May 5, 2025 • 9 mins
Caleb and Elena discuss the emotional importance of nonverbal cues like gestures, touch, and facial expressions in relationships. From neuroscience insights to cultural awareness, they share strategies to strengthen communication both in-person and digitally. Discover how to navigate virtual spaces and minimize misunderstandings with effective nonverbal techniques.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
When we think about how we communicate inrelationships,
(00:02):
it's easy to focus on words-what we say,
how we say it.
But honestly, our actions,the smaller silent ones,
often speak louder and can hold moreweight than anything spoken.
Yes,
it's fascinating, isn't it?
I mean, think about a warm smile,
or, just holding someone's hand in atough moment-that silent reassurance
can be so much more powerful than,
(00:23):
well, the perfect words.
Exactly.
There's this couple I coached who come tomind.
They were constantly at odds, you know,
arguing about sometimes the smallestthings.
They'd focus so much on what each otherwas saying-or not saying-that
they missed these silent cues they weregiving off.
Like, the way they crossed their arms oravoided eye contact when things
(00:44):
got heated.
It's such a common blind spot,
isn't it?
What happened with them?
We worked on being mindful about theirgestures.
It started small.
During an argument, I suggested they trysoftening their expressions
a bit-look at each other directly,
maybe even try a little smile when theyapologized.
At first, they laughed at the idea,
but eventually those little actions-thosesincere smiles-made a big difference.
(01:09):
And then, adding things like a simple,
gentle touch when one of them was upset.
It was like their whole emotional dynamicshifted.
The tension just kind of...
melted away.
That's beautiful.
And isn't it interesting how those tinygestures-a smile,
a touch-can feel so instinctive yet makesuch a profound impact?
Absolutely.
(01:32):
And there's actually science behind that.
Our brains are wired to respond tononverbal signals.
For instance,mirror neurons-they play a huge role here.
These little brain cells basically helpus empathize by mirroring the
emotions we see in others.
Oh,so it's like when you see someone smiling,
you sort of automatically feel a bitlighter or happier yourself?
Exactly!
(01:56):
Smiling, maintaining soft eyecontact-those actions not only convey
warmth
but actually trigger a similar emotionalresponse in the person observing
it.
It's one of the ways we connect with eachother on a deeper,
almost instinctive level.
It's incredible,
isn't it?
It means these silent signals,
they're not just gestures-they'reemotional bridges.
(02:19):
They help us feel seen, understood,
even loved, in a way that words sometimescan't fully express.
Exactly.
And when we're aware of how much thesesilent cues matter,
it opens up new ways to connect,
even during difficult times.
And the beauty is, anyone can learn to bemore intentional with them.
And
that's precisely why these nonverbalgestures are so important,
(02:41):
Elena.
It's not just about the big,obvious actions like a hug or a smile-it's
the smaller, intentional gestures too.
A soft nod of understanding, or even justsitting close to someone during
a tough conversation-those little actscan quietly strengthen those emotional
bridges we talked about earlier.
Oh,
absolutely.
It's amazing how those subtle actions canspeak volumes.
(03:03):
Actually, that reminds me of a moment Ihad a while back.
I'd just gotten through a really toughconversation-one of those talks
where everything feels...
fragile.
Yeah, I think we've all been there.
What happened?
Well, afterwards,
I was feeling so raw, you know?
And the person I was speaking with didn'ttry to say much-they just pulled
(03:25):
me into this long, warm embrace.
No words, no explanations.
Just that one action.
And, honestly,it said everything I needed to hear.
I remember thinking, "This is whatunderstanding feels like."It's so
powerful, isn't it?
I mean, that one gesture probably cutthrough all the noise,
all the emotions that words might havestruggled to untangle.
Exactly.
(03:47):
And I think that's what makes nonverbalcommunication so vital-it fills
the gaps where words fall short.
But, of course, it's not always universal,
is it?
I mean, what feels natural in one culturemight feel completely out of
place in another.
That's such an important point.
Like, take eye contact, for example.
In some cultures, it's seen as a sign ofrespect-attentiveness.
(04:11):
But in others,it can feel confrontational,
even disrespectful.
Yes!
And I think about how even something assimple as physical touch-something
very comforting to some-can feelintrusive or overwhelming to others.
Have you ever worked with couples wherethat kind of cultural difference
caused misunderstandings?
Oh, definitely.
(04:32):
There was this one couple, forinstance-one partner was from a
Mediterranean
background,the other from a Nordic culture.
Such a classic combination of touch andspace.
One would naturally go for a reassuringpat on the back or a quick embrace,
while the other would lean away,
valuing, well, a bit of distance.
And let me guess-they both feltmisunderstood?
Exactly.
(04:54):
But, by helping them explore each other'sperspectives-really dive into
how their gestures reflected care andrespect-they found ways to adapt.
Over time, they developed,I guess you could call it,
a shared "nonverbal language."I love that.
Because, when you think about it,
isn't nonverbal communication all aboutcustomization?
(05:15):
Like tailoring those actions and gesturesso they resonate with the person
in front of you.
Exactly.
It's about being present, being observant,
and then responding in a way that feelsauthentic to both people involved.
You
know, Elena, as we've been exploring hownonverbal communication builds
those emotional connections, it makes mewonder-what happens when so much
(05:35):
of our interaction shifts to digitalspaces?
How do those gestures translate-or evenevolve-when face-to-face moments
aren't an option?
Oh, completely.
I mean,look at how emojis and GIFs have become,
well, almost like the "body language" oftext conversations.
You send that one little heart emoji,
(05:56):
or a silly dancing GIF, and in a way,
it says what words can't.
It's true.
And then you've got video calls,
where suddenly your smile, your posture,
even the tone of your voice becomescrucial for getting your message
across.
It's like, in some ways, digitalcommunication forces us to be even more
(06:16):
intentional.
Right.
And, you know, even with something like aquick voice message,
the tone really matters, doesn't it?
You can say the exact same phrase,
but depending on whether you sound warmand excited or rushed and monotone,
the meaning completely changes.
Exactly.
And that intentionality-being aware ofhow tone,
(06:38):
body language, and even silence comeacross online-is so important for
reducing misunderstandings.
Because, let's face it, sometimes contextgets lost in translation.
Oh,
for sure.
I mean, have you ever had one of thosemoments where you read a text
and thought, "Wait, is this personannoyed with me?" And it turns out,
they just didn't use an emoji or anexclamation point?
All the time.
(07:01):
And it just shows how much we've come torely on those little digital
cues to read emotion.
But, when we're missing thoseface-to-face gestures,
being clear and intentional becomes,
like, the non-negotiable rule.
So,
do you think there's a way to make thosevirtual interactions more...
personal?
More connected?
Definitely.
For one, aligning your tone and facialexpressions when you're on video
(07:24):
calls is a big one.
If your tone says you're happy,
but your face looks blank,it sends mixed signals.
Also, things like maintaining eye contactwith the camera-small effort,
big impact.
And I suppose being mindful of pausesmatters too,
right?
Like, giving people time to respond,
especially in those laggy moments on avideo call.
(07:45):
It's kind of like creating the digitalequivalent of what we were saying
earlier-leaving space in theconversation.
Exactly.
It's all about creating that emotionalresonance,
even through a screen.
And on top of that, staying aware of thelittle things-like your posture
or the way you nod during a videocall-can all help make the interaction
feel more genuine.
It's almost like we need to think ofdigital communication
(08:09):
as its own "nonverbal language," isn't it?
One where the tools might be different,
but the principles are still the same-beintentional,
and always listen with your fullattention.
That's it exactly.
Whether it's a reassuring touch in personor an encouraging emoji in
a text, it all comes down to the samething-showing that you're present,
(08:31):
that you care.
And isn't that kind of beautiful?
It means that whether we're sittingacross from someone or connected
through a screen, we still have all theseways to bridge the distance
and make each other feel seen.
It really is.
And I think the takeaway here is thatnonverbal communication isn't just
a nice extra-it's at the heart of how weconnect,
(08:52):
both in person and online.
So, as we navigate this digital world,
let's be mindful of the silent signalswe're sending.
Absolutely.
And on that note, Caleb, this has beensuch a thoughtful conversation.
I hope our listeners walk away inspiredto explore their own silent signals,
whether they're tapping on a screen orholding someone's hand.
Me too.
(09:13):
And to all of you listening, thanks forspending your time with us today.
Stay kind, stay connected-and we'll seeyou next time.
When we think about how we communicate inrelationships,
(00:02):
it's easy to focus on words-what we say,
how we say it.
But honestly, our actions,the smaller silent ones,
often speak louder and can hold moreweight than anything spoken.
Yes,
it's fascinating, isn't it?
I mean, think about a warm smile,
or, just holding someone's hand in atough moment-that silent reassurance
can be so much more powerful than,
(00:23):
well, the perfect words.
Exactly.
There's this couple I coached who come tomind.
They were constantly at odds, you know,
arguing about sometimes the smallestthings.
They'd focus so much on what each otherwas saying-or not saying-that
they missed these silent cues they weregiving off.
Like, the way they crossed their arms oravoided eye contact when things
(00:44):
got heated.
It's such a common blind spot,
isn't it?
What happened with them?
We worked on being mindful about theirgestures.
It started small.
During an argument, I suggested they trysoftening their expressions
a bit-look at each other directly,
maybe even try a little smile when theyapologized.
At first, they laughed at the idea,
but eventually those little actions-thosesincere smiles-made a big difference.
(01:09):
And then, adding things like a simple,
gentle touch when one of them was upset.
It was like their whole emotional dynamicshifted.
The tension just kind of...
melted away.
That's beautiful.
And isn't it interesting how those tinygestures-a smile,
a touch-can feel so instinctive yet makesuch a profound impact?
Absolutely.
(01:32):
And there's actually science behind that.
Our brains are wired to respond tononverbal signals.
For instance,mirror neurons-they play a huge role here.
These little brain cells basically helpus empathize by mirroring the
emotions we see in others.
Oh,so it's like when you see someone smiling,
you sort of automatically feel a bitlighter or happier yourself?
Exactly!
(01:56):
Smiling, maintaining soft eyecontact-those actions not only convey
warmth
but actually trigger a similar emotionalresponse in the person observing
it.
It's one of the ways we connect with eachother on a deeper,
almost instinctive level.
It's incredible,
isn't it?
It means these silent signals,
they're not just gestures-they'reemotional bridges.
(02:19):
They help us feel seen, understood,
even loved, in a way that words sometimescan't fully express.
Exactly.
And when we're aware of how much thesesilent cues matter,
it opens up new ways to connect,
even during difficult times.
And the beauty is, anyone can learn to bemore intentional with them.
And
that's precisely why these nonverbalgestures are so important,
(02:41):
Elena.
It's not just about the big,obvious actions like a hug or a smile-it's
the smaller, intentional gestures too.
A soft nod of understanding, or even justsitting close to someone during
a tough conversation-those little actscan quietly strengthen those emotional
bridges we talked about earlier.
Oh,
absolutely.
It's amazing how those subtle actions canspeak volumes.
(03:03):
Actually, that reminds me of a moment Ihad a while back.
I'd just gotten through a really toughconversation-one of those talks
where everything feels...
fragile.
Yeah, I think we've all been there.
What happened?
Well, afterwards,
I was feeling so raw, you know?
And the person I was speaking with didn'ttry to say much-they just pulled
(03:25):
me into this long, warm embrace.
No words, no explanations.
Just that one action.
And, honestly,it said everything I needed to hear.
I remember thinking, "This is whatunderstanding feels like."It's so
powerful, isn't it?
I mean, that one gesture probably cutthrough all the noise,
all the emotions that words might havestruggled to untangle.
Exactly.
(03:47):
And I think that's what makes nonverbalcommunication so vital-it fills
the gaps where words fall short.
But, of course, it's not always universal,
is it?
I mean, what feels natural in one culturemight feel completely out of
place in another.
That's such an important point.
Like, take eye contact, for example.
In some cultures, it's seen as a sign ofrespect-attentiveness.
(04:11):
But in others,it can feel confrontational,
even disrespectful.
Yes!
And I think about how even something assimple as physical touch-something
very comforting to some-can feelintrusive or overwhelming to others.
Have you ever worked with couples wherethat kind of cultural difference
caused misunderstandings?
Oh, definitely.
(04:32):
There was this one couple, forinstance-one partner was from a
Mediterranean
background,the other from a Nordic culture.
Such a classic combination of touch andspace.
One would naturally go for a reassuringpat on the back or a quick embrace,
while the other would lean away,
valuing, well, a bit of distance.
And let me guess-they both feltmisunderstood?
Exactly.
(04:54):
But, by helping them explore each other'sperspectives-really dive into
how their gestures reflected care andrespect-they found ways to adapt.
Over time, they developed,I guess you could call it,
a shared "nonverbal language."I love that.
Because, when you think about it,
isn't nonverbal communication all aboutcustomization?
(05:15):
Like tailoring those actions and gesturesso they resonate with the person
in front of you.
Exactly.
It's about being present, being observant,
and then responding in a way that feelsauthentic to both people involved.
You
know, Elena, as we've been exploring hownonverbal communication builds
those emotional connections, it makes mewonder-what happens when so much
(05:35):
of our interaction shifts to digitalspaces?
How do those gestures translate-or evenevolve-when face-to-face moments
aren't an option?
Oh, completely.
I mean,look at how emojis and GIFs have become,
well, almost like the "body language" oftext conversations.
You send that one little heart emoji,
(05:56):
or a silly dancing GIF, and in a way,
it says what words can't.
It's true.
And then you've got video calls,
where suddenly your smile, your posture,
even the tone of your voice becomescrucial for getting your message
across.
It's like, in some ways, digitalcommunication forces us to be even more
(06:16):
intentional.
Right.
And, you know, even with something like aquick voice message,
the tone really matters, doesn't it?
You can say the exact same phrase,
but depending on whether you sound warmand excited or rushed and monotone,
the meaning completely changes.
Exactly.
And that intentionality-being aware ofhow tone,
(06:38):
body language, and even silence comeacross online-is so important for
reducing misunderstandings.
Because, let's face it, sometimes contextgets lost in translation.
Oh,
for sure.
I mean, have you ever had one of thosemoments where you read a text
and thought, "Wait, is this personannoyed with me?" And it turns out,
they just didn't use an emoji or anexclamation point?
All the time.
(07:01):
And it just shows how much we've come torely on those little digital
cues to read emotion.
But, when we're missing thoseface-to-face gestures,
being clear and intentional becomes,
like, the non-negotiable rule.
So,
do you think there's a way to make thosevirtual interactions more...
personal?
More connected?
Definitely.
For one, aligning your tone and facialexpressions when you're on video
(07:24):
calls is a big one.
If your tone says you're happy,
but your face looks blank,it sends mixed signals.
Also, things like maintaining eye contactwith the camera-small effort,
big impact.
And I suppose being mindful of pausesmatters too,
right?
Like, giving people time to respond,
especially in those laggy moments on avideo call.
(07:45):
It's kind of like creating the digitalequivalent of what we were saying
earlier-leaving space in theconversation.
Exactly.
It's all about creating that emotionalresonance,
even through a screen.
And on top of that, staying aware of thelittle things-like your posture
or the way you nod during a videocall-can all help make the interaction
feel more genuine.
It's almost like we need to think ofdigital communication
(08:09):
as its own "nonverbal language," isn't it?
One where the tools might be different,
but the principles are still the same-beintentional,
and always listen with your fullattention.
That's it exactly.
Whether it's a reassuring touch in personor an encouraging emoji in
a text, it all comes down to the samething-showing that you're present,
(08:31):
that you care.
And isn't that kind of beautiful?
It means that whether we're sittingacross from someone or connected
through a screen, we still have all theseways to bridge the distance
and make each other feel seen.
It really is.
And I think the takeaway here is thatnonverbal communication isn't just
a nice extra-it's at the heart of how weconnect,
(08:52):
both in person and online.
So, as we navigate this digital world,
let's be mindful of the silent signalswe're sending.
Absolutely.
And on that note, Caleb, this has beensuch a thoughtful conversation.
I hope our listeners walk away inspiredto explore their own silent signals,
whether they're tapping on a screen orholding someone's hand.
Me too.
(09:13):
And to all of you listening, thanks forspending your time with us today.
Stay kind, stay connected-and we'll seeyou next time.
Popular Podcasts
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.