31):
can't do that.
Susan (38:32):
And he was he was at the end of a lot of like he was he
was fragile when they gave it tohim. Well, I said the word
right.
Jean (38:38):
And I said, Dad, you know, you know, I was exploring
spirituality. At that point inlearning alone. I was like, What
do you think you need totransform in yourself? That
maybe that's why this keepshappening. And he kind of just
patted me on the hand and he waslike, I think I need just accept
and never stop fighting that I'mgonna die. And I was like,
Fortune (39:00):
well, but we're all gonna
Jean (39:01):
die. I understand. But like, I think that in in, like,
he kind of had to get to thispoint where he accepted almost
his own mortality is what he wastelling me. But why
Susan (39:12):
which there's some people can't some people
Jean (39:16):
couldn't and he wanted to be here for my daughter so much
that that was what was drivinghim. And I don't think he really
came to what it was in him thathe needed to transform, but I
don't think that he was mentallyin a place where he I think he
was too tired at that point.
Well, don't think
Susan (39:33):
it I'm sure it affected him. I'm sure there were things
that probably because he wastired. You didn't see because
his interaction with the worldchanged. Yeah, but I'm sure
Jean (39:42):
Oh, yes. Yes. Well, he was much more patient with everyone.
I can tell you that. Yeah. So doyou there was who and he had
cancer. Remember
Fortune (39:50):
that? So do you feel like you have like What have you
discovered about yourself? Iknow you said but asking for
help.
Susan (39:57):
Oh, I definitely think that was a lot of it. And I tell
you daily, I still struggle withthe idea of allowing myself to
be vulnerable. I, and I'm rightnow because the second thing
that happened was it came backagain in the same spot after
they did all taking the bone outand giving me the internal
endoprosthetic. And I learned towalk and I can only run a little
bit. And no sooner does thathappen. And it came back in the
(40:19):
same spot in the soft tissue andthey had to take my leg. Why?
Cuz
Jean (40:22):
that's like, okay, so it's not bad enough that, you know,
this is happening, that you'redealing with cancer and chemo
and all that goes the horriblethings like metal and metal in
your leg and they've rebuiltyour life. Now, after all that,
then they tell you this, theygive you the decision, you have
(40:42):
to make the decision to make thedecision to have them amputate
your leg.
Susan (40:48):
Yes. And I tell you this interesting, because you talk
about like everybody, I believethat every trigger as you were
talking about earlier, it's allpersonal at all, what might be a
trigger for me is not going toaffect you at all. But it's a
big one for me, and it's goingto change my whole life. If this
happens to me. I always had afear of losing any limb. Like
really up at night a littlewhile kids fear of that. And any
(41:10):
kind of orthopedic surgery wouldfreak me out. I work in a
medical field. Nothing bothersme. But bones. Oh my god. So it
was very interesting to me thatit happened that way. And it was
like, Oh, this just figures
Fortune (41:21):
like, yes, you know, and you're gonna be okay. Even
if you lose your leg, you'regonna have a wonderful life,
Susan (41:27):
right? Yes. Is one of your worst fears. And you're
going to be alright, you'regonna be alright. Yep. Yeah.
Right. And if there's stilldays, I mean, I'm, I'm at the
point now where I need a newleg. So my leg that I have I
need like a smaller socket, soit doesn't fit well. So trying
to walk is like I'm back towhere I was when I first got it.
I am so frustrated beyondbelief. And it's like, but
(41:48):
again, it's teaching me I haveto ask, you know, my husband, I
have to ask Kirk to get me thisand give me that. And can you
bring me this? Can you and Ihate it? And obviously I still
need a little bit more thanasking for help.
Fortune (42:00):
Yeah, and waiter now.
And wait a minute. We didn'tmention about you going to
college. And now you're you'reyou're working right now. You're
waiting right now you work everyday. You do
Jean (42:12):
very physical job.
Susan (42:14):
Yes, yes, I work in a hospital setting. And I go from
room to room and push my littlemachine around and look at
people's hearts. So yeah,
Fortune (42:22):
that's, that's, that's so amazing that you can let all
that go and be ready because
Jean (42:29):
like the other word of this that we were talking about
is is to acknowledge, like, whatyou've achieved, you know, not
just look at Oh, like, what, youknow, like, I guess my question
to you is like, do you feelyou've gotten stronger through
this?
Susan (42:44):
Of course, I have. I had Well, to me, it was like, I'm
either gonna get stronger, orI'm gonna give up and go sit in
the corner. And giving up andsitting in the corner is not an
option. I'm here. I'm alive.
I've got to appreciate that. Youknow, there are things going on
around me. There's a life goingon around me. Do I want to sit
in the corner? Because I do seeit. I see people who do choose
to sit in the corner. Right?
Jean (43:07):
You know, just keep swimming took on a whole new
Yeah,
Susan (43:11):
that level Do we just keep swimming became the motto.
I always joke with people whenthey see because I have a tattoo
with story and just keepszooming on my arm. My patients
will see it. They're like, why?
What is that for us? Like,because that is my motto. That
is my reminder every day, nomatter how bad it gets. That's
what I need to do
Fortune (43:28):
gotta persevere.
Jean (43:30):
So where do you see yourself? What's what's coming
up for Susan? I mean, are youtalk to me a little bit about
maybe writing a book or doingyour own podcast or
Susan (43:37):
blog about it? Or blab on about it? Because yes, one of
the things that I've noticed, isbecause I am in, in medicine, I
and especially with looking athearts, we see a lot of chemo
patients, because it does tendto affect the heart sometimes.
So the conversations that I'vehad with my patients have been
so cathartic for me. For them. Iactually had a physician who
(43:57):
came back to me at one point, sothank you for being so available
to my patients, because shedealt with a lot of cancer
patients. They really appreciateyou. And it was like, wow, I
just thought it was talking.
Fortune (44:07):
Right? You know, and difference, right? You're making
a difference in their life.
Yeah.
Susan (44:11):
And it's cathartic for me, it's to talk to somebody
who's going through it gives mesomething to Oh, absolutely no
and, and feeling like especiallywhen I meet patients who are
just starting, and they're inthat tornado cycle, where
everything's spinning andthey're scared and they don't
know what's gonna happen, whereI can look and go, Hey, I'm on
this side of it. And I've beenback through this and this and
(44:34):
this and here I am, and I'mtalking to you, you know, don't
give up you'd be you know,
Jean (44:38):
sharing that's that's like on a whole like intense level of
sharing. And you know what,Susan? I'm gonna say this like,
not a lot of people like likewhen we were putting these BIOS
together whenever like, Well howdo you feel talking about this?
You know, like, whatever youwant to talk about anything? You
know, I think that's part ofwhat is so inspiring to people
that there is nothing that isreal, you know, off limits or
restricted like you're just Soreally putting it out there. And
(45:02):
like you said, saying, like,look at me, I'm on the other
side of this. And, you know,I'm, I'm here, and I'm here for
you. And that's amazing, right.
Susan (45:12):
But I had some people who did that for me too. And I, it
was amazing on the other side ofthe beginning side of it for me
to have somebody say I had agirl who was a stranger, I met
her through a friend one time wewent out to dinner, it was, you
know, friends of mine from outof town, and she was with us and
she ended up getting, you know,diagnosed with lymphoma, she
actually reached out to me, wenever talked, we were on
(45:33):
Facebook together from thatnight, really hardly ever
talked. And she reached out tome with this list of here's what
you need to the hospital. To do,here's what you need to and it
was like, you know how good thatmade me feel have to do that for
another person. From myexperience and my perspective.
It's like, what a wonderfulthing that I can now do for you.
Yeah, yeah, that's great. Youknow, because it made me feel
good. So if I can do it for you,wonderful, right? And make
(45:58):
meaning happen for what I'mgoing through.
Fortune (46:00):
And with all these challenges, you're still
enjoying your children, you'restill enjoying your husband and
your career and your life. Andyou're
Jean (46:08):
still persevering to, to not live, but to have a life.
Fortune (46:12):
And now you have a new purpose, like with this blog, or
podcast or whatever, whateveryou're gonna do.
Susan (46:19):
I keep looking at it's like, I'm like, you know, keep
running into the room. Don't dothis. Yeah. And then I run back
out again, I'm not quite ready.
I don't know what I'm avoidingyet. But I'm working that out.
Because that's, again,persevering to finish what I
want to start. There's anotherchallenge for me, I'm working on
that,
Jean (46:34):
well, you're welcome to come over and use the equipment
and just take meaning sit in theroom by yourself and just, you
know, try doing your own thingand just see how that flows for
you. You know, I think, youknow, okay, we're actually got
to wrap this up. And this couldthis could go on for like an
hour.
Fortune (46:50):
I was gonna say, Can we all agree? Yeah, perseverance is
a major part of our life. And wehave to just keep swimming.
Yeah, just like Susan
Susan (47:00):
100%. Just Keep Swimming,
Fortune (47:02):
no matter what,
Jean (47:03):
I think the other thing I want to say before we, you know,
end here is that, you know,Susan is going to join us on our
circle back for oursubscriptions. So we're going to
dive a little bit deeper intosomething. So you know, if you
subscribe, you'll be able tohear that and we can continue
this a little bit further. Butif anybody has questions for
Susan, maybe they'll inspire herwhat her first podcast should be
(47:24):
or her blog. If anybody hasquestions for us, or if anybody
knows somebody that's asinspiring. As Susan Kelsey,
please write us and let us knowbecause we would like to have
them on the show because I thinkthis kind of energy that we're
bringing now is so important inthe sharing part of you know,
it's all about the sharing. It'sall about it. So thank you,
Susan, for being with us today.
Susan (47:45):
Thank you for having me, right.
Fortune (47:53):
If you enjoyed this episode, please follow like and
share this podcast.
Jean (47:57):
For more sparks of light, follow circuitry on social
media, look for the light bulb,and become a podcast subscriber
on our website for more podcastcontent.
Fortune (48:07):
We love hearing from you all. So share questions
story or a topic that we canexplore.
Jean (48:12):
Email us at fn J at Ignite circuitry.com. And don't forget
to ignite your life
Welcome all to circuitry. It's time to ignite
your light.
Jean (00:07):
Join us as we explore this episode's thought provoking
topic and what it means to usthrough everyday life challenges
and practical spiritual tools.
Fortune (00:16):
So let's start sharing.
Hello, darling. Well, hello,
Jean (00:21):
darling. How are you?
Fortune (00:22):
I'm fabulous.
Jean (00:24):
That's good. So we've been a little on hiatus with these
holidays.
Fortune (00:29):
Yes. And the energy?
Oh, yes, the energy. Yeah, we
Jean (00:33):
felt for first we got sick. And then it was the
holiday, it was the holidays.
And then it was like we couldnot find like, people were
coming in at a town, you know,my side, your side. And then it
was like trying to get together.
So we're very excited about thisepisode. What's our topic?
Fortune (00:50):
Our topic is perseverance. And we have
someone that is a champion. Oh,she is.
Jean (00:58):
And let me tell you something. This is our first is
our first episode where we havea guest. So we're really
excited. And let's just jumpinto perseverance. And then we
will bring Susan Kelsey on andshe will she'll have a little
chat with us. Yes, no. So whatdo you got?
Fortune (01:17):
Well, what do I got? I think that perseverance for me
is chat is is living in thechallenge, really accepting the
challenge each time and you makefun of me, because I always say,
just keep walking, keep walking.
And it's kind of a personaljoke, you know, because you're
(01:40):
saying the story was we were inNew York, it's freezing cold
with the kids. And we had toget, I don't know, 10 blocks.
And I'm like, you're going let'sjust go on the subway and take
the train. And I'm going to
Jean (01:55):
come in a bit of stamina.
Yeah, just keep walking. Justkeep walking. And I kept saying,
Stephanie's freezing. Right,let's let's jump in a subway.
Let's
Fortune (02:03):
grab a cat. So I unpack that for myself. Yeah. While I
was doing the research, and Ithink that sometimes we think
we're persevering. Like Ithought I was persevering to
keep walking. But reallyinstead, I wasn't facing other
options because of fear. Yeah.
Ooh, deep, right. I like that.
(02:25):
Yeah,
Jean (02:26):
I don't like it, but I liked it.
Fortune (02:27):
But sometimes we do persevere. And we think that
we're just keep going withsomething. But really, it's not
for the good. I'm just giving alittle twist on it. Sorry.
Jean (02:38):
Well, no, that's really true. Because part of what like
I was gonna say is that you'renot persevering. Unless you're
changing something. Yes. Oh,yeah. That's one of my things.
Yeah. Because if you're stayingjust in your tight little
comfort zone, and everything'son schedule, and this is the way
my life goes, and it's all good,no growth, something comes and
(02:59):
then you're just like, resistantto that, you know, yes. Or like,
you know, oh, we'll take a cabor not. No, no, no, I don't know
what that means. Or I don't knowwhat that's gonna look like with
the kids with us. Right? Solet's just keep going.
Fortune (03:10):
Right? So instead of facing the other option, I know
this way, right? Exactly,exactly. So perseverance does
include expanding, changing,like what you're saying, You
know what I mean? Like, allthose components have to go into
the persevering in order for itto really mean something, right?
But
Jean (03:28):
ultimately, it's taking us to a more complete and wiser
version of ourselves, if we letit. Don't give it a you could
say that, like, on a huge level,like, oh, I had this really
traumatic thing happened to me.
And it caused me to go inwardand explore and really get to
know myself. Or you could justsay, You know what, next time
I'm in New York, and we need togo on the subway, I know that
(03:51):
the kids handled it just fine.
Right? So you're you you know,something now that you did not
know, before, it can be bigger,it can be small, right? But it
makes you grow? Yes, yes. Andfeel stronger. Right? And when
you have the mindset of thatrestriction, because it's
really, I don't know if you wantto call it restriction, but it's
(04:11):
restriction of the fear. Okay,then you will have the results.
You don't mean the restrictionequals the results, right. The
restriction of the fear therestriction of the negative
thoughts? Yeah, you know, allthat comes up with results that
are well, it's the key totransformation. Yes, it is. It's
(04:31):
like the magnifying glass. Butit's also the south it's also
the healing ointment. Because wecan look at it as like, Oh, this
is a really like this darknessis there. There is no darkness
there is only goodness andlight, if that is our
consciousness, so everythingthat's happening to us is
happening for us, not to us.
Right, right. Right. So if wecan look at it and then that
(04:55):
sucks when it's like reallysomething bad like you go, God
It's just happening to me andlike, I don't know how I'm gonna
pay this bill, or I don't knowhow I'm gonna get through that,
or this relationship is ending,right? Does that mean? Well, I
now be die alone? You know, youcan go through a really scary
place. Yes. But if you cantackle the thing, like you just
realized something like that, ifyou can get to the brute if you
(05:18):
can say, why is why not evenjust why, but not just why is it
happening? But what do I need todo to really grow in myself?
Yes,
Fortune (05:31):
yes, yes, yes. And of course, myself, of course,
connect to because yourspiritual growth has everything
to do everything to do withperseverance.
Jean (05:41):
That's when we gain the most insight, right? apps if we
don't go through these things,and we're just like, like, we
always say, like, be a robot,you know, right, then it's just,
it's just every it's GroundhogDay.
Fortune (05:55):
Yes. The same thing over and over? Well, you know,
me, I like to make lists, and Iwrote some things that helped me
persevere. Okay, what are theyfocus on what's positive? So as
you're going through thatchallenge, try to find what's
positive in it, asked for help,which is a problem that we all
(06:17):
have me, but you're looking atme? Yes, I am looking at you.
Because that's your number oneissue is asking for help. You
know, I mean, I love it wheneven you go to Google and ask
Google, because that's like,
Jean (06:29):
she's asking, Googling, instead of taking three hours to
try to figure it out. Mygoodness, isn't that bad? It is,
oh, no, you're
Fortune (06:36):
getting better, you're getting better. Okay, get rid of
the negative thoughts aboutmyself, because a lot of times
that is a big blockage with us,you know, we start thinking
about all the negative thingsabout ourselves, and then it we
can't proceed
Jean (06:52):
on ourselves, you know, not move forward. Like you're
saying a lot of people can be alittle bit of perfectionist
about things, yes, you know, orthey have a certain self image
about themselves. So we that's ajudgment. We're judging
ourselves. It sounds like we'reexonerating ourselves. But we're
really judging ourselves reallysaying, This is who I am.
Because anytime you're decreeingwhat something is as
Fortune (07:12):
a reality, and you created your reality. Yeah. So
envision the end goal. So Ithink like when you have to
persevere to get throughsomething, it's important to
really envision what you want.
Yeah. But yes. So that reallyvote in that? Yes. And Wait, one
more?
Jean (07:31):
Can I share that? When I share? Wait one minute,
Fortune (07:35):
and realize it's the journey that makes it all
happen? Yes. The end goal, it isso good. Whatever you want what?
Listen, I'm here just before Igo there in my underwear.
Jean (07:48):
It's not bad. Oh, it's just like, yes. But I'm gonna go
back to what you're saying here.
You don't have to figure it allout in one giant swoop. Right?
It is a journey. It is notwhat's that? What's that
expression? It's not, right.
It's a sprint, it's a marathon.
Right? Exactly. So it's like, wewant to just like have it all in
a tidy little package. And weknow exactly what's going to
(08:09):
happen next. And but you don'thave to solve it right away. No,
you can just like you're saying,find the positive thing in it or
find how you can feel betterabout it, find a baby step you
can take, right, that will bringyou to the next part of it. Even
if it doesn't have to be thisgrand leap. It can just be what
(08:29):
do I have to do right now? Orwhat do I have to do today or
this week to get make some kindof impact on this in a positive
way?
Fortune (08:41):
Right, right. And think about how it benefits others?
Yes, when you do that, okay.
Because sharing is one of ourmost magical things that we can
do.
Jean (08:53):
Yes. And you know, sometimes when the roadblock
occurs, it's telling you thatyou're going in the wrong
direction. And sometimes it's agood friend or a teacher or a
parent or a child can tell youwell, you know, mom, or you
know, my friend, you do do this,or maybe this is happening
because right or even thoughthis is painful, I think it's
(09:17):
for the best for you. And here'swhy. So that's a big part of
transformation is sharing it and
Fortune (09:25):
right and, and what about when someone comes to you,
and you try to help thempersevere, but really, it's the
mirror. Oh, it's alwayswhatever, they're right,
whatever. We're
Jean (09:35):
all a part of each other's grape cluster. And we're all
there for a reason. You know, Imean, anything that's happening
to any one of us, right, we haveto look at it within ourselves
and ourselves. Yes, absolutely.
jencks by me. But what I waswhat I was going to say as you
talked about, what is it youwant? You know, yep, I and this
isn't, this isn't putting you inyour underwear. But but one of
(09:57):
our first spiritual teacher Isthat we kind of Yes. mazing?
Man, yes. His main golden ticketquestion to you, and we refer
back to it is yes. What do youwant? And you know, that sounds
so easy. Oh, no, it's not.
(10:17):
Because when you say what youwant, there's always this little
internal dialogue that goes on,that says, Well, if you do that,
then you don't have thisanymore. Or you may have to do
this painful thing or may gethard, or you may have to
struggle or, and that stops usin our tracks. And that's when
we need to push through thehardest when it's the
(10:38):
uncomfortable thing. Yes, that'swhen we need to persevere. Yeah.
Because that is transformation.
Yes.
Fortune (10:46):
And also recognizing and finding your strength in the
action or the journey. So like,what, like when you're doing
something good? Recognize it?
Yeah. Because a lot of times,you just have a little credit,
right? You got to give yourselfcredit. Because we'll go oh,
well, I just thought I wassupposed to do that, or whatever
it No, that is something that'samazing. And that's why we're so
(11:08):
excited about having Susan,because there's so many amazing
things that she probably doesn'teven realize. Yeah, well,
Jean (11:15):
when we started talking to her about, you know, some of the
things I think the comments shemade when we were doing this the
bio together for her. It waslike, that sounds like another
person. It's like, no, they you,you and me were like going
that's exactly Susan, is thisamazing? I mean, I've called her
Dr. Susan, for years, you know,right, right? She wasn't she was
(11:36):
my personal phone in therapistfor and still is, right? Um, you
know, because she just has thatability to really look at
something and objectiveobjectively, but also in a cheap
advising. Yeah, she's a medic,and she's she, she knows you.
And she's going to really tryand help you through it. And
(11:57):
that is such an amazing quality.
But we'll get to Susan in aminute. Yes, we will. She's
taken up on your time here.
Anyway, so when things aren'talways following exactly into
place? What happens? Well, wepanic. Yeah. It's the triggers.
Fortune (12:16):
Yeah, we have all these triggers that set us back. And
that's when we have to what isour favorite thing, realign real
with the Creator or higherpower? Or whatever, and realize
that those things are that thatis the magic, right?
Jean (12:34):
Magic? That is the light coming in? overcome that? Oh,
yeah. Miracle, that's theblessing if you can allow it in.
You know, just like givingbirth, you know, any woman out
there telling you, you know,you're going, I want to be me, I
want to be me. And then it'slike, The baby's coming. I don't
want to go, I don't want to dothis. Because it's gonna be
(12:57):
painful. Right. Right. Right.
But
Fortune (12:58):
when you get that baby, right, it's wonderful.
Jean (13:01):
There's the blessing. So, you know, I'm not saying every
thing we go through is the sameas going through labor. But
there is an analogy. Yeah,there's an example there that
it's through that pain orthrough that discomfort or that
struggle? Well, I think goodcoming.
Fortune (13:16):
A lot of times, we don't see that. But, you know,
if we could, it's like havingthe million million dollar
check. You know, you don't? Youdon't see it. You know what I
mean? You don't see it, youdon't have it in your hands. But
you have to just know that ifyou do that uncomfortable thing,
it's coming? Well,
Jean (13:32):
it's a it's a big distraction to when the all that
stuff is going on in your heador going on in the situation or
you go, I don't know what to do,you know, this is it can be
overwhelming to even know whereto start or know why it's
happening to you. Right? And,and that's why you have to stop.
Right? But like, what's therepeat here? Like sometimes,
(13:53):
like we were talking yesterday,I won't get into what we're
talking about, because it's verypersonal. But it was it's what
is the repeat here? What, it maylook different. Right, right.
But what is the similarity herein the way you're approaching
this or the pattern that youhave in these matters or your
emotional reaction? If you canstart honing in on those, then
(14:15):
you know, it's not the chaos orthe pain that you have to push
through. It's your own
Fortune (14:21):
patterns. Right. And it's about recognizing it, what
you're saying. And really, youknow, I mean, I know you're
saying it's personal, but it'sreally about valuing yourself.
You know, that's what we weretalking about. Yeah, that's what
I'm talking about. It keepscoming up.
Jean (14:34):
Yeah. That's usually a sign of yours, you know, that
it's something you need to workon. Seriously? Yes,
Fortune (14:40):
yes, yes, yes. And you don't realize that you're,
you're creating your ownmonster, but that, you know, and
the more that you can recognizeit, and the more that you can
see it, you know, you pull yourbootstraps up and you go, Okay,
I got to do this, you know,because if I don't do this And
it's not even doing that it'sfinding different ways within
(15:04):
that challenge to change how youwould handle it. You know, like
we were talking about, rightaway, I tried to fix everything,
and how I had to just stop andjust let it be, just let it be,
let somebody else fix it, youknow, and that's really hard,
because I just want it to befixed. But really, you're not
fixing it, you're, you're makingit worse, you know what I mean?
(15:26):
But recognizing that is thewhole price,
Jean (15:28):
you know, you know, we've talked about this. We haven't
talked about this on the showyet, but okay, let's talk about
it a little bit, we sometimeswill hit these places in our
lives, where it's like, Oh, mygoodness, I can handle this,
this is too much. This is right.
We asked for it. That's whathappens. It happens in smaller
degrees. And sometimes as youlook back, like in the
(15:52):
beginning, when you start goingthrough like an awakening of
yourself, and you're wanting todo personal transformation,
whether it's self care, orspirituality, whatever it is,
you can go to this place ofgoing, Okay, I want to change I
want to be bigger, better, youknow, happier, you know, more
productive, more in tune to theuniverse, all those good things.
But when you ask to alignyourself with the universe, wow.
(16:15):
Right? You're on a rollercoaster and you're strapping
yourself in. And sometimesthere's a little hill, and
sometimes there is this big.
Click, click, click, and you'regoing, Oh, geez, what's coming?
Right? Right. Right, you canalmost learn to feel it. Right.
Right. And it can be scary. Yes.
But what happened? Wait, that'swhen when you are aligned with
(16:36):
the universe, that's when you'reletting in?
Fortune (16:42):
Trusting, right, trusting that this is going to
be the greatest ride of yourlife? Not that it's going to be
like terrifying, right? Youknow, I mean, so just believe
that, Okay, this looks reallybad. But how can I flip this?
You know, and that's with yourkids, you know, dealing with
kids? And, you know, I mean,I've dealt with a lot of
different challenges with yourmarriage with your job getting
(17:06):
sick, you know, even evenfinding what you want. Yeah, can
be, you know, a scary thing,because now you're, you're
putting it out there. Well, youhave to actually climb the
mountain, you know what I mean?
So, you know, it can get
Jean (17:21):
bumpy and yeah, and it can be it can feel like retreat, run
away,
Fortune (17:26):
right. But the perseverance in all of that
shows us that, at the end, it'samazing.
Jean (17:36):
Sometimes you can't see it right away. So we have to, like,
we can't just like put like thisbig, oh, this glossy little
picture of it. It's it's not,you know, I think that's kind of
what the show is about a littlebit is trying to say to people,
you know, you're not alone, weall go through these things,
right. And it's, it's a journey,and it's not, it's an it's an
everyday moment to moment, tokeep the consciousness that you
(17:58):
have wanted to transform. Andthat's kind of why we're here,
right is to work on ourselvesand be happy to be happy.
Fortune (18:06):
And, you know, getting each other's back, you know,
what I mean? Like, you know,giving support, sure, you know,
and sharing that we all are on ajourney. And some I mean, we all
have different journeys. Andlisten, somebody can have a
hangnail and think it's theworst thing in the world, you
know what I mean? And somebodycan, you know, have surgery and
(18:27):
pop right out of the bed. Right?
You know what I mean? So it'slike, we all take things in our
own degree. Sure.
Jean (18:32):
I'm talking about the alignment thing, when, when we
were talking about, we heard avery inspirational lecture about
alignment. And we startedtalking about that. And I was
telling you that when I firststarted when I was, and Susan
was around, during these times,when we started started, like
looking at different, likespiritual tools or, or things
like, like, tarot or
Fortune (18:54):
something to connect whatever I write, I started
reading
Jean (18:56):
this book about runes, and it was an old Nordic prayer, and
I told you about it. And it's avery simple prayer, but I use it
all the time when like whenthings are like really spinning
out of control, or just a dailykind of a reminder. And that is
I will, to will, thy will. Andthat's very powerful. And when
(19:20):
you inject that into your lifeand into your consciousness,
you're really saying, I knowwhat the universe has in store
for me, is going to be amazing.
Yeah, and I trust that. And you
Fortune (19:34):
know what the secret to that is least tell me is knowing
when to do that. Becauseusually, it's like when you're
like on your last, you know,well, I like
Jean (19:44):
to do it when I'm completely comfortable in a bath
and yeah,
Fortune (19:48):
yeah, exactly. No, it's so good right now. No, it's when
you are really frustrated orupset to realign your thoughts
with something like that. beliefand
Jean (20:00):
sentry. Yeah, yes. All right. So I think we've laid the
concept down of perseverance.
I'd like to talk a little bitabout Susan, Susan Kelsey is our
first guest. And I think that wehad like, this little intro
cooked up in our mind, of what,you know, we've had, we wanted
to introduce her to everybody,but I'm gonna let her do the
talking. I'm just gonna say thispart of it. And then you can
(20:21):
add, what you want to add, is,while putting this idea that she
was coming on the show together,we had a great talk last night.
And one of the things that cameout of that talk was that
something that's inspirationalto her is when she kind of
connects with people share,whether it's on social media or
whatever the journey that she'sbeen on. She's, it's been like,
(20:43):
really, such a great experiencefor her to see. Just like when
we, when we see oh, we've got alistener in Spain or Australia
or something. We're going wow,we're really we're losing our
paths
Fortune (20:56):
are there. Now how it's helping? Yes. That's such that's
the
Jean (21:00):
best part. Yeah. And so in that inspiration, Susan has
really been very vulnerable, andput out exactly what's going on
internally and externally forher and some of her journeys.
And it's really made people feelconnected to her. And also
inspired by her.
Fortune (21:18):
Yes. So yes. And you know, she has a lot to talk
about, because she's had a veryfabulous life. Oh, my goodness,
a lot of things going on. Shehas five wonderful children. She
has gone back to college laterin life. You know, it's a little
bit challenging, and she's had alot of recent experiences that
(21:39):
have been challenging. Yeah. Butshe still has a smile on her
face. And she's still swimming.
Jean (21:45):
Yep. All right. So the Hello, Susan, are you there?
Susan (21:50):
Yeah. Hello.
Jean (21:52):
Welcome. How are you doing today?
Susan (21:56):
Good to be here. I'm good. I'm good.
Jean (21:58):
Awesome. Awesome. Well, I want to start off with this, you
know, we put this promo out. Andit's it's Dory. So what is this?
What is this Just keep swimming?
Where did this come from?
Susan (22:11):
Just keep swimming. came as it started, actually, when I
was working, when I had to goback to work. You know,
unexpectedly, I stayed home withmy kids. And I was lucky enough
to do it. I went back to work.
And it would come on terrible,terrible nights in the middle of
the restaurant when everythingwas, was getting too busy. And
you're all overwhelmed. And Ijust stand there and go, just
keep swimming. Just keepswimming, just keep swimming.
(22:31):
Just to try to get to the nextstep. But then it just so I
could keep going all night. Andthen it just took off into
meaning so much more as laborchallenges came to me that it
that it became more profound.
Jean (22:45):
Yes. Well, we've we've got some challenges that we want to
explore with you. And I guess wewant to explore them not from
the standpoint of dwelling on,you know, the challenge, but
like, how you how you reallypersevered and got through it.
And I think one of my favoriteones that I that we were talking
about from when I was tellingfortune, like one of the things
(23:05):
I wanted to talk about on theshow, is I remember when we were
in college, okay, or it wasbefore college, we still talk on
the phone and way too late onthe phone. And and we used to
explore things and you'readopted, and you've known this
your whole life and you kind ofhad this real, you know, we had
a great family, all that goodstuff. But you had a curiosity
(23:29):
about, you know, who were yourparents? I mean, you know, we
had convinced ourselves that,you know, your mom was this
glamorous flight attendant andBrian Jones, you know, from the
Rolling Stones was your birthfather, and we have all these,
like little fantasies on who youcould where your origins really
were. But you really wanted toconnect, and you found ways of
(23:52):
being spy girl, that were veryclever. So
Fortune (23:56):
technology and yeah, the technology that we have
today. Yes, yeah,
Susan (23:59):
it was it was an interesting journey. It was
definitely a thought process ofthe last piece of the puzzle.
You know, it's like, everythingelse was there but knowing who
where you came from on thatbiological genetic level was the
last piece of the puzzle.
Jean (24:14):
I mean, you even to libraries. I did.
Susan (24:17):
It was, you know, back then again, it was it was there
was no Internet, there was no,you know, I remember going into
the New York Public Librarytrying to look up birth records
trying to look up, you know, anyinformation any glimpse, you
know, microfiche? microfiche?
Remember microfiche? Oh, yeah.
Anybody under a certain agewon't even know what that is.
That's true. But yes, sitting inmicrofiche, trying to find
(24:39):
addresses and any clue that Icould get to figure out I knew I
had a name I did have a name. SoI at least have the name to go
with but usually spelling rightyeah, yes, yes, yes. And just go
back and then I get on a rollwith it and then I would stop
and it was then it would startagain and stupid. I did it deaf.
(25:00):
mately was a exercise andperseverance.
Jean (25:04):
Yeah. Anybody got to resolve it? Oh, my goodness. Did
you ever get an answer? But yougot to another family and
extended family. I mean, youhave brothers and sisters now
you have
Susan (25:13):
no, it was a fabulous. I was a good story. You know, you
sometimes hear that the storiesdon't end well, that they're not
as welcoming. But it ended upbecoming an absolute more
family. Yeah, my pleasure. Andmy mother who raised me became
very good friends. And it justkind of melted into this big,
large happy family. Absolutely.
I was very, very lucky. Yeah.
(25:36):
And
Jean (25:36):
it was it was great for your kids to because they had
aunts and uncles now and anothergrandma. Right. Right. Before so
that was amazing. Absolutely.
Fortune (25:45):
Yeah, that perseverance was amazing to inspire. Because,
you know, you've given so muchto those people to, you know,
to,
Susan (25:52):
you know, and it was I mean, I definitely, definitely
am part of the family thatraised me, but it was nice to
see people who look like me. Youknow, like, that was the missing
piece in my world. You know, Imean, it's crazy, but it's like,
okay, well, that's what the eyescame from. And that's where the
early gray hair came from?
Jean (26:08):
Well, and even seeing them in your children. Yes. You know,
100% there are there, there arepictures, we're all going oh my
gosh, that is like Elizabeth,you know, and it's amazing. It's
amazing to have that. You know,talk about your children a
little bit, you've got, youknow, you know, I adore them.
(26:31):
And, you know, I've been, I'vebeen privileged to be godparent
to some of these kids, and I'vedefinitely I, you know, one of
the happiest things about mylife is that I got to be there,
Auntie gene. So, these kids allhave amazing talents,
creativity, brains, they'rethese big brains.
Susan (26:55):
And that's part of that's part of, you know, my whole
cluster of immediate great, too,because we're all we're all
discusses and thinkers and, youknow, people who kibitz over
things and so all thosediscussions went on around them
their whole life, you know, thathelps you it wasn't just me.
Jean (27:10):
Yeah, one thing I want to talk about these kids and the
amazing thing is that they'veall like be with your support,
Kirk support your, your, yourvillage, support your mother
support. You were you wereamazing advocate. And again,
like really finding informationvery resilient and persevering
to get the answers and help yourkids needs when they hit certain
(27:34):
things that were challenges forthem. Can you talk a little
about that?
Susan (27:38):
It was just important to me. I had I had one son who was
my second son was diagnosed withAsperger's when he was four. You
know, our and we you definitelyhad issues even from a younger
age, but that nobody couldreally it was that was all new
at the time.
Jean (27:53):
Because to me, you remember my reaction? I never
remember before?
Fortune (27:59):
Yes, yes.
Jean (28:01):
I was like, yes.
Susan (28:02):
I mean, I think it went on, like the diet and the
diagnostic book of mentalillnesses. I think it was the
year after Daniel was born.
Yeah, I think was 96. So it wasall new to everybody. Yeah. And
it was scary. And it was scary.
It was scary. Because there weredefinitely issues he was
definitely different than myfirst son trying to discipline
him trying to and it's funny,because you know him now and
(28:24):
he's very sweet. And he's verylaid back and he better but at
the time, he was not that atall, you know, and it was very
challenging because he wasnothing like my first son. I
didn't know how to handle itdidn't know what to do with it.
You're trying all the parentingtricks you think, you know? And
it's like, what the heck none ofthis works.
Jean (28:41):
Yeah, what am I gonna do the flip side
of that is that there was alsothis this character this little
funny, smart you know,mischievious little kid that was
like, whatever it was like whenwhen it was like, Oh, he's got
he's he's in he's on thespectrum over there with this
spread said spectrum EQ them,and they he has autism. He's
(29:02):
Brian. I know. So not
Susan (29:05):
knowing what that means.
Right section of it. What'syou're looking at, you're going
oh, this is something terrible.
It has a name, and a book and ithas a name. And you're just
assuming it's the most awfulthing in the world. And that's
one of the great things that youcome to find out which is
talking about, you know,flipping your perspective on the
bad things, and looking at itdifferent and going well, it
also comes with a lot
Fortune (29:27):
of things. Yes, yeah.
Yeah, yes. How it makes them sodifferent but yet amazing,
because they're out of the box.
I mean, you help me too, becauselike I didn't under I went
through the same thing as youyou know, but you were like,
yeah, it's okay. You know what Imean? It's okay. And that really
helped me when I you know, whenmy daughter got diagnosed, so it
(29:48):
really went that
Susan (29:49):
was one of the good I'm glad I'm glad it helps you and I
mean, it is and then theeverybody who came along I had a
lot of I was very lucky tobecause I had a lot of teachers
and other people who gave meinformation. So made me feel
like, Oh, this is going to beokay. But it was terrifying in
the beginning. It's like, what'sgoing to happen to him, you
know, and then I had babysat fora child who had full on autism,
(30:09):
like the very the kind that whenyou think of autism that you
picture when I was younger, andI can't communicate, and they
can't, you know, in there, andit's like, you're going, what's
gonna happen? What's gonnahappen? Yes, you know, and even
and you know what, even those,those kids, they're okay to, you
know, so. And so as you're facedwith things that sit on your
(30:30):
lap, you have this moment whereyour head spin. And of course,
we go to the worst place, and wego to the worst case scenario,
and we go to the, oh, it's allgonna be awful. And what am I
gonna do? And then slowly, butsurely, you have to kind of find
out information, you have totalk to people you have to
research. And that's what I did.
I dove into it. It was like, letme find out. And that's my way
of doing things I want to divein. And I want to find out
(30:50):
everything I can possibly knowgood, bad and ugly about this.
And then we're gonna figure outwhat we need to do.
Jean (30:56):
Yeah, well, I remember I remember very, very, it was it
was it's actually I've usedthese words in other scenarios.
Okay. So you're very inspiringto me at this moment. I remember
the radical rebel, you know,that just wanted to say, okay,
all of these qualities are, Idon't want them changing him. I
don't want them this. Yeah. Oh,yeah. protect you.
Susan (31:19):
And my parents, my parents were like that. Yeah.
And you came up against a lot ofthat.
Jean (31:24):
You said, Okay. And I love that you love him so much. But
if if I came home, and I toldyou that he was having trouble
seeing the chalkboard, would youallow me to go get him glasses
so he could see it better? Likehe could see like, everybody
else was seeing it a little bitbetter? And I was like, Oh,
Fortune (31:42):
well, that's a part of it. That's a part of it.
Jean (31:45):
Like, like I said, Susan has a way easing into it.
Fortune (31:48):
Right? Right, right. So make you accept what's happening
and know that there is a pathwayforward, when we have to find we
have to get on that path, right?
Instead of fight. And
Susan (31:56):
that's a lot of it to accepting it is almost even even
down to physical pain. You know,you're getting a shot. You know,
somebody's going to do that. AndI don't know if you've ever
tried this before, but somebodyI read it somewhere and it
works. Okay, they're gonna dothis. It's gonna be painful. I'm
gonna get into the pain. It'snot as painful. Your brain
knows.
Right? Right. Right. Okay, I'maccepting it. Yes, yes, I know.
(32:18):
Exactly. emotional pain,all of that stuff. Same thing.
Jean (32:21):
So you're saying like, the anticipation of it is sometimes
more scary than actually whathappens? What
Susan (32:25):
I mean, not accepting the fact it's here. It's reality is
right, right, right in front ofyou. It's like tearing your
face. Right? Right. And you'rearguing with it, you're fighting
it, you're trying to make it goaway. And in that trying to make
it go away, what happens it getsbigger, it grows, it gets
darker. It gets because youyou're not accepting it. So now
it's become it's become this,even think about the dumping.
(32:48):
Oh, I have to do this today. AndI don't want to do it. And now,
as we're avoiding it, all youthink about all day long is the
thing you're avoiding. Right?
Where if you just said, Oh, Ihave to do that at five o'clock
at five o'clock? I'm going to doit. You don't think about it
again for five o'clock.
Fortune (33:01):
Right? And it changes everything. It's so totally
accepted. Everything. Acceptanceis huge. Yes, yes. Yes.
Jean (33:07):
All right. Before we run out of time, I have something
that I really want to talkabout, I want you to because I
think a lot of people go througha similar experience or
something that that's relatableand you got a diagnosis a couple
of years ago, and it was it waslife changing. And I think
that's part of like where you'veconnected to a lot of people and
(33:28):
help inspire people. So can youtell me a little bit about what,
when you got the diagnosis orwhat what was the process you
went through to get to this? Iguess, very proactive. And I'm
not saying you don't have toughtimes, I know you do. But how do
you keep going Susan?
Susan (33:45):
In 2018, I was diagnosed with osteosarcoma, which is a
bone cancer typical pediatrichad had a pain in my knee that I
thought I just hurt myselfworking out and somehow other
went from that to all of asudden somebody sitting on the
other end of a phone telling meI have cancer, which was
devastating. And I mean, again,it's like you, you we all know
people with cancer, everybodyknows somebody, but until when
(34:06):
they say it to you, it's adifferent gut punch, a totally
different gut punch, you know,and then going through the
treatment, which was for me, itwas it was pretty severe because
it is almost a blood bornecancer. So they hit you where
you're in the hospital with forthe chemo. I had reactions to
the chemo. You know, and thatpart actually
Jean (34:28):
gave me like kind of wrongest chemo, there's an out
there I thought.
Susan (34:33):
Yep. And I was in I was in I was hospitalized for it.
They ran it for five days. So itwas it was it was just I was
Jean (34:39):
doing COVID And nobody could come to see you. That was
Susan (34:42):
it. No. Chemo was good.
It was the lung surgeries whenit came back. That was during
COVID where nobody could comesee me That was awful. But yeah,
you go through it and your brainI mean, that beginning that
beginning for everybody is likeyou're caught up in a tornado.
And you have no idea whereyou're gonna land. You know, I
describe it to people all thetime. And that's what it feels
like when they say, because youdon't know what's going to
(35:04):
happen. You don't know what theend result is going to be. You
don't know what they're going todo to you. And you're just
standing there going crap. Youknow, and your brain goes into
horrible places. Am I going tobe there when my daughter
graduates from high school? Am Igoing to see my grandchildren?
Am I going to do you know, Imean, there's all these because
cancer to us, represents themost horrible, like, there's
other things that can take youout. But for some reason, cancer
(35:26):
and all of our collective mindsis always the worst thing. Yes.
Yes. You know, and it was justbut I knew it was there. I had,
it was the same thing, theacceptance, this is what I'm
dealing with. I want to be therewhen my daughter graduates, I
want to be to see mygrandchildren. So what do I have
to do? Right, right. And it's arollercoaster ride. There are
(35:49):
definitely days where I don'twant to do it. Well, you just I
don't want to play anymore.
Jean (35:54):
You just You just took some of what we were talking
about earlier and put it intoreal physical terms. Like, okay,
what is it that I was
Susan (36:03):
listening to you talk and it was like, Oh, yes, very, very
much. So it's, it's where weresist. It's where we panic.
It's where we, you know, andeverybody's triggers different.
And going back to what y'allwere talking about before. I
think my lesson in this isasking for help. Letting people
do things for me allowing myselfto say I hurt,
Fortune (36:21):
vulnerable. I don't care. That was a big one. Susan,
right. Yeah, that was I did notI just want to do everything
yourself. Yeah. And I was like,oh, no, yes. Yeah.
Susan (36:30):
And currently, I am stubborn as my older son calls
me, you're very stubborn Mom,
Fortune (36:35):
wait, and sometimes because we don't we go against
it. Other challenges come toreally knock us down. And that
was literally what happened toyou. Right? If you
Susan (36:49):
keep resisting it, if you keep trying to make it bend the
way you think you can handle Ican handle it if I just take
care of it. All. Right. Well,you know, I have to stop but my
dad
Jean (37:01):
had lung cancer. And you live through that with me
boasted, yes. And I canremember, before he had lung
cancer he had, he was goingblind. Okay. And he got a
treatment for that andexperimental treatment at Emory
University, and they cured hisblindness. And then he had
before that he had where theveins to his heart, we're not,
(37:24):
we're not pumping the runningout. So they took veins from his
legs, and they put them into hischest and they remove it, they
just transported these veins up,he had a massive heart attack.
Okay, triple bypass surgery forthat. Then, I know, the
challenges just keep cominghome. And I was like, Dad, you
know, we can rebuild you we havethe technology by the end of
(37:46):
this year, the $21 million manand $8 million. Man, you're,
you're gonna be you're gonna bea young kid. Again, by the time
we replace all these parts, youknow, and that was the joke but,
but when he when he got lungcancer, and he was going through
the chemo, I mean, what youknow, you guys knew my dad, very
strong guy very, you know,proactive, optimistic, and he's
a sex successful businessman. Hewas, you know, everybody was
(38:09):
inspired by Andy Yes. And thathe it he dissolved into tears,
because he had to go back forthese. You have to go back and
have another scan to see if he'sright. To challenge and he just
took my call it oh my god, hefell apart. And he was like,
Please don't ask me to I can'tdo this anymore. I can't do I
(38:31):
can't do that.
Susan (38:32):
And he was he was at the end of a lot of like he was he
was fragile when they gave it tohim. Well, I said the word
right.
Jean (38:38):
And I said, Dad, you know, you know, I was exploring
spirituality. At that point inlearning alone. I was like, What
do you think you need totransform in yourself? That
maybe that's why this keepshappening. And he kind of just
patted me on the hand and he waslike, I think I need just accept
and never stop fighting that I'mgonna die. And I was like,
Fortune (39:00):
well, but we're all gonna
Jean (39:01):
die. I understand. But like, I think that in in, like,
he kind of had to get to thispoint where he accepted almost
his own mortality is what he wastelling me. But why
Susan (39:12):
which there's some people can't some people
Jean (39:16):
couldn't and he wanted to be here for my daughter so much
that that was what was drivinghim. And I don't think he really
came to what it was in him thathe needed to transform, but I
don't think that he was mentallyin a place where he I think he
was too tired at that point.
Well, don't think
Susan (39:33):
it I'm sure it affected him. I'm sure there were things
that probably because he wastired. You didn't see because
his interaction with the worldchanged. Yeah, but I'm sure
Jean (39:42):
Oh, yes. Yes. Well, he was much more patient with everyone.
I can tell you that. Yeah. So doyou there was who and he had
cancer. Remember
Fortune (39:50):
that? So do you feel like you have like What have you
discovered about yourself? Iknow you said but asking for
help.
Susan (39:57):
Oh, I definitely think that was a lot of it. And I tell
you daily, I still struggle withthe idea of allowing myself to
be vulnerable. I, and I'm rightnow because the second thing
that happened was it came backagain in the same spot after
they did all taking the bone outand giving me the internal
endoprosthetic. And I learned towalk and I can only run a little
bit. And no sooner does thathappen. And it came back in the
(40:19):
same spot in the soft tissue andthey had to take my leg. Why?
Cuz
Jean (40:22):
that's like, okay, so it's not bad enough that, you know,
this is happening, that you'redealing with cancer and chemo
and all that goes the horriblethings like metal and metal in
your leg and they've rebuiltyour life. Now, after all that,
then they tell you this, theygive you the decision, you have
(40:42):
to make the decision to make thedecision to have them amputate
your leg.
Susan (40:48):
Yes. And I tell you this interesting, because you talk
about like everybody, I believethat every trigger as you were
talking about earlier, it's allpersonal at all, what might be a
trigger for me is not going toaffect you at all. But it's a
big one for me, and it's goingto change my whole life. If this
happens to me. I always had afear of losing any limb. Like
really up at night a littlewhile kids fear of that. And any
(41:10):
kind of orthopedic surgery wouldfreak me out. I work in a
medical field. Nothing bothersme. But bones. Oh my god. So it
was very interesting to me thatit happened that way. And it was
like, Oh, this just figures
Fortune (41:21):
like, yes, you know, and you're gonna be okay. Even
if you lose your leg, you'regonna have a wonderful life,
Susan (41:27):
right? Yes. Is one of your worst fears. And you're
going to be alright, you'regonna be alright. Yep. Yeah.
Right. And if there's stilldays, I mean, I'm, I'm at the
point now where I need a newleg. So my leg that I have I
need like a smaller socket, soit doesn't fit well. So trying
to walk is like I'm back towhere I was when I first got it.
I am so frustrated beyondbelief. And it's like, but
(41:48):
again, it's teaching me I haveto ask, you know, my husband, I
have to ask Kirk to get me thisand give me that. And can you
bring me this? Can you and Ihate it? And obviously I still
need a little bit more thanasking for help.
Fortune (42:00):
Yeah, and waiter now.
And wait a minute. We didn'tmention about you going to
college. And now you're you'reyou're working right now. You're
waiting right now you work everyday. You do
Jean (42:12):
very physical job.
Susan (42:14):
Yes, yes, I work in a hospital setting. And I go from
room to room and push my littlemachine around and look at
people's hearts. So yeah,
Fortune (42:22):
that's, that's, that's so amazing that you can let all
that go and be ready because
Jean (42:29):
like the other word of this that we were talking about
is is to acknowledge, like, whatyou've achieved, you know, not
just look at Oh, like, what, youknow, like, I guess my question
to you is like, do you feelyou've gotten stronger through
this?
Susan (42:44):
Of course, I have. I had Well, to me, it was like, I'm
either gonna get stronger, orI'm gonna give up and go sit in
the corner. And giving up andsitting in the corner is not an
option. I'm here. I'm alive.
I've got to appreciate that. Youknow, there are things going on
around me. There's a life goingon around me. Do I want to sit
in the corner? Because I do seeit. I see people who do choose
to sit in the corner. Right?
Jean (43:07):
You know, just keep swimming took on a whole new
Yeah,
Susan (43:11):
that level Do we just keep swimming became the motto.
I always joke with people whenthey see because I have a tattoo
with story and just keepszooming on my arm. My patients
will see it. They're like, why?
What is that for us? Like,because that is my motto. That
is my reminder every day, nomatter how bad it gets. That's
what I need to do
Fortune (43:28):
gotta persevere.
Jean (43:30):
So where do you see yourself? What's what's coming
up for Susan? I mean, are youtalk to me a little bit about
maybe writing a book or doingyour own podcast or
Susan (43:37):
blog about it? Or blab on about it? Because yes, one of
the things that I've noticed, isbecause I am in, in medicine, I
and especially with looking athearts, we see a lot of chemo
patients, because it does tendto affect the heart sometimes.
So the conversations that I'vehad with my patients have been
so cathartic for me. For them. Iactually had a physician who
(43:57):
came back to me at one point, sothank you for being so available
to my patients, because shedealt with a lot of cancer
patients. They really appreciateyou. And it was like, wow, I
just thought it was talking.
Fortune (44:07):
Right? You know, and difference, right? You're making
a difference in their life.
Yeah.
Susan (44:11):
And it's cathartic for me, it's to talk to somebody
who's going through it gives mesomething to Oh, absolutely no
and, and feeling like especiallywhen I meet patients who are
just starting, and they're inthat tornado cycle, where
everything's spinning andthey're scared and they don't
know what's gonna happen, whereI can look and go, Hey, I'm on
this side of it. And I've beenback through this and this and
(44:34):
this and here I am, and I'mtalking to you, you know, don't
give up you'd be you know,
Jean (44:38):
sharing that's that's like on a whole like intense level of
sharing. And you know what,Susan? I'm gonna say this like,
not a lot of people like likewhen we were putting these BIOS
together whenever like, Well howdo you feel talking about this?
You know, like, whatever youwant to talk about anything? You
know, I think that's part ofwhat is so inspiring to people
that there is nothing that isreal, you know, off limits or
restricted like you're just Soreally putting it out there. And
(45:02):
like you said, saying, like,look at me, I'm on the other
side of this. And, you know,I'm, I'm here, and I'm here for
you. And that's amazing, right.
Susan (45:12):
But I had some people who did that for me too. And I, it
was amazing on the other side ofthe beginning side of it for me
to have somebody say I had agirl who was a stranger, I met
her through a friend one time wewent out to dinner, it was, you
know, friends of mine from outof town, and she was with us and
she ended up getting, you know,diagnosed with lymphoma, she
actually reached out to me, wenever talked, we were on
(45:33):
Facebook together from thatnight, really hardly ever
talked. And she reached out tome with this list of here's what
you need to the hospital. To do,here's what you need to and it
was like, you know how good thatmade me feel have to do that for
another person. From myexperience and my perspective.
It's like, what a wonderfulthing that I can now do for you.
Yeah, yeah, that's great. Youknow, because it made me feel
good. So if I can do it for you,wonderful, right? And make
(45:58):
meaning happen for what I'mgoing through.
Fortune (46:00):
And with all these challenges, you're still
enjoying your children, you'restill enjoying your husband and
your career and your life. Andyou're
Jean (46:08):
still persevering to, to not live, but to have a life.
Fortune (46:12):
And now you have a new purpose, like with this blog, or
podcast or whatever, whateveryou're gonna do.
Susan (46:19):
I keep looking at it's like, I'm like, you know, keep
running into the room. Don't dothis. Yeah. And then I run back
out again, I'm not quite ready.
I don't know what I'm avoidingyet. But I'm working that out.
Because that's, again,persevering to finish what I
want to start. There's anotherchallenge for me, I'm working on
that,
Jean (46:34):
well, you're welcome to come over and use the equipment
and just take meaning sit in theroom by yourself and just, you
know, try doing your own thingand just see how that flows for
you. You know, I think, youknow, okay, we're actually got
to wrap this up. And this couldthis could go on for like an
hour.
Fortune (46:50):
I was gonna say, Can we all agree? Yeah, perseverance is
a major part of our life. And wehave to just keep swimming.
Yeah, just like Susan
Susan (47:00):
100%. Just Keep Swimming,
Fortune (47:02):
no matter what,
Jean (47:03):
I think the other thing I want to say before we, you know,
end here is that, you know,Susan is going to join us on our
circle back for oursubscriptions. So we're going to
dive a little bit deeper intosomething. So you know, if you
subscribe, you'll be able tohear that and we can continue
this a little bit further. Butif anybody has questions for
Susan, maybe they'll inspire herwhat her first podcast should be
(47:24):
or her blog. If anybody hasquestions for us, or if anybody
knows somebody that's asinspiring. As Susan Kelsey,
please write us and let us knowbecause we would like to have
them on the show because I thinkthis kind of energy that we're
bringing now is so important inthe sharing part of you know,
it's all about the sharing. It'sall about it. So thank you,
Susan, for being with us today.
Susan (47:45):
Thank you for having me, right.
Fortune (47:53):
If you enjoyed this episode, please follow like and
share this podcast.
Jean (47:57):
For more sparks of light, follow circuitry on social
media, look for the light bulb,and become a podcast subscriber
on our website for more podcastcontent.
Fortune (48:07):
We love hearing from you all. So share questions
story or a topic that we canexplore.
Jean (48:12):
Email us at fn J at Ignite circuitry.com. And don't forget
to ignite your life
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