May 9, 2025 • 10 mins
In this episode, we uncover how active listening can strengthen your relationships, reduce stress, and build trust. Learn to overcome common barriers, improve communication, and discover practical techniques that transform conversations in personal and professional settings. Hear inspiring stories of transformation through the power of listening.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
So, active listening - it's more thanjust hearing,
(00:02):
isn't it?
I think most of us believe we're goodlisteners because we can repeat
what someone said.
But real listening is about connection.
It's about tuning into the other person'semotions,
understanding what they're feelingbeneath the words.
Absolutely.
And it's funny how easy it is to forgetthat,
right?
We live in a world where distractions areeverywhere-our phones,
(00:24):
our to-do lists-and it can be so temptingto zone out or jump in with
advice rather than staying present.
But when you really listen, it can...
well, it can shift everything between youand someone else.
Yeah,
and science backs this up.
Neuroscience even shows that activelistening activates something called
mirror neurons in our brains.
(00:45):
They're what help us empathize withsomeone else.
It's like the more closely we listen,
the stronger the emotional bridge webuild with them - and that can actually
lower stress levels for both peopleinvolved.
Exactly,
and it creates this incredible sense ofsafety,
you know?
When someone feels heard, truly heard,
(01:05):
it validates their emotions.
And that validation?
It's such a powerful form of connection.
I mean, Caleb, have you ever had a momentwhere someone just listened,
no advice, no interruption - and youwalked away feeling,
like, lighter?
I have, actually.
A little over a year ago, my brother andI were at a crossroads in our
(01:26):
relationship.
We grew up being close, but,as the years passed,
things got...
well, complicated.
There was one night when he called me outof the blue-he'd had a really
rough week-and I decided to just listen.
No fixing, no judgement.
And honestly,
as he kept talking,something shifted between us.
(01:47):
It wasn't just what he was sharing; itwas that I finally gave him the
space to feel heard.
And I...
I felt it too.
It was like a wall came down.
That's what got me realizing how often werush to put up our own walls
with quick responses or solutions.
Wow,
Caleb, that must've been such a healingmoment for you two.
And you're so right-that instinct tosolve is so strong sometimes.
(02:11):
It's like the story I read about howpeople in relationships often feel
unheard because their partners jump inwith solutions before fully understanding
how they feel.
We all just want to feel like ourfeelings are valid,
don't we?
Yeah, and that's one of the biggestbenefits of active listening,
isn't it?
It builds trust.
When someone feels understood,
(02:32):
they're more likely to open up,
which deepens the relationship whetheryou're talking about a personal
relationship, a colleague,or even just a friend.
Or even a stranger.
I mean, how often do we meet someone andinstantly feel connected just
because they take the time to reallylisten?
It's incredible how empathy turns eventhe most fleeting interactions
(02:53):
into something meaningful.
Right,
and active listening doesn't just buildconnection.
It can also reduce conflict,help resolve misunderstandings,
and...
really, it fosters empathy.
Which is something we all could use moreof.
And when you pair that with patience -like,
allowing pauses in a conversation - itgives people the room to express
(03:14):
themselves fully.
Yes!
Letting those silences breathe isunderrated,
isn't it?
It really is.
And,bringing it back to what you said earlier,
it all begins with just being present.
That one small choice-to give someoneyour undivided attention-can ripple
through every part of your relationship.
You know,
we were talking earlier about how beingtruly present can transform a
(03:35):
conversation.
But even the best listeners face barriers.
Distractions, for instance,might just be the biggest challenge.
Think about how often the buzz of a phoneor the pull of a to-do list
steals your focus when someone's talking.
It's so easy to be physically present butmentally somewhere else.
Yes,
distractions can totally hijack aconversation.
(03:57):
And they're everywhere nowadays,
aren't they?
But I think emotional triggers might bean even bigger challenge.
It's those moments where someone sayssomething that hits a nerve,
and suddenly, you're not really listeninganymore-you're just reacting.
Totally.
Emotional reactions can blur our abilityto hear what's actually being
(04:17):
said.
It's that automatic response, right?
Like when you interpret a comment ascriticism and feel the need to defend
yourself instead of understanding theintention behind their words.
Honestly, I've been guilty of that moretimes than I can count.
Oh,
haven't we all?
I'll admit, Caleb, there have beenmoments where I've caught myself crafting
(04:38):
a rebuttal mid-conversation, completelymissing the point of what someone
was trying to share.
It's almost reflexive, like we're wiredto prioritize being heard over
understanding the other person.
And then there's bias-those preconceived
notions we bring into conversations.
It's subtle, but when you think youalready know where someone's going
(05:00):
or what they're really trying to say,
you kind of tune out the details.
You filter everything they're sayingthrough this lens of judgment.
Exactly,
and that can lead to so manymisunderstandings.
I mean, it's like the story I came acrossthe other day about a woman
trying to explain why she was feelingoverwhelmed at work.
But her manager dismissed her concerns,
(05:22):
assuming she just needed time managementtips.
No empathy, no curiosity-just solutions.
And that's where nonverbal communication
plays such a big role too.
Sometimes, the way someone is fidgetingor their tone of voice tells
you more than their words ever could.
Picking up on those cues requires yourfull attention.
(05:42):
There's no way around it.
Absolutely.
It's incredible how much we say withouteven realizing it,
through body language, eye contact...
or the lack of it.
A nod, or even just leaning in slightly,
can show you're engaged.
And if you're not paying attention,
you miss all of those subtle but cruciallayers of meaning.
That reminds
(06:06):
me of a time I was leading a teambrainstorming session.
We had this one member who was reallyquiet,
crossing her arms and leaning back whileeveryone else was throwing out
ideas.
Now, her words said she agreed with thedirection,
but everything else screamed discomfort.
So during a break,
I pulled her aside,gave her space to talk,
and just listened without jumping in.
Turns out, she had reservations about theidea but didn't feel confident
(06:30):
enough to share them in the group.
And honestly, it changed the outcome ofthat project-her perspective
added so much clarity that we shifteddirection entirely.
Wow,
Caleb.
That's such a brilliant example of howbeing attuned to what someone
isn't saying can unlock so much insight.
It's like we need to learn to listen withall our senses,
(06:50):
not just our ears.
Yeah, and overcoming these barriers-be itdistractions,
emotional triggers,or biases-takes more than just awareness.
It's about being intentional.
You have to recognize when your mind isdrifting or when a reaction is
getting the better of you and consciouslybring yourself back to the moment.
And
give yourself grace when it happens.
(07:11):
No one's perfect at this.
The goal isn't to get it right every timebut to improve with every conversation,
to keep learning how to truly hear eachother.
Building on that idea of
intentionality, let's dive into practicalsteps to become better listeners.
These aren't just abstract concepts;they're skills anyone can practice.
First up, and maybe the most important -be fully present.
(07:36):
Put away distractions,look them in the eye,
and show them they've got your attention.
It sets the foundation for everythingelse.
And you know,
Caleb, being present is such a gift,
isn't it?
It says "I'm here for you"-without evenneeding to say the words.
But I think reflecting emotions is justas essential.
(07:56):
When you show someone you understand howthey're feeling,
you're not just listening to their words,
you're acknowledging their experience.
Exactly.
Like saying, "It sounds like you'rereally frustrated with how the project
turned out." That simple acknowledgmentcan diffuse tension because it
lets the other person feel seen.
And let's not forget asking open-endedquestions-those are gold.
(08:19):
Instead of "Are you okay?" try,
"What's been on your mind lately?"Oh,
absolutely.
Open-ended questions invite aconversation,
don't they?
And they encourage the other person toshare more,
to explore their thoughts.
Plus, practicing patience-especially inthose moments where there's silence-can
(08:40):
make a huge difference.
Caleb, do you remember the story wereceived from our listener,
Sarah?
I do.
Sarah wrote to us about how she and herhusband transformed their relationship
just by practicing active listening.
She said there was this moment where heshared something deeply personal
about his childhood that he'd neveropened up about before.
(09:00):
And instead of jumping in with her ownthoughts or questions,
she just...
let him talk.
Let him have that space.
And that space allowed them to connect ona whole
new level.
I love that story because it highlightshow trust grows when we step
back and listen without filling in thegaps with our own assumptions or
advice.
It's a perfect example of how thesetools-being present,
(09:23):
reflecting, asking thoughtful questions,
and being patient-can work together.
And it's not just for marriages,
either.
These strategies are universal.
In the workplace, a manager could say,
"I've noticed you've been quieter inmeetings lately.
How are you feeling about the team'sdirection?" That opens the door
(09:43):
for real communication.
Or with a friend who's struggling,
instead of offering solutions like,
"You should try this," you could simplysay,
"That sounds tough.
What's been weighing on you the most?"Those small shifts can make a
world of difference.
And it circles back to empathy,
doesn't it?
At the heart of active listening is thischoice to prioritize understanding
(10:07):
over responding.
When we focus on truly hearing someone,
it strengthens relationships,deepens conversations,
and creates that sense of connection weall crave.
Yes,
and it's something we can all work on.
Every single day.
So, to our listeners-when you're in yournext conversation,
try to be present.
(10:28):
Reflect what you hear.
Ask questions that matter.
And let those silences breathe.
You'll be amazed at the impact.
And that's all for today,
everyone.
Thanks for taking the time to tune in,
and remember-listening isn't just a skill.
It's a way to show love.
Take care, and we'll see you next time.
So, active listening - it's more thanjust hearing,
(00:02):
isn't it?
I think most of us believe we're goodlisteners because we can repeat
what someone said.
But real listening is about connection.
It's about tuning into the other person'semotions,
understanding what they're feelingbeneath the words.
Absolutely.
And it's funny how easy it is to forgetthat,
right?
We live in a world where distractions areeverywhere-our phones,
(00:24):
our to-do lists-and it can be so temptingto zone out or jump in with
advice rather than staying present.
But when you really listen, it can...
well, it can shift everything between youand someone else.
Yeah,
and science backs this up.
Neuroscience even shows that activelistening activates something called
mirror neurons in our brains.
(00:45):
They're what help us empathize withsomeone else.
It's like the more closely we listen,
the stronger the emotional bridge webuild with them - and that can actually
lower stress levels for both peopleinvolved.
Exactly,
and it creates this incredible sense ofsafety,
you know?
When someone feels heard, truly heard,
(01:05):
it validates their emotions.
And that validation?
It's such a powerful form of connection.
I mean, Caleb, have you ever had a momentwhere someone just listened,
no advice, no interruption - and youwalked away feeling,
like, lighter?
I have, actually.
A little over a year ago, my brother andI were at a crossroads in our
(01:26):
relationship.
We grew up being close, but,as the years passed,
things got...
well, complicated.
There was one night when he called me outof the blue-he'd had a really
rough week-and I decided to just listen.
No fixing, no judgement.
And honestly,
as he kept talking,something shifted between us.
(01:47):
It wasn't just what he was sharing; itwas that I finally gave him the
space to feel heard.
And I...
I felt it too.
It was like a wall came down.
That's what got me realizing how often werush to put up our own walls
with quick responses or solutions.
Wow,
Caleb, that must've been such a healingmoment for you two.
And you're so right-that instinct tosolve is so strong sometimes.
(02:11):
It's like the story I read about howpeople in relationships often feel
unheard because their partners jump inwith solutions before fully understanding
how they feel.
We all just want to feel like ourfeelings are valid,
don't we?
Yeah, and that's one of the biggestbenefits of active listening,
isn't it?
It builds trust.
When someone feels understood,
(02:32):
they're more likely to open up,
which deepens the relationship whetheryou're talking about a personal
relationship, a colleague,or even just a friend.
Or even a stranger.
I mean, how often do we meet someone andinstantly feel connected just
because they take the time to reallylisten?
It's incredible how empathy turns eventhe most fleeting interactions
(02:53):
into something meaningful.
Right,
and active listening doesn't just buildconnection.
It can also reduce conflict,help resolve misunderstandings,
and...
really, it fosters empathy.
Which is something we all could use moreof.
And when you pair that with patience -like,
allowing pauses in a conversation - itgives people the room to express
(03:14):
themselves fully.
Yes!
Letting those silences breathe isunderrated,
isn't it?
It really is.
And,bringing it back to what you said earlier,
it all begins with just being present.
That one small choice-to give someoneyour undivided attention-can ripple
through every part of your relationship.
You know,
we were talking earlier about how beingtruly present can transform a
(03:35):
conversation.
But even the best listeners face barriers.
Distractions, for instance,might just be the biggest challenge.
Think about how often the buzz of a phoneor the pull of a to-do list
steals your focus when someone's talking.
It's so easy to be physically present butmentally somewhere else.
Yes,
distractions can totally hijack aconversation.
(03:57):
And they're everywhere nowadays,
aren't they?
But I think emotional triggers might bean even bigger challenge.
It's those moments where someone sayssomething that hits a nerve,
and suddenly, you're not really listeninganymore-you're just reacting.
Totally.
Emotional reactions can blur our abilityto hear what's actually being
(04:17):
said.
It's that automatic response, right?
Like when you interpret a comment ascriticism and feel the need to defend
yourself instead of understanding theintention behind their words.
Honestly, I've been guilty of that moretimes than I can count.
Oh,
haven't we all?
I'll admit, Caleb, there have beenmoments where I've caught myself crafting
(04:38):
a rebuttal mid-conversation, completelymissing the point of what someone
was trying to share.
It's almost reflexive, like we're wiredto prioritize being heard over
understanding the other person.
And then there's bias-those preconceived
notions we bring into conversations.
It's subtle, but when you think youalready know where someone's going
(05:00):
or what they're really trying to say,
you kind of tune out the details.
You filter everything they're sayingthrough this lens of judgment.
Exactly,
and that can lead to so manymisunderstandings.
I mean, it's like the story I came acrossthe other day about a woman
trying to explain why she was feelingoverwhelmed at work.
But her manager dismissed her concerns,
(05:22):
assuming she just needed time managementtips.
No empathy, no curiosity-just solutions.
And that's where nonverbal communication
plays such a big role too.
Sometimes, the way someone is fidgetingor their tone of voice tells
you more than their words ever could.
Picking up on those cues requires yourfull attention.
(05:42):
There's no way around it.
Absolutely.
It's incredible how much we say withouteven realizing it,
through body language, eye contact...
or the lack of it.
A nod, or even just leaning in slightly,
can show you're engaged.
And if you're not paying attention,
you miss all of those subtle but cruciallayers of meaning.
That reminds
(06:06):
me of a time I was leading a teambrainstorming session.
We had this one member who was reallyquiet,
crossing her arms and leaning back whileeveryone else was throwing out
ideas.
Now, her words said she agreed with thedirection,
but everything else screamed discomfort.
So during a break,
I pulled her aside,gave her space to talk,
and just listened without jumping in.
Turns out, she had reservations about theidea but didn't feel confident
(06:30):
enough to share them in the group.
And honestly, it changed the outcome ofthat project-her perspective
added so much clarity that we shifteddirection entirely.
Wow,
Caleb.
That's such a brilliant example of howbeing attuned to what someone
isn't saying can unlock so much insight.
It's like we need to learn to listen withall our senses,
(06:50):
not just our ears.
Yeah, and overcoming these barriers-be itdistractions,
emotional triggers,or biases-takes more than just awareness.
It's about being intentional.
You have to recognize when your mind isdrifting or when a reaction is
getting the better of you and consciouslybring yourself back to the moment.
And
give yourself grace when it happens.
(07:11):
No one's perfect at this.
The goal isn't to get it right every timebut to improve with every conversation,
to keep learning how to truly hear eachother.
Building on that idea of
intentionality, let's dive into practicalsteps to become better listeners.
These aren't just abstract concepts;they're skills anyone can practice.
First up, and maybe the most important -be fully present.
(07:36):
Put away distractions,look them in the eye,
and show them they've got your attention.
It sets the foundation for everythingelse.
And you know,
Caleb, being present is such a gift,
isn't it?
It says "I'm here for you"-without evenneeding to say the words.
But I think reflecting emotions is justas essential.
(07:56):
When you show someone you understand howthey're feeling,
you're not just listening to their words,
you're acknowledging their experience.
Exactly.
Like saying, "It sounds like you'rereally frustrated with how the project
turned out." That simple acknowledgmentcan diffuse tension because it
lets the other person feel seen.
And let's not forget asking open-endedquestions-those are gold.
(08:19):
Instead of "Are you okay?" try,
"What's been on your mind lately?"Oh,
absolutely.
Open-ended questions invite aconversation,
don't they?
And they encourage the other person toshare more,
to explore their thoughts.
Plus, practicing patience-especially inthose moments where there's silence-can
(08:40):
make a huge difference.
Caleb, do you remember the story wereceived from our listener,
Sarah?
I do.
Sarah wrote to us about how she and herhusband transformed their relationship
just by practicing active listening.
She said there was this moment where heshared something deeply personal
about his childhood that he'd neveropened up about before.
(09:00):
And instead of jumping in with her ownthoughts or questions,
she just...
let him talk.
Let him have that space.
And that space allowed them to connect ona whole
new level.
I love that story because it highlightshow trust grows when we step
back and listen without filling in thegaps with our own assumptions or
advice.
It's a perfect example of how thesetools-being present,
(09:23):
reflecting, asking thoughtful questions,
and being patient-can work together.
And it's not just for marriages,
either.
These strategies are universal.
In the workplace, a manager could say,
"I've noticed you've been quieter inmeetings lately.
How are you feeling about the team'sdirection?" That opens the door
(09:43):
for real communication.
Or with a friend who's struggling,
instead of offering solutions like,
"You should try this," you could simplysay,
"That sounds tough.
What's been weighing on you the most?"Those small shifts can make a
world of difference.
And it circles back to empathy,
doesn't it?
At the heart of active listening is thischoice to prioritize understanding
(10:07):
over responding.
When we focus on truly hearing someone,
it strengthens relationships,deepens conversations,
and creates that sense of connection weall crave.
Yes,
and it's something we can all work on.
Every single day.
So, to our listeners-when you're in yournext conversation,
try to be present.
(10:28):
Reflect what you hear.
Ask questions that matter.
And let those silences breathe.
You'll be amazed at the impact.
And that's all for today,
everyone.
Thanks for taking the time to tune in,
and remember-listening isn't just a skill.
It's a way to show love.
Take care, and we'll see you next time.
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