Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
Welcome to Closer to Christ. This is Abby and Amy. And this is Jeff. So as you notice,
(00:17):
we've brought a new voice onto the episode today. This is going to be what we're considering
like a special New Year's offering for you. And Jeff comes with a huge skill set and there's
something specific that we've invited him to come and share as a kickoff to the New
Year. We think that it coordinates really well with our intention for the podcast to
(00:40):
learn from the past, to see what it has offered us and to help it propel us to what we can
do with our future selves. Any other comment on the material we're bringing out today?
Well, we incorporate the atonement of Jesus Christ into our lives, because also as we
look to the past, we can also realize that that doesn't have to be the end of our story.
(01:01):
As we incorporate Him and bring Him in, He can redeem anything and He can help us moving
forward. He can help us look at the past with the mindset that it was all for experience
and learning. But if we weren't happy with it, we can do better. And if we loved it,
we can do more of it. Love it. Maybe a quote from Elder Holland would be appropriate right
here. He said, the past is to be learned from not lived in. Faith is always pointed towards
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the future. So, this podcast today is in an effort to help us all become more faith-filled
and more optimistic in Jesus Christ, seeing what we can learn from what we did just recently,
2024. It's behind us, but it doesn't have to be gone forever. If there's something positive
we can bring forward. So, I think it might be helpful, Jeff, if you could, like, I don't
(01:47):
know that we need credentials necessarily, but can you give us a little background? What
makes you the guy to be on the podcast today to share this with us?
Yeah, you bet. First of all, it's great to be here because I listen to your podcast every
week and it's awesome. And secondly, I really do. It's awesome. And sometimes you evoke
tears in me and it's great and I love it. It's great. What I get to do every day, besides
(02:08):
being a husband of 25 years and four awesome kids, now five because my son got married,
but I get to coach CEOs around the world. And after having built or been a part of other
businesses from software to healthcare to others, I saw how businesses operate. I love
that aspect of life, but I love the leadership behind it. And all of the leadership that
(02:31):
I ever studied was all based on how Christ led. So, after building a couple of businesses,
I set off on my own with my wife to start our own business about almost seven years
ago now. Crazy. And what we get to do exclusively is help CEOs confidently grow their business
without losing their priorities or their soul. Because building a business can be so hard
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and it breaks out families. And the Lord was very clear with me and with my wife, too many
businesses are succeeding at the expense of families and I'm not okay with that. Go fix
that or go change that. So, that's what I get to do. And so, I help them behind the
scenes. I help them through inspired questions and through other aspects to just help them
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grow their business and themselves in a way that is true to who they are and who they
are meant to become versus getting distracted by all the things of life. And so, I use what
we'll talk about today, this framework, every year with my clients and others to help them
grow, help them learn and help them get on a path that enables them to become the better
(03:36):
version of themselves every year.
Without sacrificing things that were previously important to them.
Correct. Go ahead.
You may help them uncover what is important to them. Maybe in a business setting, no one's
asked the questions about a relationship because in general, those two are not combined.
Yeah. One of my clients one time from the UK, he said, you know, you should market yourself
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differently. And I said, why? And he said, well, I get from you so much more than what
you said you'd give. And I said, what do you mean? He said, well, I knew I'd be a better
CEO and I grow my business, but I had no idea I'd be a better husband. I'd be a better father.
I'd be more grounded. I'd be more patient that I would just enjoy life more and that
I would feel true success. And I said, so let me tell you, if I marketed to you, oh,
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you'll be a better husband and father. Would you have bought? And he goes, no. Yeah, no.
I wasn't in the market for that.
So he taught me this line that you market and sell what people want and you deliver
what they need. And that's what I do.
So this is going to air today right after we record it as a New Year's gift. And then
tomorrow's Thursday, we upload a podcast. It happens to be on spiritual gifts. Can you
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tell me, is there something in your patriarchal blessing you're comfortable highlighting that
makes you perfect for? Do you feel like you were led? I do. I'm just having this conversation
with you. First time I'm hearing this story and I'm feeling like Heavenly Father, because
Jeff was open to the idea, helped him to streamline into a career that he's changing lives with.
(05:04):
Totally.
Yes.
Tell me what you think about that.
Yeah. You know, the classic analogy where you can't connect dots forward, but you can
backward, right?
Oh, thank you for saying that because that's what we try to share on this. We say it different
ways and that might be for somebody like, exactly.
But you know, you can't do that forward looking, but backward, I look back and go, oh my gosh,
yeah, I did this and then this. And then when I did this and learned this, and then my,
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almost lost my wife and my son at childbirth. And then I was diagnosed with cancer and then
a whole bunch of things that happened in my life that I look back and go, oh yeah, I was
perfectly tailored for this.
So to answer your question more specifically, the two spiritual gifts that I pray for and
exercise in every coaching session, and I kid you not, every coaching session beforehand,
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I pray for the gift of discernment and the gift of charity. Those two. And the reason
why those are critical in coaching, in my opinion, is the gift of charity creates an
environment of zero judgment, of zero guilt, zero shame, just total openness for people
to bear their heart and soul. And CEOs do not have spaces that are safe to do that.
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They just don't. They have to be strong. They have to be the stalwart leader. And so with
me, we create an environment that they can just vent, they can process, they can weep,
which they do a lot, because they can't really do that with anyone else. So that charity
is critical. And then discernment is critical because the Lord has helped me and continues
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to help me foster the gift of listen for what is not being said and how they say it, their
energy. You know, if you listen to people, I'm not saying that I needed credit for that
or anything. In other words, I needed credit for that. I'm not saying that I was frustrated
by that.
I'm not saying that I'm sane.
Right. And people out themselves all the time. That's a pretty overt one, but some that are
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a little harder to discover is when they'll say something like, you know, I hired this
executive team member and you know, they're doing good, they're doing okay, and that's
okay. And then I'll stop and say, are they though? Well, not really. Okay, and then we'll
go through. But discernment is the gift that I exercise on the daily to help uncover what's
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really going on and help them see themselves.
So also in that discernment process, true or not true, you have to, you're more so discerning,
are they open to change something about themselves? Because you can identify something that could
be changing, could really impact their business, but at some point they have to decide for
themselves. They're ready to run with it.
Yeah. Agency.
Yeah. And maybe you have to start with a much smaller baby step than you initially plan
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to like head into. Okay, I have to say that I was tidying up like loose ends on the Book
of Mormon. Like I missed like a couple of chapters, you know, back in, I don't know,
another, and then I wanted to re-emphasize the Moroni chapters. And so I went into Moroni
chapter 10, and let me just read the top of the heading. The gifts of the Spirit are dispensed
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to the faithful. Spiritual gifts always accompany faith. And listening to that chapter, like
as a closing to last year, and then you just re-emphasizing there are gifts that you thank
Him for and gifts that you pray to have. What a beautiful, like, what a beautiful thing
to remind people of that it's not selfish you're asking for those gifts, because then
you're taking that in your business and blessing, like you said, CEOs around the world.
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For sure.
You bring His light into their lives, even though they maybe don't realize that that's
what you're doing, it's happening.
Also, when we pray for a gift, it is telling Heavenly Father that we understand and we
put a name to a specific attribute or quality of Christ that we need in this specific situation.
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So really what we're telling Him is, we value and honor your Son, Jesus Christ, and this
is the part that I need right now. Like, this is where I need it. And for sure, what loving
parent is not going to bless them with that.
Right. Especially when your motive is in a pure place, in a way we're alluding to, Abby.
That's critical. Otherwise, if it's for our own gain or our own credit and glory, we can
(09:10):
ask for it, but if it's to puff up our pride, that's not really helpful. But if it's for
the blessing of other people, His children, He'll give it to us.
Because at that point, it's not a gift from God, it's amen to that gift, and it's all
about you.
Right.
Which, you just poured water on that whole thing.
Not helpful.
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Moroni 10, verse 8, and again, I exhort you, my brethren, that ye deny not the gifts of
God. There are many. They come from the same God. And there are different ways these gifts
are administered, but it's the same God who worketh in all, and they are given by the
manifestations of the Spirit unto men to profit them. For behold, to one is given the
Spirit of God, that he may teach the word of wisdom. Again, if you were really wise
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and you had the ability to teach, what's the benefit if you don't have somebody to teach
to?
Right.
It's a gift that's never meant to be selfishly used. It is always to be projected on the
outward, and that's really when the gift magnifies itself. So, teach us. You are here today.
Bestow your knowledge.
One thing that I love to do with clients at this time of year is take them through a framework
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that is called how to create your best year yet. Notice the wording of that. Create is
important. I believe we're creative spiritual beings, and we are meant to create in every
aspect. And best year yet, not best year ever. I love Elder Holland's talk, a quote around
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it, it's all about the future, creating greatness and learning from the past and enabling that
to help us be better so that every year is your best year yet. And it actually comes
from a book from Ginny Ditzler, Your Best Year Yet, it's what it's called, and she
goes through a series of ten questions that are just powerful. But I added a few steps
preemptively to the questions to prepare. And I think the preparation steps are critical
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because you incorporate and partner with the Lord and with the Holy Ghost through the process
to then enable these questions to be magnified, which is another spiritual principle. So,
the first step is you start the process with prayer. Surprise, surprise. Not anything surprising
to most that are listening, but it's an intentional prayer to align our will to His will, specifically
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in the coming year, and to ask specific questions about next year, what does He want for me,
what does He see for me, because He sees who I'm going to become way better than I do.
And so, when I ask Him that question, then ponder and write, I start to intentionally
align my will to His to make sure that everything that I'm doing starts on the foundation of
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His will so that I center it around Him and Christ. So, that's step one.
I'm going to pause you. If you are listening to this and you think you want to see this,
you're a visual learner, and this does actually require like a little bit of paper to pencil
type of work. Jeff has a four-page document and not a website to share, but he's willing
to allow us to put his email in the show notes. And then when you email him from the show
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notes, he'll shoot this over to you. So, you'll be able to physically see this. If you think
that would be helpful to see it while he's talking right in this moment, put us on pause,
go to the link, get it printed, and then you'll have this in your hands because it makes all
the difference for me. Certainly, you can go back to it, but there's nothing wrong with
putting us on pause, and then we'll go to the next step.
We'll be here when you get back.
(12:32):
Right, because I'm with you. Visual learning for me is everything. If I'm just listening,
it's hard for me to...
Where's he going with this?
Yeah, totally, totally. So, that's step one. And, you know, with some of my clients who
where prayer isn't their jam, where they don't necessarily...
Like you have a lot of European clients. It's just not their thing.
Right, right. It's just different. But they have, they're deeply spiritual people.
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In the business world.
Right.
Not saying that to our European listeners.
Right, right. Yeah, and many in the business world just, yeah, it's different. And it's
not wrong. It's just different. And so, what I do is meet them where they're at and take
them where they want to go. And often, I'll just anchor them to their purpose. What are
they meant to do? What are they meant to create? Why are they here in the world? And make sure
they tap into that for next year. And the purpose and the, really, the depth of that
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is humility. Recognizing that we're here to bless other people's lives. We're not here
to look great or to make a ton of money. And the money can be great, but in the benefit
of whom is what I like to anchor them on. So that's step one. Start with prayer or purpose.
Step two, and this isn't part of the book either, but I think it's critical because
again, there's another spiritual component to this. I call it purging the past. And what
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you do is ask yourself a series of questions to make sure that you are in a place of true
learning and growth where in essence, it's kind of like an Alma 32 where you're preparing
the soil and that you don't put anything on barren ground. Alma 32, I had it ready, it's
39. Bering ground is mixed with disbelief. It's mixed with being apathetic or lazy, not
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really being intentional. It's also mixed with not having real intent. And so you've
got to clear some things to make sure that you are in a place to create the future. Otherwise,
if you create and go skip to step three and go through, okay, here's what I want to create
for the year, you're piling it on a foundation that isn't really prepared.
Can't take root.
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Correct. It can't take root.
Question, do you ever get contacted in your business world to do some work with the CEO
and you discern that we're dealing with barren ground and you politely refuse your services
to them?
We're not a good fit for each other.
Yes. Yeah. I have a whole process that I take them through before they become clients to
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make sure we both make sure it's a good fit.
The wills are aligned.
There's lots of coaches out there and I don't have to be the coach for everybody, nor do
I want to be. And so yes, I definitely look for that. And really what I'm looking for
is humility.
Okay. So if you have a listener that's like, I'm not ready for this or like, I don't want
to tap into that. I don't want to project. I don't want to look towards 2025. I'm just
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going to like do it a day at a time and get there when I get there.
What advice can we give them?
More power to you. The thing that I tell people through this is just because this is a framework
that has worked for many people doesn't mean it has to work for you and that you have to
follow every step. My wife, for example, is amazing at creating and envisioning things.
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But when it comes to structure and rigidity and time-based goals, she's just like, she
feels claustrophobic. And so a process that's in depth like this actually squelches her
ability to create and she feels like it's all or nothing.
I'm married to that man.
Yeah.
I am too.
Not the same man, but it takes one person in the couple to be the rigid, fill out the
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form.
Yes.
Here's the problem that I found. The person that's rigid often is louder and more, this
is the way.
My husband's laughing over there.
Yeah, exactly. And is my wife. For years, we would do our business retreat at the end
of the year, at the beginning of the year, and it would end in tears. And I was like,
what am I doing wrong? And we finally realized, look, Jeff, the way it works for you doesn't
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work for me. But she didn't have words to that until she realized, oh, I have perfectionism
sometimes. It's all or nothing. If I am going to start something, it's all in. And I'm like,
why am I going to do this if I know I'm going to, after 32 days, stop anyway? What's the
point? And so we've realized, stop. Just with, that's why step one is so critical to say,
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what does the Lord want for me? And how do I tailor this to my personality versus trying
to fit in some box that some loud person like Jeff is saying, this is what you should do?
No, it doesn't have to be that way. And so if there are people listening going, all of
this is overwhelming, good, that's totally fine. Then what I would invite you to do is
find out the parts that aren't overwhelming. Start with that. And if it's just one of these
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steps, cool.
Danielle Pletka Yep. And then also like this exists in time
like forever. We always think it's exciting to think when we do the podcast, that maybe
our children might tap back into it at some point. I always tell people, you're not putting
this information in the trash can, put it on that metaphorical bookshelf in your mind
and that you'll know that it's in the back there. Maybe something happens this year that
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changes your ability to pick up something new and different. You'd be like, oh, there
was that process that I can go through on looking at the past and looking forward to
the future. And I'm in a mindset that that works for me now. And then to be able to find
this because it will be January 1st, 2025, you'll be able to find it.
Danielle Pletka Yeah. Especially if you started with prayer,
you literally invited the Lord into the process with you and the Holy Ghost, like Jeff said.
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And so maybe you even just read just the beginning of it and there'll be like a little, oh yeah,
that one part totally works for me right now.
Jeffery Timmins Right.
Danielle Pletka And feel satisfied that that's all that
you were meant to or needed to accomplish in that time. I will say this podcast might
hit a chord for some people just listening through the process and saying, I don't really
need the physical paper to work through this. I'll just kind of reflect on the year like
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you're going to walk us through. And then the people that are like, I've got to have
my hands on something. Like I said, that's going to be available. And then I'm pretty
sure Amy has filling the impression to do a guided visualization on this.
Danielle Pletka You're pretty sure. For the more of the creative-minded
or like people that are on the go. Like it feels like, it feels like something that could
be in your skillset.
Jeffery Timmins Yeah. That's a good idea.
(18:36):
Danielle Pletka Thank you for using that spiritual gift. Just
being impressed to use that spiritual gift to bless anybody.
Amy Quinton Remember your spiritual gift is to invite.
Danielle Pletka Yes, totally.
Amy Quinton Mine is usually to think on it and ask the
spirit if that's true.
Danielle Pletka I just inventory-ed you. That's the gift.
Jeffery Timmins That's great.
So yeah, so on step two, think of this analogy. You have a closet that over the years you
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just pile clothes on or things and it gets just...
Amy Quinton He's been to my house?
Jeffery Timmins It gets unruly.
Amy Quinton You tell him about me.
Jeffery Timmins Or a garage or a workshop.
Amy Quinton All of the above.
Jeffery Timmins And over time, you don't have any place to
put things, right? And it just, sometimes you start to avoid it because it's just like,
or you shut the door real fast so it doesn't fall out, right? You can't create new things
when there isn't space for the creation.
(19:19):
Amy Quinton Amen.
Jeffery Timmins So, when you metaphorically or literally clean
out the closet, that's what this step two is for. And here are the questions. What part
of yourself will you let go of in order to improve and grow to the next level, number
one? Number two, any habits you want to change or replace? Number three, any relationships
you want to improve? Number four, anyone you need to forgive? And number five, is there
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anything else that's holding you back? All of those questions are deep. And sometimes
we don't want to answer those questions. We're like, nah, you know, you kind of plug your
ears and move on. So you don't have to do that process. All I'm saying is I invite you
to do it because when you do, what you create will stick. It'll last. You'll be on fertile
ground. If you don't, you kind of add more to the piles in your closet, and it's not
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helpful. And it's why President Nelson and several years back when he shared his masterful
talk of the things you do to expect and create miracles, there were a few things beforehand.
And then at the end, it was about relationships that people need to forgive, right? And those
things harbor our hearts and our minds to receive the Spirit, going back to step one
of what the Lord wants from you. If you don't clear that out, you don't have eyes to seniors
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to hear.
So can I share one thing? Also, when Jeff was reading those different questions, again,
going back to when we invite the Lord and also the Holy Ghost to be with us, just the
way that he is a gentle corrector, I have had in my life when I'm reading those, first
I look at all of them, I'm like, that's too overwhelming. Then as I ask myself the questions,
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usually what happens for me is every single answer is the same thing. It's just one thing.
And he's just asking me to shift one thing, and then we go back to number one, I'm in
alignment with him and I can move forward. Whereas before it felt like a bunch of things,
it was really just one and it's not as big as I thought it was. My thought when I was
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listening to Jeff talk and then also hearing what you had to say was that some of those
questions, something immediately comes to mind. I could really easily jot that. For
me, I agreed. It felt like pretty deep. But then I thought if I kind of just, if I took
the things that immediately came to mind and I looked at it, then I could mentally, like
physically seeing it and knowing that I kind of pulled it out of the recesses of my mind,
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that I put it there in the forefront, that I'm like, okay, this is one that is doable
now, or hey, that one, I'm not ready to tackle that. But I'm like acknowledging that I realize
that it's there. I'll tackle that later. But it's like Christ-like characteristics.
Like when you're working on one, other ones follow. I'm feeling, and you've watched people
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through experience, maybe when they pick one that seems achievable, the other ones don't
seem so overwhelming.
Totally. Totally. Or there's, like you said, simultaneously working on all of the things
together, even though your focus can be on what you can tackle.
Yes.
Awesome.
Right. I just went through this two weeks ago with one of my clients. He leads a really
large company. I guess large is relative. It's over a billion dollars in revenue.
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That's large to me. That's the word I use.
It's a global business. They have lots of employees. We went through just these preparatory
questions and he goes, oh, crap. I go, what? He goes, you've been talking to me about this
particular relationship and that I need to actually do the work to heal it. It's time.
And I said, okay, if you're ready and willing, let's do it. And he said, okay. So we set
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a specific coaching session in two days to tackle that one relationship.
Amazing.
And through inspired questions, we'll go through some things because he knows that's the one
thing that's holding him back on certain areas. Okay. So when we purge that past and create
that place...
I better pause you though. We've mentioned a few times, sometimes when you recognize
that a relationship does need some healing or there needs to be some peacemaking in your
(23:10):
life, you don't get to dictate what the other person on the other side of that relationship
does. Just verbalizing, you know that there's discord there and acknowledging you're willing
to do something about it. Sometimes it's the only thing you do.
Do you find that with him?
100%.
It's like you're not going to watch the resolve of the relationship.
It's in two days.
He knows the question is how am I a part of the problem?
Exactly.
How am I contributing versus why they're the issue?
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Love it.
And for a while he's been pointing the finger literally and figuratively and now he's realizing,
let me point the finger right back to me.
What is within my control?
What can I change about me?
Love that.
Totally.
That's a strong, like just strongly emphasize that as you're looking back at the past year,
if you find that a lot of the things that you bring up were things that were done to
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you, then you're really giving your life to somebody else. You're not letting somebody
else dictate what your last year held. I don't love that.
Right. And as President Elson says, never ever give anybody your agency.
That power. Yeah, your agency.
It's yours. Do not, and we abdicate it subconsciously all the time, but it's like, no, this is mine
to choose. This is mine to create and I will go do it.
(24:13):
Okay. So once you get through those first two steps, you can see why they're critical.
Yes.
Because a lot of times what people do is they jump to step three, which is the book.
It's great, but I saw the book and I was like, it's great. And we got to do some prep stuff
because otherwise this can be a cool rah-rah thing that will fizzle in about 20 days.
Amen.
But if you do some of the spiritual work behind it, it has long lasting work. So then there's
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10 questions that you answer thoughtfully. You go through them. I'm just going to read
through them. I think it's helpful. So question number one, and there's a reason why this
is first. What were your biggest achievements in 2024 for this year, you know, or last year?
You start with the positive. You start with things that start to wake up your brain. And
when you focus on gratitude, on excitement, on joy, you literally unlock your prefrontal
(25:00):
lobes and your prefrontal lobes are very executive functioning. They're over that part of your
brain, which is all about creativity, problem solving. Whereas the amygdala and brainstem
are all about worry and stress. And often we're stuck there. So you hijack your brain
by saying, what am I, what happened? Go look back at your calendar. Yep. You'll go, Oh
(25:20):
my gosh, I can't believe this was this year. Yep. Write that down. That was so cool. Open
your photos, just scan backwards. Yes. Get the visual juices flowing. Then the next one,
it's my favorite question of all of them. What were my magic moments of 2024? The magic
moment is the moment where when you're there, you just go, all is right in the world. I
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can't believe this is my life. I can't believe my son just came and just hugged me for no
reason. I feel like I'm not failing. Woo hoo, great. Or this last year for Sherry's birthday,
she served in Barcelona on her mission and we were able to go back after 25 years. And
on her birthday, we were able to overlook the entire city of Barcelona in this amazing
(26:03):
restaurant that a friend of ours booked for us and just asked ourselves some life-changing
questions and we just went. Like this is my life. Yeah. I can't believe it. That was one
of the greatest magic moments of my life, let alone last year. So that when you start
with those two and you relive them, you're just, you are swimming in gratitude. You're
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swimming in reflection. You're all about, wow, this is awesome. So those are the first
two. Then what roles did you play? And this can get confusing for some. So roles for me
are son of God, brother of Jesus Christ, loving husband, loving father, a business owner,
an athlete, a friend, a brother, a son. And so those are roles, right? So everybody has
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different roles and you can just jot down what are the roles that I've played and some
of those roles you like and some you don't. It's okay. What are the roles? You list them.
Then you go to some of the stuff where our brain is naturally inclined to go. What were
my disappointments? List them. And some people like to skip this, but I think there's power
in just saying, man, what didn't go well? What were my plans that didn't go so great?
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And my first one is my father-in-law's passing. Man, was that a disappointment. That was not
at all what we were planning. He was, I mean, not that you ever planned that, but he was
super healthy, didn't have any issues and just in one day literally went to the grocery
store to get some stuff for his wife and collapsed at the cashier. Done, right? And talk about
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a disappointment. Really, really tough. But then the next question, what were your lessons
learned? And the lesson, the number one lesson I learned in 2024 was the plan of salvation
is a hundred percent real. It's not just something to make us feel good or have hope because
this is a really dark and dreary and depressing world. It's legit. It is tangible and the
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Lord knows it perfectly. And when Sherri and I got to experience it by losing her dad this
year to feel his spirit live on, to feel eternal progression become tangibly real for us, it
was the most remarkable experience to go, wow, I love this plan and I love the Lord.
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And I love that he is so merciful to have conquered death to where it doesn't have the
sting. It's still stung, but not an everlasting sting to where it's going to totally wreck
us. Right?
Danielle Pletka Amy and I are prepping our next conference
talks and I've got the one, mortality works. And that's just popping in my mind. I'm so
excited to share that because it's afterlife experiences and knowing like having nods from
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heaven that it was all worth it and all worked and they still get to be present in your life
is touching.
Right. It's awesome.
So that's great. But even like you were just mentioning, even some of the worst pieces
of 2024 because your frontal lobe is open and your mentality is just different.
Totally. Totally.
You can look at it as a sad moment, but that you've already learned something from it.
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And when we don't want to review disappointments slash failures, it's because of our two deepest
fears of humankind, our fear of failure and our fear of not being enough. And so sometimes
when we review what didn't go well, it pushes that emotional button and we just want to
go, la la la la, move away from that. And it's like, no, no, no. What do you learn from
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it? It's not failure. It's just a new thing to learn. Yeah. I'm going back to disappointments
and lesson learned.
I will say I briefly looked through it. I haven't done the exercise for myself just
because the idea of this podcast was cooked up like just a few moments ago. But I said,
do you have to really sit and reflect on the disappointments? And you guys both said, no,
you really do have to. And I'm glad we're having this conversation so that we can talk
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about how important it is to not avoid that part of the process.
And it's because we get to learn from them, not because the disappointments and failures
are defining who we are. No. And again, that exacerbates the insecurity that we have or
the fear that we have. Just let it be and go, okay, what did I learn from that? Why
did the Lord give that opportunity for me? And now what will I change and do because
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of that? They're the best learning lessons. Success is the worst teacher. Failure and
disappointment is the best. It's true.
That's why I've learned so much.
Okay, we'll go through the next six a little faster. What are the most important roles
that I'm going to play this coming year? And what are my top three goals for each?
And this is quick pause on that roles for the future. Do you feel like you do a little
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bit of looking at the roles you played in 2024 and you mentally scratch out the ones
you don't want to carry on in? Sure. Kind of purging that or ones that you've neglected
that you want to
re-up your game on. Okay. Yeah. And so it's just being very clear and intentional. Who
am I going to be in the world this year? And how am I going to show up in each of those
roles versus just doing what most humans do and just put it on autopilot? Because life
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is hard and what we do is just do our best to survive. And we're just kind of like, all
right, well, let's kind of see where things take me instead of intentionally creating
the future.
And every year there is something that could be added or subtracted as far as a role goes.
Like for you, you're a father-in-law now. That wasn't the year before. We're podcasters.
I mean, that's just one thing that we added, you know, little things like that.
Right. Right. It's awesome.
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You need to add that.
Yeah, I do. I totally do. Yeah. Totally do. So then the next step, question seven, what
are the top three goals for each role? And that can get overwhelming. That's where people
are like, I just chose one. Totally. And so what I recommend on that is if that works
for you, cool. If not, find the one. What I do, even for me on this, I'm like, ah, no,
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I don't really like that. And as you can see, I haven't even answered that one yet because
it gets overwhelming for my brain as well. So what I've learned is, yeah, what are the
things that would be nice? But then the next question I really like, what are my overall
goals for this year? And it might come from that. So I see that as a preparatory step
for question eight, which is what are my overall goal, overall top three to five goals for
2025? I recommend no more than three. Love it. There's something about the magic of three
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that our brains can remember. We can not feel overwhelmed. If you're one of those go-getters
who likes to have a list of a hundred things, go for it. Love it. Love it. And yeah, there
you go. I have my list of goals and then my first paragraph is my intention is to, this
is a financial thing. So I'm not going to get into that, but I feel like that's definitely
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a step that I would suggest people really chew on because if they can't decide what
actions they would take in that role that they were having, it's possibly because it's
been neglected too long. I don't know. I think there's something, I'm going to have to spend
some time on that. I don't think that I want to put like three to five things, but let's
say like top goal as a wife, what's my goal as a wife for my husband to feel like the
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most important relationship of my life? That's easy for you to say. As a mother, that each
of my children can in a safe place grow their ambitions and goals. Okay. That's easy enough.
So then like maybe I'll say like church calling would come to mind. Anyway, I'm just thinking,
I'm thinking the ones that easily come to mind, it tells me I want to focus. I want
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those roles to be the big ones and then I'll have to let the spirit just fuse on me or
just still on me. Okay, that's a role. You shouldn't have picked that one up. It was
good that you tried it out, but like your growth isn't going to happen there. If I can't
think of a tangible trackable goal there and it doesn't have to be writing it down, I'm
just saying if I can't really project like what value it's going to bring to 2025, he's
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giving me an opportunity to not. Right. Also for me, Abby, when I was listening to that,
I said I chose one. I was for my brain, I was like too much overload, but I wanted to
put something down. And so I felt the spirit tutor me in that moment. And it was like,
if you're looking at all of these goals, what are the, what are the traits you need to have
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over across the board? So I wrote down authenticity and being humble. If I'm humble and teachable
in each one of my roles, then I'm kind of leaving the door open for teach me what I
need to know. Heavenly father, like as I come back to it, love it. Totally. Okay. Last two,
what daily rituals do you need to commit to in 2025 to enable your top goals? That's about
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habit creation and atomic habits. It's a great one. Others that you realize goals are all
about who you're becoming through habits, not about this lofty random thing that's in
the future. Are my actions today in line with the future that I want to create tomorrow?
And this question nine helps with that. Then the last question, what do I need to stop
doing? Again, creating space. What do I need to stop doing to do? Cause a lot of times
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we just add, add, add without removing. And it's important to do that. Okay. So that's
step three. Then the last step is nine. That was the 10 questions in step three. Yeah.
That's why if you have the having funny, it'll be a lot easier to follow. Now going back
to the first page of step four, this is when you print and place your top three to five
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goals in a visual place. And the elder Ballard was one of the masters of goal setting. He
was so good. If you study his talks and how he, what he shared and preached my gospel,
he was a master at goal setting. And he figured out a few things. He figured out specificity
and visualization. Love it. The clearer and simpler the goal, the better. And the more
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you can envision and see that future person through some type of art through a creator
and with AI now it's easier than ever. Like actually create the person you want to become.
If you want to have six pack, six pack abs, go actually Photoshop yourself or do AI with
your face, with your six pack. Seriously, the more you can visualize it, the better.
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And like this says here, see these goals every morning and every night, visualize what that
looks like because out of sight, out of mind, insight in mind. Where we fail a lot in goals
is we get excited and then we just kind of peter off because we get distracted and life
gets hard. And that's why I recommend don't do too many. One to three goals, great thing
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to do in my opinion. Again, that's what works for me. Whatever works for you, do that. But
these four steps, I'm a big believer in and I've seen CEOs change their lives.
And Jesus Christ into the process really ties into like what Amy's sharing that you put,
you kind of purge, put what on the paper that you can and then you ask him to help you with
eyes of discernment to see what rises to the top, what things, if I focus on those couple
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of things will be, make me the person at the end of 2025 that I could only dream of.
Love it.
And that's it. I think we've gone on longer than most of your podcast episodes. I apologize
for that.
How long is this? Has it been too long?
Yeah, it's been long.
Well, I'm glad that you've been here with us. Thank you so much. The things you shared
were awesome. I loved doing this yesterday with, because we did it as kind of an extended
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family, my kids were happy to do it with cousins and they sat down and did their own thing
and it was wonderful. So thank you for sharing this. I really appreciate that.
My pleasure.
Thank you guys for the time that you spent with us in 2024. We hope that you can like
look back on some of the conference talks and really let the best goals, the best action
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items that you've been achieving rise to the top and carry those with you into 2025. And
I'm just excited for this year. I think it's going to be the best.
Happy new year.
Happy new year.
Happy new year.
Happy new year.
Happy new year.