May 16, 2025 • 8 mins
Caleb and Elena discuss the unique challenges single mothers face in the dating world, from balancing parenting responsibilities to overcoming societal stigmas. This episode features inspiring stories of resilience, emotional growth, and practical tips for connecting with the right partner. Learn how traits like adaptability and communication can lead to meaningful relationships.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Being a single parent-well,it's like trying to juggle while you're,
(00:03):
y'know, riding a unicycle.
You've got your work, the kids,
the house...
and then you're supposed to somehow,
uh, find time for dating?
I know,
right?
And let's not forget the emotionaltoll-feeling guilty about carving
out even a sliver of time for yourself.
Exactly.
And I've talked to so many single momswho come to me saying,
"Caleb, how do I even prioritize me,you know?
Without feeling...
selfish."Oh,
(00:29):
that 'selfish' word?
It's such a trap.
Taking care of yourself isn't selfish;it's self-preservation.
I mean,a happy parent makes for happier kids,
doesn't it?
Absolutely.
But it's also about strategy-and,
well, creativity.
Take the story of Beth,a single mom I worked with.
She was swamped, right?
(00:50):
Managing two little ones,a full-time job...
just packed.
So, she turned to virtual dating duringnap times and when the kids were
asleep.
That's brilliant!
It is.
And she made it work by beingdeliberate-clear about her limited time,
but also honest and upfront withpotential partners.
And you know what?
The good ones respected that.
They realized her time was, well,
(01:12):
precious.
And that taps into the bigger issue too,
doesn't it?
The societal perceptions.
Single mothers often feel like they haveto over-explain their lives,
that they're somehow less worthypartners.
Yeah,
there's a stigma.
And it's unfair.
But reframing self-worth?
That's a, uh, powerful mindset shift.
(01:33):
It's not about what society sees; it'sseeing yourself as strong,
resilient, and, well, remarkable fordoing everything you already do.
Exactly.
I remember feeling that pressure after myown breakup.
I thought, "Will I seem too complicated?
Will anyone understand who I am now?"And,
uh, clearly, the answer's yes-if they'rethe right person.
Well,
(01:56):
yes, but it took, y'know, some time.
And reminding myself that my story-ourstories as single parents-they
aren't baggage; they're proof ofresilience.
It's about reframing how we seeourselves.
And honestly?
That's the core of it.
Owning your story, knowing your worth-andfinding someone who's not just
okay with it but, y'know, celebratesit-that's where the real connection
(02:18):
begins.
You know, Caleb, after all that talkabout resilience and owning
your story, it reminds me how healingafter a breakup isn't exactly
straightforward.
It's messy.
There were times I thought, "Okay,I'm finally getting stronger," and
then, bam, one little memory would justknock me sideways.
Yeah,
(02:40):
and sometimes we underestimate just howmuch we carry from those past
experiences.
It's not just about, uh, moving on; it'sabout really processing what
happened.
Exactly.
And there's this tendency to feel ashamedof the time it takes to,
I don't know, bounce back.
Right-but here's the thing (02:55):
that process,
painful as it is, makes you stronger.
It's like-I don't know-building emotionalarmor but without,
uh, closing yourself off completely.
Oh,
I love that analogy...
emotional armor.
But it's not rigid,and it's not about being invincible.
(03:16):
It's about being able to say,"This happened, it shaped me,
but it doesn't define me."Exactly.
And that brings us to resilience,
doesn't it?
I mean, single moms have it, uh,
in spades.
Think about it-you're already managing ahousehold,
a career, and parenting.
That's adaptability.
That's juggling priorities like a pro.
It really is.
(03:38):
And honestly, communication too.
I think being a parent teaches you to beso much clearer and intentional,
doesn't it?
Whether it's negotiating bedtime orexplaining complex feelings to a
child,you're refining those skills daily.
Absolutely.
And those skills are a huge strength indating too.
Whether it's setting boundaries or...
(03:59):
expressing your needs,you're already ahead of the curve.
But that's the
thing, isn't it?
Those strengths-adaptability,communication-they often go unnoticed,
even by yourself.
I remember, after my breakup,doubting anyone would ever see that side
of me.
But they do, Elena.
The right person does.
And, well, embracing that mindset,
(04:21):
owning your story-it's such a gamechanger.
It's the difference between walking intoa room with confidence or,
uh, hiding in the corner hoping no oneasks too many questions.
I suppose
it's about reframing things, isn't it?
Your story isn't...
it isn't a burden.
It's your strength.
It's your proof that you're still here,
(04:41):
still hoping, growing,and building a life worth sharing.
And that's the
heart of emotional resilience.
You're not erasing the past,but you're also not letting it define your
future.
It's, uh, it's growth.
Transformation.
You know, if we're talking aboutresilience and transformation,
there's something really inspiring abouthow single moms approach finding
the right partner.
It's not just about compatibility-it'sabout finding someone who truly
(05:06):
gets it, who respects and values yourrole as a parent.
Oh,
absolutely.
It's about feeling seen for all thelayers of who you are.
Not just a mother, not just a partner-buta whole person with dreams,
challenges, all of it.
Right.
And that might mean being a bit moreintentional about what you're looking
for.
Like, uh, laying those non-negotiables onthe table early on.
(05:29):
It saves a lot of, you know,misunderstanding down the line.
Intentional
is such a good word.
But there's a fine line, isn't there?
Between being intentional and having,
well, maybe too rigid expectations?
For sure.
It's about balancing what's realisticwith what's non-negotiable.
I had a client, Sarah-single mom of three.
Her list of must-haves was clear (05:52):
she wanted someone honest,
someone supportive, and, uh,important to her,
someone good with kids.
But she quickly realized things likehobbies or job titles-those could
be flexible.
That's so true.
It's easy to get caught up in the idea ofa perfect match and forget
that relationships,they're-they're dynamic.
(06:14):
They grow.
People grow together.
Exactly.
And sometimes it's the growing part thatsurprises you the most.
You focus on shared values,communication...
and those things make everything elsekind of...
fall into place.
And speaking of communication-it'senormous,
isn't it?
Especially for single moms who arenavigating such unique dynamics.
(06:35):
It's not just about talking; it's aboutbeing heard,
about being understood.
Absolutely.
And here's the thing-those communicationskills you've refined as a parent?
They, uh,they really shine in relationships.
Setting boundaries.
Being clear about what you need.
Those are huge strengths.
And I think that's where having a supportsystem
(06:56):
makes such a difference too.
Whether it's friends or family-or even acoach like you,
Caleb-it's the people who lift you up,
who remind you of your worth,that make it easier to bring your whole
self to a relationship.
It is.
And honestly,that network can be a game changer.
There's this one mom I worked with-Lisa.
She joined a local parenting group,
(07:18):
and what started as, you know,
social support ended up being herlifeline.
They celebrated her wins,listened when she had a tough day.
And when she started dating again?
It was like she had this...
cheering squad rooting for her.
Oh,
I love that.
It's such a beautiful reminder that youdon't have to do it all alone.
(07:38):
Love and connection-it comes from alldirections,
doesn't it?
It really does.
And when you have that foundation-to knowyou're supported,
valued-it changes how you approacheverything.
It lets you see dating not as someimpossible hurdle but as a chance
to add something meaningful to your life.
I think that's such a powerful
takeaway.
You're not starting from scratch whenyou're a single mom-you're starting
(08:03):
from experience, from resilience,
from everything you've learned about loveand strength and what truly
matters.
Exactly.
And that's the mindset shift, isn't it?
You're already enough.
The right partner?
They'll only add to the incredible personyou already are.
Mmm,
on that, I think we're all inspiredenough to take a little risk.
(08:23):
Or maybe even figure out how to jugglethat schedule for,
you know, one more date.
And that's all for today's episode of"Closer by the Day."
Thanks for being with us-and here's tobuilding even stronger connections,
wherever you are in your journey.
We'll see you next time.
Being a single parent-well,it's like trying to juggle while you're,
(00:03):
y'know, riding a unicycle.
You've got your work, the kids,
the house...
and then you're supposed to somehow,
uh, find time for dating?
I know,
right?
And let's not forget the emotionaltoll-feeling guilty about carving
out even a sliver of time for yourself.
Exactly.
And I've talked to so many single momswho come to me saying,
"Caleb, how do I even prioritize me,you know?
Without feeling...
selfish."Oh,
(00:29):
that 'selfish' word?
It's such a trap.
Taking care of yourself isn't selfish;it's self-preservation.
I mean,a happy parent makes for happier kids,
doesn't it?
Absolutely.
But it's also about strategy-and,
well, creativity.
Take the story of Beth,a single mom I worked with.
She was swamped, right?
(00:50):
Managing two little ones,a full-time job...
just packed.
So, she turned to virtual dating duringnap times and when the kids were
asleep.
That's brilliant!
It is.
And she made it work by beingdeliberate-clear about her limited time,
but also honest and upfront withpotential partners.
And you know what?
The good ones respected that.
They realized her time was, well,
(01:12):
precious.
And that taps into the bigger issue too,
doesn't it?
The societal perceptions.
Single mothers often feel like they haveto over-explain their lives,
that they're somehow less worthypartners.
Yeah,
there's a stigma.
And it's unfair.
But reframing self-worth?
That's a, uh, powerful mindset shift.
(01:33):
It's not about what society sees; it'sseeing yourself as strong,
resilient, and, well, remarkable fordoing everything you already do.
Exactly.
I remember feeling that pressure after myown breakup.
I thought, "Will I seem too complicated?
Will anyone understand who I am now?"And,
uh, clearly, the answer's yes-if they'rethe right person.
Well,
(01:56):
yes, but it took, y'know, some time.
And reminding myself that my story-ourstories as single parents-they
aren't baggage; they're proof ofresilience.
It's about reframing how we seeourselves.
And honestly?
That's the core of it.
Owning your story, knowing your worth-andfinding someone who's not just
okay with it but, y'know, celebratesit-that's where the real connection
(02:18):
begins.
You know, Caleb, after all that talkabout resilience and owning
your story, it reminds me how healingafter a breakup isn't exactly
straightforward.
It's messy.
There were times I thought, "Okay,I'm finally getting stronger," and
then, bam, one little memory would justknock me sideways.
Yeah,
(02:40):
and sometimes we underestimate just howmuch we carry from those past
experiences.
It's not just about, uh, moving on; it'sabout really processing what
happened.
Exactly.
And there's this tendency to feel ashamedof the time it takes to,
I don't know, bounce back.
Right-but here's the thing (02:55):
that process,
painful as it is, makes you stronger.
It's like-I don't know-building emotionalarmor but without,
uh, closing yourself off completely.
Oh,
I love that analogy...
emotional armor.
But it's not rigid,and it's not about being invincible.
(03:16):
It's about being able to say,"This happened, it shaped me,
but it doesn't define me."Exactly.
And that brings us to resilience,
doesn't it?
I mean, single moms have it, uh,
in spades.
Think about it-you're already managing ahousehold,
a career, and parenting.
That's adaptability.
That's juggling priorities like a pro.
It really is.
(03:38):
And honestly, communication too.
I think being a parent teaches you to beso much clearer and intentional,
doesn't it?
Whether it's negotiating bedtime orexplaining complex feelings to a
child,you're refining those skills daily.
Absolutely.
And those skills are a huge strength indating too.
Whether it's setting boundaries or...
(03:59):
expressing your needs,you're already ahead of the curve.
But that's the
thing, isn't it?
Those strengths-adaptability,communication-they often go unnoticed,
even by yourself.
I remember, after my breakup,doubting anyone would ever see that side
of me.
But they do, Elena.
The right person does.
And, well, embracing that mindset,
(04:21):
owning your story-it's such a gamechanger.
It's the difference between walking intoa room with confidence or,
uh, hiding in the corner hoping no oneasks too many questions.
I suppose
it's about reframing things, isn't it?
Your story isn't...
it isn't a burden.
It's your strength.
It's your proof that you're still here,
(04:41):
still hoping, growing,and building a life worth sharing.
And that's the
heart of emotional resilience.
You're not erasing the past,but you're also not letting it define your
future.
It's, uh, it's growth.
Transformation.
You know, if we're talking aboutresilience and transformation,
there's something really inspiring abouthow single moms approach finding
the right partner.
It's not just about compatibility-it'sabout finding someone who truly
(05:06):
gets it, who respects and values yourrole as a parent.
Oh,
absolutely.
It's about feeling seen for all thelayers of who you are.
Not just a mother, not just a partner-buta whole person with dreams,
challenges, all of it.
Right.
And that might mean being a bit moreintentional about what you're looking
for.
Like, uh, laying those non-negotiables onthe table early on.
(05:29):
It saves a lot of, you know,misunderstanding down the line.
Intentional
is such a good word.
But there's a fine line, isn't there?
Between being intentional and having,
well, maybe too rigid expectations?
For sure.
It's about balancing what's realisticwith what's non-negotiable.
I had a client, Sarah-single mom of three.
Her list of must-haves was clear (05:52):
she wanted someone honest,
someone supportive, and, uh,important to her,
someone good with kids.
But she quickly realized things likehobbies or job titles-those could
be flexible.
That's so true.
It's easy to get caught up in the idea ofa perfect match and forget
that relationships,they're-they're dynamic.
(06:14):
They grow.
People grow together.
Exactly.
And sometimes it's the growing part thatsurprises you the most.
You focus on shared values,communication...
and those things make everything elsekind of...
fall into place.
And speaking of communication-it'senormous,
isn't it?
Especially for single moms who arenavigating such unique dynamics.
(06:35):
It's not just about talking; it's aboutbeing heard,
about being understood.
Absolutely.
And here's the thing-those communicationskills you've refined as a parent?
They, uh,they really shine in relationships.
Setting boundaries.
Being clear about what you need.
Those are huge strengths.
And I think that's where having a supportsystem
(06:56):
makes such a difference too.
Whether it's friends or family-or even acoach like you,
Caleb-it's the people who lift you up,
who remind you of your worth,that make it easier to bring your whole
self to a relationship.
It is.
And honestly,that network can be a game changer.
There's this one mom I worked with-Lisa.
She joined a local parenting group,
(07:18):
and what started as, you know,
social support ended up being herlifeline.
They celebrated her wins,listened when she had a tough day.
And when she started dating again?
It was like she had this...
cheering squad rooting for her.
Oh,
I love that.
It's such a beautiful reminder that youdon't have to do it all alone.
(07:38):
Love and connection-it comes from alldirections,
doesn't it?
It really does.
And when you have that foundation-to knowyou're supported,
valued-it changes how you approacheverything.
It lets you see dating not as someimpossible hurdle but as a chance
to add something meaningful to your life.
I think that's such a powerful
takeaway.
You're not starting from scratch whenyou're a single mom-you're starting
(08:03):
from experience, from resilience,
from everything you've learned about loveand strength and what truly
matters.
Exactly.
And that's the mindset shift, isn't it?
You're already enough.
The right partner?
They'll only add to the incredible personyou already are.
Mmm,
on that, I think we're all inspiredenough to take a little risk.
(08:23):
Or maybe even figure out how to jugglethat schedule for,
you know, one more date.
And that's all for today's episode of"Closer by the Day."
Thanks for being with us-and here's tobuilding even stronger connections,
wherever you are in your journey.
We'll see you next time.
Popular Podcasts
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.